subreddit,author,date,post,automated_readability_index,coleman_liau_index,flesch_kincaid_grade_level,flesch_reading_ease,gulpease_index,gunning_fog_index,lix,smog_index,wiener_sachtextformel,n_chars,n_long_words,n_monosyllable_words,n_polysyllable_words,n_sents,n_syllables,n_unique_words,n_words,sent_neg,sent_neu,sent_pos,sent_compound,economic_stress_total,isolation_total,substance_use_total,guns_total,domestic_stress_total,suicidality_total,punctuation,liwc_1st_pers,liwc_2nd_pers,liwc_3rd_pers,liwc_achievement,liwc_adverbs,liwc_affective_processes,liwc_anger,liwc_anxiety,liwc_articles_article,liwc_assent,liwc_auxiliary_verbs,liwc_biological,liwc_body,liwc_causation,liwc_certainty,liwc_cognitive,liwc_common_verbs,liwc_conjunctions,liwc_death,liwc_discrepancy,liwc_exclusive,liwc_family,liwc_feel,liwc_fillers,liwc_friends,liwc_future_tense,liwc_health,liwc_hear,liwc_home,liwc_humans,liwc_impersonal_pronouns,liwc_inclusive,liwc_ingestion,liwc_inhibition,liwc_insight,liwc_leisure,liwc_money,liwc_motion,liwc_negations,liwc_negative_emotion,liwc_nonfluencies,liwc_numbers,liwc_past_tense,liwc_perceptual_processes,liwc_personal_pronouns,liwc_positive_emotion,liwc_prepositions,liwc_present_tense,liwc_quantifiers,liwc_relativity,liwc_religion,liwc_sadness,liwc_see,liwc_sexual,liwc_social_processes,liwc_space,liwc_swear_words,liwc_tentative,liwc_time,liwc_total_functional,liwc_total_pronouns,liwc_work,tfidf_abl,tfidf_abus,tfidf_actual,tfidf_addict,tfidf_adhd,tfidf_advic,tfidf_ago,tfidf_alcohol,tfidf_almost,tfidf_alon,tfidf_alreadi,tfidf_also,tfidf_alway,tfidf_amp,tfidf_amp x200b,tfidf_ani,tfidf_anoth,tfidf_anxieti,tfidf_anxious,tfidf_anymor,tfidf_anyon,tfidf_anyon els,tfidf_anyth,tfidf_around,tfidf_ask,tfidf_attack,tfidf_away,tfidf_back,tfidf_bad,tfidf_becaus,tfidf_becom,tfidf_befor,tfidf_believ,tfidf_best,tfidf_better,tfidf_bit,tfidf_bodi,tfidf_bpd,tfidf_brain,tfidf_call,tfidf_came,tfidf_care,tfidf_caus,tfidf_chang,tfidf_come,tfidf_complet,tfidf_constant,tfidf_control,tfidf_could,tfidf_coupl,tfidf_cri,tfidf_day,tfidf_deal,tfidf_depress,tfidf_diagnos,tfidf_die,tfidf_differ,tfidf_disord,tfidf_doctor,tfidf_doe,tfidf_done,tfidf_dont,tfidf_drink,tfidf_drug,tfidf_eat,tfidf_els,tfidf_emot,tfidf_end,tfidf_enough,tfidf_etc,tfidf_even,tfidf_ever,tfidf_everi,tfidf_everyon,tfidf_everyth,tfidf_experi,tfidf_famili,tfidf_fear,tfidf_feel,tfidf_feel like,tfidf_felt,tfidf_final,tfidf_find,tfidf_first,tfidf_food,tfidf_found,tfidf_friend,tfidf_fuck,tfidf_get,tfidf_give,tfidf_go,tfidf_good,tfidf_got,tfidf_great,tfidf_guess,tfidf_guy,tfidf_happen,tfidf_happi,tfidf_hard,tfidf_hate,tfidf_head,tfidf_health,tfidf_hear,tfidf_heart,tfidf_help,tfidf_high,tfidf_home,tfidf_hope,tfidf_hour,tfidf_hous,tfidf_hurt,tfidf_idea,tfidf_im,tfidf_issu,tfidf_job,tfidf_keep,tfidf_kill,tfidf_kind,tfidf_know,tfidf_last,tfidf_late,tfidf_leav,tfidf_left,tfidf_let,tfidf_life,tfidf_like,tfidf_littl,tfidf_live,tfidf_long,tfidf_look,tfidf_lose,tfidf_lost,tfidf_lot,tfidf_love,tfidf_made,tfidf_make,tfidf_mani,tfidf_mayb,tfidf_mean,tfidf_med,tfidf_medic,tfidf_mental,tfidf_might,tfidf_mind,tfidf_mom,tfidf_month,tfidf_move,tfidf_much,tfidf_need,tfidf_never,tfidf_new,tfidf_next,tfidf_night,tfidf_normal,tfidf_noth,tfidf_notic,tfidf_old,tfidf_onc,tfidf_one,tfidf_onli,tfidf_pain,tfidf_panic,tfidf_parent,tfidf_part,tfidf_past,tfidf_peopl,tfidf_person,tfidf_place,tfidf_pleas,tfidf_point,tfidf_possibl,tfidf_post,tfidf_pretti,tfidf_probabl,tfidf_problem,tfidf_ptsd,tfidf_put,tfidf_question,tfidf_quit,tfidf_read,tfidf_real,tfidf_realli,tfidf_reason,tfidf_recent,tfidf_relationship,tfidf_rememb,tfidf_right,tfidf_said,tfidf_say,tfidf_scare,tfidf_school,tfidf_see,tfidf_seem,tfidf_self,tfidf_sever,tfidf_shit,tfidf_sinc,tfidf_situat,tfidf_sleep,tfidf_social,tfidf_someon,tfidf_someth,tfidf_sometim,tfidf_sorri,tfidf_start,tfidf_stay,tfidf_still,tfidf_stop,tfidf_stress,tfidf_struggl,tfidf_stuff,tfidf_suicid,tfidf_support,tfidf_sure,tfidf_symptom,tfidf_take,tfidf_talk,tfidf_tell,tfidf_thank,tfidf_therapi,tfidf_therapist,tfidf_thing,tfidf_think,tfidf_though,tfidf_thought,tfidf_time,tfidf_tire,tfidf_today,tfidf_told,tfidf_took,tfidf_tri,tfidf_turn,tfidf_two,tfidf_understand,tfidf_us,tfidf_use,tfidf_usual,tfidf_veri,tfidf_want,tfidf_way,tfidf_week,tfidf_weight,tfidf_well,tfidf_went,tfidf_whi,tfidf_whole,tfidf_wish,tfidf_without,tfidf_wonder,tfidf_work,tfidf_worri,tfidf_wors,tfidf_would,tfidf_wrong,tfidf_x200b,tfidf_year
bipolarreddit,KitsiCode,2020/01/01,My Xanax has almost worn off I say to my fiancée as we assemble ikea furniture.,1.1156250000000014,3.6526993125000047,3.7550000000000026,82.39000000000001,87.125,8.200000000000001,26.75,8.841846274778883,2.8607250000000013,63,3,12,2,2,22,15,16,0.12,0.88,0.0,-0.228,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,0,8,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7830933189997343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6219042158869648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,i_am_meee,2020/01/01,What’s the difference between a personality type and having a mental illness? I’m not trying to brush off people’s diagnoses. I have been diagnosed as bipolar. Although I have been stable for a while. I like to think of my manic outbursts as more of a personality flaw rather than an illness. I hate thinking of myself as having had a mental health issue as it feels so defeatist. When I was first taken to hospital by my dad I never questioned my mental health. It actually hurt me to be accused of it. I was devastated. Now I feel like I’ll never live the stigma down. Everyone knows about what a fool I made myself look like on Facebook so I just find saying “I was ill” the easiest explanation. In a way I should be proud that I have this uncontrollable beast inside me that i can also tame for long periods of time. Sounds weird but I’m in deep thinking mood tonight and I find my mental health history interesting,2.910118601747812,5.420318151685397,4.773408239700377,78.45283395755307,78.15730337078651,7.326342072409487,25.61922596754057,8.344100000000001,2.042691885143572,733,28,131,15,18,249,109,178,0.128,0.78,0.092,-0.6411,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,2,8,11,1,1,11,0,15,9,0,1,2,19,27,13,0,2,4,1,2,3,0,1,9,2,0,2,8,2,0,0,9,0,0,0,3,5,0,1,8,6,23,5,24,16,1,17,0,1,1,0,5,6,0,1,13,98,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.1244565217693295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019903153421022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2588922594987126,0.0,0.13324774308054005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218659010094533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12897184244387064,0.09111158506531876,0.0,0.0,0.23313078060833944,0.1084818673523003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12591517665627416,0.0,0.4066937035311713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13652968777593238,0.0,0.0,0.13311421707413812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07009032807025516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18692261669660945,0.0,0.11261642826493465,0.1128651499396787,0.10709793255406452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12067743653734185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5141042687100155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19672690817323155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08841724999896408,0.22271864359106364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14286925894783806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10142156933119388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2451593300262257,0.0,0.0,0.0743671375871904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08658842138388713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012319640293182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,beccasueiloveyou,2020/01/01,"Latuda Anyone have insight to stopping latuda? My insurance company changed this year and isn't covering it. I have an appointment with my doc next week and i have about a month supply left. 

I know this is dumb but I'm stable and wondering if I could go off mood stabilizers for a while. I was diagnosed bp1 in 2008 and was in denial. Self medicated with opiates until 2017, accepted I'm actually bp1after a year of sobriety in 2018 and been properly medicated since. I know I'm level because of the meds but really hate that I am gaining weight and no libido. Maybe this is something I'll talk about with my doc when switching. 

Tldr Just wondering what im in for with latuda withdrawal and any suggestions for weight gain and meds.",3.0523095238095266,5.766503421428574,4.57,78.9216666666667,79.07142857142857,8.59047619047619,27.190476190476193,9.21078282632365,2.8987476190476187,589,25,105,17,15,196,89,140,0.083,0.812,0.105,0.4872,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,4,4,2,0,5,0,11,5,0,0,0,24,20,14,0,2,4,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,6,12,2,1,6,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,3,2,10,1,18,16,0,17,0,0,0,0,3,7,1,3,9,65,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.15677384151263093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10924933159654844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11233208940339552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09793238276635452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16994923393702804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12826809276544568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16305908875841768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913026204380744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15861126173630807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1735324628264554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17658102328812475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17454960717324292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16139721051583575,0.0,0.3568978224442044,0.32368134769919965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282314366729618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17085594802862955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10291822072587632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16759578256591387,0.0,0.0,0.13289355725566174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1236782820491829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13431283425385224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12912653898305815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12886588968971188,0.39126336896174907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3484419575295737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2069101177735543
bipolarreddit,jibberjabbery,2020/01/01,"What my therapist says to do instesd of making resolutions She says to think of things you want to stop doing instead of things you want to start doing. I took that to mean stop leaving dishes on the counter, stop ghosting people, stop leaving clothes on the floor. I could be wrong, we didn't have time to come up with stuff and at the time nothing came to mind. Just thought I'd share.

What kind of things do you want to stop doing?",5.955232558139535,5.9300389418604675,5.250558139534885,88.05374418604653,66.55813953488372,7.810232558139535,29.990697674418605,6.742157984588678,1.3721190697674412,343,11,72,2,5,103,54,86,0.153,0.7809999999999999,0.066,-0.8402,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,1,3,0,0,2,3,0,0,3,0,9,1,0,1,0,20,20,1,1,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,7,5,1,5,3,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,4,2,8,2,17,14,0,16,0,0,0,0,8,5,0,0,8,47,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1661126109495036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12510894678404094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1159600482922678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15124214473227413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30757034801707545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969469271419902,0.0,0.0,0.1582058369059835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14664812166254446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13935896498236075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006891545462751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309968262716604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10279960413810922,0.0,0.0,0.6071238142921783,0.0,0.0,0.16626179203670624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16863152831510114,0.28946733192095536,0.09306210296354732,0.0,0.1153020760128845,0.16937790328852004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613638205006893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2569939066958173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15879402665221526,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Lvvvvvv,2020/01/01,"Meds stop working Many people report their meds simply stop working and that scares the s*** out of me. Did this happen to any of you? Just wondering what the signs might be, so I’ll add them to my bucket of hyper self-awareness.",1.8053333333333328,4.300461088888891,2.6044444444444466,92.42000000000004,82.55555555555556,4.488888888888889,17.88888888888889,5.6839178017228535,-0.33064444444444385,179,4,35,1,5,56,38,45,0.145,0.855,0.0,-0.7003,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,2,2,2,1,0,1,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,9,5,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,5,0,6,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,2,2,22,8,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16495102213482288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2144974833567475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24592060791333434,0.0,0.0,0.5388651788485997,0.0,0.0,0.25732079938966296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16816250432307325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24284767866718945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2530459018442766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4055867248289497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2630490100452825,0.3531772152645977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ssnakeggirl,2020/01/01,"Happy New Year! Hobbies for mental health I used to ""run for fitness."" I loved it but it was also kind of stressful because I was constantly pushing myself to run faster and longer. Which is nice, but it can make it harder to enjoy the run. It becomes a bigger time commitment, I always wanted the conditions to be perfect, etc.

This morning I just went for a casual run with my dog. Nice weather, not freezing, nice and sunny. Did an extra half a mile just for fun. I can't keep track of my pace when I run with my dog because we stop for potty breaks, obedience training, etc. Mid run it hit me: this is a run for my mental health. I'm not trying to run the fastest and furthest I just want to get out there every day and have a nice run. See the morning sky.  I guess it took a dog for me to see that. I run almost every day and half the time I go out in a parka and my pajamas because I just need to get out the door and I don't care that I look riddiculous. Gear up, grab the dog, run around, come home and enjoy a day where I'm less anxious and she's happy to chill out in a corner.

I think we miss out on so much because we want to be ""good"" at it and won't do it otherwise. We don't run if we can't run fast. We don't draw if we don't make ""good art,"" we don't sing unless we ""sing well."" Guys that's bullshit. Do what you enjoy. Make it a hobby for your brain. You'll probably get better the more you do it, but don't do it to get better, do it because you enjoy it. It shouldn't have taken a dog for me to realize that I need to do the things I enjoy and not stress about them.

Happy New Year!",0.9808549471661864,2.3986169654178724,3.067397694524498,93.6723549471662,79.63400576368876,5.77940441882805,19.92401536983669,6.42735559955562,-0.013474082612872085,1225,29,288,10,30,416,153,347,0.061,0.715,0.22399999999999998,0.9964,0,0,0,0,1,0,46.0,9,5,1,3,13,26,0,2,21,0,27,4,1,4,2,60,57,20,0,8,13,0,2,0,0,3,2,0,2,1,24,29,0,2,2,4,0,18,13,3,1,2,6,5,42,23,39,45,6,52,1,1,3,1,18,18,0,4,15,189,66,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10119522874254544,0.0,0.0,0.08081623738980412,0.08408855063457424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11416704523007093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08996325849327194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3080208231874476,0.11161088547159922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17875560035193522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128144169315457,0.0,0.0,0.10303561005942627,0.0,0.0,0.08705272477666323,0.0,0.10920805499542546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1955226118646025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254133005301772,0.0,0.0,0.17029185029141655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.211195035861694,0.0,0.057433726234564136,0.16952571275761374,0.0,0.0,0.11132704390320017,0.1000635451777063,0.0,0.32273512444768315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2148403651808685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013696537189546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08982520636090861,0.0,0.10523660488276447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08486346877362358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912090064696449,0.0,0.2023714782205676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20368587195665336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07428943373389171,0.14986680774892389,0.0,0.19520535433737474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10895787429725408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16106066520183634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08448921307309229,0.2315237431638588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06713860366050271,0.06475403913684448,0.0,0.0,0.11785574395151635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11227942218397176,0.06861191079070918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08728187161273553,0.0,0.0,0.17882030345510233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09086349366192703,0.09368200021252772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13015638546133246
bipolarreddit,ProxiC3,2020/01/01,"Involuntary inpatient stays Have you ever been held in inpatient involuntarily?  How long were you stuck there?  I am on my second week (not counting multiple days in the ER waiting for a bed to open up).  I have always managed to avoid inpatient care, but I messed up this time and it feels like I am going to be in the hospital forever.",6.072343750000003,6.696249046875,7.428124999999998,70.30437500000001,66.34375,11.4,33.1875,11.20814326018867,3.944575,265,11,49,8,4,91,50,64,0.1,0.8190000000000001,0.081,0.1306,0,1,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,2,0,0,3,4,0,1,3,0,7,0,0,1,1,10,13,3,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,3,1,0,0,1,1,2,1,1,4,1,7,2,10,8,0,14,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,6,36,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.310175472152545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3800650475900533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404065634537816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3371928611610214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884843020286756,0.26630779544359473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21185444412882096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1821171622881808,0.0,0.0,0.3298907514483317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3973244641293725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21736586461641616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29901454412139816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,EZTEE,2020/01/01,Anyone else wake up and know how how your day will go Ever day has a chance to  be be a chance to be someone else ance I know who will be making the decision that day. So question is what makes the change while I sleep),3.439503546099292,3.5781923829787274,4.328510638297871,91.93333333333334,71.97872340425532,7.117730496453903,22.04964539007092,6.42735559955562,0.20106241134751768,170,3,40,1,3,55,33,47,0.0,0.9109999999999999,0.08900000000000001,0.4588,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,0,8,2,2,4,1,10,13,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,3,7,0,7,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,5,27,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17319839488561986,0.2537990876386937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26203495978989805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4792402262246317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4138450326263599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22405986029468475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14077426488470068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27226013477711564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3306848658200166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2774819634005419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24788002459583525,0.0,0.20987637023438407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,maisykatee,2020/01/01,"How do I even know if I have bi-polar? How did you Tw//mention of suicide and self harm. Please don't read if you are triggered by these. I am a  long time lurker, and I don't know where else to go.

I really think I do have bi-polar. 

I don't have the highest of highs, nor do I have the lowest of lows. 

I get quite high and happy and feel like I'm invincible - the world is mine and i can do anything if I can set my mind to it. I barely sleep, eat healthily and attend my university lectures. Can go out a few times a week, be really social and bubbly, and just be a good, enjoyable, fun person to be around.

However in my lows, I can barely motivate myself to get out of bed. It's hard enough motivating myself to shower - my record is 4 days (thank God for men's deodorant and dry shampoo, and little social interaction). Sometimes I think about self harm again, though I wouldn't do it because I know i will regret it later. I eat like shit, I don't take care of myself and I find myself being unreasonably snappy and angry at nothing.

My grandma (dad's side) had pretty severe bi-polar, and my mum has told me about a mania where she took all her clothes off and ran down the street naked. She was later prescribed lithium. This sort of mania reported makes me just think that I'm not actually bi-polar, just have erratic mood swings, maybe due to hormones or my environment (even when I changed it by going to uni?). It also scares me that later on, life insurance will be hard to get if I'm diagnosed with bi-polar.

My collegue who knows quite a bit about mental health issues has told me that when her friend went to the doctor to see if she had bi-polar, that her, her mum and a few other friends had to fill out a form about her friends mood and actions. I know that I'm really really good at covering and acting like I'm feeling better than I am - sometimes I even think about SH or even suicide with a massive grin on my face, making my friends cry with laughter. What if they don't believe it, and I don't get the right diagnosis? 

How do I know if I am bi-polar? Is your experience any similar to mine? Or am I making it all up, and I'm just over reacting? 

Thank you. I really don't know what's going on with me any more. I just want to know what's wrong.",4.351786030061895,4.478056341880347,5.731143530798705,82.71653846153849,69.98290598290598,8.677394636015325,26.394341290893017,8.53829466247534,1.6083261715296198,1760,48,375,26,29,596,212,468,0.102,0.7559999999999999,0.142,0.9551,3,0,0,0,0,2,65.0,0,4,1,5,25,27,1,1,15,0,45,9,3,10,2,75,87,37,2,10,16,3,4,3,4,3,4,0,2,4,20,27,2,0,17,1,0,11,10,8,0,0,10,5,64,17,46,69,8,49,0,3,1,0,30,25,1,11,15,247,84,6,0.0,0.0,0.07768682249158794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06366322480494994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10827359142541504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06551135829032502,0.07086881714151126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048528858913845424,0.0,0.0,0.08969199182198427,0.0,0.07040762065832562,0.08691232244204022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08116659990602312,0.0,0.08421568191517159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08744666080669163,0.05134116771422295,0.0,0.0,0.0808013783536374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08148310324961397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16291959971883216,0.06650303772019615,0.0,0.0,0.08225729547950315,0.0,0.21032376420391252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07787279981115146,0.0,0.0,0.0805053241719243,0.056872628571570334,0.0,0.0,0.0727611109203786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24602261739266204,0.0,0.16636950048665314,0.0,0.1809743359875008,0.1335443706621875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08474517598513565,0.1426279116131777,0.0,0.0,0.0846205596018798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16822239026773864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08309102975022813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3500078451662428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05623013472597041,0.11667869177548575,0.07978905215806982,0.0,0.0704513893221388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15941871742833005,0.0,0.07997786061121037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08022706744823438,0.0,0.08038231555455777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07638690609584402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06951143854998082,0.0,0.08738668838335778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08099089187232038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16934777199733467,0.07963046360812365,0.0,0.2549975642472552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06798558296360048,0.0,0.0,0.07970241711242727,0.0,0.06343800248038335,0.0,0.1660989318742684,0.08993542016490692,0.08171741268081273,0.0,0.0,0.0796664129138564,0.1623025377237584,0.0,0.0,0.15747051555034086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1741584755232425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059856000616000514,0.0,0.0,0.1465863960397582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20404072665315895,0.07821536000180952,0.0,0.09284120325411988,0.0,0.0,0.15213946983101245,0.08844843964945451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04695540379111901,0.0,0.0638574739315718,0.0,0.0,0.07379826668916363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08703985713440851,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,abbsrett,2020/01/01,"My mental health journey I created a blog dedicated to my mental Illness journey with depression, anxiety, and bipolar. It’s going to launch in about 3 hours and I’d really appreciate any feedback. I’m still in the beginning stages but I’d like to be able to make people feel less alone, and writing is a form of therapy for myself. 
Abbsrett.blogspot.com",4.855589743589746,7.520325353846157,6.244230769230772,69.58993589743592,72.38461538461539,9.871794871794874,32.371794871794876,10.125756701596842,4.145256410256411,288,14,45,9,6,97,51,65,0.11599999999999999,0.75,0.134,0.2815,0,1,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,2,3,0,2,0,9,7,4,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,1,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,1,10,6,2,9,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,4,27,5,1,0.2660881275478688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2755870521590576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18094905128324154,0.0,0.20355668925888687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22918131435422665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13454215234186934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512240148887595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28283923674158196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26204320626306143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299972184894083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17761589134637504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5363084959454689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18447200402191544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17046286808307512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21249832237977467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3042949636612489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,emilyamilli,2020/01/01,I am currently on Vraylar 6mg and Pristiq 150 mg. I have tried Trintellix and Effexor. pls help? I am currently on Vraylar 6mg and Pristiq 150 mg. I have tried Trintellix and Effexor. But nothing seems to be working for my depression symptoms. What do you take with Vraylar for those of you that do?,1.9588916256157631,4.6546050862069,3.917290640394089,81.73534482758622,84.34482758620689,8.141871921182268,34.14778325123153,8.841846274778883,3.775716256157636,237,15,43,7,7,80,34,58,0.065,0.8590000000000001,0.076,-0.264,2,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,7,1,0,0,0,7,9,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,7,0,7,8,0,4,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,1,2,29,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3264742916981147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2540685106615206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3637076754798064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34507191371637685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3939769779962108,0.28499762538160783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5146986899462866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2759521386310288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Itcallsmyname,2020/01/01,"Suicidal ideation getting really strong I don’t know how else to fight this. I’ve been particularly good about taking my medications lately: take seroquel 25mg nightly (I can up it to 50mg but it makes me sleep in), Wellbutrin 200mg twice daily, and lamictal 150mg once daily (if I go any higher it gives me unbearable memory issues).  I’ve stopped drinking for a few weeks now (was not a massive issue before I stopped anyway) and haven’t smoked weed in months now. I’ve been trying to take care of myself. Just came out of an awful mixed episode not long ago, now have little time to myself due to some recently changed circumstances in my home life. Overstimulated in my job and shutting down, burnt out, etc. but cannot, with my financial obligations, see taking a vacation as a realistic option. Im not even sure if it would help at this point anyways. I’m isolating myself more and more from my friends and family because keeping up a healthy facade while I’m screaming inside practically gives me tunnel vision. 

I have no intention to follow through with any of these feelings, I know they’ll come and go eventually and I have plenty of things to live for and people to take care of who need me. But the level of noise in my brain is so overwhelming lately that it’s constant torture just being awake.  I can’t think straight. Its like there’s this ringing in my brain that clouds my ability to be present. I’ve called three therapists with no call backs, continuing the search, but I just need some self soothing techniques that are healthier than constantly snowballing into worse and worse thoughts of suicide, and feeling this pressure inside of me building.

This isn’t unfamiliar territory for me and is something I’ve experienced before, but it feels like it’s come back with a vengeance this time. I have every reason to be happy, I really do, but I’m in constant torture right now. I have a fantastic support system but I can tell that my mental state is wearing on them. And the more I suppress it the harder it gets. I need to find another therapist soon because I cannot take this much longer.",5.912482407407406,7.088523957500001,6.147277777777778,77.37646296296298,66.925,9.125925925925927,32.064814814814824,9.348350401419415,2.910337037037037,1693,69,303,32,27,541,221,400,0.126,0.743,0.132,0.391,1,0,3,0,1,1,40.0,0,0,2,1,17,16,3,2,12,1,26,7,4,4,1,61,61,25,2,6,15,0,3,2,1,2,2,2,1,1,24,22,1,4,9,1,0,6,11,6,0,2,5,7,36,10,46,51,8,55,0,1,1,0,12,21,0,5,28,196,60,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07480065489202549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11476699982535993,0.08848318941194072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297710127704936,0.0,0.10287848531055344,0.0,0.14360785196963416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18839921624467054,0.17232945457753218,0.09651195180213848,0.17206868331612482,0.0,0.08926628390551714,0.14537738673806266,0.0,0.27356492895621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08266345461353518,0.0,0.0,0.07049137299262168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09410962336661856,0.055734337182043237,0.0,0.0710965229453455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07954901303687588,0.0,0.12800011161832153,0.060283406760709576,0.0,0.0,0.07712475677916744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06519428541074182,0.0,0.08817352496545648,0.16189619449670026,0.09591388497064676,0.07077666198512876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08982753291402493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05656031009342384,0.0,0.08464327446390603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09114838434181914,0.17614836769134815,0.08373734965877888,0.07500370492398871,0.0,0.0,0.0927496487745576,0.0,0.19037595063549775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05960238112837377,0.08245078184089348,0.08457417930390529,0.07451195090247083,0.07467651603299788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05632647097779633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08500724130755219,0.0850384633464684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06735390072956939,0.0,0.062031393998243235,0.18770731983298164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07918795872404126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08986540146506061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05850071692342641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07976944116633722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081161344189512,0.0867600293977518,0.08331827391383255,0.0,0.0,0.0720628297758584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0672425207637323,0.0,0.08803012735814753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08444418511110231,0.0,0.0,0.06496234424004399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14109634173581034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846031471462692,0.09575710591851652,0.07953020934527884,0.0,0.380674189623166,0.0,0.07375467507095289,0.0,0.0,0.1959509015003731,0.05606047814383264,0.05406937585583936,0.0,0.06699087046572769,0.09840909696794918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057290683981739886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06768714885199932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17198747049922825,0.05994343584841366,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,badgerbadgermoon,2020/01/01,"“Are you manic right now?” How do you deal with someone asking you this?

I am newly-diagnosed bipolar and my partner and I have been through a few episodes. 

Whenever I get excited about something or say something he doesn’t expect (usually because he’s on video games and not paying attention) he asks “are you manic right now?”

And it just sends me into a nonverbal tantrum.

1. Just because you don’t understand what I’m saying or don’t like the way I’m saying it doesn’t make me mentally ill

2. If I am manic, I probably can’t recognize or fix it. It’s not a 5-hour state.

I feel so invalidated and it makes me furious. I shut down. Like.... I don’t know what to do other than shut down. Is there better language I can teach him to use? 

He says “I just want to know how you’re feeling,” so I say “so ask that instead.”

Just really makes me fly off the handle. I’m so upset and I can’t back down from the ledge without leaving to take a walk",1.077307692307695,3.176353076923082,3.2801923076923103,88.91105769230771,82.33333333333333,6.566666666666667,23.59615384615385,7.734863291789972,1.2250461538461541,730,27,156,13,20,249,111,195,0.076,0.866,0.059000000000000004,-0.7207,0,0,2,0,0,0,25.0,0,5,0,1,16,7,2,1,7,0,17,2,0,6,0,33,35,16,0,3,11,0,2,2,1,0,2,5,0,1,10,8,0,0,6,2,1,2,10,3,0,0,1,7,23,4,16,34,1,18,0,0,0,0,22,10,0,4,6,101,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3878183534251057,0.0,0.0,0.10632849734823474,0.0,0.1685879537964244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12229709253554555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425602231661816,0.0,0.14035091021565307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13983666807370929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07224539760705136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361775778719088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15198973288767592,0.0,0.0,0.1464181585465687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13511288154672815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27690817350358843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13935333987759138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14908882529188255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08858546963949318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23618009110493304,0.0,0.5498275459720267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11716387886707325,0.2129088245455436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10396907007646593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439539679629659,0.0,0.11942919951355542,0.1522954726796217,0.0,0.08156090645860141,0.10975993119256404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13329662550335247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sts916,2020/01/02,"Johann Hari “Lost Connections” Hey guys, hope everyone is ok. Heard this book recommended on a podcast and picked it up.  I was wondering if anyone with bipolar has read it and if you think it applies to people with bipolar and not just depression. My understanding is that the book might be anti-meds. 

Anyway thanks in advance.",5.305762711864404,7.702665677966106,5.612000000000003,75.84444067796613,70.1864406779661,8.787796610169492,30.444067796610174,9.3871,3.1006718644067788,261,11,43,6,5,83,50,59,0.035,0.768,0.19699999999999998,0.8590000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,2,2,5,0,0,2,1,6,2,0,1,0,15,13,5,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,5,5,0,0,3,3,0,1,1,2,0,0,3,1,3,3,6,8,0,4,0,2,0,0,4,3,0,5,0,30,8,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20684810517014984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2547941155996619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28267399352569583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2929138074169996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29382152345994833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32292853688051176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3138241631511466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20508819076329024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2959056079190113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27235642408326083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18955306965706387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30796483385771045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3208101935055412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,AlwaysOdd33,2020/01/02,"13 year old me would be so proud of 23 year old me 10 years ago I was in the 7th grade. I played the oboe in the school band, in all advanced classes, I was taking advanced math, and in the middle of making it into the top band.

Then my mental health started to deteriorate. I don’t remember specifically what set me off I just remember I began to self-harm, not practice my instrument, my grades began to drop and I started to isolate myself. 

Sophomore year of high school I had two stays in the hospital. I had a therapist who was assigned to see me every week after I got out. At this point my class ranking was in the 33rd percentile, I quit band and all my other creative pursuits. And this therapist slowly helped me put all the pieces together again. She taught me how to be a functioning human again.

Since 2012, my sophomore year of high school, to now I’ve slowly learned how to handle having bipolar. I don’t self harm anymore, I started writing poetry again and I have stayed out of the hospital since then. I am not the same person I was before bipolar and I’m okay with that. I love the 23 year old woman I have become. I graduated with my bachelors in psychology, I put together a poetry book of all my old poems, I’m applying to graduate school, and I published an academic paper. 

But most importantly, I’m happy. I never thought I would be happy again and that is what 13 year old me would be so proud about. Sure I still have my depressed days and manic days and mixed episode days but I’m happy. I never thought I would be happy and that’s what I’m so proud of. I’m not where I planed to be yet I am so proud of where I ended up.

Much love to all of you all in this subreddit.",3.1368529285099065,4.59299082267442,4.643423772609818,84.46419465977606,73.91279069767442,7.654435831180017,25.822136089577953,8.285830014693849,1.6133332472006887,1329,45,271,22,27,445,156,344,0.022000000000000002,0.821,0.157,0.9927,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,1,0,9,17,15,0,0,15,1,26,5,0,3,9,46,46,21,0,4,6,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,4,12,16,0,0,5,5,0,4,7,2,0,1,13,1,48,13,38,23,10,64,0,1,1,2,14,21,0,1,35,186,60,18,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07124648574868962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07970916947204261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08876649951656015,0.06839214705756044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15550327155116275,0.0,0.06922579878458736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07118729215051359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06771835642507143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06428223543339869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3422374337677795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08543354481681775,0.0,0.0,0.053872834841212025,0.16983857334136318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14508090666037896,0.0,0.05365010664126391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08099784254095542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05908395902210682,0.0,0.12397839194579695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4216936861396339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07017926410060445,0.0,0.0,0.07597917907860828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16159564952199032,0.0,0.08548738354266998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18209559659494826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3253701305068813,0.06404747798284273,0.0,0.1676947139923031,0.0,0.0,0.13297200403383214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17066687580344655,0.17133546092862345,0.06418658584175871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07575131440878323,0.0,0.06043106232387705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18664025243283772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12761556980532845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07851348143213009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06447097947223357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22838084260445699,0.0,0.0,0.3623064486415783
bipolarreddit,AliveDifference,2020/01/02,"Unreasonably agitated, screaming, shouting, crying, screaming at family. Feel like my new medication is causing it. Rexulti to blame? Hello I cannot control my emotions since starting rexulti.  I am normally not a verbally yelling person but since starting this medication I noticed a huge increase in agitation and its only getting worse day by day. 

im also on seroquel and trileptal if that makes a differnce. 

Thees no way in hell I can even work Im stuck pacing with akathisia and yelling a and cursing uncontrollably. i do not want to take antipsychotics anymore.",5.578163265306124,8.779386408163266,6.413632653061224,66.53493877551023,72.6734693877551,9.226122448979591,40.41224489795919,9.642632912329526,5.165294693877551,460,30,64,13,10,151,72,98,0.29100000000000004,0.64,0.069,-0.9707,0,0,0,0,2,0,12.0,0,1,0,2,2,5,1,1,4,0,5,2,0,3,0,15,13,7,0,3,4,0,1,1,0,0,2,5,0,1,4,5,0,1,1,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,1,6,8,1,8,12,1,12,1,0,0,0,3,5,1,1,6,40,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14086468906156344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17469048792286865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.180951486815846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19756383409781472,0.0,0.0,0.1934892038809957,0.2272004802860467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19814166176324172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11634342957654475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16605571114822973,0.0,0.08906521380296736,0.12583944913869874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09202953521118938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3805379653139532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08605652471747381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11757948763427455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35489913373359233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17012386637883573,0.0,0.0,0.17258665653216293,0.0,0.20054452244116927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13396772794613132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538047626014022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29142123068913883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24935550078574664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324406192283569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10389606205248116,0.1398172864575375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12823711098907073,0.0,0.17950883758353753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,chairman707,2020/01/02,"Psych doesn't think I need to up my meds but should I still convince her? So instead she put me back on abilify to change my thinking process, she says, as she suspects it's the cause for my depression and suicidal tendencies being back. It's not that I don't trust her. 

But, even now i'm more pissy than usual and without any reason. Should I believe her or insist I should probably up my meds and see how it goes? I'm seeing her in February but she has allowed me to see another psych for this month. Maybe I should talk it out with them instead?",3.0014186507936493,4.553570669642858,4.013333333333332,88.45388888888891,74.44642857142857,7.477777777777778,26.73015873015873,8.167268648758528,1.6110682539682544,433,16,91,7,9,140,73,112,0.13,0.8240000000000001,0.047,-0.9109,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,0,9,3,0,0,1,0,8,0,0,4,0,23,16,10,1,5,6,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,6,5,0,0,4,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,0,4,21,2,14,11,1,12,0,1,3,0,11,5,0,1,6,68,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12112086476299165,0.1867637985635256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.273911094859138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20066890677173765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18296796786816985,0.1884166967380434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15340582769153105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11763993354803315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1789353712497244,0.0,0.3956799758382816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421656523903221,0.0,0.0,0.13206626141144104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920326365246065,0.0,0.0,0.17904968091022408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831266793330645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14164017065685655,0.0,0.0,0.4257916792879519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422388257069961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.194823362589855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14315802062055158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2282513116425433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19616293234702467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17169162333345972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Charlietd76,2020/01/02,"Probably shouldn’t have. So yeah, diagnosis of BP2, stable for a long time on a hefty dose of medication, but I feel like I fucked up.

Went out last night and my friend had cocaine. I did some couple weeks back and it was fine. I did perhaps 3 small lines. One at mine, one at the restaurant we went to and one when we got home. Nice high but I’ll be frank, be it the meds or just the way my head works, I swear the high isn’t worth it- I get ‘coke anxiety’ very quickly and my instant reaction is to have another ‘bump’. Historically I could bash through 2 grams easily on my own but now I’m more sensible and reserved (or maybe not...). 3 small lines, nice high, took meds and slept last night.

Today I’ve got the jitters. Me and my friend were watching a horror movie this afternoon and I had to turn it off- too real, too much- a classic sign that my mind isn’t working right. Right now I’m fine, but I’m still jittery. Feel a bit out of sorts, quite shaky, and I have work early tomorrow. I’m a nurse on a psych high dependancy unit and I’m fucking scared I’ll start spinning out. I know it’s my own stupid fucking fault for doing coke in the first place, but my brain just feel all over the place.

Honestly guys I don’t know why I’m even posting here. Feel like I’m spinning out a bit and I’m regretting my decision to do coke like I did. I’m hoping this will pass and I don’t get unwell. Hoping everything is alright at work tomorrow too. I’m fucked if it’s not. People to look after and all that. I’m a nurse, not a patient, but sometimes I must confess I’m more patient than I am staff. 

Fuck I’m scared. Just hope a good nights sleep will ease this a bit. Not a nice feeling.",0.04941466298777897,2.280982765536727,1.8873643410852736,96.19420772566023,88.57627118644069,5.213927210616213,19.249507292077254,6.7210904114959815,0.06995829720141923,1305,39,302,17,43,428,178,354,0.126,0.6970000000000001,0.17600000000000002,0.9341,0,0,1,0,0,0,48.0,2,0,0,6,15,27,6,3,20,2,26,14,4,1,3,60,65,24,0,8,16,0,5,3,2,4,2,0,1,1,11,19,3,0,9,0,1,4,9,11,0,4,13,7,28,16,27,45,11,53,1,1,2,5,6,24,5,10,26,165,39,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08555411635673575,0.062416044526287774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06273759117457844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2672250934038633,0.0,0.0,0.09108130355176376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06514289022013738,0.09027766430984384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053889354577159855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07332773453239061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20627150603123914,0.11657567116788806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06940032097495571,0.0,0.0,0.1260722972780217,0.3771427049856633,0.0852547027815456,0.0,0.0,0.06843373091612262,0.1305097809995846,0.0,0.0,0.08078682122983004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0837347685037819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3448168045591453,0.08184131472235212,0.2431115190357964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08967934243828284,0.13301330427222838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11958210079565187,0.0,0.0,0.07220448747681069,0.06851496085394987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08196801355498005,0.0,0.18125595513299836,0.08219323311383694,0.0,0.0,0.08238253287351795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059977958922670126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2296997614944049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16586226838930268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0565641584111328,0.0,0.17048814451075775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07814056359219038,0.0,0.08796770389058417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08678089389051191,0.0,0.092867160092365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393546449809015,0.0,0.0,0.1633714319515165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08164881585597585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08069449004072762,0.0,0.057749745931150676,0.0,0.06515779363334491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04757572251018473,0.0,0.07733767813977489,0.0,0.0906493727726334,0.0,0.0887463740336396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06732020618912272,0.0,0.06476225905795012,0.06544649042632911,0.0,0.0,0.15126929572966105,0.07362218758571483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2375936542078295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,gryffinhorse,2020/01/02,"Impending sense of doom I’ve been going through a depressive episode and keep getting this awful sense of impending doom. It’s not exactly anxiety but more like a sense of dread that something bad is coming. 

I looked it up and seems like this can definitely happen with bipolar disorder. Has anyone else experienced this and do you know what causes it or some ways to help get rid of it? Thanks!",6.273918918918916,7.5469807162162175,6.287405405405406,76.34543243243247,66.16216216216216,10.244324324324324,32.36756756756757,10.355215969177356,3.451181621621622,319,13,57,8,5,101,57,74,0.212,0.584,0.204,0.2095,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,0,0,8,0,1,2,1,5,1,0,1,1,14,15,5,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,9,5,0,1,2,0,0,2,1,5,0,0,1,2,2,3,8,14,2,4,2,3,1,0,2,1,0,3,2,34,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19325986543569865,0.0,0.0,0.17664349663116485,0.25884742356824564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21093397715100745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2595187294333027,0.0,0.2176168069520119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2175882803642165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2895337797747033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21103842698668174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639755933329394,0.0,0.14357441592537504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22339826434277132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16933134318783213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2245475330291637,0.0,0.0,0.1388378403623847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24684273500170734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.212144044299214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22998320608032524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19448551446460247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2325860855261551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20052448958985145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,equinezoe,2020/01/02,"Psychiatrists who don't listen Sorry, this is more of a rant than anything. And sorry if this gets long.

I have found myself back in mental health services through being high risk in pregnancy. After a 16 month wait, I finally saw a psychiatrist. Due to my history and present symptoms I got diagnosed with bipolar (flagged by my GP). I also have a history with an eating disorder (no fun with pregnancy weight gain).

I was prescribed quetiapine which I quickly found detrimental in that I CANNOT FUNCTION. I can't wake up before lunch time, too drowsy to drive, brain fog and the weight gain is unbearable. I've had to postpone going back to work because of it. I told my psych this and because I'm 'stable', i.e. no manic episodes but continually depressed as I'm missing my baby's life, he told me I had to stay on it with no alternative. Note: my partner is on chemo and struggles with energy, meaning we can barely function right now. My partner's in and out of hospital so I have baby alone.  He said my weight gain is because I eat too much and to see a dietician (no acknowledgement of the eating disorder).  

I saw my GP for my dietician and he can't refer me to the dietician as you have to be BMI 35. And while I was there I saw the letter from the psych basically saying I need to get a grip on my meds as it's not a high dose. It apparently doesn't matter that I can't live my life. To top it off, my psych discharged me. 

What the heck do I do in this situation",4.128989111002767,5.276925952218433,5.638459288152124,79.48835039817978,71.04778156996588,8.857402892897774,29.652039655452622,9.23628265651192,2.5344933853404847,1156,46,228,24,21,392,158,293,0.095,0.852,0.053,-0.8332,1,1,0,0,0,0,34.0,1,1,0,5,9,5,0,2,14,0,23,16,2,0,0,27,43,17,0,2,3,0,4,0,2,0,7,3,0,2,14,16,7,1,5,0,0,2,11,4,0,0,13,11,36,1,39,28,2,31,0,2,4,0,14,15,1,1,13,154,50,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11633865223887235,0.0,0.08982921741114011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09243694558028648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17274766679628384,0.0,0.20542359100292168,0.0,0.09558344668718292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253959737914419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096748541055969,0.114011261689721,0.0,0.0,0.2574768340715237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34482089593757903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1230505956151072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463252340311232,0.0,0.0,0.11737421467091905,0.0,0.06383898641274109,0.0,0.08983951941602303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11940015085975625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23736286867465475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15868215953032153,0.0,0.0,0.09918829630778517,0.09940736096427244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12235887996153813,0.12477185829077922,0.0,0.113200905328712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08965969327248069,0.0,0.08257451608448879,0.08329030458976835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09592809242024966,0.1068503126744428,0.08932828740720558,0.0,0.0,0.08951142727057906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12626216041522315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2514855568213972,0.0,0.11972744386509655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11743034197658013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11675252477772086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06549976581753161,0.0,0.0,0.2146697650666764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4103582697042116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08177662833713628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ForceDefect24,2020/01/02,"I'm miserable During 2019 I was hospitalised for depression for three times, but these admissions did nothing in the long term, they did tweak my meds here and there , but it was mostly waiting for the episode to pass. But lately I've been getting worse and worse. Suicide is on my mind pretty much nonstop for few months. I'm NOT low on energy, I'm just in mental pain and want to die soooo bad(I could hang myself in my room and I even have the rope for it). I have short hypomanic periods.  I´m only 18 years old, but I feel like my life is over, there is no coming back from this. I used to be on many meds(i have tried around 10 in total), but now im only on 100mg quetiapine for sleep, but I'm planning to drop that soon. I have thought about going to the hospital again but in reality they cant help me so what's the point.  I used to go running to cope but I started getting severe diarrhea during it so I stopped.  I find help in (mostly binge) drinking alcohol and talking to myself, mostly alone, but sometimes with my friends. I have been without alcohol periodically and that didn't help much. I also like to go on long hikes alone, about a week or so. But atm it's winter and I live far in the north so yeah. 

I don't even know why I'm posting this here, maybe to not feel so alone idk. Feel free to respond if you read the whole stupid post.",1.8697389613996125,3.858882740072204,3.2617509025270763,90.65311510691477,79.0,6.2831991113579555,22.206192724243266,7.321109707123232,0.6792833657317416,1057,32,229,14,26,345,157,277,0.21,0.7040000000000001,0.086,-0.9899,0,3,3,0,0,3,33.0,0,1,2,1,20,9,1,1,8,1,19,6,1,2,1,43,40,25,2,3,16,0,3,2,1,0,4,0,1,0,10,10,3,2,6,2,2,7,7,5,0,1,8,3,25,5,36,30,9,48,0,3,0,0,9,20,0,5,20,146,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2350723912798845,0.0,0.3417213086521864,0.0,0.08795173154177757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09790636900675652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08456856717896216,0.0918295051496685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947388560371567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08781084489654002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09472643706854747,0.0,0.11414286956536993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077394676281565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.145282769627155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1668290291831635,0.07857041762378747,0.0,0.0,0.10052060218371264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08497101452376657,0.0,0.11492102142463295,0.0,0.18751413704878656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22115375144330632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11879830633821872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06044265769188607,0.0,0.1240633098783794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07768280242052722,0.107462280430857,0.0,0.09711519993568077,0.1946593720123405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11150342815845493,0.11049065370650152,0.0,0.12216404974489302,0.0,0.11083493681335738,0.0,0.111049414477842,0.0,0.08778575056183667,0.0,0.16169731586583966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055296944010018,0.0,0.11540651353582775,0.0,0.0,0.16729094739179856,0.11702749243399195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10396755330921656,0.0,0.21066271043653986,0.11189017209083643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11001071936375477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242471765242066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11006038388666588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10877397863414576,0.0,0.07784508740152997,0.0,0.0,0.09194900463552337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12030131627697956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08839852719571191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08731259483005567,0.0641307804438071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0746698504327321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18997646979085173,0.0,0.0,0.06486961792031565,0.0,0.08822008972013272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09924070720820936,0.12278981079369987,0.0,0.1060177178248854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22415998214604108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07082413041161616
bipolarreddit,DungDew,2020/01/02,"Taking a job that could ruin you? Im unemployed right now, on disability for life at 50% and hating it.

​

I applied for a job in the policeforce, the person who takes your call when you called 911 and deploys and guides units to you. A stressful and heavy job, working nights/mornings/daytime in a schedule and 40h a week. They just dont take anyone. I didnt write about the disorder since I didnt think I would get a callback.

​

They called back. I could be doing the tests to see if I make the cut next week, and if not the person encouraged me to reapply. I would love this job. I enjoy helping people, bringing order to chaos and I am one of those women who devours true crime. To actually have a hand in making a difference... I know I can do this for one day, but for the rest of my working life is another question.

​

My husband says go for it, disability can be paused if I want to try working full time. Dad says the same, brother and friends are supportive. But they always are regardless of how stupid Im being. What would you do? Am I being unreasonable thinking I could just stop being on disability and go for it? Where do you draw the line on what the disorder takes away from you?

​

Help...",3.2886816214088945,5.296890190082647,4.166269185360097,85.71767217630854,74.78512396694214,6.92357339630067,26.81306572215663,7.793537801064563,1.5868635970090517,974,37,190,14,21,313,134,242,0.11699999999999999,0.805,0.078,-0.8578,6,0,0,0,0,0,50.0,0,7,3,3,8,11,3,1,18,0,26,4,1,3,1,36,44,16,0,11,8,3,1,0,1,3,2,2,0,3,11,9,0,1,4,0,0,3,4,5,0,2,2,4,27,6,25,31,3,25,0,1,1,1,30,11,0,4,10,134,38,9,0.0,0.0,0.07629518727292105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06505439743928416,0.3388443576064397,0.3800028995094615,0.0,0.0819815390725081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054667269201922775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07345536474451582,0.06011778861402271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23950030521648605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18726794082975184,0.0,0.0,0.050421472779263635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08168444182351539,0.1792086477436886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09162972234970658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06040387888621599,0.0,0.040847314219557534,0.0,0.08886623505069989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07718938185737413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10480863772416084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1689017966458254,0.0,0.3103376742408898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04296725177690463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11044572352702496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07056307799505412,0.0,0.10437532399028884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08314835195568335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10595745021326017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054202146668781884,0.13653250452752633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08758268921552781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06676772994066353,0.0,0.12434828670495425,0.0,0.0,0.062301612091097726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06467366456264631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06536436655300593,0.08955819484787032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08872097595602453,0.0,0.0,0.2351351042527363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001928316284999,0.0,0.0,0.04558905076651448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05308102565644969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04611427280485012,0.0,0.12542713876378445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17075414610619388,0.0,0.0,0.16661656843996855,0.0,0.3800028995094615,0.0
bipolarreddit,safeharbor_,2020/01/02,"14 year old me would be proud of 24 year old me January 2, 2010 I was 14 years old, in my freshman year of high school. I was really just beginning to exhibit symptoms of bipolar disorder but would not be diagnosed until 4 years later. I felt lonely, worthless, stupid, uninteresting, and suicidal. I was self harming daily, sometimes multiple times a day. My parents marriage was not good for a long time - this is when it began really going downhill, so my home life was stressful. I’m sure many of you have similar stories - being a sad, lonely, misunderstood teenager.

January 2, 2020 I am 24 years old. I take medication daily and see a team of health care professionals to help manage the bipolar disorder and anxiety. I have not self harmed in over 2 years. I’ve adopted 2 cats and have an apartment of my own. I’ve been able to hold a job I enjoy for almost 2 years. I feel confident, stable, balanced, and dare I say....happy.

I’m overwhelmed with gratitude for everyone who has helped me feel this joy, and I’m overwhelmed with gratitude for my own damn self for making it through the dark, lonely, endless nights that had me toeing the edge and begging for an out. 

14 year old me did not think she would be here right now, let alone happy. She did not think this feeling of contentment existed in the cards for her, and she did not think she was strong enough to survive and make it happen for herself. 

If you are here in 2020, regardless of what your decade looked like, I am proud of you. You have dragged your brain, body, and heart through the last 10 years and I believe you can do it for another 10. Here’s to all of our past selves and the pride they feel, and to making our future selves just as proud.",4.319548192771084,5.827139665662648,4.943416867469882,83.27387228915666,71.01807228915663,8.324048192771086,28.340240963855425,8.841846274778883,2.175265397590361,1347,50,262,25,25,432,177,332,0.14800000000000002,0.6659999999999999,0.18600000000000005,0.9461,2,7,0,0,0,0,48.0,2,7,1,7,8,24,2,3,13,0,30,11,4,3,2,45,52,19,1,5,10,1,5,1,0,3,7,0,1,3,10,16,0,1,8,1,0,1,6,12,0,0,13,7,38,12,37,31,4,39,0,7,2,0,25,9,1,2,30,161,48,5,0.08189364827488127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08200465923430933,0.08481712178069699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08587263065494505,0.06264841677751175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09226609786092872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09096538163192552,0.0,0.09142039533034997,0.0,0.0,0.08349603234179014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052814628244812326,0.0,0.0,0.08312032915125088,0.0,0.0,0.18771443171193827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08461803022002795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07825289040184599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1656315567863643,0.0,0.07863074498289592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04654204755448012,0.06868850675514485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07241828271155076,0.17435462278962613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08704911859655991,0.0,0.09704436750827736,0.10978317238926967,0.08652513567570326,0.08214600641964723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08126680951559281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0667542535436614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08374180382549144,0.05784390565945637,0.04000909993915195,0.0,0.0,0.07247330168044694,0.06877003910853949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1639939384142515,0.08302730563437187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08249923498817863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07685164127809982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4296680393503169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09093320494938688,0.0,0.07817675373782675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10492633618319924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06993672816745651,0.0,0.06512511607854515,0.0,0.08288074414739788,0.06525863486869543,0.0,0.25629880647522785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08099491215902183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09380889740912116,0.0,0.0,0.08957835933574962,0.0,0.07718379432755798,0.0851188570754907,0.061573831712432275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574224292818716,0.0,0.0,0.09550568976071476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17452469427275985,0.0,0.0,0.527368245002966
bipolarreddit,ajay_sin,2020/01/02,"Tapering off Meds for weight loss? From the age of 17 till now 25, I have gained nearly 140 lbs of weight due to 5-6 hospital visits and therefore having increases to my medication. I dont have a clear head as well and feel foggy and sluggish most of my days. I currently take Invega Trinza with 750mg of Epival along with 1200 mg of Lithium. There are 3 epival pills and 4 lithium pills which I take on a daily basis. Thus far, all my experiences except my first hospitalization have been very good experiences where I am so productive and positive but led to the hospital because I attract the attention of my close family and friends. But I have a strong feeling that it is because of the withdrawal symptoms every time I come off the meds. Prior to my last hospitalization two years ago, I was only taking an invega sustenna injection once a month. The doctor told me that she would taper off the lithium and epival but it never happened. I figured I want to come off the lithium and epival on my own while sticking with the trinza injection once every three months. Will I experience weightloss and clear headedness if this happens? And should I experiment with letting go off all the pills while I still have a strong support group?  
Your response will be much appreciated thank you!",8.11264423076923,7.9534091041666715,8.228333333333335,68.95153846153848,62.125,11.21794871794872,35.544871794871796,10.727762888450028,3.8838525641025647,1035,41,176,23,13,338,146,240,0.037000000000000005,0.804,0.159,0.9848,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,2,0,5,6,9,0,0,16,0,18,9,1,3,5,39,32,19,0,4,5,0,4,0,1,4,6,0,0,0,6,18,2,0,4,0,0,7,2,1,1,3,3,4,25,8,30,23,6,36,0,1,0,0,7,11,0,2,18,126,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10522948532255393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14472934863498915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20451675999450555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07655829879114731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215049840653643,0.0,0.0,0.13912754378495076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2000370325249506,0.0,0.0,0.4644856625646047,0.11190947073753503,0.0,0.1200469513381351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10097488881558994,0.0,0.0,0.09171525449405436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06746577797558702,0.09956853618854447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20995018653065148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12183097744922115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967647081540826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12138928648449485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2637206811092814,0.11958810072447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895067982618582,0.0,0.08726570206769138,0.0,0.09155667285536273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2528451109986517,0.0,0.09028450407814513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09480216914227832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13471099933988714,0.0,0.12338541630057698,0.2677660316440402,0.0,0.0,0.10929246067401327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0692209088272207,0.0,0.0,0.11343274323328938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11596267738913565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09794839907789916,0.07001838862156602,0.0,0.0,0.2891142384928275,0.1067347827032078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08432836466337644,0.0,0.0,0.07644551711459939
bipolarreddit,BeerIsTheMindSpiller,2020/01/02,"Sad sack warning. Does anyone else think back to where they were a decade ago and feel depressed? I was graduating high school in 2010, top of my game creatively and academically, had lots of close friends and a boyfriend who loved me, I was thin and happy with myself. It all just kind of went to shit and I feel horrible thinking about it. I don't even want all these things but the comparisons of that year to this year make me feel unstable",4.045764119601326,5.9256662674418585,3.882823920265782,89.10686046511627,72.37209302325581,7.70498338870432,25.07641196013289,8.418075326091056,1.374403986710964,353,11,74,6,7,107,66,86,0.161,0.73,0.109,-0.5874,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,1,5,7,1,0,3,0,5,2,1,1,2,19,14,6,0,1,2,0,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,7,7,0,0,5,1,0,1,1,3,0,0,5,4,9,4,10,9,3,11,0,2,0,1,5,6,1,1,4,47,16,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19436552706974444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533154498315521,0.2246632904067088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1686015405341094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888529479903205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19188060909009472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18316808703557932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14482271362340146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.332601488524314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16940388642432996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23341207112974915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23166590939451806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22833114876838564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18641158259329926,0.19789556351079104,0.0,0.1463613418275728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22190826762948326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22507275864927687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14567017358252524,0.280992800175944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12932840037456705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20326120128329905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2823994278895075
bipolarreddit,violadrones,2020/01/03,"Weed I'm 22 years old and have started using weed a couple of months ago. Can't really tell if it's good or not (I do like it), but I'm pretty much a daily user by now. In passed episodes I've binged on alcohol, but other than that I don't do any drugs. 

I was wondering how your experiences with cannabis are. Please share, I'd love to know!

Edit: typo",0.23881578947368354,2.2057891973684214,2.709736842105261,92.55565789473684,84.65789473684211,5.905263157894738,17.394736842105264,7.1686216300943375,0.045110526315789816,273,6,63,4,8,94,62,76,0.02,0.75,0.23,0.9554,0,0,2,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,0,7,3,0,2,0,11,14,6,0,1,5,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,2,1,0,2,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,0,4,4,7,13,1,9,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,3,7,33,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21818841172686013,0.2630489884609305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16738375784743115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27234941927749035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2854444558375069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2407723193604463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20645069870251131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352722017177306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12025165529279537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22215111568996326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964667374237131,0.0,0.1809413480833401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2582827058687426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2701879949650485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25041304448356605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15768369732170345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17421928101496656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2151373598853006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2125860801337684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2669285175052627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15850620110652588
bipolarreddit,anoconmalundousrum,2020/01/03,"Bipolar and mentalism Apparently we have compromised mentalism, anybody have experience with this? I feel like I read people too well but it’s prolly bogus. I read something called intra psychic hyper mentalism and it sort of resonated",6.02,9.80520997435898,7.11866666666667,57.918000000000006,77.46153846153845,11.325128205128207,36.0051282051282,10.355215969177356,6.128134358974358,195,11,23,8,5,65,31,39,0.0,0.909,0.091,0.3182,1,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,7,3,3,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,2,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,16,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404885432089474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303801991590301,0.0,0.0,0.1190841517260708,0.16825293977859074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150614006175842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7120353122588935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16327739473305425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4711602025265403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18131200575114195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21175749848201766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,madchampagne,2020/01/03,"Do I need to tell my parents So I'm new here, in bipolar world, however I was in it for about 8 years but didn't knew. I just thought it's just who I am and my parents thought and still thinks the same way. All my huge break downs or impulsive stupid behaviour - just my personality. I have said them million times that maybe I need help, because it's just doesn't feel normal any more and I'm tired. But they didn't understand. So now, after my appointment to psychiatrist I finally know what is wrong with me. But I don't know if I need to say it to my parents, because I know they wouldn't believe.
Don't know what to do, I need some ideas or tips in this dilemma.

P.S. sorry for mistakes, not native speaker.",2.57377551020408,4.103342244897959,3.716751700680273,90.23390306122452,75.53061224489795,7.07687074829932,26.535714285714285,7.793537801064563,1.3207510204081632,558,21,124,8,12,181,88,147,0.139,0.815,0.045,-0.9261,4,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,3,0,10,3,1,0,1,0,12,2,0,0,1,36,29,11,0,8,11,3,1,0,0,1,2,3,0,1,9,4,0,0,11,0,0,0,7,3,0,1,7,4,21,0,14,21,4,15,0,0,0,0,12,6,0,4,7,81,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09930263998992972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1780321033929428,0.0,0.0,0.1645212180850883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07383509790588384,0.0,0.0,0.1599642688614112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978781029298104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16484550087743774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3210081293566109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14670267412180024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4331055078716184,0.0,0.14103275334853954,0.0,0.0,0.1430744073717908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4864335435059936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275042097826009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13890409923771202,0.11612568076006385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634640735587009,0.0,0.0,0.11661649650051027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12763309936288314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09356751981428343,0.0,0.2318565546748816,0.08514889421883251,0.16783532550207694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15201814323670065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11590858645851415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15965643115749178,0.0,0.09403591141142674
bipolarreddit,cleanandserene730,2020/01/03,Does anyone take an antidepressant along with Seroquel? Which one is it? I'm trying to figure out which one is most commonly prescribed in conjunction with Seroquel,6.113809523809523,9.588406571428571,5.3285714285714265,73.48309523809526,72.57142857142857,8.019047619047619,30.76190476190476,8.841846274778883,3.3191047619047613,136,6,19,3,3,41,23,28,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,4,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,15,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3445787233593001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43125448472618816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6678709849221374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3705258888142616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33458031327195625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,surrogateuterus,2020/01/03,"How old are y'all? I just am curious how high up in age this group gets. I wonder if it's realistic that when I'm 50 I can stop meds and be o.k. I take the meds because it allows me to not be a piece of shit to my family. My mom was a piece of shit to my sister and I. I don't want my kids to have that childhood. 

But when they are grown... And by 60 I should be able to retire with pension, is it ok to stop? Does it slow down??

Edit to add: I'm 35 diagnosed a year ago. I don't intend on getting off of meds before menopause at least...",-1.1906941838649168,0.4325701056910596,1.8186991869918718,98.87544090056286,87.78048780487805,5.085428392745467,15.965603502188866,6.297961479604792,-0.6914047529706071,405,8,108,4,13,143,83,123,0.11699999999999999,0.845,0.038,-0.8512,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,1,0,5,3,2,0,4,1,13,3,2,4,0,18,20,9,0,3,4,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,7,5,0,2,1,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,1,0,15,1,18,15,3,18,0,0,0,0,6,7,2,2,10,71,22,2,0.17999475127001846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15955448673903247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10972312972332296,0.0,0.15316227609093247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826908836793198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15751461979961714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16968303237474028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18807965705838384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19017433711436865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5998007752467959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21080767726368885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888742130816956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3695240511691909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3009673433863533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13533365233186992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061655678022558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19519662969030185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11591071845816192
bipolarreddit,Hippiechick5280,2020/01/03,Back on Seroquel - here come the crazy dreama Been off for years..but thia laat bout and overwhelming suicidal thoughts got me scared. Like what i ao bad about dying anyway? Dont have to pay bills or sit in traffic.  Yes im being glib...but im really trying not to harm myself.  Wish me luck i hope i can crawl outta this ..soon!,0.75,3.1522878636363667,2.109318181818182,94.6339772727273,87.03030303030305,5.118181818181818,15.825757575757574,6.6274283507984215,-0.3089333333333335,253,5,54,3,8,81,58,66,0.16899999999999998,0.598,0.23199999999999998,0.4475,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,5,7,0,2,1,1,5,0,0,0,0,8,10,2,2,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,2,1,2,4,0,0,3,0,6,3,7,6,0,7,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,3,3,28,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920193281151536,0.2085058369579767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2151117381964889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2591700185329653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29267007530720623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1997239612711706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2480283865346735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5394810796784484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12200061780867348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15997707844239764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25001336526650225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2731532375851906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19824985044122484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1695435430543638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28716576927789195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Dearth_Data,2020/01/03,Does anyone else absolutely loathe lithium? I can't stand it. My anxiety skyrocketed and my level of functioning dropped and I can't stand staying around people and it just blows. Also being in a php for dual diagnosis on bullshit reasons without a higher power sucks. All my love to this beautiful community.,4.078935064935067,7.373950400000004,5.925194805194807,66.57636363636365,81.36363636363636,8.233766233766234,31.493506493506487,8.841846274778883,3.886168831168831,252,13,35,7,7,86,45,55,0.145,0.691,0.16399999999999998,0.2998,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,3,2,1,0,2,0,3,1,0,1,1,8,5,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,5,1,7,4,1,8,0,0,0,1,1,4,1,0,0,26,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2603178080866393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2490215088584449,0.0,0.0,0.22761078696787146,0.3335331722174471,0.0,0.2897813485963511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2848642878904621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2719297532203948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2937940370499549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22567421857237224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.334688237466935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3469604506530289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31378915956205644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,isopodsarenice,2020/01/03,"I got diagnosed with BPD and ADHD, what are the chances of a misdiagnosis? I match the criteria for bipolar type 1 I don’t really know what to do with myself anymore I’m so tired of trying to find something to help me. I’m self aware as fuck and paranoid all the time, my mood is almost never stable I’m scared that I appear crazy to people I talk to.",2.367342342342344,3.8099398783783833,4.528108108108111,84.56531531531532,75.89189189189189,7.095495495495496,23.144144144144143,7.793537801064563,1.0722684684684691,277,8,58,4,6,96,54,74,0.17600000000000002,0.732,0.092,-0.7465,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,1,4,0,4,4,0,0,2,10,11,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,1,0,8,0,11,10,1,3,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,2,2,35,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2998408460097965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2498301536730777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24742897865276064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3142263831643681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2532290823364057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2280311267402465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23065129193348735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19954150776066976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672291982237406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13711425356830026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19242357621678333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1729663074770884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1598309348381165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2497849709573033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2602745210081228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19207109586303847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20053218266416886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14548076519285116,0.28675430026938736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16938866021298546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Kimty1013,2020/01/03,"All I want to do is sleep Yesterday was a major depression and anxiety day, and after sleeping 13 hrs last night I still am tired and want to sleep. Anyone else have this problem?",3.5124761904761925,5.518538914285713,4.46857142857143,83.80476190476192,74.14285714285714,8.095238095238095,25.952380952380953,8.841846274778883,2.06452380952381,142,5,27,3,3,46,29,35,0.285,0.65,0.065,-0.8697,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,5,4,3,0,1,7,7,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,3,6,2,6,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,17,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1764164667509708,0.0,0.0,0.16124828339268196,0.23628779721310264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14872474975393754,0.0,0.19862455943314605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19264555293846303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18797840642316951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21641241256654026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2206631857491816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6923313893262788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1841659115268398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2650529439234064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2720401965650914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,TheSongMagus,2020/01/03,"Just dignosed So I have just recently been diagnosed as bipolar, and I really dont think I believe it. Sure, I get episodes of mania, but it doesnt seem like I really get depressed, just lacking in mania. I was given lithium, 300 mg, and honestly I hate it when I am not on it. As in I hate the medication when I am not taking it. I love my episodes of mania, its me at close to 100% efficiency. I can wake up after four hours, workout, clean the house, take care of the kids, play video gamea AND work a twelve hour shift, no problem. Maybe I am delusional, that's why I am writing this. Thoughts?",3.159081726354452,4.3030479752066135,4.671515151515155,85.51616161616163,73.3801652892562,8.022405876951332,28.320477502295685,8.515128840125781,1.933241689623508,459,18,98,8,9,154,82,121,0.20600000000000002,0.65,0.14300000000000002,-0.893,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,1,6,10,2,0,4,0,10,5,1,0,1,17,22,9,0,2,6,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,1,1,8,4,0,0,3,3,0,0,5,4,0,1,4,0,16,6,12,18,1,12,0,1,0,1,3,6,0,1,7,65,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21056668342667506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19055192554038045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16097240412075206,0.1896945079556039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2190395677829276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1952898649544793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36904027221522456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3681078888523897,0.21565175639646675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09130746478269687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16868004954201588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1877611647859032,0.0,0.0,0.18827706708570915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1788332903663183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394594669811497,0.0,0.18453628191962615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1701422040202704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761463415342155,0.0,0.28104358654251616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11975478028349898,0.0,0.14837376697325336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1686436830131066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360617981484889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Bkind-rewind,2020/01/03,"Quitting weed - has that helped? I decided to quit weed. I used to be a casual smoker  (i.e. a few times a year), but 18 months ago I started vaping pretty much every day - I wasn't diagnosed yet, but I continued even after I got the diagnosis. Not proud of it, but it made me feel better in the moment so I honestly thought it was helping. Better than any meds.

Now I've read enough to know that it induces mania and makes the prognosis worse. I'm kicking myself for not quitting a year ago. I *never* want to experience a full-blown mania again.

The question is: have I done permanent damage? Or has anyone else here quit and experienced improvement on their condition?",2.774639423076924,5.26487790625,4.567187499999998,79.85521634615384,78.53125,8.000961538461539,24.68990384615385,8.841846274778883,2.234792548076924,524,19,95,13,13,177,91,128,0.085,0.716,0.19899999999999998,0.9404,0,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,1,7,6,6,0,0,9,0,8,1,0,4,1,19,18,7,0,1,6,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,6,2,0,0,4,1,0,0,6,2,12,5,10,11,3,17,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,2,15,63,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542300942761474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09751661007349828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002682982221408,0.14692978318112965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25365049406975104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09248084536208992,0.0,0.0,0.1455475227630311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467475249441133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11979192179158207,0.0,0.0,0.1481700662806751,0.0,0.09471404907258396,0.0,0.1208203040280362,0.0,0.0,0.14027227423682065,0.0,0.0,0.0725071201828754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11468971839649665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19223538868871928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07880864140184547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135688119648014,0.09572031185822204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15928457080130856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11446015116486785,0.0,0.10541516760126317,0.0,0.11059857177995903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458888934640814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16064031237636328,0.6100922831235612,0.14343835403288455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10149893820347426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138432232894716,0.08361742967326441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12385116781972348,0.0,0.0,0.08458076881095132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14613639045824844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846892148475421
bipolarreddit,cassannmi,2020/01/03,"I'm unstable and on the verge of losing it I've been in a depressive state for a few weeks now. I just can't take the constant mood swings and it seems I don't have any healthy coping mechanisms. I think I'm on the verge of actually losing it. When I get overwhelmed at any little thing, I have suicidal thoughts, but then I shake it off and can seem ""fine"" some time later. Over and over again. When I'm in these extreme states of distress I do things like hit myself in the head repeatedly, rock back and forth, argue/have conversations with myself, sob uncontrollably, stay in bed all day, and explode on the people I love and care about. My family thinks I'm crazy and I can't say they're wrong. I just don't know how to cope and I'm honestly afraid one day I'll end my life spontaneously when I'm overwhelmed. I'm just at a loss",2.3492054263565905,4.146943726744187,3.5633953488372114,89.93819379844963,76.84883720930233,7.144806201550387,21.93178294573644,8.021203637495839,0.8613545736434114,659,18,146,11,15,214,103,172,0.168,0.703,0.13,-0.4149,0,0,0,0,0,1,18.0,0,0,0,3,11,18,0,6,8,0,9,3,1,1,1,23,27,15,1,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,7,10,0,0,6,1,0,1,4,12,0,1,2,1,14,5,19,24,3,34,0,7,0,1,3,15,1,3,16,82,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.1702034592568597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23721577502754695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13411403721150553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17782727671245058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18848018664323304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22496593545690605,0.0,0.15022301228115026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15447953870875913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16442253268739024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09112441334799844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17899966589031965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09585368551530164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12319416778663785,0.08521014815137172,0.17480921799318022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39025057727647794,0.0,0.0,0.15741595767512412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11818782550347165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209171009591146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13870146536332553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31756094522767986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18590272342951747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1907812293144486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13113804935485876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2317465785729389,0.22351562589274032,0.0,0.13846568509658055,0.1017025375000469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13990484633008576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1906949506025082,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,DapperTangerine,2020/01/03,"Am I a bad person for being bipolar and wanting a normal life? I have bipolar 1, I experience episodes of severe depression and mania/irritability. Its ruined a lot of relationships for me. I get in moods where I just want to lay in bed and sleep for days, or I pick fights with people. I'm not good at saving money bc when I'm manic I spend too much, and I will just get annoyingly excited about things. I have things more under control now, but it is so hard to act like you're not mentally ill when you really are and sometimes things slip through the cracks. I've stayed in hospitals and have done out patient programs but I hate the way the mental health system treats people like me and have decided to value my own freedom more highly. So I quit all the programs and got a full time job I love, the only thing I still do is go to a psychiatrist to get medication. Was this a selfish move on my part? To stop intense treatment so I can live a happier life for myself? I'd really like to think I'm a normal person most of the time, but sometimes my illness is hard to control. My family has expressed that dealing with me is very hard on them and that they dont like having me around so much now that I'm out of the hospital.",5.196973333333332,5.261300484000003,6.344400000000004,79.26153333333336,68.16,9.226666666666668,29.46666666666667,9.029198982220553,2.2465466666666667,971,32,196,16,15,327,143,250,0.131,0.7190000000000001,0.15,0.8517,1,0,0,0,1,0,19.0,0,1,2,3,15,17,3,0,15,0,19,10,1,3,1,36,33,19,0,4,8,0,3,4,0,1,8,0,1,2,10,14,0,3,2,0,2,3,3,7,0,0,3,3,26,9,30,28,10,28,0,2,0,1,10,13,0,3,13,138,36,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09968709444322256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09349970431339014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511930898200796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07221867164134144,0.11544779861872564,0.09644932576011077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11459574441198625,0.13124124437876813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10953919456326454,0.10556599935427108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17551681518510406,0.0,0.06364155086489412,0.09392459778169733,0.08956167172872533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30093973630528226,0.11055834578573434,0.0,0.1190308806767118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11831438693691662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11112415682529236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15819140143936672,0.2188336184269204,0.0,0.09888153555355074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952024929784015,0.10106749126580357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11280937422594388,0.2257016152434227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190183952901542,0.16463827390862762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2194357874962417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0851668213279952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212648305713627,0.0,0.15526746113367906,0.1955554958898086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11910589185606113,0.0,0.0,0.1434761707347202,0.0,0.0,0.12022600357913706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12650698975076466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11206216709160403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22150472928515735,0.0,0.0,0.11935716145931098,0.08942840726973926,0.09362137726126044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2975815876829832,0.07175309257498166,0.0,0.0,0.13059438791725975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09239629644983473,0.13209893888868465,0.08888554009874951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mlixo,2020/01/04,"memory gaps I was recently in a car accident that ended in me having a concussion and very severe panic attacks almost every day for a few weeks. my memory was pretty bad because of that but I've also noticed that some of my newish medication is causing me to have vivid, very real, and sometimes fucked up and terrifying dreams (pretty sure it's the Seroquel causing this). I never really had dreams before taking the medication. with the mix of the more vivid dreams and terrible memory from the concussion, I have been filling in some situations I don't remember too well with situations from my dreams. is this something I should be worried about? can anyone who had a concussion on mood stabilizers or antipsychotics tell me if it gets better?",8.022573529411764,8.615457875000004,8.653235294117646,63.302058823529435,62.161764705882355,12.094117647058823,34.64705882352941,11.698219412168324,4.581149999999999,605,24,93,18,8,203,89,136,0.19399999999999998,0.6629999999999999,0.14300000000000002,-0.8019,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,4,9,2,1,9,0,14,3,0,2,2,19,17,8,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,8,6,0,0,1,4,0,2,2,5,1,0,5,2,11,3,15,10,4,12,0,0,2,1,2,5,1,5,5,72,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15093327498367787,0.0,0.0,0.12053789030048565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10539318947249778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17147594545979114,0.0,0.0,0.12585238089168052,0.0918829715284864,0.0,0.1282592384011257,0.0,0.0,0.13330751122383602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3096803125442704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972077060311696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13350111478996154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12699564488808504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13934648944055442,0.07874965751596502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30368712794319314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11625146170496155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17160591350052454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1768479515089492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3066910691299193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1715625487662149,0.0965608277629594,0.0,0.14882665829921565,0.0,0.17074652237346918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1702808150730491,0.0,0.0,0.3388513198678956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11603851297409006,0.14907478993659207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420602556281455,0.0,0.11332941518721648,0.0,0.13174374970977445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2487343458287265,0.0,0.0,0.12090567531275052,0.0,0.1355234317394986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15307256965383595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,timothyanne,2020/01/04,"Coming off high doses of seroquel Help! My son (20 yrs) is juvenile onset bi-polar and significantly austistic (thus why I'm asking). We just lost his long time provider, due to insurance issues (the providers, not us). Our pcp prescribed his meds for one month while we get into a new mental health provider. But insurance is dragging their feet on a prior authorization for his Seroquel. He's on 200 mg of lamictal, 100mg of sertraline and 1600 (!)mg of Seroquel xr a day. He's 6'7"", and 400pounds, and has been in this dose at least 5years. But now I'm out and still waiting for that dang prior authorization! The pcp has been following up, insurance is dragging their feet. I'm really terrified if him coming off this high a dose. Help!!",4.048788968824939,6.221829604316548,4.802320143884892,81.26352817745807,73.10071942446044,8.086570743405275,28.130095923261393,8.841846274778883,2.3611577937649884,581,23,107,12,12,187,92,139,0.057,0.904,0.039,-0.5205,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,4,0,2,1,3,1,0,0,6,0,7,6,2,1,0,18,17,9,0,1,5,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,11,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,1,3,0,11,0,17,14,1,25,0,1,0,0,16,11,1,1,11,59,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1952933565702967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3598978086550485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13472325676405494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10914165926519076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22205099506538584,0.0,0.0,0.2800426134519816,0.4414287653848044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21803738859505092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18486997930905086,0.0,0.0,0.2280390924301409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23204087340029514,0.0,0.21052212655968455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1667420347885167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20175697958907216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14155608696357175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13382672756301375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16682785768250905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12181130485685833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2512810508724712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.188499811733022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,vanished__,2020/01/04,"Missing hypomania I have bipolar I disorder and since a few months I am stuck in a depressive episode with lots of anxiety and panic attacks. I don’t enjoy anything anymore. It’s not as bad as it ever was, nevertheless it sucks ass. I am not sure if it’s a natural way in my cycling to experience this depression or if it’s due to medication, which I started taking in spring 2019 (lithium, seroquel). 

I often miss the feeling of my bipolar high. This beautiful feeling of being ONE with everything and truly understanding the reasons why came into this existence. Feeling the greater purpose of everything. Feeling a huge confidence in myself. Feeling witty and smart...my brain exploding with creativity and ideas. Listening to music feeling like ecstasy. Having a lot of energy and feeling fascinated by everything, even cleaning my house.

What I don’t miss is: my spending sprees and accumulating debt; sending nudes to guys or having sex just because I felt attractive af during these times; not being able to sleep because my brain doesn’t shut down; taking all kinds of drugs and going to parties.

So yeah...this rant doesn’t really go anywhere. I just wish I could have some balance and experience some hypomania/ mania symptoms without the negatives. Nice wish...
Thank you for reading.",4.772361717612807,7.852951554585153,5.908542576419219,69.69605986171764,74.93886462882097,8.707496360989811,34.86917758369724,9.2995712137729,4.186523871906841,1042,58,153,28,24,345,144,229,0.154,0.623,0.22399999999999998,0.9382,1,0,1,0,0,0,35.0,0,1,0,0,6,16,2,1,9,0,15,11,5,1,3,46,39,16,0,5,10,0,8,1,0,0,5,1,1,1,11,14,0,0,11,1,2,4,9,9,0,1,4,9,18,7,26,32,7,20,0,5,0,3,4,9,2,9,7,110,29,1,0.11315053510141182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08655984964594614,0.0,0.11221492636483167,0.0,0.0,0.0931132493380522,0.0,0.0,0.12872506861947255,0.0,0.0,0.09447597050867024,0.1379510319450477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2526268366037502,0.0,0.12941406850952095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09034149513563916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19491278016348548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12968031612885206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312186978002648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07473486128637041,0.10235113698961514,0.0,0.0,0.30507721488158296,0.22136587042918407,0.0,0.0,0.4004861723831572,0.08083476488499454,0.10864225807077986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12861211330647399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11203681925218473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119549752730103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305605256253834,0.0,0.1277331813990254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178288702346587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05527963599625663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19239307728358795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11398726007463443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903156775988736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07667373094358165,0.0,0.0,0.13275777329678393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11318115524316548,0.0,0.07248713017100493,0.11633759527926076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935992919012546,0.0,0.11323225106464713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08008853112738733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10664304025150187,0.11760673053646943,0.17015024127684322,0.0,0.0,0.10417381046755242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06597898695013273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11779369750851475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08981362803961368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10210075848912717,0.0,0.26023506243487743,0.10907307805149978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Notthisagain890,2020/01/04,"Inpatient retreats? Is there a such thing as a retreat for people with mental illnesses? Not looking for a hospital in patient facility. Something like a rehabilitation center I guess? I do use alcohol and marijuana but it’s not to the point I’m addicted to them. I don’t think I need to get treatment for just that but I do feel like it would be beneficial for me to get that intensive care. I really would like to avoid hospitals though, I recently got diagnosed with heart disease at 22. I’ve been in and out of hospitals and I’ve also been institutionalized in the past year so I would rather avoid that. I just hate being there.",2.210191256830601,4.996534172131149,4.50822950819672,77.22720765027324,84.327868852459,8.499234972677598,26.166120218579234,9.029198982220553,2.841942513661201,507,22,94,16,15,175,77,122,0.102,0.7509999999999999,0.147,0.6798,0,2,2,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,0,9,7,1,2,6,0,11,5,1,1,0,23,23,9,0,5,7,0,1,3,0,3,4,0,0,0,6,6,1,2,2,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,3,2,11,4,18,15,0,10,0,0,1,0,1,7,0,1,6,68,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2085224847356676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2044192174638686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529658505490425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19502182034978086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941442897884452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09671647504044836,0.1366498481511672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19987090054996348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529833933372877,0.0,0.21071552586178724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888485394878368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266666891270347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2803479619995473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16062629368509998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927643729464424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14183105064525162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1825975725478482,0.132608863929218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18082060401383893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12253830817562575,0.0,0.18886506404218614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14725601874464092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12707735407265472,0.12256394250672015,0.18793077330487512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652037531066599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4076376160454676,0.0,0.0,0.12317748790042995
bipolarreddit,LilyChickadee,2020/01/04,"At what point is it psychosis I’ve been under a lot of stress and I was drinking. I started becoming convinced that a serial killer was outside my window, what a dead body was in the bed next to me, that one of my family members was secretly a serial killer so I locked my door.

However, there was a part of me actively arguing against these delusions. It took effort to do so, but I was able to keep bringing myself back and think these thoughts are not real. Then they’d come back and I’d have to argue with them again. But I still had to keep turning the lights on and making sure there weren’t bodies. 

It terrified me but my psych said because I was aware it was not psychosis. And it obviously was a reaction to drinking and went away afterwards. But ice had lighter versions of that paranoia going on a month—things like evil spirits/serial killers and just obsessing on them.

I’ve also been very angry/irritable which I am never angry. I’ve seen that in my mom before psychosis.

I am terrified of psychosis. Just wanted others opinions on what I’m going through.",3.980531674208146,5.865779134615388,4.896187782805434,81.7517533936652,72.55769230769229,7.9710407239819006,29.062217194570128,8.671277953709913,2.3734334841628963,852,35,157,16,17,277,120,208,0.196,0.745,0.059000000000000004,-0.9865,2,0,2,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,3,1,11,8,3,2,9,0,21,4,2,1,3,30,38,15,1,1,8,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,16,9,2,2,3,2,0,6,4,5,0,1,19,3,20,3,23,18,3,25,0,0,1,0,8,10,0,2,10,117,36,1,0.1569166833396585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254862149742887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14742838937895786,0.24131848719876475,0.0,0.09565495371585774,0.1733021484309635,0.13352454006221612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3485981217126021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13516982834442284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3074372217352031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.147927083825445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17835873457662907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27894951607675045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07666156531192539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13340495278167944,0.0,0.0,0.10474310460723728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18377892302610252,0.12524939956923198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12102381979822426,0.0,0.16688267291268646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10633080566663672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699254766376878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14833698571032694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17860553907444152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14926369941493312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11106643611354708,0.0,0.12531386601259442,0.0,0.17974753059944704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14789211701496033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10054587466608196,0.0,0.1245743188080717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17434020890391458,0.0,0.17068029171361904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12947269739972747,0.09255352540480724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14546333753684182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,dazed_4_dayz,2020/01/04,"Sleeping after stopping seroquel Has anyone else had issues falling asleep after stopping seroquel? While taking seroquel for the past few years, my typical routine was to go to bed around 11pm and rarely staying up past 2 am. I have been off seroquel for almost 2 months and I still have trouble falling asleep. I am usually up untill at least 4 am, even if I take melatonin or valerian root. I don't feel manic and I still get 8-10 hours of sleep if I don't set an alarm. I am slightly depressed but that is normal for my winter situation. Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this and if they had any tips to improving sleep without starting seroquel again?",6.4230118110236205,7.197477472440943,6.675265748031496,75.47935531496064,65.61417322834646,8.55472440944882,35.56003937007874,8.472884824447931,3.0559141732283464,537,25,91,7,8,173,86,127,0.079,0.877,0.044000000000000004,0.1342,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,0,6,3,0,1,2,0,15,5,5,1,0,20,22,12,0,5,8,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,5,0,2,2,0,0,3,3,3,0,0,4,2,11,0,16,18,2,27,0,1,0,0,1,5,0,7,17,64,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15132173916157887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10276466899560237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21132888991494864,0.30967422929948346,0.0,0.13452607306693226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13015675817345626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2524775457633461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09981128235324603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07640924145949704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07895233927033783,0.0,0.08588321256188143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14881969904345035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15772677448624145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12062006194410252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480624696059952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28851634646303137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16986171884613066,0.4536780822754381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10696131438555607,0.16107050078264712,0.24136429129209586,0.2526809775812744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22724219303064594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16643390757897045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456712918596308,0.1638798238232776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09731432428055324
bipolarreddit,Jack88Attack,2020/01/04,"I think Lithium has caused more problems than it has helped for me My hypomanic symptoms are definitely more manageable now but my depression and anxiety are at an all time high so much that I’ve all but lost the ability to drive a car. I am getting a new pdoc this coming week and am strongly considering asking her to take me off of lithium and try something else. Anyone who has gone off of lithium, how difficult was it and what would you suggest replacing it with? I’m also on abilify, propranolol(which does zilch for my anxiety) and Prozac. I know I don’t have the right cocktail yet but any suggestions are welcomed so I can bring them up this week. Thank you in advance!",4.779538461538461,6.5281663384615385,5.364615384615386,79.75538461538464,70.23076923076923,9.2,32.230769230769226,9.642632912329526,3.1872923076923074,544,25,101,13,10,175,93,130,0.11199999999999999,0.789,0.099,-0.4192,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,1,3,6,7,0,0,5,0,13,2,0,2,2,18,24,12,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,8,7,1,0,2,1,0,6,1,4,0,0,3,0,14,3,14,20,5,20,0,2,0,0,10,8,0,0,6,73,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16808932165409038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14293679429144385,0.0,0.3215904191031209,0.0,0.0,0.14697013263821654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964998078648076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2159236134605858,0.0,0.18106056317954267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18103682861545195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839391829046399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1755872488799061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10981589672220413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408863074086836,0.22207787583621824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11551523946488275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294478349654376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15451425265155647,0.0,0.0,0.2030033607946419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2011239871555772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17950159699922966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16181496857910066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21846848115650747,0.15803714893952509,0.0,0.0,0.19351523544032767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13468162914310347,0.0,0.0,0.12256381077416904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14270559870999733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33720439103069416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14931334916875255,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,dontsweatitdear,2020/01/04,"commitment or committed i was wondering if theres any way to commit yourself. i always hope that ill get pulled over during a crying episode and i can just tell them that i need help and theyll force me to be committed. i dont think im  a danger to myself but i cant do this on my own anymore and i need help and guidance. Just someone to hold my hand till i can stand on my own. 
i dropped my therapist last year because i was diagnosed bipolar 1 but she thought i had bpd and yet she continued to encourage me to do things that resulted in me spiraling into a manic episode. My psychiatrist wasnt great either and even if she was i couldnt afford her now if i tried.
Does anybody know of discount mental health services or something?",2.6768307692307687,4.52718496,4.171333333333333,85.70746153846156,76.06666666666666,7.548717948717949,28.205128205128197,8.384062270229773,2.062497435897436,584,25,118,11,13,194,95,150,0.057999999999999996,0.775,0.168,0.9201,1,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,2,0,6,4,1,0,3,0,14,5,1,1,4,31,22,14,0,7,10,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,5,7,0,1,4,0,1,1,4,1,0,0,6,1,28,3,13,13,3,15,0,0,0,0,10,5,0,7,6,84,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15941181857045528,0.0,0.0,0.13028253170202148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18999815907842885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11678679014284404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2412911966099523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21044415741269104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944519988362332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1676549592902977,0.0,0.22453302543468068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265383004149282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10009384299556023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2112201589578565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2036430230832244,0.0,0.0,0.256827150802434,0.0,0.0,0.19028444901261632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20694175661420536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10528862020624633,0.15616514232956832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19306989489463575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28411169161930844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16232705867102934,0.14748941221378872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1674513720446744,0.0,0.0,0.22244181320073972,0.12727876536144264,0.12275820026255208,0.0,0.15209494399048712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300718039756968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15206911005940268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2077628289105035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1233727180952096
bipolarreddit,mysecretskill,2020/01/04,I aaaaam sad I am hypomanic I am I don't even know HAve totally been hypomanic the past few weeks. Now? I feel nothing. Absolutely nothing. I am nothing. What the fuck is going on? I didn't end up stopping my meds. Therapy stopped that. But what the fuck is wrong with me. Im still horny as all fuck but I am nothing.,-1.5887662337662327,-0.2501740757575721,1.4455411255411263,93.09545454545456,115.5151515151515,4.916017316017316,21.380952380952387,6.5431188927421005,0.8158043290043295,245,11,55,5,14,85,43,66,0.091,0.7879999999999999,0.121,0.204,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,3,5,3,0,3,0,10,3,0,0,2,9,16,3,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,2,2,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,2,1,10,0,4,14,3,10,0,1,0,3,0,2,3,0,7,38,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1509746038029214,0.0,0.0,0.11258546170642417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08618834990927607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4727551766376169,0.0,0.0,0.09687483129301697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18412317170651785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093678893105744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18933967159013448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6542336382141172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1627208132715401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13612744738811944,0.28501992815537863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19493281731530954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13673059177510127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18636833625396448,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,starboy905,2020/01/04,Bipolar and good reactions to SSRIs used with mood stabilizers? So I've read a lot about people diagnosed as bipolar taking SSRIs and having a manic episode/bad reaction to it but I was wondering if anyone (esp. Type 2 people who experience heavy depression) have been able to use an antidepressant in addition to mood stabilizers to treat their bipolar disorder. I currently am trying to combine Lamotrigine and Sertraline and was wondering about other experiences.,8.257692307692308,10.870210153846152,9.146666666666668,52.64000000000002,62.84615384615384,13.405128205128205,39.92307692307692,12.45797560212912,6.747446153846155,384,21,48,16,6,130,58,78,0.046,0.883,0.071,0.2382,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,0,3,5,0,0,3,0,6,4,0,2,0,13,11,8,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,3,2,11,8,1,2,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,4,1,34,6,2,0.2124171600515644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1485270172530287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17735945597235342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829545886944987,0.2155989461062457,0.0,0.0,0.24344846837879536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4155694843755374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1781654357873546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805894733663128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29452662593002554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21247464315180653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1597112687170338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14421730824642445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3669204497480114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4607146979330532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SammyGreen,2020/01/04,"TIL BP rapid cycling might be affected by moon phases. I feel like a warewolf! My pdoc told me yesterday that he‘s considering changing my dx from BP2 to rapid cycling. So I’ve been reading up on it and came across [this article.](https://whyy.org/segments/could-the-moon-really-be-affecting-our-moods/).

Also found a heavier [paper here](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6089884/).

Thought I’d share since I find it pretty neat that there may be a correlation. I mean, how wild a concept is this:

>	The nature of the mechanism that makes it possible for an object as small as the human body to be affected by the minute changes in gravity that are associated with lunar tidal cycles is unclear",8.27579268292683,9.761928398373989,7.386737804878049,69.48791158536586,61.764227642276424,10.702845528455283,35.70020325203252,10.686352973137794,4.168220325203252,575,25,89,14,8,177,94,123,0.08,0.8220000000000001,0.098,0.4574,0,0,0,0,0,0,44.0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,9,0,9,2,1,4,0,15,16,7,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,9,3,0,0,5,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,1,6,3,15,6,0,8,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,3,3,53,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18049964064794544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2507121428141159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2581513023831609,0.0,0.0,0.4775410095603028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18021050490960705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11412540071445505,0.1612467645382984,0.0,0.0,0.20629420539897772,0.0,0.0,0.2474785905216232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11027015989881217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15066270622498434,0.0,0.0,0.2458635898168671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23944189210173264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544533152340189,0.0,0.22962749567743845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22577037386862106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18670906018747774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17918796724745178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21567490271661147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,rock_out_w_sox_out,2020/01/04,"How much can I tell my drs before I get committed? I’ve been having thoughts like I don’t want to wake up in the morning or that I’m disappointed when I do wake up. I know something  isn’t right because healthy brains don’t think those thoughts. I feel like I need a tweak in my meds but I don’t want to get put in the hospital. I’ve belt this way before and I tried to hint something at my doctor but he didn’t/wouldn’t bite. How much can I say to him before I get hospitalized?

These bad times are usually episodic, in that they happen when I’m on break from school and I don’t have a lot of work going on. So school is almost back in so if the pattern holds, I’ll be fine soon. But this is awful now.",1.0413345864661636,2.749828434210528,2.6956015037593986,95.07421052631581,80.44736842105263,5.658646616541352,20.72556390977444,6.5431188927421005,0.0600511278195488,550,15,130,5,14,181,90,152,0.077,0.8370000000000001,0.086,-0.6662,0,0,2,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,1,9,5,0,0,5,1,15,5,3,2,1,21,30,13,0,4,5,0,1,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,6,2,0,1,5,0,0,2,5,2,0,0,3,2,17,3,16,26,3,22,0,1,0,0,5,11,0,4,9,78,23,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1607025261505797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12340304400162196,0.13399825541150645,0.09783015465904618,0.0,0.4096826948618051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.179154314016407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16426317806402144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08114602826946958,0.11465050226919367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2515403359069189,0.0,0.09120731290224182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14191633841170825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08819834834073308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.156809710308331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13643859158285127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17826263479412036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23594985288695125,0.11899757968158893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16133173183951172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370532966316438,0.0,0.12762409803775202,0.0,0.32483873667885965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2470983574392018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14027094678227825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10283229552471346,0.0,0.25481429663832644,0.0935800828246054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10895876737565477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1767515330794166,0.0,0.18931639926330734,0.1273855077083514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11683497730701625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,FluX-Byn,2020/01/04,"Has anyone else tried fasting and seen benefits with bipolar disorder? I'm currently on day 3 of a fast and throughout it I have also noticed profound mood stabilizing effects, calmness, and clearing of mind throughout which is expected, but even the residual depression that I usually need to take adderall for has been reduced if not gone altogether. I'm wondering if anyone has experienced this while fasting also. I do know bipolar and seizures may be related since many mood stabilizing drugs are anticonvulsants and used for BP, and a ketogenic diet Is also used for those with seizures also (fasting induced ketosi and autophagy) with benefits, it seems in my experience fasting has helped as a side bonus with my BP 1 disorder. I honestly haven't felt this well in as long as I can remember.",10.354194528875382,9.836020042553194,10.091246200607902,58.59000000000002,57.794326241134755,13.730901722391085,47.80243161094225,12.785403640627713,6.598630395136781,650,39,96,20,7,213,92,141,0.07,0.802,0.127,0.8132,1,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,2,6,9,0,0,4,0,14,4,0,4,1,29,26,18,0,4,4,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,7,11,1,0,7,0,1,1,2,1,1,0,4,3,7,6,16,20,0,15,0,1,1,0,1,4,0,5,10,66,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5093590330169678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22268090532554,0.16315454494686188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10269306817632833,0.0,0.13714842658742618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3649930251164509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18466144628446168,0.0,0.1330199777408082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10517287402147908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15576187874419442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15289007465610935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10673151720889232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08751110732905433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14091750633811914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16143877257802894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16078143483924992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180703512403968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812895139086992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18038162794775975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14496109258573656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13172040954099676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11972451398526443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10810976130092384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27505493425868743,0.17537428617293266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14317092320491262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17268300395769065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,unadmittedlyaswiftie,2020/01/04,Manic episode displayed through food choices? I am on meds for bipolar but I haven’t really gotten a handle on how my manic episodes work or if I have them. A couple times I told my psych I think I’m having an episode and he said I probably wouldn’t be sleeping normally. I said I’m on the meds so I guess they’re working and he said if I was in an episode I still wouldn’t be sleeping. (I was thinking what’s the point of the meds then and why am I on them if you don’t think I have manic episodes?) anyway this past couple weeks I’ve had a sudden obsession with cheese. I’ve gone shopping for all kinds of new cheeses I’ve never had before. I’m trying blue cheese with every meal and trying to find new recipes to incorporate it. I even signed my husband and myself up for a cheese cave tour next month. Some people have said trying blue cheese can change your life but I know that’s an overstatement. I’m reminding myself  of the show Russian Doll where the mom is mentally ill and she stocks her entire car with watermelons. Is this a manic episode?,2.0470941306755246,4.227020455813953,3.0019269102990047,91.77542635658916,79.32558139534882,5.769656699889258,22.79623477297896,6.868970318607317,0.6139723145071979,838,27,175,9,21,266,120,215,0.053,0.9470000000000001,0.0,-0.8747,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,2,2,2,6,2,0,1,13,0,19,7,2,1,2,29,35,15,0,6,6,2,0,0,0,2,3,4,0,0,5,9,2,0,5,2,1,2,5,1,0,0,11,6,26,1,18,20,2,21,0,0,2,0,15,8,0,6,11,103,31,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10208321674825864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12690934768894604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2654827603825027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07923717742227776,0.0,0.1010775060323568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10964781040815587,0.0,0.14506476548156833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13215735142267518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12492733559074527,0.06593081345705297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08473635261568631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3997694086822019,0.0,0.12089868021383647,0.0,0.0,0.14050408729581507,0.09575664217122602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09252606915858096,0.23173006044410646,0.12758643514170948,0.0,0.1175423448847144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11452222832389596,0.08317012313345411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11340774255425155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293448885276289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07685403431984622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4564649636065903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401075967252682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09580592855639307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2306103352664237,0.0,0.0,0.06995381546340353,0.0,0.0,0.11463376199603938,0.0,0.24434947937807425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09623041905523876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10825170176408057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17467504185745344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,biplural,2020/01/04,Lamictal induced mania I just finally came down from a month and a half long bout of mania that was fueled by my Lamictal. I'm Bipolar 2 and that was the longest bout of mania I have ever experienced; it was awful. I was very close to being hospitalized again. They completely took me off of my Lamictal and now I'm just taking Lithium. I would like for that to never happen again but also I am worried about not having medication to combat depressive episodes. Has anyone else dealt with this? Were you able to find a decent medication to replace it?,4.9145,6.64030124761905,6.385892857142861,72.65598214285714,69.85714285714286,9.05952380952381,29.315476190476193,9.516144504307137,2.9576904761904763,441,17,74,10,8,150,73,105,0.114,0.8690000000000001,0.017,-0.8723,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,1,0,8,2,0,0,4,1,11,3,0,1,2,15,17,5,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,6,6,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,1,0,1,7,1,10,1,15,8,0,13,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,9,60,16,0,0.2182665448266905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17454767704037372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15261704309276716,0.22363986872187516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2496387804107283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22884831955599086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18799265523012734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18233369085139475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19743458579125914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2391003310732144,0.1994916677397338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1930123847539085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10663400873328732,0.0,0.0,0.19315902372401011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4397611622155093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17421827369636106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16834061507601525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16410927810301146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2425021623701601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18009275820379222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2216602711817184,0.0,0.1550502910717753,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bbykatt,2020/01/04,"When your insides explode with emotion, what do you do to cope? That feeling when your body is max capacity with pain mixed with mania. Self harming always helped me calm the feelings but I’m sick of self harming. I gave my tools to someone tonight which is a huge step. What do you guys do to cope with this?",2.4933333333333323,4.808375737704921,2.689754098360656,93.88632513661207,78.50819672131148,4.722404371584699,26.560109289617486,5.46131890053228,0.5879814207650269,244,10,50,1,6,74,44,61,0.19899999999999998,0.718,0.08199999999999999,-0.8836,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,4,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,0,6,3,1,0,0,7,10,3,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,5,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,1,2,7,1,8,9,0,5,0,0,0,0,9,1,0,0,3,31,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24174482086095536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.322714118291754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32680793926330626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2938021082893065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2876710755643672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1947366077362812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3091451545327428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6061737763460954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24616572391695102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,callithetrashcan,2020/01/04,"How to talk to parents So I’m a teen and although I’m not diagnosed bipolar and would NEVER self diagnose I’ve really been struggling and people on here I can relate to what there going through. I just need some help with how to bring it up with my parents that I need some help, like going to a psychiatrist or someone who can help. 
How did you reach out?",2.9126484018264835,4.561855630136988,4.1878767123287695,86.70775114155255,74.89041095890411,7.0584474885844735,25.865296803652967,7.793537801064563,1.3981707762557072,283,10,58,4,6,93,50,73,0.042,0.8,0.159,0.7665,2,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,7,2,0,1,2,0,5,3,0,3,1,18,12,9,0,3,3,2,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,1,4,6,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,2,0,5,1,11,9,2,7,0,0,0,0,9,3,0,3,2,43,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4292760490830996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403670256655173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4252324940868449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103313765264316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3136052732977278,0.16309902438268634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4696257503998241,0.0,0.0,0.1466069623859756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13547336584629913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22060976769432508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1791782003338183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22107479778345634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699719129687596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15022251874652404,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Superb_Literature,2020/01/04,"Concerns about the topic of recent posts I looked under ""Report a post"" but this doesn't fit any of the criteria. The last 3 posts I have seen come up here have all asked for people's experiences using drugs. One asked if anyone smokes meth and how that affects them. I'm not sure of the rules so if this doesn't go here please let me know, but I feel that discussions of the use of specific drugs is not what this sub is for.  Thanks.",4.085767790262175,4.799031528089892,4.3815168539325855,90.06905430711613,70.79775280898878,7.731086142322098,21.5749063670412,7.793537801064563,0.5568187265917603,342,6,76,4,6,107,63,89,0.086,0.87,0.044000000000000004,-0.4021,0,0,4,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,0,5,2,0,0,6,0,7,2,0,4,2,16,19,7,0,2,6,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,2,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,1,3,5,2,10,17,1,10,0,0,2,0,4,3,0,2,2,47,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223035887504359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12575470682608858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3362693533147984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15492411710928272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4171358295069869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17592697826983678,0.0,0.0,0.090937133701029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022124161192414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09884038894222516,0.14660106074936266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839079402161602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15102798916765578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12187043803479168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12468475493993722,0.0,0.0,0.19742035814269587,0.0,0.0,0.5167373101290548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17757933767824866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16950569469973598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16558093309396646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31066384042406825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,milkymike85,2020/01/04,Getting evaluated tommorow So anyone in here use meth and weed to cope? I have for about 10 months curious to anyone's exepricne,3.17625,6.225134125000004,4.738333333333333,75.34,82.75,8.200000000000001,28.83333333333333,8.841846274778883,3.2671833333333336,105,5,17,3,3,35,22,24,0.0,0.9009999999999999,0.099,0.3182,0,0,1,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,5,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,10,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.735854795416143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2749148849680809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4200033939547115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4544630624732625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,d0---0b,2020/01/04,"To cope with my ongoing S.A.D.B.S mania since Xmas day I started a Podcast reading the books I wrote while psychotic, coming out of, and in remission. It includes scientific designs and YA Fantasy novels. 30+ episodes in eight days. Still riding the mania atm. [Please check out Divergent Mind: Insanity and Innovation.](https://Anchor.fm/DivergentMind)

​

and thanks for listening If you do. It means the world to me.",7.253354037267081,10.852488579710148,6.381821946169777,66.86478260869569,69.0,9.739958592132506,35.944099378881994,9.957137785484203,4.6861577639751575,348,18,48,10,7,106,58,69,0.054000000000000006,0.904,0.042,-0.2023,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,12,7,6,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,8,0,0,1,4,2,2,0,0,0,1,1,1,6,1,9,6,0,12,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,1,5,30,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2936444758158229,0.3293127057601858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23345529524052025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34956431439417346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2952146214404174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27364773998372593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2974929201254152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2710881896084395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22418628379988365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918257051280065,0.0,0.21643280860841835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2495140610960216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3293127057601858,0.0
bipolarreddit,inkishworks,2020/01/04,"DEA have auditory hallucinations of guitar solos? This is really weird, but it’s been happening for a few weeks now. Every few days, when I lie down to go to sleep, I start hearing sweet rock music, specifically really intricate guitar solos. It’s good music, so that’s cool, but I can’t sleep because I’m hearing it. It’s not very loud, but it is distracting. I know there isn’t anything playing because my boyfriend can’t hear anything. Is this a symptom of bipolar?",4.518904761904763,6.266678922222222,5.944285714285716,75.34500000000001,70.8888888888889,8.6984126984127,30.63492063492064,9.23628265651192,2.902492063492064,373,16,66,8,7,126,58,90,0.048,0.772,0.18,0.9156,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,1,2,1,8,4,2,0,0,5,16,5,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,8,0,0,0,1,4,0,1,4,2,0,0,1,6,5,4,6,15,2,7,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,5,39,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31432200090677914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.232840356750402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12316687507308452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16090963738760675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10853884136449027,0.16018571012660002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16888377095822887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6457480318005421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10495810296949976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2446944979078209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.382237629712635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13517725743976192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985022707569747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575792359982695,0.0,0.0,0.15319335076272128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,quadcubed,2020/01/04,"What should I do? Ever since I started my medications, Lamictal and Abilify, it feels like I’ve lost my ability to feel any emotions, I fell out of love with someone I had been in love with for a long time, and I don’t think I can feel romantic attraction anymore. The thing is if I don’t take my medication, I rapidly cycle between major depression and hypomania, which ends up being detrimental to my health. Three of my best friends say they want to hang out and do things but ever since I was diagnosed a few months ago, they flake on the plans last minute. It doesn’t feel like they want to be around me anymore even though they still talk to me over text. The one I previously mentioned whom I loved has mannerisms that confuse me and get on my nerves occasionally, but I always just brushed them off since I loved her and they weren’t causing any actual harm. Now those habits are getting in my head and I’m beginning to wonder if she sees me as a friend, a pet project that she has to keep emotionally stable and “mom” all the time, or a potential romantic partner. What should I do? Should I talk to my friends about my concerns? I feel I’m too passive to be able to do so effectively. Should I just keep dealing with it? Should I keep taking my meds and deal with the cycles in exchange for emotions again or should I just stay nearly emotionless for the foreseeable future?",6.724,6.4668522888888935,6.77,78.58500000000002,65.0,10.45925925925926,33.55555555555556,10.047579312681364,3.0764888888888886,1098,42,219,22,15,351,152,270,0.045,0.7559999999999999,0.19899999999999998,0.9918,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,6,4,14,15,0,1,11,0,25,9,1,2,3,49,51,18,0,10,9,1,5,2,4,6,4,1,1,1,12,16,0,3,8,0,1,2,4,4,0,2,5,8,42,11,34,37,4,30,0,2,1,4,25,12,0,6,17,156,54,1,0.09759909058382264,0.0,0.09524263357173583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08651570501040512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08121026186587395,0.0,0.0,0.13274145682484664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19358414440236335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08688388282841898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024242241823418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10026115093641402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20124075366046976,0.08406195370649806,0.09906102249786293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3293575212850355,0.0864438253124174,0.0,0.0,0.06446327885166912,0.17656793017290906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2467451636186641,0.13944961962860658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22621444584014794,0.0,0.10198299315227373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10016482427731717,0.1037432693513725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26025166835470065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07955628520291022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09536397147753436,0.0,0.0,0.08637212390241263,0.0,0.0,0.10654093660627988,0.0,0.3523479590992267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10841058749863304,0.196641631636211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11430687530526405,0.07790266295436901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0661356696639157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07761471417291192,0.0,0.0,0.07777383899845125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24220492887633424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08269539273065285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06908113865499205,0.10402764459014184,0.07794275981412566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14676473952468913,0.15689290404686576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12968099802963515,0.06253755636756098,0.09589061096095657,0.0,0.113821629181045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11513294466316208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10584205043968947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,drippingingoldd,2020/01/05,"Why do we do this to ourselves? Ranting.. I always end up not refilling my prescription. Things go well for a week or two, but I never go too long before the dread starts to sink in bit by bit. The absolute fucking dread of going to work, dealing with people, trying to still create a future for myself, shit I did while manic, it all slowly dials up in intensity; hardly noticeable at first, but grows into something unbearable and entirely consuming. Irritation and rage soon follows dread, sometimes it just tags along from the get go. I realize I'm snapping at everyone and my patience has worn incredibly thin, I can't stand to be around anyone. The pit in my stomach at this point threatens to collapse inward and become a black hole. Everything becomes too much. This hatred of the world morphs into self hatred and suicidality. The negative self talk becomes rampant, I can't stand the person I've become and the future feels very bleak. The intrusive thoughts of things I want to do to myself are the most unnerving part. Thankfully I have alcohol, cannabis, and Klonopin to quell me while I wait out the storm. 

Why do we do this to ourselves? Why am I so resistant to medication/help? I get on a really good track of attending therapy and taking meds, but I inevitably decide to hell with it and end up in this situation. 

Tldr: crybaby ranting about medication non-compliance and its (shitty) effects",6.256201550387597,7.751062217054264,6.876744186046512,71.28899224806204,66.36434108527132,10.074418604651164,33.32558139534884,10.25414643259724,3.7654093023255824,1124,49,183,28,18,369,160,258,0.20800000000000002,0.745,0.048,-0.995,0,0,2,0,0,0,35.0,2,0,0,3,9,10,4,3,15,0,13,5,2,1,2,35,30,17,1,1,6,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,11,19,1,1,5,0,0,7,5,7,1,2,3,4,20,3,39,26,6,40,1,0,1,1,7,18,3,2,13,130,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11847404235990408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922431683254584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07751485392809132,0.0,0.0,0.0986875850954382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4897380971757221,0.09433243437599782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.242057580831752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11429026509299665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963754861955592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10593006544290348,0.0996324884914052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0560533980268659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09429619945210213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024869142725348,0.1158380011040495,0.0,0.2520138038595185,0.09298286591566164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09930745800514676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07430612834877824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981063006164936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12313882311344305,0.11167829477492472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08149376685654011,0.0,0.08550092390304466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12621315840964256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12004897276759655,0.0,0.07685533854088752,0.09679738259649004,0.0,0.0,0.10479713289806257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07101880583255865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312992248885968,0.0,0.1137946764599375,0.0,0.12460961991170673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08534430382303478,0.1096419097299568,0.0,0.0784662301864157,0.0,0.08853175630882194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212612264924087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08335180961845225,0.08910387815869461,0.0,0.10206362979165387,0.12677637765399888,0.0,0.14729894787948966,0.0,0.0,0.08800928090388074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07526565731525962,0.0,0.10829266448667216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09146988804643938,0.06538722662851405,0.0,0.08892401689191409,0.0,0.09967512196660656,0.0,0.3000977108097765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08070632199892926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,AvatarofPolarity,2020/01/05,"Starting over, again. TL:DR - This a a hard time of year for many people. I am no different, I need to get some overly negative emotions and thoughts out of my head today. Thanks to this community for providing some sense of tribe, a feeling of inclusion.

 Just lost another job thanks to a blossoming manic episode.  Would have been a severe episode but I locked it down with meds once I realized what was happening. Didn't realize fast enough I guess. Now I get to be worried about money on top of loneliness and self-loathing.

 Spent Thanksgiving through New Year's alone, including my birthday. One of the two friends I still have started seeing a new girl and has essentially disappeared out of my life. Other friend works weird and long hours, so I can go a month or two without being able to see them. I have reached out to all of my old friends and acquaintances without much luck.  I have one sibling worth a damn but they live very far away, and I have an elderly parent with their own severe mental health issues.  

 Aside from my pdoc, that is my support network.  It doesn't seem like enough, and I'm scared.  The vast majority of the time I don't feel secure, and I often don't feel safe.  Every gain I make in my mental health seems to fall apart before I can build on it.  I fight my way back out of the benzos and sedatives, just to relapse into crippling depression in a month or two. I fight to stay employed, simply so that I can watch myself lose more ground every year.  I hold no hope of things improving for me, and I'm not sure how long I can sustain the effort of living a life without hope for myself.

 I am not alone like some of us are, but I don't feel blessed either.  Every time I reach out and get weak or no responses, I pull a little further into myself.  This entire holiday season I have had an increasingly strong desire to just...let...go.  I'm not talking about ending things, but about just letting myself give up, stop caring, and drifting away into a meaningless life alone in my apartment with my cat until they come and evict me.  Asking new people to let me into their lives feels like I am being selfish. I have gotten to the point where I feel that I have nothing to offer anyone, that they cannot find somewhere else better and with less bullshit.  

 I'm tired of hearing about mindfulness and meditation. About attitude and aspirations. About finding the right mix of meds and therapists. You know what I want to hear? That pay in this country is no longer a sick joke relative to cost of living. That the healthcare system here would see me as more than a cost to minimized. That mental health is not a reason to be shunned and avoided by others. That I don't have to constantly put on a performance for others that says everything is OK!  That people want to actually help instead of silently but openly hoping I just go away and suffer somewhere else so that they didn't have to be uncomfortable.  That friendship where I live means more than exchanging memes over facebook.

There was a thread on the front page that said something like this:
""It takes a village to raise a child. A child not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth"".
I feel like there are a lot of us standing outside, looking at the book of matches in their hands and dreaming of warmth.",5.360773365511188,6.411580794025159,5.392208571010674,82.7469701623519,68.10377358490567,8.243323094924675,29.25610647945005,8.428315365350997,2.044545531665936,2619,92,497,37,43,820,313,636,0.184,0.6920000000000001,0.125,-0.9898,5,4,1,0,2,0,70.0,2,1,8,9,25,36,3,2,34,1,46,11,2,3,2,99,97,34,0,9,21,1,10,5,3,3,9,4,0,3,31,35,0,5,18,4,7,10,21,12,0,5,11,19,63,24,96,76,17,83,1,4,5,0,29,41,1,15,33,346,94,5,0.06050442608417279,0.0,0.059043591989762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1879930147290744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06344416622734866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04230610151603121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05656347089155118,0.0,0.1705376999699823,0.046524168943392084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05148481023608095,0.0,0.0,0.05351124803141815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06168829480143057,0.0,0.0,0.05211920564349888,0.0,0.06538379000583519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052112373528294,0.0,0.0,0.06321424754731375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010873684698892,0.06805933567158277,0.05358896284547175,0.12503449199506073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15293276553124452,0.0,0.05437747681653908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447428462620064,0.08644874816777802,0.0,0.0,0.11059989862167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14023670851474102,0.0,0.09483319620265826,0.058041358722980836,0.103158179006045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06665244666102824,0.0,0.05350386416729831,0.0,0.054200081490990114,0.0,0.062094996689709164,0.1929401268388755,0.13638577104921829,0.0,0.04055484142565632,0.0,0.0,0.18028364130577526,0.05958467200439373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06315090128847622,0.060041306902441374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03325165024842075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18560962491405467,0.12820819641512726,0.14779703194058308,0.06064133001939979,0.2671325836239833,0.1070890262424791,0.05080847948160765,0.0676889763553757,0.06604772836788787,0.05143869939801171,0.0,0.0,0.04038717423575364,0.0613419915041654,0.0,0.0659070574859688,0.1344135552660573,0.0,0.18292269209987005,0.0,0.061092222471958085,0.0,0.09658811130898216,0.0,0.04447771490035831,0.04486326529261496,0.0,0.17530665521711092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058055628641159124,0.0,0.06348921723536534,0.06443523912879348,0.08199872996298016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06718300495039327,0.0,0.0,0.12583845248715916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05719623940835075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06082365964921267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06220862701246399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05167044928531599,0.0575535645802075,0.0481155480919771,0.06057548559272771,0.0,0.14464258216389966,0.11016191423941704,0.06311931193080722,0.1367055591498691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046579263178406716,0.0,0.0,0.08565068839389901,0.0644896678356766,0.048318912827573744,0.05058440941522795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06865970571043123,0.057024705543862235,0.0,0.045491798546565036,0.04863116581953199,0.0,0.11140869302459017,0.0,0.07025030206195762,0.08039290440997575,0.0,0.0,0.048033755900856484,0.10584185224016047,0.06954093722312123,0.05735112133094651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1773120979418249,0.0,0.1455587497315329,0.0,0.0,0.049922488055547824,0.07137415624014115,0.048025597176397185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17497232291898815,0.0,0.04404794279351455,0.06144518164321065,0.0,0.08596121666681124,0.0,0.0,0.11688860004802908
bipolarreddit,YouEnjoyMyself46,2020/01/05,"Bipolar 1 and medication So in was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 about 7 years ago following a manic episode. Since then I have been taking 325mg of lamictal everyday an have never stopped for more than a few days because of running out. I have been in a mostly depressive state and had no extreme manic episodes since starting these. I can't handle it anymore and need to feel good again. 

After reading quite a bit of literature it seems to be widely accepted that people who have only experienced 1 manic episode may be able to stop taking medication in as little as 6 months, again I've been taking this dosage for about 6 years.  I believe that I should be able to manage symptoms by continuing to see my counselor, using CBT and mindfulness strategies along with daily excercise. I should add I was about 34 years old before being diagnosed so I was able to manage without even knowing that some of my feelings and behaviors were ""abnormal"". 

My question is how do I express this to my psychiatrist? Due to the way my prescription is I can't taper down without her changing the dosage. Also, I'm diagnosed ADD and need her to continue prescribing me my Adderall and fear she may not continue this script if I choose to go of the lamictal. Without the adderall, focusing is extremely difficult and I believe I won't be able to do my job. 

Any advice or experiences from people who have been in this situation would be appreciated!",7.781741854636593,7.929044116541357,8.227503759398497,67.66047869674186,62.721804511278194,11.454235588972432,38.785964912280704,11.072351349416056,4.594411829573937,1149,56,190,29,15,381,151,266,0.053,0.907,0.04,-0.5137,1,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,1,10,5,0,1,9,0,33,8,0,2,1,42,48,17,0,6,6,0,2,0,0,6,8,0,0,0,12,14,0,2,7,1,0,3,9,3,0,0,9,4,24,2,39,27,5,33,0,1,1,0,7,8,0,8,20,142,36,4,0.4213010404424166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10292262519133083,0.0933644881255032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08422857245748176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.071624788632277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10445435628806604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06420530096970405,0.0,0.08962403878216142,0.2373310009092244,0.0,0.0,0.11498790503757547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11142015956591544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06792607942997132,0.0,0.09071649219864787,0.3207087657988659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06956634095686808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10302831472103748,0.0,0.11852019978976365,0.10651123236378623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059858772542428086,0.0883418310576555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1045190687055289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05788400846327329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10556358056947256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2122082375641572,0.0,0.0,0.10634848785512377,0.0,0.08406961775868911,0.0,0.0,0.15619469160097607,0.08123333369362175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105211428702858,0.0,0.0,0.08010460645210675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14603854734734315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11798839614203188,0.11202637887015704,0.10535376262181134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08393059580075538,0.0958841610645723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17425228712939594,0.1183900053197272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07454976121242432,0.0,0.0,0.1761132672108386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10947327357673996,0.23757446313846856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09096720764044636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08360228898847984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3045893766178513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07482004285323086,0.0,0.0,0.2034780428607938
bipolarreddit,Becanotbecca,2020/01/05,"A gwt a little/weirdly depressed if I have to leave the house Everytime I need to leave my house, I've noticed I get very blue and drained of energy, and I don't quite get why. 
Out of Bipolar I also have been diagnosed with anxiety and OCD, and potentially BPD (my new doctor hates labels and only treats the symptoms. I don't know what I think of it yet.), so... Maybe that is involved with that?
I haven't been able to see my therapist in a while and don't really know many people with similar diagnosis as me, so hello Reddit. What are you life experiences?",3.2116865079365087,4.816064017857143,4.961547619047618,81.65567460317463,74.0,8.549206349206349,25.83730158730159,9.150863307647796,2.10115753968254,438,15,88,10,9,149,73,112,0.13,0.85,0.02,-0.8528,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,0,1,4,3,1,0,5,0,10,5,0,0,0,15,18,12,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,5,10,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,2,13,1,12,16,0,5,0,1,2,0,3,2,0,1,3,57,18,1,0.17262642359597088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13804928858148888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320587415516182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21741693744468613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14868288569123336,0.17521218619224058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1766904593583611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16886176669049766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18038036287202333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17043285434215674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.398375431124918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18974193567470246,0.0,0.0,0.3655729146005242,0.0,0.0,0.12193114815569216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17501609873775034,0.1734264450705083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280003057549414,0.0,0.16672367561232085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19653632742424465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131290173989304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11967742642766352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18360945050080565,0.0,0.0,0.11058890730778384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13756090958758235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17942495159329086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2004325829753585,0.0,0.11061204189081757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14243487836828092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15576849697279133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,caspydreams,2020/01/05,"coping with depressive episodes so i stopped taking my meds. not intentionally, but as i start to stabilize i always find myself forgetting to take them. i probably missed a week or two which was enough time for me to start cycling. i’m mixed episode bipolar 2. i could tell i was entering a hypomanic episode a few days ago. inflated ego, hyper sexuality, reckless spending, excessive anger. it was all there. but of course mania feels so good that i didn’t care. i was responsible and started taking my meds as soon as i noticed what was happening, but it hasn’t been long enough to take effect. there’s been a lot of stressors in my life that i can tell are worsening my symptoms, if not triggering them. i could tell i was entering a depressive episode yesterday. hysterical crying, emptiness, lots of anger still but not enough energy to do anything about it, sensitivity, feelings of hopelessness and failure. the works. i’ve also noticed that i experience mild psychosis during the switch of my episodes. mainly derealization/depersonalization. 

anyway. i was so used to being properly medicated, and therefore stabilized, that i’ve forgotten/never developed any coping mechanisms. what do you all do to cope with particularly the depressive episodes? because i am struggling big time. thanks in advance.

TLDR; going through a severe depressive episode and i don’t know how to cope.",5.629216672655407,8.59971533884298,6.213478260869567,69.2554347826087,71.23140495867769,9.663241106719367,34.90190441969098,9.971965246562196,4.360846352856629,1120,59,172,33,23,363,143,242,0.24600000000000002,0.6940000000000001,0.06,-0.9941,0,0,0,0,0,1,36.0,0,1,2,3,11,12,2,1,9,0,21,4,0,6,2,33,38,18,0,3,9,0,2,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,10,6,0,1,5,0,1,4,6,9,0,1,10,2,26,3,23,25,9,20,0,6,0,0,6,3,0,4,13,122,36,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09788376992442503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08830563282699383,0.09188119760482193,0.0,0.0,0.07509176638919841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09086913157332364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0673131405122573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11258411729968637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1763283585605971,0.0,0.12129502934859147,0.07121402220782216,0.0,0.3804303939967856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3422909798023506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1080153713293968,0.0,0.0,0.11166687862144413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10092507824893517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06275621959845605,0.09261799255329416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09764713611856732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060685867619241315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07799538345939812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09772132242268483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18775622135156694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453112299740653,0.11124005882127116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2514357726145988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190552091022854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12474712387811987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344749643342547,0.0,0.08818434951206869,0.0923189901985638,0.0,0.11543861741409545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11477229660655305,0.3320989176456477,0.0,0.2895450175904358,0.10166312267229614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287776613718941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10786771405928028,0.0,0.0,0.09537044975146818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08857507082836727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08038962292989034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,imamess777,2020/01/05,Anyone who has or currently takes lithium experience a body rocking sensation? I’ve been on it for 5 years now and within the last year my anxiety has increased and I’ve been noticing every little change I’m also on vyvanse (30) and Zoloft (25mg). Just wanna get some other’s opinions. There’s a lot of weird sensations I get out of no where I’m not sure of.  But this on inperticular is like a rocking side to side twitchy feeling (nothing crazy). Also have a head ache and I’m sick with bronchitis so that could be it too. But I have gotten this before too. Idfk who knows lol,2.398503134796236,4.558091060344829,4.0865203761755495,84.54688087774295,78.05172413793103,6.631974921630094,25.200626959247646,7.686295010490155,1.4477689655172412,457,17,89,7,11,153,84,116,0.11900000000000001,0.8029999999999999,0.079,-0.5517,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,9,3,0,0,5,1,9,4,2,0,1,19,18,10,0,2,5,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,8,6,0,0,2,2,0,1,2,1,0,0,3,1,3,2,12,13,3,15,0,0,0,0,2,9,0,4,6,57,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3605698760114723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1724616061291422,0.0,0.0,0.15763345934551762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918335287449172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25041392305421545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23848648948752302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17999614619166682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18994360950379646,0.0,0.0,0.22052437540353687,0.0,0.0,0.11398964961274298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2355670418296928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313673154813904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12389637593101305,0.18376435310372227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101389945701604,0.2259509216808575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916617187539772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21631654180465693,0.256665861661718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21247529980119506,0.0,0.1695034361421152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2903529865015396
bipolarreddit,bonbons2006,2020/01/05,"Achievements unlocked If you were to get an award to acknowledge today’s achievement, what would it be?

I’m torn between “Showered” and “Barely Slept in Past Noon”. I think either one of those would look really good on a reward sticker on my shirt!",4.491086956521741,6.807490065217394,4.286304347826088,84.81467391304348,72.26086956521739,6.339130434782609,26.71739130434783,7.1686216300943375,1.4458434782608696,197,7,34,2,4,60,42,46,0.039,0.746,0.215,0.8735,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,4,0,3,0,0,2,0,4,2,2,0,0,7,9,2,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,3,3,7,4,1,6,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,1,3,23,6,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20050015023003515,0.0,0.0,0.3218819110692966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32226398066091244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2600475097525305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3663448818887107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2458481863096984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2458996163800221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3637621287637279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5452279648622389,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,LoisLaneEl,2020/01/05,"Might be having an episode So for about a year now I’ve been fighting off a depressive episode. Tv/movies can trigger me so I’ve had to avoid anything that could possibly make me cry for a year. I’ve had 2 surgeries and 2 broken bones which have made me mostly immobile for nearly a year. I’m also agoraphobic and only leave the house to see the doctor or accompanied by another person/my support dog. Anyways, I’ve also gained nearly 50 pounds and I was formerly anorexic, but now I can’t stop eating. My doctor says I’m eating to fill the void inside, which I truly believe. So, Christmas happened and my brothers are my biggest trigger. I didn’t have my safety nets in place and after a recurring theme of being proven less important than anyone else I had a complete breakdown. Crying for 2 hours, uncontrollably wailing, to the point I couldn’t breathe. (I basically realized, once again, that my brothers don’t give a shit about me and when I lose my mother, I’ll have nothing left to live for). My psychiatrist has been out of the office until yesterday and I was supposed to make an appointment because my mom thinks I need a change in medicine. I just don’t want to have to do anything for a while. I have a psychologist appointment on Tuesday and I don’t know if that’ll do anything. It certainly can’t change my outlook. I already have an appointment for my psychiatrist in 3 weeks and just don’t want to have to take the extra steps, probably just a symptom of my depression. 
*note, I’m not going to hurt myself, so do I really have to rush an appointment or is it okay to just hold out for a little while?",5.582169811320753,6.135116242138366,6.418547169811323,77.36442452830191,67.39622641509435,9.378867924528302,32.56666666666667,9.3871,2.9273164779874223,1287,53,241,24,20,426,165,318,0.111,0.807,0.08199999999999999,-0.8772,0,1,0,0,2,2,33.0,0,0,0,2,17,11,2,2,22,1,36,8,3,5,1,39,53,23,0,6,9,4,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,7,11,2,3,3,0,0,4,9,8,0,0,9,2,31,3,39,38,3,36,0,4,1,0,7,14,1,5,18,168,38,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12791483970825665,0.18539401185910304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215467513212517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08105030779211432,0.11876838803303387,0.2861639566561385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07066057266614198,0.0,0.0,0.13059626060773033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24524493032734065,0.0,0.12153443915465448,0.0,0.0,0.0925485180037308,0.0,0.2546538809541144,0.0,0.0,0.19967445653886814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23728737362045935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23721951169527505,0.09683192299430768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111960171368546,0.06587703948208437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10250305519603968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141527068812588,0.13375009056774628,0.12408916704369673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06370373044675337,0.0,0.0,0.12273701291986312,0.12594174524413634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11617705926255288,0.10235487245650468,0.0,0.0,0.1296789865087767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10968136545850278,0.15474802855191858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12296726138767515,0.0,0.1357579868112823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0859493389895037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11122335554004167,0.0,0.0,0.12344545531022802,0.0,0.08815841183849661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10121231293546153,0.12110627160045008,0.0,0.10957693199033328,0.1306764954565596,0.0,0.0,0.12497573564440813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07425797482759981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09218008378680946,0.0,0.0,0.09236907037146788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11898485367382675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09690994456279477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315387161976557,0.0,0.12047983711219933,0.08715348713515426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07427350918205168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13673907839212754,0.0,0.09297984288129947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22393594946800152
bipolarreddit,cbudryk,2020/01/05,"Does bipolar disorder actually worsen with age? I’ve read this in places across the internet. My psychiatrist has always been very careful to say things like “*untreated* bipolar worsens with age, yes” when I ask her.   

Has this been your experience? Or is my anxiety just getting to me tonight?",5.280588235294118,8.27662215686275,5.740941176470589,72.07023529411767,72.52941176470588,9.570196078431367,35.69019607843137,9.888512548439397,4.4200478431372545,234,13,37,7,5,75,42,51,0.188,0.695,0.11699999999999999,-0.6425,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,1,5,2,0,0,0,4,8,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,6,2,6,6,0,7,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,5,24,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.2872913277065908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449638683843633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22521472024443184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27522367973385803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3001597890679077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3374071955719564,0.0,0.2576308817618991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2879790849007597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15381152540338602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438286666050606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3075846928653989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2944790491121757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23411820366673025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19558586688065815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24291032087583134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,dootmore,2020/01/05,"Four known generations of Bipolar Disorder Great grandmother, my paternal side - suicide 

Great uncle (brother of GG) - suicide 

Grandmother (daughter of GG) - suicide 1983, prescribed lithium for manic depression

My father - living, age 62, bp2 diagnosis. Currently prescribed Cymbalta and Seroquel. Stable

Uncle - suicide 2017. Diagnosis unknown

Aunt 1 - living. Diagnosed bp1. Status unknown

Aunt 2 - living. Diagnosed bp1. Status unknown

Me - living, age 30, bp1. Currently prescribed lithium, Seroquel and Klonopin as needed. Stable",8.144615384615385,12.38988980000001,7.7426666666666675,49.827230769230795,84.33333333333334,9.241025641025642,47.10256410256411,8.841846274778883,7.40934871794872,425,31,32,13,13,134,46,75,0.244,0.63,0.126,-0.93,2,0,0,0,0,4,28.0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,1,3,4,1,0,5,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,3,2,5,1,0,5,0,1,0,0,5,1,0,0,4,11,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13103151879026104,0.30882261614169043,0.0,0.0,0.17435705103905705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3354532864749057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5373432185983618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11280433784099393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.665633150451265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kamicandy,2020/01/05,"Does anyone else black out during manic episodes? I’m talking about without substance abuse, or with a small amount of drinking (for people that don’t take medication, so it’s not an interaction.)",5.800190476190476,8.374466542857142,5.48,76.55333333333336,69.28571428571428,6.9523809523809526,31.666666666666664,7.793537801064563,2.4396666666666667,159,7,25,2,3,49,35,35,0.0,0.899,0.10099999999999999,0.5216,0,0,1,0,1,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,3,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,6,3,1,2,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,1,0,14,2,0,0.0,0.3949025939367828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330491005014157,0.3415022934902984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29167056158555216,0.0,0.0,0.3265042965806275,0.0,0.0,0.2784269815671365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3357617904688609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23106626160066426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25059795990541,0.2678916053345756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3212865363597857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,spurrit,2020/01/05,"Pressure in your head? Does anyone else feel pressure inside their head? Is that a BP thing?

Does it get worse with the weather?",1.3912499999999994,4.012355625000001,1.0083333333333364,98.52000000000002,96.91666666666666,2.4000000000000004,18.5,3.1291,-0.8393000000000002,101,3,19,0,4,29,21,24,0.297,0.703,0.0,-0.8156,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,1,2,2,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,10,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20599766872584505,0.30186203753703594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5156291579183054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2461082621207351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14896331132105356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15392119682914324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6047082618932427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19572532444615925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3002320402777279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,picodegalloyum7,2020/01/05,"Something really bad just happened in my life and I feel like killing myself tonight I have already been in a depressive phase for about 2 weeks now.

I got bad news(I am not up to sharing it) just a few moments ago and now my life seems hopeless and I feel like killing myself.

(Edited to add that this bit isn't the horrible news, just some details): 
My psychiatrist had to leave the place she was working at, and told me to stay on my current meds for a few months (she gave me extra prescriptions) until my insurance is accepted at her new practice. I am severely physically disabled so I talk to my therapist on the phone once a week. But it's not enough. I'm so unhappy.

And please don't suggest hospitalization I already know about that option and I had a traumatic experience once with it and can't do it again.

I just feel like life has kicked me down too hard this time and that I can't face this bad news and grieve over it I have been hopeless long enough and this just seals it.",3.1084831292923236,5.045995106598988,3.904031054045984,87.71253508510004,75.09137055837563,7.477933711555687,26.81666169005673,8.313332769828598,1.7071722305165715,784,30,163,14,17,250,111,197,0.217,0.713,0.07,-0.9856,1,0,1,0,0,4,17.0,0,0,0,1,13,14,2,0,8,0,16,4,1,0,0,30,26,14,3,0,8,0,4,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,13,12,0,0,6,0,0,0,6,9,0,0,8,4,25,5,20,18,7,25,0,4,0,0,9,10,0,3,17,112,38,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11241182538120197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2798819811877764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3176499742215263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13844664670210233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092236104429948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620628791392789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12404717421223868,0.0,0.0,0.19236096551271115,0.2717850988317205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10142371723626284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11214007003213944,0.0,0.11359928911194765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2805989729799589,0.0,0.06969295480944324,0.0,0.0,0.1342763608172026,0.0,0.0,0.2687147245987905,0.1858628691998967,0.0,0.0,0.1122252671784138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14086034471896386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10122070372892353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12247651578757378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2701028174655453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324923023282772,0.13920228608717222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08123947604962342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11544553809286635,0.0,0.14326227848622325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09762662783643464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13516548720348925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10192726124779784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472393427206302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07394551718999877,0.0,0.0,0.12117498898493875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20344303049981866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09232117093806942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,annisgay,2020/01/05,"Medication I’m feeling really defeated about medication. Since being diagnosed 2 years ago I have had to change dose or medication every few months. I have tried multiple combinations and 10 different meds. It sometimes feels like I will never find the right fit for me. I also have been experiencing paranoia around my medication and have believed that it is being used for mind control and to hurt me. I’m not good at staying on it and every few months try to go off my meds. This landed me in the hospital last June due to sever depression. Right now I take a mood stabilizer, two antidepressants, and an antipsychotic.

This week I start the process of going off all the pills and will be getting the Invega Sustenna injection to replace them. I’m hoping that this works and I won’t have to think about my meds or take pills multiple times a day.

My doctor says it is normal for people with bipolar to struggle with taking medication. I’m nervous but hopeful for the injection. 

What has been your experience? Please tell me I’m not alone.",5.381924398625428,7.310051350515463,6.302453608247426,72.91282130584194,69.0,9.709415807560136,30.459106529209624,10.047579312681364,3.310803848797252,838,34,145,22,15,277,119,194,0.068,0.848,0.084,0.6137,1,1,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,1,3,5,10,0,2,9,0,17,11,0,2,2,27,35,11,0,3,5,0,2,1,0,3,11,1,0,0,10,10,0,1,4,0,0,2,4,5,0,1,3,4,17,4,22,26,3,26,0,3,0,0,4,10,0,4,14,94,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09326327914259692,0.0,0.0,0.1089669544818951,0.0,0.08413726699090425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09366017206060998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11853686466547862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11129937787202594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180031785678373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0678524461937169,0.0,0.09061815369658367,0.10678703701551216,0.0,0.10992319121573303,0.0,0.10768800409286117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772897543501776,0.0,0.0,0.10291662995573947,0.0,0.0,0.10639577204571388,0.07516282043929215,0.0,0.0,0.09616102600549856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05496844969947449,0.0,0.11958776885818433,0.08824606673602814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20899669452408107,0.0,0.0,0.1126306429591597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08576107694591073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05140082191427714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3505973932483797,0.5299454989165842,0.0,0.0,0.10623320395537196,0.0,0.1679569692044041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08114527512610553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10308452527352574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07294011931242092,0.0,0.0,0.11549017748453505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06740091539765486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17969938415359607,0.0,0.08366807798203321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11885857936881615,0.0,0.08703169707276331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10405645371128153,0.0,0.07446894777189997,0.11214101826703507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10998947024658616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373169276422483,0.0,0.09195912601491332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06741501529349228,0.0,0.0,0.06134942998788635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14286284151314144,0.0,0.10277594267723617,0.0,0.0,0.09086859735780077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08439398648130718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07659492323668296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06775248952330444
bipolarreddit,thatonejessica,2020/01/05,"What was your (or near) tipping point that made you want to stop taking your meds? I’m taking Ziprisadone and it has an extreme sedative side effect. I was so fatigued and got nauseous. When I got to the office I threw up twice, I also couldn’t keep my head up. Then we were getting ready to go out to the island ( I work for a national seashore) I couldn’t remember going to the shed to get supplies or even most of the boat ride. All I could remember was trying to sleep standing up and then feeling the urge to throw up and peeing my pants for the force of trying to vomit nothing but bile. My co worker non-jokingly told me to take a nap in the resource cabin while she did work.  I could barely form words, walk straight, or see clearly because of the fatigue. It’s not the first time this has happened!

Anyways I was THIS CLOSE to saying screw it and quitting ziprisadone until my psych appointment (I didn’t, hold the “call your psych” comment because I did lol)",4.157449513836951,5.457545167539268,4.310818997756172,88.45556282722515,71.14659685863873,6.5042632759910255,28.302543006731486,6.5431188927421005,1.2288082273747198,761,28,151,5,14,236,120,191,0.043,0.9009999999999999,0.057,0.3785,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,4,0,6,5,3,1,0,13,1,14,7,3,2,2,30,32,16,0,5,5,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,7,8,0,3,4,1,0,6,4,3,0,2,13,3,22,0,24,15,3,27,0,2,1,1,10,12,1,4,8,103,29,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12883321374785636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19641257170186252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16450315754250444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572536811185368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10640635371894318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08145801338731089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13703328161586836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16833829485538834,0.0,0.1831159620219335,0.0,0.2576959778009556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14246196937488928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16533713320373605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431948626267058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15243861070346876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17894800769910418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15458171700749493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15229346578544048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1713518108319224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3649943293151477,0.0,0.0,0.12811477909898,0.0,0.0,0.12837743859712256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16121834913172392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134688488338448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36338597102546255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09393987360907463,0.0,0.0,0.15393986792434985,0.0,0.21875537030788544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09502213549144288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2345683540783185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sabrinaiscute9,2020/01/05,"I had two nights of 6 hour sleep and now I’m having a panic attack that I’m going manic Hello. I have bipolar type 1.

The last two nights, I’ve only gotten 6 hours of sleep. I usually get 8.

I’m scared that this is a sign that I’m going manic. I start a new job on Monday and really can’t afford to have this happen right now.

Is there a way to stop a manic episode from progressing? Or am I just sleep deprived?

Ugh, I don’t even know. I’m worried and having panic attacks about going manic.",-0.15652647975078082,1.8726139626168248,2.77535046728972,91.046265576324,86.94392523364485,4.68816199376947,15.45872274143302,5.985473137389443,-0.4990866043613709,382,7,82,3,12,135,65,107,0.254,0.746,0.0,-0.9755,2,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,6,7,2,3,6,0,10,4,3,0,0,8,23,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,3,0,1,1,0,0,3,2,7,0,2,2,0,6,0,7,21,0,18,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,12,45,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33920949176060755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09846867663628628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0778903164250993,0.0,0.2541838784210245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318346236390875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29363571886304657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14794301722828254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08193275129011073,0.12152348223017355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14398640342255806,0.0,0.2798107556430204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11338521591497808,0.0,0.34983626181155386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955071255668845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12731705159635318,0.0,0.0,0.14925924452673933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4475754576766817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10552253042444704,0.0,0.0,0.12464102698096452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2912671083061062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16419513145523892,0.0,0.0,0.11833606090571933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15140219351332668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Mr_Badass,2020/01/05,"Dr Patrick McKeon - Bipolar Disorder: what it is & what to do I found this video extremely helpful in understanding bipolar disorder, especially the thinking wheel metaphor.

Summary: Dr McKeon’s lecture explores in detail:

 - What is Bipolar disorder?
 - How it can be recognised: the signs and symptoms
 - Why a diagnosis of Bipolar disorder is sometimes missed
 - Treatment: the purpose and type of medication prescribed to   treat Bipolar disorder
 - Lifestyle management at a practical everyday level
 - Staying well

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vHGf82yy33Q",10.873196202531645,15.36569434177216,8.425806962025318,52.24225474683547,61.278481012658226,11.54493670886076,52.91297468354431,10.9516,8.252302531645572,459,34,43,15,8,135,57,79,0.179,0.7340000000000001,0.08800000000000001,-0.8002,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,5,0,6,9,0,1,0,8,10,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,9,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,4,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,2,7,8,0,7,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,29,7,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16525196204066087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8739877170596089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16722687283410656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022288412595792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15364469825555094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15084308164422294,0.0,0.0,0.16256268756818795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15852342283046744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09772665022948296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1587754376958555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13713098027695794,0.0,0.1376227502920364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,alc_lucasd,2020/01/06,"Hypersexuality I'm struggling with recurrent manic symptoms for the past two weeks now. I've been experiencing SEVERE hypersexuality. My libido is in overdrive. My girlfriend has noticed. I've been watching far too much porn, especially in risky situations. When I think about limiting myself (e.g. more self control with porn) I brush it off because it all feels so good and I become delusional about the whole situation. It's similar to my sleep: Yes my pdoc says sleep, yes if I take my antipsychotic I will sleep, but it all feels so good I don't want to. 

Not sure if I'm wanting advice. Others who relate. Etc. But putting this here.",3.3195970695970733,6.339212589743589,4.814584859584863,75.42942307692311,81.22222222222223,7.103540903540902,26.30586080586081,8.192908349453996,2.182057875457876,511,21,89,11,14,170,82,117,0.084,0.821,0.096,0.5276,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,2,8,4,0,1,2,2,6,6,3,1,3,18,14,8,0,4,5,0,2,0,1,1,1,1,0,1,7,3,0,2,3,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,2,6,12,3,10,11,6,9,0,0,1,2,4,4,0,2,4,56,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15856236746851146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09891454388050427,0.17920768658234554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819927182278694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18096709806671715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1640909676972874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2721984569080929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11928260850820785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18473848177449426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15489921632287162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16311999836833047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12903873544472305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16927659595860392,0.18331197690237144,0.0,0.0,0.36478275778933,0.4871431395054986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16963341928210945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15293176913253595,0.16865428180234585,0.1220022298474795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10397213050988162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15850821480634208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.191414859227128,0.0,0.1301582820753389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18116180656770065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,FlandersFields2018,2020/01/06,"Has anyone here studied for and/or taken the LSAT? Desperate bipolar college graduate looking for advice and insight Hey guys - I've only found a few posts from people in my situation after searching all over the internet, so I'm posting this because I'm really desperate for more advice. As the title says, I have bipolar disorder (graduated from college last month) and want to go to straight to law school. Now it's time for me to face the beast that is the LSAT. Unfortunately, my cognitive issues (a combo of bipolar brain damage/cognitive decline and medication symptoms, I'm sure you guys know what I mean) are really holding me back. To make a long story short, I'm nowhere near as sharp or cognitively capable as I used to be before I was diagnosed at 20 after my first major episode.

​

I'm tempted to get off of meds but I don't want to pull a textbook bipolar move that will risk me going into an episode when my test comes around without making an informed decision first. So back to my question - have any of y'all taken the LSAT, and if so what was your experience? How did your medication (or lack thereof) affect your performance? Any advice is pretty helpful at this point, so even if you know anecdotes from others please feel free to share. Thanks :)

​

P.S. I've also posted this to r/bipolar \- hopefully that's okay with the mods.",6.2398823529411755,7.406307890196079,6.733725490196079,73.50176470588238,66.17647058823529,9.294117647058824,34.21568627450981,9.478462496947786,3.372098039215687,1092,49,183,21,17,356,159,255,0.047,0.804,0.149,0.9806,0,0,0,0,0,0,43.0,0,6,0,3,13,7,0,1,13,1,12,10,2,5,2,36,36,19,0,6,6,0,2,0,0,1,8,1,0,2,10,8,0,1,9,0,1,5,2,1,0,2,6,4,19,7,36,28,5,31,0,0,1,0,14,11,0,6,12,117,29,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3119761564942756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0851037571620294,0.0,0.2306112967059348,0.25862305049705364,0.14473802513084236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07441109497635756,0.0,0.0,0.0947360524517838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16366028680903233,0.0,0.06487243203604058,0.0,0.0905552855742346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11879952659277687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09167110705677067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10801370654460714,0.0,0.0,0.12196614082354044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07028917640071382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10409883987121367,0.0,0.0,0.05380897354452895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810410030534054,0.0,0.11668365540756137,0.0,0.0,0.055599875799424624,0.0,0.12096148121326615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2107443732749092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07133084942681643,0.0,0.0,0.10569872646544994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11107446787170233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11697091512051835,0.08674621992592091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09417804308481584,0.08936570510704185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14207188798734255,0.0,0.0,0.1159221988899712,0.1182082426481962,0.2144132067127073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08494315082986532,0.1131072482542575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08093694070977307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0737779871314906,0.0,0.0,0.11681682054524165,0.10060096890025468,0.0,0.30576182818362496,0.1082670445199034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192143653898158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363503080536384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08462917854898305,0.0,0.10770236917909244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196201475244932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10029926247435582,0.11061076566280716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09797691752220734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06205415481682373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09191241075168888,0.0,0.0,0.1255381358367421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10258474682054282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25862305049705364,0.0
bipolarreddit,judithbutler33,2020/01/06,"What medicine worked best for you to calm you down? (Personal experience) Hi! This is my first time posting so I apologize upfront if Im doing something wrong, also please let me know if this is the case. So my question is which drug/medicine did you feel worked best to calm you down or knock you out to sleep and stop your (hypomaniac) thoughts? Im cyclothemic and have a hard managing these mixed states where I just cant seem to relax and my mind and body are racing but in a very negative way. I usually just drink till I black out but I tend to do harmful things then. Looking for a medicine I can ask my doctor for, I will have to use it maximum 1/2 times a month.",2.1487521367521403,4.303246644444447,2.9696296296296296,92.26794871794873,78.85185185185185,6.5242165242165235,24.45868945868946,7.61054688173877,1.0478262108262104,527,19,115,8,13,166,91,135,0.095,0.818,0.087,-0.4786,0,0,3,0,0,0,15.0,0,6,0,5,6,7,0,0,5,0,13,4,2,1,0,21,21,14,0,2,7,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,7,6,1,1,5,2,0,0,2,2,0,1,2,4,18,5,15,17,2,17,0,0,2,0,11,6,0,5,8,78,25,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129902810720709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15185900625054147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3409404703615104,0.0,0.0,0.18043366688406848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16626371301171658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15912887017809707,0.18837825069692016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15889700223563194,0.0,0.0,0.0821342927565749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13817095705632773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1455138870402938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35092507291602393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08927250190493513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16610539597205112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13640826988802154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16401759029278928,0.0,0.1296576603928811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14183590719049274,0.0,0.17830979306109984,0.0,0.0,0.15557214008203185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819694177889031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14787882143167816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625568134390498,0.0,0.0,0.12505386438744584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13580669687500482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10791758692373,0.0,0.0,0.1289588195811141,0.18943955934298026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14029557442485988,0.17890416170350334,0.1340296008391241,0.0,0.1289369154127678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23651578358155384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17760209479067265,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MyBloodFlowsHarshly,2020/01/06,"Sad and directionless (rant?) I got out of a mental hospital just a few weeks ago which got me from “danger to myself” to functional again, but I’m still struggling with some combination of bipolar and hatred for my job and it’s making life very difficult.  
   
I still go to bed early every night because I can’t take being awake. I still only engage in my hobbies and spend time with friends and family in hopes that I’ll feel something, but I usually don’t. My lack of responsibility at my job makes me feel worthless, and what I do have to do is absolutely miserable. I miss my girlfriend constantly but don’t get to see her as often as I’d like because of our schedules.
   
On top of all this, I’ll be moving back in alone in a few short months, and my girlfriend will be transferring to college a very long ways away. At that point I won’t have any friends in the immediate area, and I’m expecting to completely fall apart. If I don’t have my shit together by then I don’t know what I’ll do.  
   
I’ve quit drinking and drugs as my New Years resolution and so I can start applying for jobs where I’ll get drug tested, and also to hopefully improve my mood. I don’t know where I’m going to end up but worry constantly at the lack of certainty in my life. I think that if I fix my job situation things will improve, but if that doesn’t work I don’t think there’s an easy solution anymore. Thoughts and prayers are appreciated",5.726040024257128,5.687048367697598,6.778665858095818,76.95130988477867,67.04123711340206,10.55839902971498,32.58156458459673,10.328600350310266,3.169854093389933,1149,45,233,27,17,387,161,291,0.14400000000000002,0.713,0.14400000000000002,0.0138,4,2,4,0,0,0,31.0,1,0,0,3,12,15,2,2,7,0,23,7,1,2,1,41,47,26,0,8,9,0,2,1,4,3,5,0,1,0,10,15,1,0,7,1,1,4,9,8,0,0,3,3,31,6,37,38,6,46,0,4,1,0,6,20,1,7,22,147,41,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09099088140956592,0.0,0.0,0.10631193031143513,0.0,0.08208722825613893,0.0,0.3336558123121911,0.0,0.06980387060724988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10179881169534058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09644077521076763,0.07892964874735407,0.0,0.12514601737111686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076240289298222,0.22185112366910187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10055554468744493,0.2380771959845681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09091528360828152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08648500868462439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09676699785496204,0.0,0.10380339578119184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586105228878852,0.0,0.10725824212604032,0.0,0.11667396422521542,0.0,0.16419328475214662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20390440504837706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4074475157123579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128248449777194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14500603506234233,0.050148419980013764,0.0,0.0,0.0908398733172383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370361061238896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10344461214650603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0819323146649254,0.10909812697451067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09913766710657423,0.0,0.09632779514732573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0780681058974564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09703513654727833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10917833063911124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08179682706421505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105366260156985,0.0,0.1153801745225079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07902311777036877,0.0,0.0,0.07265448156768974,0.0,0.2459234568149829,0.0,0.0,0.10730953206359056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771782013889312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06819448741340975,0.13154484204689576,0.0,0.08149070832159877,0.05985462617111231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11305180139098775,0.16938999820126946,0.0,0.08147686680071999,0.08233769267173235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07472865677548983,0.10424359455441318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0661016725563762
bipolarreddit,alienieee,2020/01/06,"Fair Weather Friends: worth keeping? I’ve found that I have certain friends who only seem to be able to handle the non depressed side of me. It’s not that they say anything bad or wrong, it’s more that they ignore it entirely. I don’t think someone who has never experienced mental health issues should be expected to handle them perfectly. But it is pretty upsetting that even after explaining, it’s as if they can’t acknowledge it at all. For example if I send three texts, and 2/3 relate to being depressed, they will only answer the 1/3 that doesn’t have to do with depression. I have made an effort to bring it up only when absolutely necessary. I’m aware my friends are not my therapists. But I’m starting to realize that these people are only friends with half of me. I’m torn because I don’t think it’s malicious. It’s just a lack of understanding. 

Do you all maintain friendships like this?",4.80610079575597,6.386654517241382,5.566781609195403,78.99099469496022,69.91954022988506,8.802122015915119,30.625994694960212,9.265573868473778,2.805321485411141,722,30,131,15,13,235,108,174,0.14,0.6970000000000001,0.163,0.5418,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,5,2,3,14,0,1,4,0,18,1,0,1,5,31,31,8,0,5,8,0,0,1,4,2,1,1,0,0,19,3,0,2,9,0,1,2,7,7,0,2,2,2,15,7,17,24,4,9,0,3,0,0,15,3,0,4,5,91,34,0,0.1489301027502009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225567848962666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12435041498187,0.09078640831728536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38481983780799217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983669282732564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16329417059466916,0.4602521117908482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15830573493788933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15544433401576896,0.0,0.13237591824925352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0727597254536844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409212642014766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15008651483820049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11486407649055888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4530722167559329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10324938119825326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1515154558353687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11843519532358447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355803721203044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261879927637946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10541349326562427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1729193280796499,0.0,0.19085679261669508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15504148926512942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16283168791813732,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,HoneyChancellorship,2020/01/06,"Any tips for managing irritation? Since I started lowering the dose of antidepressants I been experiencing a lot of irritation.
I’m also on Quetiapine and when I increased the dose to 50mg it helped a lot. 
The problem is I’m still feeling irritable most days and I need to wait another week to discuss this with my psychiatrist. 

I’m a very lay back person and quite flexible so when I’m irritated it’s very noticeable and it’s just not a nice feeling either. 

I would like to learn how other people manage or any other thing that might help.  Thanks!",2.67091194968554,5.423032160377363,4.998396226415097,74.95973270440253,81.16981132075472,8.438993710691824,26.757861635220127,9.075114841892004,2.8319333333333323,443,19,80,13,12,154,72,106,0.182,0.6809999999999999,0.138,-0.7842,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,8,4,0,0,7,0,4,2,0,1,0,21,14,10,0,3,4,0,2,1,0,2,2,0,0,1,8,5,0,1,3,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,3,6,3,9,11,5,9,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,5,8,52,14,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16395639072327067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2788446126495442,0.21498393018126874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157649619856715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322225284649359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2073310364920332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.274844472423925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10016362003041457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3486055351525913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21749643531712895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520215595364493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23341943462073714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14213676209238066,0.17901770784553708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19617880956032427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21806662762354698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16959670121105694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451159555605771,0.0,0.16373120492329987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18875713960017634,0.0,0.0,0.13620781528446846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3383300096702249,0.0,0.0,0.16445665419248146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14564207634135815,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,keepers1234,2020/01/06,"Women with Bipolar 1: Having children? Getting off [some or all] medications for pregnancy. Noise sensitivity. Etc. Have any of you decided and followed through with having children and raising a family?

I'm \[mid-30'sF\] so scared of risking my life and mental/overall health to have and raise children. 

I'm extremely sensitive to noise too, which doesn't help matters. 

I would surely need extra hands to support me and my childcare responsibilities. I'm wondering if anyone here, who is currently in treatment with Bipolar disorder, has experience with either having and raising children or with making the decision not to have children.

Thank you so much in advance.",6.580105519480518,9.905077383928576,6.713051948051952,65.0683116883117,69.80357142857143,8.715584415584416,38.753246753246756,9.339509955726095,4.73534642857143,545,32,70,13,11,174,78,112,0.10800000000000001,0.823,0.069,-0.5569,2,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,2,0,1,4,5,0,2,2,0,10,6,1,1,2,26,20,11,0,3,5,0,1,0,0,1,5,0,0,6,2,11,0,0,3,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,0,1,6,3,16,19,6,6,0,0,0,0,10,3,0,5,1,56,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650386987222926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1696957005499734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27814574852047874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2706654317235147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23739908093003875,0.22878816412778025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12679641224568258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2579699603197661,0.0,0.0,0.1626711509641704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17142034621703747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16199861437417049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2444863856111756,0.2445761822370703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1784063460921405,0.17995284273368325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2429767597451053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2754036992907886,0.2287340834809554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22343793841416468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.263188828757768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1724012418974008,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,spicyr0ck,2020/01/06,"frustrated and anxious and confused I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 in a hospital at the end of october/beginning of november. I'm on risperidone, which worked well at gradually taking down my hallucinations and delusions, which were so incredibly intense and ranged from feeling awesome to feeling terrifying. I was put in the psych ward by my family and I am grateful for that.

Now I'm waiting to start back at my job (which it miraculously appears I still have) in ten days. I'm trying to get through the wait. But I feel so ... I don't know how to effectively describe it. I've had major depressive episodes, that's not what this is. I'm sleeping the right amount and eating the right amount for the most part, but I feel distressed much of the day. When I try to accomplish tasks, only the smallest feel manageable. But when I am not actively doing something, I feel distress. I'm finding it difficult to even just sit and read a book, for example.

I feel better when I'm out of the house, but I can't be out of the house all of the time. And I cannot shake the sense of fear. Fear that I will have another episode. Fear that I won't be able to handle work. Fear that I will let my family down or run out of money and lose our house. I don't make very much money. Neither does my husband. We skate by. And I fear that I won't get my creativity back; fear that I will get in a car wreck. Fear that I will die before my daughter grows up.

I don't know that anyone can really help me with this (although if you can, I'd love to hear it). I guess I wonder if others had the same experience, was it just part of recovering from a major event that took time? or was it something medically treatable? What is this struggle attributed to? Does it matter?",3.1168402331785394,4.872560765042984,4.521213318842012,84.08246418338109,74.58739255014326,7.908348977373778,27.2207291769588,8.641336200584522,1.980317379705564,1373,53,280,27,29,456,175,349,0.196,0.7190000000000001,0.086,-0.9933,1,0,2,0,0,0,45.0,2,1,0,6,14,19,1,12,17,0,30,6,1,4,1,52,59,25,1,2,12,2,7,0,0,6,3,2,0,0,26,16,1,2,12,2,2,7,10,16,1,1,8,9,35,3,42,42,12,38,0,2,0,1,8,16,0,9,14,194,61,8,0.08170408596920217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0856738580491986,0.0,0.09230236100173947,0.0,0.05712939662428775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12565079763613998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06952415936951084,0.0,0.0,0.07226062442763957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10538475247949516,0.0,0.07037160952310388,0.08292792740124177,0.08479594182443748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14299959245153604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08360367739391715,0.0,0.0,0.07236556911118525,0.0,0.0,0.05396477821307112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07992227386279349,0.1540466815486522,0.6435786826235851,0.2891842855939081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0746760543815306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12806103812135913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0900062620951769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09208644295938706,0.0,0.05476452657694005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2828266362236792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08107869817714991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08980485780446043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08354796352469541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09140597310373648,0.0,0.0,0.07374112752769825,0.0,0.05453811182706761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08230827090817296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12012380835996896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062139639106698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1769551261991836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08213517321901738,0.0,0.0,0.0817261962552206,0.0,0.05234172962456134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13954968598831485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08176309168295554,0.0,0.0,0.12579959415915073,0.0,0.0,0.057830572577623925,0.0,0.06524898859647528,0.0,0.0,0.08541485051397174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06143130444988161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09528461915099244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907762457949814,0.11094342235205884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06741442766868802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07346178555257372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08860459597063511,0.11896309535309316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jedimermaid88,2020/01/06,"I got up with my first alarm My kids went back to school today. Most school mornings I struggle to get up with my 6:15 alarm. Not because I'm sleepy. I know these little people will rely on me and sometimes I get so afraid of letting them down that it completely exhausts me mentally. I have been working really hard on my mental health in the last year. Today was a small victory but I am seriously so proud. No rushing, the morning went smooth, I had the extra time to fix the girls' hair. It's going to be a good day.",1.2018571428571434,3.609215019047621,2.769166666666667,90.79375000000002,84.52380952380952,5.404761904761906,21.13095238095238,6.816661863887847,0.5303809523809524,407,13,83,5,12,133,77,105,0.125,0.7879999999999999,0.087,0.213,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,3,3,8,0,4,6,0,8,3,1,0,0,7,16,4,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,4,3,0,0,1,0,0,4,2,6,0,1,6,3,14,2,13,7,2,20,0,0,0,0,3,8,0,1,8,55,18,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13958538596890588,0.0,0.11065901986422017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19033078008219972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11707185013409713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544093486582646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18968389398808247,0.0,0.10316769799032556,0.15225877443458294,0.1451861460766931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16261524851032413,0.0,0.0,0.19295793050749555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09976415569456636,0.14797120090388355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18562675215611055,0.0,0.0,0.18194077720603688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3658791428071028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12585006430759507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11629278395958388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36743615851465095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17953783890993774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18977459913935188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058516188620358,0.0,0.34413848064519764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3365603083311429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13215602203341004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11689938601533828
bipolarreddit,desperatedark,2020/01/06,"Cannot sleep so I’ll talk about myself/life stuff I’m doing new years resolutions including weight loss. Apparently I’m 340 pounds. I was 300 in march 2019 when they weighed me at the psych wards. Also started Lithium on top of lamictal and seroquel. And I am very reliant on xanax and lunesta to sleep. And last year was a “fuck it, i’ll eat what i want” because not much in the world was on interest to me. All I have is work. Day-in, day-out.

So I’m on day 5 of my strict diet which I formulated years ago and works. It’s basically scrambles eggs with pepper & fruit breakfast, yogurt snack, salad lunch, I have a stash of One Bars and will pick at those bit by bit to keep hunger at bag until the work day is over, and lean cuisine dinner that has some kind of meat or fish.

After 2-3 days, you get used to it. The key is to eat small meals before you get hungry

My apartment has a gym but it is a brand spanking new gym that isn’t open yet. When I moved in in August, I was told it would open in late September. So that’s frustrating. I recently pulled a calf muscle but it’s healed so I can finally for a walk, at least. Did 2 miles in relatively flat loop near my apartment, tonight.

Ooh wee I’m starting to get drowsy, finally.

I also want to have an ongoing extracurricular activity, and I am a nerd. I like school. I like learning. So I decided to start coursework for an associate’s degree at a nearby community colleges. I have all of my undergrad requirement do so I just need to take the courses in the degree concentration which I can do entirely online. It would be my 6th college degree and 4th AA degree. (I got 3 the first time I went 12 years ago thanks to tons if extra credits.) Whee.

Part of the point of going to e-school is to see if I can handle the course load so I can possibly study for the bar in a different state in the following year or not-to-distant future.

I also started and am trying to maintain a blog about the history of involuntary psych holds with the ultimate goal of future reform.  Message me if you’re interested in the link to that.

Ok, now I’m sleepy. Thanks, internet people.",2.1199593967517387,4.126855308584688,3.8892801624129945,86.36983671693739,78.28074245939675,7.187030162412994,23.768039443155452,8.158263871857827,1.3708491415313224,1662,56,347,31,40,558,235,431,0.031,0.899,0.07,0.9257,2,0,0,0,0,0,55.0,0,2,1,8,17,13,2,0,26,1,32,21,2,2,2,39,59,30,0,8,9,0,1,2,0,3,2,0,0,0,16,14,16,3,3,5,1,6,3,4,1,2,8,3,34,9,54,47,10,71,0,1,1,1,6,30,1,6,36,205,50,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17378109431394806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351643615475125,0.0,0.106206745279654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05975327283042084,0.0,0.08340946246855349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21402917074248684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3160802531238896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10241207812747052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20060185854988066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21475651679063607,0.0,0.083377423270745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09061971617800124,0.15363727443429934,0.0,0.055708134889197715,0.0,0.0783971104060268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712641579212159,0.0,0.10207478017614882,0.0,0.07990097462912388,0.11057303268350804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09577715005325856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10418182349445476,0.0720574141121833,0.07268203622548634,0.0,0.1893404263221166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06642221227925488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061482230866188,0.0,0.0679560801959461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09266242921742156,0.11050502410208367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967848532743175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19840689945046827,0.07811080571164603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19618548685489445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27752177180950605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11221168480439983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07370030978258392,0.07878633293249605,0.0,0.18049088958266893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057157389150615724,0.0,0.0,0.09366417686872942,0.0,0.06655047185557962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08465949531684268,0.0,0.08087837703416177,0.1156317752525117,0.0,0.0,0.11936433166289274,0.0,0.09086733260549952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21408344797653728,0.0,0.0,0.13926396625420231,0.0,0.0,0.31561462024758635
bipolarreddit,amoginousmonster,2020/01/06,"Am I bi polar? Little back story, my mother is bi polar, my grandmother is bi polar and has depression. I could name plenty of other people in my family who have mental issues. So it kinda sorta runs in the family. I don’t really know how to explain this. But I’ll get really sad at some points and doubt myself. As an example, I really want to go to UCLA college when I’m older and I’m usually pretty excited about it but then sometimes I would doubt myself and think “I’m never going to go bc of my grades” and then just a couple minutes later I’m just fine. Also I’m usually a pretty happy person and I’m excited about life but there will be sometimes that I doubt myself again. Like right now I don’t even know if I’m explaining these things right bc it’s just so hard to explain. Am I over reacting????",1.362842550193733,3.5096257844311403,4.28069742867207,81.86890806622053,81.57485029940119,7.282705177879535,18.80556533990842,8.313332769828598,1.1853384290243043,634,15,121,14,17,227,98,167,0.08800000000000001,0.772,0.14,0.8708,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,15,10,0,3,4,0,12,4,0,2,1,32,30,18,0,4,7,1,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,9,6,0,0,6,0,0,4,3,5,0,0,0,1,15,5,14,26,1,23,0,2,0,3,7,8,0,7,12,81,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12347311869316875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11872358337867657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12327533164378658,0.17083996381207792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13298394929257298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10197932629515713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2911079656495476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08066729710695758,0.0,0.2632461566657633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16436099812952842,0.13831150647432644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16115282582873236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16970770936501298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10905683964995734,0.07543173212215316,0.1547487287631523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15559824768208247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11908231091127075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10704108097937216,0.1348155725524504,0.0,0.0,0.14595730891198547,0.0,0.0,0.3141593293728053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2967365660150053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2637124330540111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30540984558655193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102576079342599,0.09893288055024448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3400981806346238,0.0,0.09106874751238987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096808809921168,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,khala_lux,2020/01/06,"So my mom... ...attempted suicide today. It's her birthday. 

Just got more details. She apparently called the neighbor who's a paramedic right after she had cut from her wrists to her elbows. It wasn't deep and the bleeding had mostly stopped but she's in a 96 hour hold at the nearest psych ward.

This sounds warped and vengeful but I've known for years she's not been stable and blamed others and abused drugs to cope. I'm hoping she can get proper help.

I highly doubt she's bp but I could be wrong.

I'm torn between dropping everything and going to her (thus losing the job I just got hired onto) and just saying that I can't do this, I can't be what my mom hangs her whole life onto. We have a complicated relationship and she has made me emotionally responsible for her well being from a young age.

I don't really have feelings about this right now. I just found out an hour ago.",2.3763908275174472,4.577908367231644,3.4039215686274527,89.20265204386844,78.32203389830508,5.972615486872716,21.14622798271851,7.048011613610866,0.4908188102359588,699,19,143,8,17,224,114,177,0.166,0.764,0.07,-0.9483,2,0,1,0,1,1,21.0,1,0,0,2,8,6,1,1,9,0,16,5,2,2,0,28,26,11,1,2,8,2,1,0,1,0,3,2,1,0,9,9,0,2,3,0,0,2,5,4,1,0,8,3,24,2,15,14,3,23,0,1,0,0,22,10,0,3,10,94,33,3,0.0,0.18967586869004904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14190668182196006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16346582202111776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12781573642783922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18564906931484412,0.0,0.0,0.1800753322688401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14387507766650084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08094434974674268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17552616210420846,0.0,0.0,0.08363838772839165,0.0,0.09098062828784603,0.0,0.25607098047272897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10730234835196042,0.16913976973728648,0.0,0.15900163335627449,0.3153051525832363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15886076735284552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11307355726797308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17909541413906765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15147735264571574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3749818459447497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10255526444893484,0.0,0.0,0.17187257685450988,0.0,0.27342533487051124,0.0,0.1273069039605369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13383916024430947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1751082266808529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15174291855412375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14393664287127153,0.0,0.0,0.17873043028937072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17502903591191574,0.0,0.103090209370924
bipolarreddit,KnitNotPurl,2020/01/06,"Accidentally threw away my meds Whoops! 

I stored them in a bag in my car then forgot and threw the bag away. 

Worst part? They were samples...

My insurance doesn’t cover this particular med so my doctor is kind enough to provide samples for me. 90 days of kindness lost in a dump somewhere. 

I’ve already called and left a voicemail explaining so I’m going to be fine. It just feels so dumb.",1.3959210526315786,4.057636223684213,2.5897894736842098,90.03152631578949,88.07894736842104,5.145263157894737,22.07368421052632,6.742157984588678,0.6667726315789473,307,11,61,4,10,98,59,76,0.187,0.7170000000000001,0.096,-0.8286,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,2,1,4,7,2,0,4,0,4,1,0,0,0,6,12,6,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,2,0,1,4,1,4,0,0,5,3,8,3,9,6,3,12,0,1,0,0,4,6,1,0,2,37,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2367901355536651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4032027437636541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21910625709319947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13838387597633794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21962779882659286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2217145398629318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10849615709613268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12194858035560688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4468961151670415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2331376327894445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23423523334115906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4766914965885079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23236507807037515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Dustpanyo,2020/01/06,"I don't know how to stop feeling the way I feel. So it's hard to describe it really. I was diagnosed as bipolar when I was young so I've been through the lot of it. Therapist, school counselors, hospitals. In March of 2018 I tried killing myself and things have just kind of gotten worse. Now I don't feel depressed as much as I feel hopeless. Like things won't get better. I've done everything im supposed to but I just keep slowly getting worse. I'm at the point now where I don't feel anything. I don't get happy about big life events. I don't lose it in tragic times like I used to. Now it seems I just cry whenever my brain tells me to cry. All of my smiles are fake. My laughs are fake. I use to be so happy and now I just can't seem to get better. At this point I'm begging for anyone like me that's been through this or something similar and how did you cope. I've lost so many jobs. Relationships, friendships, my family life. Everything is starting to suffer.",0.8817011701170117,3.099030653465352,2.361206120612064,94.48773177317734,84.04950495049505,5.652925292529253,21.063006300630068,6.980632752743323,0.4233188118811877,760,24,169,10,22,246,111,202,0.242,0.643,0.115,-0.9832,1,0,1,0,0,2,23.0,0,1,0,4,17,18,1,0,3,0,18,5,1,4,1,25,38,15,1,0,6,0,6,3,0,1,4,0,0,0,10,3,0,2,8,0,0,0,7,9,0,0,8,6,23,9,23,28,3,20,0,6,0,0,3,8,0,4,14,101,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08266496822714275,0.0,0.09728827699378867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20911903767052234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319770807607624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25972702080273385,0.0,0.0,0.10182615621827083,0.11999486934633663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12098419642110048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2125042125003196,0.0,0.11145106362196658,0.0,0.29888802804252096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2470686376999476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2517032884157695,0.10590548062348533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277022051500553,0.0,0.11731907572541694,0.10508292146241524,0.1307973374138548,0.1231121010892482,0.06497281746095589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670102121337385,0.17327482105347802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13226241320355697,0.12905545941021038,0.10050981534592336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11986057795374938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08690824153723523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2235197829141368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07573732039957465,0.0,0.0,0.1269283297261853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196489976260458,0.0,0.21525337514239787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09101460954107618,0.0,0.0,0.08367955426041321,0.0,0.0,0.09884055602509406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10333298516148462,0.0,0.0,0.13726717375975545,0.15708554205166125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06893736394988917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08026633419618899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2042151514336008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09384070671631256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409607081850902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,quazicrystal,2020/01/07,"Gap in employment history from disability This last month I've been job hunting for a salaried position in software development without many responses or interviews. Almost 5 years has elapsed since my last position at a company with weekly travel. Received social security disability very quickly after two severe hospitalizations in the span of a year.

Although the time spent recovering was absolutely necessary it's a negative factor in finding a new position. I'm behind on advanced education, training and certifications within that time period. Right now I'm improving my resume format and talking with a career coach. Has anyone had success returning to work after social security disability or a significant employment gap? I'm expecting a reduced salary since I left and I'm open to getting new certifications or adding personal projects to my resume.",8.806728553137003,11.596330415492961,9.80370038412292,47.76748399487839,61.74647887323944,13.332650448143404,43.89500640204866,12.40481918309499,7.3196676056338035,717,44,84,29,11,245,98,142,0.047,0.845,0.10800000000000001,0.7605,4,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,3,2,3,0,0,10,0,5,0,0,0,0,13,11,7,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,6,0,2,1,2,1,3,2,0,0,1,4,0,4,3,19,7,0,30,0,0,0,0,6,11,0,4,16,52,7,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18317855597071106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279093179340834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16719524004020905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09557368014788316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815303783273932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29822568335031024,0.0,0.0,0.19875461515733914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854629004528564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14601344717843698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3533509965795235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15972793030362126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1562217195296993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20665949120874733,0.0,0.30264413947403945,0.0,0.0,0.3729493875313919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14703267442306245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21333658966093255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17869660006847984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15093689013954278,0.0,0.0,0.1467358805727122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1763385554321615,0.0,0.13317564410852187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23560259742908515
bipolarreddit,dottywine,2020/01/07,"Don’t talk to me, I am not on meds I haven’t been on my meds in a month and I just want everyone to leave me alone, don’t even look at me funny. Without my meds, it’s too easy for me to revert to a toddler having a temper tantrum.",-0.6788888888888884,0.623591851851856,2.170148148148151,98.7396666666667,84.18518518518519,5.060740740740742,18.20740740740741,5.6839178017228535,-0.5962770370370372,176,4,47,1,5,62,37,54,0.166,0.6990000000000001,0.134,-0.1779,0,1,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,2,0,3,0,6,0,0,0,0,5,8,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,1,1,9,0,10,7,0,5,0,0,1,0,1,4,0,0,1,34,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447087040485719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15605681022470613,0.0,0.0,0.22577002138557245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2501801494452349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1984107311626581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7873417601927497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18859172703025529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899081662350999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13936058183802308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22775979441353075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Ericules,2020/01/07,"Not doing so well post manic episode M25, had a pretty severe manic episode back in August - October. Since it's been over I've been severely depressed, haven't gotten outside, don't talk to anyone, etc. I'm living at home now and have been in the process of getting back on meds, tomorrow I increase my lamictal to 150mg which is the only medication I'm currently on. I've been discussing adding an antidepressant to my mood stabilizer with my doctor for awhile now, and plan to ask him about it on my coming appointment the 13th. I guess the issue is I'm literally doing nothing, my Dad is continually getting upset with me and trying to encourage me to go do something, anything really, and nothing sounds appealing. Even getting out of bed is an issue. At this point it's been about 3 years since I've had a job, and I failed out of classes last semester. College isn't really an option anymore. I guess I feel stuck.

Are there any success stories of adding an antidepressant to a mood stabilizer?",6.2807417102966845,6.998742026178013,7.236348167539269,71.53089223385693,65.91099476439791,10.136300174520072,34.2412739965096,10.125756701596842,3.6067902268760914,801,35,139,18,12,269,112,191,0.08800000000000001,0.8320000000000001,0.08,-0.1428,2,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,3,10,8,0,1,11,0,19,2,0,0,0,15,33,6,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,2,0,5,10,0,0,1,0,0,3,4,3,1,0,9,2,13,3,26,24,2,25,0,2,0,0,6,11,0,3,10,89,18,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09866234940773083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14388471357538649,0.10144636761117186,0.0,0.1193920777305612,0.0,0.13563430464642878,0.0,0.0,0.2231218560115808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12497734146714305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12496095864656162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14850000443880268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1618074282216369,0.09582686063817368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07335901874192942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274017916794279,0.0,0.08245479315854523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3196535896173973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1455314564793045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3028607844974784,0.1439738542104189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11826312888260228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12811216022337465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16115603247297516,0.146157243054806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2784247394100807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11034320410385096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371516287502274,0.0,0.13895072517181026,0.14760296703107145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18588953003716466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32780809176551656,0.0,0.24003058670262145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11169303921004384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166133240430732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0985027662902328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13044827606968235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09342958001408087
bipolarreddit,PM_ME_FLUFFY_CLOUDS,2020/01/07,What's it like being hospitalized? I see my Psychiatrist tomorrow and I suspect he'll want to admit me. I'm a fucking mess... I can't stop thinking about suicide. Please tell me what to expect.,0.700614035087721,3.2016571315789486,3.3378947368421072,82.41192982456144,96.10526315789473,5.691228070175438,24.75438596491228,7.1686216300943375,1.6913017543859643,153,7,28,3,6,53,32,38,0.16899999999999998,0.579,0.253,0.0904,0,0,0,0,0,1,7.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,7,9,1,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,6,1,3,7,0,2,0,0,1,1,3,0,1,0,3,16,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.366836426880634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1938570820136652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4355686927678015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31619927844117035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3317436715699033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4340362412253773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3468218438901343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25425426407574625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340436996303088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,NonBelieverBeliever,2020/01/07,"Hypomania question For all you BPII out there...

When you're hypomanic does it do anything to your appetite? This weekend I kept forgetting to eat. Then yesterday and today food doesn't appeal to me at all--but I feel hungry. When I do eat I feel slightly sick to my stomach...

Curious about this. Thanks for your input in advance.",2.7501843317972354,5.516136322580646,4.0417050691244265,81.86112903225808,80.93548387096773,6.768663594470048,28.211981566820285,7.957251820313856,2.250591705069125,260,12,46,5,7,85,46,62,0.05,0.8640000000000001,0.086,0.2944,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,3,0,1,4,1,0,0,0,0,3,5,1,0,1,8,7,4,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,3,1,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,2,9,1,10,6,1,10,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,6,31,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2468090268665275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2624624615779203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6137871189586911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30329764540054377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3626650741615685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3359796139832474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2761265122767815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2842895770221705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Cryingjupiter,2020/01/07,The cringe factor I can identify so many times I burned a bridge by being manic or depressed. How do you move on from those cringey moments even when it's years later?,5.945454545454545,6.2817861212121215,5.505606060606059,84.9784090909091,66.57575757575758,7.8121212121212125,28.62121212121212,7.1686216300943375,1.4659212121212128,134,4,26,1,2,41,32,33,0.105,0.895,0.0,-0.5106,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,1,0,2,3,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,3,2,0,7,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,5,18,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4258689930340415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3265795100133489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5012946136179735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5255220164090371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2883177256031268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3184095383961337
bipolarreddit,bitwoways,2020/01/07,"A step in the right direction: Wellbutrin I told my psychiatrist about my depression today and she prescribed me wellbutrin. 

Let's hope this works!

Has anyone had any experiences with wellbutrin? Good or bad? I know everyone is different but I'm curious what other peoples' experiences have been like.",5.538823529411764,9.079973764705883,5.7720588235294175,68.81926470588239,76.05882352941177,9.674509803921572,33.990196078431374,9.725611199111238,4.6434549019607845,246,13,35,8,6,78,45,51,0.083,0.723,0.19399999999999998,0.7312,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,1,5,0,0,2,0,6,0,0,0,0,6,10,3,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,3,0,6,3,3,6,0,4,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,2,2,23,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1752906085696254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802368950515471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21522493512429772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22201460455880068,0.0,0.0,0.2693119737499403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463077090456465,0.0,0.5042917775317536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21620298815476127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2560210984005604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14166217120819666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2635845365671014,0.0,0.125932086295925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17870339534659244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2201318725048396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443332679211152,0.2463077090456465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18765767012360746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,check_your_attitude,2020/01/07,"Hypersexuality with BP2 I have been recently diagnosed, as of a month ago. I am still in the process of tapering off my antidepressant (Effexor) and increasing my Lamotrigene to 200mg. 

I recently found out that hypersexuality is a symptom of Bipolar. Is compulsively masturbating a sign of hypersexuality? 

For so long while on my antidepressant, it killed my boners and sex drive. Now it literally feels like I am horny all the time, way more than when I was in my 20s. It feels like the only way I can relieve it is by masturbating, but I'm worried this may become an addiction. 

How does everyone else deal with hypersexuality? Is this something I need to bring up with my psychiatrist?",5.135476539589443,7.7019203629032305,7.362815249266863,62.35285923753668,71.1774193548387,10.960703812316716,32.240469208211145,10.832165505486646,4.318670967741936,551,26,96,20,11,195,83,124,0.051,0.904,0.044000000000000004,-0.4291,0,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,5,4,1,0,7,0,11,6,0,1,1,15,17,8,1,1,1,0,2,2,0,1,4,0,0,0,7,6,0,0,3,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,3,2,13,3,19,13,3,21,0,0,0,2,1,6,0,1,12,68,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21074073376144545,0.0,0.0,0.17136114794111856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2135000638421279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19929818843669195,0.0,0.19620958448426412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16917033558899036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16148899516184592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18471975829763426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19549067758982325,0.2762070412144985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21195876223512253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2138732377927627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18888685727809745,0.0,0.0,0.17107675768520728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15430134621136354,0.0,0.0,0.14333984040630646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14702396588467948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3817483973357304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14882251897378554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543807658255932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.200927206967228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127229156524032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30688722230905124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963196943652729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,741N,2020/01/07,"Need to vent I've been in a depressive state for weeks now. I'm bipolar 2, so it's 'expected'. 

It started with a hypomanic episode during which I somehow managed to develop deep deep feelings for a friend. We slept together, few times. 

Then came the crash. With the crash, probably because of my anxiety ridden depressive state, the friend started to slowly ghost me, and now I feel awful, truly awful.

My doc won't up my SSRI because of the risk of hypomania, but she wants to add a mini dose of Lamictal to my existing meds. The prospect of yet another medication doesn't exactly fill me with joy. 

So yeah, that's my life right now. Technically I only have myself to blame, but man does this hurt.",4.02814789687924,5.947985708955227,5.540013568521035,77.0406037991859,72.50746268656717,9.35033921302578,30.83853459972863,9.800150414767053,3.2829194029850743,551,25,101,15,11,186,90,134,0.168,0.713,0.11900000000000001,-0.4697,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,1,0,0,0,7,7,0,1,9,3,4,5,1,0,1,16,13,6,1,3,2,0,2,0,2,1,4,0,0,1,5,7,0,0,2,0,0,3,2,4,0,0,3,2,13,3,18,9,1,19,0,3,0,0,5,5,0,1,9,61,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22421494531432512,0.1635761154009779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26069238813868395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24455969703749214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36833561462454456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18712035696513052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2162334504250024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33040249193827914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22890489050806906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15103145257440806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2375122074698475,0.2154069500406406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15854908610761467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16262412013894964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305403264877648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826060243168536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30269393635902325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1246835158279411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12611996886280238,0.0,0.17151812089049273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Feeefeee321,2020/01/07,"Mild hypomania? Not really sure if I’m having an episode or what. I seem to be barely sleeping, I fall asleep around 3am, wake up at 5, fall asleep at 7 and wake up for the day at 9am. I’m barely eating because I’m not hungry. Very interested in spirituality. Heavy drug/alcohol cravings. Very productive. Very agitated. All that stuff. 

But I’m not making bad decisions or acting out. I feel very levelheaded, just more energized. It’s been like this for about a week so far. Are mild hypomanic episodes a thing?",1.1227285714285706,3.75277633,3.715714285714285,81.14500000000002,90.7,7.257142857142857,22.142857142857146,8.192908349453996,1.8099857142857136,403,15,79,11,14,140,74,100,0.084,0.82,0.095,0.2715,0,0,2,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,4,0,4,6,5,1,2,17,11,6,0,1,8,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,3,1,0,3,0,0,3,3,1,0,0,1,1,3,4,12,9,2,14,0,0,0,0,0,9,0,4,3,41,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22202906557882246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849477899674192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17346842910761906,0.1266467477202909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339860870561958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409321783560867,0.21258729244914296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050481889409629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10149958308215108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386794204515273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13309446342368889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891341832109256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20790705415088864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23783207619477156,0.0,0.0,0.1958085274815029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380245288629368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6856851802137455,0.0,0.0,0.16665014533773606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ImpartialExhaustion,2020/01/07,"I am experiencing a mixed episode and I'm terrified and sad. For a couple weeks, I've felt really off, but I don't know why. Typically for the past 10 years, I fall into a depression around December that gets to be the worst in January and tapers as the winter ends. For the past few years I've experienced hypomania or mania at least once a year. In June 2017 I was hospitalized for mania. In September 2018 I had a brief 2 week manic episode including delusions. In May of last year, I experienced mania, then suicidal depression leading to hospitalization, then mania directly after, due to medication changes in quick succession.

I am exhibiting signs of hypomania and depression now. For hypomania, I am not sleeping at night but napping in the day, becoming very obsessive with reading old documents I've written, questionable spending habits despite having little money to spend, my vision seems swimmy and lights are irritating me, my teeth have been chattering, and I'm starting to revisit reading on topics that are traumatizing to me.

For depression, I'm eating poorly, stopped exercising or enjoying or pursuing hobbies, not showering often, too distracted to finish important tasks, incredibly moody, and talking to people feels like I'm reciting a script, so I think there's some depersonalization going on.

I'm on meds (weaning off Klonopin from docs orders, Buspar to replace Klonopin, Lithium, and Zoloft) but it feels like nothing's working. 

I should note that things in my personal life aren't well. My uncle died of brain cancer in October, I was let go from my job around Halloween and haven't found a new one, my relationship is rocky, we put our cat to sleep today, and I have been feeling completely directionless and unable to find motivation to decide on or pursue anything conducive to any kind of stable future.

My plan is to see a psychiatrist this week if possible. I'm just fucking scared to death. I don't want this to get worse and I'm just starting to get job interviews. I feel lost, scared, unsupported because I don't know what I need so I don't know how anybody can help, and like a total failure. I've been ruminating lately about deaths of loved ones throughout my past, and it is suffocating me. I look like hell and I feel even worse. I don't know what life is going to be like if this just keeps fucking happening despite all the med changes, inpatient, outpatient, and therapists. I don't really know how to go on anymore.

Thanks for reading.",7.722398822663728,8.356383388520975,8.145386313465785,66.54727740986023,62.796909492273734,11.74422369389257,37.52832965415747,11.429527900616536,4.6814585724797615,1997,94,329,57,27,660,249,453,0.22,0.688,0.092,-0.9974,4,0,0,0,0,0,58.0,2,0,0,6,17,26,3,4,15,0,32,14,4,4,2,67,74,32,4,5,14,0,6,5,0,2,6,0,1,1,11,21,1,2,18,5,4,8,10,15,1,2,10,12,34,11,57,59,6,61,1,6,2,3,9,21,3,11,36,200,45,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05408844649839293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07888014707613555,0.0,0.0,0.06545285052937758,0.1416110493389715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04848551811080788,0.08784327554379863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08879051420439156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16828093889292448,0.0,0.08339389320493619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08800708732376566,0.0,0.05129531525678993,0.0,0.2740232385186981,0.0,0.08254770194060572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08138704865074965,0.0,0.0,0.0704469023071913,0.0,0.0,0.052533981360175085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010835634979591,0.113643672006036,0.07636878241531646,0.0,0.07269612845329047,0.0,0.0,0.08720911656827537,0.0,0.1470628697582523,0.12466568773931568,0.0,0.1808127090045789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07033503340827191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05331252557051975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1578580311005138,0.07069687082760144,0.0,0.0828264021107769,0.2185595346711705,0.06483394078590593,0.0897221277562182,0.0,0.0,0.08133281195296056,0.1123598319288472,0.19429081134550988,0.07971779308312897,0.0,0.0,0.06679173845440821,0.0,0.08682492850927921,0.0,0.0717859898121488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17669717967662305,0.08012598796581105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05897628726952516,0.0,0.07681812421892416,0.0,0.07464085800412829,0.0,0.07631868545505736,0.0,0.08346156459562387,0.08470518470633531,0.10779377342444577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277835532693431,0.05514151110067072,0.06944935834380085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08966694364411609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07995747970770825,0.08910056384143494,0.0,0.23867803850270464,0.0,0.10190793104343764,0.0,0.0,0.0853938547399906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15926247082134576,0.0,0.06338134641980138,0.0724082460111762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591905267344274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11259455972730295,0.0,0.0,0.06649718074628957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08700146787011842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06392948856749295,0.0,0.0732277403493204,0.0,0.09234954183905413,0.05284139478022655,0.05096462480731044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07539255524051368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06562703310982773,0.04691346823044836,0.0,0.19140132973143054,0.0,0.07151405417931131,0.0,0.07177051313140989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05790448178210408,0.0,0.16211167165904894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.204878998738417
bipolarreddit,TranslucentPigeon,2020/01/07,"I'm pretty sure I have some sort of bipolar I'm not going to get into why I'm fairly certain I have it, because I'm fairly certain. Also my mother has it, and is medicated for it, despite it being fairly different for her.

However I don't know what to do. Or how to navigate the healthcare system or mental health stuff. I have Washington state apple health free healthcare but no idea how to navigate the overly complicated fucking stupid system. 

Does anyone have any advice?",4.029148351648352,6.2805678901098885,5.833063186813193,73.50256181318683,73.39560439560441,7.626923076923077,27.85851648351648,8.472884824447931,2.4972296703296704,382,15,60,7,8,131,60,91,0.085,0.8170000000000001,0.098,-0.429,2,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,3,6,2,0,2,0,9,5,0,2,3,15,17,7,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,2,0,1,1,3,2,0,0,0,0,6,5,9,16,1,6,0,0,0,1,2,2,1,4,0,42,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278100147166765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864324029379673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1585350560390898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16300854044875446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14211268447152786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2435691746342821,0.0,0.0,0.20401191179727632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21552310897935129,0.12179977469859672,0.0,0.1324920330050164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4956083928474612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2631731716502869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12812106954486446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23485196589487395,0.2349382239254362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2371750195518178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26687582121037595,0.0,0.0,0.2197204111729037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2103617881053464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mirrorwonderland,2020/01/07,"Graduate School - Stuck and Need Opinions/Advice Hey All - I spent the last year applying for and getting into grad school to become a school counselor. I picked this degree specifically because I love working with kids and due to my own long mental health journey, it’s a natural career for me. (I’ve been doing coaching, intervention, teaching, and mentoring with youth for a long time). 

I also find that the downtime with a school schedule is very helpful for my own mental health. I also like paying into PERA because the rewards in retirement are better than Social Security (you pay more and get more). I will say the insurance is abysmal and I can’t afford to see my therapist now which really sucks. 

Here’s the problem: today a situation came up that feels like that ‘fool me twice’ saying. This is the third school I’ve worked at, and I’ve found them all to have this issue of not supporting their staff and lacking procedures and policies. Today I got a real emotional slap in the face and it took all of my patience to not just quit. There have been other smaller red flags but today was a big one. 

In short, I am feeling like a school environment is actually potentially too unstable for my own mental health. Schools lack structure and consistency as leadership is always changing. This affects my goals and priories, and makes me feel unsupported. I wonder if I would be ‘safer’ in an environment that I have more control over, like in private practice. I don’t know if that’s even a true statement, but I imagine it’s more controlled since it’s not a school that’s always in flux and chaos. 

The other large issue I am facing is that I was informed (only when I tried to add online classes) that this program doesn’t allow any online classes. There was no reason for me to believe this during the application process. 

I recently also found out it is a lot easier to get an LPC and then add School Counseling if you want the flexibility of private or school jobs. (As opposed to doing it the other way around, specifically because the state is so short on school counselors they’ve set up a program for LPCs). 

So here’s my question: if you were me, a bipolar person who really has to put their own mental health first, would you throw away a grad school program that you’re having doubts about and start the process over for an online program and start as an LPC? And then still pursue a school counseling license in the future if it seems like the right thing to do? 

I’m am asking here because I know others will relate to not being able to trust your gut - I’m always paranoid, I make rash decisions, and I can’t always trust my brain to see things clearly. 

I also don’t have anyone in my life that I can really bounce these thought off of, so I just wanted to see what the internet thinks.",6.6093117977528095,7.01364229775281,6.761945224719103,76.30505266853932,65.16104868913857,9.296722846441947,32.043305243445694,9.103633062298675,2.7256181647940068,2233,82,400,35,32,717,263,534,0.065,0.828,0.107,0.9596,2,0,0,0,0,0,52.0,0,5,3,9,21,17,1,1,35,0,39,12,5,8,5,85,74,40,0,13,14,0,3,5,0,4,6,2,0,2,33,29,0,4,18,1,3,5,10,4,0,4,14,9,46,13,55,54,14,53,0,0,4,1,20,24,1,11,26,279,79,32,0.0540527542471944,0.0,0.052747690941722186,0.0,0.0,0.05281972586728978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17290387217103653,0.1799048864381113,0.0,0.0,0.036757726436015006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03779494255877392,0.0,0.0,0.048118411129385995,0.05053202863565597,0.0,0.050784341923102966,0.0,0.0,0.13180022915825326,0.059697020356803465,0.0,0.060898944156015475,0.0,0.047805268581161436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06034075005898167,0.0,0.06182195104075504,0.0,0.0,0.057180646854089835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212495201744255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06080207322627099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035701334396605416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0819920899527774,0.07723059686889333,0.0,0.0,0.049403238133727004,0.04597724514980125,0.0,0.11853211016657522,0.0,0.0,0.08472099944700001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0432309253845537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2298222005761071,0.0,0.0,0.036230421788735326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11283406417527403,0.053639018113535934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05941196026522464,0.04406020903647018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03817905885464748,0.1320372270755058,0.0,0.0,0.09566997313557304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04595371871618088,0.04878472106851741,0.0,0.07216126637303541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21788985175077247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040079432374332494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03662754517417401,0.04110955531538266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04719678009672651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051721185830651,0.0,0.054337947489330934,0.06055145531080223,0.05749175762692504,0.0,0.06152386798720031,0.10388273541188488,0.055575233839623116,0.053370573846244,0.0,0.0,0.04616075678787245,0.0,0.08596983939213111,0.0,0.7111555494808005,0.12921914070399007,0.04920759738717158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04471299687902935,0.060757560495471014,0.0,0.05509997593116274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07651763532832699,0.0,0.04316659936459854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06133842496559842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06275941379666232,0.07182049622692525,0.0346348223670451,0.0,0.042911849121033054,0.03151859568227417,0.0,0.15370707241103465,0.0,0.060054598827390275,0.03669827201787058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04459918311630602,0.06376342982713464,0.04290456037280898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058617906244958114,0.07870209771430711,0.0,0.0,0.0767950515358484,0.0,0.0,0.034808201546032355
bipolarreddit,Lovelyeme,2020/01/07,"Anyone get anxiety about taking anxiety meds? I have ""emergency meds"". I take a benzodiazepine. 1mg 2 times a day as needed. No big deal but I am so put off by the idea of taking them. I worry that I will become dependent on them. So I question myself ""do you really need it?"" Even when I am having a break down. 

My husband usually tells  me HEY you need your emergency meds. And then I get pissy with him. I AM ALLOWED TO HAVE BAD DAYS AND IT NOT BE BECAUSE OF MY MENTAL ILLNESS. And when I am settled I realize my behavior. I feel insane... and then it depresses me. I'm up and down lately.",-0.8106198347107458,1.2731385785123983,2.5678471074380163,87.4281342975207,101.23140495867769,6.0563636363636375,19.273140495867764,7.365786028017652,1.1244112396694208,452,16,92,11,20,162,80,121,0.233,0.767,0.0,-0.9809,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,3,2,0,6,2,0,0,4,0,10,1,0,2,0,17,20,13,0,3,2,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,1,24,0,12,18,0,17,0,1,0,0,11,6,0,2,9,69,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2386612955604971,0.0,0.0,0.1090706693375943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302437424115289,0.09508903996073,0.1722768584090625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20119914037440687,0.16081712189032024,0.13435252263430428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10302882278039244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07887238808588172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.162994931614893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17609184098313124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17596163398882986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5198036187058931,0.0,0.1571995508087425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34699011717834743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15681135892390785,0.17474263255842545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999301204243984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3518514402678759,0.0,0.1363406784993376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09095805139274103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17179911092530215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15841372400752846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Mother_of_dicks,2020/01/07,"Am I in a depressed episode? I have had this depressed feeling for about a month. However, when I have to go out for school or work I feel normalish again. Like not happy but not depressed. Then I get home and the feeling of tiredness, not wanting to do anything, loss of hope, just wanting to be in my room alone. It all comes back. 
Am I in a depressed episode or is this something entirely different?",3.1021978021977996,5.214096692307692,3.5813553113553134,89.23269230769232,75.66666666666667,6.508424908424907,32.93772893772893,7.447530270364453,2.207957509157509,314,17,62,4,7,98,53,78,0.24,0.662,0.098,-0.9247,2,1,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,5,8,0,0,4,0,8,0,0,0,1,17,17,6,0,3,7,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,3,0,0,3,0,0,2,3,5,0,0,1,3,7,3,12,15,1,12,0,5,0,0,0,5,0,3,6,47,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20126338009772984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15991393879309646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14942488439710264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16739484992465992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6694916269948719,0.0,0.0,0.2030295617639139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2947715591186749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10152744047817194,0.0,0.11044008109239772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20686389718007986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19492506426114845,0.19300980452820726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09493798562561204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15510935170104787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19666853062109835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14960183435418895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22923730369263515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414718179675499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SugaFairy,2020/01/07,"Anyone here taking Abilify? What’s been your experience? My new psychiatrist wants me to try Abilify. He’s unbelievably respectful of me and my health and flat old told me if I try it and it doesn’t sit well we can try an alternative. 

Very apprehensive after Lithium messing my health up to an extreme degree. I’m talking 80 pounds and a damaged thyroid after six months of use. 

Currently taking Lamotrigine 300mg a day. Then Benedryl for sleep. Refused Sertraline after a manic episode. 

Curious what pros and cons anyone has experienced with Abilify. Any guidance or advice much appreciated. :)",3.691142857142857,6.963757733333335,5.345714285714287,69.20428571428573,85.95238095238096,8.514285714285714,30.809523809523807,8.841846274778883,3.905495238095239,482,25,72,15,15,162,79,105,0.047,0.8220000000000001,0.131,0.8501,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,1,1,0,0,2,5,0,1,5,0,4,4,1,1,0,12,10,8,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,7,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,1,2,1,9,2,10,8,1,11,0,1,0,0,6,1,0,2,9,44,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19934295750636846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387245726601351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2852781041453706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13156082581659131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19954765946951825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4336773469685345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16282800996664235,0.0,0.14996085350341734,0.0,0.0,0.1970210302701161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21405994499062184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20414376102881235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3067598662715228,0.16396460900702622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1949273378595312,0.0,0.4155005706274917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761874240326888,0.0,0.16831842495945762,0.12032238405048552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18341729606734916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,randomwhatdoit,2020/01/07,"Not doing much I don’t feel like doing much. And now I’m getting used to it, it’s becoming the new me. It started after an intense, few months long manic episode with psychotic features a bit over a year ago, when I crashed into a paralysing depression. Got diagnosed and been on medication since.

I don’t think I’m depressed any longer, I just don’t feel much apart from the occasional sadness (no more pain though) and the pleasure I take from entertainment. I do seek pleasure, but only low effort one, best without leaving the house. I isolated myself and not have much drive to socialise. I do feel lonely at times, but it’s not loneliness that can be satisfied by socialising. I miss love, but I’m not sure if I’m still capable of it. In social situations, and I even tried dating, I’m mostly just going through the motions. My libido went from high to almost non existent (thank you medication side effects) to moderately low. So not even something so basic provides me enough drive to take action. Let alone money and power or significance that used to be of importance. I gave all that up already.

Before I had strong habits of doing sports, eating healthy, going out, therapy, travel. I cared about how I looked. Cared about having a spotless home. Had goals and dreams and was always about the next big thing. Had pretty strong ups and downs, but I felt alive and was actively looking for ways to improve myself. Now all that is gone.

Now I’m just keeping afloat. Errands and looking after my affairs are the worst. Could use a personal assistant to schedule things and take me to places. On my own I’d just rather not. Cause I don’t feel like doing much.

Is that it? The medicated, sedated life is the closest to euthymia I can get? From my old perspective I’d call it a low grade prolonged depression. I take it over the chance of going manic psychotic again, but then I also don’t care much about such life. I’m neglecting myself.

So, any advice on how to deal with such state? I’m in the process of changing my drugs with my pdoc. Could probably use some therapy (social rhythms probably), it just feels like so much effort to go through all that talking again. I try to exercise, but it happens rather occasionally. I try to eat healthy, at half to half now I think.

How to increase the drive and will? Sounds mike low dopamine to me, so maybe targeting that would help?",3.987096281202241,6.131856189845475,4.569139072847683,82.99240448293429,73.19426048565121,7.64836135167261,28.171676006113092,8.463088693708992,2.1330525725929688,1886,75,351,34,39,600,234,453,0.092,0.713,0.195,0.9953,1,3,2,0,0,0,65.0,0,1,0,8,33,28,0,0,19,0,32,12,0,9,4,69,78,33,0,6,22,0,6,3,0,2,9,1,1,1,19,18,2,2,9,5,1,13,13,13,0,3,11,10,36,15,54,60,20,62,0,11,3,1,11,24,0,5,26,239,55,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724364273602739,0.06570945843598455,0.0,0.07422787317046774,0.07677362014556903,0.0818014179000896,0.059279646813651735,0.061679926505936435,0.0,0.0,0.10081833395353217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08186787810230386,0.0630769489498528,0.0,0.0777921222619421,0.0,0.08092791079784846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07569235288918211,0.0,0.22673344259117345,0.07614924861801597,0.0784169494303413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11836937785363902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07642208392504274,0.1915374365542233,0.07523774024226694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08596423823881694,0.15170165130565252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07659340912765081,0.0,0.0979208836555535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874051777204017,0.15886986617859275,0.07117391890152337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.077457003314146,0.0,0.16851321547946554,0.0,0.059286445261067085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06555060595980221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04968602682122309,0.07831965716292523,0.07435581591230983,0.0,0.0,0.08553305525504896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0658878299710329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07849020261109199,0.0,0.07580027831911425,0.10471673519687644,0.10864469496040896,0.0,0.0,0.06560040728918189,0.18674501382749767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06690286338951434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0744709264174031,0.0,0.0,0.22402663977418505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059167775293942015,0.0,0.3814451247888481,0.0,0.0,0.07159269495212366,0.07883531997207165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07778422598933317,0.0,0.050230637736748684,0.056377220224461434,0.07887676907962934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06472517751616211,0.07744734509385243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07541420466876055,0.15984372731320348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06131894282498952,0.083322291911839,0.0,0.15112707756638358,0.0,0.057066886177762226,0.0,0.0,0.052467748007309786,0.0,0.05919822922065135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06986418759197098,0.0,0.22293828734345533,0.05958078799755805,0.0,0.06824654116678762,0.16954226092490704,0.0,0.0984938878893776,0.09499567645731068,0.07282978407888298,0.0,0.04322427708869976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15098289540250812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2560890578204632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058838871649542136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06871683296277438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07145615849147133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05265797087040431,0.0,0.0,0.047735608646776194
bipolarreddit,wegotthekey,2020/01/08,"Has anyone successfully come off of lamictal? I’ve been on lamictal for about three years now, and it turns out it’s causing liver damage for me.  I have to get off of it. I have to taper off slowly, and I’m very afraid of what will happen when I’m completely off of it. 

I’m on lithium and zyprexa as well, so I will at least have something. 

Have any of you gotten off of lamictal? What was your experience with doing so?",1.2147126436781583,3.3737415057471267,3.3708045977011523,88.11298850574714,82.2183908045977,6.625287356321839,21.160919540229887,7.793537801064563,0.9355195402298846,329,10,70,6,9,112,54,87,0.038,0.894,0.069,0.3899,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,0,1,6,4,0,1,0,0,10,1,1,1,0,7,18,7,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,1,3,0,6,2,22,13,1,13,0,1,0,0,2,9,0,0,3,54,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22017506015145316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22638787972330635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3326015167576021,0.0,0.2788996394296363,0.3394672363756321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3167097009873036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16915673662792075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2863092067523302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2492543688062944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3521693590923141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26714459182973666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2911085860281082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20849760342229806
bipolarreddit,artcatswhiskey,2020/01/08,"Missing Side Effects I was thinking last night, while taking my 250 dose of seroquel along with my 400 lamictal, that I haven't had any of the side effects of seroquel. It's been a few months, and while it helps me sleep (and helps with my mood, so says the doc), I don't feel groggy in the morning. Maybe I'm sleeping in 30/45 minutes more than I used to, but it's not sleeping through the afternoon, like some people say. Also, I've lost weight. Don't hate me. But I haven't had any cravings or desire to eat. 

The point of me sharing this is that it makes me nervous that the medicine isn't working properly, or as well as it could/should be. Yes, it makes me fall asleep, which I desperately need. Sure, the doc says my mood is more stable (although still not where is 'should' be, per him). But maybe it could be doing more?

Now that I'm detoxing from alcohol (taking Naltrexone and Valium to deal with that), I'm re-aware of medicine-related side effects. It's like I've been taking lamictal for so, so long that I forgot at one point it really fogged me up; that side effect has just become part of who I am now. So the lack of the highly lamented seroquel side effects has just peaked my concern.

Anyway, would love to hear if anyone else hasn't had the commonly-described side effects of their medications.",6.514560439560442,5.899290653846157,6.357472527472528,82.56038461538462,65.53846153846155,9.274725274725276,32.41758241758242,8.418075326091056,2.2779120879120875,1030,36,210,12,14,324,139,260,0.064,0.79,0.145,0.972,0,0,1,0,0,0,42.0,0,0,1,8,13,12,1,1,11,1,25,11,4,9,1,37,43,19,0,7,10,0,2,2,0,2,4,4,0,0,19,7,3,1,8,0,0,1,8,4,1,1,8,6,21,6,26,29,7,25,0,2,0,1,12,14,0,4,12,137,40,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13532081988074882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101259874520903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17221512600493644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08853731482058208,0.1297395956716756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13984447461354904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20219534010139426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305421176546825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12956630986781242,0.10577675377641807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0640240817904644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12501338921959698,0.0,0.0,0.14271262909744534,0.0,0.16974462945688867,0.1337835004612675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10321414280379752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1237226014929546,0.0,0.0,0.11205682502637516,0.0,0.0,0.13822328955259774,0.0,0.11428164498360667,0.0,0.16904284875644424,0.0,0.2544184073223936,0.0,0.0,0.1275587302568596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10106877864470998,0.0,0.0,0.0938888931088673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11882652949442213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08580260422801225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13711970231760062,0.0,0.0877840176329224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393981611910808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08111754136842067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30208560537561946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38014148670145537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10112079921100904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11934009815049387,0.0,0.2856128226430049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0811345107059606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10936108451604552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15419195111348485,0.11384872970958665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09218260342023214,0.0,0.0,0.08994890842761477,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,CapriciousFatal,2020/01/08,Just had ECT AMA! I know how scared I was before I went through with ECT so I’ll be happy to answer any questions you people have!,0.3945238095238111,2.448587500000002,1.957142857142859,97.65452380952385,84.71428571428572,3.733333333333334,16.476190476190478,3.1291,-1.0741095238095233,102,2,23,0,3,33,24,28,0.098,0.747,0.154,0.3915,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,6,6,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,3,0,4,1,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,14,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2726909827402882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34121800118859696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42686762335401535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22037687585836796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2780000873619688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4492072131773389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4014668796524746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3717272439763953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lohlah8,2020/01/08,"need advice/someone to vent to, please i’m desperate (crossposted r/bipolar) So last December I (26F) attempted suicide during a mixed episode. I was in the ICU for a day then spent the next three days in the mental health unit. Only my parents, fiancé, and a few close friends knew about my suicide attempt. Except, I found out a few weeks ago my parents told my younger sister (22) and they also told her I’m bipolar which I didn’t want her to know that particularly because she is very judgemental. 

My sister and I are not close. I live 10 hours away. Every time I come back to my parents house which is in the city she lives in, she bails on me to hang out. She also told me two years ago she thought she was “so fucked up” for being on 80mg of Prozac. I’m on Prozac and 5 other drugs so what does that make me? Mayor of crazy town? So when I attempted I decided I didn’t want her to know because 1. we’re not close and 2. I didn’t see her as a safe person to talk about mental health with.

So, in December on the anniversary of my attempt, I made a post coming out about how I attempted suicide and how I looked happy on social media and how social media can hide what’s actually going on and shared what’s helped me, hoping it would help anybody on my friends list who might be going through depression or suicidal thoughts because I truly looked really happy at the time. Initially I got a lot of support from the post and was overwhelmed by the amount of love and support from my friends and acquaintances. However, a day later my sister told my mom that she was upset because I didn’t tell her personally and told facebook first. My mom told me and I reached out to my sister and explained why I didn’t tell her personally (reasons above)

Now it’s like world war 3 within my family. My sister has given me the silent treatment since December 10. My parents have taken her side and told me I’m the reason for our toxic relationship even though I’ve tried desperately to hang out with her and have a relationship when I come to their city. She’s blocked me on every social media account. She knows that giving me the silent treatment just escalates me and makes me more upset. 

I was doing so good mentally and now I’m having such a hard time. I’m having suicidal thoughts again and feel like I’m going to end up back in the hospital or worse over this. I can’t stop thinking about it and I’m so upset. I cry in the bathroom at work when I think about it. She won’t talk to me and I feel like we’re never going to talk again. 

In the heat of my anger I did call her out on twitter for making my suicide attempt about her. which i know was wrong of me. I shouldn’t have done that. 

TLDR: Came out on facebook about suicide attempt. Parents had told sister about it (i didn’t know) She got mad I didn’t tell her personally and now has given me the silent treatment for a month. My mental state was good but now is rapidly deteriorating. Having suicidal thoughts again.",2.702829240542336,4.66841669514238,3.9236218829999054,86.99485161657343,76.35343383584589,6.649713978698525,24.49698176416675,7.5680677535414835,1.1710461047375245,2345,79,473,32,53,765,247,597,0.105,0.8190000000000001,0.076,-0.9662,6,0,1,0,0,5,55.0,1,0,2,9,36,26,4,4,26,0,38,8,0,9,1,83,100,43,9,6,7,13,3,3,3,4,6,0,0,4,19,38,0,3,19,0,2,10,13,10,0,3,39,6,88,16,73,55,5,83,0,2,3,2,72,38,1,5,35,308,107,1,0.0,0.0,0.05060555854829794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09193730603750534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08294104320173992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04872194294468316,0.07975062072050006,0.0,0.12644770025509106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05295243012123692,0.05931130457292377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13401224877071513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056963162752413525,0.10033162840382967,0.0,0.04466489386577518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04538095449983996,0.05306835191737256,0.0,0.0,0.06013837784816551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04593046095991788,0.0,0.0,0.03425147026920816,0.0,0.08738456632049621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04888675083867786,0.0,0.05244154369002749,0.07409419107818052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044110066806305366,0.0,0.05685920590832293,0.12019521042340847,0.04794153594313097,0.0,0.04974655636784217,0.11788752663357405,0.0869914259792606,0.08295055524088134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11040680587665863,0.04645424346287093,0.0,0.0,0.11024445448998392,0.0,0.0,0.06951814186843011,0.0,0.0,0.051506319641380215,0.05106931177598956,0.05983673328374212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14249796436552853,0.04227088329816735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07600504408096383,0.0,0.09158246065439674,0.0,0.0870946836568591,0.0,0.0,0.044087495802859485,0.04680352853782449,0.04906893582859174,0.10384609615597908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.209041143849048,0.05501274198060905,0.0,0.12147004033391524,0.041392259152896405,0.0,0.0,0.03845176964888786,0.03999579502968032,0.0,0.05515116933963215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03944005834692499,0.0,0.0,0.2879087616364227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18112030125564046,0.0,0.056924096436107,0.0,0.0,0.0993305342659064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033221320562017154,0.10663654464092724,0.0,0.11135135777152988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041323810728077184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042897160824187264,0.0,0.0,0.15858694522239633,0.04393879486074435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0433552940467657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4537905733358107,0.11769482987554733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250435767650642,0.13597754211142338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0664565405542347,0.05094985034786775,0.16467663735342758,0.0907157892990062,0.0,0.0,0.3964174412654851,0.0,0.03520792133391307,0.0,0.05065736151504496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042787969143371116,0.06117393811460736,0.0,0.04159705638804423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04679343794395612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037752966458338,0.0,0.05284734716804497,0.03683816682146929,0.05669816894271543,0.0,0.03339460836768873
bipolarreddit,kidink420,2020/01/08,"My brother has bi polar Hello, my brother has bi polar and it all started around 2011 when we started smoking more weed than usual and getting involved with gangs. He did hit his head when he was little but he has always been fine. My brother is 26 right now and hes not all there...around 2011 he told my mom he smoked some weed that looked like Crystal's. She told him it was probably lanced weed. Idk what but something messed him up cause hes not all there. He talks and laughs to himself. He has anger issues and was admitted before to a hospital before and hes been on different pills as well. Hes not taking anything now but hes been having anger bursts and throwing up his hands at guys outside. We are scared for his life because we dont want him to get shot. He had health insurance but it was taken away and we live in Chicago. All the insurances and benefits have changed and illegal immigrants are getting the free link cards and insurances its pathetic. Anyway he has no job and no doctor.  We have been calling places and they are charging outrages prices just to evaluate him. He keeps cursing at people outside and he was shot before around 2018. We think it's also the trauma of that and his past that hes not coping well with. From 2011 until 2014 he was in the streets and homeless, hes gotten into fights before too. We dont know what he went through when he was homeless but around 2014 was when he was arrested and in nail for 3 years...maybe there he started talking to himself. We try to sit him down and talk but he gets on high defensive mode and starts yelling and getting angry. When he got out of jail in 2017 he was calm and worked for 2 months...then he started smoking weed again and started acting up again
 When he was involved with gangs he would argue all the time at home and call everyone names and just be so angry. He got an std once and was treated but idk if it was the weed and coke he did that messed him up but hes not all there now. My mom thinks he may have personality disorder or scryophenzia because in january of 2018 he told my mom god told him we were winning the lottery and then he started having a panic attack running outside and saying we were gonna get killed and we had to go. He then started yelling about all this religion stuff and saying we were in heaven but not really in heaven and talking about dying and it was very scary. He was definitely going through some kind of crisis and he calmed down after that. Anyway sorry this is all over the place but I'm scared for his life and I just want him to get better before something bad happens. We dont know what else to do. My stepdad can barely afford to pay for him to have sessions but we are calling some places now to see what we can do. Maybe something  afforable until he can get an insurance. He recently was at the doctors and my mom hoping he is sent insurance because a social worker spoke to him there and we are hoping he gets approved. Does anyone know any kind of remedies or vitamins that may help? My mom gave him some melatonin but she felt he got more aggressive and is not giving it to him anymore. I want to get him into therapy but its expensive everywhere here in Chicago. Can anybody give me any useful information while I wait for doctors to contact me? Sometimes he will pee on the toilet seat or use someone else toothbrush and it's like his mind is like a kid again. Idk if it was not coping with the trauma well or the laced weed back in 2011 or being in jail for 3 years or getting shot and living but hes not all there. Hes slowly loosing it and I want him to be better before it's too late. He writes down rap verses but he repeats the same thing over and over. He has an obsession with heaven and I think hes scared cause he thinks hes going to hell or maybe because of what he believes in. Not trying to turn this into religion or anything just trying to say everything I remember to see if someone can help. I'm scared maybe he witnessed something when he was in a gang or did something and hea holding alot of anger and sadness.. we try to talk to him but he keeps to himself he always says hes fine then he gets mad. Nobody wants to be yelled at or get hit so we do what we can. Sometimes he will spend all day looking at the ceiling talking to himself and about heaven. He doesn't work or have money so hes home mostly. He still says his pants and says hes not doing nothing wrong. Hes been violent before. The cops here in Chicago suck. This is a sanctuary city unfortunately. Anyone recognize these symptoms please comment. Obviously he does have bi polar but you know what I mean...I feel like it's more than just bi polar.",2.8484843964974123,4.840458985058699,3.7107433362050135,88.56562021833332,76.01173959445038,6.1805505908372025,24.94977562330432,7.045059514047949,1.0176910647927897,3707,128,737,39,83,1183,344,937,0.152,0.748,0.1,-0.9959,3,0,6,0,3,0,64.0,19,1,1,7,45,53,14,6,25,0,95,18,3,4,11,178,170,95,2,11,47,8,3,4,0,6,10,10,2,3,34,77,1,5,14,1,6,8,17,27,3,0,45,17,83,27,97,113,20,95,5,1,4,5,164,47,2,24,43,470,117,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03645328199960218,0.0758586083248336,0.0,0.0,0.061996981356707566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045206798533572484,0.06374638957262366,0.0,0.0750230301795367,0.16231668968405047,0.0,0.051858058743284516,0.04282740262649132,0.03505106464234488,0.03806049964479337,0.11114964311187513,0.0,0.27151870025139496,0.05135723930118272,0.0,0.08063018669388558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396382148036343,0.0,0.0,0.09365406790146676,0.04822152837918845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029397726404992337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04730870148399292,0.047625282244032216,0.052242888846597314,0.13997059762812694,0.07978123582410299,0.0,0.16027133043066724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0761586927232125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043557195021235035,0.04096770556618042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02304849694230671,0.032565016518247294,0.04376751678177248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30960293940261524,0.08745610992016145,0.07771883050994356,0.0,0.1093723878610196,0.0,0.0,0.04513504647152817,0.04030953038247823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0467820445236845,0.04845335955855675,0.0,0.0,0.06110760925575321,0.04816169970862217,0.09144836959918336,0.09054983261216054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04757755750517517,0.04523480541928625,0.08103380419340749,0.05043162904832391,0.09493685324568472,0.1002064749390932,0.0,0.05142041823988849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06439425474664452,0.08907960637490342,0.04568685968563973,0.0805025144507023,0.0,0.07655768342067408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18317988229579246,0.049654031115273535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0460265596923308,0.2669354919991153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04373880584152294,0.0,0.0,0.048545170891635535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053482670315009855,0.0,0.0,0.043514815762067456,0.031602009828388566,0.03980194342061436,0.14287584673209666,0.05003723271024466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04914695667749692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029202096334881626,0.0,0.045008421256713206,0.0,0.05163746532327005,0.03892824523533695,0.0,0.2175000080314102,0.1825490113610034,0.0,0.07264864137793642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046466858967810415,0.07724587094403869,0.17546286174887366,0.09016692333079857,0.051027239164729,0.2581151159698292,0.0,0.036403215262755695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05218245013284663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04737893563525571,0.03427328220504749,0.2198307901659075,0.0,0.0,0.05212895302644136,0.0,0.030283796070473813,0.11683282100269972,0.0,0.0,0.026580231945316682,0.0,0.0,0.17422878008494014,0.0,0.12379340654138472,0.049581994379906486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0787393915409759,0.050204024233946466,0.037611340421164687,0.13443228653960396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12295570784684312,0.04225656232376029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06637097772112167,0.0,0.0,0.03238136468153895,0.04983863866536307,0.0,0.029354419213962694
bipolarreddit,starter_kit,2020/01/08,"Judging my own disability Over the course of the last year I have only once experienced any acute symptoms of mental illness.  Truth be told my life has been pretty excellent.  I don't say this to brag only to give hope to anyone who is struggling right now.   Through my dedication to treatment and a focused effort to remove  stresses from my life I've been relatively comfortable.  I've also been horribly fortunate and had some tremendous support available when I needed it most through no doing of my own.

With that said, I'm a bit of an anxious mess right now because I applied for SSDI last year and I've been hired for a job at the local Uni.  It's somewhat  related to my former career and it doesn't give me the impression that  the demands will be severe.  The problem is that it pays too much money.   In order for me to continue pursuing my disability claim I need to  earn less than $800/mo and even after negotiating a PAYCUT the job still  pays $900 which according to my lawyer disqualifies my application.

There's  a part of me that doesn't really care about the above details because  there's an ever bigger part of me that is now questioning how disabled I  really am.  I have good hygiene, I make it on time to appointments, I  track conversations, I have a healthy romantic relationship, I am sober,  I get regular sleep, I attend group support meetings, therapy  appointments and doctor visits.  I ALWAYS take my medication...  BUT I  wonder...  Are the scars on my wrists an indication that i am disabled?   Probably.  Is the fact that I constantly questions peoples motives and  remain suspicious of intentions despite being medicated any indicator  that I am disabled? Maybe.  Does the fact that I have proven to be a  danger to myself and others while untreated say anything about my  ability to work? I don't know.  How about those three hospitalizations?   Is that enough for me to to be convinced I am not fit to work?

It's a horrible internal struggle that I'm facing and I don't know how to see my way out of it. Any insight you might have would be great.",5.7241284841542575,7.06903706958763,6.710836197021762,72.54443489881638,67.47938144329896,9.871859488354335,33.18480336006109,10.082433333333334,3.56929809087438,1645,73,284,40,27,549,211,388,0.10099999999999999,0.8029999999999999,0.096,-0.4319,2,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,0,1,0,6,17,17,1,3,22,0,37,10,3,6,4,38,56,16,0,5,2,0,0,0,0,3,7,3,0,0,23,11,0,0,7,0,3,3,7,6,0,1,7,5,42,11,44,40,11,32,0,0,1,0,15,11,0,8,16,206,65,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08222452271035055,0.08555385853938936,0.0,0.0,0.2097618618370252,0.0,0.0,0.1161564941215378,0.0,0.07189361519182619,0.0,0.08461148777857573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253553295201166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11225199873772662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10483108510041778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11111108965408786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10523986640929306,0.08997782472577337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10623977784613484,0.0,0.06791114956592018,0.09300590450967186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05371881809704866,0.19726720069725695,0.0,0.08623991458172836,0.0,0.113358593874651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10212272201057628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20406449468868015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11301354943079693,0.16762283518825222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14524856395342822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06863265248135057,0.0,0.10329576354794408,0.0,0.0,0.20715916867433026,0.10361762775280073,0.10907498333101152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07558398446253459,0.1524783525598011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094991530941081,0.0,0.1563973563899546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2226864714299572,0.0,0.07128192668236058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10460414860369073,0.11085654936413024,0.09838414294693884,0.0,0.0,0.2303621983629281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13173729779960675,0.0,0.0,0.11038940303226692,0.0,0.17561416744105454,0.0978046588215988,0.16353200012804775,0.0,0.0,0.0819336358098214,0.0,0.0,0.1161564941215378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10289351188157583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0821115914922256,0.0,0.11777911155366284,0.21497802383259115,0.0,0.0,0.2333561488599597,0.0,0.10686857685889116,0.07730728528251406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11758278121668715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05995473563280058,0.0,0.0,0.09824820632780866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08161314039889013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11150309828813973,0.14970728739865166,0.0,0.0,0.07303985017531205,0.0,0.0,0.1324244609488916
bipolarreddit,Lgagnon111213,2020/01/08,Failing Marriage My husband is bipolar with the hypersexuality. Ive had him force things I am not ok with sexually but allowed him to do. I allowed him to try different things I wasnt comfortable with. Wr have been together for 8 years and no cheating or other women that I know of (half dont believe it) but I caught him masturbating to porn right after having intercorse with me. Now porn I've never been ok with. We had guidelines of no games porn cheating lying etc when we started to date. Fast forward to 8 years later with 4 kids and a marriage now and hes been doing it for our entire relationship. The videos i have found are a lot of shit hes teied with me that ive said no countless times to and still allowed. I feel shallow. I feel disgusted with myself and body. I feel betrayed and lied to. And idk how to feel better myself. I also dont know how to help him. Therapy is being refused and I dont want to be with him point blank if he does nothing to help himself or us. He loves me so much i can see it amd feel ot but lately i've fallen out of love from his actions cause by this bipolar hypersexuality and idk where is the 1st place to start with any of this. He knew i had big issues with this and i try my hardest to keep up sexually but its ripping me apart so badly emotionally I'm refusing to even leave my house at this point. I just had our 4th baby and think about offing myself daily countless times from feeling like I married and had kids with the wrong person and I'm just gonna keep geting mentally and emotionally abused from the non stop cycle.,2.8555659397715445,4.607162323987541,4.449158878504676,84.33974039460024,75.29283489096574,6.749325025960541,25.28452751817238,7.526774132740827,1.2374328141225337,1250,43,253,16,27,419,171,321,0.228,0.6990000000000001,0.073,-0.9949,4,0,0,0,1,0,19.0,5,0,0,2,14,14,4,0,7,2,29,9,2,6,1,64,53,27,0,2,10,1,6,1,0,1,2,1,0,4,13,29,0,5,11,2,0,4,9,7,0,1,13,8,43,7,43,37,3,31,0,1,1,5,34,11,1,4,19,174,56,1,0.0,0.13062570872189272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08816518898693748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07497233826563834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09205237388932754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12421160621108301,0.0,0.09750528975684616,0.0,0.12246053993890975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11325494088595915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11518556846670652,0.0,0.0,0.09647866184065712,0.0,0.3876290792352217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2480280497819765,0.0,0.0,0.12295552777070815,0.07281768429220478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3344678411352092,0.07876110677017628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12088110882235248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14779365870629166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12721125017659354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11507014235443686,0.0,0.19598676083871466,0.0,0.0,0.12117870210995513,0.0,0.12436440954635054,0.11673658530023973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053861544832993824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09372880420530756,0.19900603028375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11110393143156336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08104487633208539,0.0,0.08502996083368787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10578581328076077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09626419546432476,0.11518556846670652,0.0,0.2084397617950824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11836496290503705,0.0,0.09415108626270699,0.10487097941796536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08785328570415014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11316786346593047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15606803236615033,0.0,0.08804409856451463,0.0921721633985225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12607805780882894,0.0,0.14648758396153932,0.07064238923461315,0.0,0.0,0.12857284964360968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14970214592992026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13261462394676685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06502705544504693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12053874866003494,0.0,0.14199203888577455
bipolarreddit,seeeeseeeee789,2020/01/08,"Hypomanic insomnia is so frustrating So I’m pretty run of the mill hypomanic and looking back on it, I probably have been for about 2 weeks. I wouldn’t have noticed it but my insomnia has been getting so much worse these past 5 or so days. I’ve been  sleeping like 3 hours a night and I don’t feel tired at all. It’s honestly getting a little annoying cuz I’ll be sitting at my desk at like 2 am thinking about how all I have to do is lay down and turn the lights off and close my eyes, but it’s like I physically can’t get myself to do it. Like there’s gears in my chest grinding together and I have to keep doing things to make it bearable. 

It’s the first week of the semester and I feel like this lack of sleep is making me scatterbrained because I absolutely cannot get my class/work schedule to stick in my head, and it’s making me feel like time doesn’t even exist any more. Sometimes I walk out into my dorm hallway and I’m surprised that everyone’s asleep and I check the clock and somehow it’s 3 am. And sitting in class is agonizing, it really is. 

Anyway I know there’s not much I can do to fix this but I just wanted to vent about how annoying the insomnia aspect is. Like I can feel my thinking get more and more messed up as I sleep 3 hours a night for almost a week and yet I still can’t do anything about it. If i sit still in order to lay down it feels like my skeleton wants to come out of my skin. I’m pretty frustrated. If I have to be hypomanic why couldn’t I be hyperfocused on school instead of just frustrated and scatterbrained??",2.3634480799818256,3.9153932975460144,4.067968643490119,87.4025142013179,76.1472392638037,7.651715519200184,24.95750965689616,8.401726058763845,1.4816992956146329,1229,42,269,23,27,413,152,326,0.11599999999999999,0.764,0.11900000000000001,-0.3989,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,1,22,16,5,0,10,0,34,12,8,6,2,52,59,28,0,7,9,0,6,8,0,1,4,0,1,0,17,19,0,1,8,0,1,3,8,6,0,1,3,9,32,10,38,51,8,42,0,0,2,0,0,18,0,5,25,180,49,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039313031013342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07058117373397224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08541082825765718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07980857225444174,0.0,0.06326979232916714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08940642001589323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06693635687957758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06855271884042641,0.0,0.0,0.09917637542608147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26239825413949325,0.2224440969439631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0882842395972564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2711315488683032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1065191091533478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2044256870748589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09225386280006008,0.0,0.0,0.05704060473728102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40565479390203774,0.10402545770021986,0.0,0.0,0.08715797182277532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20784311378471226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15259608087386922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1948009124868713,0.0,0.0,0.11816629707354508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09907988111979214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21118472694414706,0.111903831826648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06649092229021819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050416381419878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3115966981390105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026515669214967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16577462997125514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0689538692045703,0.1330096636411389,0.0,0.0,0.060521139183454815,0.1192920376453353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11289437913984475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12243678145701024,0.0,0.24976369966715156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09365488166599292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07556080000855174,0.0,0.1057714983736126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,climbingmountains3,2020/01/08,"Navigating grad school with bipolar 2 I’m seeking any advice or insight anyone may be able to offer. I’m a grad student and my mental health has significantly declined since starting grad school in August. I’ve been severely depressed, probably my lowest low, and have been having a hard time with managing my mental illnesses while working a stressful and emotionally taxing job, being a grad student, and trying to process years of abuse and trauma. 

I have always been high functioning but have been in a steady decline over the years. I don’t know what to do because outwardly I seem happy and high functioning. The only thing that has been keeping me alive is knowing I would impact others’ lives negatively by dying. I have been experiencing suicidal ideation constantly and have reached out to campus resources to just be told to “hang in there.” I finally got in with a decent psychiatrist off campus and she was amazing. I have been unable to find a good therapist and don’t want to scare others in my grad program, so I have been self-isolating. I feel like I’ve been screaming for help for months and feel defeated with constantly trying to get appointments with decent mental health professionals to constantly meet obstacles.

Anyways, I feel like I really really need help. I come home every night after classes and work and get all worked up and hopeless. That’s when the suicidal ideation kicks in. I guess what I’m curious is how others have handled higher education while struggling with bipolar 2. I’m also curious as to what hospitalization looks like. I’m in my 20s and am still on my parent’s insurance thankfully. I would never want them to find out that I had been hospitalized because they are abusive and manipulative. I don’t want them to have any power over me. I also am worried that I’d end up in the hospital forever if I went in since meds don’t work for me. 

Sorry for all the word vomit but would grateful to hear others’ thoughts and insight. 

I",6.769125570776257,7.9639836054794575,7.184537671232874,70.64073344748861,65.0,10.13812785388128,34.11244292237443,10.222266870305534,3.7429292237442926,1596,69,261,37,24,521,189,365,0.156,0.71,0.134,-0.8422,4,0,0,0,1,1,27.0,0,0,3,6,9,16,0,3,12,0,41,6,0,2,3,57,69,28,3,8,5,1,4,3,0,4,6,2,1,0,12,25,0,1,11,0,1,3,6,9,0,0,16,8,32,7,45,46,2,42,0,4,1,0,11,21,0,5,21,177,44,21,0.0880621822948798,0.20867857196963904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0860533453451594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14084659073045047,0.07327479018367934,0.0,0.0,0.11977060748284407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061575125408304524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10736377792666756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0758577724885278,0.0,0.2854918031920732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07584782857180021,0.0,0.09139464199653848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09905810223604702,0.0779969552727639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07419618667421489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335806560224346,0.1258232812542363,0.0,0.09646781625857646,0.16097447847314608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920177112330759,0.0,0.0,0.07386238042700531,0.07043137181466598,0.0,0.09701042201602876,0.0,0.0,0.09374383056252553,0.07888641816082716,0.0,0.0,0.18721196361232656,0.09925247961079148,0.0,0.11805244904224653,0.18608506108770093,0.0883335489932272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08738812771002763,0.07827371383655439,0.0,0.0,0.09679334472847756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12906820222990384,0.0,0.07776052034034946,0.0,0.0739500541003465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09781723233169208,0.0,0.2662379019207445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07029039374554723,0.0,0.0,0.06529699233979316,0.06791898384714548,0.0,0.0,0.08264039258791403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06697525786916916,0.0,0.0,0.09778263198181084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949459268561625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128297778783031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08816560704908609,0.17824725979590084,0.0,0.0801685033769963,0.09186806178188246,0.0994852000895881,0.0,0.14569189440761388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09857840332206344,0.062330865881880734,0.0,0.07032657253524928,0.0,0.10087493228772854,0.0920617132842853,0.0,0.19265146872008665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08107582592980063,0.0,0.10224698103646286,0.058504600915618474,0.0,0.0,0.0699115361009182,0.05134976667345507,0.0,0.0,0.08414718900467258,0.0,0.119576882449521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15582407018996705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08163452524460472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25644127010480666,0.08943142076050314,0.0,0.18767054302451916,0.0,0.0,0.11341831633168707
bipolarreddit,gseeee,2020/01/08,"Diagnosed bipolar at 16. 20 and don't get treatment and don't know where to start.. hi im posting in hopes of some support and possibly some clarification for myself. 

I was told I was bipolar four years ago at 16. I was on lithium and a few other meds for probably a year and a half until I finished high school. I got a medical marijuana card soon after for PTSD. I don't sleep/ eat very well on my own. 


 I always just felt anxious and depressed never manic. I've got adhd as well which makes me think I am manic but read as I'm just hyperactive sometimes. I dont know. I want to see a doc I just don't want to call. 

I'm almost 20 now and I'm falling apart, have been for a few weeks. I don't know what to do. Am I bipolar still technically? 


All I know is all I want to do is lay with my boyfriend and/or cry. I know it makes him sad seeing me all messed up so I try to keep it to myself but weve have more than a few days where I'm just laying in bed all day and he doesn't even know how to help. 

I know what I want but I'm so sad if I say anything to anyone I just start crying. I just need someone to brush out my hair and give me a bath but I'm not a baby anymore I have to take care of myself I just don't want to

I dont know what I'm asking for but please help. Anything",-0.9084469696969713,0.9801423472222268,1.8671085858585847,97.2205681818182,89.06944444444444,4.602020202020202,17.407828282828287,5.941861826196648,-0.5455569444444452,988,25,246,8,33,343,141,288,0.11900000000000001,0.8,0.08,-0.8137,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,1,0,0,0,18,9,0,0,9,0,23,8,2,3,5,55,63,21,0,8,14,0,2,0,0,0,5,1,2,0,7,11,1,1,11,2,0,1,11,4,2,2,9,6,36,5,33,54,11,29,0,3,2,0,11,12,0,5,15,155,43,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1216338753454854,0.0,0.08971591178835797,0.0,0.101346464878977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08421422086304378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11433766772920408,0.10037240071463563,0.0707678752515835,0.0,0.16657321226616792,0.0,0.09461700578421398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10334598117978502,0.0,0.1031895966433185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22234726271385885,0.13054321343413802,0.0,0.08717139648324176,0.1027252792428143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2372330228030924,0.0,0.0,0.10356235076830944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06684776871839754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09717677153010827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05287766664134395,0.09708915466918784,0.0,0.0,0.16189259871831152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135676881395988,0.1069331511865801,0.0,0.10052364222210186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10932337986968342,0.0,0.0,0.08995945001382581,0.0,0.0,0.44497574626162856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13511594808596314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124206836641009,0.10195769239626104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07504539174812415,0.07805882885722658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11109738656928636,0.0,0.11409824565383908,0.09693050442934577,0.0,0.10912071169727057,0.0,0.1183082212883578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10123665928789227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08048567424120419,0.0,0.10242918517443778,0.1613013701544206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10128236274673452,0.0,0.08575428656143512,0.0,0.10009855655940364,0.0,0.1432728853348697,0.0,0.0808258542559905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11485108091760785,0.0,0.0,0.07609677585852621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06485081396327735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096709795307229,0.0,0.06871445120126128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0835082477553489,0.29847925027288,0.0,0.08118397204379063,0.0,0.18199857806770356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13035090400843852
bipolarreddit,iamthegaykid,2020/01/09,"Am I manic or not manic game This is my favourite game to play with myself, I’m not always sure when I’m panic often it’s too late and I’m like well clearly I was manic. I have dropped out of school again for the 3rd time after a manic episode just when I thought things were going on the up I never fail to hit that mania and ruin my life again.",-0.3509356725146233,1.7391164210526318,1.6770175438596482,98.07967836257308,88.73684210526315,3.3777777777777787,15.023391812865498,3.1291,-1.2774309941520468,272,5,62,0,9,90,56,76,0.114,0.7290000000000001,0.158,0.3586,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,8,7,0,1,3,0,5,1,0,0,3,13,11,5,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,1,3,0,1,3,3,1,0,3,0,8,4,9,7,0,13,0,2,0,0,2,3,0,2,9,43,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27538663701554794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18809315417674816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3733391994848963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23376802777431946,0.16169116312553464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552580567517571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3883122309229141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3349508972279736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3119274739558018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21987623923183125,0.0,0.0,0.26274661131286503,0.192986421664098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2975743042091778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,vito3232,2020/01/09,Friend? Anyone looking for a friend to chat/text with?,1.3230000000000004,3.5650992999999995,0.5200000000000031,100.24000000000002,106.0,2.0,15.0,3.1291,-1.358,43,1,8,0,2,12,9,10,0.0,0.47,0.53,0.7757,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3694623415319081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8164650935271597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4437142427750616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,housesoftrees,2020/01/09,"Making one bad decision after another but I’m still taking my meds I can’t tell if I’m hypomanic or not. Ever since I was fired from my job in May I’ve been all over the place and in and out of the hospital. I got a new job about a month ago and got fired on Monday after I had an outburst. My first reaction after this was to go buy drugs, so I bought an eight ball of cocaine. Went out last night and did molly, drank, smoked weed, did more coke. I’ve been binging on coke since Monday and haven’t slept or eaten in 3 days. Can’t stop crying. Blown quite a bit of money. Before this week I’d been sober for almost 7 months. I’ve been hypersexual since last week too and I’m not being safe when meeting people to hookup with, which has been 4 people. I’m not psychotic and I don’t feel hypomanic but I’m starting to reflect and realize this isn’t all that typical of behavior and it seems like things are escalating. My thoughts feel really aggressive and are kind of bizarre, but kinda numb and racy. I feel really disgusted with myself today. My mom called the police on me for a welfare check on Tuesday because I sounded hysterical to her on the phone. Talked to the police and said I was fine and not in danger of hurting myself. This wasn’t really true since I practiced hanging myself on Monday, but the thought of going back to the hospital right now sounds like a fucking nightmare. 

I take depakote, Vraylar and klonopin. Have been taking the depakote for 5 years and it was a lifesaver. Starting to wonder if the depakote is losing its efficacy if that’s possible. I’m on 3 mg of Vraylar. 1 mg of klonopin. 

I see my doctor in a couple days and my therapist next week. I’m embarrassed to say what has happened, but at the same time I keep thinking maybe this isn’t an episode and I’m just acting like an idiot.",2.948717566619913,4.730879725543482,4.398916549789625,84.66803295932681,75.11413043478261,7.248387096774191,25.457924263674606,8.049812674583475,1.5311845021037866,1441,50,287,23,31,479,192,368,0.136,0.797,0.066,-0.9785,2,0,3,0,0,2,32.0,0,0,0,3,9,17,5,1,21,0,28,9,1,1,4,59,64,29,0,3,15,1,5,3,0,1,3,4,0,0,13,21,4,3,11,1,4,5,11,10,0,3,24,10,25,7,43,38,5,55,0,2,1,1,9,18,1,10,35,176,38,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09134144354516767,0.0,0.10318272662806124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10804961884402976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792337423641927,0.08603663979623585,0.06281408479358183,0.0,0.0876820431736994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11249631896710187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10521847147718842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11401517114775175,0.11318794815634912,0.13290848103096933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054689244981438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11949722004852485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09320833497129907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15630498136730264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08764836279449119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952616361639249,0.0,0.0,0.11712347601622455,0.0,0.16482587504759713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09112062579943396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11030971256736748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20450864788604264,0.09158939435600197,0.0,0.10730347633789483,0.0,0.1679876718949679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15102488298356748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11527881174972655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06878203374480632,0.0,0.1035205902318991,0.0,0.11445759537547436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12068277079016555,0.16449595340889664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09951961650371244,0.10958744905209504,0.09669891890238264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06982463514805642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14287414835943274,0.0,0.10765805209770554,0.0,0.0,0.11616555253407365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10959896387353396,0.0,0.0,0.19803604265107616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0879981987748391,0.09801753393247403,0.08194396649772112,0.0,0.0,0.08211196710832573,0.0938065195942849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3409530918447434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14586879747976314,0.0,0.08229031011722418,0.08614860091596066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23242664152312026,0.08282209765215838,0.09006416453051466,0.0,0.0,0.1196409191393938,0.0684572214893256,0.06602582356247698,0.0,0.1636093379535173,0.060085229120013774,0.0,0.09767275966525753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2479647495542472,0.0,0.0,0.0955219365380534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11174578851064043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06635634360845566
bipolarreddit,fiumini,2020/01/09,"im having too much trouble managing anger hey, i wanted to know if anyone else experiences things like this and if it is linked to bipolar (if not then ill just accept im a meanie). 
i dont know why, but sometimes i get ridiculously angry out of nowhere. everything annoys me and i can feel my blood BOILING. im generally a sweet and calm introverted person, and its really hard to make me angry because i dont care that much about anything. but in these moments i feel like a volcano, i want to scream and i tend to get physically aggressive for no reason. its really really hard to control it and i hate when it happens.. is this because of BD?",3.1177911931818163,5.0381341171875045,4.988806818181821,80.02096590909092,75.015625,8.092045454545454,27.26136363636364,8.841846274778883,2.2820062500000007,509,20,97,11,11,174,81,128,0.25,0.615,0.134,-0.9593,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,4,13,5,0,3,0,6,4,1,3,0,26,19,13,0,5,7,0,4,2,0,0,2,1,0,1,10,7,1,1,7,0,0,0,4,7,0,0,0,6,12,6,12,19,2,5,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,3,5,62,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10314263216262523,0.15114173521535978,0.1213884089344043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17984182055415762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15039658279627824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16544534549560214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3457619480706329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12322592827924153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132572746914406,0.14429337927098193,0.0,0.0,0.14917128062999666,0.10538138842466692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15413608789629504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13044287191046328,0.0,0.2642805112303311,0.14563588296990576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4780093135446255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16213560727515927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14413216395652814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09846427127556744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21687408780331116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12880030499336986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2834966278880609,0.15166515711349934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458914594017755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09799928935665614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17401079464164332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13310510278719356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bluegomme,2020/01/09,"Does anyone else feel like they have become good at internalizing their disorder over time? As the title states does anyone else feel this way?
I feel like I continue life on the outside as someone that’s very happy and always bright & shiny. Not many people know I’m bipolar but when people find out they’re often shocked because I don’t “appear” as someone that has a mental illness.  

I feel like as I’ve gotten older I have learned to internalize feelings, emotions, symptoms etc. Sometimes I feel like it’s good, as if it’s a coping mechanism to help me continue life with a mental illness. But I feel it’s also very negative with the aspect of not letting anything out. Leaving all these things to build up over time and waiting for it to come to the surface breaking me into pieces, reminding me that I’m actually suffering on the inside. Perhaps this could lead to dissociation/detachment over time or this is just a never ending cycle, I’m not sure. Everyday I feel like I’m someone else on the outside but on the inside I’m constantly fighting demons just to make it though the day. 

I’m suffering in silence and probably will the rest of my life. Maybe internalizing everything is good. Maybe it’s bad. I want to know if anyone else feels this way so I know I’m not alone.",4.017463517665131,6.0904613185483925,5.097972350230414,79.54672043010757,72.91129032258064,7.627035330261138,28.745007680491554,8.418075326091056,2.2743910906297997,1029,42,184,18,21,338,130,248,0.13699999999999998,0.733,0.13,-0.7927,0,1,0,0,2,0,22.0,0,0,2,1,7,16,1,0,13,0,9,7,0,2,3,45,34,18,0,4,12,0,9,5,0,1,7,0,0,0,15,9,0,1,14,0,0,3,7,5,0,0,1,11,16,11,31,30,4,33,1,2,2,0,4,14,0,5,17,110,31,2,0.0,0.0,0.08422872421908828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0893939051871813,0.0,0.06902421843259947,0.07181906352168052,0.09351975193380448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18105549665727114,0.26531261963445146,0.07102798072673341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07206748191191023,0.05261540816093919,0.09532557301683334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0743507305488023,0.0,0.09327334315559943,0.0,0.06891365107474715,0.0,0.0,0.05566453766281272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09892180822941816,0.0,0.15106561456951156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28841267253388114,0.09709014681576474,0.0764474148774837,0.0,0.0962614531183995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07757227065901277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3927805564271598,0.30830897660205764,0.0,0.0,0.0788882251716586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21718494089654156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918814520663785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05785356952508526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14230557377451486,0.0,0.0,0.09139266478556916,0.0,0.08826056242199924,0.182895593824118,0.21084007636055976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05761438364524665,0.0875075094745236,0.1734253750894176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17396575950149673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06656965926505777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11967668805939904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930596667000264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21939735916436426,0.0,0.08536544681283308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08134867874843278,0.0897119223017464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057342308847787536,0.0,0.08480176915463983,0.0,0.15098885218094102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424339995944212,0.05090945452102058,0.13702197456852555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ExerciseBen,2020/01/09,Latuda and weight gain Anyone take latuda and how was the weight gain? The past year has been crazy i went from zyprexa gained 50 lbs to geodon lost 50 lbs to invega gained 10 lbs and now im going to latuda... i would have stayed on geodon but i drank one night and went bonkers and they put me on invega sustenna. I just dont want to gain weight and keep my symptoms away,-0.5459940059940038,1.5779194155844185,0.20571428571428813,104.13736263736266,101.59740259740259,3.408191808191809,11.117882117882118,5.369823440869387,-1.59609010989011,293,4,68,2,13,88,50,77,0.057999999999999996,0.785,0.157,0.8367,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,6,3,1,0,0,2,0,6,5,0,1,0,12,14,8,0,2,2,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,6,4,1,0,0,0,4,1,1,0,1,6,3,7,0,8,7,0,12,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,4,34,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270046394859379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17065370657580198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21287691928119493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032283513504072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1961988599823435,0.0,0.0,0.1614470898941331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19827797007129375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17045378629775154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12308176319799605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17339283134967745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18259510305000387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19360060890825265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18879013164275893,0.13656823169546958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10713406171988164,0.0,0.0,0.6635538880692053,0.0,0.33675817562844657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290295364180975,0.0,0.0,0.11696811237728515
bipolarreddit,donsgurl,2020/01/09,"I'm... lost Tl;dr at the top for your convenience: I (37/F) have been on bipolar and ADD meds for a long time and just started seeing a new psychiatrist who is inclined to think I don't have BP but instead some other personality disorder and I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around it and its implications.

I have ADHD. (I was originally diagnosed with ADD, but that doesn't exist anymore, according to the ""bible"" psychiatrists use for diagnosis codes - the DSM-5.) Anyway, I've been treated for that for years. Anyone who knows me concurs wholeheartedly with this diagnosis. Lol. Any therapist or psychiatrist I've seen also agrees. 

Fast-forward from that original diagnosis to a session with a psychiatrist about 5 or 6 years ago who originally diagnosed me with bipolar II disorder. He based his diagnosis on my lengthy history of manic and depressive episodes, as well as ""reading me"" (as I think of therapy sessions - as if I'm being psychoanalyzed, which I guess is part of what they actually do.) Doc puts me on meds and explains it takes medication along with therapy in order to effectively manage bipolar disorder. Let me back up and clarify that my history of manic episodes have included life-altering consequences, from divorce to probation and being a convicted felon, all of which my heart believes is out-of-character for me. 

Not long after beginning treatment with this psychiatrist, he ""Dear John's"" me. Well, at least his office did. I was short about $7 for my copay for a visit and said I'd come by the next day to settle up. I genuinely forgot to come back and pay. I mean, it's $7. I could probably find that much in change just searching couch cushions, night stand, and coin tray in my car. I genuinely forgot about coming back by. I'm looking forward to my next appointment. I check the mail, and there is a letter from their office. It stated that I was being discharged from his care and he wishes me the best of luck and hopes I can find someone who can continue my care. After calling the office multiple times in tears over being ""broken up with"" by my doc, I finally found out that the reason I was discharged from his practice was because I didn't come by to pay the $7. ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME. So, drop a bomb of a diagnosis on me, put me on serious meds that should not me quit cold-turkey, and then leave me to fend for myself with no explanation until I begged for the reason and find out it was such a trivial reason. 

I floundered around for a while and finally got to see another psychiatrist who barely did anything for me. It was at a lower-income facility. Sometimes people work there and give their all because they CHOOSE to help needier people, and others? Well, I got the other kind. I'm not sure of her reason for working there, but she wasn't very helpful or empathetic or whatever. So, I stopped going. My NP who is my primary ""doctor"" took over prescribing the meds the last psychiatrist had me on, so at least I was medicated, right? 

Well, one thing the first doc had right was that it takes more than just meds to manage this disorder (at least in my case.) After such bad luck with psychiatrists, it took a long time to work up the courage to start going back to therapy. I went back to the last clinic I was going to, but booked an appointment with a therapist and refused to see a psychiatrist. Well, my therapist is the bomb. Seriously. She's one of those who's heart is in the right place. The concern over my mental well-being just emanates from her. She's helped me work through so much. 

Here's the thing: One day, after having established a great rapport and relationship, she tells me she really wants me to see a psychiatrist there. I said that I refuse if it's going to be the last lady I was seeing. She told me that that lady doesn't even work there anymore and that there is a different doctor that she thinks could help me a lot. She said that she thinks I was misdiagnosed, and that she feels I either have Bipolar I disorder, or some other kind of disorder, but that our sessions have revealed to her that the original diagnosis just doesn't fit right. At this point, I trust her and agree to see the new doc.

I just had my first appointment with him on Monday. Bear in mind that he and I still have mountains of baggage to sort through before coming to a more definitive conclusion about what my correct diagnosis should be. What I'm having a hard time dealing with is the fact that he thinks I don't have BP at all. He said he can tell I have ADHD for sure, but that my history that resulted in the BP diagnosis may have been symptoms of a different personality disorder (which we haven't gotten to just which one yet.) But I've done these sh\*\*\*y things in the past - life-altering things, and when I was originally diagnosed with BP, I felt like I finally found out the REASON behind them. Not an EXCUSE, because I am a grown woman who knows right from wrong, but at least a REASON why I did things that I felt were out-of-character for me. But now I'm being told I probably don't have BP. I asked him through sobs, ""does this mean that I really am just a sh\*\*\*y person who does sh\*\*\*y things? That there is no reason but the fact that I'm inherently just a bad person?"" He said no, not necessarily, but that he understands that by taking away the BP diagnosis, I have to shoulder more of the personal responsibility for my actions of the past. 

I had come to think that these things weren't really completely my fault. It was just a chemical imbalance in my brain, and these things in my history happened prior to being diagnosed and treated, and now I'm much better and on meds and in therapy, so I'm doing ok, right? But now I'm questioning EVERYTHING. I feel like I have a good heart. But then what explains these gigantic ""mistakes"" I've made in my past? What kind of personality disorder do I have??? (This is a huge cliffhanger for me, since I really just want to know what's wrong with me so we can treat and ""fix"" it.) The new doc does think I have some sort of other personality disorder, but until we work to get to exactly which one, I'm lost. 

If you got this far in my ""novel"", kudos. I'm sorry for spewing so much out in one huge post. I just don't know how to cope, what to do, and what's going to come next for me. Thank you to those who stuck around to read my entire story. Even without comments or upvotes/downvotes, if you read this far, I would like to think it's because someone, even just one of you CARES. So thank you.",5.838054083683537,6.3056933483768836,6.6638756927949325,76.12617348803221,66.82264449722882,10.214056885315793,31.156678238625986,10.155593326086523,3.0204773615932763,5141,189,989,118,78,1706,414,1263,0.099,0.7759999999999999,0.125,0.9931,5,0,0,0,1,0,201.0,4,7,5,16,61,44,0,0,64,2,92,20,6,17,9,193,189,77,0,14,44,0,6,3,0,4,14,5,1,9,92,67,0,5,38,5,4,22,20,12,5,9,54,19,138,32,167,120,21,151,0,4,8,0,93,62,1,22,67,705,230,19,0.0,0.0,0.033095960695910955,0.0,0.08151801802117896,0.0,0.030063431314577924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027121659997713453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.023063232677644114,0.03556263365903048,0.0,0.0,0.06726875343767752,0.02371402256852144,0.0,0.02790899755678782,0.09057410940967996,0.0317057676602007,0.0,0.0318640788676738,0.1303919709887752,0.056634896727293015,0.08269660957771563,0.0,0.02885900397633713,0.0382103752074528,0.03559149900338245,0.02999489194261835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03786014243770879,0.034630811245227766,0.0,0.10373522229981846,0.0,0.035877370308788986,0.2045022306984485,0.035559031316183085,0.0,0.0,0.054156429615365737,0.0,0.0,0.04374449138877022,0.034964678231760374,0.029210774750325293,0.13769126636409826,0.0,0.07086751268826097,0.3498237776642691,0.06942648691345532,0.08903723204850242,0.03470662392902698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06720123320395617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030480442920461974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03429669227228443,0.024228745873621584,0.06512706916827984,0.11145604446872948,0.09299256128563196,0.05769583734253991,0.0,0.07437167370246743,0.0,0.0,0.017719087589471258,0.032534174536097436,0.09637283580911457,0.02844613218074727,0.0813743112825064,0.037391195954003975,0.037360985005149984,0.0,0.029990753033238705,0.0,0.060762013498501924,0.0,0.034806377806615885,0.0,0.0,0.12056763362368653,0.09092952461870253,0.0,0.0,0.033685057123027835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10595116188757896,0.07455476691775349,0.0829352861039396,0.0,0.03591088514851665,0.0,0.03468018935344977,0.0479100642587874,0.04970718679438749,0.0,0.0,0.09004061450306976,0.028479897365218942,0.0,0.0740440392751461,0.028833157268286932,0.0,0.032091011702268225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07388633755605489,0.2260302392944413,0.06833120282116141,0.03417814998550714,0.0,0.03424428842520905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997251457493601,0.0,0.0,0.0982653997711243,0.10820635035907847,0.031826750199959127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16087086309958787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03672643248711465,0.09712656637952233,0.047024515697615774,0.20729171757421944,0.03543375634413048,0.0,0.032060456141301916,0.0,0.03248101149630374,0.0,0.07313179915838419,0.0,0.0,0.06818749948278416,0.03799234713915022,0.03607257335419251,0.10177195858629684,0.0,0.08690677871186213,0.24409050052978895,0.0,0.036411811923048334,0.0,0.17377836622643844,0.1613037458481867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16215426781898906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02805467994683804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05747181414266987,0.0,0.03354261267400426,0.03796485132018815,0.04801015184092672,0.0,0.027084409771136863,0.02835429839909712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06392861104056173,0.03525047164112626,0.07649914542518764,0.0,0.059286074736251915,0.06244839789157799,0.1551381562884074,0.11813311949186142,0.18025193352355925,0.17384991825117518,0.0,0.0,0.09887998747123893,0.0,0.0,0.06481410556300123,0.07536119996592652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03530651157962169,0.0,0.029291505300187894,0.0,0.02798326874853731,0.04000766535405089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18296091435809045,0.03143936713379394,0.03060283943989405,0.0,0.03900035587479719,0.03269266501267512,0.0,0.14814230648596094,0.0,0.0,0.024092106800267,0.07416103782620308,0.0,0.04368004929488278
bipolarreddit,sbbw2012,2020/01/09,Breakup sending me into a spiral My girlfriend and I of 4 months broke up. It was the first relationship I've had since my abusive ex five years ago. She was married but seperating from her husband but she couldn't stop fucking him. I found out she was sexting me and fucking him on the same night. Everyone told me it was a red flag from the get go. I feel so broken and stupid. I loved her. We talked about a future together. I came out as bisexual to my family for her and she did too. I haven't slept. I haven't ate. I finally showered after 4 days. I'm dragging myself to work. I started smoking again. Like I am so fucked up over this.,-0.11540669856459472,2.2125837272727296,1.958867623604469,93.3925119617225,94.30303030303033,4.900159489633174,21.341307814992028,6.5966054737557815,0.5289484848484851,500,19,107,7,19,166,89,132,0.158,0.762,0.08,-0.9116,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,0,0,2,5,7,4,0,6,0,10,6,1,0,0,16,24,9,0,1,2,2,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,9,1,1,2,0,0,3,3,5,0,2,11,2,27,2,16,12,1,22,0,1,1,4,18,7,3,0,13,75,30,1,0.0,0.23464857462636896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17555317315505994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265084364663753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12772135341099575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18923857655720225,0.0,0.0,0.1866973180934759,0.0,0.100136492972487,0.0,0.0,0.21694642980101264,0.0,0.16845527739891802,0.0,0.21714393102210314,0.0,0.5492626958621534,0.10346929527754056,0.0,0.11255240265297166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09675380785220623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1787415425532833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15807603575817614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1858499427544373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2126240699715726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16382321881297846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401758570260738,0.0,0.0,0.16557281850036953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15917946428123694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18923857655720225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14417766505087862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12753320100170626
bipolarreddit,dowdyash,2020/01/09,Good News: I just got my PhD! I just received news that I passed last week. I’m so excited 😆!,-3.1050000000000004,-1.836973047619047,-0.056785714285712885,104.82053571428574,112.8095238095238,4.0047619047619065,14.773809523809526,5.985473137389443,-0.7991047619047618,70,2,19,1,4,24,16,21,0.0,0.6940000000000001,0.306,0.765,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,8,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5151402629483799,0.4912112930381111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5006340266791266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4926535764737173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,zouperspazz,2020/01/09,"I hate my job with a passion It’s so difficult being bipolar and having to deal with the bullshit I deal with at work. I’m an insurance agent, and everyone wants to be fucking held by the hand any time there’s a question, or a tiny issue arises. It’s just so overwhelming, and it’s not my fault, it always falls back on some fucking tech not knowing how to process a bill or claim even though that’s their job. 

On top of that I have to have at least 15 appointments every week. A minimum of 8 community engagement events a month, keep up with phone calls, paperwork and emails, and hit a sales quota of 20 every single month. 

I’m just feeling so overwhelmed, and I can’t just quit my job. I need it to afford all my bills that I have piled up because of bipolar spending. Fuck. I’m just venting..",4.870370370370374,5.093726407407409,5.587259259259259,83.85866666666669,68.87654320987653,8.702222222222222,30.39753086419753,8.548686976883017,2.125985679012345,626,23,130,9,10,204,98,162,0.087,0.809,0.10400000000000001,-0.1075,4,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,1,3,12,10,4,2,10,0,7,7,1,1,1,28,21,13,0,2,8,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,8,10,0,2,3,0,4,1,3,8,0,0,1,2,11,2,20,17,4,14,0,2,0,4,7,7,3,4,6,82,19,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317638662032527,0.0,0.0,0.10768668364584956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12176505458784065,0.0,0.09653160680735784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16169794005412227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3265136588742179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10459184165250926,0.0,0.2668414713771593,0.1513147826912652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08006893704898037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43918933959893547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15634256535631272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652812531056465,0.4714280670803549,0.14075300838580393,0.0,0.0,0.08702764820068451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2527945563172727,0.0,0.0,0.11741806616665908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17739359978372668,0.1684298055428296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555827717151724,0.0,0.09233794827073273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09340175470212496,0.0,0.12702265627587034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11528416907909475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Rhys345,2020/01/09,"I hate hypo/mania, but I still miss it sometimes Particularly when I'm feeling down, I miss that energy and social lubrication. It's the one time I can feel unimpeded by my social difficulties. It feels like a fog has been lifted and I've been enhanced. That's what I miss.

But at the same time, not sleeping much, draining my bank account, scaring people off, doing reckless things, and getting hospitalized. That's the shitty part, and I don't know if it's worth it.",4.466571428571427,6.201347244444445,5.682063492063495,77.225,71.0,7.80952380952381,28.41269841269841,8.418075326091056,2.147936507936508,372,14,67,6,7,124,62,90,0.24,0.653,0.10800000000000001,-0.9145,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,2,6,1,1,4,0,6,1,1,0,0,13,16,8,0,1,4,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,10,4,0,0,4,0,3,0,2,5,0,1,2,3,8,1,4,14,3,7,0,3,0,0,2,3,0,1,5,46,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3697502695876752,0.1741389567526389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273521726437564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406580621611216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13396163177113235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11908661026910095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17918831760195691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16517501517872746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639634206372731,0.0,0.16898935149376107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2440417493479418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439315076774701,0.4969560104287039,0.0,0.0,0.24108039302885526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1946634335267706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16194030337024404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2842715500302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,psychedelicsweets,2020/01/09,"BP1 and Majority Depressions (crossposted to r/bipolar) (22F) Hey y'all; I promise I'm not spamming. Just up only 3 hours later from my other post, and have some (much shorter) questions to ask that's on my mind. 

Is it possible to be BP1 and have majority depressive episodes? Has that been anyone's experience? 

I've been hospitalized for 2 'manic' episodes (one mixed, one manic I guess), and I heard that hospitalization makes a hypomanic episode automatically manic. That and complete interruption of one's life. I've also had a hypomanic episode that, after a week, quickly approached full blown, I think (if I wasn't there, I was damn sure close), and that lasted a month. I've had other 'up'/'revved' episodes besides those ones, and some had some questionable behavior, but those are the ones that have been the most severe. 

I find I have as many depressions as hypo/manias in a year (maybe slightly more depressions), but they last a lot longer. Like, 2-3x as long. Hypo/manias tend to be short, a week to a month, maybe a month and a half. Meanwhile, I can be depressed for MONTHS on end. Last time I was deeply depressed (besides this time, lol), it lasted from August 2018 till March-ish 2019. They're just...longer. 

Is that normal? Or wouldn't that mean I'd fall closer to BP2, given it's marked by hypomanias and longer depressions? (or so I've heard)

​

​

I also don't usually get racing thoughts when manic, so I've figured they're not 'true' manias. Only once I got what I think were true racing thoughts during a manic episode, but it was during (I think was?) my dysphoric with a lot of anxiety. Usually I just get the energy and compulsion to do any and everything, and type and write all day, even if it's nonsense. What gives? Can anyone relate? 

​

​

**TLDR;**

Is it possible to be BP1 and have majority depressive episodes? Has that been anyone's experience? 

Also: 

I also don't usually get racing thoughts when manic, so I've figured they're not 'true' manias. Only once I got what I think were true racing thoughts during a manic episode, but it was during (I think was?) my dysphoric with a lot of anxiety. Usually I just get the energy and compulsion to do any and everything, and type and write all day, even if it's nonsense. What gives? Can anyone relate? 

​

Side note-- I posted this in [r/bipolar](https://www.reddit.com/r/bipolar) too, but since I literally just made this account, I didn't know if it also made sense to post here.",4.236384659958915,6.571697701943848,4.946759732392142,79.71029184006744,73.06047516198704,7.886403624295423,27.49138703050097,8.700769036622559,2.272099868303218,1968,75,350,39,41,633,186,463,0.10099999999999999,0.847,0.052000000000000005,-0.9735,0,0,0,0,0,0,129.0,0,1,1,0,20,16,1,0,18,1,40,1,0,3,7,78,69,43,0,6,18,0,0,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,30,21,0,0,16,0,1,2,8,9,0,6,28,2,29,7,30,36,15,44,0,8,0,0,12,10,1,16,30,217,59,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21802646828295544,0.0,0.2954003926713871,0.3312819092644889,0.07416058114907015,0.0,0.0834261482177654,0.0,0.0,0.15250643477819334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050975467930327936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05717061576676375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07033092344002398,0.0,0.3757128172927044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04829481667039842,0.0,0.0,0.07202925652266162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09801086396937064,0.10667591263338487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049836771828376134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11395261466014875,0.10461470534185004,0.0,0.0,0.08722058900218978,0.0,0.06006773636224365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053698199368327086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029966662302578682,0.1777874218299113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03851409576859791,0.026639181588873104,0.0,0.0,0.09650951642235472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390709443857407,0.0,0.10318970071392984,0.0363972555538267,0.055281910240237736,0.10955958039079984,0.0593959854709006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05505681632201473,0.0,0.1740920100155099,0.0,0.04008368464277082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05342497037000638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161391411814314,0.18474483459341007,0.12441092561623388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12294220080264552,0.15666563676546824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12216563837504504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061600090451509035,0.0,0.0451053717813248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05139113641489314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17469378575453995,0.0,0.17315367284952424,0.06359036859553474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24021554157869704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08747668411348827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3312819092644889,0.035113657803363
bipolarreddit,africanqueen86,2020/01/09,"What does hypomania feel like to you? I was diagnosed with bipolar seven years ago, after it was thought I had hypomania, followed by a mixed episode.

Recent events has made me question my diagnosis. Thinking back, a few of the signs of the 'hypomania' were:
- I was writing a lot for my blog, and felt quite creative. 
- I felt especially close to nature.
- I was extremely funny, and surprised at my own wit (which seemed to have come out of nowhere). I felt on fire.
- I was more impulsive than usual.
- I felt very connected to others. (I usually have social anxiety and am introverted.)

Curious to hear if you've had similar signs / symptoms?",2.892770935960592,5.820437612068968,4.5276354679803,77.3594827586207,82.36206896551724,8.141871921182268,29.837438423645324,8.841846274778883,3.2166645320197054,497,25,86,14,14,166,82,116,0.036000000000000004,0.845,0.11900000000000001,0.8628,1,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,5,0,12,3,0,1,0,22,24,4,0,1,1,0,6,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,4,7,0,0,9,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,14,7,14,2,16,10,4,14,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,4,9,61,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14684238376173886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267249495751562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127377794257961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14269635770224512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16813544638758895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14496503809717953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08375970120820786,0.11834333753894508,0.6362157389165691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867042343685771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08093023627943294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14083321029956095,0.0,0.15674593516548765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18557052786955366,0.1761935490437938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16356346037452954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15080529073098708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16886351561101906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17217806012710718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061444722728933,0.0,0.1315108687706163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3648892229120895,0.13668199898685712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10667582309842027
bipolarreddit,ShorelineDoThatShit,2020/01/09,"I stopped taking my lithium I used to be on 1350mg of lithium daily but I stopped taking my meds after I started abusing some other drugs. The drug abuse has stopped but I still haven't taken my meds in over a month. The weird thing is that I feel so much more alive and cognitive. I have been in a pretty bad depression these last few months but lately I feel so much more relaxed and ""alive"". My doctor and parents dont know that I stopped and I'm scared to start taking them again because of how I might change back to dull and physically sick (I get very nauseous and throw up alot bc of lithium). Does anyone have any insight or advice on what I should do. I feel like my parents and doc will be angry to here that I'm not taking them because they will prob think I'm being lazy or giving up/not taking my mental health seriously but I just want to feel happy again. Thanks for reading",3.877118572035698,4.976324812154697,4.378121546961329,88.4721376965576,71.59668508287292,6.4532086697832565,25.525286867828303,6.297961479604792,0.7657561410964728,705,21,145,4,13,223,108,181,0.237,0.624,0.139,-0.9656,2,0,2,0,1,0,12.0,0,0,3,0,9,10,0,1,5,0,15,5,0,2,0,33,37,16,0,2,8,2,4,1,0,4,5,0,0,0,7,7,0,4,7,2,0,1,3,6,0,0,2,4,23,4,16,28,7,22,0,2,0,0,6,6,0,5,16,95,30,2,0.0,0.2609762100465461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10761946335953326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07489336092541597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07700667447800102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08468451133049268,0.09195540410261534,0.1342705750528967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11650477975689436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09485630773728164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11272450429798575,0.09637702931489288,0.0,0.12907358103860234,0.0,0.25543571168575546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22274367074186774,0.07867813826646444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05753928951138197,0.10564840193908667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11723728691709145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11706489142072835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06052552503723797,0.08977206856255654,0.1242334016238086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05380480601905813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2446630751803456,0.0,0.11098689235827712,0.11683237395494832,0.0,0.0,0.17581221099271546,0.0,0.16191900412092328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24457653186070274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11204357437138143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11016154490025584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11026108606623576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15590362722186438,0.0,0.08795135117410695,0.3683002696927121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41402681842082095,0.0,0.0,0.10139451107913126,0.0,0.0,0.07316663552530545,0.07056797314812356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09511846449098026,0.0,0.09087022082071793,0.06495855466195351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Shitstorm2019,2020/01/09,"2 days on Cymbalta and I feel good, and worried because I feel good I’ve been in a deep nose dive since mid December. There was an ample amount of self-harm, a lot of time wasted on depression naps and even a cop escorted ER visit. I started to come out of the hole this weekend and thus told my doctor this was the time to do something since I know the next few months are going to be even more stressful and I don’t know that I can live through another deep depression.

So Monday he prescribed Cymbalta. I took the first dose Tuesday morning and I’d say after 2 hours or so felt anxious/energized? Slept like a baby though. Today woke up feeling fantastic and positive for once, took the second dose and again the amount of energy was crazy. I was so productive at work, I’ve done 2 weeks worth of work in 2 days and it’s awesome. I love this feeling right now but ultimately I know that meds don’t work this fast and it’s likely me on an upswing.  I almost want to downplay the effect because this is like a breath of fresh air after drowning for the past month but I feel like my doctor will call me out on it. No real point to this post except meds are weird and this disorder can seriously suck.",2.7692945326278644,4.629342378600825,3.9277954144620817,87.51222222222223,75.83127572016461,7.097707231040566,24.740152851263968,7.957251820313856,1.351553556731334,950,32,194,15,21,309,141,243,0.109,0.763,0.128,0.16899999999999998,0,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,5,9,13,1,1,15,0,16,8,3,2,0,33,36,18,1,1,4,0,6,4,0,1,4,1,0,0,12,14,0,0,10,2,1,5,3,6,1,2,12,8,16,7,27,22,5,43,0,2,0,1,6,16,1,3,25,115,28,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11315503379711413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11849229683698285,0.0,0.1276599304339927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13776976282810402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11538752740077356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973410914391538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14575369496867324,0.0,0.1946566627061304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12950991482008167,0.2313243719397335,0.0,0.1156401301500208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14927331777432382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2856856637937886,0.08072854714785653,0.10849950099310098,0.0,0.0,0.09611931937041043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06422155781376251,0.18956118776480105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11128406379837348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18630859127865604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2208279918764782,0.0,0.09978270746021263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09607013537125096,0.10198858521216743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2510391709211914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18039400368404426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12017875381340205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12034328663491428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10787305616473317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10682327755159242,0.0,0.1082245396301844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12862084922002426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09650296596973326,0.0,0.08986360994261161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178855786149067,0.0,0.0,0.18695260288086946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08699434805724554,0.0,0.0,0.07998329394930978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12944324207810384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11102374791146932,0.0,0.13178457972506194,0.0,0.10711254472678287,0.10797811418059153,0.25109843556500056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06665142132524661,0.0,0.09064327119223167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2468000868910945,0.11475886807905032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Avachi,2020/01/09,"Depression Showering This is probably going to sound really disturbing but it's something I always think when I have no motivation to shower.

Does anyone else almost wish someone could take a shower *for them*? It's a weird question I know. People can do all kinds of things for you if you need it: cook, clean, drive, feed, etc. (I don't mean someone else bathing you btw.)

Mustering up the energy to get in the shower and scrub your body and wash your hair when you think you don't like yourself and don't care and are just tired can be a big deal, as most of us know... And the longer you go without doing it, usually the less you feel like doing it because you just feel worse about yourself...

Anyway I know it's a weird question, but it's something I think about. Like why can't someone else go through the process and have me become magically clean. It's impossible but I wish it was an option. Maybe in another dimension.",3.2484046961325963,5.330547386740335,4.07712361878453,85.98043680939226,75.13259668508287,7.39792817679558,25.124654696132595,8.278499904357787,1.5961185082872933,731,25,144,13,16,234,104,181,0.145,0.741,0.114,-0.6121,4,0,2,0,0,0,27.0,1,10,1,1,7,9,0,1,10,0,16,6,2,1,1,33,34,13,0,5,7,0,3,3,0,0,2,1,7,0,11,6,2,0,12,2,0,4,6,4,0,0,1,4,20,5,15,31,4,11,0,1,0,0,15,4,0,6,6,92,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12420371255592695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10320753559273446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13006211639528076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08672855877545924,0.12708910555416436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07561093593008349,0.13698754881512307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13777556322098447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264625363652659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09903231464408023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127875232568665,0.10683165993833517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10854436850053448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3108474237862044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13833245466820152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12543222825000955,0.08861104034477066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06480346912931123,0.0,0.2114768288849515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12916396539281896,0.20450012643152984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18179255160119207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12461040770060415,0.13511110464109818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919708080243502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08599065092781642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13373132970874252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2778964641999903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07946036615802539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3152848233404287,0.19097729261370167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09325931680450532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08240372529490096,0.23843096647124304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14256064834928292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14919952594296493,0.0,0.13660766345293746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11192281492478474,0.0,0.2852695823306766,0.1195658691344064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12640284869513224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,HallowedGemsArt,2020/01/09,Side Effects with Pristiq and Seroquel I’ve been taking 75 mg of Pristiq and 25mg Seroquel for about a year now and my sex life has dropped off the face of the Earth.... does anyone know of meds that may have less intense sexual side effects? It really sucks :(,6.0023529411764684,6.093462960784315,5.847843137254902,83.41529411764708,66.45098039215686,8.368627450980393,32.68627450980392,7.793537801064563,2.1960274509803908,205,8,40,2,3,64,41,51,0.113,0.868,0.019,-0.7153,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,2,1,1,0,3,0,4,3,1,2,0,8,7,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,7,5,1,6,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,1,2,22,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32321986912043843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4045229976821741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2540435931507545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3265048064817325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5134617724661422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2961327792423365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3475586888265353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29767745593291345
bipolarreddit,sisyphuswi,2020/01/09,"How do you cope if you can’t find a drug that doesn’t ruin your sex life? I’m heading to my psychiatrist tomorrow and need to start new meds. I’ve not had good luck finding a medication regimen to stabilize me that doesn’t have unacceptable side effects. 

Tbh, I haven’t found a medication regimen to stabilize me, even with the shitty side effects.  And that makes it really really hard for me to continue to adhere to these med regimens. 

If they don’t even work well enough to keep me from experiencing recurrent episodes, it’s hard to convince myself that I want to keep gaining weight (despite daily exercise and monitoring my intake), watch my hair fall out, feel forgetful and slow-minded or give up my sex life. 

It’s been two years. I’ve tried a lot of things. I’ve tried to stick with them to see if things get better. But so far, not successful. I’m still willing to keep trying bc I haven’t tried everything and I read other people’s success stories, even after much frustration. 

But I’m dreading each new med trial now. The time I lose to feeling like shit, the weight that I have to fight so goddamn hard to take off (51 F it ain’t easy to lose weight like when you’re younger, and the risk of metabolic syndrome is that much higher), the frustrating loss of intimacy w my partner, (which has always been really important to me (not to mention the expected impact of menopause looming very near). 

I haven’t been well since being off meds past couple months (with Dr approval) so I know I need to keep trying. And I might get lucky.  Or I might just have to learn to suck it up and live with these losses to my self and my life.  My emotions are cycling through bouts of grief, rage. frustration, despair, sometimes hopelessness and suicidality. 

My last doctor told me I was just going to have to accept that I had to live with side effects to control the illness. I don’t know how to learn to accept and be happy with what these drugs do to me. In particular , every damn one has ruined sex for me.  Are there people who’ve come to terms with this and feel ok?

Note, it isn’t just sex, it’s the entirety of all that I’ve lost. My career is over, I don’t look or feel anything close to attractive like I once did. My mind and memory aren’t great. My creativity has faded. My stress tolerance is low. I have no social life. I wrecked my financial stability.  

Which is maybe why losing sexuality just feels like such a stab at my humanity. I’ve always been monogamous and that intimacy was a really
meaningful connection w my husband. Our sex life has been a private space where ugly miserable shit from outside didn’t have to intrude on the joy and pleasure that I shared w my partner. I really, really don’t want to sacrifice this. 

 Can anyone help me navigate these feelings?  I feel like I’m on my way to the gallows...",4.548913043478258,5.8728475144927526,5.5680869565217375,79.72147826086956,70.23188405797102,9.143188405797103,28.655072463768114,9.516144504307137,2.546725942028986,2236,82,433,50,40,738,268,552,0.187,0.6859999999999999,0.127,-0.9893,2,0,2,0,1,1,66.0,1,3,2,16,20,48,9,4,17,1,48,25,4,7,1,83,83,29,2,8,15,1,14,5,2,3,13,0,0,4,29,26,3,5,21,2,0,3,18,25,2,2,14,18,55,23,65,64,7,39,1,13,3,5,18,19,4,11,21,269,84,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11218904536313633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0471380028544369,0.0,0.05547664478664458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05962292132953074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05807188978316216,0.0,0.0,0.07561144218162537,0.0,0.07459320537883055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0690019149818164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15635955439171725,0.0,0.0,0.07583258783469947,0.0,0.06965752018456313,0.0,0.13358053925421706,0.0,0.056799885279093215,0.0,0.06058808459162316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2386086758351771,0.14448346190741732,0.0,0.0,0.12323183063684462,0.0,0.0,0.07391685989052219,0.0,0.0,0.07044291190641225,0.06467042897163477,0.038313390284872836,0.0565443444299361,0.0,0.07432506638288754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0717643191685032,0.18117128530962887,0.0,0.06918704457078392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04518672632030218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23968552377530425,0.0,0.0,0.07409883341441177,0.05495206815299348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2380853711407876,0.1646773553656919,0.0,0.11905702523413896,0.0,0.056611461822500236,0.22625978615244466,0.07359122908441032,0.0573136609652674,0.0,0.0,0.044999909379175314,0.0,0.06772723814183458,0.0,0.2995306267775821,0.1358266580173809,0.0,0.1430329205698211,0.13613948126020614,0.0,0.0538098584297846,0.0,0.09911528487858667,0.09997445529795687,0.0,0.13021928780800254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07179457281896888,0.04568202018792117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06435506460380103,0.09347388233176217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06743305373407465,0.0,0.2591259225097231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05372087560728006,0.0,0.07032834979694443,0.0,0.13840066805168366,0.055766227749559714,0.0,0.0,0.06872090938314185,0.0,0.0,0.06667497120759751,0.0,0.047716549732976336,0.0,0.053837554611983765,0.0,0.07722343746097791,0.0,0.0,0.07374086063342503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05068754749072942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08957480887521432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039310118038371734,0.0,0.0,0.06441774026756814,0.0,0.2288511549450286,0.0,0.06585447393634823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0556242787714978,0.0795260035790795,0.053510738538014566,0.0,0.2462792319751603,0.12122802135799468,0.0,0.060831380618929023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04907878482601311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04341292757048487
bipolarreddit,Saint_Dogbert,2020/01/09,"Fuck. My. Life So, I'm way calmer then I was about this a few hours ago but.

Just got put on paid administrative leave at work, basically fired. I fucked up again a hung up on someone at my call center type job. This was after being put on a final written warning for a similar reason. I had just a few hrs prior clarified info on that and other reasons that were causing me issues with calls, but apparently that takes no consideration. I'm in a semi better mindset then I was when first told, but dammit I do question why I keep going on.",1.1713461538461516,3.6671805648148137,3.4925925925925942,84.81935897435899,85.94444444444444,5.545299145299146,20.344729344729345,7.010146845296331,0.6371943019943019,423,13,83,6,13,145,77,108,0.182,0.767,0.051,-0.9405,2,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,3,6,3,2,0,6,0,7,3,0,3,0,14,18,8,0,0,5,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,2,0,1,5,0,1,3,1,2,0,1,9,1,9,1,14,8,2,25,0,0,0,2,4,11,2,1,10,57,15,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15609522575298934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1557393559047658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3596199144913797,0.0,0.0,0.1808953297877171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19290054020375336,0.0,0.14978404595194092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3255890431653609,0.0,0.0,0.10007732919551947,0.0,0.14083712265159307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1734154739637658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837946423095616,0.17474446604527782,0.1565189538690627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18645635175813186,0.0,0.0,0.12437922035681374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35404285738121405,0.19726371023709116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3621044867782799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14920245977849803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323995172086372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16826376759809325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13977389514074498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15889593842657526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281973134987284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,deadlysenatorz207,2020/01/10,"Empty So I’m on Abilify and Wellbutrin and for a few days I’ve felt stable but empty. I can’t really be happy . I’m just kind of “meh” all of the time. I have no motivation or interest in anything, but I’m not depressed. Is it likely the Abilify or something else?",-0.1880357142857143,2.025240553571429,3.544285714285717,83.90071428571429,89.89285714285714,6.771428571428572,22.285714285714285,7.957251820313856,1.5906357142857144,205,8,42,5,7,76,42,56,0.128,0.6,0.273,0.9087,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,3,0,4,0,0,1,1,11,8,7,0,0,6,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,1,2,4,5,6,2,4,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,2,3,27,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30553745370898816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394493117412047,0.0,0.3197888322545833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31016253271522143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3564936153782733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3952417712035501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3866381341091484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18139200752124984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378558726772933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28583476764907256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21650035644072188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,_k8lynn_,2020/01/10,"I was hospitalized for a week and not one of my friends texted me while I was gone. Just needing a little rant to people who understand. I was in in-patient (went voluntarily) for exactly seven days and we couldn't have cell phones. I only told two people that I was going, one being my husband and another being a friend who lives pretty far away. None of my friends texted me, snapped me, sent me stuff on social media - nothing from anyone. I fell off the face of the earth and no one noticed or seemed to care. I feel so sad, it's like going to in-patient didn't even matter because I'm just as depressed as I was before going.",3.9463429571303554,4.9736910708661455,5.151128608923887,83.26497812773405,71.36220472440945,7.219247594050744,26.70953630796151,7.3871296695380915,1.3568974628171473,494,16,98,5,9,164,84,127,0.09300000000000001,0.764,0.14300000000000002,0.8171,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,1,0,0,0,4,7,0,0,5,0,10,1,1,0,1,16,23,9,0,2,4,1,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,3,0,0,7,5,2,0,5,10,1,16,5,15,10,1,16,0,2,0,0,12,6,0,2,4,69,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17768711882973826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11848606001636712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592074541622928,0.0,0.0,0.10329748377002387,0.0,0.14419273100008936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727694762274408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10928370370523877,0.0,0.1459503380411694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11192265852507773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08568094947187478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3927588330321334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2889135550402289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08278658334952944,0.16983725776359307,0.14963083905807145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256478700117686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16259552293793128,0.1929243119783608,0.0,0.0,0.3444789081775098,0.12887727586223927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349559031197168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17239546789166071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15426440530266494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17273684289710747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19398409728593752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16192039919534695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16553177221495272,0.17640741624091513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13592564351764128,0.0,0.0,0.15708540085629044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Txawayxx28,2020/01/10,"Off meds for a week, and I feel happier. Noticing how I’m not inside my head too much like I was on meds. I was constantly aware of how sad I was and always finding ways to make me feel alive again. I went into the horrible depths of sadness, but couldn’t feel pure happiness anymore. The past couple of days I’ve noticed how little things make me smile again, and I’m not trapped inside my head. Idk if I’m in mania right now and the extreme lows are near.. but right now in this moment.. I feel free!",2.77778846153846,4.029229663461543,3.77615384615385,91.14384615384618,74.48076923076924,6.7384615384615385,23.57692307692308,7.1686216300943375,0.7106192307692307,391,11,86,4,8,126,67,104,0.08900000000000001,0.7120000000000001,0.19899999999999998,0.9355,0,1,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,8,6,0,0,4,0,5,2,2,5,1,22,15,10,0,2,5,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,5,0,1,1,3,3,0,0,4,4,10,4,11,10,1,22,0,3,0,0,0,11,0,1,10,50,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14096015369573928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16800617385696487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18306873053224515,0.0,0.0,0.18744556851916605,0.0,0.10925346836336394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34262897706018064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15483488366043904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.180336848880724,0.0,0.0,0.3477208101694476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08276367892219624,0.16979026916989193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22616090980544776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3763458638094677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12453360080620965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3857418718549744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16171810301599707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2893452201485829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11254645037264537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13446735203559426,0.13588803719426487,0.0,0.0,0.15704194029778631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,rhdscait,2020/01/10,"I want to die... I’ll post this here because you guys may understand more. Long story short, I lost my dad last year. Tomorrow will be my birthday. I got a call last year on my birthday that my dad had cancer. Three months later, he died. Anyway, the pain is too intense and I’m really suicidal. I’ve been researching ways to kill myself all morning. I may very well drop my kids off to school, email my husband to ask if he can pick up the kids this afternoon, and proceed to overdose on a cocktail of different drugs here at home, mixed with a good dose of alcohol. There’s a good chance it won’t actually kill me because I have never been successful at anything in my life but I can’t stand the pain of this shit disease anymore. I know I need help but I refuse to be hospitalized. I’d rather die. I’m not sure why I’m posting this other than a small rational part of my brain wants me to seek help.",1.683267267267265,3.759216356756757,3.2161711711711725,90.3100825825826,80.02702702702703,6.705705705705707,23.79129129129129,7.793537801064563,1.1645795795795797,706,25,152,12,18,232,122,185,0.20800000000000002,0.7090000000000001,0.084,-0.9789,1,0,2,0,0,3,21.0,0,1,0,2,7,11,3,0,8,0,13,9,2,1,3,20,24,5,6,5,5,3,0,0,0,4,7,0,1,3,7,3,2,1,2,1,0,0,4,6,1,1,5,0,21,5,20,13,3,25,0,1,0,0,15,9,1,3,11,87,28,3,0.0,0.0,0.12505338093319054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369506028872042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12708779064966222,0.0,0.0,0.10545439472206286,0.0,0.11980052422168187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1562349362573891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14305488388595436,0.13085282734246026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3989903208235388,0.13388676251793702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486103046678799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21496792532234216,0.10249118556074603,0.0,0.0,0.12688607738228724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717890074969397,0.0,0.12854229483031168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2835522320765553,0.0,0.07042646195871699,0.20891447592355275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09051430129701618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134064200801612,0.0,0.0,0.13988802945446732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10228603536886748,0.0,0.0,0.0950196764031053,0.09883517809212378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.272715746089139,0.0,0.0,0.13877115078565147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2454595798601163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08209450847935157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12969201443008138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13154146879871353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.140172460938984,0.0,0.12077741181830788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13340596704703114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10573502907861014,0.1511693182662583,0.10171744461761983,0.0,0.0,0.11521990618598348,0.0,0.11563310016219495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16504545354770128
bipolarreddit,lithiumman100,2020/01/10,"how long does it take to build up stable level of lithium carbonate? I take 2x450mg prolonged release lithium tablets a day, so I take 900mg/day. How long does it take to build up lithium in your blood to a constant level to produce effects? Someone that has had a similar dosage how long did it take for you??also im having diarrhea , is this common with lithium and does it eventually go away or just lessen?",3.708679927667269,5.915655708860762,4.345605786618446,84.00784810126581,74.18987341772151,6.53960216998192,31.53887884267631,7.447530270364453,2.1764018083182646,327,16,59,4,7,104,52,79,0.0,0.9570000000000001,0.043,0.4871,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,2,5,0,0,0,3,0,5,1,1,5,0,9,11,6,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,11,9,0,13,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,1,6,35,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13588404734536613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596443581195436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836219180053776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2191672095097332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4460914065067944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09656880135653176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1835415221512029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4511185202223055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14397169484915434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6387891633300111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,quietaway,2020/01/10,"I PASSED ALL OF MY CLASSES For the first time ever I passed all of my college classes. This fall was my first semester back from a leave of absence. It was def rough but I’m so glad I made it. 

Idk if I should go into detail but I just wanna tell people I’m so happy.",-1.7071374764595078,0.21553135593220674,1.166666666666668,98.37433145009415,99.84745762711864,3.300188323917138,15.030131826741991,5.033348758259628,-1.0121314500941618,206,5,48,1,9,71,40,59,0.044000000000000004,0.763,0.193,0.9218,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,2,5,2,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,1,3,11,7,5,0,3,4,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,3,1,8,2,7,3,2,10,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,5,35,11,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25132364170166865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29565002842175875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5560284058135188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18575355424874052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.347932596271798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3460816783355668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30926865610456994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22659317987070435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2856769495070136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19058595674442586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,tobebipolarornottobe,2020/01/10,"I hate my birthday Today is my birthday and as usual everyone is wishing me the best, asking how I will celebrate it. And all I want to to is scream and cry in a bathroom. Ironically, at my birthday all I wish is that I would be dead.
Don't know why I am writing it, but I just don't have nobody to talk to, nobody who would understand me",2.909166666666668,3.5406482500000003,5.103777777777778,84.119,73.44444444444444,7.982222222222222,28.288888888888888,8.238735603445708,1.8203188888888893,262,10,57,4,5,92,47,72,0.125,0.743,0.132,-0.128,0,0,0,0,0,1,7.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,1,0,2,0,12,0,0,1,2,16,19,6,1,5,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,4,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,12,1,7,15,3,4,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,46,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223150373065211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24956107398289976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2612169958007778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272323201673301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2347826381201165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13069109354435385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19113818994873172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22541079034392575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24756279435049106,0.0,0.0,0.26190797875884564,0.0,0.14026321190288346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21458150657887126,0.0,0.5469267083639666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3378588829323519,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,scienceofspin,2020/01/10,Didn’t realize I was hypo until I sat working in Illustrator for so long that my hand is like completely broken rn. I was like “my hand... hurts??? From THIS??? oh... Awh shit here we go again”,-1.454473684210523,-0.057630263157893324,1.4782894736842105,92.92427631578951,114.78947368421049,5.0578947368421066,15.276315789473689,6.6274283507984215,0.14446315789473685,142,4,31,3,8,49,32,38,0.23399999999999999,0.593,0.174,-0.5931,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,1,0,0,1,3,4,1,0,0,0,4,3,3,0,0,2,6,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,4,2,6,2,4,2,0,5,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,5,19,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4320233218506834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2341757416967415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44110471504857457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4026105917193621,0.0,0.0,0.36464852893212896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4229602085765288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2999750414346436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,soberaf2019,2020/01/10,Help Anyone else take and SSRI and an antipsychotic together and it actually work for bipolar? I’m on Prozac 20 mg and seroquel 600mgs,3.4606666666666683,6.520066800000002,5.124000000000001,73.16866666666667,81.0,8.133333333333335,28.333333333333336,8.841846274778883,3.079933333333334,110,5,18,3,3,37,22,25,0.0,0.895,0.105,0.4019,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,8,1,1,0.0,0.0,0.4485336091453289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3213847220735569,0.4709463346767781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3839627696318439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30808100896233176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3455853531428297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33461688374291104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,twandar,2020/01/11,Sleepovers on Seroquel Due to bad weather it is likely that my man friend will sleepover for the first time tonight. We've shared hotel room before but that was special occasion when I expected to stay up late. I have to go open the martial arts gym tomorrow morning so I have to go to sleep as usual which means taking my Seroquel. I suppose I can just say I take meds for sleeping. Still I'm nervous about taking it in front of someone. Anyone relate? How do you handle it?,2.3638709677419314,4.916517268817206,3.2628064516129034,88.23420967741936,80.61290322580646,5.0103225806451634,26.504301075268817,6.2581,1.1094223655913975,378,16,69,3,10,120,73,93,0.053,0.8640000000000001,0.083,0.4234,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,1,6,6,0,1,2,0,7,2,2,1,0,6,14,5,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,1,1,6,1,0,0,1,3,0,3,0,2,0,1,1,1,9,4,13,12,0,18,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,10,44,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14831881622751494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17711083843932174,0.0,0.0,0.180497985734284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18042865294519966,0.0,0.0,0.16388292195211082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24110468618125735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23927992202837745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10363082408366496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23106021110580224,0.235616834068708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16868586041745945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4245451794028616,0.0,0.17972807893426973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.226091056597798,0.16939882653263522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4784621697603362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12368852773036787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336195506650071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kinathh,2020/01/11,"My new doctor is fucking me up? (help) First post ever on Reddit but I'm kinda freaking out.

I've moved towns 3 times last year and because of that, I had to switch doctors. A year ago I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety but no treatment was ever effective. At the end of last year, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and a lot of stuff began making sense. I moved back to my home town and started seeing a new doctor and he put me on lithium. He said we would have to monitor my blood or something because of that but he ended up never doing that.

I feel like he doesn't listen to me. I say what I'm feeling and he makes me feel like I'm making it all up and there's no way his treatment isn't working.

Two days ago I had an appointment with him and he doubled my lithium prescription and started me on Seroquel (because I said I noticed my hypomanic episodes make me really angry). He also made me stop taking Desvenlafaxine (Pristiq) because he said it doesn't work for me (even though I said it worked wonders for my anxiety and I felt it made me less angry throughout the year I took it).

Result: I'm fucking freaking out. I'm sleeping 20 hours straight and when I wake up I can't stay up because my body feels super heavy. I literally feel so drugged that I'm falling onto the ground. I can't stop crying. My dad is freaking out alongside me.

I'm switching doctors again. I don't wanna see his face (that's how bad he makes me feel). What I wanna know is: do you all think it is ok if I stop with the Seroquel until I see a new doctor? I've been only taking it for 2 days but I wanted to make sure (even tho most of y'all aren't really doctors) it is not going to fuck me up even further.",1.4388061513557275,3.5191000679886706,3.3859214892756,88.7509745042493,80.89801699716713,5.734002428166734,24.533306353702955,6.868970318607317,0.9784985673816268,1336,51,273,15,35,450,168,353,0.131,0.778,0.091,-0.9266,0,0,2,0,0,0,36.0,1,2,0,6,14,13,3,0,9,1,22,18,5,11,6,63,66,24,0,5,7,1,7,2,0,1,10,6,1,0,16,19,0,3,11,0,0,6,11,8,0,2,15,16,47,5,35,50,6,59,0,1,3,3,23,19,3,6,33,172,63,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12624851272656268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05694741231561421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10895244274412802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05475686469905903,0.059458211917214725,0.2170478283373221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07909936949522188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07822194153437123,0.09185040988874403,0.0,0.061333931400421274,0.14455533545064034,0.0,0.0,0.08161397735705793,0.4373248661274924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0825821539519734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261436218866268,0.0,0.0,0.14110258500792627,0.12882885585256673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21603853260340788,0.10174630765754666,0.06837372898904855,0.0,0.0,0.06057204165079187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19750027072290635,0.0,0.0,0.04047085331288225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04773123336256523,0.0,0.07143044087514817,0.0,0.07012849229079676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03913570419470788,0.11609294154985733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0695801968283624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060541047098758474,0.0,0.13476314319907706,0.2852033795030638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15137205023642786,0.0,0.0,0.05492231451456397,0.2063280874989457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08107419739594217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054159175668219775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06820045507038129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0715867252989716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912391822761494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2709518790116581,0.05662984673620191,0.0,0.0,0.1702378458583106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07126242941370145,0.0,0.0,0.05482170814797835,0.0,0.0,0.10080702702013808,0.07590145286554234,0.0,0.17860675806600418,0.0,0.0,0.08151955984063723,0.0,0.0,0.06711552633574641,0.0,0.10708362188960337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045629134502276784,0.06996444759252796,0.0,0.041523707743273366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07911804305895882,0.0,0.0,0.06956280127804987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042002093804257,0.05652397853423662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07722529366392812,0.1555273720257784,0.0,0.0,0.050586252449971184,0.0,0.0,0.18343020134989926
bipolarreddit,Rose42HL,2020/01/11,emotions are more authentic when i reduce my seroquel I am giving an update to a previous post. I reduced my seroquel by 100mg a month or so ago. I am still having the physical symptoms of withdrawal but i have noticed something surprisingly positive. My mental acuity is better. I am feeling sharper. I also never realized how stunted my emotions were since i have been on it so long. Even 100mg down I am feeling emotions more and it is good. I feel more happy. I feel more anger. I feel more sadness. It is all fine. I am not acting out in any way. I am just FEELING things more. I am even grateful for the emotions like sadness and anger and anxiety because they are important emotions and so i am going to continue to reduce my medication until i can manage my illness on the least possible meds.,3.0324731182795723,5.4243326774193585,4.960000000000004,77.9066666666667,77.06451612903227,7.2301075268817225,31.623655913978496,8.238735603445708,2.8547978494623654,635,33,107,12,15,217,90,155,0.139,0.629,0.23199999999999998,0.9166,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,1,10,10,2,0,6,0,19,3,0,1,2,19,27,13,0,0,4,0,6,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,7,0,0,2,2,4,0,0,2,6,24,6,12,25,8,18,0,2,0,0,2,5,0,1,10,91,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11225486004483744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10127048091648397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08611658227965019,0.0,0.09687592311106864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07719591484079535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1119989385724554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7122402892461291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16728330063669122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3841847276920058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12148045148302818,0.07196995634114722,0.10621597226722164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13480600069601678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061867780365674675,0.0,0.0,0.11206856234107557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14066365552443955,0.12757209130791075,0.1276189468550168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10107936502408543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09766921757762212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14417552310719886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14276266430249038,0.12128194421587175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10475431556969056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09749030769018213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011313910392428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13162292484791485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08413109667511089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10051748194896752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Visual_Anything,2020/01/11,"monochrome life... I want to share this song of [Yann Tiersen](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rlj0Pt19fuA) applies so much to my current state that it's the only thing I can think right now, and music's what makes me sometimes daydream and forget all this stuff...

*> Anyway, I can try anything it's the same circle, that leads to nowhere and I'm tired now.* *Anyway, I've lost my face, my dignity, my look, everything is gone and I'm tired now.*

The meds stole my stability on weight, my memory, give me a lot of acne, my doctors don't care because it's no Lamictal ""rash"", I feel so horrible. I believe I don't have friends anymore because I isolate myself for months. I don't have work and the only email that I received I don't have the brain to respond, I just don't know what to say. I bought creative stuff because I think it will be happy, but I have only used it 4 times in one month.

I got sick of two different things this month too, and I took 2 times antibiotics plus all bipolar drugs, and the only thing I do is sleep, I don't feel super depressed but sometimes I just don't feel anything anymore, and on top of all this, have to pretend a little joy so my loved ones don't worry about me... sometimes it's so much, I'm just so tired now...  :(",2.6139393939393933,4.482266714285714,3.48679653679654,90.46577922077923,76.30158730158729,6.169119769119768,25.343434343434343,6.980632752743323,0.9623031746031744,980,35,204,10,22,312,129,252,0.109,0.7509999999999999,0.14,0.8340000000000001,2,0,1,0,0,0,59.0,0,0,0,5,16,9,0,0,8,0,20,14,4,3,3,30,41,16,0,1,5,0,4,0,1,1,8,2,0,0,20,9,1,0,6,2,1,4,9,2,0,3,5,7,31,7,16,34,7,21,0,2,1,1,8,6,0,1,10,131,51,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20664081683902955,0.0,0.0,0.17146558417010638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19052488056868905,0.0,0.0,0.11737727757820116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11630140829379786,0.0,0.0,0.10622034736564846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08973168144851112,0.0,0.0,0.10884786740414236,0.0,0.10663454600323506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1208178794764081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09363193608954044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15803243282754598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0804906448881425,0.0,0.0,0.09994073113828822,0.0,0.0,0.08332374886213903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11090352486276972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0572556244460561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07358672717503555,0.0,0.10441759105369523,0.0,0.0,0.08748652166555967,0.0,0.11372680461555487,0.08857168990781164,0.09402819417960076,0.0,0.06954219905490458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11572255787723035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24947089478620374,0.0,0.15317130557600622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14119264616158225,0.3169399898302473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08897073730587393,0.0,0.08284959486187403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10425709667378903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30911556380896993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23852660373871476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2076413911175974,0.13351105557539542,0.0,0.0,0.12149855816204498,0.3592251592502144,0.0,0.0,0.1157498773435436,0.07073264275726261,0.0,0.10177053683705624,0.0,0.0,0.08997967514417145,0.0,0.0,0.06144915897871475,0.0,0.0,0.1268654360226439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07584563326527265,0.10580173368539676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,LittleStarDarling,2020/01/11,"Experiences with Journalling for Bipolar? This year I've begun a daily journal and a bullet journal, and I was wondering: 

• What experiences other people have/had with journalling? 

• Whether journalling positively or negatively affected your mental health?

• If there are any particular spreads you would recommend for mental health?",7.4116,11.569217660000005,6.671500000000003,58.36325000000002,82.4,8.9,38.25,8.841846274778883,5.519799999999999,273,16,29,8,8,84,39,50,0.032,0.8320000000000001,0.136,0.7399,0,0,0,1,0,0,7.0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,3,3,0,1,0,10,4,5,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,4,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,2,22,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17302092151135134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4977621378071976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5408937491912461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5128105924004134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17638951905283376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2759181575939761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18073955971370328,0.0,0.0,0.16384438570026755
bipolarreddit,UrgentDivergent,2020/01/11,"I can't take meds for my bipolar and it's hard to live like this I have tried everything, every type of medication for depression, anxiety, mood stabilizers, and I'm so highly sensitive to side effects that all of them make me deathly ill or cause me to go dangerously manic or suicidal. I've been fighting this battle for 13 years and I don't know what to do at this point. I'm sick and I can't get help, I just live with it. I feel like I'm 2 different people all of the time. 

For the most part my periods of depression are long and every time I start feeling up again, I get so happy, because the darkness has lifted, but I only ever get a few days of sunshine and rainbows before the soul-crushing sadness takes over again. And every single time that happens I get more depressed, because it's like a tease, a taste of the joy I could have, the outgoing, productive and happy person I could be, and then it's just yanked back away from me, like the universe is mocking me. A slap right in the face . It's getting so tiring. I am so tired guys. I don't want to do this anymore. I don't even know why I'm posting this, I'm just lost. 

At the moment I'm in a very bad depression and I can't leave my bed. I haven't eaten in days, my partner just brought me a sandwich and begged me to please eat, he's afraid I'm going to waste away. So I'm forcing food into my body and hating every bite, because I don't want to keep going, I only do this because I love him and I don't want him to be hurt, but at the same time I feel like I'm just dragging him down with my problems and he'd be better off without me anyway. I don't see the point in living anymore only to suffer every moment of my life. It's just not worth fighting this fight, I'm never going to win. I really just want to lie down and die.",3.8027697998259375,3.884147000000002,5.360642950391647,85.05295746301131,71.16710182767625,7.949912967798086,27.446583986074852,7.645422480735847,1.4285074847693653,1403,44,306,15,24,478,178,383,0.237,0.6409999999999999,0.122,-0.9923,1,0,0,0,5,1,39.0,0,0,1,4,18,32,8,1,17,0,26,15,2,3,4,53,66,25,3,7,13,0,4,5,1,0,7,0,1,3,16,18,5,1,6,0,1,5,13,19,0,0,4,7,43,12,42,56,8,44,0,8,2,1,15,20,0,3,23,191,59,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0626695317816761,0.0,0.16248773358465773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15393542152577333,0.06299238431177925,0.06840082163515046,0.19975373377280514,0.0,0.06970894969787242,0.0,0.0,0.0724526880877642,0.0,0.09099604057768614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0841556896745946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13081490376346164,0.0,0.0,0.10566485774350116,0.0,0.2822346092576068,0.0,0.08502132347702512,0.08559026987296482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08382589009145942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05410821280007494,0.07410246042128807,0.3451109304760495,0.0,0.07362553690534665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12426553589855725,0.1170491142890226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09905950029793516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2140023589309301,0.0,0.1862309362905895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08111491682993606,0.07244269054848718,0.17441338722096605,0.07338534874560347,0.08088027385648433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054910086838876236,0.0865542980822586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08769839212473901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07281537077521284,0.0,0.0,0.09004355280361823,0.0,0.0,0.08674277492309172,0.0,0.0,0.05786340135259128,0.20011292297277786,0.0,0.2170138930195397,0.07249772806096062,0.0,0.0,0.08942672126679485,0.0,0.07393712626098999,0.0,0.054683070294514614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09099604057768614,0.08252704050633751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06318271804289917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18691440569790094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08871273024272704,0.0,0.05679387968517075,0.07153047537614829,0.0,0.08992493166595009,0.15488412048297728,0.0,0.07845791207445663,0.0,0.0,0.07838757224332707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05248085026251008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06996029962197135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06528062962000585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05798428217430038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08960855079991907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12318916907751785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910757579412124,0.18831285082341467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055619151084918016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0675936104784937,0.19327710228541453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07392118580657975,0.0,0.0,0.0789691613309524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05275459890428343
bipolarreddit,signorialchoad,2020/01/11,"WIP: Some Gentle Suggestion for Future Upswinging Self (potentially non-finite litany of precautions, feel free to add!) Spend as little money as possible. Gamify this frugality if you must, go overboard scrimping.  You are definitely broke, and not in a position to be charitable or enterprising.  

Remember that everything your family does for you is based in love and a fear that grows out of love. Always tell them where you are, but take whatever space you need.  They might not know what is best for you, and you needn’t capitulate to demands.  

Write, but do not publish.  Record, but do not post.  

Eat, sleep.  Drink water. 

You do not drink or use drugs.  Don’t smoke cigarettes, not even sympathetically— in fact, your impulse to join in, to join crowds, to peer in on parties, should be cautiously reconsidered whenever it perks up. 

You are not a smarter version of the person authoring these guidelines— if ypu must, think of these as being sent back from a future you survived into. 

Do not contact old friends/teachers, especially not with new collaborative ideas. Especially not her. 

Listen more, talk less— listen more, interpret less. 

Music, not podcasts.  No TV.  The news isn’t for you. 

Sure, become an Instapoet. 

“The illuminati” is likely a network of small-time mercenaries in central Asia.  That last time you credulously texted “The Illuminati”, lit candles, purchased ornate candles, ceremoniously tried to join, is nothing to sneeze at, psychosis-wise.  Do not send anyone abroad money. How they knew last time you were manic— i.e. ideally prepped to believe in your own lucrative chosenness— is indeed strange. The world is indeed strange, but conspiratorial speculation leave to cooler tempers.  

Conserve and subdue your bliss with breath, and keep it to yourself. It will alarm most everyone else.  Not everyone who isn’t alarmed should be welcomed into your life intimately.  You will attract strange birds.  

Acknowledge that if cheeky prophylactic instructions like these significantly curbed true psychosis, outcomes would be a lot rosier, and interventional treatment less commonly necessary.   However, a self-fulfilling and self-affirming prophecy is that this will help you. 

Accepting that you can’t slow down your thoughts slows down your thoughts

If meditation is uncomfortable, love the discomfort— if meditation is impossible, try walking meditation, try gentle chanting. Remember that you are essentially gentle and you are essentially humble.  Try out the shallow part of the ocean to ground and revivify, and to chasten hypersensuality. Remember that you don’t know anything, and that this has always been the case, and has always been okay. 

Do not be scared of people.  You’ve done nothing wrong. 

You are a child of god, safe and protected. It is this faith that saves you, that keeps you within reach.",6.736744186046515,9.82367345010616,6.444493161506943,68.36816471633834,68.21443736730362,9.816639510196019,33.45879622771935,10.098585116613544,4.144151493605886,2269,106,340,64,43,709,265,471,0.051,0.746,0.203,0.9979,1,0,5,0,0,0,88.0,0,29,3,3,4,25,1,4,18,1,48,11,2,2,5,84,67,28,0,13,25,0,1,2,0,9,2,2,0,3,24,20,4,6,14,3,6,5,21,7,0,0,8,4,33,19,48,44,11,40,1,1,1,3,52,22,0,11,14,225,57,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2488127417742321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06969507402444869,0.0,0.08202402797956697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07664391854226921,0.0,0.0,0.11008320084986016,0.0,0.11229958649530897,0.1046027577360315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08722625977410324,0.102002126247578,0.0,0.1952870967579568,0.11559134941940807,0.10199240371826401,0.08326566826035663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06583439410375251,0.0,0.0,0.19048745829558555,0.08958145837558053,0.0,0.0939647143865476,0.11216208061097466,0.050398672342573295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05664759663827095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06681004805275782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125209368105586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17719143059256934,0.0,0.0,0.10955754099065793,0.16249684864868807,0.0,0.10554142771339163,0.0,0.0,0.0704033966692913,0.09739233550309008,0.0999005304953841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08474011629049072,0.2698817235278292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10573941812755926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07390774577426967,0.0,0.09626673123186287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912816917979668,0.0,0.10459214005564546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079383062678331,0.0,0.0691020912424122,0.08703236094198973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11236858035703297,0.09546109244362598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3387370163802129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09979205838316953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3119482741081383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09974697903406077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09394250313033116,0.0,0.07494319149228933,0.08011498531490029,0.08712033893496669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0638677120607098,0.0,0.15826162436233598,0.11624258223473953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2706911149159653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08608719268463662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07080625659344743,0.10897895972925667,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Kristosfer,2020/01/11,"What personality type are you? 16 personalities based on carl Jung typology (im asking for help with my research)   

Hello dears, im interested in finding correlation between our diagnostics, spiritual interest, discomfort in modern western socierty and personality type based on Myers briggs test, results and insights will be shared. [https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test](https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test)

Please take your time and follow instructions answering the test and dont forget to share the four letters personality type result and if you had a mental health issue, occult-spiritual inclination or any info you think/feel important to share, 

Thank you!",14.292695139911634,18.009924690721647,12.197790868924887,32.29164948453609,49.51546391752578,12.55316642120766,39.63033873343152,12.031772070788634,6.153254491899856,593,25,60,17,7,184,76,97,0.061,0.733,0.20600000000000002,0.9285,0,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,1,5,0,0,0,8,0,1,3,0,5,1,0,2,0,15,9,7,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,1,6,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,1,0,7,7,9,6,0,7,0,0,0,0,17,4,0,2,2,33,8,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12916353687843787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17756526796033867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2226045144524131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09603775279546267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17359879375857518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2018939360359276,0.0,0.0,0.12731063301688814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4103286735824599,0.19824467156063635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19141162029592707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6633819485194417,0.0,0.2084935689135911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14280883530655353,0.0,0.0,0.17486828617670033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217038318153652,0.0,0.0,0.11075367522663747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,anonacountus,2020/01/11,"How often do you have a manic episode In 2018 I had a manic episode. Lasted almost 2 months. Was hospitalized for one month I was diagnosed bipolar 1..I haven’t taken meds since and that was the only time I’ve experienced it. I’m just scared it will happen again one day :/ 
 How many times have you had a manic episode? I just wanna know other people’s experience",0.9445833333333342,3.5275909583333345,2.951333333333338,86.72700000000002,90.80555555555556,5.102222222222223,18.31111111111111,6.742157984588678,0.34703444444444465,287,8,55,4,10,96,51,72,0.08199999999999999,0.9179999999999999,0.0,-0.6486,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,2,0,0,6,1,0,1,4,0,10,2,0,2,0,9,14,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,6,1,5,0,3,7,0,8,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,7,35,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25107191352140623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16170141915300926,0.0,0.0,0.2544877362748967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2452640406032877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22172150929097584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377957684783757,0.2043800721738508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25420292816029233,0.0,0.0,0.2785067658811408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4002638342537061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3398050299785137,0.19069300999998007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17382602201747072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2510265062287285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2074081292188371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2924077302960381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ParanoiaIncognito,2020/01/11,"I'm at the point where I think I'm self-aware enough to question my mental state. You know what I mean. It's like you do something that seems logical to you, then you find out you were wrong and you wonder if your perception of things is going wonky again.

To keep it short. Memory blows (forgetting relatives are dead and forgetting how to do my job of 20 years). Ringing in ears, LOUD. Random pain in my sides and in my lungs (don't smoke). Just had an brain MRI, looks clear. I'm starting to feel embarrassed. I don't want to talk to anyone about it. I feel like a hypochondriac. I hate wondering if I am off or is there something really wrong with me.",1.8803321678321687,4.047447674242426,2.8518181818181816,92.70157342657343,79.83333333333334,7.0918414918414925,20.002331002331,8.139509932561175,0.7914351981351979,511,13,112,10,13,162,90,132,0.155,0.789,0.055999999999999994,-0.9277,1,0,3,0,0,0,20.0,0,7,0,0,6,7,1,1,3,0,10,5,3,1,1,28,27,8,1,3,4,0,2,2,0,0,2,3,0,0,6,5,0,1,12,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,2,6,18,2,17,25,1,16,0,0,1,0,9,10,0,8,6,67,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12239978305561895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19541489460256176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18087455646162154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17702216827715012,0.12505652425993746,0.0,0.0,0.15999351289950556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09948556101273788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17282669742734502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17371118292357576,0.15559344019232366,0.0,0.0,0.09620349384132594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17104222792957394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469988167919012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1906819406430046,0.0,0.0,0.17641031298593868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18626668775934246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654798491070262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1960972683638504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11214220225246507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1593599258819308,0.1826164503487324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2695257423219273,0.0,0.0,0.12390205315898775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14069942473420685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11629615713070855,0.11216566177614383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10324966052781648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3796708512732947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.382781745057299,0.0,0.11272715419967115
bipolarreddit,cat-pants,2020/01/11,"women—Worse depression during your period? What do you do during your period if your depression gets way worse? (I am already on an AD and a mood stabilizer)

I’ll talk to my pdoc about it during my next visit,  but in the meantime I was curious to see what your pdocs do for you —or what you do to alleviate the worse symptoms",5.245153846153848,5.536007323076927,6.904423076923077,74.50432692307693,68.07692307692308,10.807692307692307,28.55769230769231,10.686352973137794,3.00676923076923,256,8,50,7,4,89,43,65,0.16,0.7979999999999999,0.042,-0.8079,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,7,0,0,1,3,0,0,4,0,6,1,0,0,0,3,8,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,1,11,0,7,7,0,7,0,2,1,0,9,2,0,1,3,35,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26062986885468675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4068419859654245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12339400180263133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25117949826412234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882044237560896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24548085443255796,0.0,0.18983207578417094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18746823460087134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7220610354341378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,snicklefritzsdad,2020/01/11,"I can’t sleep Please someone give me some advice on how to sleep at night. I’m up all night doing stuff, fixated on certain tasks that don’t matter, and I can’t get myself to fall asleep. I’ve slept maybe 6 hours this week during short naps, but that’s it. I feel so wired I can’t get myself to sleep.",2.011818181818178,2.982657151515156,3.1458787878787886,96.0188181818182,75.96969696969697,5.8860606060606075,17.745454545454546,5.6839178017228535,-0.6093236363636358,236,3,57,1,5,76,47,66,0.0,0.9229999999999999,0.077,0.3071,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,5,5,5,1,2,8,11,4,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,1,1,7,1,7,10,2,10,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,1,4,30,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21018860991393384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10875863217220934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22475680328248795,0.20633898413913712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21182551480798392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2160921110151452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40370468274357424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23611001623536254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6457518322694324,0.0,0.1822495255515752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24623262480190766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17253645246961954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Delilah43,2020/01/11,"Verbalizing symptoms to psychiatrist and therapist I went off my meds 3 weeks ago, which was stupid. Everything is now fucked. Blew my savings on weird shit, did about every drug under the sun, coke binge, slept with multiple people I didn’t know, drove 7 hours to hookup with someone, sent pics to strangers, etc. Haven’t slept in 5 days now. I’m so fucking stupid and I hate myself. Had a welfare check. My speech is still rapid and kinda tangential. Keep thinking my hands aren’t mine and I cut my knee open I had surgery on to check for an implant and I think I might need stitches. Can’t go to the hospital so I think I have to stitch it myself. Can’t stop crying. Bones feel dirty.

I can’t be hospitalized. I know I need to restart my meds. I see my doctor in the morning and I’m terrified. I’m afraid I’m going to get fired because I was doing good before this. I’m also feeling really ashamed. How do you get it across to your doctor that you’re not doing well without  having to tell them everything? I know I screwed up.",1.3129347826086963,3.7768993333333367,2.538001207729472,92.22845108695653,84.65217391304347,5.575603864734299,21.668478260869566,6.996647511020387,0.6173898550724646,810,27,169,11,24,259,129,207,0.22399999999999998,0.755,0.021,-0.9914,1,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,2,1,0,9,14,8,2,5,0,20,14,6,1,0,27,49,10,0,2,2,0,4,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,5,9,1,2,8,0,2,5,8,11,1,0,11,6,29,3,23,36,1,22,0,0,1,3,5,9,4,2,8,98,34,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242882574300873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11212638452526012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08547109436911296,0.0,0.11930891313952001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15401478553908776,0.09042425247445582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2870230276669025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16259980870815324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15637190760592976,0.0,0.0,0.11813349707927848,0.0,0.25202453416849074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14178940765391532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25924492320725073,0.1465085270342094,0.0,0.15936985636769369,0.1176020182917914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384289622791203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380792203374379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12462564397677277,0.0,0.0,0.2311682746644916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3114847877748112,0.0,0.0,0.14874131366067245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20792880064655286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09720439179735904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08982251536704867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11172971336941784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439241895887398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188000058342404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111972384614151,0.11722235901154893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457325229452373,0.0,0.0,0.12255026450133813,0.0,0.0,0.16279533999061602,0.0,0.269523917209894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11246850436496396,0.0,0.12606618866088318,0.12997665219502794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13515803710671745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,AScarybat,2020/01/12,"I feel stuck in life Some background.. 22 F Had a really bad manic episode last year that lasted around 4 months and was hospitalized for like 3 months and was put on lithium 1200 mg and Abilify 400 mg injection. That pretty much got me out of my mania and was stable for a bit but after being on Abilify for a while my emotions got numbed and I started getting anxiety and lost my drive to do anything and wouldn’t leave the house for days. As of recently I’ve been off of Abilify now for a month and a half, still on lithium, but been doing really bad have had too much anxiety to leave the house/drive anywhere I also don’t have a job  which doesn’t help and been really depressed and don’t feel like theres a point in living... don’t know what to do..I dont know if it’s the lithium causing all this or just depression followed by my manic episode. I also don’t want to get on SSRIs because I’ve heard it those just numb your emotions even more, but have heard of ECT and have been thinking of talking to my doctor to do that. It sucks being bi polar just want to be happy again/normal.",5.989533333333334,5.147570231111118,6.616722222222228,81.01975000000002,66.6888888888889,9.633333333333333,30.75,8.841846274778883,2.246933333333333,862,27,179,12,12,284,124,225,0.16,0.754,0.086,-0.9529,2,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,0,1,11,11,1,0,10,0,26,5,0,1,1,32,44,20,0,4,8,0,2,2,0,1,4,2,0,0,10,13,0,0,5,0,0,3,7,8,0,1,15,4,11,3,29,25,6,26,0,3,0,1,5,10,1,3,15,119,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20080422065142006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19209046964285334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10331676792691967,0.11176591853608628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2096576371054817,0.07653397800027692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13706783803717915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289742039961891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08096921889972182,0.0,0.2162716758066344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285055155030863,0.0,0.0,0.14714340215990962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2824531984133812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08292444280986988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269634779589131,0.08969278489819696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13118915193089195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20082724975176489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13365007089885492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08415336822488942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448675846063709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12458877980640445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13799774670899492,0.2046796483205449,0.0,0.26587816917395474,0.0,0.0,0.08867951957638595,0.12267455735702312,0.0,0.11086275218599907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13705241126264356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3006378996216173,0.0,0.18458706227087315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11868511937923272,0.0,0.0,0.12772925792018802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12621220173252612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2412912037376053,0.0,0.12396525713794072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08886477749321392,0.0,0.1002642131115013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10091215402528236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08044722683752455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481050212667718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08084993928666252
bipolarreddit,valproate9,2020/01/12,"lithium not working like at the beginning? in the beginning on the 3rd day or something I felt lithium made me calm but that went away. I am now taking 3x tablets a day as opposed to 1 in the beginning and I am like 2 weeks in and I don't feel like lithium is working at all? 

Is this because I am taking it with magnesium and other supplements?",1.6190342052313866,3.7249517887323975,3.655855130784712,86.91746478873242,80.40845070422536,6.874044265593561,29.86116700201207,7.957251820313856,2.2079279678068406,271,14,55,5,7,92,47,71,0.111,0.865,0.025,-0.698,0,0,1,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,2,1,4,0,0,5,0,6,0,0,1,1,12,15,6,0,0,3,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,1,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,2,6,4,10,12,1,15,0,0,0,0,0,7,0,1,10,39,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2499773972874257,0.0,0.0,0.16219112525251622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3431806125147622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13453076590409715,0.1900773236903721,0.2554647085712738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3899586500818877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2517577117156743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20483030401407396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4000964502486859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21342178210149376,0.0,0.0,0.2466454844374225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38739786325227743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,cyrukus,2020/01/12,"How to deal with my Rapid Cycle Bipolar Mother My mother got diagnosed in the start of December, has been on lithium for two weeks now, 1st week 400mg and the 2nd week 600mg (this was increased after a 2 day manic episode during which I kinda had a private breakdown for an hour or two) 

I'm wondering how I should act and talk to her. I know I should ask her psychologist and I will try and do that if I can get her alone. Also what I've been doing is avoiding contact as much as possible but I also sort of had an argument or two with her and from what Ive seen online its not good to engage a manic person like that and that it'd be better to diffuse the situation or change the topic. Also I'm an adult, late 20s 

I'm also curious if anyone with Bipolar or RCBD can tell me how quickly or how effective Lithium helps in avoiding / treating Mania / Hypomania (for you personally not necessarily what it does in general) 

Also I sincerely apologize if I broke any of this subreddits rules.",7.052311557788944,5.847691140703522,8.240346733668343,71.42745477386937,64.7286432160804,11.176080402010047,34.97537688442211,10.355215969177356,3.5149433165829134,783,30,149,16,10,271,123,199,0.091,0.7879999999999999,0.12,0.7898,0,3,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,2,11,9,0,2,10,0,17,3,0,5,0,34,27,26,0,5,11,2,0,1,0,3,3,0,0,3,12,9,0,2,3,0,0,2,2,3,0,3,7,1,18,6,21,15,2,16,0,1,1,0,17,4,0,11,11,108,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14231522184019482,0.0,0.5494332604674074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09344344799001812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09608020113605786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12845971303109616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12152789526002288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14536146052576698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08861802165961354,0.1416635793213947,0.0,0.13946816202011744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12024833463125326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07179100444155362,0.0,0.0,0.1152529096896906,0.10989925437210596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09210296343995368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13532107818156738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07551689069633341,0.0,0.15500435899542872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06713153917423753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10101209141379568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2399620593478093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15490902267052167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15445449146703058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09725943863214696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110444877357727,0.12010231433252785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932923062745661,0.0,0.4026885348358403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3306658141958402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14901518142095205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Bright-Nectarine,2020/01/12,"suicidal AND euphoric episode?? hi all! i was diagnosed with bipolar after a weird episode over the summer. the part that felt most severe and scary (in retrospect) was a day I spent simultaneously intensely suicidal and intensely euphoric. i was on a weekend vacation with my S/O and basically kept thinking “things will never be this happy and lovely again, so I need to kill myself before it all goes downhill”... then after that the next few days transitioned into pretty standard hypomania, i was diagnosed, etc ... but my question is:

so usually when you have simultaneous symptoms of mania/hypomania AND depression that’s a mixed state, right? but everything I’ve read about mixed states suggests they’re extremely unpleasant — agitation, irritability, etc etc — and i haven’t been able to find anything online about episodes like mine. i wanted to ask if anyone has experienced something similar and exactly how you classify it — is it just straight up mania (I spent that day feeling VERY happy and also sincerely believing that secret messages in books were telling me to kill myself) — or mixed because the symptoms are combined, even though it doesn’t seem to fit the profile? i know that in theory i can just ask a psychiatrist but would appreciate any and all thoughts/anecdotes from people with personal experience with bipolar as well",10.378896103896103,10.356038112554113,9.847370129870134,58.74819805194807,57.48484848484848,13.241125541125536,43.92532467532467,12.45797560212912,5.9878857142857145,1088,57,158,32,12,351,152,231,0.14,0.705,0.154,0.3907,0,0,1,0,0,2,29.0,0,2,0,0,13,10,2,0,10,0,17,7,0,1,5,42,30,23,4,4,7,0,2,1,0,2,6,0,0,1,12,15,0,1,8,3,2,0,3,4,1,0,10,3,18,6,23,17,9,25,0,1,0,1,12,10,0,5,14,117,30,2,0.11903155011257152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09518948762010887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08094553584232607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08322962746010246,0.0,0.09795282359728263,0.0,0.22255686255422166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07256052813771899,0.0,0.10128708205787604,0.13410779569083114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302965077644782,0.0,0.10252169969331887,0.2416290355396284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3982549288343674,0.07861921623606785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106977882042521,0.1164356963738109,0.0,0.0,0.06018592823482299,0.0,0.1142889547478031,0.0,0.1087926803645396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2534225969550259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2633815484163945,0.0,0.06541662699790418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058152802869166735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074306212785903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08826038616517683,0.09180446950911517,0.0,0.12659140392821375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12889956923203447,0.0,0.08252148937817949,0.10393375829737883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121097879079201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13334257777606212,0.0,0.11906376174050892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016522934187958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10836185271011196,0.0,0.13447177064349827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916363026320404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2604023924416055,0.0,0.0,0.2474387138669888,0.0,0.0,0.10403882132633252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07907927278459394,0.07627061102879742,0.11694789362941165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13109643579826494,0.09821349483525868,0.07020789225751586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10702365866569094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08455659801795683,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,amalthead,2020/01/12,"Unsure whether I was manic, overly exhausted, or just a shit person? I've been on an intense trip abroad for the past two weeks, averaging less than 5 hours of sleep a night but taking my meds every day. 

I've been working on things with my ex after losing his trust for being so unstable and sleeping with other people (I never cheated as we were never officially together but there was an understanding). Well I fucked up and ended up in an emotionally intense fling while travelling. It was the most infatuation I have ever experienced and it feels like it changed my life on a deeper level. But I've lost my ex. And the whole time I knew the other person was never a viable partner, I feel like I was pulled into something so deep that I couldn't resist. I hate myself, especially since I did it while stable.

Hearing myself talk about these feelings and the affair makes me feel like a crazy person. I guess at the end of the day it doesn't matter whether I was manic or not- what I did was so shitty. I lost everything and I deserve it.",4.501494252873564,5.937854748768473,5.731349753694585,78.0760065681445,70.47783251231526,7.777865353037767,25.848604269293922,8.238735603445708,1.7126501806239736,826,25,150,12,15,276,123,203,0.16,0.696,0.14300000000000002,-0.7011,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,1,0,0,4,8,13,4,0,15,0,16,6,3,1,4,34,30,19,0,1,9,2,4,3,1,0,2,1,0,4,12,10,0,0,6,1,0,3,6,8,1,1,15,6,24,5,19,13,3,30,0,3,0,1,11,11,2,4,19,116,36,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13443970956593335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16391939171681866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142954190189645,0.22512023401592016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149561973240271,0.10707509574428717,0.0,0.11421633911290513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2570331832279569,0.2723699254177395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11748858562532905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13999911169518198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254707153879648,0.0,0.0,0.143234702934898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12515371256643396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08976431478673211,0.1862628085186051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14217627463103516,0.2774578808191143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08483062213213619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14116344770312872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29404873852425983,0.0,0.0,0.11926122278426385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12131758136874515,0.08810515066258115,0.3328987213895413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13045153797310552,0.1051265182357628,0.0,0.2543547512941077,0.0,0.0,0.09783670060240876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09555255215648564,0.10214658810741613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0844300229609805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07410463299346087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12414416098336037,0.13230058729772107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10194039938573574,0.0,0.1142652131251364,0.0,0.0,0.1418865293893725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09251982743339998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hooray_this_sucks,2020/01/12,"Seroquel and weight loss Just wanting to know if anyone has successfully lost weight after coming off seroquel? I’m ready to start weaning off slowly and ready to work towards health. 

I’m only on 250mg a day and don’t binge as such, but I am compelled to make wrong choices. I don’t/can’t over eat because I have had a gastric sleeve but I have managed to gain 13kg in 13 months since starting a higher dose of seroquel.",4.4660714285714285,5.675221083333337,4.620000000000001,86.875,70.30952380952381,6.076190476190478,29.47619047619048,5.46131890053228,1.1730619047619046,337,13,65,1,6,105,62,84,0.091,0.769,0.14,0.4678,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,5,2,4,0,0,3,0,6,5,0,2,0,12,15,7,0,2,4,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,2,2,4,1,14,13,0,12,0,2,0,0,0,6,0,1,5,35,4,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16461139625770965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14351007224767945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20279380291204616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518266625850182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24089381091487055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2502408441884906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12938087838680729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25698914333120754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571449248125966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1879102930157931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17904779956935635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19474216254404605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3332634986849617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13885703355287254,0.0,0.0,0.5733571752413437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17138883295055155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25739521730693155,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,imastrudel,2020/01/12,"Numb to happiness I feel absolutely nothing except rage, and intense sadness. I can’t seem to enjoy anything. It’s not like I’m doing mundane things either, I’m actively going out with friends and family and it’s just so frustrating because I just feel so out of place all the time. Everyone is interacting and conversing and having a good time and I can’t connect I just laugh and pretend. It’s all so forced. I’m so over everything, I’m exhausted and I feel like I’m getting worse at hiding it and people are starting to catch on and get irritated of me.",3.0872972972972974,5.211994171171174,5.110171171171171,78.19552702702704,75.75675675675676,8.403963963963964,30.01891891891892,9.120678840339163,2.9365956756756764,447,21,82,11,10,154,67,111,0.23,0.588,0.182,-0.6297,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,7,12,2,0,2,0,6,2,0,0,2,25,19,14,0,0,6,0,3,2,1,0,2,0,0,0,5,13,0,0,4,1,0,2,3,5,0,0,0,3,7,7,12,19,3,11,0,1,0,0,3,6,0,1,5,53,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1943118956129908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14394045267227054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22562887987612804,0.21221516935344212,0.0,0.22259894110213294,0.0,0.35817778523518673,0.16868873665022804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18243065934223565,0.0,0.2467325808486727,0.0,0.13419606615081794,0.19805160882800546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2513609276234488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307188490486727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265696348061681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16370030429961155,0.0,0.24670181542375985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21496059265025289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16713147066453973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15687187805474875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27537438798552955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406329591934436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,brain_curious,2020/01/12,"Who has an integrative pDoc? tl;dr - anyone here worked with an integrative psychiatrist? Any tips, advice, recommendations, , what to look for etc? 

So, I'm preparing for my next taper down on lamotrigene. Probably from 150mg to 137.5mg; a few months ago I went from 200 to 150 and that was too much. Couple weeks of not being able to do much focused work, and some withdrawal effects, but it settled out eventually. I'm now aiming for probably 5-10% dose reductions at a time. 

I have a good functional medicine MD, who no longer prescribes psych meds for me after he recommended a 2-day taper off Abilify that sent me back to mania. I really like the guy, but don't know if I like him as my doctor, and definitely not for the bipolar side. A little over a year ago I found a nurse psychiatrist to prescribes meds. She's helped me taper off Abilify (6 months) and the last lamotrigene taper, but for the most part she just goes along with what I plan, and does not have a good idea about what it takes to taper, or about supplements, or other integrative methods. But, she's open minded and supportive of a taper, and not all script-writers are.

I recently saw a new therapist / coach, who isn't a MD but hires & trains integrative MD pDocs in other businesses he owns. He also has a bipolar diagnosis, and I'm excited about taking advice from someone coming from a similar position, who has been successful in helping others. He recommended I see an integrative pDoc, which I've been thinking about for a long time. I haven't actually had a real psychiatrist since my last one retired in 2012. Been sort of piecing it together with different providers, and lots of self-experimentation, but might be nice to take advice from people who really know this stuff. 

I have a 15 min meet and greet with one of his psychiatrists this coming week. I also met last Friday with a neurofeedback / neurostim provider (who is also a therapist, but only does neuro stuff these days), and have a meeting with an integrative neurotherapist (neurofeedback included) on Thursday. I don't feel like I NEED to change my care up in order to be ok or to continue tapering, but I'm hoping to find the most optimal advice. 

Any thoughts or feedback? Thanks y'all!",7.7328772993311015,7.679935872596157,8.28458612040134,67.88106605351173,62.87019230769231,11.946321070234113,34.673494983277585,11.467429594995785,4.127119899665551,1777,69,312,49,23,593,223,416,0.006999999999999999,0.826,0.16699999999999998,0.9966,1,0,1,0,0,0,66.0,0,1,0,5,13,13,0,0,28,1,23,4,0,1,1,60,49,29,0,3,18,0,1,3,0,1,4,0,0,1,23,22,0,0,9,1,0,4,9,0,0,2,11,4,26,13,55,34,12,44,0,0,3,0,23,16,0,12,26,207,49,7,0.08969853449161534,0.0,0.08753283049465914,0.0,0.0,0.35060947909352297,0.15902467745388074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21519565687727066,0.0,0.09718832464601336,0.0,0.12199615869621998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06271930091134567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06897263626394826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914536340081492,0.0,0.09488915589089847,0.1545346900269798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09924972232157944,0.0,0.11569626834495812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09371587718385936,0.0,0.0918102509045158,0.15699158400273935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10003757669492157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045354274178363255,0.06408065096342465,0.0,0.0,0.08198283549936974,0.0,0.0,0.09834981325389497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504697500268459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08881565153020272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12024607381154233,0.0,0.0,0.0890908840037752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10125872729789044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0985919374745153,0.21934883254375911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13146651931385245,0.08990149621112513,0.0,0.07938038037681057,0.07532417781977252,0.0,0.0,0.07625848637482317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19926970146613734,0.0,0.0,0.09515597015373782,0.09056994965867199,0.0,0.1431930289145419,0.0,0.13187748739398916,0.06651032675952917,0.0,0.08663140355894912,0.09539540903952007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12156409677567455,0.06821977745164055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09713477179604392,0.0,0.062185669717715726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19342038257530333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10209656975979016,0.11492635611514608,0.0,0.08856648149863898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07147811868140752,0.0,0.09357513399823113,0.0,0.0,0.07419955465054358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07600127719199917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20536672361308728,0.0,0.10178883396536023,0.0,0.0,0.20232640445202585,0.0,0.0,0.08258235918170358,0.0,0.2082938241174147,0.0,0.0574751990341476,0.0,0.07121061696281213,0.10460787359713468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439015076739596,0.0,0.0,0.08315144012488969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13060320282857146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05776291533062705
bipolarreddit,ariana_mcclair,2020/01/12,"I feel numb and empty (I miss latuda) So I was on latuda, was a miracle drug, insurance said fuck you. I switched to geodon, did okay but was inconsistent and ended up off of it because I was working two jobs and couldn’t keep up with my meds, ended up nearly hospitalized and had a brush with psychosis (nothing major/no hospitalization but I’ve never dealt with any kind of psychosis before so it was scary to even have something similar). 

Now I’m back to taking my geodon how I’m supposed to and I just feel really numb and empty and I’m having thoughts of self harm just to make the numbness go away and I don’t remember this happening the first time I was on it but maybe working 68 hours a week made it hard to notice side effects before. 

Does this level out, does this mean I need a boost?  Idk I see my doctor in like 2 weeks and I’ll sort it out then but idk. I just miss latuda and geodon is supposed to be really similar but I’m not feeling the same similar effects.",1.3410187300137046,3.7089696733668376,3.1769232526267714,88.39657720420286,83.42211055276383,6.0302421196893565,21.608268615806303,7.348242739294969,0.853781909547739,771,25,157,12,22,257,112,199,0.162,0.785,0.053,-0.9489,1,0,2,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,0,5,9,10,1,0,7,1,14,6,0,5,1,41,35,19,0,2,9,0,4,1,0,0,5,1,0,1,8,15,0,1,8,0,0,1,4,7,0,2,11,7,15,3,24,22,1,25,0,2,1,1,3,13,1,1,12,98,23,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10075982577255288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13920941092624214,0.11393261701516873,0.0,0.09032229013052008,0.0,0.2521613733224645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1516569863205047,0.2593269299775624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17182870075210085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2624670539539179,0.0,0.0,0.09786405695987324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22475570442993328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260322566157648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13697961481379772,0.0,0.0,0.08420771087086955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310251295927815,0.0,0.13273008990697904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14591636496959373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14703461404607535,0.13169918621096738,0.0,0.15429494441659086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07238776325721677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14020084665406926,0.09890378611868912,0.0,0.14885541699978175,0.16139919765750282,0.16458207058365967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10986524506977556,0.11427686847238334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421719044911065,0.16869109530814322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898413809515346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16784630139886678,0.0,0.14094240434800712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11807130424200207,0.0,0.15457231275261782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11406753678956175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11140445447705642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11762943087733906,0.08639838525023256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447393315901548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2377040555472032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21573721833508827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,RichMan_24,2020/01/12,Does Gabapentin lower your sex drive? Has anyone who is on or has been on Gabapentin noticed a loss of libido from it? What daily dosage? Thanks :),2.0061111111111103,4.859705074074075,1.027685185185188,99.71708333333336,90.85185185185185,2.7,17.86111111111111,3.1291,-0.9697333333333332,115,3,22,0,4,32,24,27,0.133,0.6779999999999999,0.19,0.4479,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,0,0,1,5,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,4,4,0,3,0,1,0,1,2,2,0,1,0,14,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3792880738629629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4746946684981552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6175738367998895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4994077340460536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Trevoratid,2020/01/13,"Why do I have to deal with this This is my second post on here but I’m trying to use this and r/bipolar more because I like the community. So anyway I was mildly depressed throughout last week because my Abilify only kinda works and yesterday I had to deal with some homophobic comments that made me feel completely worthless. To make matters worse, after that event I self harmed for the first time since summer, and now I still feel like crap. I don’t know why I’m posting this, just wanted to share with people who understand I guess.",4.544038461538463,6.23417378846154,5.0242307692307735,82.19576923076926,70.73076923076924,7.507692307692308,27.42307692307693,8.07648339933343,1.8016769230769232,430,15,79,6,8,137,74,104,0.17800000000000002,0.723,0.098,-0.9033,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,2,6,7,1,0,2,0,6,1,1,3,0,20,17,5,0,1,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,7,6,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,4,0,2,3,2,11,3,11,14,2,13,0,2,0,0,6,1,1,3,12,51,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2229742156898173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19175507094917588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3770999437768708,0.15752156280421045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18494780134803404,0.13065555252882965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15556483084025702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2014722579670832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10051071479418222,0.1490785048824196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17870012722766587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1730534831245174,0.12207946735352095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390949152720895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12679183051653012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3503131797147772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1907925505075856,0.0,0.0,0.15128722421676474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460549605837345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10664373190825316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1241692593801361,0.0,0.0,0.1903933370040118,0.0,0.15795690909300614,0.0,0.0,0.1078723523183476,0.0,0.14670209113203433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3300567777487489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331449772361197,0.0,0.1863789655693304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,cakemanis,2020/01/13,"Take NAC with your Lithium Hello, I was taking lithium and in the beginning it worked very well but as time went on I felt worse. I couldn't put my finger on it but I look into studies and I found one that said Lithium drastically decreased Glutathione. If you don't know Glutathione is your body  main defense against everything, basically. So I started taking NAC and from the first dose I felt incredibly better! Lithium together with NAC works wonder. NAC is basically the precursor to Glutathione. Lithium works well but it also has a lot of nasty side effects. 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20363698

Oh and same goes for valproic acid! https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/7514959",5.878684210526316,9.653810201754393,4.349438596491228,77.41573684210529,78.56140350877193,6.548771929824562,31.28421052631579,7.793537801064563,2.870193684210527,569,27,80,10,15,164,79,114,0.078,0.8240000000000001,0.098,-0.2043,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,3,0,6,4,4,1,0,4,0,6,3,2,1,0,21,19,11,0,2,4,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,7,0,1,6,0,0,2,2,1,2,2,6,6,11,3,12,12,3,11,0,0,1,0,5,5,0,3,4,54,15,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14393606908519646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591844613943136,0.0,0.19992571829533434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1617613058462084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3456327646579229,0.0,0.0,0.15309741421366188,0.0,0.19734718237973872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09891651250890612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15114430588116867,0.0,0.0,0.15301907467545744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12196429857617015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809373142559906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17120948428719307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12739619427330398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4059849685383049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10495225372638324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14850867182018568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3236610493993487,0.16685036683396706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19518894277989912,0.3930994869525188,0.0,0.18342280538833425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,immapunchayobuns,2020/01/13,"Low-stress jobs Does anyone have suggestions on what jobs would be low-stress and doesn't require too much mental/physical energy?

In the past two years, I've worked as a professional dog-walker for around 8 months which I loved but was way too exhausting, and had a bumper cars journey with a software engineering program at college (completed one semester, took a break, tried for the next semester but withdrew).

My goal for now is to build on my passions (visual art and writing) which require a lot of emotional, mental, and physical energy. I'm hoping to be able to freelance (which will be a whole other kind of stressful, I know...) in a couple of years, so I definitely need something to keep me afloat in the meantime.

Hit me up with your experiences and suggestions about jobs and/or freelancing!

Thanks so much :)",7.55281133482476,8.25971200671141,7.180760626398211,73.06735272184939,63.16107382550336,10.91752423564504,34.676360924683074,10.746095033038511,3.863223117076808,655,27,112,16,9,206,100,149,0.05,0.737,0.212,0.9753,3,0,1,0,1,0,29.0,0,1,0,4,7,7,0,1,10,0,10,3,0,0,0,19,19,10,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,5,8,0,3,1,1,0,3,1,2,0,2,3,0,8,5,22,10,4,19,0,0,0,2,5,8,0,2,6,73,13,10,0.13929556989710207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09739870125537428,0.0,0.0,0.1240025895842076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460487548279903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541278986470604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12189849191323468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15668876746310031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1362577960836197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138351931057497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4146880783915161,0.12381230276937473,0.0,0.14505490066801885,0.07655320232158201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11842411226979782,0.12571969029428345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2807543435771758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11118439493461184,0.0,0.204796542856124,0.10328590007094386,0.0,0.0,0.14814241885935422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09439028315996018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13297338308905335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10723653507260554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4786878140595791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12824464581121855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15476250350438653,0.09457254835878212,0.0,0.13607153135153405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11056633970923424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15551852925852974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10140883388732083,0.0,0.0,0.09895157626975652,0.0,0.0,0.17940356005816055
bipolarreddit,caitj37,2020/01/13,"Actually wanting to increase meds Never at any point in this process have I WANTED to continue increasing dosages and adding new meds due to side effects and just overall blah feeling. But after having to medically withdraw for a semester I’m taking it very seriously. I had a clear hypomanic episode last week, and while I felt more in control (due to the meds) it scared me bc it was still rather intense. So now I’m trying to call my pdoc to get my dose increased before my next appt which is over two weeks away,...... I’m gonna be really pissed if I have to wait.",4.517229729729729,5.798069945945947,5.448277027027029,80.71403716216219,70.26126126126127,8.432882882882884,30.992117117117118,8.841846274778883,2.4966117117117124,448,19,87,8,8,147,84,111,0.096,0.815,0.08900000000000001,-0.4063,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,5,3,1,1,3,0,7,3,1,2,2,16,18,7,0,4,4,0,2,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,3,0,2,3,0,0,3,1,3,0,1,3,2,8,0,15,13,4,23,0,0,0,0,1,7,1,1,13,52,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.1730888566406583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12061860392238448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666462270060299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15092995933698838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18111598506084514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1989370571539044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08968428664921123,0.0,0.17030431662446638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09266921240803223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14458132800347429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5910587706632576,0.17868298004500954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13679972379939934,0.17130636021314175,0.1886364485885776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16767326224077686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11362863205401265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17757966933170274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14164899345714907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13336118504303493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12042350728260505,0.0,0.17326604105561302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14634994394802445,0.20923644177068196,0.0,0.284553204682126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hot-n-spicy-mchicken,2020/01/13,"A question for other women on Lamotrigine(Lamictal) I just started Lamictal about 2 weeks ago, 25mg, increasing to 50mg in a couple days. 
 

 My period is 4 days late, this has happened once before a couple months ago but it is a rare occurrence and I’m curious if Lamotrigine may be the culprit? Have you experienced your meds messing with your cycle?
 
I’m not on birth control bc my doc told me it would be less effective with my meds so I’ve been waiting to see a OBGYN about other methods. I’ll be taking a pregnancy test tomorrow just to be safe.",3.5844444444444434,5.470765592592597,5.697407407407408,75.58833333333334,73.62962962962962,8.874074074074073,28.66666666666667,9.444778638647367,2.8416777777777784,436,18,80,11,9,152,78,108,0.0,0.892,0.10800000000000001,0.8972,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,3,0,2,5,2,0,0,7,0,11,0,0,2,0,15,19,4,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,5,3,0,3,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,2,8,1,11,11,2,15,0,0,1,0,6,3,0,3,11,50,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3513281040750172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16862644597031512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2222623597529534,0.0,0.4385384373230368,0.0,0.2556040437055867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1752393845648712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22354223333604484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4402401409428814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15817587613059306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2110425447760748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22199360994573392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579143081517701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14026439169676072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489977388384901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1893580991013279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15895848579630306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14077292303633818,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,idfk_2019,2020/01/13,Airplane emotions- does anybody else’s emotions get wacky when flying? I just had an overnight flight and in that time span I felt manic and overrun with thought to very sad and even crying on the plane. Once I landed everything went back to feeling pretty normal. Does this happen to other people?,4.177777777777777,7.2621638148148175,3.653333333333337,84.90000000000002,77.51851851851852,5.0814814814814815,25.66666666666667,6.42735559955562,1.2070222222222222,242,9,38,2,6,72,47,54,0.11900000000000001,0.799,0.08199999999999999,-0.4859,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,9,7,4,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,4,2,3,0,6,3,0,8,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,3,22,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17101485053303142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443002117346193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3892542568683229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18578989804944115,0.50034884584032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14689566089156514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19988226079779592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11245408091934983,0.0,0.2135425961240084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161968445110772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1966710108168353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21790857519528314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368528667772337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541868426106589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2262646949632804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17656383278807194,0.12968548714980035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1835064876375219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20617061888349386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,CR123xv,2020/01/13,"Can I get some views, thoughts, or advice on what happened here with the psych during my last appointment? Hey ya’ll, so basically this is what happened a few days ago.

I go into the appointment and he tells me this near the the end. 

“I believed what happened to you was drug induced psychosis but now I know you have bipolar, I know how to fix it”.

A few months after I had an episode, got hospitalized, and got discharged he diagnosed me officially as bipolar. This was almost 2 years ago and that’s basically how long I’ve been seeing him. He’s been basing his treatment plan on me being bipolar.

Shortly after this diagnosis almost 2 years ago, I approached him believing my episode was drug induced psychosis and caused by that. He said:

“No this is bipolar” ever since recently that was his view point every time I mentioned that I believed what happened to me was drug induced.

Why would he say that recently then?! To me it is extremely contradictory. 

Why would he say he knows how to “fix it”? If he did, I’m pretty sure everyone in the entire world would be lining up to his front door.",5.563186813186816,6.631740923076923,5.975439560439563,78.68384615384616,67.65384615384616,8.635164835164835,32.645604395604394,8.841846274778883,2.719018131868132,864,37,159,14,14,278,115,208,0.031,0.9279999999999999,0.04,0.4103,0,0,3,0,0,0,23.0,0,2,0,1,7,1,0,0,8,0,19,8,0,7,2,28,34,13,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,3,8,3,1,0,17,6,0,0,7,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,13,6,23,1,17,16,3,30,0,0,3,0,21,9,0,5,18,103,40,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10635194780357016,0.28942601734181944,0.0,0.21796433591988687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3678580998193328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11180315221821427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07018933728719112,0.0,0.0,0.11046486574091426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3786408790984481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09639518466986588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09844716018917683,0.09169787578564978,0.10399615978840612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056861605919046175,0.0,0.06185323237901931,0.0,0.17409000310035128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.384968440746298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17943801089323505,0.08871475523054441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963152290381765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08687076901815463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028839105561401,0.0,0.0,0.1107239527246261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2149221485247202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10352666279651553,0.17309934350445685,0.0,0.0,0.08672711492862636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09002913650418237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10257535749471612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09512626993680516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08640254493825443,0.0634623521383878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19641266373885846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2319390108072545,0.0,0.0,0.14017187606239773
bipolarreddit,spaulette,2020/01/13,"We ended because of her need to disconnect and ""take space""... My (now ex) girlfriend and I broke up. She said she could see her routine and good habits falling apart and she was feeling worried about losing her new job. She said she is currently disconnecting from everyone, not just me.
Can someone help me understand this? I truly have no concept for why someone would disconnect from everyone. For me, so much of my wellbeing is about connecting with others. It's one thing to need a day or two to focus on self care but days, weeks, etc. I don't get it. Can someone explain it to me? It would be so helpful as I move on and heal. TIA. <3",1.5766666666666684,4.168126400000002,2.8584,89.41186666666668,85.0,6.213333333333335,25.13333333333333,7.554174236665415,1.5006533333333336,500,21,99,9,15,161,87,125,0.061,0.789,0.15,0.9322,2,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,1,0,0,1,6,4,0,0,1,0,11,1,0,0,0,19,22,10,0,5,4,1,1,0,1,2,1,2,0,1,7,7,0,0,3,0,0,2,3,2,0,2,3,4,19,2,17,15,2,14,0,2,1,0,17,5,0,1,7,72,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09726954905281106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16268749663009954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273999384955787,0.0,0.0,0.20581288508238235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14132752802450682,0.0,0.17795753113526536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3049430370878609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0806810293278843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08336630332276994,0.0,0.0,0.13383583504316027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21390656522467796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583439766944439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17851279806253775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16959270196905454,0.11729888330125747,0.2366313526610335,0.0,0.15410919781822405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10812560265659522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3035663531900898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271529154442474,0.0,0.16646144750947578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4055975794014329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11997327607392125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10600812040097553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15587214953955664,0.16611314430008198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12799368936333055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439828988034459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.162046346291353,0.0,0.2267012760170638,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,cassilyn,2020/01/13,Intrusive thoughts I get intrusive thoughts and have always considered it more of an anxiety/OCD tendency than bipolar. Do others get them? How do you make them go away?,3.8290000000000006,7.105544900000004,4.248333333333335,77.9625,83.33333333333334,9.666666666666668,34.16666666666667,9.516144504307137,4.664666666666669,137,8,22,5,4,43,25,30,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,2,0,5,9,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,4,0,3,7,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,16,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3409327233263938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3849599493816621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4281397299987327,0.0,0.2328621024879631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2735015990986283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6505683696963047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,smokedmirrors_,2020/01/13,"what do you do for yourself when you are depressed? i’m in a depressive episode right now and i run a business as well as work 30-35 hours a week and have hit a depressive slump with no energy or motivation. i read tarot cards on the side and when i’m manic or hypo i can connect and read cards beautifully but when i’m depressed it’s really hard so i’m trying to nurture myself and care for myself more during this time. what do you do to take care of yourself mind, body, and spirit?",2.7898267326732658,4.210726138613861,4.4050371287128725,85.96715965346534,74.74257425742574,7.426237623762375,24.506188118811878,8.07648339933343,1.3039198019801983,384,12,81,6,8,129,65,101,0.127,0.6779999999999999,0.195,0.8136,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,3,0,2,6,8,0,0,5,0,7,1,1,1,0,12,15,15,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,4,1,0,0,1,8,4,10,14,1,12,1,4,0,0,3,4,0,2,7,51,12,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20791011023126302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3816763910978213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6448569448659695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16767274543151414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184330452386382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18899419308232726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3744528908021889,0.0,0.1199096058887701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1598471044880062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14073290200104058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10914371011056184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12708007688710604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15014113085336284,0.0,0.16829351679201954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13626620653746815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,humstu,2020/01/13,"Bipolar misdiagnosis? I had a breakdown in college sophomore year. I went to my school's counseling center because I just suddenly thought that life had no meaning and that no matter what I would do, there wasn't going to be any point. The people at my school's counseling center sent me to the hospital right away because they thought I was suicidal. After staying at the hospital for three days (including a weekend, when I only got to meet with a doctor once every day)， a group of doctors came in to observe me and later that day one of them told me that they thought I had bipolar. It's been three years and I no longer remember the details of the conversation. But they talked about how I was talking really fast and my questions towards the medications were organized. They had me seeing a psychiatrist in my school's counselling center, she said that I had bipolar and prescribed me medications. I never liked her. I always thought and still think that she was fake. The medications made me lose my sex drive (but I also didn't start having sex until sophomore year) and made me want to sleep all the time. I had thoughts that year. And I was depressed and very lost. In the summer, I started an internship and I did very well. I started to forget taking medications. At the end of the summer, I just threw all my meds away. 

I should add that; before I threw away my meds at the end of that summer, I was at a thanksgiving dinner with remote step-family members. My mom started a conversation with her husband's cousin, who was a psychiatrist; she successfully got that cousin to say that he thought bipolars were over-diagnosed. After my sophomore year, upon my school's psychiatrst's request, I met with a psychiatrist in my local hospital to ""check in."" I told him about my break down etc and he told me that my depression might be episodic. My school is ranked pretty high and it's known among the students that the school sends the students to the hospital when they ""seem to"" be very upset; every year, there are students killing themselves.

Now I've graduated from college and started a high-paying job. But I started to think whether I indeed had/have bipolar. It is true that sometime I get very excited and I can talk and think very fast (like within an hour I can come up with a project and think about many details relating to it). My friends and acquaintances have told me that sometimes I seemed very happy. I think I definitely get upset sometimes. I think sometimes I get very upset but I would ignore my emotions and try to fix them with hooking up with guys on Tinder. The way I respond to my emotions isn't normal. I also think that it's a fact that I put lots of stuff on my schedule after sophomore year (18 credits per semester + student orgs), so that I had no time to think about my existential stuff or to figure out whether I was sad or not. I realized that I also got very good at masking my thoughts and at interacting with people, including my friends, in a way that they couldn't see anything wrong with me (even negative emotions). I also don't hang out with friends that often. 

I've also been thinking recently whether I might have ASD. When I was a child, I couldn't read social cues and I would get abused by my ""best friend"" (emotionally and verbally) without realizing it. I was also very bad at reading comprehension (like the implications of metaphors in an article, the author's intention etc) until college. 

Sorry for the messy description of my situations. I think I might have bipolar, but it doesn't seem that I'm checking the boxes in a standard way. I'm high-functioning. My mood swings from time to time (probably more than I could notice) but usually within a day or even a few hours. I've been thinking about going to a doctor again to see if I have ASD or/and bipolar. But I also feel that I'm so good at masing my emotions now that honestly I myself have problem figuring out how I actually feel.",6.596069057104916,6.973358142098278,6.826039840637453,75.92716069057106,65.18857901726427,9.668100929614877,34.66162018592297,9.50193526645192,3.2075145285524567,3143,135,571,56,45,1014,298,753,0.086,0.8370000000000001,0.077,-0.3839,1,0,0,0,1,0,88.0,0,0,8,5,31,32,1,3,42,0,52,19,1,5,5,115,114,51,2,11,18,4,2,3,4,7,15,2,0,2,35,37,1,1,31,3,3,12,15,14,1,3,48,7,105,17,89,53,8,106,0,5,3,2,48,41,0,13,51,402,140,24,0.0,0.051961567625189664,0.042796618236915385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24549845755402985,0.036491269126614434,0.0,0.0,0.029823227471267682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03608931992599397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1236109896884742,0.0,0.03661749052089835,0.053467782097378416,0.0,0.0373177798711103,0.0,0.0460236162751881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05015898118224023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03777760924712836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035015028942935955,0.0,0.0,0.11313261549555405,0.0,0.07554531423822079,0.04451238487443117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13466381365683308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2466575379339947,0.07768586928138015,0.0,0.09782089657022858,0.0579322564245726,0.0,0.07390025981133001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04134303962852847,0.0,0.044349292635800994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355305275272463,0.0,0.09165070433102826,0.0,0.04984815519243935,0.07356778492951771,0.10522569102155163,0.0,0.0,0.043423816075877,0.0,0.04668496957059578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390071543208507,0.0,0.0,0.0863776194709165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04351979280655573,0.0,0.04851958633924781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03097641957924395,0.06427671087768948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04906305972087392,0.047873432511797584,0.03728435731216816,0.0,0.08299422332998123,0.0,0.04446256915993664,0.0,0.04777146991386512,0.09742709440146258,0.17671911250292166,0.0,0.13957118847703578,0.0,0.0513630033194064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03382404660811154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042969054969721296,0.0,0.049929749969084204,0.0,0.04670465053138178,0.02971760544942857,0.03335406561522455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06080773012083444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041457600055410666,0.0,0.0,0.044616785304899126,0.04728362047436846,0.04196376761213082,0.0,0.04408686622979833,0.049128169790202326,0.0,0.08773468760250726,0.0,0.028094940836625837,0.0,0.043301991674030815,0.0,0.04967970506547783,0.037452336784947006,0.041716600371127316,0.03487563465497396,0.0,0.26630449757640645,0.10484140888216023,0.11977313445215955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049295392369000414,0.04388714778684582,0.04470513481612902,0.0,0.0,0.17349674813403304,0.04909261475440679,0.18624678933278446,0.04674410213842509,0.03502303969350362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004080551190639,0.047970772588224006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0329738599854425,0.1057481109053556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3091089995582569,0.0,0.24371444404862946,0.10228992266359377,0.0,0.0,0.16762314637928644,0.0,0.029774989377990082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04830061083417673,0.32566824471123684,0.02586709593414411,0.10443130636333277,0.0,0.0,0.03943133965301687,0.040654465516132963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04227511376842077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09346101538440084,0.04794907833410599,0.0,0.19769042028920367
bipolarreddit,greygonetalc,2020/01/13,"Mood stabiliser recommendations? Hey! 

I'm seeing my doctor today to change my mood stabiliser and I'm worried about what I'm going to be put on.

I've been on lamotrigine/lamictal for 5 years with dosage between 100-200mg depending on how I'm doing.

I'm suffering with a lot of memory loss from it now and I need to try something else before i lose it completely (I'm only 28)

I cant remember all the meds i tried before it, but I had pretty bad reactions. Can anyone recommend any that have worked for them? I'm specifically hoping for something that wont cause weight gain or memory loss.",2.813551617873649,5.010292974576274,5.093636363636367,77.65020801232669,76.88135593220339,9.036671802773498,24.28659476117103,9.573946990214177,2.506650847457628,473,16,89,14,11,165,81,118,0.162,0.743,0.095,-0.711,0,0,2,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,5,3,8,0,0,2,0,8,2,0,3,1,14,19,5,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,4,1,0,1,0,0,2,2,5,0,0,2,2,8,1,15,15,2,8,0,4,1,0,2,3,0,4,3,47,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12910220289754626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13274516178843745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15851398697147953,0.0,0.0,0.3230909594374134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19502476107391306,0.20083253747535001,0.0,0.1990505554874804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19431604678413025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15859247958852907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10789420179158644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18856051708345348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21238979238451453,0.0,0.16140079631748666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21087678255571052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14076885357468044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14438689946161465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19314225043613312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908482760492612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21505919738005305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15128316627936406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29230638631455064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17995238528276938,0.0,0.0,0.25778676862877875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23118202238810365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13821059097958352,0.19279844481196484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222549905614276
bipolarreddit,plutoplanet16,2020/01/13,Idk what’s happening anymore For most of the past 3 years I’ve been depressed and have really bad anxiety but I’ve always kept it to my self and managed it. now that I think about it mostly in unhealthy ways but this past 8 months I’ve been feel really motivated for a couple days to a week then out of nowhere I’m crying and feel so shitty and feel like I’m having a mild panic attack for no reason I feel like I’m going crazy I’m not sure if I’m bipolar or it’s something else I’m finally going to a doctor at the end of the month but does anyone have any idea what’s happening I feel so lost rn,5.018798701298699,3.877816962121216,6.603679653679656,81.30409090909096,68.77272727272728,9.664069264069264,27.948051948051948,8.841846274778883,1.8572324675324672,477,12,106,7,7,166,80,132,0.264,0.64,0.096,-0.9748,0,0,1,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,2,4,8,1,1,7,0,5,2,0,2,1,24,23,12,0,1,6,0,5,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,8,5,0,1,9,0,0,2,2,5,0,0,4,5,4,3,13,19,2,17,0,2,0,0,1,3,0,4,13,54,12,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12473574878341835,0.0,0.0,0.10194281259057762,0.0,0.1146794706991592,0.0,0.14866879289532947,0.10481939770806024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1705423795833201,0.0,0.0,0.1251672032245852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16587072823316915,0.16466727365239794,0.09667847846495096,0.0,0.1291158346108387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15343753937627813,0.13118579959669718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12522918325257876,0.0,0.13277429514826447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3789908077564592,0.2141890978096518,0.0,0.1642172603203835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17039272988360002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2651269020826663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692282703063354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14647528669291754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16364266286469767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393108154702023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1758851388391612,0.0,0.0,0.2862089483113852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19207024398756475,0.1541307419503293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15638709366371936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11540676491299272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14128683748660048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09605521200604494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11899026358390205,0.12024742897714345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09653605679336803
bipolarreddit,Gday613,2020/01/14,"Depakote curbing hypomania into a mixed episode? Has anyone experienced this? 

I feel like with depakote I have depressed periods that it doesn't really help with, periods where I'm functional, and then periods where it honestly feels kind of like what my S.O has described with their BPD. One minute I'm super excited about a project, and then later that day I'll be despondent, then excited, then somebody will say something and it'll make me depressed again, etc.

The only time I've really felt a euphoric rush is when my psychiatrist raised my dosage without properly communicating to Walgreens and I missed out on a weekend of doses.  It was honestly nice walking around feeling like James Bond, until the racing thoughts and paranoia set in.

It's actually made it kind of hard to get a proper diagnosis, because usually when I'm feeling in that heightened state, it's not euphoric, and so despite Bipolar being on my chart and having been on mood stabilizers for a year, the label is still somewhat of a question mark.

Anybody experience something similar with depakote? I'm thinking about asking my psych about different meds, but I also don't want to go switching them just willy-nilly.",9.624328802039079,9.302539640186914,9.201011045029741,63.74658028887002,59.14018691588785,12.080883602378929,43.75361087510621,11.389717465364855,5.347566355140188,969,52,148,23,11,312,139,214,0.066,0.812,0.122,0.8642,1,0,2,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,2,1,13,15,0,0,10,0,14,2,0,2,0,31,32,17,0,1,4,0,6,3,0,2,2,1,0,0,12,14,0,1,8,1,0,3,4,3,0,1,5,8,12,11,25,23,2,33,0,3,0,0,6,10,0,2,21,97,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.15021474769399815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12309880807002188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10763234672865504,0.0,0.0,0.13703149575253806,0.1439049898953382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09383509408446036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19387108857049296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09927295656019827,0.0,0.2651616128857958,0.0,0.0,0.16082544990880993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716740936883507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15057435226062935,0.0,0.0,0.31132916936636457,0.21993710844584927,0.14779819134199407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08042275297810382,0.0,0.08748270732270882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13789221305463534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10317690823385872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32059153073212754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2256091790627453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456535216002039,0.10275034061188612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1709829772420107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10430783525800023,0.11707169298340188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1724382891388722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19722466975725872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12241235116671145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370076762040476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12292973809081327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09863296402946314,0.0,0.12220426095846915,0.08975858115406206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1695335839331215,0.0,0.090792671229622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14838428385401564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09912671283935397
bipolarreddit,132132JM,2020/01/14,"Idk why this happens, I try so hard to be productive I just woke up at like 5pm? No recollection of turning my alarms off, I had such important stuff to do. It’s like without caffeine in my bloodstream my body is physically unable to get out of bed, I just don’t have the motivation or any sort of energy at all. I feel completely drained. Anyone else have this happen to them? Sleeping all day without intending to?",2.5924390243902407,4.903741597560977,4.380670731707319,81.91173780487806,78.14634146341461,8.002439024390245,28.542682926829272,8.841846274778883,2.5469707317073174,329,15,64,8,8,111,62,82,0.121,0.745,0.134,0.2932,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,1,4,3,0,1,1,0,7,2,2,2,2,13,13,2,0,0,5,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,2,9,2,16,10,2,7,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,2,3,45,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545973327861407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15895970395674172,0.2329341900782681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2525207734488273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23835910059865484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466139154756381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18991135545366475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11494869827640808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11877448920643173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4020676972730586,0.0,0.20364979517137294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221312917150507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22750173494717146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2602471098509725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15434727666573622,0.2472779776566217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20513678282733314,0.0,0.0,0.4382905799263381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,nothingnewaboutblue,2020/01/14,"(Rant) The difficulty of having the label of “bipolar” It’s hard how almost no one in my life can understand what it’s truly like to have this disorder. 

I’m lucky that most of my loved ones at least try to sympathize. The reality though, is that when my mood swings happen, everyone acts shocked. As if i never talked about my symptoms to them before. It sucks. 

I’m currently being hit hard with a depressive mood. My med manager has Bipolar I so she understands to an extent. She has done a wonderful job at respecting my boundaries of what meds to take and not take. But I can’t open up to her as if she were my therapist.

I feel alone in my struggle. I’m tired of everyone just telling me “have you tried different meds?” or the most frustrating question of all for me, “are you okay? Have you been taking your meds?” Are you kidding me?! Is this just going to be the rest of my life? Just doomed to be on a cocktail of meds that numb my mind so I can make everyone else happy?!   

I’m more than my bipolar! Sometimes I’m just angry for an actual reason. Sometimes I’m in good mood simply because the day has been good. Why is EVERYTHING I do associated with my bipolar? 

I’m disappointed and upset. I’m not suicidal, but I don’t want to deal with this anymore. I’m sick of this.",1.291229035287806,3.6935935797665382,3.2934442506373287,87.23455252918289,84.0194552529183,6.968952099825575,23.25895612505032,8.104835398774808,1.5220686703340935,998,37,205,22,29,336,140,257,0.139,0.774,0.087,-0.8927,3,1,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,5,1,0,10,20,2,2,11,1,24,11,0,3,2,33,47,14,1,3,11,0,3,1,0,0,10,0,0,1,12,6,1,0,6,1,0,2,6,9,0,2,4,3,32,8,34,39,7,14,1,3,0,1,16,8,1,9,5,141,44,2,0.0,0.0,0.09957706181524724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021790809844521,0.10568345306496983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011970143553778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06220309994543353,0.0,0.08682917076443221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06580784832202055,0.10519954255518556,0.08788755672361495,0.0,0.0,0.1066108755157492,0.11694755090098442,0.0,0.0,0.10442312486811267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08524196106338049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2925129559818609,0.0917076551043268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051594874036663435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05799211521217777,0.17117389572661254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902343067214724,0.10862428603679357,0.18281695551163624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10125970875771467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14414881242166727,0.04985196086379513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09209576947826004,0.0,0.06811299939397558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.566721402377424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10303207864751608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07870012441853362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13829091908417876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11430900387940415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10491489573561014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20184184084415405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066751573604576,0.0,0.11161602911938498,0.0,0.0,0.10605941993576068,0.2301658562749821,0.08201649733300034,0.08918812152089171,0.0,0.0,0.11847718668905367,0.0,0.0,0.100254528219961,0.0,0.0,0.11728084236063573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13855795527708253,0.0,0.0,0.21245605881318946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06018628379831654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09207591411615736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11065885102124216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Legal_PleaseMe_2018,2020/01/14,"Anyone have tricks to get out of bed? I have a tall lamp with an adjustable neck, so the lightbulb points directly at me. I have it plugged into a timer, so it turns on each morning. I like it. Kind of helps.


Trying to think of other things I could try, to make getting up the next day easier. Anyone have a neat trick they use?",1.070938166311301,3.2232481194029887,2.232409381663114,96.10507462686569,82.73134328358209,5.0226012793177,18.526652452025584,6.1826913282559595,-0.2686869936034117,252,6,56,2,7,80,50,67,0.04,0.795,0.166,0.8611,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,0,2,5,2,0,6,0,5,1,1,2,0,9,11,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,5,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,3,12,10,1,9,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,3,37,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3883327310176108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2217117968274884,0.0,0.0,0.1790862111108788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2901617241392653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1861288533149706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28917000431148904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13566465118048046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18535933478899289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29532503695491275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2625055377055409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844840047016245,0.17793167878465446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3770647401875338,0.302045518435413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2398338412635661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,gewbald,2020/01/14,"Why do I never feel okay? I haven't been able to do **anything** for 5 whole years. I was diagnosed 4 years ago. 2 years ago the meds started working(in the interim I was debilitated by high doses of whatever). 1 year ago my symptoms began to 'dissipate'. Today? I'm slow, anxious, panicky scared- but stable. That's what 'dissipate' means. I'm 27. A future that could've been bright, well, isn't. My life is fucked beyond belief. I had to drop out of a master's on a fully paid scholarship. I haven't felt okay even for a minute since it started. What happened to 'bipolar people are usually okay between episodes'? I'm not! I'm always fucked. 'Less fucked' is as good as it gets. My doctor says it's ok, that I don't have anything else other than some anxiety disorder, but i cannot believe in that narrative anymore. Am I a narcissist? Borderline? Is it PTSD? What's wrong with me? I'm sick of this existence. I've isolated myself for so long that I have no friends left. No job or ambition. I live in hopelessness and want to die.",0.17767379679144213,2.528903166666666,2.3228698752228176,89.41927807486631,98.21568627450979,5.8060606060606075,22.35828877005348,7.229369725052465,1.3205117647058828,802,33,159,17,33,268,127,204,0.289,0.617,0.094,-0.9932,1,0,0,0,0,2,39.0,0,0,0,1,4,14,3,1,7,4,19,10,0,0,1,14,37,7,1,1,4,0,2,0,1,0,7,1,0,0,14,3,0,0,4,0,2,0,9,6,1,0,8,4,16,8,22,29,3,24,1,1,1,3,2,7,3,2,16,92,30,3,0.12718451312324716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33822419102806817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10582770345746027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09729580441996316,0.14368229819690453,0.12613286152010494,0.0,0.0,0.2093240349551988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432933930948518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015464846308898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12908960360712685,0.13199744477691736,0.0,0.14576447078871155,0.13017873845091096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10624634075420404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08400417141219367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06430831130214949,0.0,0.12211707779338553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09826243934419496,0.3527400988755034,0.06644865875970217,0.0,0.0,0.10667633537942582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124688449215826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13437742102903252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12621100438250474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13818634564527102,0.0,0.08983418291185741,0.0,0.0,0.11230625521612507,0.11255429185085013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13854122020887205,0.1412733223838487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09809253719717484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08817372737600343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486718897446722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10114222964817264,0.12733388515407615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10520834354404413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18004370600746172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13219340721536854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12055604714605785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14007577271258598,0.0,0.07501672107720014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11435415154378376,0.0,0.11476424080818914,0.14199696688129254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390562993409127,0.0,0.32761062617324604
bipolarreddit,ILikeHornedAnimals,2020/01/14,This manic episode must be sponsored by 90s Nickelodeon Because the past two nights have been hilarious and hellridden at the same time. Two nights ago it was Barbie commercial songs on repeat until I collapsed from exhaustion at 3. Then it started up again last night with the poem from Hey Arnold that Helga’s parrot almost recited to their class. It hasn’t started back up today but I’m waiting for it. If I wasn’t so tired it would be hilarious but man. My brain is an asshole lol!,3.02225806451613,5.7384319247311835,3.770333333333333,84.5955,79.21505376344086,6.300645161290323,25.429032258064517,7.554174236665415,1.5589922580645172,391,15,70,6,10,124,74,93,0.085,0.82,0.095,0.2453,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,4,1,10,3,1,0,1,10,14,7,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,1,7,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,2,3,1,4,0,12,7,1,20,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,2,15,48,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1873604695804646,0.0,0.2116494261891816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625250335422148,0.0,0.12884487004382614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2359509129642404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17228898443238644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5950493275655757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2017698167937926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29920751558334635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12324741438106117,0.24293057590124015,0.20034732762958016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4129417077891884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15014614918862934,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,goldenpolarbear,2020/01/14,"Can sleep with sleep aide anymore Has anyone used a sleep aide and have it completely stop working? I’m not sure if I’m going into a manic phase, but my normal signs are showing up.",6.1508108108108095,5.483628000000002,6.614189189189191,80.59263513513514,66.29729729729729,8.481081081081081,29.31081081081081,7.1686216300943375,1.6687405405405409,144,4,28,1,2,47,31,37,0.094,0.9059999999999999,0.0,-0.3021,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,4,3,3,1,1,11,8,3,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,8,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,15,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2500441950224989,0.17629444224456656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2643524342835453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14329070732224042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24703286433811536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7569331813129953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2107911134461108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376285759680873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2177584833816897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.183552897301602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,JamieNicoleIM,2020/01/14,"Stability in an unstable condition Ughhh sorry just wanted to come on here to say how happy I am. I was poor at Christmas (thanks bad manic decisions from LAST YEAR that I’m still paying for) so I asked my fam not to get me anything. My sis heard this and donated to NAMI on my behalf. A few years ago I did a NAMI fundraiser and she was the only person that donated and did the full amount to reach my goal. The rest of my family makes lots of jokes about it, sometimes outright saying limiting things about the condition. It’s hard because when you’re inpatient they believe you and then outside of the hospital they think that you’re fine and should be fine, my mom even thinks my meds are “bad” for me and tries to pressure me into getting off of them. As though prayer and a good diet would stop my mood. Anyways, so my family is basically my only support system because I’m not good at making friends and still try to keep the façade alive that I’m doing okay. I’m open about being bipolar but still try to fake it when I can or when I can’t then just avoiding everyone altogether. Point is, my sister is the ONLY stable person I have in my life. She has never made me feel like there is something wrong or conversely that there’s nothing wrong with me. She is just there for me at whatever capacity I let her in for. I try not to lean on her much because she suffers with intense anxiety and internalizes others’ issues and takes them upon herself. I try to restrict that and call the crisis line a lot instead. But I guess what I’m saying is, I’m so incredibly grateful to have one person at the end of the day that I can see and can be there. And I hope whoever actually reads this that you can have someone like that too. I am hopeful that I will someday be able to have more of a support system, but for now, all I am is grateful. Sorry for the rant. Just happy to have realized that I’m truly not alone in this journey. Just started reddit and I’m finding more hope in others who are dealing with a mood disorder just like me. Some days are really hard. Realizing this though, that I do have some stability? This is a good day. A really good day.",4.300338722093919,5.261293002309472,5.545235565819862,81.01334218629717,70.47806004618937,8.452317167051579,28.05919938414165,8.745826893841286,2.071578968437259,1702,59,335,29,30,569,210,433,0.113,0.726,0.16,0.9703,0,2,1,0,0,0,34.0,0,2,4,2,31,30,0,2,20,1,40,3,0,4,2,64,71,31,0,6,15,3,3,3,1,3,2,4,0,3,25,20,1,5,7,2,4,2,6,8,0,1,6,8,49,20,48,57,12,43,0,1,1,0,29,18,0,10,24,248,74,3,0.08257496836057382,0.0,0.08058125753753086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07319772716315749,0.0,0.0,0.08552276391408753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06316962477821146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06795216311746764,0.0,0.07719644861577958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13789329884469298,0.15101080283837773,0.0,0.0,0.09303371228555568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08431827513108267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07113102355524974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21301609334351854,0.08513116652505838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09463806770097684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07313691241835199,0.0,0.0,0.05453998781908465,0.0,0.0,0.07890392094105605,0.0,0.0,0.15568866237272666,0.0,0.041752385103295264,0.05899157389605277,0.0,0.0,0.0754720251098795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06379721571931386,0.0,0.0862840256245325,0.0,0.0,0.27703986287204496,0.0,0.0,0.09096563723342174,0.0,0.0,0.1758051785902566,0.14794190454869172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460467264996943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08618681331813745,0.0,0.07339642596949239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06730962034808131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08443849977396017,0.058325142185009726,0.1210258755546435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404045703826944,0.0,0.07813443164198246,0.11023886517164158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09172217465451124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09671080493953664,0.0,0.0,0.060702102942654886,0.0,0.06368690618499984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07923290920118277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05595493561810303,0.18840595322639905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21630383192233574,0.0,0.0,0.07806003568925418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08259731431973556,0.0,0.10579927836938427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970007874706212,0.0,0.0,0.06580155876618354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06996550272601355,0.06357024489191736,0.08166875514508125,0.18487183313485892,0.05844698761664384,0.0,0.19783342919756794,0.06903637101176327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874101910758644,0.0,0.0,0.06208609962554223,0.0,0.0,0.07602393656953395,0.0,0.0,0.05485913979940154,0.1058214109887394,0.1622589743164993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2803149157677461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048704855782724564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05865888833176771,0.1805655301331736,0.0,0.10635114459505228
bipolarreddit,Pasdfg21,2020/01/14,Benefits of being bipolar and restrictions ? I read that we can get SS money but what else ?,2.768235294117648,5.621237882352943,4.383823529411767,78.77220588235295,81.94117647058823,8.105882352941178,26.14705882352941,8.841846274778883,2.803258823529412,72,3,12,2,2,24,17,17,0.0,0.8740000000000001,0.126,0.2869,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,4,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,9,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5949738128523745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3721089270514192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7124191943150809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,miss_melody,2020/01/14,"I can’t be alone Hi all, first time posting here.. I received my diagnosis as BP1 a few months ago and I’m struggling a lot these last few weeks. Mania and depression have contributed to me making some really toxic and terrible decisions throughout my life, and I guess it’s nice having some sort of validation, but I am struggling deeply with guilt and depression because of it. 


I have a 3 year old son who I love more than anything in this world. Right now, he is the only light in my day, the only reason I haven’t ended my life. I guess that’s the thing I’m having the most trouble with. I don’t have the will to live right now - but I have no choice.

I’m feeling so vulnerable and helpless. I don’t really know why I’m posting this,  but thank you for reading if you did, and to anyone who might be in my shoes - you’re not alone. ♥️",2.100172413793107,3.7824902816091983,3.785724137931037,88.58168965517244,77.2183908045977,6.938850574712642,23.09425287356321,7.793537801064563,0.9987728735632184,655,20,142,10,15,219,105,174,0.203,0.726,0.07,-0.9718,0,2,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,2,0,1,4,11,0,3,8,0,17,4,1,2,1,28,28,13,0,1,5,1,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,9,9,0,0,4,1,0,1,6,8,0,1,1,2,19,3,13,23,8,21,0,3,0,1,9,6,0,9,12,92,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311615801237766,0.0,0.0,0.3064931463383035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034602018190098,0.0,0.12176215618620592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09019777108603562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09542484609000453,0.0,0.25488317236991825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310526073683011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07481528479535934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12585850752077024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3259991034942176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08131740628980247,0.1206107963257834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20902337016224432,0.0,0.0,0.13065534295897252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12579410605841426,0.13354371632088136,0.0,0.09876743655397373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15696692618282188,0.0,0.0,0.1181038329135288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15526382703952965,0.0,0.0,0.22506730274851952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28341813329923704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14800451708027368,0.0,0.18957966407826296,0.1521321245625567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25272170772397856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30936919325904905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13622580965476666,0.0,0.0,0.09830102298507327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08627927573296043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11868817740054285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13351492500007356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09528427120398572
bipolarreddit,dialBlue,2020/01/15,"Olanzapine (Zyprexa) muscle twitching? Before anyone says anything, I plan on asking my doctor about this at the next appointment.

I've been on Zyprexa for 4 days now, 2.5mg twice a day. yesterday I  started noticing random muscle twitching in my arms and legs. Nothing super noticeable or jerking movements, but wondering if this is a common thing?

Tardia Dyskinesia is reported to set in around a year in, not 4 days. So a little concerned.

Has anyone experienced this?",5.349512195121953,8.345605597560981,5.963597560975611,70.56295731707318,72.29268292682926,8.002439024390245,33.420731707317074,8.841846274778883,3.618312195121952,377,19,53,8,8,122,64,82,0.035,0.965,0.0,-0.3845,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,2,4,2,1,0,5,0,4,5,2,0,0,8,7,5,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,1,2,4,1,10,6,0,19,0,0,0,0,2,8,0,4,9,35,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30357397225908106,0.0,0.17863787608369727,0.19324671789919445,0.20293996525303035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18471860788744107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4199948251178372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221899969881916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21757061957229987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23086643853334374,0.0,0.0,0.2082935695684032,0.4942927440116674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1726302771737239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15364993919735145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.144217928730286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2354133839020921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397920369119688
bipolarreddit,spotthedifference7,2020/01/15,Anyone free to talk? I’m bipolar 1 with psychotic features in medical school feeling rly depressed and lonely.,4.295087719298248,7.688911842105267,4.890526315789477,71.280350877193,88.47368421052633,6.743859649122808,37.91228070175438,7.793537801064563,4.423407017543863,91,6,11,2,3,29,19,19,0.24600000000000002,0.551,0.203,-0.25,0,2,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,2,3,2,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,0,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34234789212936306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4217018489521914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2475623920931029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4932322887206214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4955131903046974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3935313468626156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,DisturbedRecipient,2020/01/15,"Latuda Withdrawals Due to insurance changing at the beginning of the year, I haven't been able to refill my Latuda 80 mg until I get a prior authorization. I've been taking Latuda for 2 years. My doctor has been dragging their feet and it's been 6 days since I've taken it. Other than some nausea two days ago, I've felt fine. I'm wondering if any of you have ever stopped Latuda all at once and how long it took worse withdrawal symptoms to kick in, or if they did at all. Any advice and good vibes are welcome. I feel like I'm headed into a bad place and don't know how to prepare.",4.077210743801654,4.644758570247936,5.326931818181818,83.81039772727273,70.73553719008265,7.7028925619834725,25.042355371900825,7.645422480735847,1.1994371900826442,461,12,94,5,8,154,84,121,0.07200000000000001,0.8320000000000001,0.096,0.2023,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,2,0,3,5,0,0,4,0,10,4,2,2,3,19,21,10,0,2,3,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,5,0,1,4,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,8,2,8,4,14,13,3,19,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,5,13,54,12,1,0.19501513670798484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19056653457066816,0.17286915215159196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2652339606308312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628294933634652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20630015655270945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2515372599538375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19960625591951192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1764023559796531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09860551266879072,0.13931885263005114,0.187245113696974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10188735997698263,0.0,0.0,0.16356944424016542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20014179213069486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10717521904828307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09527454520047704,0.0,0.0,0.172582259218099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2076847559884619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20374931100382046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16131853631566245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16304138648765473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2026953970018172,0.14662711287118854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2166689924200225,0.0,0.0,0.19050145175604985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21148559697103111,0.0,0.0,0.19873708491466824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25116670843506284
bipolarreddit,ele1993,2020/01/15,"Creativity & Lithium I didn't really notice until recently but I feel like I""m not as creative as I used to be since starting lithium... Is this normal? It also blunts my emotions sometimes.",3.669000000000002,6.689136971428574,5.3539285714285745,72.26232142857145,79.28571428571428,6.928571428571428,31.607142857142854,8.07648339933343,3.1557142857142857,154,8,22,3,4,52,31,35,0.086,0.774,0.14,0.2361,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,5,6,5,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,4,1,4,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,16,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2452281806781016,0.0,0.33225553501324234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34494037898667296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550516349279152,0.21907107718337296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14981387551796693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3004522430188437,0.0,0.3491234652973494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19644807170635087,0.0,0.30278023416651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536643451562157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30328504530805905,0.0,0.21704870186822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2648474523570325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,tiago_mariz,2020/01/15,"Starting over Hey everyone, I just need some advice on how to cope with post mania feelings of guilt and remorse concerning the weird things we do when we get in a manic state. I’ve just stabilized after a manic episode and have been struggling with post mania lack of motivation and depression. Thanks to everyone in advance. Peace <3",7.35139344262295,8.670180491803283,6.800122950819674,73.4710040983607,63.754098360655725,10.034426229508195,34.92213114754098,10.125756701596842,3.7708655737704913,274,12,44,6,4,85,47,61,0.20600000000000002,0.6709999999999999,0.12300000000000001,-0.5994,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,2,0,0,2,4,5,0,2,3,0,3,0,0,2,0,15,8,5,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,7,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,1,1,3,1,11,7,2,11,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,1,3,30,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27124011646317864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2390723309218977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.530463824599246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14034872807258847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14501989789835992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2058160985595786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5316744383190875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19646686893158785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2901784902477814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2555509768892969,0.0,0.0,0.1844064830057973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Zippy_G_1,2020/01/15,"Does Creativity Return After You Stop Taking Lamotrigine? Hi there.  I just started taking Lamotrigine for depression (and anxiety) because I am what amounts to allergic to SSRIs and SNRIs. The psychopharm didn't tell me this medication has a habit of reducing creativity or I'd never have taken it. 

I started Lamo two days ago and over those two days I could feel my creativity evaporating like thoughts falling through a sieve. I woke up this morning and couldn't get into that creative place at all. It's the most scared I've ever been; this is my nightmare come true. I write for a living. It is inherent to who I am. I would rather die than be unable to create.

So...if I stop taking this, will my creativity come back? How long will it take? I can't find any reports online about what happens after people stop taking it, and the doctor didn't believe me, so he wasn't any help either. All I found was one guy who said it never came back. Please help.",3.7231521739130433,5.84881870652174,4.863478260869567,80.67663043478264,73.89130434782608,7.42608695652174,26.17391304347826,8.278499904357787,1.830082608695653,758,27,140,13,16,249,117,184,0.14800000000000002,0.7440000000000001,0.10800000000000001,-0.7587,1,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,0,0,9,4,0,1,6,0,18,3,0,1,6,32,36,8,1,4,4,0,1,1,0,3,3,1,0,1,16,9,0,3,4,0,0,4,7,2,0,3,11,2,17,2,16,19,5,26,0,1,0,0,11,5,0,2,18,96,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11180231774492548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17153882676065493,0.0,0.0964853791913375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19396487938228307,0.0,0.07688470856578944,0.0,0.0,0.14209983103375629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14425354854367686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21729126313770536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10070065336906167,0.0,0.0,0.16268054949089925,0.0,0.10863138961212633,0.0,0.1308979722971011,0.0,0.0,0.1290944148821792,0.1103729511606382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11408740083884884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06377265533835666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.115276083824018,0.0,0.0,0.13828969500353125,0.0,0.0,0.06589517477559577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12488370801421148,0.11153203587927887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16907803200238142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061618367666697114,0.0,0.11137080046448172,0.11161677107850212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12705779938699074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1945509511686173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08546565219747386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08743928447177465,0.0,0.1317739164312144,0.1384475180183364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11997388094565785,0.0,0.12627325778578433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17854403228079313,0.0,0.0,0.31633876844055725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4741520062778506,0.0,0.11023892276557476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10012926486579347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2464118505240593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08959567360902053,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,tee7073,2020/01/15,Any Bipolar Success Stories? I’m a senior in college struggling with bipolar disorder and depression has been hitting me hard. It affects my academics significantly and I’m just here wondering if there’s any people here with “successful” careers I guess while dealing with the symptoms of the disorder.,6.758235294117648,10.12128129411765,6.666431372549024,65.4349411764706,69.39215686274511,8.785882352941178,45.49411764705883,9.3871,5.696910588235295,250,18,31,6,5,79,40,51,0.222,0.652,0.125,-0.5859,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,2,4,4,0,1,3,0,2,3,0,1,0,10,7,4,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,3,2,5,5,0,3,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,3,2,22,4,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3540782201307541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683975661344901,0.22422917196385128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.596740960365828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28679221290990764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23321216383474594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804859389557973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27216232986508604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27059138742415395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28232600222344323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,aa129,2020/01/15,"Irritability is off the charts I am yelling at pedestrians for walking too slow in crosswalks and freaking out at my loved ones for asking the “wrong questions.” My boyfriend always says he’s going to put me on the people freaking out subreddit to try to get me out of the moment. 

I just need to feel like I’m not alone on this one and hoping I’m out of this part of the cycle soon.

What helps you cope?",7.143048780487808,5.629968548780488,7.083048780487808,80.7933536585366,64.73170731707316,9.663414634146342,32.69512195121951,8.07648339933343,2.17040487804878,319,10,67,3,4,102,58,82,0.12,0.7340000000000001,0.146,0.3485,0,1,0,0,1,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,3,6,0,0,5,0,2,1,0,0,0,12,11,2,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,6,0,0,2,0,0,3,1,3,0,2,0,3,7,3,19,11,1,16,0,0,0,1,7,10,0,2,4,45,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2666698269516826,0.0,0.0,0.21424253925428416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2407074169671851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301887450866368,0.18394252106106804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13452176431705848,0.0,0.14633082928021288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17258225089828502,0.0,0.0,0.2557340095775112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12579087256524152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23238418311948705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19091686799071475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.348947866403419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27882386552305666,0.0,0.17850300659829996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2588367682160759,0.2884345789193733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20475704751898696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17481083786032106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2815120587217167,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,slothfella,2020/01/15,I just have to say I am so fucking strong. And most people can't see it. But I am so strong and brave and powerful and patient and persistent. Go me.,-0.5034375000000004,1.6315005312500013,1.9112500000000023,95.60875,90.5625,5.7,20.5,7.1686216300943375,0.5341624999999994,115,4,27,2,4,39,23,32,0.0,0.628,0.3720000000000001,0.9349,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,4,3,4,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,8,7,8,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,2,4,3,1,7,1,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,1,0,20,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5404859994832337,0.0,0.0,0.3322617663665137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4053125685532117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4649255294957201,0.0,0.0,0.4658787146560103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,fedupmother2019,2020/01/15,"I’m increasingly thankful for a doctor who tries hard to protect me from unnecessary stigma I applied for a grant through my workplace, it is specifically for people who have mental illness and it will make a huge difference in my quality of life right now. 

My doctor had to write a letter stating my diagnosis, progress and effect on my life. I was relieved when I read it and it said ‘mixed anxiety and depression’. We have only actually said ‘bipolar’ in our sessions and even then very rarely. He has never officially written the diagnosis down but that is what we are treating it as. 

I honestly didn’t give a fuck who knew my diagnosis until fairly recently while dealing with medical professionals, if they ask me why I’m on my medications I just tell them to ask my doctor and that shuts them up generally. 

As my boss read it she had a hard time even saying ‘mental illness’  in regards to me and I can’t imagine how she would’ve reacted had my actual disorder been written in ink. At my last session I thanked my Dr. and he responded that I don’t need my life to be made any more difficult. I wish I could hug him, he is my favorite person and I’m so immensely thankful that he seems to understand this struggle and actively tries to lessen the issues I have to face. Here’s to good fucking doctors, they make so much difference in an unstable world.",6.831839080459773,6.919308199233723,7.743126436781613,70.53951724137933,64.70881226053639,11.2511877394636,37.32337164750958,10.93419730881044,4.251099923371648,1084,52,195,28,15,366,156,261,0.08800000000000001,0.759,0.153,0.9606,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,3,0,4,2,9,13,2,1,9,0,19,17,1,7,1,33,42,21,0,4,3,0,2,0,0,1,13,3,0,1,15,13,0,1,5,2,0,1,4,5,0,0,12,5,38,8,29,27,3,25,0,1,0,3,29,14,2,2,9,136,53,10,0.0,0.0,0.20499401929602173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07142600887143526,0.0,0.08034992054247808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19638326281712634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08386026530231197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082843611940571,0.09046472737018564,0.0,0.0,0.21947415874942885,0.12037686224614058,0.4300227066607027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13874654798211547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942025426876284,0.0,0.10075717795158157,0.0,0.08809665660918181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18817778825069686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10962711312970072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08561587417530685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22256363988142824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09938471846409357,0.14022062167273716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21161929756842168,0.2116970225462292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07721130472641285,0.07788060279828111,0.0810078874067657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07988229271384747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07281662380852211,0.09171072209158736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2101227501639988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037073685079824,0.0,0.0,0.08969756683896217,0.19982077869103315,0.08352641888484448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09561805444186684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10980324618800616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09180342927747497,0.29010069083687523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06124555877350282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426209592847136,0.0,0.0,0.109343006878214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08666318507128512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09477590205486593,0.0,0.12078271089042085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07461239532632659,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,shhhbpd,2020/01/15,"Positive and negative experiences working consistent night shifts with bipolar? Hi all, I was diagnosed bp1 last month and have been trying to educate myself on how to manage it.

I see circadian rhythms are really important and have read sources that are flat out discouraging of bp patients working nights.

Does anyone have anecdotal experience with this?

I have been out of work for 2 years due to being unwell but the industry I hope to return to does business with nightlife. 

Thank you so much in advance!",7.8961048689138575,9.555764921348317,7.696123595505616,66.3050093632959,62.70786516853932,11.776029962546813,38.428838951310865,11.538034831475384,5.177155805243446,414,21,63,13,6,132,69,89,0.046,0.831,0.124,0.8073,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,4,2,3,0,0,1,0,10,2,0,1,1,13,13,6,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,8,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,3,1,6,2,15,9,2,13,0,1,1,0,2,4,0,1,8,44,9,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448562520545935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2102705343275464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3625871483308721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4052989084965467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20576395721086366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16886906854905004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1653590297365173,0.0,0.15229186451928758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3888251127131582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20722344683711252,0.0,0.13271673127115524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16508558331569526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19073189374028632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14065305518382426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4524609695860887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13340900330456076
bipolarreddit,logical_problem,2020/01/15,"Abilify is tearing up my stomach. I just started on 150mg if Wellbutrin XR and 5mg of Abilify yesterday (on a full stomach). I’ve taken Wellbutrin SR so I’m assuming it’s the Abilify that is causing terrible sulfur burps, nausea, and an upset tummy. Is there anything I can do to at least get rid of the sulfur taste? If not, if you had these symptoms how long did they last?",1.6022368421052633,3.9078513289473698,4.1071052631578935,82.53723684210526,81.76315789473685,6.957894736842108,29.23684210526316,8.07648339933343,2.434452631578948,295,15,55,6,8,103,59,76,0.084,0.9159999999999999,0.0,-0.7236,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,1,0,4,2,0,1,4,0,7,5,2,2,0,10,11,7,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,1,5,0,7,8,2,9,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,4,4,38,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3667605225646803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4578409429964472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328518539750728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3632925046082408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3944169230728855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3154579153507681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4632370393613992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,CleverlyCoathanger,2020/01/15,"Hospitals I got thrown in at least 4 psych hospitals because of my mom snitching.  I didn’t want to be on medication, but my mom wanted to force me on it.  One time, my mom got paramedics to “arrest” me at my therapist’s office.  I didn’t know paramedics did that.

Going to the hospitals was horrible.  I just felt horrible being around so many suffering people.  I got bullied in one of the hospitals, but I had to hold it together.

After I got home, my parents didn’t want to hear me talk about it.  When we did talk about it, they said it was horrible but necessary.  

I don’t forgive her for that.  Today I am pissed to a strong degree.  I wish she were dead.

On the contrary, They’re so nice to me.  They buy me gifts and cover most of my expenses.  They support my lifestyle choices except for my lack of religion.  I honestly get the feeling it’s a coverup for the horrible life I got.

The problem is, I don’t know if these feelings are justified.  Wanting my mom dead isn’t exactly morally correct.",2.003181818181819,4.284542601010102,3.825545454545456,85.2683181818182,80.06060606060606,7.596363636363637,28.081818181818186,8.548686976883017,2.3542193939393945,777,36,154,18,20,261,107,198,0.237,0.633,0.13,-0.9867,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,1,0,3,1,7,8,1,0,8,0,17,3,1,0,2,26,37,8,2,8,6,5,3,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,9,3,0,1,6,0,2,1,6,3,0,2,16,5,33,5,27,19,3,13,1,1,0,0,16,8,1,2,4,108,42,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10925747514836624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07481627054915692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124113944747542,0.0,0.11784193939386604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0641223894303557,0.0,0.06975140765071612,0.0,0.4907998461486212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383278515461261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12311017416988587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349005634192546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08668922094670348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12443095535632935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1236395490292251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5749688057848759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16633272016619233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13627932978209195,0.0,0.0,0.08508689550493867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174379212219115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11674621004750267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13927478659464854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19729461905733955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14250127824830286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07156599945097594,0.0,0.11633555812223426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.289561986200256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14113570999063108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,linkmademedoit,2020/01/15,What do you eat to hit your 350 calories with your Latuda when you take it before bed? I know I'm supposed to eat 350 calories with it but I take mine before bed and really struggle to find snacks to get that many calories in that don't make me feel like crap and keep me up.,5.726553672316384,4.320650694915258,5.880000000000003,87.93435028248587,67.47457627118644,8.544632768361582,28.141242937853107,6.42735559955562,1.0691988700564976,217,5,50,1,3,69,39,59,0.109,0.838,0.052000000000000005,-0.5483,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,4,0,0,1,3,1,1,0,0,2,4,1,1,0,10,11,4,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,5,4,3,1,3,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,9,1,8,10,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,2,1,0,2,28,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4318868589967029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5193493881504889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12831602497091305,0.18129657145076364,0.0,0.0,0.2319453184445828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13258671521683435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255664581598682,0.0,0.0,0.13946784222760047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12398141432620093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1693964661076699,0.25728753698280193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16257445905861606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2653002340099472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.381613720518635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Sublimeshit,2020/01/15,"Career confusion Anyone else have a hard time figuring out what to do as a career?
 I am constantly torn between 3 things and I can never seem to follow through with any of it.
1. Something with history. Examples: teacher, museum curator, ect
2. Pastry chef. I absolutely love baking! I want to do gluten free/ sugar free and vegan friendly baked goods and open my own business with it (eventually turning it into a bakery/ event planning with a store front) 
3. Helping people/the community. Examples, becoming a lawyer, starting a shelter type thing and help the homeless clean up and get jobs and apartments and what not.   
I'm pretty sure this indecisiveness is mainly caused by my bipolar as what I want to focus on changes with my highs and lows. I'm just at a loss. I'm almost 24 with 2 kids and a stay at home husband and I feel like I need to move from basic job to career. 
Anyone have it figured out? How did you know for sure which was for you?",2.956612021857921,5.386721737704921,4.430737704918034,81.4043579234973,77.52459016393442,7.126775956284153,26.560109289617486,8.167268648758528,2.0012601092896167,750,30,136,14,18,249,123,183,0.099,0.768,0.134,0.8591,2,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,2,0,2,2,12,0,2,9,0,9,5,0,2,3,38,23,13,0,3,2,1,2,1,1,0,1,0,4,1,11,20,3,0,5,1,3,3,2,4,0,0,2,3,12,10,28,21,2,20,0,2,0,1,8,11,0,4,6,85,23,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16532200129981525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11227243907846714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.230881003660037,0.1691626187434387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18233799342410698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16960133223938714,0.17465200687992094,0.0,0.0,0.17841250456419375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13791836315168396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0834786117703583,0.11794618876999985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12755446161666284,0.0,0.08625699656767052,0.0,0.0,0.1384765391270035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14789556074262367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22132368987204104,0.17443531533706502,0.16560695827392316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32766898158751506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09073365433823724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08065864225160481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14900757351408506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17547326112097378,0.0,0.12241822511464948,0.12733391165845595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679642256978168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15029920279389022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12710066216217528,0.0,0.0,0.11685735740188108,0.17597271672457587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3112062037764453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21936781920554832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09627008949361447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17957943504953186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19475839462385414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ProsimiansOnPluto,2020/01/15,"Legitimacy of feelings of depression So I've been more depressed lately, I'm sure from the change in seasons, cold weather, short days, and let's be honest, I'm a floridian living in Wisconsin. I'm bored, I'm isolated, and I'm lonely. And how much worse could climate mismatch get? I don't like this place but I have a good job that I won't leave. 

My conundrum is whether I should be medicating away these depressed feelings. Are they legitimate? Does it even matter? It's not like I'm moving away or quitting my job, but I'm just miserable and I almost want to wallow in my own misery, but my logical brain is telling me this is silly and stupid and there's no good reason to be depressed when I have the pharmaceutical power not to be.

Can anyone relate? Thoughts? Suggestions? Commiserations? Words or wisdom?",2.2398785425101195,5.019613487179488,3.9505668016194337,81.36285425101217,84.0,6.617543859649124,24.877192982456144,7.85451343220497,1.7985051282051292,648,26,118,13,19,216,100,156,0.24600000000000002,0.636,0.11699999999999999,-0.9769,3,2,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,1,2,6,16,1,1,4,0,17,2,1,2,1,28,29,15,0,3,9,0,2,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,6,6,0,0,5,0,0,1,5,8,0,0,2,3,12,8,11,19,3,12,0,6,0,0,3,7,0,3,6,74,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15033135009408632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10497287934576267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2821001031583938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16759232444193414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15881535297461652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11986486761966365,0.0,0.0,0.096820039774497,0.0,0.5172195690717575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13137788819676227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09915802523762753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15181829777948705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07843560232229885,0.0,0.0,0.2518402259789517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2979574406232433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16935074742248846,0.1589637103111611,0.0,0.15351589221814882,0.0,0.1466897629003384,0.0,0.13256563694225673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512380088314946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15956213959622334,0.11036123945481764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15685164415829755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15967944196136946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543564276460315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414937165154577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13121835302698856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11918473889147525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08854929221690216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15299309907118366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Weenyhand,2020/01/15,"Feeling like I missed out on the better part of my life I’m 41 and am currently undergoing mental testing/diagnosis with a psych for what I assume will end up being bipolar 2. I always just thought I was a little different, creative, not like everyone else.  When I was down/depressed I just assumed it was normal. Not everyone is happy all the time. When manic I just ran with it as it allowed me to get an obscene amount of work done and generally I just felt good. I could never understand how seemingly out of nowhere my mood would change and I’d go from up to down. I’m struggling to come to terms with the idea that I’ve been this way my whole life. How is it that nobody around me noticed this until recently? My parents my friends ? It was only recently that my very close friend of over 20 years and my girlfriend of over 10 years suggested I see and talk to someone.  Maybe earlier in life it wasn’t as extreme as it is now ? Maybe i had a better handle on my mood swings ? Memory is unreliable especially in terms of viewing yourself. This has me questioning my entire life and everything I’ve ever done or experienced. Looking back I don’t think I’ve ever been truly happy. I’ve always had an overwhelmingly negative outlook on life. Other than my cat I don’t think I’ve truly felt love or loved. I want a do over on my whole life in which I would’ve gotten this addressed and sought out help sooner rather than later. I recall times where I thought to myself, “what if there’s something wrong with me mentally and I’ve just managed to live my life with what ever it is?” But this was never enough to make me seek out help. I just assumed I was being a hypochondriac. I have a full time job and a side gig so when I didn’t like what was going on in my mind I would just immerse myself in my work. It’s when the work slows down and I’m left to face what’s happening in my mind that I get really down and depressed. I recently pumped the brakes on my excessive working and faced what I had going on in my mind head on and I am so miserable. I’ve been depressed for well over a month now. I hate my full time job to the point where I can barely perform the tasks expected of me. I love my side work but right now I can barely do the bare minimum to keep my head above water with clients. I’m not suicidal but as someone who once couldn’t understand how someone with what appears to be a good life could just end it; now I understand. I just don’t want to feel this way and it feels like there’s no escape. I have enough self control and self actualization to not drown the misery out with pills and booze but I can see the allure of suicide and excessive drug use when you feel this way. I just feel like I wasted most of my life not knowing there’s something wrong with my brain.",2.762793427230047,4.514340654929583,4.024295774647886,87.28684272300472,75.54929577464789,7.1981220657276985,24.509389671361504,8.007285818006526,1.3032340375586855,2204,72,458,35,48,722,233,568,0.078,0.8079999999999999,0.114,0.9368,6,0,3,0,0,1,37.0,0,1,0,9,36,28,1,3,21,0,44,22,5,7,6,108,87,39,3,11,23,1,7,5,3,3,12,0,1,2,32,34,2,3,21,0,0,6,15,9,1,0,23,12,67,17,72,55,12,83,0,5,4,3,16,41,0,10,38,313,99,9,0.0,0.0,0.05956941584371485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10158576424121143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05434144303059886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046938498712150216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10797560510385082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06814446601191416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0645756746854988,0.05258336306774872,0.0,0.0,0.06846520633577355,0.09747615142554786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15772941032355658,0.0,0.0,0.06377721396161698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12493689682288445,0.0,0.0,0.07079080126711321,0.0,0.05099381055588394,0.0,0.10813241893985116,0.12614801026592204,0.0,0.0,0.16565136949744147,0.0,0.1166589011358681,0.054861745701007734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543265311742448,0.13082795071989936,0.1172222042929538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943237419963312,0.0,0.06378516742188607,0.0,0.10407687364205434,0.10240038006992036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05398035292940982,0.12996337003110078,0.0,0.060267581100927475,0.12529599080844447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08183202044278516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06891040995848292,0.0,0.0,0.12115203218976972,0.05425805396475444,0.0,0.0,0.033547779096525884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06632368024369838,0.0,0.38804993612937744,0.14911326630774807,0.061181382830975975,0.05390231665465832,0.0,0.05126096398660079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16528177542563358,0.0,0.04074684983968017,0.0,0.12265231822438695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12303449644276855,0.0,0.1849088723741526,0.0,0.0487241474834513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09416065011313446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0598094337672429,0.0,0.06949815572847144,0.0,0.06500907931410861,0.0,0.04642614969511827,0.0,0.0,0.06778131588292048,0.06610390160245004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05770561131517045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06838242123880782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03910587524782325,0.0,0.1808185638368799,0.0,0.0,0.05213061022510759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09728714932208132,0.05557149098081099,0.12736286575611386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15516526748143528,0.09398816719854952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06381566892171353,0.0,0.13354283671822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049064259846702304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07822811195793147,0.0,0.0969230591624494,0.14237926244632726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19064455837391087,0.0,0.05272177701524925,0.0,0.050367082196650134,0.07200979226163069,0.14535989459311388,0.0,0.0,0.05488522144582012,0.0,0.0,0.1363052388864177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2222011003143246,0.0,0.0,0.13009014076273154,0.13348244343958188,0.0,0.0786197156936531
bipolarreddit,DOMP678,2020/01/15,Please give me a reason to live. What is even the point of living ? I just want reassurance that there’s a reason to live. Going through a tough time right now as are more do you I imagine :(,0.2230769230769205,2.568470282051287,1.6725128205128217,96.96415384615385,89.76923076923076,4.1456410256410265,15.492307692307696,5.6839178017228535,-0.8439169230769235,147,3,33,1,5,47,33,39,0.111,0.7340000000000001,0.154,0.1779,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,4,0,3,0,0,2,0,5,6,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,5,6,1,5,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,23,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16289167795712167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23658254596536715,0.1401611147830128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6533159264486212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.270717184161474,0.23313775274379625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5071375199833639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106140640407571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438074241288274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14546419976154618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,chairman_momo,2020/01/16,"Cold sweats after 250mg lamitrogine and 100mg sertaline? My psychiatrist upped the dosage from 150/50 two weeks ago and since I've noticed I've been sweating much more. But today I just woke up covered in cold cold sweat, I slept under a blanket and with warming bedsheet because I get really cold during a night, and today I woke up feeling freezing cold and my pjs were soaked, that didn't happened before to that extent and I got pretty panicked. Is this normal on those meds or should I contact the doctor?",8.275360824742267,7.648290969072168,7.182185567010308,78.12338144329897,61.9896907216495,8.584742268041238,34.8639175257732,6.742157984588678,2.3461026804123697,412,15,72,2,5,125,72,97,0.049,0.877,0.07400000000000001,0.3094,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,0,5,5,4,0,0,13,12,8,0,2,3,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,7,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,7,8,8,1,10,4,3,12,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,1,6,43,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21429025586765013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14736406367228946,0.0,0.2057051732207316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474338256502055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12223233744576092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12630054678581884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19334366508064407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21377220962930704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26852156531638205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1777086485525904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2268590824653436,0.2368564508983657,0.0,0.2752255868846439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24593916308514305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15486651916017033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.199972001904446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4582874946489682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361474232497228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1939113563562263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,saltymarmot,2020/01/16,"Feeling confused Feeling confused on if I have bipolar 2 or  anxiety and depression. I’m in my early 30s I’ve struggled with anxiety since a teenager I’ve had at least 2 panic attacks. My anxiety gets better at times and worse when dealing with stress. I’ve also  struggled with reoccurring depression since I was a teenager. I had a reaction to a new medication I was put on last spring (Cymbalta). I had severe anxiety, my sleep was completely screwed up (sleeping 4 hours a night most nights), I would obsessively stay on my computer until 2am reading research articles trying to figure everything out. I became extremely attracted to someone outside of my marriage (that’s already was attracted to) and felt hypersexual (but did not act on any impulses). Sounds liked a hypomanic episode, right? But also felt nonfunctional and depressed. Well how do I know if this was just a reaction to the medication or if this was the result of bpII? I ended up getting depression that made me have suicidal thoughts a few months ago. My doctor suspects I have bpII, but everyone else in my life including therapist and husband do not. Then again I only told my doctor about feeling hypersexual. So confused...",6.407075581395347,8.360962902325582,7.432950581395353,65.70570494186049,66.48837209302326,10.95639534883721,39.94912790697674,10.9516,5.28975,964,57,146,30,16,324,127,215,0.187,0.748,0.065,-0.9571,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,1,9,19,2,8,10,0,16,9,2,3,0,37,28,20,1,4,11,1,5,1,0,1,6,1,0,0,4,9,0,0,9,1,0,2,2,14,1,0,15,6,20,5,23,12,3,30,0,4,0,1,4,12,1,9,16,100,24,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09604424253899177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11956505817931283,0.17329221429340586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07368056859001129,0.0,0.3315446530066241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12326184825661733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09582527844287532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11360114527336156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11170235364186827,0.37328097455218745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22179817992075596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09051111296261756,0.0,0.09596444626216166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10353145669739564,0.09737647781839187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16435248839778172,0.0,0.20806274445521594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11321504376565272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10670126367443478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059545399536733226,0.08831833654491457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07652961805291954,0.05293351308278794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10252179396966303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21829905402562344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08648259011844017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10464347632237173,0.0,0.2033551049743635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.082403774765355,0.0,0.12712340092331612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089199810547947,0.0,0.0,0.10837763407477664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09252886770883736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12240275411380645,0.0,0.17925368910642805,0.0,0.21685312267721546,0.0,0.09180317441006552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11548488597040253,0.0,0.0,0.12411262702334312,0.2265383643855478,0.0,0.11851546930685812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258007428985914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0860164582809618,0.0631787729056401,0.0,0.0,0.10353145669739564,0.0,0.07356139268445863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09741814593002016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11041618789394184,0.07696753323291178,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Melloph,2020/01/16,"I need a small achievement to feel like this dark day wasn't a waste of time and I'm open to suggestions. I feel like I have no energy. I just wanna cry. I need something to occupy myself with, something small. Especially if it's something I can consider an achievement, like making up my bed for example. I haven't done that for the past 3 days... 

You're free to suggest anything because I can't think of anything. Thank you in advance.",2.080919540229885,4.4550934137931035,3.506436781609196,87.1405747126437,80.3793103448276,6.625287356321839,25.75862068965517,7.793537801064563,1.607013793103448,345,14,68,6,9,113,60,87,0.063,0.726,0.21100000000000002,0.8868,0,0,3,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,3,1,5,0,0,4,0,6,0,0,1,0,12,14,2,0,4,2,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,3,0,0,3,0,1,1,4,0,0,0,2,2,11,6,12,12,0,10,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,1,7,40,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34545166000412514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279501395437386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23055997407056214,0.2707300241712103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2147956196747252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2122585960675209,0.2998982842300267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3076325145200347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401066471742869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31126919871875225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2003686775088442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4847626392735796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19324326028145825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134492341424234,0.0,0.0,0.1223915539912284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,rahman6969,2020/01/16,"How long do lithium effects last after stopping? The other day I walked into a store and got halfway to the frozen section before I realized the whole goddamn store was empty- they were going out of business; it looked like a cleaner version of Katrina or some zombie movie. Upon leaving I realized there were huge signs on the windows alluding to the fact that they were going out of business. 

Thanks to the lithium I totally ignored multiple things that I should have processed in my mind. Most people would have seen the huge red sign before even parking the car.

Fuck. lithium. I feel like an actual retard. 

I'll spend minutes looking for something that is right in front of me; the memory problems and inability to form sentences or speak coherently were bad enough but now if I can ignore such a huge literal sign taking up an entire storefront, I could easily ignore something else that would get me killed. I always wondered how some people manage to ""accidentally"" walk out in front of a car - now I know how.

My Dr is completely useless- he doesn't know the first thing about the side effects of the medications he prescribes. When I tell him my problems he acts like this is the first time he has ever heard such a complaint. Any actual knowledge he possesses likely came from medical school 50 years ago and never from actual patient accounts, which he clearly ignores or manages to forget. Like so many other psychiatrists he uses the dartboard approach to treating patients. Just start throwing medications at the problem and see if any stick. 

So please do not try to tell me that I should discuss it with my doctor or that the benefits outweigh the side effects. 

TLDR:

So what I want to know is- **how long does it take for the effects of the lithium to completely dissipate after ceasing the medication**?

And **is it possible to have permanent cognitive damage from taking it**?

​

Thanks so much everyone",4.880054143742907,7.666829028818448,5.275750589468171,75.96673216312989,72.8328530259366,7.549000087328618,31.552615492096766,8.484438967287268,2.9765915465898174,1551,73,239,29,33,493,199,347,0.139,0.758,0.10300000000000001,-0.941,1,0,2,0,0,0,41.0,0,0,2,6,18,21,2,0,27,0,23,7,0,9,5,64,47,21,1,11,9,0,1,5,0,4,6,2,1,0,18,11,0,5,12,0,4,12,3,12,0,2,9,8,23,9,38,33,10,48,0,2,5,1,15,18,1,10,23,171,41,4,0.0,0.0,0.27352066822679744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08281947050786914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0777406932848571,0.10123064816860336,0.11352687143744945,0.12707030668425798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07800959428320184,0.0,0.0,0.15900296966738892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10685827226341887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1959177656444681,0.0,0.0,0.07459572359536971,0.0,0.0,0.06025419348418205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09562888589177336,0.08176064287298601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07804822290725734,0.0,0.0,0.0965374808943909,0.0,0.06170919627892142,0.0845121847173991,0.0,0.08927573582670165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04724068028762542,0.06674593739238416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15894189353230134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0863739170369935,0.048812972700523816,0.0,0.10619609118513874,0.0,0.07472397614719095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10336571925794126,0.0,0.15403896153826227,0.07615737992640323,0.0,0.09892817830235112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2282242750708397,0.0,0.0,0.1653640473108915,0.15691422547380005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09472268393094582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3764809131464809,0.0,0.0,0.09433699718499294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06868131319458833,0.0,0.07205846483141676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295442775714372,0.0,0.0,0.10255735629351677,0.0,0.10532754003793073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2681977742971158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07978814375289074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945554775245592,0.07445108566636917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14385293713475086,0.0,0.0,0.06612976597484868,0.0,0.0,0.07811110965555844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21074170317166507,0.0,0.1633227181145299,0.17203436272217262,0.0,0.0,0.12414060072046695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054479398046767616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06343238731332553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08069294998151688,0.0,0.0,0.05510704393998807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10431051878713324,0.0,0.0,0.10132013111177922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13273904151118085,0.0,0.11352687143744945,0.060165430161753373
bipolarreddit,poopydoopy34,2020/01/16,Oopsieee So I just sent a nude and got mad when he said he wanted to fuck.. pretty embarrassed thinking about it,3.12409090909091,5.2961132272727305,3.7181818181818183,87.99727272727276,75.81818181818181,6.218181818181819,24.63636363636364,7.1686216300943375,1.0855636363636372,89,3,17,1,2,28,21,22,0.22,0.6559999999999999,0.124,-0.3612,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,4,3,2,1,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,4,6,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,3,1,1,0,2,3,0,2,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,0,1,9,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4514965797586253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39059962560192985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4968548878073685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4645582745475246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31293220140484906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2880573524164319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sheabutter1996,2020/01/16,Feeling alone.. I just wish I had friends who knew and understood what is going on. I want to be able to talk about my feelings without the fear of losing people.,2.596145833333331,4.761047156250001,3.3200000000000003,90.25833333333335,77.4375,5.5166666666666675,26.291666666666664,6.42735559955562,0.9850291666666672,127,5,25,1,3,40,29,32,0.071,0.625,0.305,0.7669,0,1,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,9,10,1,0,2,2,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,3,2,4,1,6,6,0,2,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,18,6,0,0.3122070435956106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3233523404471709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3513197227698825,0.3157225240279739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24121038741891174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17743445768952856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3492798223145721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21644505349634152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2509401954495305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1841478033182664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35902269224751765,0.3009564488918368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,greenbeanz17,2020/01/16,"I think I just quit my job..again. I literally hate my job sooo much I’ve been so unmotivated. I’m a creative person so working at a fast food place kills me. I’ve been trying out different jobs & hated them all (they were all similar)....
Anyway I just accidentally slept through two hours of my shift. Idk what to do now. I know I’m not motivated for this job and that’s why. Help!",-0.37149789029535896,1.8846167341772144,2.36231012658228,89.85165084388187,96.84810126582278,5.671308016877638,17.975738396624468,7.1686216300943375,0.3996573839662441,298,9,67,6,12,103,60,79,0.251,0.679,0.07,-0.9352,5,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,2,3,7,3,3,0,2,0,4,2,1,1,2,10,11,3,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,2,1,0,3,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,4,0,11,0,6,7,3,6,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,3,39,14,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18854583418872428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818092688058658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21042035904516748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34360876469932383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166389912435133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1713703171274481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6907345435322085,0.0,0.19252248322608864,0.0,0.09563442503573168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12792149140330208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1519437132839481,0.1818092688058658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850870148165386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11150217257604347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11814517240523388,0.0,0.1699879596136348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1570220161789901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266854321994029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,RNApolII,2020/01/17,"Sinking I quit my lithium. I feel myself sinking. I’m thinking that I would rather be dead than endure. What is the purpose of suffering? I hate myself. I’m not very likable in general. Friends and family have cut me out of their lives and said that I am a “bad” person. For not subscribing to religion, which makes me ""less good"" than my family members who go every Sunday to church; for feeling unwell and not coming out of my room, and not being entertaining; for never smiling, for being quiet and reserved during depression and therefore ""dull"" or ""rude""; for speaking out against a sexual abuser, which makes me ""a self-righteous manic-depressive"" and ""a liar""; for taking medication ""for my head"" and having my opinions therefore discounted as ""crazy""; for not taking my medication and having my opinions therefore discounted as ""crazy."" I try to do good for others, but so many – including my psychiatrist – are surprised by that. No one cares about me. I am just a number. I feel so old, so tired. I want to die in my sleep. I want to give up.",4.892711571675303,6.729089082901558,5.813492227979275,76.29968566493956,70.08808290155439,8.46272884283247,29.96511226252159,9.029198982220553,2.7599854231433505,815,33,138,16,15,268,113,193,0.158,0.741,0.1,-0.9438,0,2,0,0,1,2,43.0,0,0,1,1,6,14,4,0,6,0,12,5,2,5,1,38,30,16,2,4,9,0,3,0,1,1,3,3,1,1,8,13,0,0,4,1,2,2,7,8,0,1,1,6,26,6,30,25,1,12,1,3,0,0,7,7,0,3,3,107,34,0,0.0,0.17938156621350065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12641078975574468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15436008696840986,0.0,0.0,0.13041574810507414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2607973047674897,0.0,0.1571269524237162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275591264313074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28544863211544386,0.0,0.2296537403621629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11696951905370205,0.0,0.0,0.14523450857384093,0.08604282511040559,0.2539704840836524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14947392515830565,0.1553777604030052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13368697894154738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20211833533432927,0.15349354644795346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3050345921941207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11676727114945938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15886646122336956,0.0,0.10259102743176528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13219466766253066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16103013335338207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12929284349732462,0.14401392132072358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15794086236923582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15150707852838835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276645189367211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09700955918982004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17400943164629004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10278912805596307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12491899188879928,0.1785966203149056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10754861131525063,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,btrowb0,2020/01/17,"Mixed Episode Ramblings 
I told myself I would write today. I wouldn’t break the habit, but today has been a very-bad-no-good-day and my mood is bad and my brain has left the building.

Here I am showing up to the page. Showing up for myself. Writing one word after another because today, that is all I have to give. The small trickle of semi coherent thoughts that have exuded the madness and anger and mess that is my mind.

I will show up for myself everyday. Even when there’s not much of me to show up for. 

Here we are together. Myself, split in two, and the page supporting us. Loving us. Being here for us as we fall apart. Messily descending from madness.
Here we are.
Reflected like bugs splattered across windshield moving too fast, our words scattered, smeared, pressed hard into the paper fossilizing this undesirable moment.

I’d rather have it burned. But it has to breathe. I’m not sure why, I just know it does.

Just breathe.
Breathe.

Breathe.",2.3120757575757587,5.115017894444449,2.6786868686868672,90.43045454545457,83.94444444444444,5.717171717171718,24.84848484848485,7.1686216300943375,1.2574999999999998,751,30,142,11,22,230,115,180,0.151,0.785,0.064,-0.9509,1,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,7,0,0,0,11,10,3,0,8,0,17,6,5,0,2,28,24,9,0,3,7,0,2,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,7,9,0,0,3,4,0,2,3,5,0,2,3,2,22,4,20,17,4,21,0,0,0,1,12,10,0,0,9,98,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611578450339918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25665022444071833,0.09368827628840287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17156937887224716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991176304870219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344955549159152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10151109758080054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14743389110232097,0.0,0.128908263818566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13767646189019414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08446425599883606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16698513158711042,0.0,0.0,0.07508539424920996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13871163822126706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15518354968425627,0.0,0.0,0.16334863349625425,0.11298016999218055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10414463143075924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1744061096698814,0.14485143718675386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12201305573362435,0.0,0.0,0.4370417490013843,0.1468578182438204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15013324471978934,0.0,0.5546120903027341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13868173272375786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091772912964191,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sunshine3881,2020/01/17,Irritability and med change I recently starting coming off latuda which is being replaced by serequel. Has anyone else had this switch and been completely irritable. I just want to fight everyone and feel absolutely no emotions.,8.795855855855855,11.835141918918922,8.355135135135138,57.12747747747746,62.24324324324325,11.41981981981982,39.36036036036036,11.20814326018867,5.709295495495494,189,10,24,6,3,60,34,37,0.256,0.7070000000000001,0.037000000000000005,-0.8527,0,0,0,0,1,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,7,9,3,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,1,2,0,3,6,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,17,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2138718089655449,0.31340053712933713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3235704978645405,0.26348040574238285,0.32069946508146185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2555156063012488,0.3440632134719125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.292272430018758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15465734665245864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33975324107030536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3020102797159984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21649675826317835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804103824442915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hypercubee,2020/01/17,"Anyone else feel identity confusion related to bipolar disorder? Ok so before I took Lamictal I had a sort of fractured identity. Let me make it clear that I’m not saying I have dissociative identity disorder (DID). I’ve been doing a lot of research on DID and there are just a few things I can relate to. 

When I was hypomanic it was almost like I was a different person that was unrelated to my standard self or depressed self. In my head I imagined I looked completely different (prettier, taller, different skin tone) and even gave a separate name to myself. 

Unlike with DID I didn’t have any amnesia or disassociating. I don’t hold any trauma besides the difficulties of being bipolar. 

There are other “selves” I had at different times connected to my emotions.  Different names, ages, and genders. They looked different, dressed differently and acted differently. In my imagination I had them talk to each other. Sometimes comforting or arguing with. But it definitely felt closer to imagining than actually being another person?? I’m having trouble describing this. Other people could only sometimes see a difference on the outside. 

Now that I’m on Lamictal it feels like the different selves are one self. I guess it’s because I don’t need the coping mechanism. It’s probably also because I’m not swinging from hypomanic to depressed that I feel more like one person. Sometimes when I’m very stressed I can feel myself going back. 


So has anyone had similar issues? Does anyone know of a thread, article, or video talking about this?",5.365328467153283,8.109171328467156,6.771991240875912,66.03176788321167,71.11678832116789,10.51538686131387,34.31766423357664,10.53366545652748,4.769081343065693,1240,64,183,42,25,420,152,274,0.106,0.831,0.063,-0.9141,9,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,2,0,12,12,1,2,11,1,29,4,2,1,1,37,49,14,0,2,8,0,6,3,0,0,2,1,0,6,16,7,0,1,9,1,0,3,5,7,0,2,16,10,25,5,23,29,4,17,0,2,3,0,15,8,0,9,9,132,41,1,0.0,0.0,0.07038538786223958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07222460791062045,0.0,0.0,0.057679804975194586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09809744411339123,0.07563127677399183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15129828303780038,0.07390246740191311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05546108503386485,0.0,0.0879356999710671,0.0,0.06137462534645102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0756236156487912,0.0,0.0,0.057587409816185674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12424547692988908,0.0,0.0,0.7535719257745721,0.16532720648008514,0.0,0.06311868054931909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06025271666195388,0.08113298289374654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04763909516875135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14587798252219128,0.10305485260871668,0.06925307390014272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040991343264717726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07945584189757927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07402294269406083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07528167801528975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039639022981536313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07375457691669482,0.0,0.10571258692895474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12113675386225467,0.0,0.0,0.06131965698980499,0.0,0.0,0.04814522334170115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05348113524215794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09775002194406074,0.05485570920847079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05000366671361793,0.18893511433290028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07776492871926581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05735815522953418,0.0,0.0,0.05747575028275855,0.0,0.2257320617934915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2140058563035781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08262104735466935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11594563789391987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0479178651533367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04205773830784384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08013556908201322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05951219372708628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,grandmavera,2020/01/17,"Akathesia nightmare When I was first starting on Latuda I had horrible experiences with Akathesia, constantly pacing my house, not being able to sit still, felt like I was crawling out of my skin and mind racing. I panicked and thought there was something wrong I called my psychiatrist at the time and all she recommended was Benedryl. Now that I've been on the medication for a few years I still get this quite dten. Not to the extremes, but once I take my medication if I am not asleep after a while I get this horrific feeling of anxiety or something that makes me want to crawl out of my own skin, it's almost excruciating. Unfortunately, this has caused me to use my kolonopin to cope with these side effects while I should be saving it for real panic attacks. I find my psychiatrist is not very easy to talk to and she just chalks it up as a side effect. I am just curious if anyone is going through the same experiences and if you guys have any good coping methods for this. I appreciate it, thank you.",7.0694602272727245,7.187215927083333,7.196439393939393,74.55613636363638,64.20833333333334,10.10681818181818,34.121212121212125,9.800150414767053,3.1450666666666667,806,32,151,15,11,260,120,192,0.168,0.735,0.09699999999999999,-0.9588,0,0,3,0,0,0,15.0,0,2,0,4,7,7,1,1,7,0,15,5,3,5,1,37,27,14,0,5,11,0,4,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,11,9,0,0,6,0,0,1,4,3,0,1,8,4,26,4,24,16,4,22,0,0,0,0,7,8,0,5,13,111,37,1,0.15498612669589007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15519621818631674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10539588085394906,0.0,0.11856396270667227,0.0,0.0,0.1083699033927039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1763190936402897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1582581638442917,0.0,0.0,0.15921344501013696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16748494312803114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3032123428292601,0.0,0.0,0.0783656424694989,0.0,0.14881098669833315,0.0,0.14165451198961734,0.13183112019282456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16194770876424816,0.0,0.08808218745796563,0.12999500980553688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15346063231305898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17883318137136406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07571839285196287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10345444305650384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31226443455722075,0.0,0.0,0.15649180638454527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16505516673114135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18184282605114147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16484682336050438,0.0,0.1764081429611956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2386317845351214,0.0,0.0,0.10969997818456724,0.0,0.2475442419661585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11653027901385525,0.12457197786801995,0.0,0.14269040241875325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12304167247818927,0.0903736568417886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13385825160771764,0.0,0.12787978598437072,0.09141483307731477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1694529994121824,0.0,0.09980598417238773
bipolarreddit,books_about_books,2020/01/17,"Affording prescriptions I need your help. I live in the US and this is the first year I had to buy my own insurance, and when I signed up I checked that every single one of my medications was covered before choosing  which plan to buy. 

The information stated that covered prescriptions would be $10/month, which is what I was paying on my dad’s plan. But I just found out that some are MUCH more expensive than anything I was paying before. One is $120 for 90 days, which is 4x as much as I thought it would be, but is still within reach.

Another, though, is over $800 for a 90-day supply, and there’s no way I can afford that. 

I NEED these prescriptions. I don’t make nearly enough money to cover everything. I checked the website for the $800 one and there was a coupon, but it was only for $30 off. Still way out of reach.

Does anyone know of any possible program that could help me out? I’ve tried SO MANY medications and this combination is what works for me. 

I’m scared and so upset that I’m hiding and crying in the bathroom at work.

Help?",3.921242138364778,4.931781721698116,4.838981132075472,85.54249685534593,71.40566037735849,8.106163522012578,24.982389937106923,8.447377352677275,1.4133291823899368,823,23,173,13,15,268,119,212,0.087,0.858,0.055,-0.8608,3,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,1,1,0,5,9,2,0,2,8,0,21,2,0,1,0,27,29,16,0,5,4,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,16,10,0,0,5,0,9,0,2,2,0,4,8,0,20,0,26,16,7,21,0,0,0,0,7,12,0,1,6,122,36,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960016041890559,0.14803084754740395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09871054245402013,0.0,0.11617228921066243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2402534558576645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112714123663732,0.0,0.15507049517613164,0.1820881489795238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12354031528134407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14586811462193458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189432548625183,0.0,0.1268760306786363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12008058491478694,0.0,0.15478749404854072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2838732655203192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07758428018401071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12465720684131228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09423321303868178,0.1431259567675263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2844312928151634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11268191254051205,0.0,0.2075549014255518,0.20935406925237665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2869848139559495,0.1073674473486648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15914989225694587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14133750990995994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254798208807285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13870048889198835,0.11207456917959796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09584632473976984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16981218583191815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22411106573665449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20554937332071904,0.0,0.0,0.2005686655853444,0.0,0.0,0.09090995312705084
bipolarreddit,Invisible96,2020/01/17,"I wake up feeling good, then depression Does this happen to anybody else? At the moment I've been in a depression since like 7-8 weeks ago. I'll wake up feeling great, maybe not functioning fully still, but as the day goes on I get more and more depressed. I get fairly consistent sleep, I'm on about 7 hours a night at the moment which is about normal for me. My low phases can last for months and this one has me just about starting to feel really terrible, being negative all the time and not being very nice to people when I think I'm joking as it's not coming from a good place.

I've developed eczema lately due to a stressful period at the start of this month, which hasn't happened to me before but I understand it's not uncommon at all.

How can I stay feeling as good as I do in the morning? I genuinely feel fine but start to slip in the ensuing hours.",5.567727272727275,5.235706681818186,6.3592272727272725,80.81759090909091,67.4090909090909,9.994545454545458,28.963636363636365,9.642632912329526,2.3697086363636357,680,20,140,13,10,225,104,176,0.163,0.7170000000000001,0.12,-0.9331,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,7,14,0,1,11,0,9,3,3,1,2,23,26,13,0,1,8,0,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,4,0,0,7,1,0,1,6,6,0,1,1,5,12,8,28,23,4,36,0,4,0,0,0,13,0,0,22,88,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11920218880544532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11442660702061425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11583657072927757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08672395155362479,0.0,0.3474641584162592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11767821659369625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11233492493816886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3399679119180164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14051317044945436,0.0,0.0,0.3383686828871578,0.0,0.14825694223431196,0.0,0.0,0.2378280355344589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.264857608161904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10961343178416702,0.1516913858871045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06569670866078584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13509618923388256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21467010959031846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261937882838952,0.13175497535087374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09112237577101752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09322663703982652,0.0,0.14049564966894024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08614683846368758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11123744395330276,0.0,0.1345701011798056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2855420157019055,0.14333031129930082,0.10739030064268068,0.0,0.1540383515812531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0861648599021487,0.0,0.0,0.07841227977134631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399911212841139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11095429692814801,0.0,0.0,0.10786611840237358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Petrol_bomb676,2020/01/17,"struggling to figure out if im in a healthy place rn i feel like im going insane. its been a while since i posted and im not even sure if this is the right place for me anymore but you guys have helped my through a lot.

so a little recap i had my bipolar downgraded into cyclothymia (doctor wouldnt rule out bpd but i dont think it fits) and i was advised to keep taking anti psychotics even though they werent doing anything really for me (the main reason my diagnosis changed) but i stopped cold turkey and its been a few months nothing has really changed no real hypomania but bits of depression. 

things in my personal life are going really well a month ago i stopped self harming and ive been making healthier choices for myself. but right now i feel like im having a meltdown i want to act out and self harm and im feeling super hyposexual and i just want to hook up with anyone and out myself in situations i know arent the safest. but i cant tell if thats just my idea of fun or if thats like an actual bad choice. ive been so good and i deserve a little fun. i know this is a ramble does this even make sense? can anyone relate? im just at a loss for what to do its so hard not giving into things and im crying writing this because idk what im doing and im scared",0.1604148496030433,2.423365247232475,2.5913250587051344,91.11076708039808,88.40959409594095,5.056066197025609,18.91322822319132,6.574015621080383,0.14854637146371452,1006,29,215,12,33,344,146,271,0.193,0.68,0.127,-0.9606,2,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,1,2,12,16,0,2,14,0,22,3,0,3,1,55,37,27,0,7,16,0,4,3,0,1,3,0,0,4,14,18,0,3,9,0,0,3,7,7,1,0,6,5,27,9,24,30,4,29,0,2,0,0,11,18,0,6,10,140,41,2,0.0,0.0,0.07347228461009128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06674013793391721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07466755601008643,0.10528918809235843,0.0,0.06195734369263992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06286409525082781,0.04589615097601781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08219729789150601,0.0,0.0948252552814333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15929390215372494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08270264820892965,0.0,0.0,0.06484725963559447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07706261578039633,0.06588688081977484,0.0,0.08823944576135426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14918521862760764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11420682235061988,0.10757453629634256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0722251320344923,0.0855782067945675,0.06314977041589133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07454904394364238,0.0,0.0,0.06744514822009254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05046537229746465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08499336750843632,0.7319361276966203,0.0,0.0,0.0669213072988148,0.0,0.0,0.082754948622733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05317962982328985,0.11034883105162227,0.15092093513187266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0640089573615198,0.0,0.0,0.10051346335978902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201916916788402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07224288914334061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06574041816878373,0.1573242762064457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0721071112879018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08569662592554955,0.14469831315819146,0.07741077050080722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12859468158645565,0.0,0.0,0.07537853250247885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15708800546476007,0.0,0.0,0.062280755305398165,0.08462923584408824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12589180299306482,0.0,0.07870956804244361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07096003570127958,0.0,0.05660879119308535,0.0,0.06580687287580712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10003880445596533,0.048242861079605945,0.07397214877151086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08881611271194463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06769484900665941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,throwitawaybongybong,2020/01/17,Would anyone like to chat? It's one of those sleepless nights. I want a friend to talk to.,-0.9107017543859648,1.190129157894738,-0.07789473684210435,106.90140350877192,99.52631578947368,2.533333333333333,11.596491228070176,3.1291,-2.059224561403509,70,1,17,0,3,21,17,19,0.0,0.65,0.35,0.7184,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,4,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,10,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34270346017482045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3786656733451561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394479870966749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.45994463352346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3321181517706792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3939400748701398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28908560980602105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3481673486434406,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Dalves8,2020/01/17,"How to tell friends? So the cats out of the bag. I attend university for a cery diffocult major. I know stress can exacerbate symptoms and I thought if I pushed through I could handle it. Its turns out I can't. I've had a few depressive episodes in which I isolated myself and questioned friendships. Only 2 people know so far.  It's starting to cause people to avoid me which makes me want to drop out and just say Fuck it. How do I carefully tell my friends? Anyone attending a university with bipolar, how do you handle it?",2.0294117647058805,4.6989083137254894,3.226960784313725,87.06632352941178,83.50980392156862,6.1450980392156875,26.14705882352941,7.492282038375204,1.5982588235294115,416,18,80,7,12,134,69,102,0.168,0.721,0.111,-0.7041,0,1,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,0,7,7,1,2,5,0,6,3,0,5,0,21,15,9,0,3,2,0,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,7,7,0,1,4,0,0,3,1,4,0,0,2,1,13,3,12,12,2,10,0,1,0,1,7,5,1,2,1,54,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.151299402658909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2206159825661645,0.22228403247725492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17276350790482886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863695945366437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3343525633229956,0.2000417742407677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378358978835535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444367388622492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16456834543718246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3000242204719029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423974849123093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17207573905535972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15315637138546914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24786497627389026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2249038638356896,0.0,0.0,0.3782550036657751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717832254647604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23536160032313125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12762777492420266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,frijole_,2020/01/17,"Hypomania mixed with depression? Anybody ever feel like that? I’m sad and don’t want to get out of bed but at the same time I also want to go get a tattoo, search the city for GameCube stuff to play, go to the bar, and go gamble at the same time",4.288238993710692,3.603155433962265,5.549056603773584,86.74484276729561,70.13207547169812,8.576100628930817,25.213836477987428,7.793537801064563,1.0115081761006293,190,4,45,2,3,64,38,53,0.08,0.779,0.141,0.3421,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,5,0,1,1,0,0,1,11,10,4,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,4,1,0,1,2,1,3,1,2,0,0,0,1,1,2,10,10,2,9,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,4,26,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23826371223434736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25661657987898273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2695051468556365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506481760121333,0.2128494692108962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31132427637754506,0.0,0.5079810665062557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1455591687155257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34107173895265275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3474641726585965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3514672356297255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mrose16,2020/01/17,Anyone have mania on Amitriptyline? My psych just gave me amitriptyline because I have bad insomnia and just had a manic episode. She also increased my Latuda to 80 mg a day. I feel like since it’s an antidepressant that I’m going to get more manic on it. Should I even take it? I am also on 1800 mg Trileptal and 300 mg Hydroxyzine. Btw I had this episode on all these meds but Amitriptyline.,3.154675324675324,5.334294077922081,3.7181818181818183,87.99727272727276,75.75324675324677,5.9584415584415575,25.285714285714285,6.868970318607317,1.0229012987012984,312,11,60,3,7,98,53,77,0.032,0.917,0.052000000000000005,0.1053,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,3,0,6,1,0,0,1,8,12,5,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,3,1,9,1,6,8,3,7,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,40,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5315998223871338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23240410407352066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2775189741675184,0.20261251969476626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2143541716717033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21953034117645734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16805862474816882,0.23744853751883385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17365205183272547,0.0,0.1888961899949668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16238147955968418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3691933405292316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2749437696314372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2499043945209952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,diah98,2020/01/18,"Stopped taking meds I used to take 200mg of lamictal and 15mg of abilify. About a month ago I got busy with the holidays and forgot to take them for a while. After a while I realized I stopped taking them and felt fine so I didn’t worry about it. I’ve always hated having to depend on medicine to function so I thought it was a good thing. It’s been about a month now and I’m starting to get really bad again. I can’t get out of bed, my anxiety is so bad that I’m almost puking everyday and shaking for no reason. I’m getting so down and I can’t snap out of it. I’m a full time student and work part time and school just started up so I’m gonna be super busy and I don’t know how I’m gonna handle all this stress. I don’t wanna go back to my doctor and tell her I stopped taking my meds. I don’t know what to do.",0.17793322734499029,1.6625561351351337,2.8141176470588256,94.26941176470592,82.24324324324324,5.866454689984102,20.07154213036566,6.794906146795322,0.12879968203497638,635,17,155,7,17,222,100,185,0.182,0.755,0.064,-0.9573,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,2,2,13,8,1,2,7,0,12,1,0,4,1,30,39,18,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,8,13,0,4,6,1,0,2,7,5,0,0,7,1,18,3,24,29,3,25,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,2,17,95,26,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11940591614077582,0.0,0.13488540934690196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11208353115727078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030472831772284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10357814841825054,0.2249424444767705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13787403685880795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293358246141257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2111299802734282,0.0,0.07655471280347065,0.1129823285360206,0.10773414481911038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329911401376999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14805828638329113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2992489171319162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2150370002476144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14587001968666813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08629407121187144,0.1384969263917988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363264381034138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19068668857648974,0.0,0.0,0.33785274955271605,0.15430161707344614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5063987566766109,0.0,0.11773619574888587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0894905634411487,0.0,0.0,0.10693898699917724,0.15709258691660402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11633998091945452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09806525210018324,0.13679724513877173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,betellgeuse,2020/01/18,"Hypomania/Mixed Episode One day I'm cleaning my house, down to the crevices of every surface, all of the little dust bunnies, all of the dog hair, everything. I'm cleaning out my closet and starting a new wardrobe. I leave my house with bags and bags of clothes to give away. The whole cleaning process is hard. I have to focus on each corner of my room and stay there until it's done because my mind is racing and everything needs to be done all at once but it cant be that way. But this feels good. I feel lighter, happier, more productive. I'm making my own meals again, I'm back to the gym, I'm on the treadmill running away from all of my problems. I'm not taking on the world. I dont have a sense of euphoria. But I'm out of bed and back into society. I'm gonna start calling up my friends more. I'm gonna suddenly respond to all of the texts from people I've ignored over the past couple of months. I'm on top of things again. This is my turning point; this is the new me 
And a day later, my world will crumble. I'll be at work and triggered by stress, and just like that, I'm in a crying spell. Everything I've worked for, every behavioral exercise, breathing exercise fails. Affirmations are racing through my mind but they're doing nothing. My cries are like a sneeze. They're involuntary. I start and I cant stop for at least 2 hours. I'm lucky if I dont throw up after. And the tragic part is, yesterday I was the new me. I trusted my feelings, how foolish of me. I'm on medication. I have a life coach. But I'm far from being fixed. I'm so far, and my brain tells me I may never get there. I wonder how I'll have a healthy relationship, a family, or how I'll finish school or hold down a job. Sometimes I feel like this disease has taken everything from me. My happiness. My sanity. Sleep. Relationships. Jobs. I'm a 4 year college student and have only completed 2 years. I want to be hopeful, I really do. Please tell me theres a light at the end of the tunnel...",0.9637174927761728,3.169880770171152,2.8934179817737267,90.87444126472548,83.59657701711491,6.0653700822404994,22.98738608579684,7.348242739294969,0.9281242053789728,1541,56,333,24,44,515,204,409,0.066,0.785,0.149,0.9893,2,0,0,0,0,0,61.0,0,0,0,4,12,14,0,1,25,0,29,9,4,5,6,54,64,25,0,5,10,0,6,3,1,4,4,0,6,0,9,17,1,3,5,4,0,2,6,5,0,1,4,7,37,9,51,51,12,60,0,2,0,0,8,30,0,7,29,198,46,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17011845150625934,0.13922938293981765,0.0,0.05518839578182082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10106535374922687,0.09244485001291662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09492267718915028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10017362206441148,0.1988936494454211,0.11677326634626428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18529445474747494,0.21220923117455975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0801858302771421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15255679689197493,0.0,0.3254627740778287,0.0,0.0853469489228955,0.0,0.18310587936269626,0.06467716746302543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0699459758782417,0.0,0.047300029530787546,0.08684800549389493,0.0,0.07593522439527496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09637461950570148,0.08110025469192388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08992021675045099,0.08915728431320484,0.20892706230907998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1796811055582422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09586192965211496,0.0,0.0,0.06394650522550398,0.13269032005146605,0.09073837481679567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0604318301135988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09120300057762776,0.0,0.0,0.1828261015804966,0.0,0.07226299492439422,0.0,0.0,0.06712946072133212,0.06982503473779733,0.2623135241901877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08686935774959005,0.0,0.0,0.09641524810896936,0.0613478587252443,0.06885482441569564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980389838037273,0.08642449250989699,0.06276454614090493,0.0,0.0,0.09937862238066043,0.08558344297339472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08662835541810067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057998093563509524,0.0,0.0,0.1943982465838764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09162475939846566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09059890598732967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08953996993405651,0.0,0.1922402822707525,0.09649669045867333,0.0,0.07569007968553511,0.10370584558531536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06806994283086862,0.0,0.1582605803842562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06014645037163228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098474476494219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05339901795589415,0.0718612971713892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10107744613862096,0.0,0.0,0.09817974461528738,0.13181896709152216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11660124208550532
bipolarreddit,FluorescentClear,2020/01/18,"What does it take to get decent sleep? (Waking up and didn’t know it) The title kinda says it all: I thought I was getting 7 hours of sleep, but when I told my therapist that I practically need a crowbar to pry myself out of bed he recommended a sleep tracker to see how I’m sleeping. 

Welp, it turns out I’m getting a bit less than 5 hours a night and waking up between 4-7 times a night... and didn’t know it’s happening. I *thought* that I was sleeping way more than that. And don’t remember waking up at all. On top of that, my deep sleep is only happening between 4-7 am.

I start trazadone tonight to see if it helps. Anybody experience this, and does anyone have and tips, tricks, or advice on how to fix my sleep? I’m so tired of being tired...",3.790961538461541,4.05048591666667,5.092717948717951,86.33561538461541,71.24358974358974,8.034871794871796,28.42051282051282,7.908726449838941,1.5603712820512818,577,20,129,7,10,193,88,156,0.048,0.895,0.057,-0.1083,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,1,4,1,1,0,6,0,9,12,10,2,2,22,28,13,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,12,8,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,7,3,11,0,21,20,5,19,0,0,2,0,4,10,0,3,8,76,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10344229173462227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07401771611009286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11556849037554293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852724492706601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10354851490124757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16591783082828448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18721809322125274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07095375446959085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20849575729699385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11635254112681928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07849166704576266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19867935557542116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08050906255550777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11991541088262635,0.0,0.0,0.08418178115050251,0.0,0.0,0.16870873940774078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7415345454794683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07492617035123561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07959133338913872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12290820303307515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1680773590837176,0.061726101680707225,0.24333423146825786,0.0,0.10115095512854888,0.0,0.0,0.11514208126259826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08402440523793553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Zombiesponge,2020/01/18,"I got a job! Update: I am manic and aggressively applying to jobs I'm unqualified for [Original here](https://www.reddit.com/r/BipolarReddit/comments/dxkuqb/i_am_manic_and_aggressively_applying_to_jobs_im/)


I actually got a job from it lol! I was rejected from every single job I applied to except for this one job because my resume was full of typos and I had misaligned text. I also had questionable font choices that looked super unprofessional. 


This isn't my dream job but it's good enough! It's hard to break into my field as an entry-level person nowadays even if you have a lot of contracting and internship experience. This is a good start. Not the worst outcome from a manic episode!",5.456150121065377,8.991852338983051,5.797142857142859,68.51220338983052,76.45762711864407,8.11719128329298,27.072639225181604,8.841846274778883,2.9480707021791765,568,22,83,14,14,181,82,118,0.09300000000000001,0.7509999999999999,0.156,0.903,7,1,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,1,0,1,2,6,1,0,7,1,8,0,0,1,0,11,13,7,0,1,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,7,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,3,0,1,6,2,11,3,13,7,5,6,0,1,1,0,3,2,0,3,3,60,18,6,0.0,0.0,0.13642577360070512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11179894369951036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08522149454623047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14445197795685544,0.0,0.09233735309884132,0.0,0.11778851378211674,0.0,0.0,0.13675236823902212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2345171741266804,0.22362353057608692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12523438695788927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8323865265768299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11739777146274903,0.0,0.0,0.11885395386521708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09473288965392417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12206898768843152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15660930338261755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09895198640350973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,The_Crowley,2020/01/18,"Lamotrigine missing doses Hello, I've been taking 50mg of Lamotrigine for about a month and have run into a dilemma. My doctor's office has not been communicating very well and did not authorize a refill before the weekend, and I have run out. I won't be able to get a refill until Monday and was wondering if there might be any concerning side effects.",6.8104411764705866,7.102260926470593,8.219411764705884,66.4123529411765,64.73529411764707,10.329411764705883,31.70588235294117,10.125756701596842,3.3219588235294104,285,10,47,6,4,99,53,68,0.064,0.897,0.039,-0.1298,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,5,0,11,2,0,1,0,12,15,6,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,2,1,0,2,3,1,1,0,4,0,3,1,7,7,0,9,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,3,4,35,3,1,0.34299318712264176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332471289809505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29186193959944323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35106806088579817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17919978374984408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3638615687732152,0.0,0.0,0.2737738896154113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578881906874109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28300530052864264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3083920670490715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3719614803247138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,RaynoVox,2020/01/18,"Sweet Jesus make the racing thoughts stop. It's all the time, it goes on for hours and hours and hours. Constant panic, restless, fearful.

I'm on Hydroxyzine for anxiety but my Dr is dead set against Benzos. Idk what to do make it stop",1.3457246376811582,3.98721241304348,2.021739130434785,94.22289855072464,87.91304347826087,4.8057971014492775,22.88405797101449,6.42735559955562,0.5916492753623189,185,7,37,2,6,57,36,46,0.34,0.624,0.036000000000000004,-0.9337,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,3,2,0,2,1,0,2,1,9,6,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,1,1,6,5,1,10,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,7,19,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17703367002070708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25007998618028776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2604089017435189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6836985413396467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3089458097744644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2715184456377737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3869506006418184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837195581779745,0.1349413411853976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Pim_Jickens1811,2020/01/18,"Medication Don’t have anyone else to say anything about this to so here’s a thought that been on my mind recently. So about a year and a half ago I was diagnosed bipolar in a psychiatric hospital. The doctor put me on some terrible medication that turned me into a zombie and only helped because it numbed my brain enough to where I couldn’t think straight about anything. A couple months later I decided to stop taking it. I took the right steps, talked to my doctor, cut back on the doses over a couple weeks so I wouldn’t go crazy from quitting cold turkey, etc. the doctor then prescribed me to a new medication because I felt like it would help. Overall it has helped a ton (maybe it’s the placebo effect, don’t know, don’t really care), but recently I’ve thought noticed that I have an actual fear of not taking it every day because of what could happen if I stopped. It makes me feel like I’ll have to take it every day for the rest of my life just to survive. Idk, it’s a weird feeling.",4.874499420177814,5.549386693467337,5.619195979899498,82.04040587553155,69.0,8.535137224584462,28.87553150367221,8.617729084823388,2.047611982991884,788,27,156,12,13,257,117,199,0.10099999999999999,0.845,0.054000000000000006,-0.7738,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,3,10,8,1,1,17,0,13,12,1,2,0,25,29,8,0,5,4,0,3,2,0,2,11,1,0,0,14,3,0,2,9,0,0,4,6,5,0,1,6,5,16,3,22,19,5,27,0,0,0,0,5,9,0,2,16,101,30,3,0.0,0.0,0.10606744071367323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09634865257144673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07599977852222077,0.11136751274410284,0.1788880504742915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08357722429915544,0.0,0.19877239282005155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213359071313814,0.0,0.0,0.11081845346930944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08678149488196801,0.2405306438441969,0.0,0.14019433638925718,0.0,0.0,0.11031980885864562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3337517462770623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09079798586729272,0.0,0.0,0.11230760290761073,0.12122000025893767,0.0,0.0,0.1831549255333932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12230840420709313,0.10991559990325564,0.07764938719045929,0.10436109728513322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06177200983837745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09611572990852878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21856130836251106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05973412732016242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07677217692890627,0.1062025692863193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07255256776360053,0.0,0.10919544289129003,0.0,0.0,0.32848642183499066,0.0,0.0,0.10974765366975887,0.0,0.08675669471199825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049751414298409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12374624474711945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08266495164683801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10926520044631023,0.0,0.1156070243976379,0.0,0.0,0.0696306996745954,0.0,0.21463992361468776,0.0,0.0,0.09282213584108204,0.0,0.08643601909478349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817422912757816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2451679419910376,0.0873622881598131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06964526602887569,0.0,0.1725781709606209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1207605013031813,0.0,0.1182253808200356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08718594239190744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07721148007105666,0.0,0.0,0.06999390471731676
bipolarreddit,crispydillpickel,2020/01/18,"Rollercoaster My mood has been fluctuating more recently. More irritable,cranky, to wanting attention and excited. Then to depression and negative thoughts. I just got a new therapist and a new case worker. All over the place with thoughts. Can't keep cohesive sentence even. Tired always tired. Also found out I have fibromyalgia. Trying to do everything at once. Keep everyone else happy. Try to keep me happy. Everything is becoming too much.",4.329667359667358,7.606111135135138,4.808378378378379,70.72757796257795,93.05405405405406,10.385031185031185,31.36798336798337,9.265573868473778,5.075537629937631,360,19,51,15,13,114,59,74,0.171,0.7120000000000001,0.11599999999999999,-0.5606,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,4,5,0,0,3,0,6,2,0,0,1,15,14,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,0,3,4,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,5,0,4,3,8,9,4,8,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,4,34,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250849648391242,0.13014975380214402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17274800381438973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347199519821449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13066460520044068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10331058759150827,0.0,0.0,0.14946117081533344,0.2811513108938281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17150089985060368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250993101262779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33301320788769995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4170863359473421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149829725640586,0.0,0.0,0.3021330325727317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665767980549947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634203130190897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15444087559583528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18160979206559533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2483519690375269,0.0,0.3595519101967468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21239094335475064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09225757963429984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Remarkablehedgehog1,2020/01/18,"How would you feel if you were manic (and didn't realize) and someone told you that you're manic? Hi, everyone. I really appreciate the help and insight.

I was with my bipolar type I partner for 5 years.

Well, last year he had a severe manic episode and ended up in the psychiatric hospital for a few weeks, and then had to take extra medications for a year. During this year of recovery he transformed into a new man: calm, happy, stable, gentle. The erratic, angry, abusive, person from the past was gone. 

I took care of him for that entire year, but then broke up with him a few months ago because I lived with him in his home country and missed my own family, and also couldn't find a job there. I doubted about my decision so much and thought about going back many times. 

We didn't speak at all since the breakup until a few days ago. We talked for 5 hours on the phone. He was clearly unwell. 

He had paranoia, delusions, pressured speech, was angry... he was just clearly in a manic episode. 


Now... I realize that I can't have a ""savior complex"" and that he's not my responsibility. But I can't help caring about him and it's also so heartbreaking seeing last year's effort just disappearing. It's so sad that the gentle, fragile person that he was last year is trapped in there somewhere, while this angry monster takes control. I'm sure that deep down he's scared and hurting. 

I think that taking just lithium isn't enough and that he needs to start taking the anti-psychotic medication again that he was on last year. 


Here's my question for you guys....

Should I tell him that I think he's having a manic episode? I'm pretty sure that due to the nature of the illness, he won't listen to me or believe me. 

Any advice or anecdotes are appreciated.",4.437184750733138,5.808089046920824,5.232239296187687,81.84435894428155,70.5542521994135,7.567436950146627,27.42299120234604,7.9765259561132025,1.7118250087976543,1379,47,261,18,25,448,180,341,0.15,0.728,0.122,-0.9373,1,1,0,0,0,0,54.0,2,4,0,2,19,15,0,3,20,0,24,4,0,2,5,50,45,27,0,5,9,0,2,0,1,3,4,3,1,5,16,18,0,1,11,0,0,4,8,8,1,0,17,6,31,7,32,24,8,47,0,5,1,0,39,12,0,5,31,168,47,2,0.0,0.11423690283022568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09421635923252417,0.17093349759473628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542072877667955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06556601916427435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07413776367095855,0.0,0.05877414892545407,0.0,0.0,0.10862753839163357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1966045745735972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081384668506896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062180185250173735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08539574060191035,0.09962324775244348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09212938504449784,0.0,0.0,0.09089219237605976,0.0,0.048750702345719966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881222527158108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05479529507327791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09546675522492852,0.0,0.10263636330099517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12925089550709956,0.0,0.09671286282768336,0.0,0.0949500965153886,0.0,0.10321505910121834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09567775895244493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3143668327904696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0851368774695344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0977504418139142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19425745802031405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07695813522604174,0.0,0.07087667315281262,0.07149106013733132,0.0,0.09311893631205027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09203974715381533,0.0,0.16837303545967058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09808948421721522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10800771060320156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061766401074064024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09652898992331292,0.0,0.07683087319103685,0.0,0.0,0.10892235871092053,0.0,0.07975610829374258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08169275574140426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06824356714601447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817414147971503,0.0,0.2899705925937767,0.07749533114623734,0.08427161895868196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12355864452181865,0.0,0.07654333917364904,0.0562208016900145,0.0,0.0,0.09212938504449784,0.1071214506281732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07733890239456491,0.0,0.08668934218650551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06849098555490997,0.0,0.0,0.4967086772602912
bipolarreddit,bbqsauceonmytitties2,2020/01/19,Struggling. I can’t find the light. I am on what meds I can be on. In theory. In a woman’s group. In school. I can’t fight this fight anymore. Someone please talk to me. I’m out of options. It’s been years. I’ve done out patient inpatient everything.,-1.8693996569468248,-0.5300273396226398,0.7607890222984572,98.18982847341341,114.84905660377359,4.191423670668954,18.02572898799314,6.1124844417494595,0.024184905660377343,193,7,44,3,11,65,40,53,0.166,0.787,0.048,-0.6908,0,0,0,0,2,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,2,0,7,0,0,0,0,4,8,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,1,5,0,9,5,0,8,0,0,0,0,5,7,0,1,1,26,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31348115224706163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32347477554959275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2840856676959139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2889049647618172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3511101179259336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3469772218798678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3199048619301221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2678261391578292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3304509669431346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25406506556535274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20355471869795147
bipolarreddit,pigeonfaced,2020/01/19,"Anyone else have trouble gaining weight? So I know the more common complaint is meds causing weight gain, and I also acknowledge skinniness is privileged and my body type makes my life a lot easier. However, I’m really underweight and honestly grossed out by how I look. I feel unhealthy and am freezing all the time. If I could gain like 15 pounds I think I’d feel a lot better. 

My mental health issues came up during my last semester of college. There was a lot of sexual violence and other drama in the food coop I had been living in and eating out of for three years. The coop was no longer viable, and I was also pretty broke so I couldn’t buy enough food on my own. I was totally panicked/not functioning mentally and just trying to finish my schoolwork. I was taking a lot of adderall. In a period of maybe 12 weeks, I lost like 20 pounds. 

I assumed that I’d gain it back once I left college, but then mania and psychosis killed my appetite too. After all the hospital shit, I was really depressed and taking antipsychotics but food still made me nauseous and eating still felt like a chore. I’ve been working restaurant jobs the past year and a half, which kind of exacerbates the problem because it trains to ignore your hunger so you can work a 7 hour shift with no break while being surrounded by food. Another problem is eating is social and I’m usually on my own these days. I just don’t have much desire to eat. 

I was always somewhat skinny, and I’m almost 30 pounds lighter right now than I was at the end of high school. I want to feel healthy again and enjoy food. Does anyone have advice? Thanks",4.382271033013844,6.013490766773168,5.028518370607031,82.23924187965923,71.04472843450479,8.028168264110755,26.46019701810437,8.59863814320734,1.9300075612353569,1282,42,237,22,24,412,188,313,0.14400000000000002,0.7290000000000001,0.126,-0.8384,2,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,2,0,8,15,19,2,0,16,0,24,18,4,4,3,52,42,26,1,7,5,0,7,3,0,0,2,0,1,0,6,19,14,1,8,1,1,1,4,10,0,2,15,8,30,9,26,24,13,36,0,3,1,0,3,13,1,8,24,154,36,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08196534357885463,0.0,0.0,0.08399245171610611,0.0,0.0,0.13415561190360029,0.06979383926311943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08795418274237322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11729994434868632,0.08594369155507084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06449758110967542,0.0,0.05113170737515186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07418393790947132,0.0,0.09317038197458978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09593494427635167,0.0,0.08616658156266778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0669703564805415,0.0,0.0,0.05409485453846671,0.0,0.07224464433848274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07340285924409204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3433156058043444,0.07006993241494924,0.0,0.07429167583658926,0.0866691707999214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12723484859828918,0.0,0.08053675380208371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5071325863399064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08915918874512148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08862250448119,0.0,0.0,0.08260367251638205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08754762246174654,0.08323671652432924,0.0,0.09279940904013953,0.0873468103606976,0.046097567299645134,0.0683723762766991,0.0,0.0,0.09113450713971834,0.0,0.05924604160955034,0.12293676089460995,0.0,0.07406647284893476,0.0,0.07043702447241053,0.0,0.091563563933853,0.28524285436554275,0.0,0.0793681012129484,0.05598971685513771,0.0,0.0842674782962262,0.0,0.09317038197458978,0.0,0.16906010271588467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06166053235361076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08932813108574535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08007175781176984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08533484355401881,0.0,0.16052127107083072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10746974998620648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07163199406759907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0848897729225945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.086100331352686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08550382237370192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13397135596423848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12613276209843322,0.0,0.0,0.07722428339794148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05374611602945667,0.0,0.0,0.048910373573530334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056948165203519474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09238059266106366,0.0,0.049473859885969966,0.0,0.06728247364279079,0.2042834405050486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12212945776616865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108030329663237
bipolarreddit,cwillwin,2020/01/19,"My memory is back! 2 years ago, I had a manic episode and I began to forget recent events. My mind felt blank all the time. I kept forgetting details,, I couldn't connect thoughts inside my head, and my mind felt blank all the time. I failed a few classes too. 

Recently, my new doctor started me on adderall because he thought that the memory issues stemmed from ADHD. I can now remember details of my day and connect ideas in my head!

There are still a lot of things I don't understand. Why did I first lose my memory when I had that manic episode? And why did it continue to be a problem? Is this common? Do other people with bipolar have trouble remembering recent things and making new memories?",3.0910849598163037,5.506384514925376,4.280746268656717,82.73090126291622,76.98507462686567,7.108151549942595,27.471871412169925,8.139509932561175,2.1027745120551087,551,23,99,10,13,180,86,134,0.11599999999999999,0.884,0.0,-0.9306,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,3,6,4,0,0,7,0,13,4,2,1,2,25,22,6,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,7,6,0,1,8,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,10,2,18,0,8,10,4,22,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,1,20,69,25,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16552196939759492,0.0,0.12208732446722202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10590412453889043,0.0,0.08395754712934281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08882299325633998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14097016980081478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26448044276607297,0.0,0.0,0.11715113854337535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28269677511791297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15547784523368408,0.0,0.14375196949644528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15408210280063225,0.0,0.11709119261848333,0.0,0.0,0.09193433063235007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27813149526217545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26603660374458865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09548306788095913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13178683905772134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4079685594751954,0.0,0.31203734404470185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09748439764228738,0.0,0.10998954474396826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18300037064684505,0.0,0.0,0.21868086985861065,0.1606202962981437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433794263177414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24855571203576696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08869214387418764
bipolarreddit,ashhtreeee,2020/01/19,This Movie is the Cutest movie about being Bipolar. I felt it encouraging. I share the trailer link below! (Starring Mark Ruffalo an Zoe Saldana) It is called Infinitly Polar Bear [watch trailer here! its amazing!!](https://youtu.be/fvjS7rN8HT0),6.799613899613899,10.543495756756762,4.011969111969112,75.71324324324324,91.43243243243244,6.4386100386100376,32.31274131274132,7.447530270364453,3.396609266409266,201,10,25,4,7,55,31,37,0.0,0.746,0.254,0.8902,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,3,1,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,2,2,2,2,0,2,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,1,16,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7285166719257221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6850280714877819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,_b1birdie_,2020/01/19,"Relationships are a stressor Depression is so hard. People who don’t get it just think I can make rational decisions, give them attention, get out of bed. But I can’t. I can’t even brush my teeth Nd
Shower most days. Communication is like so hard. Returning a call or texting back. I can’t. Everything about this is hard. I just wanna talk to ppl who get that. I’m not trying to hurt anybody but I’m not well enough to deal with this. My brain is literally on survival mode every second of my current life.",1.3851650165016487,3.9121978712871295,3.347945544554456,86.0504991749175,85.13861386138616,6.931023102310232,22.278052805280527,8.07648339933343,1.4318706270627066,399,14,81,9,12,134,70,101,0.11199999999999999,0.85,0.039,-0.5957,2,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,1,8,4,0,0,2,0,10,3,2,1,0,15,18,5,0,1,7,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,6,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,6,2,1,1,0,4,9,2,10,18,2,6,0,2,0,0,8,2,0,2,5,52,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537576106454225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22322252650121344,0.20418246428061249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12895825609184905,0.20615093633197296,0.1722260541294485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20661309136780734,0.0,0.13207230695152267,0.0,0.1684757059360692,0.0,0.17971198837341998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3134139951157645,0.19182074260623455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5373771450048961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21406230892618736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14123831686948646,0.09769080891834787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13347547204476914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13862772992452874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21468320319509454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16072101939984487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281268884814227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13576034421266694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17978888845607088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,wandering-sol,2020/01/19,"New to all of this... I’ve spent the last few years dealing with what I thought was depression only to see a Psychiatrist this week, to get back on antidepressants, and have them say I have Bipolar Disorder. Definitely caught me off guard but after talking about it with them, I could see some aspects from earlier decisions during highs that would fit it. 

I’m usually introverted and sometimes social gatherings at bars are super out of my comfort zone, but then I have moments where I’m super into the vibe and get into the whole dancing (when I’m normally one of those people whose swaying side to side to avoid being totally obvious about my discomfort) and these are moments where my friends hype me up because they never see me like that and think it’s fun. Obviously this isn’t something I’d consider a problem, but rather me coming out of my shell. Although I will say I could see how this is a problem when I drink enough. 

Oh, I’m also one of those people that is quick to say yes to last-minute plans despite other responsibilities. I tend to say yes to too many things and end up feeling overwhelmed by it all because I never back out of things. I also tend to say yes to hang outs I’m not into - eg., a friend of mine has been super into raves and EDM concerts lately and when I go, I end up feeling regret for having said yes and discomfort. 

Another thing I definitely noticed and felt clicked with me is the money mishandling. Last night, for a friend’s birthday outing, I gave myself a budget of $200. I had spent $100 of that and there was absolutely no need for me to spend anymore, it was good place to stop but it’s almost like my brain was like “do it, it’s there. You already gave yourself the space to do it” despite my logic freaking out about having already spent that much in the first place. 

I’m not really sure what the point of this post was; I guess I just needed to vent and sort my thoughts about this out a little bit. 

I almost feel like I’m starting to question every choice I make?",6.945361330461836,6.23132958542714,7.188865757358223,77.27823283082081,64.7035175879397,9.892510169897106,33.273988992581955,9.107695989026183,2.7225818138310607,1597,57,310,23,21,519,204,398,0.10400000000000001,0.7509999999999999,0.146,0.9682,0,1,2,0,0,0,37.0,0,1,3,5,20,23,0,4,14,4,26,4,1,2,8,71,62,24,0,10,8,0,4,4,3,2,1,7,0,0,30,26,2,3,10,4,6,5,6,9,0,3,17,16,38,14,56,40,9,59,0,3,5,0,21,28,0,6,29,214,68,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17694664447119746,0.0,0.19500068898869935,0.14131261130201245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09264640563221643,0.0,0.0,0.08762298480357447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13587685941637434,0.0,0.1077190135691844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09645919819672934,0.0,0.0,0.0986317871507463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07610876388497684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410862478252838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09108863514772413,0.07609878706670913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10126082810532687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08655284690780361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15651004921083453,0.09129284024225258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07444168036449393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13402263572067474,0.0631197970231722,0.08483326805394939,0.0,0.0,0.07515348836333989,0.0,0.0,0.20478521122061805,0.0,0.09232217118599538,0.0,0.0502133611582559,0.07410676964910155,0.0,0.0,0.0973314014027567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09335038132702347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21605981804607965,0.0996666579404232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17266033536747624,0.08855347296900243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058976683737577425,0.08957663667322467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0649500286832736,0.13102608234746252,0.13628741618300774,0.0853324135485835,0.0,0.08291382570964026,0.08656772422145004,0.0,0.100591107456643,0.0,0.0,0.1197413103397689,0.06719685959762302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225064599475621,0.0,0.18462131881494254,0.0,0.08352266744076453,0.0,0.08461828207897923,0.0,0.0,0.16908483858906334,0.0,0.0,0.09897620175495317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05660154946569808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0840444631358299,0.3513114641440547,0.0,0.0,0.2816253752068651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09006532223649001,0.0,0.06801888285539809,0.08738392464279722,0.0,0.06253710066252813,0.0,0.0,0.07386752781265395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08327217954039375,0.0,0.0,0.07101524037275106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1760945270813879,0.056613390194373565,0.0,0.14028570624705625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09730895783877448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0708718920543825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09864358836582758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06276383016378285,0.0,0.0,0.05689679234402412
bipolarreddit,meganross50,2020/01/19,Why is life so hard sometimes? arkest place I have ever been and couldn’t take it any more.  I attempted suicide by OD.  I now have over $5000 in hospital bills and want to die even more.  How will I ever be able to pay for that? I’m already drowning in student loan debt.  I’m literally surviving on cereal because I can’t afford real food.    It’s bad enough to have this fucking disease and now it just gets worse and worse.  I fucking hate American greed.  I could have flown first class to Canada to receive treatment cheaper than in my own town.  I already called financial assistance and I don’t qualify.  I make decent money but my bills are enormous and I can’t keep my head above water right now.  I’m so lost.  Seriously contemplating attempting again....and I’ll do a much better job this time.  Rope or gun.  I feel like I want to do it in the hospital lobby.,1.886556847545222,4.246219761627909,3.641317829457368,85.97564599483206,81.03488372093022,6.84547803617571,24.671834625323,7.984000788550335,1.5982121447028423,677,26,134,13,18,226,113,172,0.17800000000000002,0.7490000000000001,0.073,-0.9434,3,0,0,1,0,2,21.0,0,0,0,6,10,9,4,0,2,0,16,6,1,2,2,20,30,11,4,4,3,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,7,6,2,1,1,0,7,1,4,7,0,1,2,2,16,2,15,24,5,18,0,1,0,2,2,10,2,1,8,80,23,5,0.1535037668954115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33879044776411665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10438782535734012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281692335010419,0.09357447152898993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13576160746769048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15674450875024162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12256026715079207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1593126749181407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15861042534635925,0.0,0.10138779030591412,0.27770589082681546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07761611681444851,0.10966312174158488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13057022570380136,0.18561736424607572,0.0,0.0,0.2838235179361238,0.08019938256851854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375092239257128,0.15155318982619922,0.1575391506725137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15232880262389867,0.13644120108869026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10842425020394217,0.07499418673033477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16756749473585775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024649563789719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11284293103791893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16037876479436666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17472089297839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13109137819834865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15181915054071807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16790820631404155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11541572892584878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08950928092130782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810809977207488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385132736395175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3128669053202344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Worth-Zucchini,2020/01/19,Skipping Abilify To Drink So I’ve been on abilify for a couple weeks at a low dose and my doctor didn’t talk to me about drinking alcohol. I read the label “do not drink” but I’m wondering if I skip one morning and drink that night if it’ll be okay? I’m only on 2mg. I don’t drink heavily just a few beers. Has anyone done this?,0.3015459882583187,1.9818110136986318,3.1867318982387483,90.78972602739726,82.69863013698631,6.911154598825831,21.38747553816047,7.957251820313856,0.927698238747554,256,8,60,5,7,91,55,73,0.025,0.932,0.044000000000000004,0.2869,0,0,7,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,4,1,8,9,0,0,0,8,11,6,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,2,7,0,1,7,0,0,3,1,0,1,3,0,5,1,7,6,1,6,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,3,2,36,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18240779852750785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11934524708164886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888570577340607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17470088026516112,0.0,0.17466756625583524,0.0,0.8360198744555598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601740639085875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11565895151205274,0.12981181354890287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17072879570683244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371882138183162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369112915739132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18509800599205875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,losthumanneedsanout,2020/01/19,"Let go. Where to put ’it’ down Constantly weighing myself down in my own mind, analysing every living moment of my life. Stuck trying to define moments that ‘are part of my illness’ or ‘was I just being a shit human being?’ 

The people I’ve hurt the regret I feel. How does anyone ever really put those feelings to rest. 
When the lows come back they are beaming to be heard, to be felt all over again. 

Then there is the other part of me who knows I had no control, because if I had I would have never acted that way. The same part of me that knows I’ve been doing my best and am valued. 

As much as I try to choose to be ‘happy’, I will always struggle to find my way out of the darkness. A huge part of me has accepted that the light will never truly win. This is my life and this is how it will always be.",3.59072945019053,4.00930281437126,4.815939031028852,87.57515514425695,71.75449101796406,6.7912901469787705,22.367446924333148,6.1124844417494595,0.35831017964071865,618,12,132,3,11,205,104,167,0.14300000000000002,0.7929999999999999,0.064,-0.9017,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,3,9,9,1,1,9,0,23,5,1,3,4,26,32,10,0,3,3,0,3,0,0,4,3,1,0,1,11,4,1,1,8,0,0,5,3,5,0,0,7,5,18,4,21,15,10,25,0,3,0,0,4,8,1,2,10,109,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2226889487112908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09356628595980172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10289517444073676,0.0,0.08157214362616944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14043017644374767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11526943690118595,0.0,0.14460605382189118,0.15008446248445725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11710206609960268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12104297487451085,0.11274457946211718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353213739824811,0.0,0.12848300957619854,0.0,0.12230412837305382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07604992605550058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424481395566512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432513065577002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14708201910781574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368345039231052,0.1890344314144623,0.0,0.0,0.11816075134727773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13511460883638746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09836913452373963,0.0,0.20641215174477226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5796327256488695,0.0,0.09277020105236906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2690412837828301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0857250650464644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13735877317437656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13989208359687685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18170267138334606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21243161613906955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950580589073132,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sodontyouworry,2020/01/19,"What do mixed episodes feel like? Can you tell me your experiences? I won't go into detail except I have had depression for a long time, and sometimes it feels like a mixed episode from what I've gathered off of descriptions on the internet. But they're usually just listing symptoms, I want to know how you guys feel in mixed episodes so I can compare it to mine.",6.749366197183098,6.631414605633804,6.29024647887324,81.57931338028173,64.91549295774648,9.916901408450704,36.059859154929576,9.516144504307137,3.158997183098592,291,13,58,5,4,90,56,71,0.054000000000000006,0.848,0.09699999999999999,0.2406,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,3,0,0,3,3,0,0,3,0,6,1,0,1,0,11,12,4,0,1,3,0,3,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,3,9,2,10,10,0,8,0,1,0,0,6,4,0,0,5,37,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2293106577250226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2604321445900646,0.0,0.0,0.4038542522393725,0.3804013895297811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513093613921868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26361777499237465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14631760698383586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26014117039363177,0.0,0.0,0.2356125175287041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2633164864621039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27672353459416216,0.0,0.0,0.23270400918677064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1552456938008417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2932238736602354,0.0,0.1570342473760962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bellaport_vz,2020/01/19,"New Identity vs Manic Identity I've been medicated for BP1 for almost 3 years. Discovering who I am now has been really hard for me. For the majority of my journey towards a balanced mind I decided that the old me was dead. Like I'd actually say that, she's dead. The guilt thing that comes with recovery is a whole other issue. But does anyone else have a hard time keeping your personality while medicated? I have all these beautiful leather journals and my absolute favorite hobby ever was writing for my entire life. But since the moment that I really lost it and the bipolar was discovered and now with the meds - I stopped. I hid from my journals because some of the content is difficult to read, I had some fucking scary thoughts. But I hadn't picked up a pen for almost three years until the other day. I actually wrote again and for the first time since this huge change I found myself connecting with... myself. That's just one example. Am I new person or the same person just with a balanced brain?
I've been telling myself that every single aspect of my life is 100% different now. I would think of it as like an AA thing...if that makes sense...like I thought that I missed those highs sometimes, feeling like you're invincible, you don't need sleep, you're a fucking God. And I told myself but nope. You can never get high again. It's all gone and she's dead. I think I'm figuring out what that thought actually meant. I definitely do not miss being manic, on the brink of life because of careless risk taking and completely alone because of irrationally destroying relationships with people. I think I just miss myself.
But I'm so afraid of myself.
Am I allowed to still be myself?",3.994451570101724,6.173175281733752,5.019764484741266,79.61974845201239,73.27244582043343,8.081777974347634,27.634785493144626,8.841846274778883,2.3287559486952683,1348,52,246,28,28,441,175,323,0.136,0.7909999999999999,0.07400000000000001,-0.9673,2,1,0,0,0,0,40.0,0,3,0,2,11,15,3,3,18,0,23,10,2,3,4,55,49,17,3,2,11,0,4,3,0,1,6,1,0,3,20,14,0,2,11,1,0,3,5,12,1,3,17,5,39,3,29,29,8,32,0,4,0,2,15,8,2,5,24,167,59,2,0.0,0.0,0.2925029445624231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2000975024822977,0.1034800607338766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06986171205246484,0.10237299711410232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827186860434563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11153630142696744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056950378819069,0.08606647283937448,0.1047572085038567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06443582172643471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10438814737137142,0.0,0.0,0.08743481413929241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08346475301569364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903773124038484,0.08418127603400455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05051917347542026,0.07137809128436004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08498621360850139,0.0,0.10954979143771654,0.0,0.18473649710275025,0.05220058264814355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17900540823449992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21112780313105103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10428354122861844,0.0,0.08880754397276294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2117151848020179,0.14643779479982588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090671845338507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06669291274691852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11098116769737153,0.20130430431601776,0.0,0.0,0.1008839647719317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0740844561255152,0.0770593070003776,0.19299380197783292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10484221551949743,0.0,0.06770384715276581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06926731147321917,0.26172135510936795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999403516804889,0.0,0.12801405438980207,0.0,0.0,0.10726950742018773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07945507729598929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652986511678319,0.0,0.0999854699190977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09881682204474476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07979090139915072,0.08353200409098267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07512237755125141,0.0,0.08732864004782769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132755932068636,0.1920612513247276,0.0,0.23796003200193885,0.11652051342207577,0.0,0.0,0.09547145294934188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11154964665694383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07097555141284599,0.0,0.0,0.128681796496529
bipolarreddit,Nimdeldun,2020/01/19,"Lamictal disturbing sleep I'm supposed to take 50 at morning and 50 at night but I have been taking 100 at mornings bc I just can't sleep if I take it at night. Soon I will be increasing it 200.
I am talking my psychiatrist tomorrow but does anyone take high dosages at morning without side effects being to bad, brain fog and fatigue especially?",3.6963184079601934,5.946582537313433,4.967985074626867,79.33366915422886,74.37313432835822,8.048756218905472,33.5547263681592,8.841846274778883,3.188335323383084,278,15,50,6,6,92,48,67,0.142,0.858,0.0,-0.8555,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,1,0,0,7,4,3,1,0,8,12,5,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,1,0,6,0,8,8,1,12,0,1,0,0,1,7,0,1,4,30,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475301863684956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761691177655608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2355363310308776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18464011324797575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2229241399073046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3960025233961209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42228781911981933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6345575013825954,0.1695870028098449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2033883095230384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Ceader_,2020/01/19,"Self destructive behavior. 
So I’ve been on vraylar for about a week or more 
And it’s Working! That’s all great but.. i always had a lot of self destructive behaviors and that’s not changed.  I have a really strong feeling just to stop taking it. I just feel like I don’t deserve to feel normal for once. I’m really trying to not give in the those thoughts but it really hard.. if anyone has a similar issue or has any tips please help. Thank you",0.8217482517482537,3.2375231428571425,2.8077922077922075,89.66675324675327,86.80219780219782,6.825574425574428,20.36063936063936,8.00094639256281,1.153914285714286,350,11,73,8,11,117,64,91,0.07200000000000001,0.731,0.19699999999999998,0.8867,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,2,4,6,2,0,5,0,6,0,0,0,1,19,14,8,0,2,9,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,6,2,0,1,4,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,3,4,5,4,9,11,3,4,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,4,3,46,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16092577076098416,0.0,0.0,0.13151983973869474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13523101862450265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20459343489308854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2933692471214496,0.13816626744858285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18552860654117734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21322614085559624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17325000335424998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296331337471146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20186120682994105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09448633867353416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16442327387875275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18949267743692308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20596657953459171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2122970726318163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3716943902058576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4035204635457287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16169254473017405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14541406643629165,0.0,0.0,0.1780583710322596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15353940699007956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13130711070716108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551352389263559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14079879636330045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,picsturb,2020/01/19,"Is Medical Marijuana a good idea? Previous to being hospitalized and diagnosed with bipolar, I thought I had run-of-the mill depression and anxiety. My psychiatrist at the time prescribed me lexapro but it still wasn't helping and I slowly kept spiraling down in my anxiety and sadness.

What had helped me unwind was marijuana. I was a casual user, but when things were crazy at work I would smoke a bowl every other night. Everyone including doctors and my family tried to blame the marijuana, but when I had my first manic episode, I hadn't smoked for weeks. What really broke me was the stress from work, a recent breakup, and moving out for the first time.

The two months coming out of the hospital, I followed my doctor's orders pretty strictly. I didn't drink or smoke, took my medication (lithium). After a while I started recognizing when I'm starting to get manic and when I'm in my depressive states. So I kind of started sneaking a beer or two when going out with friends. I felt completely fine and didn't do anything stupid. I took a few puffs of a joint that was being passed around. Didn't act like a crazy bitch. I don't know, it just felt like I was a normal adult again. I know many adults don't smoke. And all things considered, I can live without it. I was just a bit curious.

So to conclude all this rambling, I was actually in the process of registering my medical marijuana certification/card. This was before I knew I was bipolar, and it was prescribed to me to help with my anxiety and depression. Now that I know what's actually going on with me, I'm wary of combining my medication and marijuana. I mean my little experiment, proved to me that I wouldn't die. But I'm worried if it becomes a habit again, it can trigger a manic episode.

I would like some thoughts on this. I of course have discussed this with my current psychiatrist but it seems I get run-of-the-mill answers.",4.374117146905999,6.205507210958906,5.5476617855455865,77.7060273972603,71.41095890410959,9.089277279168638,30.66839867737364,9.581879112588783,3.0097699574870096,1512,66,282,37,29,502,171,365,0.153,0.765,0.08199999999999999,-0.9749,2,0,6,0,0,0,48.0,0,0,0,5,14,16,2,1,20,0,31,11,0,2,3,56,57,28,1,5,11,0,2,3,1,3,9,0,0,2,20,22,2,1,14,4,0,9,9,8,0,4,27,2,45,8,35,25,5,47,0,5,0,0,7,13,1,5,26,193,65,4,0.0,0.0,0.18641397295258366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21920173036538596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07859912518459633,0.08502688961972789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10548669088129438,0.08127459474757125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1042755438138242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08227605963422782,0.1001436453665782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2467958231034488,0.09694376392197944,0.09912749568665903,0.0,0.0,0.1955233657150913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09356645450793223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08047388789808213,0.0912668394217364,0.0,0.0934301180828308,0.09004122975822294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18341506720360526,0.0,0.0,0.1624867511880043,0.0,0.0,0.0737931673504306,0.0,0.09980328249109438,0.0,0.1085645669751095,0.08011183847584466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19206120912992986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10782263948881288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09946217308248033,0.15747446982339836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399885964903085,0.09572919662480264,0.08433979800393876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09683527000777586,0.0,0.10404174286774533,0.0,0.3848775115355778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07623762783697098,0.10151528656316552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08963255373452332,0.0935825373699088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971711381845176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06118812369975583,0.0,0.09430764202009988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08695151924781427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20281394523387505,0.0,0.07627686769547683,0.0,0.10940990846730993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12690929026522865,0.0,0.0,0.15165343048346208,0.11138888808441644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21223708870699404,0.06484711051052626,0.0,0.1866047977773473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07661483013795116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09207119907194096,0.0,0.13906931708949838,0.09699816731077436,0.0,0.1356995008152343,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MetalMisha,2020/01/19,"Ever feel like true stability is a fantasy? I spent over a week straight manic out of my gord and actually told my husband that I would rather be depressed than have to endure another moment of mania. Queue two days later I'm so depressed that the most functional things I've done was take a shower and walk far enough to the couch to take a nap. A few days of this and I'll wish I was manic instead. I've gone so long without solid periods of true stability, my mind defaults to wishing I was in the opposite extreme rather than wishing I was stable cause it's such an unlikely state to be in at all. I know I've been stable. It's the best. I know logically that's what I should be wanting and I do but I'm so used to my only options being extremely depressed or extremely manic that I barely consider stability an option at all. It's a far off fantasy that I'm always hoping will someday come true....I know it will get better. My meds are still being adjusted and figured out...I just needed to ramble. Thanks for listening.",2.56157131960336,4.6335933188405845,4.734309687261637,80.5246681922197,77.16425120772945,7.642918891431477,26.353674040172898,8.532816995589336,2.1080009661835746,815,32,154,17,19,282,117,207,0.051,0.805,0.145,0.9306,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,2,10,10,0,0,12,0,19,0,0,2,5,39,42,10,0,10,6,1,1,1,0,4,0,1,2,0,12,7,0,0,7,3,1,3,1,3,0,1,9,2,15,7,22,24,6,23,0,3,0,0,3,10,0,5,10,104,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.1408916138881357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12013364634592147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15139239789320852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15151527950370328,0.12769016657425108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483154637368758,0.0,0.12436843271583935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862230876785204,0.0,0.3730563891446079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14774830991908175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491805526662564,0.0,0.0,0.1305977150674426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0730016023656917,0.10314331528203112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07543128510586743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14339943492148874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2380382956082435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07053555400760783,0.0,0.0,0.12776954474270472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16037085559734146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14578011821468626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10705408729983984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109805595111397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11530005848521968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2171078249104787,0.0,0.0,0.13292340483048634,0.0,0.0,0.09591799605823544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13795888899238806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14103583922224036,0.0,0.0,0.1246958048105925,0.0,0.0,0.08515759055039474,0.0,0.1158109222707997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4980810013553137,0.13917475846256605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10256163403875222,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,manicaquariumcats,2020/01/19,"Little things to cheer you up and keep you going? I’m so not doing well, I know we all know what being bipolar is like and I don’t have to try to explain it on here like I do with my friends who don’t understand it well. I have some situational stuff, especially this night, but I’ve been swinging down for a while now and haven’t had a low like this in a long time. That empty, physically heavy, nothing depression. 

I’m so desperate to feel better, I wanted to ask people who can relate more to this what you all do to cheer yourself. Just little bitty things that might make things seem a little less bleak. A tiny bit of motivation, I have so much law homework to do and all I want to do is unplug from the world",2.5901126126126144,4.088040939189192,4.04972972972973,87.99504504504505,75.41891891891892,6.825225225225225,21.792792792792795,7.492282038375204,0.6336873873873872,561,14,122,7,12,186,91,148,0.07400000000000001,0.7490000000000001,0.17800000000000002,0.9428,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,1,3,0,2,8,11,0,0,6,0,18,1,0,2,3,26,32,9,0,2,3,0,1,3,1,1,1,0,1,0,15,6,0,1,7,0,0,1,4,2,2,0,2,1,12,9,17,28,8,15,0,2,0,0,9,9,0,3,8,90,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15366175768191373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14537001175238634,0.17944712826100268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14156979384605242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08310932688518878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12699019810398549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09341404063720617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14609770299377867,0.0,0.0,0.18066455054687164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409054962525529,0.4942193192218953,0.0,0.14546038053794416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10971682046828886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17436832077795714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12082928684429382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15424809862490368,0.0,0.15771539121835382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11395197576791055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14963432321973655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18475635730981935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18816187088539832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3275961005065236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958442188641207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11159498508983186,0.0,0.0,0.17111273523118875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1938968406297326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29557288533599146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Caserole,2020/01/19,"What did I experience? Hello, community. I experienced a really frightening episode tonight and its been years since it got this bad. Looking for reassurance and some insight.

​

I don't wanna blabber so I'll describe my symptoms. Doing better now but still rocking back n forth a bit.

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\*Clammy skin

\*Shivering and feeling cold

\*Goosebumps on skin

\*Shouting obscenities at myself or people in my head (not made up people. I obsessively construct scenarios in my head so I was talking to people irl but in my head)

\*Not being able to be still. I was constantly fidgeting on my couch with a blanket

\*Scraping my skin (I used to self-harm. I think I was fidgeting to help combat this. I broke my skin with my fingernails :-( It's been over 5 years since I've done this)

\*A pressure around my heart area for a week now

\*Constant wailing and crying. That's been all day :-(

​

I looked at my face after and I looked so bad... it's really scary.

​

​

Does anyone have insight? Sometimes I feel this is more than my BPII. I contacted my mother today to get help. I've been off medication for a year now.",3.4222857142857137,6.381144776190478,4.286309523809525,79.91660714285716,79.80952380952381,7.30952380952381,28.273809523809533,8.344100000000001,2.5650952380952394,913,41,154,20,24,293,126,210,0.149,0.792,0.059000000000000004,-0.9648,0,0,0,0,0,0,67.0,0,0,0,1,10,7,0,2,6,0,15,13,10,2,1,23,25,11,0,1,5,1,6,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,10,8,0,0,5,1,0,0,3,5,0,0,11,12,27,2,24,12,4,28,0,1,3,0,7,12,0,2,16,104,37,0,0.07803348262080795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4227462290880036,0.4740961128729133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05456282541731167,0.0,0.0,0.06946634359156137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0600029314159778,0.1303093970552561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06901427405440203,0.08519235252711584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16865294562103286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08571611648890043,0.05032514074147187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06828762649982878,0.07985534536757681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07633171945450316,0.0,0.0,0.0789121469137825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04076927395614999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062410504546160386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24025459748769026,0.0,0.0,0.0924700526222275,0.10460839705101853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1965854165000422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07383716802648467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07861052420172351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16229577455251307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09998049425681907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08140594084369687,0.0,0.0,0.12910020639938355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771771096229631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124635280041872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08110666692987757,0.0,0.06272035747481898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05000070480948463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07396661730889383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06739587454158608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06259375285130016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4740961128729133,0.15075301313872716
bipolarreddit,Forlornfiori,2020/01/19,"What’s your most “wow, I was on a manic delusion “roll” Mine was when I sold my car to my sister, and I was gonna move to turkey asap. With a whole 10.15 in my account.
Similar attempts to move abroad have been constant themes.",0.8072340425531905,2.944675255319152,2.3866382978723406,94.69400000000002,83.68085106382979,4.611063829787233,20.038297872340426,5.6839178017228535,-0.15566042553191473,175,5,38,1,5,57,37,47,0.0,0.905,0.095,0.624,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,0,5,0,0,0,0,3,7,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,5,0,8,1,6,1,2,7,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,2,26,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41041961920480186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8073163838578643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4240235754370824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,phantom4206669,2020/01/19,"has anyone ever experienced something like this? ive been really depressed lately and idk what's going on. today apparently I thought something happened and I felt the urge to ask if it really happened. so I asked, it didnt happen I had a small suspicion it didnt actually happen so that's why I asked. I dont think I dreamed it but I really thought it happened. or maybe I did dream it?? i have very vivid dreams and literally wake up every 3 hours. I stopped taking my meds (prozac and lamictal) for like a week (bad memory) and I slept throughout the night and didnt have any vivid dreams. then whenever I started again I had these dreams again. it was something minor. I thought one of my old coworkers who stopped showing up to work came in and tried to work but then a manager sent him home and said he didnt work there anymore. today I asked my manager what happened to him the other day and she said he never was there and never came in and hasnt for like a week. now I'm just very confused on what this is. did I dream it??? like what??? I didnt even feel like I was there when it happened. I just remembered the scenario. it was weird. idk what this is but its driving me nuts??? like what??? does anyone maybe have an similar experiences or advice or anything??",1.310184453227933,3.8151380750988153,2.8571027667984232,89.59927733860346,85.24505928853755,6.061080368906456,22.66258234519104,7.42949916751922,1.0570296179183138,995,36,203,17,30,325,123,253,0.079,0.779,0.142,0.9632,1,0,3,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,0,3,13,10,0,1,9,0,23,3,2,0,3,35,50,23,0,1,9,0,2,6,0,0,1,2,1,0,24,13,0,2,7,7,0,5,9,4,0,1,24,7,28,6,13,26,0,33,0,1,2,0,13,7,0,5,27,132,52,5,0.0,0.0,0.08455732061511331,0.0,0.0,0.08467279638643067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05892456719606441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08593292704314022,0.12117455829878625,0.0,0.07130507786550798,0.0,0.32402198999748233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07234863439339928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19820767286213595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05588169833611014,0.0,0.0746310061422173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07582747882923821,0.0,0.1015524581240249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05723111524059776,0.07837934820823908,0.07300586144230348,0.0,0.0,0.08475974547087536,0.0,0.0,0.04381254303434885,0.06190235273004315,0.08319701789265922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0492448540833915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5363664829416769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0869164188561677,0.0,0.08533221039965723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09774430378772736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2539951367036551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17410194895138711,0.0,0.09624795599851067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336587268512535,0.0,0.0,0.08131459743749228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09092397526058787,0.0,0.058715879791951676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16652948418733074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098156885341524,0.0,0.16484685462886764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001208373946096,0.0,0.0,0.06133089532123905,0.0,0.0,0.14488556610144102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06514956941859243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05552144040908631,0.0,0.2063698478284189,0.0,0.0,0.16426700986816625,0.0,0.0,0.0588292586392865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142989668689164,0.0,0.0,0.139009853247321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0781876111718875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892453979700225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Baafsk,2020/01/19,"do you feel your memory went to shit after the onset? so, I've been diagnosed for a year now, and ever since my 1st episode, I feel like I can't remember most stuff. not things in-episode, things of the past before the onset, as if my brain... got hit somehow. like, my memory is gone. stuff that I've discussed before and felt good with, now feels like I don't know shit. things I watched, I don't remember.   


it almost feels like I haven't paid attention to anything like ever. and this feeling only started after the onset of the illness.   


  
and yes, I am on lamotrigine, but... but... isn't it for short-term? my memory is trash and I feel dumb but I don't know if I should blame it",1.256084275436795,3.342650338129502,2.9684737923946583,91.46397482014393,81.58992805755395,6.273586844809866,20.000513874614594,7.447530270364453,0.5231866392600208,523,14,114,8,14,173,76,139,0.08900000000000001,0.802,0.109,-0.2954,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,2,0,0,6,9,3,0,6,1,12,5,3,0,2,30,27,12,0,3,6,0,7,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,10,6,0,0,12,0,1,2,7,3,0,0,6,8,16,6,11,19,1,12,0,0,1,0,3,1,3,5,14,73,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13396286018578804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11009078595961526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276764275249939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493444122824333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13578541922685042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2420260745952116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.405863714781029,0.28672061803173393,0.12845123185440868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11220958556169686,0.106997296813033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14704564129024345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3267944474955768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101746868770554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12770959148596325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3030967492940198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27464960041732245,0.11066544969622816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09469124319949998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30629564999844383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2666354773935973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12401680249495264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08615090792572787
bipolarreddit,MrFroogger,2020/01/20,"Heart palpitations I bet most people when their hearts starts racing, beating hard, or skipping a beat for no apparent reason will feel anxious - worried it might suddenly stop right there, taking them out of existence without an explanation for doing so. Yeah, well.",9.025151515151514,11.046604545454548,7.830000000000003,65.04833333333336,60.36363636363636,10.412121212121212,37.39393939393939,10.504223727775694,4.568630303030303,216,10,29,5,3,66,43,44,0.249,0.6509999999999999,0.1,-0.6961,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,2,2,4,1,0,0,2,1,3,2,2,1,0,9,6,3,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,2,3,1,5,4,1,6,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,4,4,21,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28351148641674523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126892074772061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2248093751706665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.594773671249172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26622713511566665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17398291108218192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2580269657200029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21431704711644148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17762960138695305,0.0,0.0,0.20981240546483235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18868943598070406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2256416823015595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24191487974125825,0.0,0.0,0.2548603712847656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,b1polarone,2020/01/20,"Has anyone taken or currently still taking Saphris? I’ve been on the antipsychotic Saphris (Asenapine) for quite awhile, currently taking 10mg at night. I had my first and only manic episode in April ‘19 and have been horribly depressed since. I often wonder if this is a medication I still need to be taking regularly as I’m no longer manic, and I’m worried it’s just worsening my depression, anxiety, and causing serious issues with my sleep.

I was curious on others experiences with it, and for those who no longer take it, how did you go through the process of coming off it with it being a sublingual tablet? Are the withdrawal symptoms as bad as I’ve read online?

Thanks!",6.7054761904761895,7.613330936507943,7.315992063492064,70.66303571428571,65.03174603174602,11.061904761904763,34.79761904761905,10.9516,4.1448285714285715,542,24,92,15,8,179,89,126,0.203,0.75,0.047,-0.9640000000000001,2,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,2,5,5,0,0,5,0,11,3,1,2,0,17,23,11,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,9,9,0,0,1,1,0,2,2,4,0,1,6,0,8,1,16,15,0,14,0,2,0,0,2,5,0,4,7,64,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13480999525845225,0.0,0.0,0.12321911168466025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471387160260391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18102940621172856,0.0,0.15180037845530436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30356095900268026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1723797584272899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14989506324176688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10015150474465552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18393086765281536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1775259783033264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13066700779636986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16537320381293122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13402541569776574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18743468899213755,0.1762705349430082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457733596929089,0.0,0.17635011257027816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28146358576320585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18316301207584212,0.5299905975710066,0.0,0.0,0.16224232080610312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19110615990714566,0.0,0.1789628547199041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,dwxnd,2020/01/20,"Latuda Experience So I started Latuda 10 days ago and a little confused. On day 6 and 7 I felt great (motivation back up, happy, productive, etc.) then it tapered off the past few days and now I feel back in a depressive state where I started. Is this normal? I am curious to hear other peoples experience.",2.811781609195404,5.367484086206896,5.269655172413792,74.49919540229888,78.82758620689657,8.004597701149425,28.63218390804597,8.841846274778883,2.8912666666666667,239,11,41,6,6,84,46,58,0.078,0.7490000000000001,0.172,0.7574,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,5,4,0,1,3,0,2,0,0,1,0,8,7,5,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,5,2,5,6,2,18,0,1,0,0,1,6,0,1,11,29,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18538377263221376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32162071255156965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4046204221004171,0.0,0.18012593333280796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332385598212249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4091443771479904,0.0,0.0,0.10574392084045184,0.0,0.20080046180624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23056985400806174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22262595109473607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2357080731528843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20960619194127889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20490592193298324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19964109784897732,0.1449864793377655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2960508060369214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,doyouhearthatbatsy,2020/01/20,"Do you need to go to the ER to be admitted to the hospital? Or can you just contact your psychiatrist and they can coordinate it? I'm at the point where I no longer feel safe from myself and want to admit myself to the hospital. The last time I did this I went to the ER, but I ended up with a huge bill I'd like to avoid paying again if possible. If I contact my psychiatrist and tell her how I'm feeling, can I just be directly admitted?",5.241290322580646,4.294384096774195,7.143569892473121,76.9753548387097,68.24731182795699,11.310967741935485,31.50322580645161,10.793553405168565,3.108790967741936,343,12,76,9,5,122,58,93,0.047,0.7829999999999999,0.16899999999999998,0.8121,0,1,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,3,1,0,5,3,0,1,7,0,7,0,0,1,0,20,18,8,0,4,6,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,2,5,0,2,2,1,1,2,0,2,2,14,2,12,14,0,11,0,0,0,0,11,5,0,3,5,55,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3119988962989705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3562277279511996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20019817692004035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2871399210671971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17209704533634992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26119724123092525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3330007266480438,0.39712161266472573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3078918447116083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20540635812385494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2077728023530503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32654969270449274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SonceSrce,2020/01/20,"Doubts about starting my lamictal prescription? I was prescribed lamictal a month ago by a new psychiatrist. My primary concern when I saw him was depressive episodes but I didn’t start the medication because I have been more or less okay for the last two months. I hate taking medications and I would rather not be on them if my moods are manageable. In the past they haven’t been manageable once they got severe.. but right now I’m handling my life okay and my moods have not been severe. I don’t think it’s worth the potential side effects, and potential future withdrawal symptoms if I get off, when I might not even need it.

Has anyone had similar doubts in the past and ended up taking it anyway? What was your experience?",3.9512745648512073,6.4990368394160605,4.540437956204381,81.28006737787761,74.76642335766422,8.594946659180236,27.32678270634475,9.265573868473778,2.6291475575519367,585,23,107,15,13,186,90,137,0.08800000000000001,0.8320000000000001,0.081,-0.4408,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,3,1,7,8,1,2,7,2,17,4,0,1,0,20,28,11,0,5,9,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,2,0,1,0,6,4,0,1,10,1,19,2,8,15,2,21,0,1,1,0,5,7,0,6,14,76,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505669906854787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11876718189045908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10354256899120856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14629662208967958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15044189536531585,0.0,0.0,0.1121882079704182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16615164517466702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08874268768999155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358492652940472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16769751789146276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13845521401781594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11997423254037505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3422238623078416,0.0,0.18019024847210466,0.0,0.0,0.2711546886432647,0.0,0.0,0.12594598410796265,0.0,0.16404786906753038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808909706053804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3242933175159945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450559949681358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3837775977263468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404497347425533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1765452978308077,0.2554209685549333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10883679056831004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16592451547960682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12066074501716564,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,thatirelandkid,2020/01/20,"Nausea and vomiting on Lamictal? Recently diagnosed, and recently started on Lamictal for treatment. I'm coming to the end of the first 2 weeks at 25mg and supposed to increase to 50mg in a few days. I'm a little concerned about upping the dose because of the nausea I've been having, even at such a low dose. I accidentally took it on an empty stomach once and it made me vomit. Anyone else have a similar experience? Does it get worse as you increase the dose or is it kind of all the same? I can deal with the current level of nausea (I'm frequently nauseous anyway, lol) and it's only made me vomit the one time I didn't eat first, but I'm not sure I can handle it if it gets worse. I know lithium is also infamous for causing stomach disturbances, though, and that was the only other alternative my psych mentioned to me, so I'm a little hesitant to suggest switching off of the Lamictal.",5.39506639427988,5.758041101123595,7.095066394279883,73.01607252298268,67.76404494382022,9.843513789581207,33.59754851889684,9.800150414767053,3.3685775280898884,708,31,128,15,11,247,108,178,0.114,0.866,0.019,-0.9336,1,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,0,2,7,4,0,1,16,1,9,10,2,3,2,19,22,13,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,0,9,8,1,0,1,0,0,4,2,2,0,3,6,0,10,2,23,16,5,27,0,1,0,0,4,12,0,2,11,89,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12481667521595333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091343764816928,0.1599218352997049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09514458056763887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16033658335671647,0.0,0.13444862104509914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10065832944258428,0.16091105364685934,0.0,0.15841735051698425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365861735068617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15970823679385387,0.13038434803495252,0.0,0.1382400608154596,0.0,0.0,0.10308900093918648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526756458216629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.265522191175002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16309013540944914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16253272308540792,0.08577718075662473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31286521345768303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.295372288077578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16621951429641774,0.105763470824764,0.237410901197014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3082192433615875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11047383401131718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471030291274486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533472615651362,0.0,0.09101117912838423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17341000552371394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251975156497018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3181165759612836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,happycynicalchick,2020/01/20,"Are antipsychotics overkill if your worst symptom is SI and have no psychosis? This sucks. I just started Latuda and I'm having some of the uncomfortable side effects. My SI is gone, yay, but so is my libido, my excitement and any interest to do anything. I just feel emotionally blunted, like nothing is bad but nothing is great either and feel like I think slower. I'm also constantly scared of getting tardive dyskinesia and have some muscle twitching.

My depressive episodes are my biggest problem. I just have really bad suicidal ideation, but no psychotic symptoms with mania. So I'm feeling like they're unnecessary. The worst is I don't feel happy or sad, just blah.

Is there any better alternatives to this? Are all antipsychotics like this?",4.4285213032581465,7.608975360902258,4.81386466165414,76.34210025062659,77.34586466165413,7.757192982456143,32.174937343358394,8.648137234880735,3.35630365914787,605,31,94,14,15,191,81,133,0.264,0.534,0.20199999999999999,-0.9058,1,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,0,2,8,19,1,1,2,1,16,3,0,1,1,26,28,13,1,2,10,0,4,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,6,0,0,1,3,9,0,0,1,4,11,10,5,27,6,5,0,2,0,0,1,2,1,4,6,63,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353183781714663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23013924970618155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13924664958171207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2825690748166551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14965382397116134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828575217374036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457416199701376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903401661312234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3422336815167403,0.24176946374399566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08840602660336984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18655627991848145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18012879189356462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33067277352245233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3247260024321613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16191255628527454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10840122201579068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16941023413505768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11976877306602465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18508992063176025,0.0,0.0,0.3517510840161421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10842389894725447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,keikeimcgee,2020/01/20,"I just want to be normal I desperately just want to be “normal”. I hate this. I’ve been stable about 1.5 years. I take my meds on time everyday. But yet I still have to go to therapy every month and my psychiatrist every 6 months for a med check in. I know I need to go to these things to stay stable, but then I get so jealous when my husband goes to the Dr once a year and he’s fine! Why can’t I be like that? It hurts me that I have to do all this extra work just to be stable. But I’m so scared of what will happen if I stop. Just needed to vent to people who would understand I guess. Stay strong.",0.09624125874125866,1.8202313863636377,2.4048484848484857,95.90611888111893,83.62121212121212,5.576689976689976,15.456876456876454,6.67199483983844,-0.5806102564102562,461,7,114,5,13,157,85,132,0.157,0.7120000000000001,0.131,-0.8226,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,10,7,2,1,3,0,11,1,0,0,1,22,25,10,0,8,8,1,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,9,2,0,1,2,0,1,2,1,4,0,0,1,0,16,3,17,18,2,17,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,2,12,74,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2673732386007072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08289871273654817,0.0,0.18035204106318686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17479328706161856,0.0,0.14031167281618506,0.0,0.0,0.15665412806608495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16985989903392465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08720107870463406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07751832175712366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3524939942576781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25329833055688805,0.0,0.0,0.23530411865281764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3109265222124373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16897875193092698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11000204719085864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15885670778080407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33824297793109553,0.12671435218766994,0.1326555233707302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193003618117504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18145338166667652,0.0,0.10541353485277573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925219612508989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16518143761012968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871757753156625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431753177380273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155139097644306,0.0,0.0,0.1127148692487032,0.0,0.0,0.2043570155929684
bipolarreddit,Necromuffin,2020/01/20,"Antipsychotic and weight-gain? Sorry - I didn't know where to post this.. I'm being trialled for a second antipsychotic called Quetiapine. I was on my first anti-psychotic from March - September of last year but I gained crazy weight (lost it now, and am a lot more aware of how to look after myself). My question is - I know this next medicine also can cause weight gain.. But I want to know, if I keep up my exercise and eating, can I still stay toned etc, or will I literally put on weight whether I eat my weight-loss calories or not? As some people make it seem that you put on 30lbs whether you are trying to maintain weight (and not overeating at all) or not. So, I'm a bit scared to go down that road again. But if that's not the case then I am ready to try again. Thanks!  

​

P.S, last year I was on Mirtazapine AND Olanzapine, so maybe that's why my weight gain was so crazy? So surely I have better chances just being on one medication.",2.6638266583229044,4.699120632978727,3.4101752190237815,90.31029411764708,76.71276595744679,6.551188986232791,21.69712140175219,7.510576382923642,0.6174927409261577,741,20,159,10,17,234,114,188,0.06,0.792,0.14800000000000002,0.9579,0,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,2,0,6,12,5,0,1,4,0,14,9,0,3,2,34,27,23,0,3,15,0,5,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,8,5,7,1,5,1,0,3,5,2,0,3,5,6,20,3,21,19,6,29,0,1,1,0,4,11,0,9,13,107,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07337715753893183,0.0,0.09941747587260816,0.11149345782343656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08115063427615779,0.10017367476188814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09369302958064966,0.0,0.0,0.09425858136234123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18777837866954813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10233207953368617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07804751896419787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05214699068003355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08155685702515762,0.0,0.0,0.15127992380988714,0.14958660481445984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07705184401826666,0.0,0.100162400368733,0.07800758225706889,0.0,0.0,0.061247773625627534,0.0,0.09218113118955956,0.0,0.0,0.09243441283932796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09758343721930908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062176170348599465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06361198571228363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08787678548396627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844800389119216,0.10278760376533884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09186365966553288,0.0,0.0,0.0835311223572622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10271321432753112,0.0,0.09779957750286833,0.0732763777288427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08647884686932637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08447650200117793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245924618552501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05412000525957028,0.0,0.0,0.782137742035984,0.0,0.0,0.08279542516605022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11149345782343656,0.11817557843764487
bipolarreddit,stardust_zan,2020/01/20,Meds resistant Anyone here is not reacting well to meds ? How do you cope without them ? Is it even possible ?,1.9208333333333345,4.750470750000002,3.5300000000000047,81.62833333333334,91.5,8.666666666666668,26.66666666666667,8.841846274778883,3.283666666666667,85,4,15,3,3,28,18,20,0.11,0.89,0.0,-0.33,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,1,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,4,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,13,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2347893849935097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2217834921535212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7459651172006478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.378548272513012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30191194848154795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3236857302444329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,zcarninjagirl,2020/01/20,"I feel overlooked by everyone For most of my life, I've felt like everyone overlooks me and I constantly fall through the cracks. I try to be a nice person, and I know I am. People tell me that I'm sweet all of the time. I dont think I'm unattractive, and I like interesting things. I dont know why people arent more interested in me. It seems as though I only get interest when I'm manic. This probably seems weird, but I'm an extrovert and I feel so alone right now. I dont know why things are this way for me. My mom lost the battle with bipolar 5 years ago and it just seems like everything has gone downhill for me since then...",1.6413659147869666,3.4133229548872213,3.282875939849625,91.26661967418549,78.84962406015038,7.140100250626568,22.36152882205514,8.07648339933343,0.9720431077694238,495,15,113,9,12,164,82,133,0.109,0.763,0.127,0.075,1,1,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,5,11,1,0,5,0,8,2,0,0,1,20,25,11,0,0,2,1,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,7,6,0,0,10,0,0,2,4,3,0,0,3,4,18,8,11,21,3,12,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,4,10,64,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12257332180461253,0.0,0.0,0.14321222350927926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494272214586378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4861752904321114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2642572677590383,0.12427354348687597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398329902776604,0.0,0.1327666347168412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07224349750572938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2279786031870821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09766842085694334,0.20266399198404286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1509445771312361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16194716796894582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10516512114849666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917263214234278,0.1207372606833803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14908490415803302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11808693970684728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3776438033163513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11438332761376167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12085930978968387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837288467049777,0.08860167088268234,0.13585545784946956,0.0,0.08062984160075662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938803203559761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10975704443441378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2495451465636324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08904520383318347
bipolarreddit,a_throwaway_account3,2020/01/20,"Anxiety About Work Hello all,

I'm seeking remote positions and I found one. I will be working from home so no office. I passed the first interview and it's time for the second one next week. However, I'm too anxious. I feel like I will fail at the job. In fact, I'm not sure if I want to work or not. I want to succeed at this job but I'm just not sure. It seems like my brain doesn't simply allow me. 

Has anyone overcame this anxiety? How can I overcome it?",-1.1496598639455795,0.909992469387756,1.527387755102044,95.74856462585035,98.79591836734691,4.654149659863946,17.7578231292517,6.42735559955562,-0.008953197278911862,354,11,80,5,15,121,66,98,0.20600000000000002,0.742,0.052000000000000005,-0.8255,3,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,6,5,6,0,0,3,0,6,1,1,2,4,20,15,7,0,3,7,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,1,0,5,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,5,1,0,4,1,1,10,5,8,11,1,8,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,3,6,50,15,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2869035350691142,0.21184345782071773,0.0,0.13111786949710072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2093335789381708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948154031764505,0.13396384060766314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15950383890683734,0.0,0.20560525694500686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1880971686587529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37216798337641815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18322493684463845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1994289255670527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.254135890307452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17071054738193367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3534694822578939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10934402424276024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2212075083262938,0.0,0.15041668855892107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4095488977608073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,diearea,2020/01/20,Missed periods on bipolar meds? Currently I've been taking tegretol for a month now and I missed my period for about a week now. I took a pregnancy test and it came back negative. Has this happened to anyone (to help ease my mind)?,2.119333333333333,4.69245115555556,3.653333333333333,84.90000000000002,81.8888888888889,8.044444444444443,24.555555555555557,8.841846274778883,2.254022222222222,182,7,35,5,5,60,35,45,0.17800000000000002,0.713,0.109,-0.504,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,4,8,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,3,0,4,0,6,5,0,11,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,8,23,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336833022542139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2569823510966867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38224049814432703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29553561339697965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22400998738095046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3712254537374375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.337450906079978,0.0,0.2667585525533191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25127991776355113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3713130916315873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.268078398706513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,loveforsquirrels,2020/01/20,"having an alcohol/junk food party to celebrate my last night unmedicated! & by ""celebrate"" i do mean drinking & eating my depression away because i never should have stopped my meds. 

don't worry, people, it's not sad or pathetic at all...i'm NOT here alone...my dog is passed out next to me...

meds, please.",3.9408620689655134,6.080363086206898,5.209862068965517,78.3713448275862,73.3103448275862,8.777931034482759,27.11724137931035,9.3871,2.5981406896551724,241,9,44,6,5,80,48,58,0.057,0.6579999999999999,0.285,0.9172,0,1,2,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,6,3,0,0,1,8,7,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,1,1,1,0,1,4,2,0,0,0,0,6,0,6,6,0,9,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,1,5,25,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2176405522291693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4413106697538534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1913364380118561,0.0,0.0,0.12414351265234284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17540395928294195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19950005276077026,0.0,0.2083854003750241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2462551081534916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16600241601754126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22183520045293625,0.4524198031809513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1570678937233647,0.0,0.21658471842173227,0.1911122879792782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14118568075009394,0.0,0.0,0.2235471984664904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17026101650509054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20681706491889126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,berfica,2020/01/20,"Frozen in ice I'm frozen. I can't seem to move. I'm on disability and live with my parents at 31. Before I had to go on disability I was successful in my career as a 3D animation and art, now I can't pick up a pencil. I don't feel depressed like usual. My depression usually plummets to suiciality. I feel nothing but fear. I am afraid of everything. Everything sets off my fear, including the idea of creating/working on my art. 

People say I'm doing better because i've stayed out of hospital for 2.5 months, but that doesn't really seem like an accomplishment. I'm constantly in and out of hospital. 

I think my meds made me too level. I just feel nothing. I do nothing. I'm terrified to move. I'm afraid when I wake up in the morning because I have nothing to do. The fear paralyzes me, and that causes me to be afraid to try to move, if that makes sense. 

I'm rambling. I think they broke me. All the ECT(last year) and meds. My soul is frozen. I'm not me anymore. I can't move, I don't desire anything, and I don't feel. Am I even alive.",0.3645405982905992,2.6599838657407417,3.0555555555555562,87.95269230769233,87.65740740740742,6.656410256410258,23.122507122507123,7.882392219407189,1.4289998575498577,809,32,173,18,26,282,108,216,0.05,0.8109999999999999,0.139,0.96,1,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,0,0,1,3,5,13,0,6,7,0,17,1,1,4,1,29,36,11,0,2,5,1,4,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,9,0,0,9,2,0,5,8,9,0,0,3,5,30,4,28,32,1,28,1,3,0,0,3,14,0,3,9,101,33,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10582723007137422,0.0,0.0,0.08781289245206432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13009833958067274,0.0,0.09080199341776224,0.0,0.0,0.09437595223221584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10962013361295853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11531514717670098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18381761053025933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07048067147494601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918073804420708,0.0,0.0,0.3602338350542177,0.2158222805272472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06064551368415581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12046212757574548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08698255039207083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1042658217823524,0.0,0.0942265145337793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009711851368106,0.07122947355348104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23706057581956835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08517456903401313,0.4536615856868981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4095628816006959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11848836084503862,0.0,0.0,0.07397898708405658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06836088968129221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08485974137043449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19428878859197016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137382145816864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13675038079679858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07244880051418118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23505105406520116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07768584546126378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06871747118877666
bipolarreddit,LastUserNameDrowned,2020/01/20,"Just a friendly reminder not to accidentally take double your dose of lamotragine You never truly appreciate binocular vision until one of your eyes goes all wonky and misaligns, and the other droops and occasionally misses where you need to focus.

It's only happened twice before, but the ocular side effects are so unpleasant that I already have an immediate solution: Wrap a headband around the offending eye and wait for the chemicals to wear off. Thank God I know how where everything is in my apartment and how to touch type.

This med is a lifesaver, but yikes does it ever have the worst mild overdose side effects.",9.40266666666666,9.632658963636368,8.93818181818182,63.63393939393943,59.36363636363636,11.696969696969695,38.33333333333333,11.20814326018867,4.635969696969696,506,22,76,12,6,162,85,110,0.155,0.698,0.147,-0.4686,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,4,0,2,8,5,1,0,9,0,5,4,3,4,3,20,12,11,0,1,4,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,5,6,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,3,0,2,0,3,7,2,11,12,3,11,0,1,2,0,5,8,0,0,3,58,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.323504231525548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26097042455551783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2494536209863913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2565422326577414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2651758082169933,0.0,0.0,0.2634691364266309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2264911053299315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25923631828680804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16111052017491118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3256295198236389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21737098622290235,0.22609948748151104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19864966008183674,0.22295786274190002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22041634844506566,0.0,0.0,0.2698980704882638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,amangamer1234,2020/01/20,"Been off my meds for almost a month, not sure what to do now. So as the title says I've been off my meds for a little over a month now at this point and I know I need get back on them, I told my therapist about it and she is understanding but the issue is I don't know how to just get going back on them. I am on 2mg Abilify, 15mg Lexipro and 200mg Lamictal. I am concerned that since lamictal is something you have to ease your way into that it's not a good idea to jump right back to 200mg but I'm not sure what to do. I reached out to my APRN to reschedule since I couldn't make my appointment last week where I was planning on telling her about what's going on but she hasn't responded to me and its been 6 days. I'm going to email her again tomorrow morning and hopefully set something up soon. Does anyone know if it's safe to just go right back into taking meds after being off them for a month? Any help is appreciated!",2.75893917963225,3.3393425742574294,4.349024045261668,89.58108910891089,73.75247524752477,7.751626591230551,23.83451202263083,7.957251820313856,0.9309719943422919,728,19,172,10,14,245,109,202,0.034,0.8590000000000001,0.107,0.9436,0,0,2,0,0,0,11.0,0,2,3,1,15,5,0,0,7,0,17,0,0,2,2,31,34,12,0,4,9,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,10,8,0,1,5,0,0,5,6,0,0,0,5,1,24,5,32,27,0,42,0,0,0,0,15,19,0,3,16,115,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12455631923038568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08458790513472454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08697477580119141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3825858699511653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08021977967006419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10885251926366858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12997488435737994,0.0,0.28276959806723806,0.10433050578756403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08337445697549642,0.0,0.0,0.12354505789391855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404185789171457,0.0,0.1298284475379298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2050806896693231,0.10139258173871762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1246691586726505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08302975926692889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4145000986256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2978552392605565,0.0,0.0,0.09223190747216377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11758658729941165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21245284160414785,0.0,0.09891809592205926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20578959065252805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1915194653608757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344678806165571,0.0,0.0935240742492228,0.0,0.1087203371637781,0.0,0.0,0.14442371319629754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11885778306502348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12949198813009424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09873317080640637,0.09977631435247712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MusicTherapy1,2020/01/21,"Music Therapy Please take my Music Therapy survey! I need responses for my AP Research class. Also if you know anyone who is willing to do it, it would be greatly appreciated.
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdeWQZjwM75JCxIbkM9q2hEFmTbhxGUIgGoaL0OgPxP9hXMOA/viewform?usp=sf_link",18.51954545454545,25.33536209090909,12.657803030303032,19.00670454545454,49.30303030303031,9.36060606060606,32.49242424242424,9.516144504307137,4.598642424242424,251,8,20,5,4,70,29,33,0.0,0.8290000000000001,0.171,0.7339,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,4,8,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,16,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2444543327007359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2137404407815313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33701623929321073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16799520934628304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266598375865161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3355477932688689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2298353363900217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6991495814618719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21714820891164666,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,atticusmurphy,2020/01/21,"Monkey's Pawed myself Been in a couple month long depressive episode for the first time in over year and was wishing for a manic episode so I could feel something. 


Now it's 3am, I'm wide awake and punching darts with a black coffee after 2 hours of tossing and turning like a madman, haven't slept more than 2 hours in a row in a week, and realised I'm showing all my signs of an incoming mixed episode. Monkey's paw, huh?


[No advice wanted, thanks]",6.095934065934068,5.576015296703299,6.031076923076927,84.23892307692311,66.36263736263736,8.159120879120879,31.386813186813182,6.742157984588678,1.716391648351648,356,12,72,2,5,112,68,91,0.033,0.9109999999999999,0.055999999999999994,0.2023,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,8,1,4,1,1,0,1,11,12,5,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,0,1,3,2,3,2,12,8,2,16,0,1,1,0,0,6,0,0,11,38,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24608942367046066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010690824890709,0.27864970483648216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2169043904687682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273349165847086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2142100053547784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4960118331734562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12303344851011133,0.0,0.0,0.2228653042487822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010116215358092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19387423761673744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23185505684461505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468465221845557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2739232468942516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14853831063830705,0.0,0.20200617039991084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28959685223664683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621729404463466
bipolarreddit,mr24315,2020/01/21,If you need a friendly ear I was diagnosed a year ago with bipolar ii so I know the struggle. If anybody needs someone to talk to or is going through a hard time send me a message. I know it would have helped me when I needed it.,1.8047959183673468,3.1433665714285723,3.3956632653061227,92.53594387755103,77.16326530612245,5.716326530612244,28.5765306122449,5.985473137389443,1.0162612244897966,178,8,40,1,4,59,38,49,0.08800000000000001,0.841,0.071,0.0609,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,1,5,0,4,3,1,0,0,10,10,5,0,6,3,0,1,0,1,1,2,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,2,7,1,4,8,0,6,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,3,4,27,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23810337364518025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2726298496977573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2075246442840876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526552115345279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406185816263071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1800412131030352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2952381140179309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5975047434363115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22758933758574196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2808057380345409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2158956558815272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1566265564069441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19081028533765348,0.0,0.0,0.17297371995351993
bipolarreddit,brambleb1,2020/01/21,"Can anyone help please Hi all I've had mental health problems since I was 18 maybe earlier but didn't know it until a panic attack on drugs which brought it all out. 

I'm 45 now and I have had a diagnosis of Gad, and borderline personality disorder. I'm currently taking Zoloft 100mg for the last year and it's really doing nothing, and valium 2mg pills as needed. I also have seroquel which I don't want to take.

I'm seeing my physiatrist next week and I'm thinking I may have bipolar, I get 6 hours sleep and night I wake up very depressed, sometimes suicidal. That lifts buy lunch time and then I feel fast in my head like I have to do everything I need all in one go until I crash later with really bad anxiety until bed time.

I'm suffering with paranoid thoughts like I have done something wrong and I can't remember what it is. I also have had a massive problem with money, I have spent in the last 10 years over £100,000 on stuff, as It makes me feel high when spending I feel good when I'm waiting for a parcel. 

I know your not doctors but does this sound bipolar? I feel like I've been depressed for ever, and nothing has worked.

Thanks for any replys",2.516274864376129,4.427085835443037,3.997082579867392,86.506582278481,76.72151898734177,7.0459312839059685,24.78782399035564,7.957251820313856,1.4077520192887287,921,32,187,15,21,305,147,237,0.237,0.695,0.067,-0.9933,1,0,2,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,0,1,6,14,1,1,6,0,22,11,3,1,4,37,49,21,1,5,3,0,4,3,0,1,7,1,1,1,11,13,1,1,9,0,4,2,4,9,0,1,10,6,22,5,23,38,3,32,0,3,1,0,4,9,0,1,24,107,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19041752668153625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08096192718528332,0.0,0.09107724929741956,0.0,0.0,0.08324648132799904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13544299364471238,0.0,0.0,0.09940649797601396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20508492035064768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13644809376801845,0.12185850649778393,0.10418640495379712,0.1218352690909904,0.0,0.0,0.13806676075479046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10769265493882578,0.0,0.0,0.10699954489440226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24079246316032055,0.08505338287257225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062201665276481514,0.0,0.06766207170064263,0.09985823386124984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12218544836926787,0.12655059271003685,0.0,0.0,0.07980049516549198,0.12578883486258904,0.0,0.0,0.11724583707078555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13085974752277246,0.19409249600834616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1744937361592609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07947057340259299,0.0,0.11960740642283045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11998009685505115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17655651750750567,0.0,0.0,0.1266170384872495,0.11172566605248788,0.0,0.2284742215649504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08067519220834164,0.0,0.0,0.13968615777612745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10395480471901733,0.0,0.13068735614501362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278403637638936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15254020085392572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13486684725764858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09487194190163406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09848406712143302,0.0,0.11914163438251595,0.0,0.0,0.09165485883836046,0.11774908586640935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13629023980046148,0.1302275617570673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17903007001714336,0.0,0.0,0.10961045039961842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0762860557068754,0.0,0.09451689048207604,0.13884461831732994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09823338291259516,0.07022210924463347,0.0,0.09549926416259034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08667393392198029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13016866777505495,0.0,0.15333587532548484
bipolarreddit,itsyoungt,2020/01/21,"Well, we’ll, well. Here We Go Again. Stream of consciousness Id-Rather-Be-Asleep-Right-Now-But-Alas I’m not really a whiny person usually but I just want to vent here. 

I had yet another panic attack that I talked myself into. Basically, that for me is trying to fall asleep for 4 hours and stressing the entire time that I won’t fall asleep. This hasn’t happened to me since starting Seroquel (I’m on 200mg now) so I’m a little worried. I am lucky to have a badass psychiatrist and will be calling that hoe in the morning. She best respond quick. 

This round, I didn’t really make any bad choices. This mania happened super fast, it was a really nice holiday. I’m in a good head space.

Tomorrow is just another day in the life, but I am a social work counselor so I simply cannot do my job if my bip is really showing. My manic-panicked  brain always obsesses over my worst fears and thinks about all the other times I’ve been sleepless. It almost feels like posttraumatic stress but it’s really just pretty self-induced anxiety. 

Anyway, please just tell me I’m not alone. Everyone varies here, and I KNOW I’m so not alone during these sleepless nights. Bips unite. Simply hoping here for a day that works out just fine  tomorrow. 
I am hoping to rest knowing I did make it out alive all the other days prior to this one, right? 

I’m quite the workaholic and taking a day off sounds terrible in my book. I usually work with manics all day a lot of the time anyway 😂 Bips keep the world nice and spicy 🌶  spice level 5

Lamictal and seroquel XR are very sexy bois.. It’s just more adjusting from here. I think I’m officially a pretty seasoned bip.

If you’re still reading, well done. Any words of wisdoms, musings, or dumb shit you’d like to say to an annoyed bip that just wanted a stable mood tomorrow?",1.868183581124757,4.33814459663866,3.3166946778711512,87.5875436328378,82.02521008403359,6.350614091790563,21.19866408101702,7.61054688173877,0.9721897435897432,1419,43,278,24,39,464,205,357,0.141,0.6559999999999999,0.203,0.9722,1,2,0,0,0,0,49.0,2,1,0,6,26,28,4,5,20,0,22,6,5,2,3,49,47,16,0,6,16,0,2,2,0,3,1,2,0,1,18,12,0,1,7,4,0,3,7,12,3,1,6,5,26,15,27,36,8,42,0,0,1,0,11,15,2,8,26,161,44,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09427517691342054,0.1950169474716113,0.0,0.0,0.07833830790220515,0.0,0.0,0.12804713194136186,0.19744384093797152,0.07202262200944035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10710643558463873,0.0,0.0,0.07860927601830303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988020507050292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050998080320988,0.09613518015305053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30358692224850115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963456362686556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08996202356675366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10594217414107272,0.047603832709869766,0.0672590322227599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053506225232574124,0.07896650247344329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665087442139178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09662255317149876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18701953079047948,0.09271637725853964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934269212970078,0.0836826728511445,0.0,0.0,0.103482068296835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06649920248832537,0.09199147975563296,0.09436058372736668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08004088465441235,0.0,0.0,0.12568844828322245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08835110279378279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06379681993892806,0.0,0.0,0.11046187076431736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08220601373119311,0.0,0.10334574359298426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19156382052344625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10013751377156396,0.09417303283234224,0.0,0.30156667312902896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16080299539795526,0.0,0.07486991467483782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09821643285784352,0.0,0.09664111244203732,0.07787983052799867,0.0,0.0,0.09597157621139786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06663812412189485,0.0,0.07518635917159149,0.0,0.2156914127044552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07078724467765453,0.07567223859709833,0.08228911293728644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12065190367849775,0.0,0.0,0.16469458959709818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0639200099504536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2073804618997297,0.07768159294225535,0.11106133463288856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25394987628546656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20562162436028447,0.0956114123030051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bellyrage47,2020/01/21,lamictal is f-ing me up! anyone else who takes lamictal feel like it makes it harder to communicate? like my brain feels so slow that it's hard to string together words sometimes or have a conversation. also sometimes i forget words while i'm talking or use the wrong word for something. if this IS because of the lamictal i wanna get off it asap so i'm wondering if this is a common experience.,2.7730194805194803,5.331852194805197,4.714399350649352,78.40588474025976,79.0,8.005844155844157,26.508116883116887,8.841846274778883,2.51378051948052,317,13,57,8,8,108,56,77,0.08800000000000001,0.846,0.066,-0.1759,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,4,0,4,1,1,2,0,14,13,8,0,3,4,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,8,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,4,2,7,13,0,5,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,5,5,35,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18697232663932728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16348062670160216,0.2395589978236767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14252425459239146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26100168349103764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1953125643450162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22870438321681566,0.0,0.0,0.23643583581250846,0.1670290457120231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221525169480326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20944173468849087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22844885763938766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560654448925266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17999311831697098,0.4624746666501313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1757909017770722,0.18792214788200245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20193088834555267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2535495862696287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2556270853170741,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Specialist_Pause,2020/01/21,"Medication and doctor question So currently I am on Seroquel XR 600mgs and Prozac 20mgs every 3rd day. Along with buspar 20mgs 3 times a day. My mania is pretty well controlled, but I still I’m still experiencing depression, when I up my Prozac it makes me cycle rapidly. Then I just get my seroquel upped even more. I have been doing my research and have seen that Lamictal added would help the rapid cycling and depression, without causing any mania. My doctor has never mentioned adding anything else, would I be okay to ask him about adding Lamictal? Or is that not aloud? Feedback would be appreciated. Thank you.",4.6619410319410335,7.541052,4.7166257166257175,79.2197542997543,74.04504504504506,6.91924651924652,28.108927108927112,8.00094639256281,2.157515315315315,496,20,81,8,11,154,82,111,0.083,0.772,0.145,0.6715,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,1,8,5,0,0,2,1,13,5,0,3,1,19,19,9,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,0,3,6,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,2,2,14,3,8,12,1,12,0,2,1,0,6,3,0,2,9,57,17,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12399600774688545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500485350700094,0.0,0.17046129947888916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18731122507759332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20450743150593145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23518569009553034,0.0,0.3140946894010044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3732610831049904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1523198976183448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204324468794745,0.0,0.1536275239977074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09526401405738458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12221723420813367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12171194755191728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18368622631509213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406302101035525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855031706959729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20426015017204627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2912305252903306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16787221758922274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10632268133322324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1639436476751563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17576720492038514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3885827849719093,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Enby-envy,2020/01/21,"Will the side effects of Abilify go away? I just got officially diagnosed with BD and was perscribed Abilify. We're on day 3 and I feel like a zombie — I haven't gone a day without napping, I can't focus on anything around me, and I'm a little stone faced. I haven't been able to notice any benefits so far. Will the side effects eventually fade as the benefits come in? Or is this just it and I should tell my doc this sucks and I'd like to try something else?",1.6639583333333334,3.5973266458333337,3.6887500000000015,87.61458333333336,79.41666666666666,7.183333333333334,25.25,8.167268648758528,1.5539875000000003,362,14,78,7,9,123,67,96,0.032,0.846,0.121,0.7824,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,2,4,5,1,0,6,0,9,2,1,2,0,16,16,8,0,1,4,0,1,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,3,8,0,0,3,1,0,3,4,1,0,0,4,1,8,4,11,9,0,15,0,0,0,0,1,9,1,1,5,46,11,0,0.25254214471079034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17173731844248386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20782066711170927,0.22481605083651124,0.0,0.0,0.2372716581348344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21754269605864468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32573758209619397,0.0,0.0,0.2563249609110683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21096655640564596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276928964081987,0.1804161586416951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14352552067515084,0.0,0.20198102328918824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24675867101846816,0.2531135742021382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2875209055912998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19441928109124387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22073296572283974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17145953895687135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.243441615513752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,greggyboy6977,2020/01/21,Goodbye Abilify Abilify has given me nothing but a flat unbearable zombie mood. I’m gonna stop taking it and see what happens.,4.783750000000001,6.967949875000006,6.789999999999999,67.75500000000001,71.08333333333334,9.8,37.0,10.125756701596842,4.7489,103,6,15,3,2,36,23,24,0.12300000000000001,0.877,0.0,-0.4215,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,7,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,5,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,7,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4659382659146831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5055772953345251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4198731871037529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4405142015827568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39616521270031735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,emuhkay,2020/01/21,"My Pdoc called today... I may have been misdiagnosed. Might have an autoimmune disorder instead of BPD. Is anyone else experiencing or suspecting this? I’ve tried medicine after medicine over the past 7 years or so and nothing has seemed to work for more than a few weeks. Probably the placebo effect. Anyway, I recently started to suspect that my symptoms could stem from a medical problem, such as a thyroid problem. I brought this up to the Psych-PA whom I see monthly. 

My lymph nodes are almost always swollen or there’s a weird bump on them, at all times. I always thought this was strange, but when brought it up to my PCP, he never had any concerns. I brought it up to pdoc hoping she’d have some answers. She said it’s normal for someone who has had mono in their past (which I have). I left my appt, discouraged. 

A couple days later, pdoc called me on her day off and said she found blood test results she hadn’t seen before and I had abnormalities suggesting an autoimmune problem. She says it’s very possible if I’m treated for it, it’s very likely Ill feel better than I have in a while and I won’t ever have to take psych meds again. 

I know it sounds too good to be true, but it’s something. I’m interested in hearing other user’s stories about being misdiagnosed.",2.5590694789081887,5.0908892741935485,3.5461290322580648,86.62765508684866,79.64516129032259,6.234739454094293,26.473945409429284,7.468242284971852,1.5287420595533503,1012,42,194,15,26,324,158,248,0.09300000000000001,0.83,0.077,0.292,0,0,1,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,2,3,10,12,0,0,11,0,23,8,1,2,4,35,41,14,0,7,6,0,1,1,0,3,7,5,0,0,16,4,0,1,9,0,0,3,3,5,0,0,14,9,26,7,28,20,4,33,0,1,2,0,18,12,0,10,19,128,42,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12603387511515501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2094566319179948,0.0,0.0,0.08559133360615316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08800651865137826,0.12896178486370016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071003649576972,0.0,0.0,0.11131582630347073,0.0,0.0,0.15852037134576094,0.0,0.2570409239477689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10049157242861444,0.13926530448712535,0.0,0.1623427820470737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14425020154096602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10514260425642064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11385052550326245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06364024659713337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13800256936414204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055681318971012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418570427610466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250106176379222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06917115671052437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13675080149286722,0.0,0.0,0.06149043179111385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13980570927857566,0.1267939941057119,0.0,0.13352103005679447,0.0,0.0,0.10046285423149016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970735062103555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12331927261051133,0.12076919360886006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403014489542368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14189191562593145,0.0,0.0,0.13570188330647429,0.3613024281011832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12427478611272175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394495674701675,0.10009151703503767,0.0,0.0,0.10029672355233137,0.1145811858427683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10664353271699656,0.09689568754342803,0.0,0.0,0.08908666404519366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308201205000407,0.09463350849654464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09992137027758552,0.07339187973268603,0.0,0.11930365475005585,0.0,0.0,0.08545289242844276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2077007438049536,0.0,0.0,0.10095991612670273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09162995312965302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08105181358109216
bipolarreddit,darkat4pm,2020/01/22,"Prozac (Fluoxetine) - Short Term Monotherapy (SAD element) **TLDR:** started having long, severe episodes at 16, correctly diagnosed at 28. Medication resistant - SSRIs, SNRIs, various mood stabilisers and atypical antipsychotics. Medication-free with medical approval between 30 - 34, other than propranolol sporadically for the past year. Main factors affecting episodes - period cycles (PCOS), seasonal changes and situational stress. Complex migraines. No auditory or visual hallucinations for several years - previously mild. No history of self-harm or suicide attempts.

My GP suggested monotherapy with fluoxetine for a moderate depressive episode which has dragged on since October. No intention of self harm or suicide etc, so it's just a persistent low mood which I would normally ignore. However, as it was triggered by a rotating shift pattern and very drawn out, stressful event (now resolved) and my depressive episodes typically last until March, I agreed to try it short term. Historically SSRIs have given me rapid cycling, though fluoxetine was the exception and just generally numbed my mood (still depressed but not dwelling) and made me more sociable. 

I normally keep a daily, paper-based mood journal and track moods affected by period cycle on Clue. While I am concerned that it might trigger a mixed or manic episode, I think I have enough insight that I would stop taking it and report symptoms early on. Additionally I study therapy and any fast or disorganised speech etc. is fed back to me as part of training. 

Mostly I'm taking it for general motivation since I've become very pessimistic and cynical over the past few months - for real reasons which I can fully justify. However, it's not really helping me move forward and I'm turning down various good opportunities as a result. 

I had the first pill yesterday (combined with propranolol and painkillers for a migraine earlier in the day) and so far feel fine.",8.5393776371308,11.146637452531646,8.55196202531646,57.200580168776376,62.13291139240506,12.735021097046411,42.5970464135021,12.086156645461163,6.635042616033754,1569,93,205,59,24,509,211,316,0.13699999999999998,0.8,0.063,-0.9342,2,0,0,0,0,2,58.0,0,0,0,7,8,21,1,3,12,0,13,10,0,9,1,56,25,27,2,4,11,0,1,0,0,3,9,1,0,1,13,18,1,3,7,0,0,2,5,12,0,1,6,2,17,4,32,16,12,42,0,5,0,0,3,14,0,7,28,131,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07574838284134386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08565131415830704,0.0,0.0,0.12302046918886862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11783485946985715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07183673093946591,0.0,0.28781771139455753,0.11305755468277408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150946787198264,0.2484565002370688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056321657348386414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09474748046944312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09342786160551456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07466174125142698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09900771761476457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09079695361392452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0985758159459238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10539902511349797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22442552540885047,0.0,0.11816619365521315,0.0,0.0,0.08890968773401567,0.11838894630694695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.218275264091586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12062350093390742,0.21266693000103692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12678514037823027,0.07135868632755928,0.11452650905134075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324061724657462,0.25167587212958736,0.0,0.18428436870121684,0.1252059743392549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07884175242793957,0.0,0.08895544996016917,0.0931262447182624,0.255191591680622,0.0,0.0,0.2436831124806077,0.0,0.0,0.11577588703765015,0.16750142635236373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12738310171090594,0.0,0.0,0.07137361416701632,0.1094391892887724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07562586231399153,0.1211593148613896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838152859092554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15825518953638584,0.0,0.0,0.1434618096588328
bipolarreddit,paperinferno,2020/01/22,lamictal + aderall my psychiatrist is planning to put me on aderall next month but i’m worried it will trigger a manic episode. i’m currently on 100mg of lamictal and 300mg of wellbutrin. i guess i’m just looking for some advice on what to expect and if anyone else has any experience with a mood stabilizer for bipolar + a stimulant for adhd.,4.625588235294117,6.061875088235299,6.7198823529411795,71.10747058823532,70.17647058823529,9.55764705882353,37.12941176470589,9.888512548439397,4.134361176470589,278,16,48,7,5,98,50,68,0.048,0.9520000000000001,0.0,-0.4215,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,3,0,3,1,0,2,0,11,8,4,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,11,7,1,7,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,3,3,28,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3500972959164149,0.2846641799747116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1981003854494235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20369030989892853,0.29848091171590324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24335162863796925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28495649688025043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3209101531315068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24462653282246666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23252038854990706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30981085802695674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2928464131454041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2958388422048029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Zcain312,2020/01/22,Latuda withdrawls I am currently coming off of latuda and my doc switched me from 40 mg to 20 mg for 7 days and then said to just stop taking it. What can I expect as far as side effects go? And is that too much of an abrupt stop? Thanks in advance,2.3465094339622645,3.377726622641511,3.603915094339623,92.82398584905664,75.22641509433961,6.054716981132076,22.683962264150942,5.985473137389443,0.21436226415094328,193,5,44,1,4,63,44,53,0.087,0.86,0.053,-0.2168,1,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,1,0,9,8,6,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,4,1,10,7,1,13,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,6,28,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32248817479169434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2414388536467873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21276413337306208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2752063643339708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3561133322173371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6259832115176321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28148101837202805,0.0,0.0,0.3446712744931268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,morbicized,2020/01/22,"I was doing good I started rexulti and keeping remeron prn. It was amazing to get out of bed before my alarm, and drink coffee BEFORE I got to work. This is great, I'm finally productive again! Social disruption at the tattoo shop, whatevs, I'll just distance myself and prepare to resign from my apprenticeship.

I'm gonna be a stripper!

I cant believe i started the job, now I'm juggling 4 working schedules.

Oh dang, social disruption at the tattoo shop exploded and I'm banned on my last day.

But I'm IT by day, stripper by night! 

Working 68 hours a week. Friday morning to Sunday morning I get 3-4 hours of sleep total.

I'm gonna make so much money!

Oh shit my rexulti ran out a week ago, get it filled.

I feel so useless. But i must keep going.

This feels like a rollercoaster and has just been since Christmas.",1.6199250170415844,4.054493245398774,3.5784764826175888,85.53563565098844,82.80368098159508,5.830811179277438,26.233469665984998,7.1686216300943375,1.528107293796865,641,28,120,9,18,216,99,163,0.13,0.7879999999999999,0.08199999999999999,-0.7836,2,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,3,6,8,1,1,7,0,9,3,2,1,2,19,30,9,0,1,4,0,2,1,0,3,0,0,1,0,5,7,1,3,2,3,3,3,1,4,0,0,5,2,13,4,14,21,2,24,0,2,0,0,2,5,2,0,17,63,18,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13568073778779735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2604899560770828,0.17244910752359152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19742539711035045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14994305232009775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15478607423391952,0.10934793441931433,0.0,0.16767256966543506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2399066345996524,0.0,0.08698898890455213,0.12838162620583687,0.12241812404638967,0.16875202969087924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3014716092400886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518909881002811,0.27209809955794817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247664279068069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07477864283074477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10217045760203794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11251860449398912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14363885823054487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571165340369783,0.1266149440413918,0.0,0.1531731153196785,0.3120560399062946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21667695729470554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24555513072040824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33429413348193804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Leaves77,2020/01/22,"Employment woes Can someone help me please? 

Ive been bipolar for 22 years now. Ive done it all: meds, therapy, hospitalization, IOPs. 

My area problem has always been keeping a job. Ive been lucky to do 2 years at a job once. But other times, I can barely do a year. I find it very difficult to work cause of the paranoia, irritability, intrusive thoughts, focus/concentration, mood swings, anxiety. You name it and it flares up when I’m working. I make almost $5k a month at my current job but it’s only me that is able to support me. I feel so helpless. My meds and therapy only helps but so much. I thought of disability but I can’t fathom the financial repercussions like not having any money come in while they make a decision or even a denial. 

What would you do? Thank you.",1.5676470588235285,4.122452333333335,3.535457516339872,84.85455882352943,84.49019607843138,6.798692810457518,24.18627450980393,7.984000788550335,1.6601215686274506,609,24,120,13,18,205,105,153,0.102,0.772,0.126,0.6872,5,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,3,1,2,5,9,0,0,8,0,17,1,0,3,1,24,27,11,0,2,6,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,8,3,0,1,5,0,1,1,2,4,0,0,6,1,19,4,10,20,2,15,0,2,0,0,7,5,0,3,10,75,27,6,0.1396863677697833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398757196674188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11623024802607307,0.0,0.0,0.0949915201331075,0.0,0.10685968900548233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14349637808046414,0.0,0.12032743715738173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14294765229950085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09226152849843147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0706296246501401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276708095096591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18725765570764927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4158514981541215,0.1241596618746914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06824370346134144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18648347033750493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.310320129109531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11149632606815683,0.0,0.10268555283026223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14876142280495172,0.0,0.2124755543954489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533336847822493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13366098889964742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183558061119406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1585144347868003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12860443998703336,0.319487070664822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2217907457810331,0.08145224437457367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11525588254995525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20338667878602595,0.0,0.0,0.09922918786597054,0.0,0.0,0.2698603231388263
bipolarreddit,solost554,2020/01/22,"Ready to fight the darkness I have been in a depressive phase for several months. Paying for the months of mania before it. 

There is always a point in all of my depressive phases where I finally get fed up of wallowing in anhedonia. I would dream about someone coming to rescue me from my darkness. In the past, that person would always turn out to be me. I always come to rescue myself. 

I finally feel an emotion after months of grey. Anger. 

Not the best emotion, but I can use it as fuel for now.

I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel yet, but I can't sit and do nothing in the darkness anymore. 

Routine. Consistency. Going through the motions. Praying for the strength to pull through this.  

I want to take back control of my life.",2.308298850574712,4.738948289655177,3.7234482758620717,85.58471264367817,79.89655172413794,6.073563218390802,25.52873563218391,7.3011,1.4080252873563217,582,23,109,8,15,191,91,145,0.10300000000000001,0.777,0.11900000000000001,0.5153,0,0,0,0,1,0,18.0,0,0,0,3,6,6,2,0,13,0,10,2,0,2,1,14,21,4,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,4,4,1,1,1,1,1,5,3,4,0,0,2,4,15,2,30,16,2,27,1,2,2,0,2,10,0,0,11,83,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3699327514600819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14697057886618564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11395355184322148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12610385366612667,0.0,0.15552252550922208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25531540862343644,0.0,0.0,0.16621437953278392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.255281940264436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33340103486011713,0.13125764080313088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07493233423929946,0.0,0.0,0.3246828784854428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07742627674579804,0.0,0.08422318382316346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10467519491280228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3548658234888329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14219802821627342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14146982023194984,0.0,0.1293990031207942,0.0,0.0,0.1400930909821771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11809299954328653,0.0,0.0,0.16741926159708193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12556596281903168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11142492476168506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16119465770050306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12799373467858305,0.0,0.0,0.08740982158405979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2105483275126649,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Saaraah0101,2020/01/22,"Husband may be undiagnosed I believe my husband has undiagnosed bipolar depression. He already has depression and anxiety, and I think that over time it’s turned into bipolar depression (which I understand can happen, I work in the bio pharma industry). He has episodes of severe depression followed by episodes of strange thoughts that I can’t follow. When he takes his depression medication it helps, but when he doesn’t it’s very difficult to have any kind of communication with him. 

I’m looking for help because I’m at my whits end. We have an infant son and I need him to see a doctor to try to figure out what’s going on, but getting him to keep any appointments is already difficult. 

I think he’s been able to manage with just me helping him but now that my attention needs to be split to care for our son, he can’t cope as well anymore. 

Any advise or thoughts are welcome.",6.027613636363636,7.006306577380958,6.521125541125543,75.51175324675326,66.55952380952381,9.918614718614721,36.10606060606061,10.018931242160765,3.7515761904761904,707,35,127,16,11,230,104,168,0.133,0.759,0.107,-0.1479,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,2,0,0,1,5,11,0,0,3,0,15,4,0,0,0,24,35,10,0,2,5,4,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,8,8,0,1,7,0,0,3,3,7,1,0,3,2,18,4,23,29,0,14,0,5,2,0,23,6,0,2,5,79,26,4,0.13175888739419225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2907984172635605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2688016848984605,0.0,0.10079518821662314,0.0,0.13066941162584875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08031899481372125,0.0,0.0,0.14844714644479248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343369669679026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5674186832221441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13486080435005765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11669926612154227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06883858051593549,0.0,0.07488161209087099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11651394898227628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2649456145865413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11711335307114505,0.0,0.13720660561718875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106442810873709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13273321731165955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1953950909839869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10499477437251363,0.0,0.0,0.14885003907920258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09906628572457583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16885154970300928,0.0,0.2092036779608962,0.0768296668164581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08945563566013888,0.14331583396791642,0.0,0.1371656485040899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10871488100718446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11846706337362843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09592203926374708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,yampuddang,2020/01/22,"Extended Menstruation and Mania Has anyone ever experienced extended/weird menstrual cycles while in a manic episode?

I had a 1.5 week long manic episode this past December with lots of triggers around (mainly family) and was constantly hyper on no sleep, starting a new research project (never finished once I slipped back into depression), anxiety off the charts (throwing up almost every day, multiple times a day whenever I had an emotional trigger), and my period ended up lasting 21 days. It began around the beginning of the episode and seemed to be ending at a normal time (I usually have a 10 day period) but bleeding ramped up again after the 10-day mark, which led me to look at my period tracker app and saw that over the last 6 months the time in between my periods have been really irregular.

I don't think my periods are linked to the manic/depressive cycles (because of the irregularities don't match with the mood cycles) but was wondering if anyone has had any experience with the cycles affecting periods. I'm pretty healthy besides that (no other health issues) and my hormone levels are all within range.",14.275139985642495,9.987104281407037,13.463977027997124,49.16693467336685,53.92462311557789,16.99956927494616,49.53409906676238,14.554592549557764,7.202076238334532,908,42,130,28,7,303,133,199,0.016,0.9359999999999999,0.048,0.802,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,17,0,15,3,1,4,3,29,24,10,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,6,12,0,0,4,0,0,2,5,1,0,0,8,4,11,0,25,15,3,51,0,1,2,0,0,15,0,5,34,93,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375637946188771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09342146011613704,0.0,0.10509346687430356,0.0,0.0,0.1921151856327367,0.0,0.0,0.24459033036229125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056348733714174,0.0,0.08374409304829379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14845635149793976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4429858462055532,0.0,0.23664620362991826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15453127844493325,0.24335150666204536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12426587925882772,0.11574652980110325,0.0,0.0,0.1343816265058656,0.12950734897681654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14602593540637984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433864937816703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22396211410813816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12157482856229923,0.11536256139823407,0.0,0.0,0.11679349939406353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096534676387579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10595405290089267,0.1326801154869166,0.0,0.0,0.13460085294086002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14630263109716127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13114243746118176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13976237926923168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0880075906393006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12506338238081066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13747678484932108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09723655282991696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08802600133674582,0.0,0.0,0.2403179016994268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15130198745180598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11019600209946076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14898011714318907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Shamelessfanforlife,2020/01/22,"lamictal ran out... Hi guys so yeah my lamictal ran out and I'm worried cause my doctor always warned me not to stop cold turkey cause there's risk of seizures, how likely is it that I will get seizures? and have any of you guys had to stop cold turkey and what happened?",0.2480454545454549,2.666650963636364,1.2512500000000024,98.336875,93.9090909090909,4.204545454545455,17.784090909090907,5.985473137389443,-0.3418636363636365,213,6,46,2,8,66,40,55,0.10800000000000001,0.774,0.11800000000000001,0.1537,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,1,0,1,4,1,0,3,0,11,9,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,2,3,5,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,3,2,5,1,6,5,0,6,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,3,25,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21157995999232607,0.0,0.0,0.1729180000103297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5224278266445351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2602646695849996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13284994479326406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5035510952589655,0.22485750830317272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12422755946317687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4251761788468242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2582320110249685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,GypsySan24,2020/01/22,"Lamotrigine side effect? I was recently bumped from 75mg to 150 of lamotrigine. It made me incredibly manic. I stopped eating and sleeping. I’m usually 125 lbs (5’8) and naturally thin so 125 is a great weight. After some med adjustment I’m not manic and I’m on 100 mg until I slowly move up again. However, I cannot gain my appetite. I’m about 100 lbs and horribly skinny. It has tanked my confidence and self esteem. My psychiatrist doesn’t seem to concerned at my weight loss. Has anyone else experienced this ? I’m really concerned. I’m so skinny I can see bones :( I hope I’m not breaking any rules with this post as I’m fairly new to all this.",0.19577167019027544,2.4903863255813974,2.9789887244538384,84.14852536997887,100.47286821705428,6.37646229739253,19.817124735729386,7.520522993642371,1.355632558139535,512,18,99,13,22,178,83,129,0.10800000000000001,0.809,0.08199999999999999,-0.3293,1,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,3,4,3,0,0,1,0,7,7,4,2,1,16,19,9,0,1,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,6,5,1,3,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,2,5,11,2,13,17,2,15,0,1,1,0,1,5,0,3,7,49,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13927886915401275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14320898950293148,0.20985362422963771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20957333467131156,0.17109375918976666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22580544373720216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20342407020986972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19379762942914008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274994473061329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21768225199610308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19780825970038032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19615283830392266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13120751576750153,0.0,0.2022266851663164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16320827877855498,0.18645273204808752,0.21366310191228446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20495945048321407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1712316166549243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255709735947717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4988105535659254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,29TwentyNine29,2020/01/23,"Empty That feeling when you need someone, need support, but there's none to be found... Music. Drawing. Cleaning those I do...

But it's not the same as a person, a friend;
It doesn't kill the lonely.",0.7061538461538461,3.1715319230769268,1.9750769230769265,94.79492307692308,88.74358974358975,3.12,20.620512820512825,3.1291,-0.42340410256410266,151,5,30,0,5,48,33,39,0.032,0.62,0.348,0.9296,0,2,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,0,2,4,1,0,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,8,8,4,1,2,3,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,1,2,2,2,6,2,1,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,22,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17607980776286955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38182545140412383,0.2690481382529813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3852742142025556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5164287495378088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3040683548099944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2950612818776833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3951768304469441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sicieroi,2020/01/23,"Warning signs for a history of abuse Hello everyone!

I know as a child that I may have suffered intense emotional abuse that was never physical, I say may because I tick a lot of boxes for PTSD (nearly all of them) but have memory issues around most of childhood.

Never been formally diagnosed for PTSD but have had therapy for trauma multiple times. However I am not sure if I was ever sexually abused. There is a lot of time I don't remember and I have a very unstable relationship with sex and self. Does anyone have any experience in recovering from trauma of any kind and figuring out what happened? Like are there any red flags in adult behaviour? 

Thanks.",4.976829268292684,7.081865747967483,6.3793577235772405,71.23342682926831,70.3821138211382,10.773658536585367,30.99918699186993,10.793553405168565,4.0724543089430885,529,23,89,18,10,179,85,123,0.20199999999999999,0.695,0.10300000000000001,-0.9258,1,0,0,0,3,0,11.0,0,0,1,0,4,7,0,0,5,0,15,2,0,0,5,24,18,7,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,2,1,1,0,3,3,6,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,4,2,9,4,18,12,4,11,0,1,1,1,7,5,0,6,7,66,12,0,0.0,0.5148062005343136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29547188670095165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10126980155708913,0.0,0.0,0.1289310584012018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08828815542766742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14700128563749118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12674333360764967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16291634470164448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310087059636819,0.0,0.13839304549659548,0.0,0.1416733466888306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12807433236802887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511668296643198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15082009119421386,0.07959580063947243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0707575293349966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2462617302810314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22340651263154132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3386013795059105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15549521204706632,0.16406626010532194,0.0,0.0,0.11517610539554647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15109121295968808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13650231071492305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13334171467039624,0.16562785010286069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16890524043731087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195014496125512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,alvyateiwaz,2020/01/23,"I've been paranoid for a while Hi, I'm BP2 and lately my paranoia has been out of control. The most recent belief is that when people look at me they see how crazy I am. Like you know these people you can tell within a few interaction that they are disabled. I'm still unsure if I am that crazy person everyone pity so do not tell them they're acting weird. One of the big thing is my difficulty to remain in place I will sometime sway or talk to myself/ I mouth what I am thinking or I'll even reply to people barely inaudible. I don't always realise it's not normal behaviour. Is it something you have experienced? Or how do i get out of that? Do you think it's simple paranoia or do you think my doubts are legitimate?",2.0592277992277985,4.125228783783786,3.8409652509652514,86.35364864864866,78.72972972972974,6.1204633204633225,22.05791505791505,7.1686216300943375,0.7566644787644785,572,17,115,7,14,192,95,148,0.151,0.831,0.017,-0.9365,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,5,3,1,6,4,0,1,4,0,19,1,1,3,0,21,28,11,0,2,7,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,10,3,0,1,5,0,0,1,3,3,0,1,2,3,20,1,12,25,2,13,1,1,2,0,14,7,0,7,6,83,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16527408625078754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22277775831362226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13119166548847672,0.0,0.0,0.18979719680476398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10377473005936218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10916054187978938,0.0,0.22406059976317247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09703941894207092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16679716979050885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1946128887033156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13459521150590947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4131101331869935,0.17343397078098224,0.20752358049103584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1961208058270852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15828049164420174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15291324102501305,0.1964477887562834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586242688075538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15964935194030347,0.34721857832507624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13195936055985455,0.38181766371137893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,CyCheyenne,2020/01/23,"Those with the dreaded obstacle of not keeping a job, how do you make money? I legitimately feel like I’m not in a place to have a job with a schedule. Right now, I just do uber eats but every time I go out, I have anxiety of something bad happening to me. 

What do you all do to make money?",3.260806451612904,3.4388355645161326,5.490483870967744,83.30572580645162,72.38709677419354,8.780645161290323,28.403225806451612,8.841846274778883,1.948696774193548,223,8,51,4,4,79,42,62,0.185,0.787,0.028999999999999998,-0.8594,2,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,2,0,0,3,3,0,1,5,0,6,1,0,3,1,13,13,2,0,0,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,1,1,0,2,1,2,2,0,0,0,1,7,1,9,13,1,8,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,4,36,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20149753777083973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2199250058066508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2695202911954221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2219228412013121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13318114242267445,0.18817045266637608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1496942535410957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329205813419379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5227606015340451,0.2341188374310804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286821844963273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3516383068084812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27519319430413725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2249391006246388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2027754299029623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15358856871222326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lotanemesis,2020/01/23,"having trouble on latuda hey folks, I just got out of inpatient for a little under a week and got perscribed latuda. I've been on it before when I was younger, but I was completely unprepared for the side effects of it, dont know how I seemingly missed them all back then.
I've been on it for about five days now and between the nausea and restlessness it renders me nigh-nonfunctional, completely so in the evenings after I take it with dinner. I've tried it a little bit after dinner and with dinner but havent been able to keep it down twice, and on every other night I've felt completely and utterly sick. I plan to take it a bit before dinner tonight just to make sure I have all my bases covered.
I dont want to stop taking it since before I went into inpatient I was having really severe episodes, but I really need to be functional immediately in order to work. Weed hasnt done much to help. I just really need to figure out some way to make it through this initial roadblock, at least until my intake appointment about a week from now when I can look at getting switched to lamictal or something if necessary. I'm down for any advice yall can think of, I'm honestly a bit scared to take it tonight due to how debilitating this has been for me. thanks in advance.",6.503452380952378,6.191525932539687,7.11650793650794,76.10071428571429,65.46825396825398,10.374603174603177,31.88888888888889,9.957137785484203,2.9543222222222214,1013,35,194,20,14,335,134,252,0.08800000000000001,0.845,0.067,-0.6219,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,1,4,14,7,0,2,9,0,19,5,0,5,3,38,42,18,0,4,8,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,14,11,4,2,6,0,0,2,4,4,0,2,12,2,19,3,45,29,8,39,0,1,1,0,4,18,0,4,17,137,33,1,0.11247971673314687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10991387740031028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07649006447237744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08648995920922728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2871358632519478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3683961560441181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35379852893561964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07254011207808242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1151058023415392,0.2636507806120597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07429179208077014,0.0,0.09476901255807982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10799816723887756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05876600956396394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17992060937833898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07539278315555778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09997714036322423,0.0,0.0,0.061815910717817925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254684512969088,0.0,0.0,0.0944546333152987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15016216867738014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08268553388094446,0.16680456946462555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055545945690819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21617216024102512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11261181869511468,0.0,0.0,0.1023973096711364,0.0,0.1270700638299754,0.0,0.09304438401498008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08659238120294148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09403807969722612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10601080187822146,0.0,0.3382829948394495,0.0,0.0,0.1035562110413442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07207246075069891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0763663442992881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06634345117818173,0.08928116364290986,0.18044888818281352,0.0,0.0,0.10426982429768776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0818865734086917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MeFrenchie,2020/01/23,"Alcohol and you Are you addicted to alcohol? Since I've been diagnosed bp2, I have been drinking much too much (6 intakes a day, I'm a woman).
I've read that many BPs and depressed persons use alcohol to help them overcome difficulties of the day, like interactions with people, conflicts, anxiety et all.
Is it your case?
How does it influence your married (or couple) life?
Thanks for your feedback!",5.10634703196347,7.300416369863014,5.965958904109591,73.95980593607307,70.23287671232876,9.798173515981736,35.454337899543376,10.125756701596842,4.191184474885844,317,17,53,9,6,104,57,73,0.135,0.762,0.10300000000000001,-0.3678,0,0,4,0,0,0,15.0,0,5,1,0,2,3,0,0,3,0,5,7,0,3,1,9,8,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,6,0,0,2,3,3,4,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,7,2,5,6,3,2,0,1,0,0,10,0,0,1,3,31,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2085062883636236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6132100194032039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14631664471875994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21163027928339165,0.0,0.24669926533956746,0.0,0.16473563738255692,0.1941292102004976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1673766535083695,0.0,0.0,0.187366171685928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12820040997704155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13509561181054794,0.09344206226478184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19391195189502425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2812024944306942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13259856392488395,0.16700458507711508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19131603102719366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15821578243331386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1760904446752831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1651909213899663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Derpyjersey,2020/01/23,"M26, Bipolar 1. Im in significant pain but I’m doing everything right [mixed/mania] Diagnosed 10 years ago, so not my first rodeo: I’ve been becoming increasingly agitated since the week of December 16. My doctor authorized me to increase my antipsychotic or take additional doses if I needed to but I chose not to. This past week my thoughts have been notably racing, I’ve felt intense sensory overload, and my sleep has been severely disrupted. 

Last week I was so on edge that I had to reassure my SO that she wasn’t annoying me and that she didn’t do anything wrong and that it’s just my mood. I’m a pretty kind and loving person ordinarily so it was hard for her to see me so tense. My energy levels were so high that we upped my antipsychotic finally which sadly isn’t doing the job. I dissociated quite badly on Tuesday night and would describe the feeling as “extreme psychological pain”, though still short of agony.  It was bad enough that even though I was in no danger, I knew my family or friends would panic if I called for help. My doctor and I made a plan yesterday so I’m hoping my mood will show significant signs of improvement by Monday. 

I barely slept this week. This morning, I looked and sounded unwell so my boss assumed I was physically sick and told me to work from home which I am doing productively aside from this lunch break. I love my job and hate being out but I am getting as much done as I can to compensate. I think I’m awesome at what I do and it kills me to be held up like this. 

2019 was the first year without a severe depressive episode since I was 10 years old. I was very depressed the last 4 months of 2018. On January 1, 2019 I woke up with more energy than I’d had in months. It continued to escalate into a (diagnosed) manic episode lasting 3-4 months, fizzling into what has pretty much been a year long upswing. Ive handled it amazingly and had no severe disruptions as a result, except for akathisia from the medication used to keep me in check. I am now healthier than I’ve ever been, even considering how much pain and discomfort I’m in currently. 

I have been sticking to going to the gym three-four days a week (forcing myself to lift today despite my mood), eating well and meeting my nutritional goals daily, forcing myself to get the sleep I need and abstain from napping, taking the medication as prescribed and going to therapy biweekly. I also am forcing myself to engage in healthy, supportive, and loving self talk rather than let my dark/agitated self control my inner dialogue. 

But I feel so terrible today. I mean awful. There is a pain deep inside me and all I can do is numb it with the sedatives my doctor gives me. I don’t really have anyone else that understands and I don’t want to put my stress on my loved ones. There’s nothing that they can do really anyway. My meds were adjusted today though so hopefully I’ll feel like myself again soon.",4.631066565169586,6.1588930763765575,5.902155544278108,76.62241711071644,70.27886323268207,9.198494459950943,29.035312526431532,9.606745405546679,2.7868445741351606,2314,88,424,54,42,776,287,563,0.172,0.664,0.16399999999999998,-0.8925,3,0,0,0,0,0,55.0,1,0,1,7,28,37,4,3,18,1,53,24,3,6,2,69,94,46,1,10,14,0,5,2,1,3,15,1,1,3,24,25,2,4,11,3,1,5,10,19,1,3,30,8,70,15,58,58,8,67,0,3,2,4,20,23,0,7,40,289,94,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05982589981671129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05397180704051285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047190645791242485,0.06915158108022694,0.05553860017993325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127028256449838,0.0,0.07453751088706226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0689149359715236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07569588378142836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04352552993657337,0.0,0.11625824514143725,0.13700205776478086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20723692551504624,0.0,0.06906580238388846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06905921924378172,0.05637931679457274,0.0,0.0,0.06973531254340433,0.0,0.08915314651768383,0.06104865758244756,0.0,0.0,0.06065574835578765,0.0,0.06362365799246184,0.0,0.10237506429936297,0.04821493954407555,0.06480107800482851,0.07393210354223936,0.0,0.11481408587656165,0.0,0.0,0.052142682349976814,0.0,0.07052158137765271,0.06474265183003751,0.07671235608255654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060457871461604175,0.06663249932279737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04523719010396048,0.0713069940710756,0.06769807116723385,0.13406579120496198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0729008872711102,0.0,0.1339470168766426,0.05998830014445637,0.07466779402097637,0.07028055148046065,0.0,0.16504031312349346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06901319786733706,0.0,0.06594450571780608,0.0,0.0,0.059726612999580236,0.05667468456056143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24364979397853626,0.0638607626331014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07351650219495766,0.07496628439869964,0.13597834696772956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616098571514588,0.0,0.14883896276791098,0.10008610510519786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06333488513105821,0.0,0.06475856931309762,0.0,0.07081950486461275,0.0,0.04573303710752487,0.0,0.2872568909951371,0.07918508852740824,0.0,0.0,0.06442693526852815,0.0,0.05892975041748645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13732338572431366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06784618944729348,0.0,0.07178402681441184,0.0,0.0,0.08647177000863178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05763617498940968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05378087018678033,0.0,0.14081378265425668,0.22873380156845585,0.0,0.1116570130885604,0.0,0.13507767721694694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05389767949665394,0.0,0.07730967931027137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07658696349234938,0.0,0.0,0.10148830899977963,0.054245984346609766,0.0,0.0,0.0771808089597462,0.0,0.0,0.04324492971048054,0.19892603605403694,0.05357959914792376,0.0,0.0,0.1919181646718529,0.06448968092743307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07025957225367571,0.0,0.058289775482812736,0.0,0.05568639903996285,0.039807408447939584,0.0,0.27068242864610603,0.0,0.060681703396984574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06505804614662176,0.0,0.04913359519581322,0.0,0.0,0.09588605856227546,0.0737898274629476,0.0,0.1738456416209226
bipolarreddit,fafa444,2020/01/23,"Anyone doing good with depakote EXPECT Weight gain, what med do you switch to and weight come off ? What’s your experience? Also I wonder if anyone switch to Topamax and did well with it. 
Depakote helped my mood more stable even there is bad ups and down. 
But I can’t take this weight gain anymore. My mental health really relates to my weight.",2.48696153846154,5.3435180615384645,2.646442307692311,90.56043269230771,83.76923076923076,4.480769230769232,17.35576923076923,5.985473137389443,-0.2392692307692305,274,6,50,2,8,83,49,65,0.048,0.752,0.2,0.8794,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,2,0,2,4,4,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,0,10,8,6,0,2,2,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,6,4,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,1,4,7,2,8,7,1,4,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,2,0,34,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13036615496887216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16167094373940344,0.2279732097049984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361139717115179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14042634717028815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076724455988911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1594637645068082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367325184539945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17328146697579186,0.0,0.0,0.10926813199014217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18107724727514612,0.0,0.16428470816076982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10443408130578358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12256992441130182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7940524077842424,0.14657356836113186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17678704250004926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,KevinsFolly,2020/01/23,"DAE deal with uncontrollable rage? I think I might be in a manic episode.  I've been really tense, obsessed with moving, having trouble focusing, and getting really, really angry.  When I have an anger outburst I just tear into people.  I am wondering if anyone else experiences this?  

I'm currently on Latuda, Gabapentin, and Buspar.  Seeing my Pdoc today and thinking about asking for something else that can control mania better.",5.979354207436402,9.069850575342468,6.5812524461839566,66.4527397260274,70.64383561643838,8.554990215264189,29.606653620352247,9.23628265651192,3.5056434442270064,344,14,44,8,7,112,61,73,0.263,0.701,0.036000000000000004,-0.9552,1,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,3,6,2,2,2,0,7,0,0,1,0,13,14,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,1,1,6,1,7,11,0,7,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,3,3,30,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15290846982879572,0.22406691563398087,0.0,0.0,0.20443939460967134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19340763535048835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2452719509828056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254529121335836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3653637248020404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21391425997316085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11425301474010467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.231988456182721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324257728313144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15160748706774413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4202824250561916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17426230195493075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16835311227303784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2802468971980264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2072862280245224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2371527443002713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MissSunshine87,2020/01/23,"Husband is Bipolar, here to gain insight...please! I know there’s subreddits for SO who are with someone suffering from Bipolar, but I wanted to come here to maybe understand a little more. 

My husband is 33 and just recently got diagnosed with bipolar disorder. He never really wanted to get help because he’s stubborn but the depression has gotten so bad, he finally did. Since the lows have been so bad recently, I’m having a hard time even wanting to talk or be around him. It’s not his fault he’s depressed which I get from experience (I’ve suffered with anxiety & depression my whole life). I’m just confused and plain exhausted. He’s wanting to go to a 28 day in patient program to see how this helps. I’m torn. I want him to be healthy and most of all happy. We all deserve that in life. I’m just not sold on the idea. We have two kids, I work, currently taking classes towards my BA and my grandma just died yesterday. Our family lives 10+ hrs away so I feel like I’m alone as usual. Adding this stress is bringing me down. Plus what happens when he comes back to real life? He’s going to have to work, be a dad, husband, etc. This particular program has a set schedule for patients. They tell them when to eat, when to take meds, etc. Their whole day is planned out...this isn’t real life and I don’t see how it’ll help. If anyone has insight to inpatient treatment or really any helpful advice, I’d appreciate it.",1.9435924617196685,4.353593777385161,3.558257950530038,86.35345288574793,81.19081272084806,6.7415312131919904,26.74782096584217,7.908726449838941,1.853313404004712,1121,49,219,21,30,371,168,283,0.205,0.68,0.11599999999999999,-0.985,1,1,0,0,0,0,44.0,3,0,3,4,19,15,1,2,8,0,20,10,0,2,3,45,48,21,1,6,11,4,2,1,0,1,9,0,0,1,10,14,1,1,5,0,1,5,5,13,0,1,5,4,21,2,32,39,8,30,0,6,2,0,28,9,0,5,16,130,31,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09639683576636868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10216867841304876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068841263907898,0.0,0.06708343256646776,0.0,0.07546478602961677,0.0,0.0,0.06897636840810831,0.0,0.0,0.08781686195479743,0.0,0.0,0.09268222785109388,0.07585355544292964,0.16473246958120344,0.06013437610439176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16995153894015366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12723847863172824,0.0,0.2548938909258613,0.10012476255205376,0.10238014872203877,0.0,0.11305815974664415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009406433980058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22003525691451306,0.06515550037341318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964958240715972,0.09299573675200573,0.0,0.04987895399266524,0.07047353086623785,0.0,0.1080631113563247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10307810999971677,0.0,0.11212687696650173,0.0,0.07889712310876841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08723333310828693,0.10501170643163596,0.08836845406933498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2644843729549017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11136060474443207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0542138839439867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.278709546912294,0.04819400587357627,0.09887034187233693,0.08710722492298421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09910430324680483,0.0,0.10957472533320003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07608274966035608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10828492784244856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22456406581794344,0.12639175762505614,0.0,0.19480428409414674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572179847558021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08160192704519817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08358339488656169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129999565000144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14834073306926074,0.07928882807631771,0.08622194148340401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05752193601315745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09636391405004474,0.10269514346983136,0.0,0.0,0.10864587922066266,0.0,0.2909231717895537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2202720001429509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14363257406704974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,tersephrase,2020/01/23,"Depressing Rant Because I Can't Sleep [Self-Harm] TL;DR: My new psychiatrist changed my meds then shit happened. And now I'm a miserable wreck.

I feel so empty inside right now, even in my high-functioning state. I want so badly to have a crying fit and pass out. I'm basically managing it through sheer will for months. 

It all began when my PDOC retired and her replacement took over Fall last year. My therapist and I had hoped the PDOC would change my ADHD drugs, and have me putted on anti-depressants to combat my seasonal depression. On my first visit she made me take a pregnancy test and a few tests before she would prescribe any of my meds. What's worst is she emailed the whole clinic, advising all the other PDOCs not to prescribe me any drugs until I completed them. The pregnancy test was negative but some results were not to her liking, so she wouldn't prescribe my ADHD drugs. The Ritalin withdrawal messed everything up from sleep, mood, stamina and how I processed information. So I never followed up with the PDOC because I fell in a deep depression where nothing really mattered. 

While still depress my health insurance changed because I made too much money at my new part time job which I needed because I'm in debt. Which meant spending a month without my anti-psychotics while paying out of pocket for therapy and additional drugs until the new insurance kicked in. Also, founded out how important my anti-psychotics were, when I debated with myself on what tools I should use to cut myself with.

And I am very ashamed for a string of bad decisions during this period that included: asking every patient in the waiting room at the PDOC's clinic, what was wrong with them, and then following up with a suggestion to consider sterilization. 

Life right now is just grey. I was passed over for a promotion at my other part-time job, and now I think they might let me go. In addition, I didn't go back to school as planned, so I don't know what happened to my scholarship. Trying to appear normal and okay is stressing me out...I'm sorry I sound like a jerk and self-entitled child. Thanks for reading my rant.",5.851779417056497,7.320260387909322,6.049466534724723,76.94450566750633,67.28715365239294,9.600899604174165,31.558924073407702,9.871247098662263,3.212684850665708,1702,69,296,39,28,542,220,397,0.172,0.775,0.053,-0.9935,4,0,4,0,0,1,49.0,0,0,3,3,20,21,3,3,19,1,22,12,3,6,3,57,49,31,0,8,5,0,1,2,0,6,9,1,1,1,12,23,0,1,7,1,5,12,9,15,0,1,13,3,51,5,48,29,8,66,0,5,1,0,16,26,1,4,29,203,63,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944867681309516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06470721599157833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11004913257242817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07564404082716061,0.0,0.0,0.0622181786148017,0.13512028745669105,0.19729866749187186,0.0,0.06885219428884877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2567901171952272,0.0,0.0848372083427615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08888066832770504,0.0,0.0,0.3484572683253889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3753400588742787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05344319770244419,0.0,0.06817387133023341,0.0,0.0727206448181854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04091275155809971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06882574682105456,0.0,0.08871846255587718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09197103573965652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14310467238623795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08600822286748701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08549050550788152,0.0,0.08036625586826827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16059011227766626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04446843783304165,0.06595603503747433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0827404555367075,0.0571522332413487,0.07906137683581625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1531263223402994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17975531384493182,0.0,0.0,0.08583739100001005,0.0,0.0,0.12917020331519852,0.0,0.05948139371206905,0.05999700191561631,0.06240617305585393,0.23444289354062375,0.0,0.0,0.07927893168890837,0.0776395485276749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17524481906669426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08134132013545871,0.0,0.0,0.08093629601684492,0.0,0.0518358362072497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13820091001098705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08188969203801076,0.0,0.0,0.16882273076313084,0.0,0.08305746824498215,0.0,0.0,0.16194566968559718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09057704560379712,0.0,0.0,0.06461834390716202,0.0,0.09268717116724223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060837558451020325,0.0,0.0,0.07449510780385554,0.0925326675094328,0.0939478542164363,0.0,0.05184667997527356,0.0,0.0,0.04718183700470717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08989887499494588,0.05493556585312443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06988406168123604,0.0,0.06676285357218707,0.04772540920433353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09033803734516434,0.0,0.07799859361461768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11495853561680801,0.08846719362281476,0.0,0.05210622035091242
bipolarreddit,mylilmuppet,2020/01/23,"Diagnosed in Childhood? Hello.  My 9yo daughter was diagnosed with bipolar last year.  My older daughter (11)  has anxiety and has been under the care of a psychiatrist and therapist for a couple years and does very well on Zoloft.  So when my younger daughter presented with similar symptoms for about nine months, (which in hindsight were actually depression symptoms), the psychiatrist began her on Zoloft, which triggered her mania, resulting in her diagnosis of bipolar disorder.  She now takes Lamictal and Abilify, though we are weaning her from Abilify to see if her symptoms can be managed with just Lamictal. I'm wondering if anyone here was diagnosed and began treatment as a child.",9.678981366459624,10.979419904347827,9.184099378881992,58.47826086956522,58.65217391304348,13.180124223602483,45.99378881987578,12.540900571622839,6.799248447204969,559,34,74,19,7,179,79,115,0.068,0.8859999999999999,0.047,-0.3626,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,1,0,0,0,8,3,0,0,5,0,9,10,0,2,0,15,16,11,0,2,3,3,0,0,0,0,10,0,0,1,2,9,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,6,1,10,2,17,9,0,17,0,1,1,0,12,6,0,3,11,58,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.16437494638631545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288575532756614,0.0,0.0,0.11777845713921785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17173769089805074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863777018665212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14507871753910714,0.5128947925341278,0.0,0.0,0.19304895182613985,0.0,0.1474045969822006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373025883946528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134448676671995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13422634524274796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5252267283619014,0.1266473074403283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19557396909488567,0.0,0.0,0.16549326120624822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13898216590591314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15144945111140645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826679997601894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21694205607045755
bipolarreddit,lostinthasauce9,2020/01/23,"Upped Dosage/Feeling Meh? Got recently diagnosed within the bipolar range, I've been titrating on Lamictal for a few weeks now. Didn't notice much the first few weeks, felt like I was ingesting air on 25 mg, took 50mg and didn't notice much had changed, still experienced a mixed state. I've been taking 100mg for a few days after a week of taking 50mg as instructed by my doctor, and my anxiety shot through the roof, still experiencing depressive symptoms too. I've also been experiencing relationship anxiety so the two might be mingled, but when did you discover your Lamictal was working for you? I know for me it's only been a few weeks and everyone is different but I was hoping for more improvement. Did you stick it out to a higher dose despite not feeling great on a lower dose? After a miss with Vraylar, this is the only other stabilizer I've taken.",5.794909090909092,6.850813945454544,6.9230303030303055,72.1445454545455,67.12121212121212,10.363636363636363,32.57575757575758,10.436869588844218,3.605666666666666,691,29,122,18,11,233,102,165,0.066,0.8370000000000001,0.098,0.8417,2,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,4,0,2,7,5,0,0,13,0,16,7,0,0,0,13,26,9,0,1,3,0,2,1,0,1,7,1,0,0,4,5,1,0,3,0,0,1,3,2,0,2,16,6,10,3,19,8,7,22,0,2,0,0,5,7,0,2,14,84,14,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11638924797852016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2226772448611314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15396329538969528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09386203603265908,0.0,0.1253544254425037,0.14772125808927802,0.0,0.1520595809509874,0.0,0.14896758904744178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13907085712146888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14718001118141155,0.0,0.13974237941520196,0.0,0.0,0.12379727347727568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164025960030889,0.16045969083274794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14455525461912125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07998563929625571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0711040805345781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543962173898757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21397906174059564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3313992499985303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22138128743146845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14370438038546046,0.1562567854480957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23245878648065546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15127303732679825,0.218857744641188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16170163241358648,0.0,0.0,0.14217260800472853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4669774986406733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10595572964657572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,cjlw,2020/01/23,My chances of having bipolar I have been worrying about having bipolar. My aunt has bipolar. And I think I have been noticing some symptoms within myself and so have others. What are my chances of having bipolar?,4.5150000000000015,7.544074973684214,4.262368421052631,81.4240789473684,75.57894736842105,4.852631578947369,33.1842105263158,5.985473137389443,2.143136842105264,171,9,25,1,4,52,23,38,0.063,0.8420000000000001,0.095,0.0516,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,10,5,0,0,0,4,11,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,7,0,4,9,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,27,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5826307221000049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5319041547158861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32790871125158205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5197069260136257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,willjerauld,2020/01/23,"Seroquel Withdrawal/Taper - My Experience and Support Hey guys, I've been going through a terrible Seroquel withdrawal recently and wanted to share my story and support. If anyone's withdrawing from Seroquel or wants to share their story regarding it, I encourage that :)

Staying optimistic through the taper but it's been very rough on my mind. Thanks for watching!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjiUbPGiJYg&t=1s",9.109677419354838,13.669026016129036,6.655080645161295,61.15262096774197,71.09677419354837,9.551612903225807,38.395161290322584,9.516144504307137,5.512251612903227,351,19,38,10,8,101,45,62,0.031,0.7020000000000001,0.267,0.8966,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,1,0,0,7,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,9,8,6,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,2,5,6,7,6,0,4,0,0,1,0,6,1,0,2,1,25,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2786032902241348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1797932381086194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25152522630856106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461345005113687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2546019064516276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2596308359285555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25388762733557363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2740693609013328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5835825271012282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23673334288140424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21216149586708227,0.3033271846809804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,the_codemaker,2020/01/23,"Frustrated by mental health representation in media Anyone else get super turned off by portrayals of mental health problems in media?

I can't count the number of times I'll be watching or reading something and come across a character sloppily portrayed as having ""split personalities"", self-harm tendencies, ""crazy but with amazing abilities"", whatever, and have to disengage and maybe miss out. Always leaves me feeling frustrated, isolated >:-(

Conversely, I'd be happy to hear of any healthy & realistic portrayals ya'll might have come across!",11.44337078651686,12.46477019101124,10.046382022471914,54.73878651685396,54.95505617977528,13.861573033707867,43.642696629213475,13.023866798666859,6.619924044943818,453,23,57,15,5,141,71,89,0.154,0.672,0.17300000000000001,0.7168,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,1,0,7,2,0,2,0,7,2,0,0,0,12,14,6,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,0,7,0,0,1,1,0,2,1,4,0,0,0,3,2,3,15,11,0,9,0,1,1,0,3,6,0,2,1,31,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15672879675145002,0.2040856212035483,0.0,0.12808977787532022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13170416852606293,0.19299484751115803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3245071702442157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15734879054939066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09523937421126234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09840918769764402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20051040378425936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40043111308657797,0.2122929545755552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19944373654255215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892307489899814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3796407642434784,0.1998178829688108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16446678467841144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18023299716396912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884087940816032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964982874310473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14500705353680665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10983296061338796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20487922178651294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Its_Haleeyy,2020/01/24,"Getting off abilify experiences? I'm getting increased depression and ""my face looking expression less."" Also restlessness and loss of appetite. 

I'm scared though that only being Lamictal is gonna make me worse too. Is anyone on only on one medication and feel okay?",5.3889130434782615,8.7207452826087,6.467565217391307,65.07960869565218,74.43478260869566,9.76695652173913,35.286956521739135,9.888512548439397,4.929761739130433,217,12,29,7,5,72,38,46,0.267,0.66,0.073,-0.89,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,3,5,0,2,0,1,3,2,1,1,0,5,11,5,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,0,1,0,2,2,1,4,9,2,4,0,2,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,18,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22971432532495398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20085240709926647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474086547267345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2809863578948485,0.0,0.0,0.1452426128575756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3001533277337975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24121828859762864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19174210977853254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2893749157689652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1946485459775396,0.4369342870165702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2875881174703823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2822224087440051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2927330602870065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jabphoto99,2020/01/24,"A little poem I am addicted  
To my sickness  
I am in love  
With my illness  
Terrified  
Full of lies  
Smoking   
Cutting  
This is only  
Half the story  
I've wrote myself  
I'm burning up  
I'm burning out  
Two blue socks  
The urge to shout  
Plain white walls  
Bendy pens  
I miss the safety  
I want the end  
But now I'm here  
And there's the sun  
And everyone  
Who shook me dry  
And guess what  
50mg later  
I'm still right here  
Ready to die",-1.817,-0.3548013666666669,0.6511111111111134,99.30000000000004,112.66666666666666,3.333333333333334,15.0,5.46131890053228,-0.7856666666666667,327,9,74,3,18,109,67,90,0.187,0.7,0.113,-0.7269,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,5,4,1,1,6,0,3,4,0,0,0,9,12,4,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,2,1,3,8,1,8,11,1,12,0,1,2,1,3,7,0,1,4,40,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3406151258078841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32427234862305315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2767367464791241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2985580556200066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3441973916725079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3131556104216259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2819970873491435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376312625601473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26682942279673544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2495218794935321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3052169109106933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18429029721610254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,tickedofftaco,2020/01/24,"ECT and ketamine I had a failed course of ect treatments a while back and was looking to give ketamine a shot as medications have had no effect on me. Ketamine was mixed in with the anesthetic during ect, too, so I don’t know how effective ketamine would be by itself. I was looking to do the nasal spray for insurance purposes. Any thoughts?",6.477,7.073814507692307,6.359807692307693,78.40894230769231,65.46153846153845,9.576923076923078,36.25,9.516144504307137,3.409076923076924,273,13,50,5,4,86,48,65,0.086,0.865,0.049,-0.34,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,3,4,1,0,0,5,0,10,2,1,3,0,9,15,6,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,6,3,4,0,9,7,0,4,0,1,2,0,1,2,0,0,2,37,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2526207455318997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2856470069305392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3563597324559199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20415699161696815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6239032494388829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3742293988237327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29491550126142685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2638904123452349,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,limwans,2020/01/24,"I dont know how to deal with it Im tired. Tired of feeling great, tired of feeling sad, tired of beeing the light of the room, tired of hiding in the corner. I love all women, i really do. I love my wife and all other women i see. I can be like a magnet to them, I give so much attention so nice words. Then I wake up and feel horrible. I dont want to see them anymore. I jus want my wife.....repeat

I am on lithium snd depakote, the last one since 6 days.",-0.7763454545454529,1.0536856200000029,1.997454545454545,96.9337272727273,87.8,4.836363636363637,16.090909090909093,6.1124844417494595,-0.6133999999999995,342,7,84,3,11,119,62,100,0.22699999999999998,0.5820000000000001,0.191,-0.2796,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,2,0,3,6,0,0,5,0,6,8,1,1,2,14,17,6,0,2,0,1,3,1,0,0,5,0,1,2,2,3,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,6,15,5,12,16,3,8,0,1,2,2,9,5,0,0,4,50,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13127206676593073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08536548547088084,0.13646411865031285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3102652620318385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20078554073351687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12697807268968708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14593460770101865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14297860685958175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07274520368221972,0.10789641904864973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06466761867048018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23893198977895444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09730465722975457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08969501165019061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08479741242748835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21095803310062408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10949499227721354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7606794857931404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561464617408646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kingkille82,2020/01/24,"Need help, anyone know whats going on?  I just came out of a PHP program that was very successful in treating my SI urges (that's why I went into the program in the first place). Since leaving I've had issues with low energy, extreme restlessness, lack of focus/concentration that are really plaguing me in my graduate studies. Its like I have the low energy of depression, but cant sit still or focus. My diagnosis is BP1 and I take lithium, vraylar, and cymbalta. I'm also on the final stages of tapering off zyprexa (the drug from HELL).

Anyone have any idea what is going on?",4.085855855855853,5.955290918918923,5.591171171171169,76.94369369369369,72.24324324324324,8.897297297297296,28.54954954954956,9.444778638647367,2.8217279279279284,456,18,81,11,9,154,81,111,0.08,0.831,0.08900000000000001,0.2279,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,2,3,8,1,1,6,0,8,1,0,0,0,13,16,5,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,6,0,0,2,0,0,4,1,5,0,1,4,0,8,3,15,12,1,21,1,3,0,0,1,12,1,1,4,52,14,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17689883152705105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504280679079269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3093455845646045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2530014108883345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19052491336327032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25652941802038004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24232100880265095,0.0,0.18815821396497434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2514336076334265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14827011563557324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24971531676118716,0.0,0.23088221054193184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12156935779036138,0.0,0.0,0.23422584098503899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10807036716736527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16402188490662475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23111380698745454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417106070130342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18298437860659866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17665586994003638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16631982751884827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18251860484723395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20506072675444645,0.19960454259745225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,crypticcalamity,2020/01/24,"It's the little victories I finished off a tube of toothpaste. On my own!! It feels like a big deal to me since in the bouts of depression/mania I didn't take care of myself.

Also, finally on a med regime that is keeping me stable. Vraylar, Lamictal and Buspar. Life is a little bland but it's amazing to have level emotions. I am growing to like bland.",0.4292957746478905,2.8888590422535247,2.801535211267609,87.6228661971831,92.38028169014083,5.093521126760563,22.592957746478877,6.742157984588678,1.0167678873239434,276,11,52,4,10,94,52,71,0.026000000000000002,0.769,0.205,0.9122,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,6,0,5,1,0,0,0,4,9,3,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,7,4,10,8,1,11,0,0,0,0,1,8,0,0,4,36,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2084469043122444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2657566677747927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.268725400226189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2932034726728493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131795755365086,0.1862130516034147,0.0,0.285536448707456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2316834685686832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18410939044636065,0.2546871936853933,0.522492568396086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2895306043573921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21561774562774585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19598124460617966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Foghat42o,2020/01/24,"Latuda and Depakote So I just had my meds change around to depakote, Latuda, and, Lamictal. My whole body has been swollen for a week now. My eyes are always red. I am so disoriented that I doze off and wake up and forget where I'm at and what day it is. I've been seeing people out of the corner of my eyes. I went to a NP because I can't get an appointment with a pyschiatrist for another month or so. Anyone had a similar experience? I'm terrified. My mood has been up and down. Even more so than when I was manic and depressed. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.",1.5530747126436781,3.7961445948275876,3.7437931034482763,85.43885057471266,81.5,6.9701149425287365,22.597701149425287,8.07648339933343,1.3262666666666667,447,15,92,9,12,153,80,116,0.10800000000000001,0.8340000000000001,0.057999999999999996,-0.6923,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,10,3,0,0,6,0,14,5,4,0,0,14,19,13,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,10,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,7,4,11,1,15,10,2,15,0,1,4,0,0,9,0,1,5,68,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23362659558757254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1989340414872046,0.0,0.0,0.16258286743785666,0.2506966406115201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1671705715137457,0.0,0.0,0.21283224008936788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457411901060884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2655644227169763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2529153576370446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15418707654740155,0.0,0.2059195944197685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15791034648624916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2338665028476985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12490963903213978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26358698019924465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2655644227169763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19083169082404464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16574824329387644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905161214661547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19177587225939435,0.0,0.0,0.2216299219839403,0.0,0.2669247236568369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16983585349695254,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lstarr91,2020/01/24,"Here comes the mania! It's nearly 1am. I have to be up at 5am to go to work. I cant sleep again for the 3rd or 4th night. It's either this or I sleep 12 hours. I find myself making plans to get healthier, eat better, exercise more and so on. I just know tomorrow I'm going to .come home and crash and hate myself again when I wake up at 7pm and cant fall back asleep after a 3 hour nap. This constant roller coaster is driving me nuts! I want to go see a therapist and a psychiatrist but I have a little over a month left before I have health insurance. All I know right now is that tomorrow is going to be a long day. 😩",-0.4815217391304358,1.3922353405797097,2.363217391304349,94.50569565217393,86.89855072463769,5.7089855072463775,16.446376811594202,7.0316486544052195,-0.16407884057970978,479,10,116,7,15,168,91,138,0.055,0.9179999999999999,0.027000000000000003,-0.5162,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,3,8,2,1,0,8,0,10,7,4,1,1,18,24,10,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,5,7,1,0,3,3,0,8,2,1,0,0,0,1,13,1,16,22,3,33,0,0,1,0,0,10,0,2,15,71,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13053789715243802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14445650542812932,0.0,0.0,0.15014230131704465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2924729945949585,0.0,0.1834543775645577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10948361840439877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17371076740501032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15516105412771933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0886945881655764,0.0,0.3859227599288909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16760662397032802,0.0,0.1804510000276512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17028695115689546,0.0,0.334366328840186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18659550933875169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18444888498706905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17014794419844842,0.0,0.1502356367805788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11331866675746832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13550385989206312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15931184308335405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14497737300442082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352797835561406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33977283881260983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1971088772515089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10013109828951502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12359008138656825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Wowwzaa,2020/01/24,I don't even know what I want out of life I'm in a deep depressive rut and I'm honestly at a loss for what I should do. I feel completely alone constantly and alienated at work or out and about. I haven't found enjoyment in any of my old pastimes for awhile now. I hardly get any sleep because I have loud neighbors and also my mind is full of intrusive thoughts. I just feel like at any moment I'm going to just snap either towards others or myself. I'm constantly stressed and yet apathetic at the same time. Maybe deep down I've just accepted that I have to be completely stressed out in order to live life. Or maybe part of me knows that I'll eventually end up committing suicide and has given up on trying to fix anything. I don't know why I posted other than to get these thoughts out of my head.. [A song if you care to listen.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luM6oeCM7Yw),3.7945714285714303,5.519613342857145,4.456428571428571,85.37607142857144,72.71428571428572,8.200000000000001,27.357142857142854,8.841846274778883,2.0179142857142858,705,26,143,14,14,225,104,175,0.126,0.795,0.078,-0.8488,0,1,0,0,0,1,23.0,0,1,0,2,8,9,0,2,4,0,10,4,2,0,1,32,28,11,1,3,8,0,3,1,1,1,2,2,1,0,7,10,0,0,9,1,0,1,3,4,0,0,4,5,17,5,31,22,4,30,0,2,0,0,2,19,0,4,9,90,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14440524960451154,0.0,0.11150043697772304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2844472486447755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11473727727043252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08499395045573188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14215603097777618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29237498962771585,0.3013440428993143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12008904135638078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12349173026826987,0.0,0.0,0.09209080944055656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14099786574909534,0.09960731579699647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1528754898720961,0.0,0.0,0.1456906405610246,0.0,0.07924008564670867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12490000717692892,0.0,0.14309324485951752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2298777736356101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969640907280732,0.06811742655101459,0.0,0.12311738541342762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2801481211174845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14078242717163694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14630612113882024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15098682275684328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335333816448419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13952858780807548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31942836448786743,0.0,0.0,0.15251148668411296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22138034821033,0.08130152661986338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09466238817999946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08223818471677748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12581198829994036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10150516788343708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,L1nktheb3ast,2020/01/24,"Mind Issues Hey everyone;

T/W: Suicidal Ideation
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I’ve been on Lamictal since the beginning of November and it was working really well for the most part until the last week or so.  I had my last childhood pet die, I ran out of money, and I haven’t been sleeping very well so the depressive state that I’m in right now is actually coming out.  I haven’t had serious suicidal ideation since about the beginning of August, but the last few days I’ve found myself wanting to be alive less and less.  I don’t know if I just really need a few days away from everyone or not, but I’m fixating on things again and idk how to handle it.  My partner has been really, really great about helping me in these situations but lately they’ve been ignoring me or not noticing that I’m around and it really sucks.  Idk if this is the place for this but I think other people might be or have experienced this from a BP II standpoint and I don’t know what to do",3.346701754385961,4.88761675789474,4.938421052631579,82.21728070175442,73.52631578947368,9.27719298245614,25.824561403508767,9.725611199111238,2.3702877192982448,744,25,152,20,15,251,106,190,0.113,0.8009999999999999,0.085,-0.3401,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,1,11,7,1,0,9,0,19,1,1,1,0,34,33,20,3,4,13,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,12,10,0,1,4,0,1,2,6,4,2,0,9,1,13,3,21,21,6,27,0,1,0,0,3,10,1,8,14,106,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.1295714056694156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11819986917535072,0.0,0.0,0.1247485615293143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143758113288986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17126063484348095,0.0,0.11436081822395767,0.0,0.13780178334460333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2537486324136693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14558335973619904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14638734508829185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08899776644912956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13858491283283048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459417666954519,0.3246934482071189,0.14977847862046098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14085563943244195,0.13406713369560666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09845262036042766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15116773602070002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14378478166268427,0.0,0.09205100066208953,0.0,0.13872392645860884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4253024101400419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133910136535992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21966936386690172,0.14924714955087853,0.13287310221764048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2904734388542217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08821127982909419,0.08507827620675802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10955510553954048,0.07831543983729146,0.0,0.1065058705510546,0.0,0.23876531916545246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09666339177994668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Odramabama,2020/01/24,"Being punted around from specialist to specialist. So I’ve been struggling with some trauma. Was told by my pdoc that I should find a PHP and discuss it. Was told by the folks at the PHP to discuss that with a one on one therapist. Individual therapist says that they recommend a trauma therapist but will see me until I get an appt. Now, trauma therapist recommends inpatient but will see me until I figure something out. 

I’m not doing inpatient, it’s insanely expensive and a large portion of my trauma comes from a horrible inpatient experience. I think I figured out what I’m gonna do. I’ve been living with my parents while getting treatment but I decided to move home and find a long term therapist there. 

It’s still just so fucking infuriating. Like, I understand where they’re coming from. Working with trauma patients can be really tricky and it’s easy to really fuck things up worse than before. I just can’t believe that I’m once again being redirected. Because I guess I’m more fucked up than I originally thought? 

I already struggle with accepting I have bipolar, now PTSD is being thrown on top of that too? Big part of me is ready to just throw in the towel, open up some credit cards and kill myself when I max them out.",4.9235216572504665,6.657844949152543,5.9233333333333364,75.94756120527309,69.84745762711864,9.481732580037665,30.48399246704332,9.861636050157227,3.1954404896421837,992,41,175,25,18,328,138,236,0.21,0.6970000000000001,0.092,-0.9882,2,0,1,0,0,1,21.0,0,0,2,2,14,14,4,2,10,0,18,4,0,1,0,38,38,14,1,1,7,1,0,1,0,4,1,1,1,0,11,17,0,0,9,0,2,4,2,11,0,2,7,3,22,3,33,23,6,30,0,0,2,3,8,15,3,3,12,123,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193793726952587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09630317794774408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06594555298205391,0.0,0.09205325274876484,0.12188186846229565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18637506434096004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058208447662888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977492074870925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3000321327031643,0.11303921990436785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11917251885899625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10851340829687453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11968519456351595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05285130691696378,0.0,0.09552496406225824,0.09573593797971844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11497827040400738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11520822017700875,0.1466112000752808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12012114071629587,0.11714844958158918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264566866520246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13860581731967675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08602911595374019,0.0,0.0,0.1724109837848356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08328228591213112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08639272582857943,0.0,0.0,0.22618654850816436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6280268667334526,0.07187001675760778,0.06931740644206535,0.0,0.08588287403874474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20674134304732653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11261924482151225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07875636313781972,0.0,0.11024471067803356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SakuraCha,2020/01/24,"How do you know if you're bipolar? My doctor recently asked me if I am bipolar because I was seeking help for depression and anxiety and mentioned feeling manic every few months. I'm not sure if its actual mania, as I dont think it lasts for a week, just a couple days, but I do think completely differently, get short with people and do just completely absurd things I would never do. I did message a therapist office near me but I have yet to set up an apointment. I'm scared they wont be able to help me and I'm not going to be able to open up to them. Also I just started my period for this month and it's always the worst fucking thing because I feel so horrible that I start ruminating on self harm. I cant stop thinking about how I want to die, but not in a suicidal way, just stop existing all together. Bipolar runs in my family, my sister said my grandma and mom had it but weren't officially diagnosed, dont know how that works, and my dad was taking medication for it and killed himself when I was like 7. Idek if these types of posts r allowed on this subreddit but its helping me focus on something other than wanting to tear my skin off.",6.656794871794872,5.57311438034188,7.697905982905983,74.60403846153848,65.45299145299145,11.047863247863248,34.457264957264954,10.317481424215053,3.3811264957264964,911,35,180,19,12,311,144,234,0.15,0.755,0.095,-0.9616,2,0,1,0,0,1,18.0,0,1,2,1,12,8,2,1,6,0,19,8,1,4,3,45,39,24,3,7,16,3,3,1,0,2,6,1,0,1,14,10,0,2,7,0,0,2,9,6,0,0,7,4,28,2,25,28,3,30,0,1,0,1,15,11,1,4,15,127,42,3,0.24498050746738484,0.0,0.11953281821255765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09795541165632406,0.10192170359607153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09370470883570672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11451185227218992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493378435252558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2568574011303505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355331359544696,0.0,0.07899608029237087,0.0,0.10550067605410224,0.12432502914011265,0.12712554465853712,0.12797624443016428,0.0,0.12537396505289974,0.0,0.0,0.2871153302321599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10320332173195998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154729098667131,0.0,0.12386950541615532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11324026579514583,0.06399610197707109,0.0,0.06961403398586241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24630790528187946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13551731731539315,0.0,0.1346348801103165,0.09984590534934468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05984255075257833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1233960440084224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14345910475079904,0.19554110381009326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944720349640384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08491931897766526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11731180364337825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209443482277042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11651628128660488,0.0,0.12263411258496015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12778404877594765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09429898165654968,0.0,0.0,0.17339846409316706,0.0,0.0,0.2048146737437139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13398445661199546,0.0,0.11544561453139647,0.0,0.09209742670757136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14222062552029865,0.16275416356923936,0.23546042595864144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14449585053034758,0.09722706196179964,0.09825429304696084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08917436357000909,0.0,0.0,0.08701356183534631,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,evior21,2020/01/24,"Owning other people's feelings Had an appointment with my therapist the other day (had already been feeling kinda down). Had some issues with family and felt guilty (like existential guilt) that my anger had caused pain/upset. Their pain and sorrow was my fault, because I felt angry. So I shouldn't have felt angry. (And I don't know how to deal with these types of emotions so prompted urges for self-harm). We discussed how, in this instance, I'm taking ownership of others feelings while denying my own. And how this is a common theme for me. We spoke about how I needed to work on not owning other people's ""stuff"" while allowing myself to feel my own.

Elements of my childhood have made this ingrained into my character as well... So the idea of working on not owning other's ""stuff"" feels as if it's going to fundamentally change who I am. The idea that I'm allowed to have feelings without worrying about how they will impact others is foreign.

Owning other people's ""stuff"" is kinda what keeps me tethered... When suicidal ideation kicks in (unwanted, unbidden, and unrelenting), the thought (guilt) of how that act would impact others is, in large part, the reason I don't. But that is me owning their feelings... Which I'm not supposed to do?

The rational side of me tells me that I'm thinking in extremes. That my therapist was not telling me to be unthinking of others and there is an element of balance that I'm not grasping. (Also tells me that any of the unwanted, unbidden, unrelenting plans that come to mind are not sure to succeed...) -as an aside I do have an appointment with my pdoc soon (and most likely a med change)... SO is aware of my current mental state and I've shared that I'm not doing so hot with a friend at work as well (so I've got a pretty good safety net, but worried I may slip it...)

TL;DR- I'm questioning a part of myself that's the main tether for me when I have suicidal thoughts.

--just needed to write this out so it wasn't gobbledygook floating around in my head. Thanks if you read it 😊 though I apologise if it negatively impacted your mood...",4.456565893986056,6.197058349246234,5.16031285459556,80.9328554060626,71.03517587939699,7.949554222726537,27.66283028043443,8.558390810932622,2.099019192737883,1645,59,299,28,31,531,195,398,0.084,0.861,0.055,-0.8842,2,0,0,0,0,0,77.0,2,2,3,5,25,17,1,2,17,0,32,2,1,11,1,77,63,36,2,9,14,0,11,2,1,4,1,1,0,0,36,19,0,1,19,1,0,3,13,6,2,0,16,12,38,10,48,42,12,26,0,1,0,0,18,13,0,9,11,228,74,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008558231159212,0.07308794550131377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062151221317938626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08136025563974601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05571308406702488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09388706633923168,0.1933659876335219,0.07872805032396041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058941727808597875,0.09422345451160882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10280622541368373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08615836124324606,0.0,0.32348173804965635,0.0,0.2632584260568581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07061096774148712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05194145617943341,0.07665715736886695,0.07309632754440773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09379686363012256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20634595836201455,0.0,0.0953918478468362,0.0,0.08123540515112647,0.0,0.0,0.05022788743210512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08930122418165908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08647944537963907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10151840394106773,0.0,0.09210390380555887,0.0,0.09228213488274524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13553535070405442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19449984302146792,0.0,0.0,0.1979421242137994,0.0,0.1900837876897712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09298080500010578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10238247206871952,0.0,0.09141897857461932,0.0,0.0,0.09396850657167773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09534413091582082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3138736373429536,0.1999409424614152,0.0,0.08613799524256954,0.0,0.06871709883299383,0.0,0.23964779808879536,0.08414354250677883,0.0,0.21223152761911254,0.0,0.05856174249484074,0.08979438265485751,0.14511364496527626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1643488063120279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08810079172663303,0.0,0.19960829875084454,0.18563058637771004,0.0,0.06492385012488901,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Beemoeee,2020/01/24,Can loss of appetite be a symptom of (hypo)mania? I normally get manic around this time of year and I was wondering if loss of appetite could also be a symptom? I’m having a lot of the classic symptoms but I’ve also noticed that I’m not eating...I’ll eat breakfast and that’ll be it for the whole day. Should I be concerned?,1.5533766233766249,3.867845939393941,3.6416883116883128,85.7468181818182,82.03030303030303,5.58961038961039,27.61038961038961,6.868970318607317,1.511457142857143,256,12,49,3,7,87,44,66,0.068,0.932,0.0,-0.4291,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,2,3,2,0,0,5,0,10,5,0,0,0,11,14,6,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,4,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,3,0,7,6,2,4,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,3,3,37,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3441119583527684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19152978448252875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17178036902892838,0.0,0.0,0.13875443649286776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2201529324231526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11240738824893533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18291347605419528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21080205678402408,0.0,0.24495055792155074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6708720353202572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254561340769475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2402081318769451,0.0,0.0,0.2333218135512689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13855003072336627
bipolarreddit,chnlmb,2020/01/24,I just found out that I probably have bipolar disorder. How do I tell my mom? Went to my psychiatrist and described how I’ve been feeling and she takes a long silence and says “have you ever considered that you might have bipolar disorder” and I’m a little taken aback because that’s the same armchair diagnosis that my boyfriend gave me a few days ago when describing how I felt to him. She prescribed me mood stabilizers and said to see her within the month to see how I felt. All that said I’m pretty sure that I’m bipolar II if I actually analyze my life and my moods. But how in the world am I supposed to tell my mom this? Should I even? I don’t live at home anymore I’m in college. But she pays for my antidepressants and might wonder why they’re costing more (adding on the mood stabilizer). I’m still processing and I’m just not entirely sure about how to tell my family about this.,3.1924767225325894,5.009280687150838,4.4896983240223465,84.12825325884545,74.53072625698323,8.125288640595903,27.575791433892004,8.841846274778883,2.1217058472998143,709,28,145,15,15,234,101,179,0.032,0.9079999999999999,0.059000000000000004,0.5329999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,2,0,0,14,5,0,0,7,0,10,4,0,6,4,34,29,18,0,2,6,2,3,0,0,3,4,3,1,0,8,9,0,0,5,0,2,1,2,0,0,0,9,8,26,2,15,17,4,16,0,0,2,0,16,8,0,4,7,94,34,2,0.0,0.0,0.13252704575760604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12038380677524704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346830395226095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08278606460620785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0875836218381632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3112908364026777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08969856865230284,0.12284428350947595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12802579106314507,0.0,0.0686675837553968,0.0,0.260790075109975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14890424687164924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1362244703952905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09592377959070147,0.0,0.1361132689839841,0.1199191679917503,0.12018401830494485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28813736604674883,0.0,0.31810864370061337,0.1083990371834576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13816350429668514,0.14642181537574595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25836517154840666,0.10799836576242568,0.0,0.0,0.2164395656264418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10845483066761934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.255991056988398,0.0,0.10210919533184594,0.0,0.3561012359582684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12589350359136936,0.12254377324253342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14727579168770694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,throwaway16385022735,2020/01/25,"Help for parent of 18 yo with bipolar How to support parent of bipolar 18 year old?

I’m looking for some advice, on how to support a family member of mine. This family member confides in me. I try to just listen, but this situation is really wearing down my family member. Let’s say his name is Johns 

John has an 18-year old daughter. Let’s call her Anna. She went to college last fall, but dropped out after 2 months. She’s been living at home with her parents ever since. 

Anna doesn’t have a job. She doesn’t have many friends in the area (most have gone on to college.) Anna had a girlfriend, but because she’s 18 and the girlfriend is a few years younger, the girlfriend’s parents forbid her from seeing or communicating with Anna. Anna reports this has caused her great mental distress, and we are pretty sure she still sneaks out to see her. 

Anna harms herself primarily by hitting herself with household objects. She also hits her head against walls. She was very recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She’s been taking lithium. 

She demands that her dad (John) stay home with her all the time. He can’t - he has to work. But he feels guilty that he doesn’t. He tells me that she will give him the finger when she asks him to stay home but he has to go work. 

The other night, Anna was having a rough time. She was very upset, yelling and hitting her head against a wall. She wanted to go to the ER. She wanted to be admitted to the hospital. The parents took her. Her dad told me that as soon as she was there, her demeanor changed. She seems to like when people are paying attention only to her. John told me they were taking silly selfies, telling crass jokes, laughing it up and having a great time while they were waiting for a medical professional to come talk to her. After a few hours, the staff sent her home because she didn’t meet any criteria for staying. This made Anna rage again. 

The following day, she slept until late afternoon. I guess she started having another “episode.” She asked to be taken to the local mental health residential clinic, and she asked for a multiple night stay.

John is beside himself. He thinks this is his fault. I’m so frustrated for him. I certainly want Anna to be healthy and well, to be happy and productive. John himself admits that much of her behavior seems to be attention-seeking. I see her acting very manipulative. 

John confides in me. I don’t want to tell him what to do - it’s not my place. I’m always conflicted - on one hand, I want to be a good listener and reassure him that he’s doing a good job. On the other hand, listening to this makes me upset. I know mental health manifests different for different folks. As someone who as self harmed a lot, and as someone who has manic-depressive cycles, this behavior really baffles me. 

But I would love to read some perspectives on this. What have other parents done in this situation? What could John try?",3.5302070108619006,5.8401053039568405,4.4092467202708425,82.86807095500072,75.09712230215827,7.1665397094089425,26.72929891381013,8.124751697461798,1.8995164762307803,2303,88,418,39,51,742,261,556,0.073,0.782,0.145,0.9905,10,0,0,0,1,0,77.0,1,0,2,2,13,26,2,3,27,0,48,16,7,6,4,62,99,29,0,7,9,9,5,1,4,2,8,5,4,1,25,19,0,3,8,2,1,10,7,9,2,1,20,14,70,17,70,65,8,61,0,0,4,1,99,19,0,8,28,280,95,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0618877965398921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0506469859800395,0.052697722420920606,0.0,0.0,0.04306827908680766,0.06640965960394925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17762204492364642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0772138214665413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06466957449368198,0.0,0.0,0.06505993430208859,0.0669973988016631,0.05455535018318162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05056585643521943,0.0,0.0,0.04084423007769046,0.0,0.05454819872273835,0.06428116529099155,0.0,0.132337988230264,0.0725845442119382,0.0,0.0,0.06481114709409845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05728788184463711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17911276410983898,0.0,0.032022820373505186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048930540716537664,0.0,0.0,0.060754315249907376,0.0719866507358676,0.10624061048373287,0.0,0.13964863341100844,0.06976790078173034,0.0,0.0,0.0674186353761556,0.0,0.0,0.12999485495624175,0.13463899477006308,0.0,0.0,0.04245044697599025,0.0,0.25411068847177354,0.0,0.06236976574402552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12569548914171333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03480589163003772,0.051624449153811855,0.07144183071669159,0.0,0.0,0.12952356633903428,0.0,0.030941065712727905,0.0,0.055923767313833916,0.0,0.05318335834498382,0.0,0.0,0.053843035863229485,0.05716006363473975,0.059926753005055275,0.042274942722875984,0.06420922548847262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0638008416810469,0.1914728246669567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050551405867895534,0.0,0.04655668254681915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11886654218830606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329136327527083,0.0,0.042915748354891994,0.04816722831156159,0.0,0.0,0.4219395498654507,0.0,0.0,0.043906788659987685,0.0,0.066168994115132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06443193190002168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06334964944520226,0.0,0.08114485623964683,0.0,0.06253321389271183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05036455454383836,0.0,0.0,0.15140343418367996,0.11531107840149266,0.06606962103875019,0.0,0.0,0.052389307367682963,0.1423767912636019,0.0,0.0,0.10732286170450613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04482707709247851,0.27001611928145364,0.0505774249095395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14373796539141995,0.059690141889686986,0.0,0.0952363325391618,0.05090427316272567,0.1660662177148266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04058091564565278,0.0,0.0,0.11078908900674647,0.0,0.0,0.12103385618855456,0.07036474976891198,0.0859972351130313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15676786230293413,0.18677577869971426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0569435331095186,0.05870987198352973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09221364425183574,0.0,0.0,0.044989598551327885,0.0,0.0,0.12235218149065387
bipolarreddit,solodoritos,2020/01/25,"How to support parent of bipolar 18 year old? I’m looking for some advice, on how to support a family member of mine. This family member confides in me. I try to just listen, but this situation is really wearing down my family member. Let’s say his name is Johns 

John has an 18-year old daughter. Let’s call her Anna. She went to college last fall, but dropped out after 2 months. She’s been living at home with her parents ever since. 

Anna doesn’t have a job. She doesn’t have many friends in the area (most have gone on to college.) Anna had a girlfriend, but because she’s 18 and the girlfriend is a few years younger, the girlfriend’s parents forbid her from seeing or communicating with Anna. Anna reports this has caused her great mental distress, and we are pretty sure she still sneaks out to see her. 

Anna harms herself primarily by hitting herself with household objects. She also hits her head against walls. She was very recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She’s been taking lithium. 

She demands that her dad (John) stay home with her all the time. He can’t - he has to work. But he feels guilty that he doesn’t. He tells me that she will give him the finger when she asks him to stay home but he has to go work. 

The other night, Anna was having a rough time. She was very upset, yelling and hitting her head against a wall. She wanted to go to the ER. She wanted to be admitted to the hospital. The parents took her. Her dad told me that as soon as she was there, her demeanor changed. She seems to like when people are paying attention only to her. John told me they were taking silly selfies, telling crass jokes, laughing it up and having a great time while they were waiting for a medical professional to come talk to her. After a few hours, the staff sent her home because she didn’t meet any criteria for staying. This made Anna rage again. 

The following day, she slept until late afternoon. I guess she started having another “episode.” She asked to be taken to the local mental health residential clinic, and she asked for a multiple night stay.

John is beside himself. He thinks this is his fault. I’m so frustrated for him. I certainly want Anna to be healthy and well, to be happy and productive. John himself admits that much of her behavior seems to be attention-seeking. I see her acting very manipulative. 

John confides in me. I don’t want to tell him what to do - it’s not my place. I’m always conflicted - on one hand, I want to be a good listener and reassure him that he’s doing a good job. On the other hand, listening to this makes me upset. I know mental health manifests different for different folks. As someone who as self harmed a lot, and as someone who has manic-depressive cycles, this behavior really baffles me. 

But I would love to read some perspectives on this. What have other parents done in this situation? What could John try?",3.478735150994701,5.834141333941608,4.3626320309145585,82.92288607413771,75.44160583941607,7.144754544153428,26.62101044797481,8.124751697461798,1.8993176184342344,2273,87,412,39,51,732,259,548,0.07400000000000001,0.782,0.14400000000000002,0.9899,9,0,0,0,1,0,77.0,1,0,2,2,13,26,2,3,27,0,48,15,7,6,4,61,99,29,0,7,9,8,5,1,4,2,7,5,4,1,25,18,0,3,8,2,1,10,7,9,2,1,20,14,70,17,67,65,8,61,0,0,4,1,97,19,0,8,28,277,95,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06370378920482593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052133136080430825,0.05424404791197965,0.0,0.0,0.04433204485785999,0.0683583386887473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18283406326564652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07947953039874353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06656719372543503,0.0,0.0,0.06696900798186507,0.06896332409866478,0.05615618461750655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0520496259264028,0.0,0.0,0.042042734894034095,0.0,0.05614882330955804,0.06616738731194513,0.0,0.13622122255681413,0.0747144148366175,0.0,0.0,0.06671292053424614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05896889779666568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18436852508381116,0.0,0.032962475849383936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050366324635184735,0.0,0.0,0.06253704782442701,0.07409897718822762,0.1093580614214503,0.0,0.14374638624955,0.07181512177118317,0.0,0.0,0.06939692114763284,0.0,0.0,0.1338093340018401,0.13858974823983472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2615671366270827,0.0,0.06419990097968194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12938381057273224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03582721162251617,0.05313928125700594,0.07353817034751572,0.0,0.0,0.13332421621766005,0.0,0.03184897892859642,0.0,0.0575647556332666,0.0,0.05474393400045709,0.0,0.0,0.05542296863919069,0.05883732897768872,0.06168520216587382,0.04351542938078689,0.06609333655765552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06567296941845475,0.1970912707026824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05203475133163357,0.0,0.04792280961444191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12235447972670055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368137583936825,0.0,0.044175038369723835,0.049580614119337216,0.0,0.0,0.3619338766364848,0.0,0.0,0.045195159075566184,0.0,0.06811061127840706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06632257791199486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06520853770994219,0.0,0.08352591473529586,0.0,0.06436814523770977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051842417171655705,0.0,0.0,0.1558461117598016,0.11869468687150404,0.06800832226725474,0.0,0.0,0.05392658294089473,0.14655459727782727,0.0,0.0,0.1104720694729466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046142451814826096,0.2779392853892169,0.052061533858026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14795571275709124,0.06144164809771072,0.0,0.0980308815616793,0.05239797292011986,0.17093914986178127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04177169394556045,0.0,0.0,0.11404000734993334,0.0,0.0,0.12458538988882766,0.07242948428192507,0.0885206784556811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16136794994470335,0.1922563978697206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05861444473061093,0.060432613829938336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949194976014571,0.0,0.0,0.046309742190871854,0.0,0.0,0.1259423992160896
bipolarreddit,TheNasty925,2020/01/25,"Bipolar 1 or BPD? This is my first post but I have a lot of questions after my most recent visit to my therapist. 

I have been under Tx for Bipolar 1 for almost a decade and now my new dr and therapist think I have a Personality Disorder rather than BP1 (I think they’re thinking Borderline Personality Disorder).

Does anyone have any experience or advice? They’re thinking I Might not even need need medication. Have I wrongly been drugged for these past years? Where is the best place to explore these conditions?",4.323883040935673,6.958069084210527,5.2950877192982455,75.90005847953219,73.94736842105263,8.432748538011698,29.50292397660819,9.150863307647796,2.9403099415204683,413,18,71,10,9,135,63,95,0.038,0.855,0.107,0.8156,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,2,4,2,0,0,4,0,10,5,0,0,0,19,16,5,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,2,3,2,0,0,6,0,0,2,1,1,0,1,2,0,10,1,9,13,3,13,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,7,7,50,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14929064363732625,0.0,0.0,0.15298279284721264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10389271334094136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068243200468668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603286692293185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924156430919398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3501883708700904,0.0,0.13369504259843784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17717130626328706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10090690747187923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494439477129491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12995093042191813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12988443487768714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15390544261867573,0.0,0.16207087232112613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265624880680512,0.0,0.14755172084860374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14584169038943798,0.0,0.2667956928043476,0.1596180874514575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.146316887297432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17114374578995326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1508475704856597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3547687204415157,0.0,0.3915699931068904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16703624230901748,0.0,0.09838254037367238
bipolarreddit,papashalashanki,2020/01/25,"Anyone else with difficult parents? Title makes me seem like a teenager. I'm 23 but temporarily living at home while I move out for good.

One reason is that my mom has never been understanding and actually an attributing factor to my recently diagnosed condition.

This is partially ranting partially seeking advice. Through my whole life I was yelled at and beaten for having acted erratically because it's ""all me and my shitty personality"" (I'm a first gen American with parents from former Yugoslavia, those people do NOT recognize mental health at all) and naturally that made me feel horrible for being myself.

Got diagnosed a few days ago and while it was pretty quickly issued, I easily accepted it because it's fairly obvious. Now that it's official my mother has changed her tune from ""doesn't exist it's all you"" to ""you're batshit insane"" and invalidating any concern of mine. And yelling at me still of course.

Any advice on how to handle this situation until I leave? Kinda eats me alive especially with how unstable I've been these days.",6.527460317460317,8.482430291005294,7.6559523809523835,64.21821428571431,66.19576719576719,10.691005291005293,33.6058201058201,10.7630783206399,4.352147089947089,851,38,127,25,14,288,128,189,0.11800000000000001,0.79,0.092,-0.7431,2,0,0,0,1,0,21.0,0,1,0,2,5,5,1,0,4,0,12,5,0,6,5,29,20,13,0,0,2,4,1,1,0,0,4,2,1,1,13,11,1,0,5,0,0,2,3,2,0,2,6,3,18,3,21,13,5,21,0,0,0,0,7,6,0,2,14,92,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.1416200472580437,0.0,0.0,0.2836269015736469,0.12864363124638067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19737853399945346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014740447539646,0.14869664349125253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1769324339015644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1535219033316289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871858924017316,0.0,0.0,0.2945955222250537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14849803783608811,0.12123244383894652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0733790329433707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12344236334635887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12172308943561555,0.1160688854178223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15425997956240214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14557116115278526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1514717063015547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536653157930373,0.0,0.0,0.10250534237103563,0.07090023469999372,0.0,0.12814711247090685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13731979668428745,0.0968713679357117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14625081473274934,0.0,0.0,0.16996742399461315,0.0,0.15424379892537546,0.0,0.0,0.11192854193715578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09833974882888577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3222859590812789,0.0,0.0,0.10061067869538788,0.1267166412101465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14764323686518527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14921159774443926,0.1432923992567704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13211539961295032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631254076725111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11589617920408422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510791568906009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16202571486732248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,pusangkalye,2020/01/25,"TW a poem about surviving suicidality and self harming. I intend for it to be an inspiring write, but it could still trigger some people. Semicolon Cat

tiger stripes
spell out
harsh words
on brown skin

speed bumps
that halt
loving caresses
in the night

silent badges
of survival
escaping demise
by my own hands

self-inflicted pain
to counteract
those given
by wagging tongues

eyes avert
from mine
raised arms
witness to triumph

semicolon cat
a reminder
life continues
after a fall",6.9136316695352855,9.686306662650603,5.525851979345958,76.56385542168678,66.71084337349397,8.598278829604133,34.74870912220309,9.23628265651192,3.5777552495697083,395,19,60,8,7,116,74,83,0.132,0.7190000000000001,0.149,0.1655,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,3,2,5,0,0,5,0,2,7,4,2,0,12,4,2,1,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,5,3,3,13,1,2,9,0,0,2,1,3,3,0,1,5,32,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24486368051303364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2166212719587054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27679593596704105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2878038765878969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3263353467599716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21261733961860185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6398804141041552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449197005114997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3354645215958335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Satelitestars,2020/01/25,Trileptal Is anyone on Trileptal? Can you share your medication experiences and side effects?,8.311428571428571,12.731611571428573,7.368571428571433,54.701428571428615,76.14285714285714,8.514285714285714,42.714285714285715,8.841846274778883,5.823257142857145,78,5,8,2,2,24,13,14,0.0,0.835,0.165,0.3736,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,6,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.445752584328989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6235941953681288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6422109568258731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,tj744,2020/01/25,"Inquiry at the end of my unorganized summary of emotions My doctor recently referred me to a mental health specialist but after originally diagnosing me with depression I'm not confident in her diagnosis this time. I had a really bad episode, lied to my wife and decided to drink and I stole someone's xanax. After crashing the car and realizing what I could have done to someone I crawled to the center of the road in the middle of the night and the last thing I remember is peace of mind thinking I was finally going to lay to rest. My childhood wasn't awful. I dealt with an abusive father who struggle with addiction. Tonight I had an epiphany and my years of anger toward him I finally could relate. I realize he struggled with addiction because it made him feel the emotions he was seeking and avoiding his depression or whatever he was feeling. I'm not saying that's the way to handle emotions but I can understand now that he didn't love drugs or alcohol more than me and most of his emotions were intensified by his disorder. It saddens me to think of the emotional torment he must've been going through. 

Precursor: I am not trying to self diagnose

Thinking back on my life if I were to be diagnosed with bipolar it would make sense. Moments I can think of that imitate mania are times where I had the energy to go out with friends but the alcohol amplified my already intense emotions and turned me into either irrationally angry or sloppily sad and in result I would get into fights to push those emotions away with the adrenaline high. If there was anything that I can look at as a trigger for me it would be when someone challenges my opinion. It makes me feel this false sense of a challenge. It feels so real that I can twist their words and make myself feel like they're out to get me. It feels like a personal attack with something so simple and I say some unspeakable things. Afterwards it's a vicious cycle of self loathing because I said something so horrible to someone that I was dear to me. Then what would be considered the times of depression I think about how I'm slowly pushing them away from me and make myself feel so insecure that I withdraw. There's a lot of examples in my life where I can relate to a simple google search but I think google could almost diagnose you with anything if you try and relate hard enough. After a very traumatic event I think back and I have never felt the same. I have these bipolar tendencies almost like it triggered something that was there. I don't even remember what it's like to feel happy. It's so hard for me to think how now I find myself so bitter and depressed. I'm not suicidal as often as I was before but the world feels grey and I find myself trying to be numb to emotion because it's better than months of depression. Happiness feels to me like a moment in time rather than emotion. Almost like it's there for a split second and I didn't really get to feel it as an emotion. Is it possible that this very traumatic event triggered my bipolar disorder? Or am I just relating to google?

TL;DR is it possible that a traumatic event can trigger bipolar disorder?",6.250490410718977,7.012086903494179,6.756527279096247,74.79129148787109,65.9883527454243,10.1865487345652,34.95056484806025,10.186864033877496,3.70823527454243,2523,115,443,58,38,824,258,601,0.20800000000000002,0.6970000000000001,0.095,-0.9982,0,1,7,0,1,0,31.0,0,2,2,3,26,31,5,4,31,1,44,21,0,13,1,112,84,43,1,11,19,2,14,6,1,4,19,3,0,3,37,30,3,1,29,1,0,6,9,17,0,1,20,20,70,14,79,53,8,60,0,6,2,1,27,22,0,15,37,328,107,3,0.0,0.05885769432222032,0.0,0.1083078984852512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10617663549126176,0.14922939986005812,0.0,0.05481847532259588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08175789367337108,0.0,0.0,0.05651338852475912,0.09334408972455484,0.07639524048307339,0.04147721407236833,0.09084571112657316,0.0,0.04227044296048025,0.0,0.0,0.04393420403579509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189862410468125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2139284482803866,0.20167954603603866,0.0,0.0,0.17079829518835718,0.050845281379565836,0.0,0.05083558560599282,0.0,0.048663367569853185,0.0576081514659806,0.0,0.0,0.5587858347427036,0.043998010032157385,0.0513283756678381,0.0,0.032810394257437814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27629332134594725,0.10646519415167442,0.04769655364263956,0.108834811120051,0.09080555380673908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03837939618213555,0.0,0.07786065817205269,0.0,0.08469569765503643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1057616155173977,0.08899951044250662,0.0,0.0,0.05280304740325759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0524852050694745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040492403266841635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07017496654231578,0.14561450601974493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041715156839228384,0.0,0.0,0.04223258469623633,0.044834344683468835,0.04700443857373224,0.13263591626650253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050061517737816495,0.0,0.050158392222646515,0.0,0.03965074583188008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0383130357105637,0.0,0.0,0.04661736870918783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04337498832543443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11200399043249297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05654193040735575,0.06364717291405822,0.0,0.049048854874384346,0.0,0.11254598459590956,0.0,0.04725305692308918,0.07900837244258943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10364537666319824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683605604368741,0.11472856236406212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10386385392851366,0.0,0.054337257293017034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06600478208440022,0.2546419501915593,0.0,0.0,0.11586542276408822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101179812504783,0.05403300046565928,0.0,0.0517142547637348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08197546709877604,0.0,0.03943033404957983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411530387027225,0.0,0.0,0.03198958345451282
bipolarreddit,dancar22,2020/01/25,"I can't believe I actually had to send this to Allergan >Hello,

>I am not eligible for the savings card I guess. I'm a full time student on the marketplace health insurance, Molina. I'm struggling with my bipolar disorder and Vraylar is one of the only medications that works for me. I'm trying so hard to keep my life together and stay in school and get good grades. I go to work, I'm going to my therapy and psychiatry appointments regularly and I can't express how far I've come. I'm pleading with you. I live in -state-. Please help me afford my life saving med.

Vraylar is $1,274. How is anyone supposed to pay for this?",3.1294981818181853,5.161958168000002,5.1730181818181835,78.21450909090909,75.32,8.385454545454545,30.56363636363637,9.095868883498916,2.9138,501,24,94,12,11,173,83,125,0.07400000000000001,0.86,0.067,0.0345,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,0,2,3,4,0,1,4,0,7,5,0,2,0,15,18,8,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,8,0,1,0,0,1,4,3,1,0,1,1,1,13,3,15,17,1,12,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,1,1,53,16,6,0.0,0.0,0.1907647288701224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13668734765759125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2202441540660873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16839263666804385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2240422385734132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10213261282513733,0.0,0.22219675763443847,0.16396317190255694,0.0,0.0,0.21534827891274103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17511576619796615,0.0,0.0,0.20779094306551904,0.0,0.0,0.1310291780736784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17375565643890614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2761530478735105,0.0,0.0,0.17261644547723556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21713927424372131,0.1969301253907809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324653951591788,0.14867481464496174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21458334092779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19784080833921724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2083605279592457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20436290346467487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2235536278406416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11398861736600092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13272118241584796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28463017174661354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mnspencer0407,2020/01/25,"Abilifu and suicidal thoughts? I (24f with BPD 1) have been working with my doc because my medicine hasnt seem to be doing what it needs to. Last week he placed my on Abilify and my symptoms only got worse. For the first time in my life I was having suicidal thoughts bad enough for him to want to send me to the hospital. (Ive had thoughts of hurting myself but nothing suicidal.) Have any of you had the same issue with Abilify?

He also said hed be putting me on Lithium on Monday if Im not feeling any better, which Im not so far even after stopping Abilify. What was your experience on Lithium? Did you have any adverse reaction or side effects?",4.43062015503876,5.472050201550387,5.550387596899222,80.79829457364346,70.24031007751938,8.834108527131782,34.488372093023266,9.150863307647796,3.1261069767441865,512,26,99,10,9,170,86,129,0.165,0.826,0.008,-0.96,0,0,0,0,0,1,14.0,0,3,0,4,3,4,0,0,3,0,16,2,0,1,0,20,25,7,3,3,5,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,4,5,0,1,6,0,0,2,3,3,0,1,11,2,16,1,18,11,2,17,0,1,0,0,9,8,0,3,7,68,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11616883234443727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2963567285862145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212906920762242,0.08855254964387273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12847560118242424,0.0,0.0,0.1829569135370357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15009817672513287,0.0,0.09594654597184164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14209761213274585,0.0,0.0,0.07345064230735994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12356282867240626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11618215509078357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15550980851544982,0.0,0.31382350955199184,0.15161952499192902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1184108365498124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10260537561048096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10771258738146353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13938624244602235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11048101998463022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15177161355248786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14603203115277189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1381808326595607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322443288092068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12144852996632792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4766909029445508,0.0,0.0,0.15098655946891065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3459739340851704,0.08470552825848293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0856814031552442,0.0,0.11652328649426592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1057550728012022,0.0,0.1480380370447065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kristiyanarr,2020/01/25,"Is it possible to have good relationship while you have Bipolar Disorder? Can I recover from it? Hello, I need some advice from you guys. So, I had an abuse boyfriend who used to talk rude to me  manipulating me and threatening me every single time when I was trying to leave him. After few months he punched me really hard and I left him for that. For 6 months now, I'm dating the best boy in the world. But the problem is that I have Bipolar disorder . He knows that I have it and I'm afraid that I can't control my mood swings. He is really supportive and really caring. He is making me feel loved and he is doing his best to calm me and he is constantly telling me that every problem has decision and things will get only better, not worse. Is it possivle that my Bipolar disorder is from all those things that happened (I've been diagnosed with depression last summer and I am self-harming when my mood swings get worse)... I would be very greateful if someone tell me how to deal with those mood swings and give me some advice about Bipolar disorder.",4.137908536585364,5.810899678048781,4.890777439024394,82.81860518292686,71.73170731707317,8.442073170731707,26.95884146341464,9.017664075816787,2.1385182926829263,834,29,161,17,16,269,114,205,0.157,0.718,0.124,-0.6784,0,0,0,0,1,0,21.0,0,2,0,4,6,17,1,1,4,0,23,6,0,5,1,29,37,16,0,5,3,0,2,0,0,2,5,0,0,2,16,11,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,3,2,27,9,16,31,7,15,0,1,0,1,22,3,0,3,12,111,43,0,0.0,0.13185156297109654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2174879380390161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23356823193778306,0.09842032612248808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11345992320590773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12025684640583098,0.1248127839455832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11472736894405094,0.09584745238347388,0.1129493928974458,0.0,0.0,0.5101575346597003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18752060812288493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056267774606728486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11628102428139375,0.1067523121634938,0.0,0.09333847948205534,0.0,0.12268934680421742,0.0,0.11018716873734644,0.0984067453830837,0.0,0.09968726001450554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061157950560955215,0.09071008847136236,0.0,0.1178320973592978,0.12090875958417048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10043679911988164,0.0,0.07428193147569312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1776492562648472,0.0,0.0,0.08251456214264356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08463535423969637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254542958876039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2129646429347938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21387125313135213,0.0,0.0,0.11947575643989099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160919151280065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09428929935126196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12628205986762167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08944465651156087,0.1945316162907558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14786229364933268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06488971943972506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07555351130385493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09611234838845784,0.0,0.09181971521927927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22681274499404624,0.07905189366230156,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Meganea84,2020/01/25,"Anger problems is like a wildfire... Does anyone else keep their shit together then something happens and you explode? Not only on the situation but also on everything within a 20 mile radius of you. 

Example: today I went to a fast food restaurant because I didn’t want to cook, they were being a holes there and didn’t give me my food for nearly 50 minutes and did a few other things like ignore me when I asked for a straw and a fork. Inside the store I was livid but outside I was polite, but you can guarantee I was writing corporate while I was waiting for 50 minutes. And then it just escalated. My neighbor has an illegally parked truck which hasn’t been moved for 2 weeks and I’ve been patient with him until tonight and so I notified the city, then my other neighbor was leaning stuff on the side of my house and was scraping the wall which woke up my dog and got him freaked out. So I went out and asked wtf he was doing and if he could not lean shit on my house...It was after this my husband brought me inside and fed me, turned on a movie, and gave me my evening pills and asked me not to do anything else then ran for his life because I was about to explode on him.",6.851708683473389,5.633878218487396,6.870210084033617,81.13189775910367,65.1344537815126,9.44593837535014,34.11904761904762,8.07648339933343,2.4014694677871145,928,34,191,9,12,297,134,238,0.115,0.847,0.038,-0.9659,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,3,2,0,8,8,3,0,14,0,23,9,2,0,0,32,40,28,0,4,8,1,0,2,2,0,3,0,2,0,8,17,4,3,0,1,1,5,6,6,0,0,23,0,33,2,26,15,1,31,0,0,0,0,20,14,2,1,14,138,41,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11743974125288024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10268430010356712,0.1504701108709117,0.12084899862223608,0.0,0.4118682798787198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1790426624350456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11725161884900435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12851363688076048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.245356705266464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09699621925811862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13198363706919214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3551548466773561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14087651860975506,0.0,0.0,0.11745320975258115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12986322653183932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16945073760810536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305313057588915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10372789774732104,0.1434916878498244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15608342582942825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11168970315444997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405202232888172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30148871127694765,0.0,0.16507096328498744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130560100651705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681136266855125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975638126276325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13920119186097632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15973586660431632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08661877384547398,0.0,0.11779807319787615,0.0,0.0,0.272271766673452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bpdlo,2020/01/25,"Rant about depression I hate the toll depression can take on you physically... I do not care about myself so I am eating like trash and not exercising so I’m gaining weight, skipping showers, my gums and teeth are a mess (I take very good care of them normally)... All this is just observable. And the more I ignore myself the less I care. I don’t know what is going on inside or what will happen if I don’t work through this.",1.6889281045751616,4.032431435294118,3.225098039215688,88.76183006535948,81.70588235294117,6.601307189542485,21.20915032679739,7.793537801064563,0.9414052287581702,332,10,69,6,9,109,58,85,0.273,0.635,0.092,-0.9489,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,1,2,5,10,1,0,4,0,9,4,1,0,1,12,19,7,0,2,5,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,4,3,2,1,1,1,0,1,4,5,0,0,0,1,13,5,6,18,3,3,0,2,0,0,2,2,0,2,1,49,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6432759871744573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3622798418330299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21519990254723434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195241687779534,0.17639827007819814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18597667056424425,0.0,0.0,0.2076378435459333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155810201788698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10274697107349083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2060594041485851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31625428792264754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1735279920310633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.256101241804627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1531083758796815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Quietxxxxxriot,2020/01/25,Psych doc called & said my lithium levels are too high. Would that cause shaking? My levels are at 1.23 which is slightly above normal. I’m guessing it’s been elevated for months now. I have been pretty shaky for a long time and was wondering if that may have been the cause? I’ve also been pretty irritable and my jaw is almost always clenched.,3.6963184079601934,5.946582537313433,4.087388059701496,85.64710199004975,74.37313432835822,6.257711442786071,23.106965174129357,7.1686216300943375,0.8692308457711442,278,8,52,3,6,87,51,67,0.1,0.809,0.091,0.264,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,2,2,0,13,1,1,2,0,12,17,4,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,6,1,4,0,3,9,0,9,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,6,4,32,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22090323210543755,0.0,0.0,0.17641709266182326,0.18356035999975487,0.2390245498937027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252615450867877,0.0,0.0,0.4532425468661519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24302038865416836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330804408870407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19522776793473992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1760841613891237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2161452694814256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4488675438600124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20984510446925328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12863607842281144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2392358359083902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15671088857243884,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,blackqueenie,2020/01/25,Tips on regulating a sleep schedule? Hi! I’m asking for tips on how to stop from oversleeping? It’s been getting out of hand and I’ve been missing my psychiatrist appointments by sleeping all day,1.8936036036036008,4.6687265135135165,3.3987837837837844,81.67853603603606,94.67567567567568,6.790990990990991,27.78828828828829,7.793537801064563,2.577688288288289,159,8,28,4,6,52,33,37,0.132,0.784,0.084,-0.2148,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,2,3,3,1,1,5,6,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,1,0,8,4,1,6,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,3,16,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37342046467313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2576043651797344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20868978768017515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7994526279204706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3339479238335026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,GaileoB,2020/01/26,"Stability? So I've been pretty stable on meds these past couple months. Like, my Daylio graph has been totally in the neutral range the past 2 months.

This has got me feeling like ""how can I actually be bipolar if I'm so stable right now"". I've also been feeling like I was actually faking my bipolar disorder, but I know it's not true. 

I've done this before last spring and actually did stop taking meds. I was fine for a couple months then started rapidly cycling which caused me to decide to get back on meds.

So, my question is, how do you stop yourself from having these thought or having the urge to stop your meds? Am I just gonna struggle with this for the rest of my life???",4.723129084967318,5.457978845588241,5.487156862745099,82.63692810457519,69.36764705882354,7.809150326797385,28.346405228758172,7.793537801064563,1.6491513071895425,537,18,107,6,9,175,88,136,0.135,0.757,0.109,-0.826,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,2,0,0,9,7,0,1,5,0,16,3,0,3,2,21,26,11,0,1,5,0,2,3,0,1,3,1,0,0,7,2,0,3,6,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,9,3,13,5,11,15,2,18,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,3,17,69,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.3559403283566841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972293130055314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09348927581677986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103457573425805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12489850272373795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2690569816514593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13934383718959595,0.0,0.0,0.12442089465191745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12295131744434028,0.17371682385786386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0635217281521254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09724046368552408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06681844667059304,0.09910579333372996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08587716670597388,0.17819689590767573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5402020595820755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2911374706050437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321281053461392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12369289806756245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13619998968052358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038306109387892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0860565703053961,0.0,0.0,0.3049447144087576,0.0,0.12710420735527356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09141475061910304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09652275700819077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,medicinebear1,2020/01/26,"Poor mood/anger compromising the good in one’s life...any advice? I have a schizoaffective bipolar type diagnosis. Schizo portion is under control and I’m properly medicated, but my mood fluctuates REAL hard over very small things and I can’t shake the angry vibe for days. I feel like this could ruin my marriage as it’s not fair to my spouse to get the brunt of this all of the time. I’m so frustrated. And pearls of wisdom out there or thoughts on coping your way through bouts of anger/poor mood? Big thanks for anything shared.",4.616176470588236,6.435649784313724,4.537401960784315,85.24080882352943,70.76470588235293,7.845098039215688,26.47549019607843,8.472884824447931,1.7040549019607836,426,14,83,7,8,131,79,102,0.203,0.6559999999999999,0.141,-0.8153,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,1,2,10,1,1,5,0,4,2,0,1,1,13,10,7,0,1,3,1,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,4,0,1,2,0,1,1,2,3,0,1,1,2,7,5,15,8,2,11,0,1,0,0,4,7,0,1,3,45,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609029481581797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18156472865542064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.219712892779114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2994559017189337,0.2131725761408892,0.0,0.0,0.17218871309550446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349999306955757,0.19074020245520104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13949307866639493,0.0,0.0,0.2239414718171758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2391737239876696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885853977756225,0.13043953275025993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2689678518256618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18092169852886145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3038970436969978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2458117336937935,0.0,0.0,0.17737861088931176,0.0,0.0,0.2119630074326052,0.15568605100246322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2202975908986444,0.0,0.2119270046728632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,knowingmeknowingyoua,2020/01/26,"Medication advice? Been diagnosed (m/30s) with major depressive disorder for years. Citalopram hadn’t been working so meds were switched 3 weeks ago.  

Just got diagnosed with BP2 with help from this reddit community after being put on Prozac triggered a hypomanic episode that legit made me suicidal as I felt mentally unstable bouncing up and down between moods and seem to be in the lowest low I’ve ever had in my life. 

My psychiatrist gave me the weekend to let the diagnosis sink in and to do some research on medication before seeing him again on Tuesday. 

Any advice? I’m not keen on weight gain. Also how long do meds take to stabilise?",5.4431896551724135,7.955832801724143,6.1253793103448295,71.80755172413794,70.1206896551724,9.122758620689657,32.289655172413795,9.642632912329526,3.6049510344827578,519,24,82,13,10,169,91,116,0.155,0.797,0.048,-0.9109,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,6,4,0,0,4,0,10,7,0,3,1,15,18,7,1,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,2,6,1,0,2,1,0,1,2,2,0,0,9,3,6,1,21,6,2,20,0,2,1,0,3,10,0,2,9,54,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3258336482767511,0.14778719318940625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13332589895538155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11337529597462953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14186641409214862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14359566498136986,0.3384345181645589,0.0,0.0,0.19107552838657094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15080775683662842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1600773153988781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333411893486594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11174888089810957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17048246390085853,0.11775924458258548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14754192617178574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15775446576475385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3703766024101775,0.3359056578248497,0.16801451577203508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16759961718471988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13285422996626484,0.1517755981910999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823645863131782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12535266811337606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13373270271858242,0.2030200075909227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12137412303935648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10736219389127738
bipolarreddit,goldenerin_,2020/01/26,"Im confused;need advice I had a few traumas, and definitely have mild ptsd. For a long time i also tought i have depression and anxiety, but no psichiatrist ever confirmed it, at least fully-all they said is i might have anxiety and suicidal tendencies, but i never really got diagnosed. A few weeks ago someone said im very impulsive, and i remembered how my old psichiatrist said that my life is almost only ups and downs, that every few weeks it changes. Im starting to suspect i *might* have bipolar disorder, but i cant just ask my psichiatrist about it, because then i feel like an emo teen who wants to have a disorder to be cool. Right now im on zoloft, recently upped to 75mg, and i think i feel fine-i got over a break up pretty easily because of it, but im starting to feel bad again. I dont really even try to study, my grades are worse than ever, i always feel like crying and i zone out a lot, get random anger bursts and to control them i have to bite myself. I really just dont know what to do, it feels like i dont deserve a diagnosis, and if i even get one, ill feel like an imposter-like i hyperbolised my symptoms just to get diagnosed with something.

Summary: never diagnosed, only hinted at anxiety and suicidal tendencies; impulsive and pretty extreme ups and downs; self harm to control anger; feel like and imposter, but never even hinted at bipolar.",4.6911017282011045,5.9062109813432855,5.981948153967007,77.29800864100551,69.78358208955224,9.821209740769836,30.523173605655927,10.064110947511567,3.181944776119403,1085,44,201,28,19,365,135,268,0.222,0.669,0.109,-0.9890000000000001,0,0,1,0,0,0,37.0,0,0,2,2,13,12,2,0,9,1,18,9,0,3,5,49,39,22,2,2,9,0,7,5,0,2,9,3,0,1,9,15,0,2,11,0,0,0,8,6,0,1,6,11,27,6,28,30,5,31,0,1,0,0,8,13,0,6,22,133,36,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07424645689746187,0.0673513955797121,0.0,0.07608266706101889,0.0,0.0,0.060760916881722825,0.06322117436831452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17437272516300534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07103073755939296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06343985310895651,0.09263300663336024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08037641926972401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.170435327439732,0.0,0.0,0.08346010283234154,0.0,0.0,0.06544118084235542,0.23135330557551045,0.0,0.0,0.17415857518145145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2671428319383473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15055157189490234,0.13745592791894068,0.06401615130437235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26892323848447897,0.27139946712325497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190887292667112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12153577041524885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41035542396781705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04175644112683139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05366668987944697,0.18559915122529846,0.0,0.0,0.06723961948078286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06459520074964897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612048517301181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17580062296823265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07972788543940168,0.0,0.05148579265380586,0.11557192986825306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545972848314789,0.0,0.0,0.08881617155183727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14602357188539308,0.0,0.07502076062689123,0.0,0.08607015792224952,0.06488622541919391,0.2168222039879234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07926336927383128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06437733019400342,0.05849286414687644,0.0,0.0,0.10755760693598312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16621886007088546,0.0,0.0,0.07897197212886578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0486847064009196,0.0,0.0,0.04430435821783964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05158521038961928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06269118728913105,0.04481477957865063,0.0,0.12189262098238343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07742977770093372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,catosaurus1992,2020/01/26,"Fuck me!.. I was so proud that i have been surviving these past weeks clean by just going for walks and trying to a small thing everyday.. but im exhausted and today i broke and bought a bunch of valium.. and now i hate myself even more.. i struggle to stay motivated to do the right thing, when i really dont want to be here anymore..",1.2974369747899177,3.4622930294117684,3.2956302521008425,88.73676470588238,81.94117647058823,7.415126050420167,18.537815126050425,8.418075326091056,0.9080521008403356,258,6,56,6,7,87,53,68,0.249,0.622,0.129,-0.8833,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,3,6,6,2,1,3,0,6,2,0,1,0,8,11,7,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,4,4,0,0,1,0,1,2,1,5,0,0,3,0,8,1,7,7,2,11,0,1,0,1,0,2,1,0,6,41,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2603631336916575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3076878344663881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.173401198137122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2427084066095185,0.0,0.0,0.14920409403607915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2591979233206812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2835817173443759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506183618690258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16818597110939018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2242025590700174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2798262597349441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27445748705473977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3488317819777523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2488514875675256,0.0,0.0,0.17824331905268612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15484932588974526,0.0,0.21058889910336814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ReputableVegetable,2020/01/26,"Lamictal and suicidal ideation I've been on a high dose of lithium since I was diagnosed as bipolar2 in August of 2018. Last week, my pdoc recommended adding 25mg of lamictal to help with depression. I've felt on-edge and have experienced constant thoughts of suicide and hopelessness since taking the first dose. Has anyone else experienced this issue on lamictal?",7.048124999999999,9.4494913125,6.917625000000001,68.26487500000003,65.5625,11.37,37.8,11.20814326018867,5.180785,300,16,46,10,5,95,49,64,0.22899999999999998,0.7090000000000001,0.061,-0.9359999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,2,6.0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,0,4,3,0,0,0,6,7,4,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,4,3,2,0,10,3,0,9,0,2,0,0,1,4,0,0,5,23,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15832954749444594,0.23201078004721146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2446972307569624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19502928003115053,0.22982810944845286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891584988181552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2174143876530888,0.0,0.0,0.19260662741553305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15177549955057976,0.23924241584669545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23634069948709505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18457583176391326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3746209457505231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.495369187871405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1702519405116256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17976515357623835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816335662445582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,my_anon_account_,2020/01/26,"Mike Posner's ""I took a pill in Ibiza"" - tell me this song doesn't describe (hypo)mania...  [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1zrweVN4l4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1zrweVN4l4) 

""You don't wanna be high like me,  Never really knowing why like me  
You don't ever wanna step off that roller coaster and be all alone  
You don't wanna ride the bus like this  
Never knowing who to trust like this  
You don't wanna be stuck up on that stage singing  
Stuck up on that stage singing  
All I know are sad songs, sad songs...""

Holy shit this fucking resonates.  Yes some of what he describes is chemically-induced, but I wouldn't doubt there's something underneath these words, the cycles of being up and feeling out of control...  and yet all he knows is sad songs.  Maybe I'm projecting my experiences into this song, but still, it resonates...",6.039020979020977,8.935041993006998,4.4608391608391615,82.67279720279723,69.62937062937063,6.358041958041959,24.98601398601399,7.321109707123232,1.1414027972027971,667,20,113,7,13,191,88,143,0.09300000000000001,0.789,0.11900000000000001,0.1862,0,1,1,0,0,0,48.0,0,4,0,1,4,11,2,1,3,1,13,3,1,1,6,27,23,5,0,5,2,0,1,4,0,1,1,5,0,0,12,5,0,1,5,8,0,3,8,6,0,0,3,6,11,5,18,15,4,21,0,3,0,1,8,11,2,2,9,72,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21194381257149425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295195243377909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851072759813894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001757600140439,0.0,0.0,0.10347139495672923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891850335194179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21621185384939465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4498559611760444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3999042174801853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2055869195787373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31565971654731595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13109668934136534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21005852145334705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15754074648512575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16342460306960285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17886310451653034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2273609485189005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18465445363321814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,vixin022,2020/01/26,"New med Along with many other meds, my doc just prescribed propranolol. Any input on this med?",2.1827450980392165,4.918430411764707,1.8905882352941177,91.60098039215687,97.8235294117647,4.6196078431372545,17.43137254901961,6.42735559955562,0.23599607843137305,75,2,13,1,3,22,16,17,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,7,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18489375652314075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2756526417058908,0.0,0.0,0.9060217319726284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26259196696137593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,KloudyKid91,2020/01/26,"Saying Goodbye To Your Psychiatrist After Almost A Decade 😔😢 yeah...i’m going in to see a new psychiatrist after seeing the same psychiatrist for almost eight years...he was saying that he thought that latuda would be good for me but that he didn’t want to switch me from seroquel after taking it for almost 7 years RIGHT b4 he retired and was unable to check in on me and place me back onto seroquel if latuda didn’t work well for me becuz i’m unable to see a new psychiatrist at the hospital’s outpatient clinic until late february and he retired in early december. i am STILL really TORN UP about dr. urbach’s retirement. i didn’t realize that i had actually grown to LOVE him. he told me as our last session was coming to an end that it was difficult on THEIR END too—having to say goodbye to certain patients (some patients not so much—lol). but he could tell i was about to cry when our session was ending and he gave me a hug—like a REAL HUG—not a fake, stiff hug—and i will ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT. and then he ushered me out to the waiting room to make sure that i set up arrangements to see someone new—and then he gave me another hug. then i went into the elevator by myself and i just broke down.

i don’t know why i’m sharing this with you, but i am...",3.9441028966709912,4.891338821011676,5.589228274967579,80.42087656722873,71.29571984435799,8.357025507998271,26.72913964548205,8.680891452615391,1.900571292693471,995,32,197,17,18,340,143,257,0.075,0.821,0.10300000000000001,0.7278,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,2,2,1,1,8,10,0,0,11,0,17,5,0,1,2,34,36,17,0,4,6,0,0,0,0,2,3,3,1,0,10,10,0,2,4,0,1,4,5,3,1,1,15,7,26,7,39,17,2,39,0,1,4,2,24,15,0,5,19,126,36,3,0.0,0.0,0.12055434915275892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3711135591034737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10279272943866706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12953937776014188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09499237288639492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064162376130554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09863428931259663,0.0,0.13569965846233825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3282514996069738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07020895754453169,0.10361702391636672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06789273685531573,0.10069919135976396,0.13935518345188552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11149701895978356,0.0,0.0824619461660564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09081395272402157,0.0,0.0,0.3579385841821834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12906993313633788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14061221885052305,0.07914100334505345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13994340574096192,0.105499973394268,0.0,0.29472488320302576,0.0,0.0,0.3937721665164941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10467254920105576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09865685489980176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164322161100915,0.0,0.09288449399420898,0.0,0.10797683468565572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09807462562566203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11804495394253968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07286535813530394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11107465224881856,0.1145200913614043,0.11147298079063248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08993645027407672,0.0,0.0,0.08775718226495803,0.0,0.0,0.0795538156769025
bipolarreddit,SazedMonk,2020/01/26,"Depression Bipolar Support Alliance, did not know about this, passing it on. Support meetings. https://www.dbsalliance.org/


They have online meetings too!",11.684999999999995,16.5007715,5.830000000000003,62.170000000000044,84.0,6.0,50.0,7.1686216300943375,6.0975,130,9,10,2,4,33,18,20,0.14,0.644,0.21600000000000005,0.2481,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,2,2,4,0,2,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,9,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3460497587033027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22080601526823815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.9118630753149009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Koloosey,2020/01/27,"Asked for different responsibilities at work. Feeling really nervous now.... I haven't had this job quite a year yet. The position was undefined when I started and it become a combination of areas. I work three different areas. Last fall was busy season and I didn't feel my work was as good as it should have been, but my first real season so I didn't mind too much. Ive always been hard on myself.
After the season was over I started drinking and pretty much lost control of my personal life. Work was fine, but home was a disaster. I stopped taking care of myself or my home. I realized after a med switch it was probably due to the let down from the fall. But I can't be certain. 
I switched meds at the beginning of the monrh. At the end of last week I asked for a more focused position. Focusing on only two areas instead of three. I can't stop wondering if that was a mistake. I don't know if I'll ever know whether or not the spring season would have been too much or not. 
I feel so defeated, but I just don't want to keep falling apart. 
Sorry for the rant, thanks for reading.",1.8892243536280235,4.139348247706426,3.701150959132612,86.17635529608008,80.28440366972477,6.8994161801501255,23.67055879899917,8.00094639256281,1.4218458715596332,850,30,171,16,22,285,118,218,0.146,0.747,0.107,-0.7793,3,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,9,10,9,0,1,15,0,26,2,0,1,2,35,43,18,0,6,13,0,4,0,0,2,1,0,2,1,5,3,1,4,7,2,0,3,9,4,0,4,15,4,22,5,24,24,4,37,0,2,0,0,3,11,0,6,23,124,27,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996325159740309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2238797733589803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13224241880383492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12208198366685748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13429757239837709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25020373026763826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11729872422438542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10605329435484734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083108631795114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18163104679815356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10185000980293772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10043146871285977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10726270655761347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2402161427975209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11882257196758568,0.10642960593429622,0.0,0.0,0.1316109461475865,0.19520668137740185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12244133331997847,0.0845752612176589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13070936263996938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2660062741467529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12090234833044294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2640660281573595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09106697450497933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1045515558806696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218177027270932,0.12909899230626198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12735726246346768,0.11977149429503013,0.1362893000047021,0.07670792791509241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13403810941061606,0.16950389008510236,0.0,0.0,0.20021448360359864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09002889486595002,0.0,0.0,0.11023966771941426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11696769332847085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07062521832053117,0.0,0.09604747640713257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298519366748635,0.3486859379067687,0.0,0.0,0.08505921490358233,0.0,0.0,0.0771080489301859
bipolarreddit,Lemonadegrizzlybear,2020/01/27,"Have to go back on meds sigh I had almost a full year without medications. But I've been getting cycles again and it's slowly but gradually getting worse. 

Had to call suicide hotline like three or more times. Rip. 

I honestly thought I was one of those rare cases that didn't need meds that long. And now I feel defeated and almost guilty about needing my meds. 

I can't help the cycles and nothing is working to control them. So meds it is. I just feel guilty. 

Tldr: had to go back on meds and I feel extremely guilty and defeated",1.4036043956043969,3.9994143714285713,2.731428571428569,89.86549450549452,86.23809523809523,5.516483516483516,23.315018315018314,7.010146845296331,0.972699633699634,419,16,83,6,13,135,68,105,0.257,0.672,0.071,-0.9768,0,0,0,0,0,1,10.0,0,0,1,4,7,5,0,0,2,0,10,1,0,1,0,20,20,10,1,2,5,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,6,0,1,4,0,0,2,3,2,1,2,7,3,9,2,9,13,2,12,0,2,0,0,3,3,0,3,8,54,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2691877345957925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20670854810269387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13724933862560668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15075411214159387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.203887730123518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14044909519924995,0.0,0.15277849407120542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09009330612474123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06566675037978215,0.0,0.0,0.11895009430070748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7465052972836119,0.13540561219149852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19932909372472665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12897161817339287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09108082316062473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470245461876737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10670784849769448,0.07837652307729852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295680490741175,0.0,0.09785329333702288,0.0,0.13697697027927394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08655670573819862
bipolarreddit,Ninetenthsofacent,2020/01/27,"Lithium Questions Hi there, I've been slowly lowering my Lithium dosage (from 1500mg to 900mg now) and it hasn't changed my levels and thusly, has not changed my TSH (thyroid).  How is this possible?  My kidneys are ok, as far as I know.  Is it possible to lower your lithium dose and not have the levels go down?  They weren't taken in a trough, but were taken at the same time of day, 9:30 AM.  I'd be curious.  I think I'm going to continue on getting off, as I'm already on Lamictal and perphenazine.",2.153137254901964,3.955045686274509,3.984901960784317,86.6787254901961,77.43137254901961,6.886274509803924,28.0,7.793537801064563,1.7871882352941184,388,17,79,6,9,131,71,102,0.033,0.9159999999999999,0.052000000000000005,0.4234,2,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,1,0,3,1,0,0,3,1,11,3,1,1,0,12,20,9,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,3,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,5,0,8,1,14,14,1,15,0,0,0,0,4,9,0,1,4,50,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2843027120253818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5450798278101443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16615097224664774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13460179953400642,0.0,0.29283578086289586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14158750754371496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.580881501176979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.288606186273888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650798307706935,0.0,0.0,0.1502269705968074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,vanillaclique,2020/01/27,"Think I might be bipolar? I don't like to self diagnose or anything but I feel like there is something really wrong with me.

I get these major depressive episodes which the time length can vary from time to time. I just don't wan to talk to anyone, feel anxious, thoughts of suicide etc. And then it flips into these episodes where I feel on top of the world. Always so energetic and ready to do anything that's laid down on me. Now I haven't really gone out and spent everything I have or crazy but I feel so confident and over the top if that makes sense? 

Should I see a doctor or am I just overthinking?? What do I say to them?",2.6026349431818185,4.395025414062502,3.3294318181818205,91.91784090909091,76.109375,7.154545454545455,23.35511363636364,8.00094639256281,1.0152875,495,15,109,8,11,156,81,128,0.175,0.693,0.132,-0.7342,0,0,1,0,0,1,12.0,0,0,1,2,7,4,0,0,4,0,12,3,0,1,0,24,23,13,1,2,8,0,4,2,0,2,3,1,0,1,7,7,0,0,6,0,1,1,3,2,0,0,3,6,15,2,16,17,2,16,0,1,1,0,4,10,0,5,7,73,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15407322387305256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2091852527593122,0.0,0.1294726065849325,0.0,0.3047522326006734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15948349278836638,0.18793993204472567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18952558978019515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2065094097499515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1664155620739767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3745026498902281,0.13228286653930188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096741767445261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18092583608643467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12359996628196515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964322195704484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2372445909843434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14725170142113728,0.0,0.0,0.147553595225021,0.0,0.19316887041535388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14255009089477638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20254191649799846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14882968589135925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11864711061523893,0.0,0.1470013865066641,0.3239159365728391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20245031914467304,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Kukuruz07,2020/01/27,Can you be psychotic while taking two separate antipsychotics? I’m having some beliefs/experiences/memories that to me are 100% accurate but the two people I’ve told about them who I trust implicitly say they’re wrong. I’ll admit some of it feels a bit far fetched but I don’t think I’m psychotic and I’m taking two different antipsychotics (geodon and haloperidol). Is it even possible to have delusions while on meds?,4.0965384615384615,6.945488333333337,4.8535256410256435,77.63105769230769,75.92307692307692,9.54102564102564,28.98076923076923,9.827888789773867,3.504815384615384,342,15,59,11,8,110,59,78,0.055999999999999994,0.85,0.095,0.4329,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,1,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,7,0,0,0,1,10,16,6,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,3,1,2,5,1,5,14,3,4,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,2,2,35,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443549823611215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23384570857879025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478319133815718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11317081695248472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2486151009727651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15516956609237598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2523249809510169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17799174828117326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3365716520688741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434157055103793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21387092429718035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6559229096536144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24471354759823,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,stephanie_rose4,2020/01/27,"Advice pls (mention of suicide) Ive been officially diagnosed w bipolar 2 for 2 years now and I don’t know how to tell my boyfriend, who I love very much, how I’m feeling. I’m currently in a weird manic-depressive state where I can’t sleep and have extreme bouts of energy but still want to slit my wrists and think about killing myself. Any advice on how to vocalize that? (Yes I’m on medication and it was just adjusted so some of it could be due to the lithium increase)",2.9684375000000003,4.701757302083333,4.4545833333333364,84.49875,74.9375,8.133333333333335,28.66666666666667,8.841846274778883,2.282754166666668,375,16,77,8,8,125,72,96,0.08199999999999999,0.8290000000000001,0.08800000000000001,-0.5346,1,0,0,0,0,2,10.0,0,0,0,0,9,3,1,0,2,1,8,6,2,3,0,16,16,9,2,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,2,1,7,1,12,12,3,11,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,1,5,47,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4841268196416697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16845412300546234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19777959975243545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21335584268054106,0.25142465764739663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12525172206921625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2740590156863523,0.0,0.13613722382878155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22357170044149596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2495459549411901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18209840965924365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2478930557991007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19782484783843796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27095908496251897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21651309393006946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15872523120945978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20439012439181334,0.14610822938202905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15951979715179426
bipolarreddit,imlikeabird84,2020/01/27,"Starting lamictal-could use some encouragement/feedback I was recently diagnosed with bipolar 2 and am going to be starting on lamictal. I hate taking medication and the thought of taking this everyday makes me feel really overwhelmed and scared. I’m scared of side effects and how the medication will change me. I have been going to therapy weekly for the past few years, consistently practice other self care like meditation and journaling, but still struggle with really high anxiety and panic, as well as frequent cycles of very low suicidal depression. I want to function better and at this point I feel like my only step forward is medication. I’d love to hear any advice or encouragement or just anything right now.",9.767451428571428,10.342243848000004,9.593485714285716,58.08760000000001,58.52,13.222857142857144,41.85714285714286,12.540900571622839,5.993434285714287,591,30,83,19,7,193,90,125,0.205,0.628,0.16699999999999998,-0.8311,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,5,15,1,5,3,0,7,6,0,4,0,22,24,13,1,1,4,0,2,2,0,1,5,1,0,1,3,9,0,0,4,0,0,4,0,8,1,0,3,3,8,7,14,19,2,21,0,3,0,1,4,8,0,3,13,52,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13745518805410012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09565631242385053,0.0,0.10760753994357128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157544489553006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244058365488347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434162760610111,0.0,0.14880381216161162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11230872149308924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211536576296322,0.14277095255305305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422478434379399,0.1004903569815595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1598851335401051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388765330173311,0.0,0.0,0.15853849952045476,0.0,0.0,0.14861919059203346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13744260561598268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12695471054673907,0.0,0.09389428169741976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.425112405753142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10698127572441143,0.0,0.16503884250360762,0.0,0.0,0.13427966073552305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13297290332054187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18022586192504014,0.0,0.1388886849398396,0.0,0.0,0.12012624830614545,0.0,0.0,0.2816583143450732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14674318189193636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19912534154259354,0.0,0.11233441552167113,0.0,0.0,0.1470525063414737,0.0,0.15386353520367627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115235754162806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16086149060501018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11167146731319116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214884930279366,0.0,0.11606249373034933,0.08296724466049303,0.0,0.1128321393348093,0.0,0.12647378788140326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905829746514812
bipolarreddit,jrt364,2020/01/27,"Does anyone have sleep tips? I need help with sleeping. I don't want to drug myself with melatonin, Benadryl, etc. because I am afraid I will oversleep and miss work. So, I am looking for some techniques that you guys use to help you go to sleep.

Just a background: I have been getting 3-4 hours of sleep a night for the past 3 nights and I am just not tired. I don't think I am hypomanic, however, but I am probably getting there. I am starting to feel jittery, restless, and distractable. So, I want to nip this in the bud.",1.9871428571428569,4.0607850952380975,2.889761904761908,93.04607142857144,79.0,5.342857142857143,26.690476190476193,6.2581,0.8550761904761908,405,17,86,3,10,128,67,105,0.1,0.843,0.057999999999999996,-0.44799999999999995,1,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,2,0,1,5,4,0,3,4,0,12,6,4,1,0,16,24,6,0,3,4,0,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,1,2,15,0,11,22,2,7,0,1,1,0,6,1,0,1,5,56,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11432392966136595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09966889157331256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14308111335874993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1896096314619176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18234719959218906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08267118376109876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17084539051854308,0.0,0.09292157220878057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16189201969453892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2191829864927497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610158725815138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372999360920832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212341624942346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3068698396230678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560805174932246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17628208455216848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6544776241157834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157270810178668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10476504865608713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18792072374404387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14121265095106136,0.0,0.0,0.19287463806007332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11903091358454335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ManicTypist,2020/01/27,"manically applied to a job... hoping I get it, tbh so I am not working due to, you guessed it, mental illness. I applied to a job that's not customer facing, where I can zone out and work with food, and I hope that, if i get the job, that I'll do well and will feel better. 

i don't know if it was the best idea, but whatever, i need a job. if it's making food, so be it. on one hand, I feel good, on the other, anxious AFFFF because I have GAD & PTSD too lol. 

but I did it! Woo! My depression didn't stop me this time and neither did my indecision. a small win. I'm rly lazy so not everything is capitalized, sorry.",0.11726431463273455,1.8203706165413536,2.8616541353383447,92.76806246385195,83.4360902255639,5.8968189705031815,21.508964719491033,7.010146845296331,0.4176146905725844,464,15,112,6,13,163,83,133,0.09699999999999999,0.655,0.248,0.9676,4,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,1,0,5,6,9,0,1,7,1,12,5,2,1,0,25,23,12,0,6,8,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,11,6,2,1,4,0,0,0,6,2,1,1,4,3,15,7,7,17,2,8,0,1,0,0,1,5,0,7,3,73,26,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589423017049886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.165721854210431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08942297114054062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15394573511442702,0.12973844370379994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12634686141691892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318386222383585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14834524118661999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3547646261837076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15328255571696142,0.0,0.0,0.12303951371396644,0.0,0.0,0.16159938362445195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29139940864436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1655990597951382,0.0,0.0,0.5822824921512879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0806188887854061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09791902307837126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14783250415696186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087713412162836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09940328437900628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17147680366088858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16421131755200458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12264230035065385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0855381357099827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13189503695525345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2135891707488975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jacob-gold97,2020/01/27,"Are these delusions? Basically, I've been thinking for the past 10 hours or so about how everything that I know might be false and existence might be fake. I started doubting science, history, that people I know have minds. For a brief moment I started thinking that maybe existence is actually a trap and the only way to escape it and get back to the true reality is suicide. I've had a few experiences like this before, where I think that all of reality might be fake, and then begin to almost *experience* it--though I can't really describe what that means; its something like the lens through which I view the world as a coherent and logical whole falls away and I'm left utterly baffled by the existence of the universe as it is.

To be clear, I do study a lot of philosophy, and these thoughts just started off as philosophical thought experiments on the nature of Being. But it's had a strange effect on the way I experienced my day today in a tangible way.

Thoughts?",6.797549407114623,7.228023695652173,7.479288537549407,71.23290513833994,64.76086956521739,11.038735177865613,36.83596837944664,10.832165505486646,4.145115217391305,776,37,140,20,11,258,114,184,0.09699999999999999,0.836,0.067,-0.755,1,0,1,0,0,1,20.0,0,0,0,1,6,6,0,1,16,0,18,0,0,2,3,32,33,15,1,0,3,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,14,7,0,0,11,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,6,2,10,3,21,19,4,24,0,0,1,0,0,8,0,7,13,98,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.12654454605098855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298512446880092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218343662143902,0.09971242671621176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103442680278642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0836299459001237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11654394468988725,0.380542456974169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06775007729944456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12770420999624288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14253248639961705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408927700565199,0.0,0.0,0.12670576219582022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11024544146811636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13027643222595114,0.14125459495358098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41269552163793743,0.13093525138681358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09862403306887302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1237899025897986,0.08990063843285853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0830734221759959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09983050684523173,0.0,0.0,0.2753548806017768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14184390942496924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24927240201869855,0.1274054840731242,0.3088434983758368,0.0,0.0,0.12291717644140315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30879104007943603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447780235457285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,teensith,2020/01/27,"Not sure where else to slap this Just found out I'm getting laid off by corporate at my job due to a restructuring. Of course this is immediately after getting a new apartment in a new town. I get some severance but I'm really nervous. While my boss told me he'd call me when applications for the store reopen I really don't want to come back to retail for a store that's pretty much dead walking for a paycut and also PT. But my resume looks pretty bad so I have no idea what other jobs I'll be able to get. I've moved a bunch, gotten laid off once before already at another job I liked, took months to find a job bc unmarried female in catholic town hell, quit the job to move a 2nd time, got a job only to lose it after 3-4 months, etc. It's been brought up in every interview I've had. IDK what to do except hope my boss actually writes me a rec letter. At least my bf is a vet and that'll make it easier for him to find a decent job.",2.469701492537311,3.4628847263681592,4.547442786069652,86.32653731343285,74.87064676616916,7.748059701492537,21.85771144278607,8.238735603445708,0.9333406965174134,734,17,165,12,15,254,128,201,0.154,0.746,0.099,-0.9142,7,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,2,6,7,1,1,14,0,10,0,0,3,1,22,27,8,1,2,5,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,10,4,0,0,5,0,3,6,3,4,0,0,8,1,14,3,29,16,5,31,1,1,1,0,8,14,1,2,12,93,24,10,0.10048999483653574,0.0,0.09806373910443192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11089320814413636,0.08036181256474248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10537252147016624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0772706031520984,0.08390494821861888,0.0,0.0,0.08550958416804445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026115201830786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08656323255943751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08394649609142753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11207290757322136,0.0,0.0,0.08466715474771977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18369206950167785,0.0,0.0,0.11018209251771001,0.0,0.0,0.21000749892202644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08037102880650994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09980923907244707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11344097248623786,0.0,0.0,0.6980456981028114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04909433553142863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08438628661076722,0.11242259987689446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0670778518709858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16042031029609852,0.21360992245305674,0.07387170873185257,0.0,0.0,0.194107726411838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10701856486226896,0.0,0.07642716932577971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20446890310805246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068834790666182,0.0,0.0,0.1287529277713277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11352509082545985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09471063088319573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05859652410831567,0.0,0.0,0.09602249647043096,0.11164808176981868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0592716025605777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hopemakermachine,2020/01/28,"I hate being bipolar. And no, I'm not going to follow that up with ""It's awesome!"". I just hate being bipolar. I just got out of a several-month-long depressive episode, probably one of the worst of my life, and now I'm hypomanic. I don't know what to do with myself. I hate feeling like this. I hate being like this. It's hell. How is anyone supposed to be happy and be bipolar at the same time?

I need help.",-0.3786997885835071,1.8146992906976749,2.414904862579281,91.67396405919662,90.97674418604653,4.9877378435517965,20.608879492600426,6.574015621080383,0.4055720930232556,313,11,68,4,11,109,55,86,0.287,0.583,0.13,-0.9565,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,0,4,10,5,0,3,0,8,4,0,1,0,14,20,4,0,1,3,0,1,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,6,6,0,0,2,0,0,2,3,7,0,1,1,1,9,3,11,14,2,7,1,1,0,0,1,3,1,0,4,49,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13759214676237122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16948508819522132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994971541196072,0.14057864491268346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11183379226563976,0.0,0.15738179310458494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2094744396750556,0.0,0.7771123681182877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13189652304051544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10814435216485406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13899051866552906,0.19227213268143548,0.0,0.0,0.17414283622672214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15706677181883302,0.0,0.0,0.14590881128674968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13334224713566598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21216057321615425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147431626894366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,greenturtlepillow,2020/01/28,"Bipolar or Just My Personality? Tl;dr at the end.

Hi I'm new here. BP1 and a student. My manic episodes which led to my diagnosis were legitimate I think. However lately I have been stable, yet engaging in similar (but not really the same severity) behavior. I have been sleeping with this guy that I met on a dating app. We had about five dates before I slept with him. I am aware and cognizant of my surroundings etc. I know that my current behavior is not due to the symptoms of of BP. 

My family is very conservative and does not approve of premarital sex. As someone in her mid-twenties I feel like I am mature enough to make those decisions for myself regardless of my family's beliefs. My mom somehow guessed what I did and while ostracizing and yelling at me mentioned that maybe I'm not even bipolar. She said many other extremely hurtful things but this particular comment is stuck in my brain.

I am afraid she is right. Maybe the ""bipolar"" is just my true personality coming out. 

I feel like such a fraud and imposter. I am ashamed of myself but I know that I did nothing wrong. These feelings are keeping me from focusing on school and have me agitated. 

I am not looking for validation but any thoughts would be appreciated, thank you. 

Tl;dr: Conservative mom found out I slept with someone and accused me of not being bipolar. I am worried she is right.",3.6339062500000026,6.207307265625005,5.043443750000002,77.14218125000002,75.953125,8.158500000000002,30.943125,8.954980946260402,3.0350576875000006,1084,53,192,26,25,361,150,256,0.09,0.815,0.095,-0.2181,2,0,0,0,1,0,32.0,1,1,0,1,8,9,0,2,7,0,25,10,4,2,1,49,46,15,0,2,13,2,3,2,0,1,5,2,0,3,12,15,0,3,10,0,0,2,6,4,0,1,13,6,41,5,27,30,3,23,1,1,1,1,17,12,0,3,11,143,53,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0893148067439468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11175954381572134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466174040901049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11313664399355455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11493536464984787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163270878091024,0.13570796631591256,0.14647734691201414,0.08674795998834152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2476288388429341,0.0,0.1992263499052944,0.18765675962228198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1440060844202148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446843641625752,0.1300459430367879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406007742149674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11673985414901132,0.0,0.0,0.1443606083364404,0.0,0.1481557526604213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1283308905384401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11029141338575801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08766958930015979,0.13315680791708456,0.2638947159780957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3076445511929352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12684771634640246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12602300645800651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2293597402229691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08413892204401291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22432503157342315,0.12493316170261302,0.0,0.0,0.13292175681407775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483753252425842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314335320314194,0.0,0.22256567607507344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365111780410557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209190113787016,0.0,0.0,0.08725558355640256,0.08415652343755027,0.0,0.10426824188764974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10836816656505407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13338080569066274,0.0,0.09329923055436024,0.14359822957079185,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,swooshmami,2020/01/28,"Went to the doctors for the first time today, scared of misdiagnosis Hi I'm sorry if this isn't the place but today I went to the doctors for the first time (for something ""more"" than depression).

I've been having some pretty wild episodes recently that have been exhausting for everyone involved. A few nights ago I found myself drunk, on facetime to one of my friends, on top of a bridge. I got over the railings and actually fell off but luckily there was a ledge about 6ft beneath me which saved my life. Last night I had a fit of rage, pulled my hair out, screamed the house down, only to be completely fine (but drained) after. 

Every ex boyfriend of mine has called me bipolar. My family always say it too. I do kind of show most of the symptoms such as the mood swings, difficulty concentrating, impulsivity to name a few. However I have symptoms that cross into other diseases- for example, the other night I heard a voice for the first time. I did tell my doctor about this but advised that I wasn't sure if it was real or not as I was quite tired and trying to go to sleep. It was my voice and it shouted ""wrestle"" at me, I also felt like I was floating. I told my doctor about the bridge thing, but didn't tell him I fell off as I was scared I would be sectioned. 

Anyway, the reason I'm putting this in here is because my doctor did 2 tests with me. One for depression which I scored 45/47 out and he googled a bipolar quiz online (even said he didn't know if it was legit) and I scored like 30/40somethjng. He said I might be bipolar and has referred me to a psych. He didn't want to put me on antidepressants incase it makes my mania worse. I'm not that manic, I'm scared they're going to diagnose me incorrectly. I feel like maybe I have bpd and OCD or something else. 

Can anyone give me advice on how to get the right diagnosis? I tried to write everything down as I left loads of stuff out when speaking to him today as my thoughts are disorganized. I am really paranoid that the doctors and everyone think I'm lying about something. Any other advice is welcome",3.988439811172306,5.438489675609759,4.735381589299767,84.66885523210071,71.75609756097559,7.534225019669553,26.884343036978755,8.049812674583475,1.5853304484657746,1637,56,327,23,31,527,213,410,0.13,0.7809999999999999,0.08900000000000001,-0.9457,1,0,4,0,0,0,47.0,0,0,0,5,13,18,1,3,23,0,34,18,2,3,1,45,58,26,0,5,12,1,3,3,1,2,15,9,0,0,21,13,1,0,8,2,0,10,7,8,0,5,26,12,46,9,56,27,6,49,0,2,0,0,24,22,0,8,20,220,67,10,0.0,0.0,0.07755143675839575,0.0,0.0,0.1553146898778422,0.07044552396452777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06355227815928774,0.0661255600673884,0.0,0.0,0.054042450886324214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05556740106163704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04844428710444052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10008991590615073,0.0,0.08114794409059227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08332297689269069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13689510762523238,0.08066056484755622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4880466101615509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06638714209938824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05248930763069128,0.0,0.066957058306115,0.1518743345994515,0.07142267792837176,0.0,0.07491741766610124,0.0,0.04018251330146223,0.0567735159773004,0.07630384010106013,0.0,0.0,0.20279189605661554,0.0,0.08713495587492565,0.061398467725745816,0.0,0.04151989160360383,0.07623504276564178,0.09032947494890167,0.0,0.06355956661062669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09169792351277578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08275596838033784,0.04367473530065445,0.06477880744445633,0.0,0.0,0.08634458842936471,0.0,0.05613214181323163,0.11647535445614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053046965522311945,0.0,0.0798384822591203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08430530761839873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22373215523509554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10770210799667272,0.060440656686356564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08302942886240952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08084974809881605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15977897129016178,0.0,0.08452632382826962,0.0,0.09045446866314476,0.05091063540256723,0.0817085858262191,0.07846722024228853,0.0,0.0,0.0678671036938759,0.15118868867382398,0.06319788073865039,0.23869055633682185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07952757732530724,0.0,0.0,0.18354009271281674,0.0,0.0889603656848442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09097434864471246,0.0,0.0,0.07489970878495665,0.16519990141988425,0.0,0.0,0.13892088879988362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052796459633206685,0.05092128562373943,0.0,0.06309044991130301,0.13901911170678016,0.09133928701549164,0.2259853292644116,0.07593716729972574,0.0,0.1079100779854298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04687357406033958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14733931517519874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08098690774927668,0.05645333924777905,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,azade__,2020/01/28,"Making a Movie in my head to pass the time... I've been doing this as long as I can remember. Sometimes I pass whole plane rides doing this lmao.

I just invent a plot and then I think about how I would make it a movie. Or, I think of a movie I've already watched and how I'd adapt it into a new culture or time period.


It gets really out of hand and sometimes I just spend months researching different things so I can make my imaginary movie more realistic lol. 


Does anyone else do this while manic?",2.291666666666668,4.1279824803921565,3.6378431372549014,89.16696078431373,77.13725490196076,7.2784313725490195,21.13725490196079,8.167268648758528,0.9265019607843136,391,10,84,7,9,128,65,102,0.0,0.8809999999999999,0.11900000000000001,0.9036,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,6,1,7,2,2,5,0,18,13,12,0,1,4,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,0,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,10,0,9,11,2,14,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,2,8,53,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22618949712903724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433197931019155,0.2100159920873064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21415002930821206,0.0,0.0,0.17937063241360549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1712261377809971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070883676499797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21035835870769007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18139200416211645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4104572093398288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.163605102252952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979613078236835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13130903359128654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23219105885227015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4054411515081657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13617296340261653,0.2626730054185073,0.0,0.0,0.23903931617421156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22884169038770236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14560481048824453,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lexi2564,2020/01/28,Psychosis/hallucinations So I know I know I’ve seen lots of you say you’ve also had hallucinations or episodes of psychosis and I was just wondering what the doctors told you about that? I had a pretty bad one but no one can seem to tell me what initially triggered it. For a long time I was scared to leave the house cause I didn’t know if it would just happen again,1.1998666666666686,3.697738320000002,2.449333333333332,92.34466666666668,85.8,5.466666666666668,20.333333333333336,6.937597516519254,0.3163333333333336,294,9,64,4,9,94,52,75,0.145,0.825,0.03,-0.7964,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,2,0,0,6,2,0,1,4,0,7,1,0,2,0,15,15,6,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,5,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,2,0,2,7,2,9,0,6,7,1,3,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,5,3,44,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17912595637329007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1870235826500692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23010101643635755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22926483605831724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19807498213188054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2584561674642389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3692996831901942,0.0,0.0,0.2371747026908284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19822546735291835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1904296002301777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3035649335806531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278799261049547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17812706571592005,0.22425461063694604,0.0,0.0,0.2039134886253965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19577848180466806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306112702796057,0.0,0.0,0.2140335187158671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24290927403502874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15911716583752986,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bigTpose,2020/01/28,"No matter what I do, it feels like I will never be content I am a 21 year old male, and while I do not experience full blown episodes of mania or psychosis, I do flip between hypomania and depressive episodes quite quickly. It seems that regardless of what ""phase"" I am in, I can not find anything that makes me truly feel content. My doctor has offered to put me on mood stabilizers, despite me not having huge outbursts of anger and/or psychotic episodes (her words were that these were the two instances in which she would want me to be on mood stabilizers). Would mood stabilizers make me feel ""content?"" I have heard many say they feel dead inside on mood stabilizers, but I need to find a way to stop what feels like a slow descent into madness due to always needing something else to fill whatever hole there is inside of me. At first I thought it was boredom, but I have come to discover that the emotion I'm feeling isn't boredom. My goal in life is to have my own charity and help cancer patients pay their medical bills, but even that seems less and less likely to grant me the bliss I seek. I have interned for a number of notable politicians, which gives me solid means for starting my own charity, but yet as I draw closer to my goal it seems so much smaller and unfulfilling. I don't know what to do anymore, does anyone else ever feel this way or have any recommendations? I feel like I'm trapped inside my own head clawing my way out.",7.9482642089093725,6.950474602150539,7.619418842805942,75.93008064516133,62.83512544802868,10.265335381464414,37.132872503840254,9.23628265651192,3.243078648233487,1150,48,218,16,14,365,157,279,0.11599999999999999,0.762,0.122,-0.1868,0,1,1,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,2,4,6,11,2,0,7,0,26,5,1,2,2,46,51,14,1,6,9,0,8,4,0,3,4,2,0,1,17,8,0,1,16,0,2,3,7,3,0,2,5,10,35,4,29,41,7,30,0,1,0,0,10,12,0,5,16,146,52,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09452300294686143,0.0,0.0,0.077250835216788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126591284857035,0.07943067111939534,0.11639502706676327,0.0934818375836369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978549980764396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09784217062421778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11627281776137542,0.09941076109139756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18979384134967567,0.12778295599478734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07503069879178867,0.10275629335871184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11112107295757637,0.0,0.0,0.4595102794545051,0.2434642464679541,0.0,0.0,0.20765383380757488,0.09662677573303737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10897397564039203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11658477343631475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07614264033191237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06243073222094521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08023793825895208,0.22199384043073195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15165568271263433,0.11517098901513707,0.0,0.12374200458133293,0.0,0.11443847796799116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08350792480970759,0.16846360894064155,0.0876141206851451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11920245433012044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11419780912793205,0.0,0.12082592492471332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09033803965073584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.310247262201118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08745362966393387,0.0,0.0,0.08040556110313789,0.0,0.0,0.0949733831302626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09018447294521996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109691701859301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0670033036320624,0.2705074642615401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613941461256416,0.0,0.0,0.07315367141942328
bipolarreddit,illknox,2020/01/28,"Geodone and Marijuana? Google searches have yielded conflicting user accounts of mixing the two. I've also searched Reddit and found little info.Was recently prescribed 40mg of Geodone and wondering if marijuana in moderation is a good idea or not. I understand that everyone is different.  My psychiatrist is aware that I smoke from time to time recreationally,but admits she isn't fully educated about it due to lack of studies. I live in Illinois so it's fair game here now. It doesn't have bad effects with my other meds. Buspar 60mg and lamotrigine 300 mg.  Thanks for any info.",4.405445969125218,7.366266216981135,5.645540308747858,71.75031732418526,75.50943396226415,8.760205831903946,31.33447684391081,9.339509955726095,3.609879245283018,473,23,75,13,11,157,81,106,0.047,0.825,0.127,0.8140000000000001,1,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,5,3,0,0,2,0,7,0,0,1,0,18,12,8,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,2,7,1,1,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,6,2,11,11,1,8,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,3,5,45,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19748043674159607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679298856426262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20618730825222212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2580031487314613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23596486857140164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2707605398269309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.207124291327918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27876888382682313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2475020220174033,0.2180554238256905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2742982937895205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2438266789509504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2273521770142663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2879892029097048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2412276839063953,0.2570766438025449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2677994328474353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,7_stark,2020/01/28,"Find your inner circle Finding a core group of people who accept you for who you are, illness and all, is a critical component of maintaining a healthy lifestyle. At least it is in my experience.

I was diagnosed with OCD at age 15, MDD around the same time, BDII and PTSD at 36. It's a fun little party. Every disease under the sun seemed to show up for it.

I've been on and off of so many med combinations, I honestly couldn't remember them all if I tried. The meds help, to varying degrees (especially Lamotrigine, in my case). But you really need an inner circle beyond the meds.

And make no mistake: that inner circle might be small. It might always be small. This world doesn't really understand mental health, and of the range of mental health disorders, BP is *far* from the most socially accepted. It'll be a long time before it is. Probably not in our lifetimes.

So it's incumbent on us to find the people in our lives who really do care about us, and won't make fun of us, stigmatize us, or shun us behind our backs. Again, most people will do these things.

I don't know if I'd be here today if it weren't for the 3 or 4 close friends who don't judge me.",3.7980055541529936,4.979456939914165,5.252289825801566,81.81795001262309,71.87553648068668,8.915829336026254,25.293865185559202,9.325443323948027,1.9982115122443829,909,27,184,20,17,306,140,233,0.046,0.831,0.12300000000000001,0.9593,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,8,4,1,0,8,8,0,0,14,0,23,4,0,2,2,37,30,14,0,6,7,0,0,0,1,5,4,1,0,0,16,9,0,0,9,1,0,0,8,1,0,0,3,1,20,7,30,17,6,30,0,0,0,0,21,23,0,10,7,127,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0828161988143134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08860201591224634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07653174773899736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08469194826826744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10147656848930207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10101995912144203,0.0,0.0,0.11406899137477343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08385757409161851,0.0,0.0,0.0973585749882276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2729034306310124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07689594923487493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21158959527651736,0.0,0.0,0.06671226943053647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05469860002902749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09975432290362622,0.08788603414991694,0.08808013692814531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328729174834895,0.1009069033627798,0.0,0.0,0.3316632366987637,0.0,0.20060388174526653,0.2111693302774897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07379957944654024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20700287442707616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10730922238629034,0.0,0.11634421211969045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19128270364584973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11274708800791927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906075704573502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10145740122403676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06612272309254716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160724575324584,0.0,0.09434196569076024,0.0,0.0,0.06757373747308942,0.0,0.0,0.10361332132897218,0.5986063678650483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lrosenberg101,2020/01/28,Bipolar and ADHD Hey y’all! I was wondering if anyone else here was diagnosed with ADHD with their bipolar diagnosis or some time after!,3.649066666666666,6.7552608400000045,5.596,69.78466666666668,80.6,8.133333333333335,28.333333333333336,8.841846274778883,3.3415333333333344,111,5,16,3,3,38,21,25,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,7,3,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,3,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,4,2,13,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7396534696187222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21516910613389187,0.3153015526551459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3123353136356345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2570655051594778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17943744851587576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33371561474274336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sonderpod,2020/01/28,"Can’t stop thinking about SH (trigger) Hi all,

So, it’s been a few years since I’ve self harmed, and I’m proud of that, however every now and then the ‘memories’ and thoughts plague my mind maliciously. It gets to the point where it’s all im thinking about.

I get super anxious, ashamed of my scars, and it dominates my mind. I don’t think I’d self harm again, or at least I hope I won’t, but at the moment I keep getting really consuming memories of when I did and can’t stop thinking about my scars, to the point it’s affecting my everyday life and sending me very close to panic & anxiety attacks.

I use weed to slow my very very very fast mind (atm) and it helps calm my mind, but I don’t like relying on it like that and feel like I’m falling down a hole, I really don’t want to start drinking because of my feelings (been there, done that) and I feel like if I stopped smoking I’d end up back on the glass of wine to calm my mind down.

The ironic thing is that my life is currently the best it’s ever been, and I’m overwhelmingly happy (super stressed by how busy I am, but happy!) and the ‘resurgence’ of these memories and thoughts to the forefront of my mind is scaring me and affecting my studies/everyday life (I’m currently at uni).

I would just like some advice on if people have been through similar things, what helped and what didn’t, I’m thinking of starting therapy again soon, but money is an issue.

Thanks, hope everyone is well!",4.08249152542373,4.835687986440682,5.002500000000001,85.46849576271188,70.83050847457628,8.747457627118644,29.665254237288128,8.982922981607832,2.220657627118644,1136,44,242,21,20,371,145,295,0.11800000000000001,0.705,0.177,0.9721,3,0,2,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,0,4,16,25,1,5,12,0,21,5,0,5,3,56,47,25,0,6,8,0,3,5,0,2,3,0,0,2,17,15,2,4,10,2,2,2,7,8,1,0,9,3,27,17,29,36,6,36,0,1,0,0,6,13,0,6,26,147,44,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847319813856061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09395021875729287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06633289147195325,0.09795758768381743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09864511134643708,0.0,0.06667461640960531,0.0,0.052857594299687886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909967663460528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08873440671970162,0.0,0.08494276202032469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0767992985722726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0784341341826848,0.07305689143107985,0.08285509440448571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13152950201030925,0.12389124306960528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13590714510994273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18460875575213487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11623973332648033,0.0,0.0,0.17224513483325335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09366164958724704,0.090502683120534,0.0,0.07707180746058304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18373745325675653,0.21181056287338992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5253141227155588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017354697838961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0601137769873864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16393790192206675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11109725717902293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08681180894676334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18091482369713693,0.0,0.0,0.07172738512061827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12274752937189128,0.0,0.0,0.21748025836874932,0.09932598030436578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07983089263935204,0.09916041017120418,0.0,0.11521250535632654,0.2778012452650409,0.0,0.13767606481263533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07488957583584932,0.0,0.28617923259342964,0.051143788238978916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07796267854448945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061596276489498225,0.0,0.0,0.05583837926147444
bipolarreddit,_shellybean,2020/01/28,"Does anyone else feel ashamed? My story. I'm currently 23, I only found out I was Bipolar just under 3 years ago, and I'm still struggling with the diagnosis. Before I was diagnosed I was told I had Dysthymia (Chronic Depression) I always hoped and dreamed that one day I wouldn't be depressed anymore, that I'd be ""normal"" and wouldn't need meds, but then I was diagnosed, and for my family and myself, it actually made sense, because my previous diagnosis didn't seem to fit... But it just made me feel worse, almost?
I don't know anyone irl who's Bipolar, I have some online friends, but those aren't people I can physically go to, I wish I had someone who really understood it. I was hoping for a day where I wouldn't have to be on medications, but I've seen myself so many times without them, and I'm a COMPLETELY different person, I'm scared of that person. I've realized that for the rest of my life I'm going to have to come out to people, I'm going to be on medications and I'm going to need doctors.
My mom and I are so angry, I was in a really bad place in High School, I ended up being put in a program to treat mentally ill adolescents, I was there for FIVE months, missed the first two months of my senior year, and they didn't pick up on it(although, we did realize I have C-PTSD). We could have known sooner and I could have gotten the proper treatment when I really needed it, and they missed it.
I would never in a MILLION years judge someone for their mental illness, but I'm ashamed of my own. So much of the world treats Bipolar like it's a joke, you tell someone you're Bipolar and it's so wildly misunderstood that people think you're crazy... That's why I'm ashamed, because I know telling someone could also mean losing them or facing judgment. Everyday I have to analyze myself and my emotions and it's exhausting knowing that I'm going to have to do this for another 60 odd years.",4.431050411729267,5.280205462140994,5.7137467362924275,80.33496635870657,70.09660574412533,8.712151034344245,28.829985940952,8.950670267944501,2.2620838320947985,1504,54,295,27,26,505,184,383,0.151,0.784,0.065,-0.9882,2,0,0,0,0,0,50.0,2,1,5,2,11,19,0,5,11,0,37,15,1,3,1,62,76,27,0,14,9,1,2,1,1,4,14,0,0,2,19,20,0,0,13,2,0,7,9,12,0,5,19,3,45,7,37,45,4,43,0,5,1,0,17,17,0,6,20,191,64,4,0.0,0.0,0.08525739071091541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774453938124968,0.0,0.08748522672959398,0.0,0.0,0.0698671957100599,0.07269617361451526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09161170393073732,0.0,0.0,0.08664438611055175,0.12217779118293992,0.08951760769035727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07294762588275218,0.10651597664766424,0.0,0.07434270907393323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07525875932244824,0.09160242405654252,0.0,0.0,0.2092658340536958,0.0,0.0,0.11268871231900655,0.0,0.15049778785631215,0.17735091907054146,0.0,0.09127970741638444,0.0,0.0894236184115065,0.07645527249609345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07298374793212133,0.09827588697319813,0.07738104998593821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08236164042853973,0.0,0.08835055492169037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07431415259255635,0.0,0.09579318305540813,0.06749937036309946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24826281950207116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09230781742253448,0.0,0.1735498843889016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14404351978639213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06170975221156171,0.04268300377204992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0977410978815932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16533715084734654,0.0,0.08857621903428786,0.0,0.0951680539974996,0.09704481563510364,0.17602571232779898,0.17609036425104715,0.0,0.0,0.10232293630881767,0.13947068710398206,0.0,0.06422464808452176,0.19434411806872232,0.06738265956267829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08560091098208175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059202002475263235,0.06644638574507307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817074088584416,0.1525706338671586,0.09127970741638444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10212710996625966,0.08782776149662178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679082212511452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08746940469980427,0.08841986249262952,0.0,0.07953545039570849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2961024131160579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06977123665479965,0.0,0.0,0.09133474521575324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15272486222554826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05598111557172754,0.0,0.0,0.05094428170726832,0.0,0.0,0.08348271821349547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0853446654274215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07883494493371268,0.0,0.10046750445570676,0.08421847427172859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08903422973271265,0.06206286565880662,0.0,0.0,0.2250454104186785
bipolarreddit,RadicalSans,2020/01/28,"Should I Inform my Professors? I'm in a pickle. 

So, I'm normally a fairly-high functioning bipolar person (or at least I thought I was) but I recently had a pretty severe, debilitating mixed psychotic episode which has lasted for awhile. 

Anyway, the plot thickens, I'm a college student! Bipolar and college don't mix very well obviously (haha), especially when you also have comorbidities such as OCD or anxiety. 

I've done extremely well in college but of course this episode had to occur right in the beginning of the spring semester so I got de-railed and am behind in a class.

I thankfully was able to get back on medication pretty quickly (was unmedicated, not too smart, I know) and am in the process of receiving treatment again but now I am faced with a predicament I've tried desperately to avoid. 

I'm private about my mental health and have never wanted to claim disability or accommodations for my illness. I don't want to be treated any differently or thought of any differently. Should I be honest with my professors about my mental health issues? Is it necessary to seek accommodations? I don't know how to approach the topic as it's a delicate subject overall. How should I proceed?",5.364429223744288,7.622599986301374,6.6125342465753425,69.32418949771693,69.68493150684931,9.615525114155252,34.08447488584475,9.994966539143718,3.969951598173517,963,48,156,26,18,324,129,219,0.11800000000000001,0.799,0.083,-0.6922,2,1,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,1,0,0,17,8,0,1,12,1,21,7,1,2,2,30,35,19,0,6,8,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,1,4,6,0,1,5,0,0,2,5,1,2,0,9,0,18,7,27,21,1,21,0,0,0,0,4,8,0,4,11,111,22,7,0.15207407561698294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12161358332805106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2068311725236115,0.0,0.11633625160194265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11693557717698044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3177700834053718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15562457834748664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07945242788387104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12162753050209285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32329526215295873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16067461033547029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15872582485889486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16715186975686666,0.12396066868433492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.153198632179923,0.3065098000352134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11728890218520042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14900030572112324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13278521705820834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30942801303906864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15015480331858866,0.0,0.0,0.1298704296582711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17180041928252726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14000937703169686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24145965840159805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10324831493943594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12547703886961187,0.17939445980466698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27346571468388386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,maplewalnuticecream,2020/01/28,"About to pass out, feeling defeated I really feel like I could pass out just sitting here right now. I’ve skipped all of my classes today because I don’t have the energy to walk to them. I’ve had a lot of water and decided to eat a breakfast sandwich but purged right after. I know I should eat something to help, but I really can’t bring myself to. I really hate this. My friends don’t know about my ED and are worried. :( I just feel so defeated that I can’t help myself. I don't even know if I can make it back to my dorm without passing out.",1.7265217391304368,3.356273173913049,3.670652173913045,89.22858695652175,78.13043478260869,7.034782608695654,24.54347826086957,7.908726449838941,1.2729304347826087,425,15,93,7,10,144,68,115,0.154,0.713,0.134,-0.6598,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,2,9,5,1,0,3,0,11,5,0,1,1,23,20,6,0,3,6,0,3,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,3,5,5,0,7,0,0,5,6,3,0,0,1,3,18,2,16,17,2,15,0,2,0,0,4,5,0,2,5,65,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14911125080216153,0.0,0.11821083382017344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15482803307769571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3968537929688975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12808124946272278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2941528518387877,0.1385353168292253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14982084573758006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19145423580524093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2599587813560213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3197173816781684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09473871666282606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16486245710711012,0.0,0.0,0.1294420126877602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3726872055074998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3312104438369523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14928782935222693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18381193325493195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.186930381339036,0.0,0.0,0.19693351001569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SwanOfTuonela,2020/01/29,"Any of you going through a major depressive phase right now? I so am. Typically this time of year (it’s Winter in my hemisphere), I tend to be manic. But this year? Ohhh no. I woke up today just so overwhelmed by the weight of depression that I can barely breathe. Everything I eat, tastes mediocre. All I have the energy for is watching TV and movies, and everything sucks. Not because it’s sucks objectively, it’s just all my experiences are colored by idk, this oppressive blackness that just spoils everything. I know with these moods, in order to feel better, you have to rationalize through them. Tell yourself it won’t always feel like this. But it’s absolutely impossible when you’re totally enveloped in, and overwhelmed by this oppressive darkness. It’s worse than darkness, it’s just gray and bland, like the part of your brain that is capable of producing and registering joy has been surgically removed. Anyone around with me here?",4.543352941176469,7.423098629411768,4.8994117647058815,77.74735294117649,74.47058823529412,8.470588235294116,30.0,9.168548406835145,3.0915294117647063,757,34,128,19,17,239,109,170,0.157,0.736,0.107,-0.8465,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,3,1,3,10,11,2,2,4,0,11,5,2,1,3,22,19,10,0,0,7,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,16,8,3,0,3,1,0,2,3,6,0,0,2,8,14,4,22,15,5,16,0,4,4,0,5,6,2,0,9,89,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15648365861922633,0.0,0.0,0.1278894337805774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314981711946998,0.0,0.0,0.1674161312580181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11464158908563568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1663266290752659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20994074191099835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3239571395151612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19243561689881286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5070572682888894,0.1839619087839496,0.0,0.0,0.1901808222877976,0.13435239692111908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068806578481366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10335462356927913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18375637283266785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.203654133017986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1606049563147019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16437553735564947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10966117184591558,0.0,0.17826193623931647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290103288704245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19165248070412455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422130865134599
bipolarreddit,bipolarSamanth0r,2020/01/29,"Mania and trauma have ruined me. Everyday I wake up knowing that I""ll never really progress. This disorder has ruined my life. Every time I've tried to have a job or study, eventually I get too excited and the mania takes hold.   


I wish I had answers, so all I do is take my meds and mostly stay in my house all day. I'm lucky I have a successful marriage and my partner is wonderful. Right now it's 7am and i've been throwing plates around the kitchen again. She's gone to the pharmacy to get some more medication for me.  
My depression is really bad today, and I'm not seeing my psychiatrist till next week.  


Fucking hell I hate this disease.",3.044197443181816,4.946261445312505,4.804431818181818,81.34284090909092,75.171875,8.404545454545454,26.48011363636364,9.095868883498916,2.28075625,507,19,99,12,11,172,89,128,0.214,0.679,0.107,-0.9475,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,5,11,3,0,5,0,10,5,1,0,3,20,23,9,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,1,4,7,1,1,3,0,0,2,2,8,0,0,3,1,16,3,8,20,5,17,1,3,1,1,3,4,2,5,10,61,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1748262671171424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1639751301105146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12665351367428426,0.0,0.16914802946944352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2250767745016148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654647075124904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815568253422595,0.20520843937712807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19389172691129905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266044906599261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1948840181651678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10792928311111663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13871410516145344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21814193509043991,0.19783946860819945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1514659351181865,0.0,0.20886004217917925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2516213707492432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677136174514624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15649519230534936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2093226521263913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2953175056205995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11451497043594895,0.0,0.18615212672525044,0.0,0.0,0.13333403485169612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15752998632239992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258356172068157,0.0,0.2129735686299545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,uplate6674,2020/01/29,"I’m so depressed today...what should I do? I have bipolar type 1...spent 6 weeks in November and December in the hospital. Had 15 sessions of ECT, which stopped the suicidal ideation. Everyone tells me that I seem better, but I’m having a rough day today. I’ve tried reading, but I can’t concentrate. Does anyone have any ideas about what I can do to get to Friday, which is the next time I see my therapist?",2.12361111111111,4.360854987654321,3.655046296296295,86.89145833333335,79.37037037037038,7.50679012345679,26.174382716049386,8.472884824447931,1.988023456790124,318,13,64,7,8,105,62,81,0.095,0.877,0.027000000000000003,-0.6002,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,4,0,10,1,0,0,0,7,15,4,1,1,2,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,8,1,6,13,0,8,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,1,6,36,12,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1570107615199515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16144123394263066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20420037778070216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14890271457720405,0.0,0.19886223463296568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2020503630599747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22062197901566816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12062868526485294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2606427948796636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24555044976619256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309490165921196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839866757465209,0.21019043035145324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1930314820229677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2525523953446649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20180500869010284,0.0,0.0,0.26807706319683866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13463179554175464,0.0,0.4377068774419238,0.0,0.0,0.15675680175764595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18520325185007327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lotsofscarsdontask,2020/01/29,Do y’all just hate everything sometimes Do y’all go through periods of just like kind of wanting to claw your skin off and hide and like hating everyone around you and hating yourself? I feel like for me it’s maybe a mixed episode? Because I’m very low in mood but amped up and very irritable. I just want to be left alone but at the same time I really want connection?? I hate this feeling. I can’t really feel much positive for others (or myself) right now and I’m just trying to get through the day.,1.5845989304812846,3.9513589215686267,2.9498930481283416,90.429064171123,82.33333333333333,6.846345811051696,22.998217468805706,8.00094639256281,1.2803019607843131,398,14,84,8,11,129,70,102,0.2,0.6579999999999999,0.142,-0.8235,0,1,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,4,0,0,6,10,4,0,3,0,4,1,1,0,0,20,18,8,0,3,7,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,5,0,0,0,4,11,4,14,17,2,13,0,1,0,0,4,8,0,1,7,50,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1627088434553516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17021843542374618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13985284204986298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09576706814487944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10131689096285132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501163565446575,0.14119189017086786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23830435245816176,0.11223270066294684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0820785798746095,0.0,0.08928389186812613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6204172749471745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635961005306826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17069026253249553,0.0,0.0,0.2302542544046994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15782866934565914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11548701787782314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2012853354363785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341630547733101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15537651132794594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09160662374603286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10666099564712812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2592488972732733,0.2779860142158513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,crystallized_eyes,2020/01/29,"Is this a mixed episode? Please help. In Buddhism or Hinduism or some other awesome system of thought (I can't remember which) there is a description of a creature which is basically a ghost, which is always hungry (in humans this would translate to the need for fun, love, stimulation etc) but it has a long neck and hole where its stomach should be. It tries to eat but only becomes emptier and emptier, unable to satisfy itself. This is how I feel. I feel hungry for fun, experiences, thrills but everything I do feels empty. I have a growing emptiness inside myself that causes frustration and angry outbursts. Think sexual frustration - only it's not sexual, it's existential, emotional, all-consuming need which can't be fullfiled. Is this a symptom of a mixed episode? Feeling a great desire to be happy but unable to satisfy it because all activities seem empty.",6.7344868035190615,8.463946741935484,7.33900293255132,67.54304985337245,65.45161290322581,10.281524926686217,36.02639296187682,10.436869588844218,4.3790645161290325,695,34,104,18,11,229,95,155,0.14300000000000002,0.606,0.251,0.9641,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,0,3,8,2,0,10,0,16,5,2,3,1,28,26,10,1,5,7,0,4,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,17,3,1,0,8,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,1,4,6,6,12,20,3,6,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,4,1,77,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1570726177504194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11507306679584668,0.20848276986781847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19391984552718428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1931598887795919,0.0,0.21234199905044748,0.0,0.0,0.21052959602016927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16965522828875335,0.18465428808365428,0.0,0.0,0.381793215550514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20812072521779187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2009502699017935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12652924120582287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16705641984534095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17037322323298007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2799426512810355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2871377468744472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2072139022938576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2138407764506092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17185005450022905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962053776307415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12095685275083433,0.0,0.14986311061140414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281631370195575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13409752246127712,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ke_marshall,2020/01/29,"Let's Talk Twitter thread on Bipolar with CRESTBD [CREST.BD](https://CREST.BD) is a research group at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver Canada that focuses on bipolar disorder.  As part of Bell's Let's Talk Day they are hosting an open Q & A with researchers, practicing psychiatrists, and people with BD with lots of links to resources.  You can access (and ask questions) here:  [https://twitter.com/hashtag/TalkBD?src=hashtag\_click&f=live](https://twitter.com/hashtag/TalkBD?src=hashtag_click&f=live)",16.974626865671645,21.570485567164184,10.065850746268662,46.76235820895525,44.07462686567165,10.733134328358213,41.75820895522389,10.793553405168565,5.348912835820896,451,19,47,9,5,116,54,67,0.049,0.951,0.0,-0.4696,0,0,0,0,0,0,45.0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,5,2,0,0,0,10,6,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,7,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,13,4,2,6,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,2,1,30,3,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6587657485913649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18946540088203875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13070283751176925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2322728539613406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4144795387978805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17895783708892812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1722994301566225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21946758484807047,0.0,0.14050312254568664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22703236074628785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32579059177695546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jaydenh,2020/01/29,"Caffeine Breaks and hypomania For some reason when i have caffeine breaks I get the usual headache for a day and feel like shit, but on my next sleep i wake up and feel pretty darn good, plus i feel way less general fatigue.  


Last time i took a break from caffeine, i got off weed and nicotine at the same time and became hypomanic. I feel like I'm in the prodrome at the moment, since I feel barely any desire to sleep.  
And I'm being quite productive, I was recently depressed.  


And was wondering if other people have experienced the same thing.",4.5107857142857135,6.136314019047616,5.149702380952379,81.5188392857143,70.71428571428571,7.916666666666668,27.410714285714285,8.472884824447931,1.9397857142857151,432,15,81,7,8,139,68,105,0.081,0.77,0.149,0.8151,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,1,6,1,0,7,0,5,5,4,1,0,22,16,11,0,2,2,0,5,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,8,0,0,7,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,4,6,10,3,11,11,4,20,0,2,0,0,0,6,2,3,11,49,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223407771386106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11602309066636192,0.0,0.15495090968924602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4548239230511529,0.25704667170496204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09399232866363552,0.0,0.0,0.15089480153203533,0.14388553158134254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466456371776561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17578385322349466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1913297697579414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247226673602803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830268770503356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19134987359422712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18497110558333568,0.177633333553667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18466870160142299,0.148818311597668,0.0,0.36006751930605496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195201142020804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20980674617073067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19987978048859265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19813865791070934,0.0,0.0,0.14279929059097002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19509803514996327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,PalomaMisa,2020/01/29,"Medicine Allergy Been on Seroquel for the last 2 years. Long story short 2 months ago I developed severe sinus swelling to the point I could not breathe at all through my nose (no mucus, just swelling), and eventually could not swallow. Would come on within an hour of taking Seroquel. This developed out of the blue. I'm so angry because Seroquel has been the med that worked best for me so far (Latuda was hell and didn't help at all, Lamictal helped a little). Now we need to play the medicine roulette again... 

Has anyone else ever suddenly developed an allergy to their medicine??",4.93911734164071,7.208217906542058,4.485919003115266,84.07618899273105,70.86915887850466,7.746209761163032,31.515057113187954,8.515128840125781,2.5685231568016613,464,21,83,8,9,140,78,107,0.12300000000000001,0.82,0.057999999999999996,-0.8156,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,1,0,1,2,6,3,1,0,8,0,9,4,2,0,3,15,13,4,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,0,1,0,1,4,1,0,0,4,2,6,2,14,6,3,21,1,0,1,0,4,10,1,0,10,53,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19611799004747849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.154697791925827,0.2266889278992689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13486728015522886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23218019175128204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905806902799148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35328802002594634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18481959024230304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20012636762417746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29658816083886896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21787914417525528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803420401852152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2217429523703976,0.0,0.19579251343829068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.245750370034448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17659352918778776,0.0,0.0,0.1640483956367436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20914552808842424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2499408759804609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16634670966365028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16106706231132514,0.0,0.0,0.15716421429866606,0.0,0.0,0.14247281661314015
bipolarreddit,twelvebucksagram,2020/01/29,"Im more scared of the cure than I am of feeling the same way ive felt my entire life I cant bring it upon myself to try more meds. Ive tried several in the past. Theyve always made me feel worse than I felt before. I can hardly bear taking them for more than a few days because the side effects, (extreme suicidal feelings, racing heart, unable to sleep,) but theyre the only way i can ever feel better apparently.

I feel incredibly jealous of all of the people on here trying meds. I feel like im weak because i cant get over this 'six month hump' you have to try with every med. 

I feel weaker and weaker every day.",2.582093023255812,3.829703992248064,4.442550387596898,86.18801162790699,74.96899224806202,6.4003100775193795,21.427131782945736,6.742157984588678,0.4529652713178294,481,11,100,4,10,164,85,129,0.17300000000000001,0.764,0.063,-0.9386,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,1,2,2,5,1,1,7,0,8,5,2,2,2,17,21,2,1,0,1,0,10,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,10,0,0,1,2,3,0,1,3,10,16,2,16,18,6,13,0,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,6,58,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10384857516025114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15216113664136316,0.0,0.106200698427675,0.0,0.0,0.1103807489745881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609790671105641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11289415614578005,0.21030884562416444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4417395820804349,0.0891614185962577,0.23966663014045864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06520597450438538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118016456268521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14789568978317766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2696237551050394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881541561546956,0.0609738986922684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11809443800714775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41589393207275377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09961894424576537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09492057340960876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191414320679592,0.08652475349469456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12495256072702468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14099523523627022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248961155529466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13651748765816868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938385662921316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33894027764144896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1981303588049429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12718795829972693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,penguinator13,2020/01/29,"My brain won't shut up-psych ward made me 1000 x's worse I  was at the psych ward from the 31st-9th of this month. They made me  100xs worse! Then last week I was inpatient at a medical hospital for my  epilepsy and they ripped me off of tegretol! I have had so many med  changes in the last month. They removed me off geodon, buspar, and  trileptal/tegretol and upped my lamictal. My brain is going nuts!

Im  so happy my psychiatrist comes today. My brain wont shut up. Last night  I focused on deep breathing and counting my breaths at the same time.  Meanwhile the same lyrics from ""anyone"" by demi Lovato played  obsessively  AND I was going over conversations from yesterday and of  course past regrets . Theres not enough sleeping meds in this  world  able to shut my head up. Doesn't help that I forgot that I'm out of   Valium. UGH! It has been near impossible to fall asleep since they took  away my tegretol last week!

I've  also been on edge and snapping at people in an instant. I was SCREAMING  at my mom the other night and ended up balling. My mood doesn't know  what it wants to do! I really hope my psychiatrist can help me out  today.",3.3629053575643155,5.303178852017937,3.909341515223037,87.93914562190231,74.38116591928251,7.026575407127685,24.74132641019589,7.85451343220497,1.2333192825112105,896,29,182,13,19,282,131,223,0.11,0.8370000000000001,0.054000000000000006,-0.8948,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,4,0,4,8,0,1,8,0,16,9,8,2,0,21,27,12,0,3,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,8,11,0,1,1,2,0,6,5,4,0,0,11,1,29,3,33,14,3,49,0,1,0,0,8,26,0,1,17,111,37,1,0.11949191194720772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955576388129433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08355152315882589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11226658470761064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40017747624306604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264065987780434,0.10293170160555412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10583436690672716,0.12346708724294406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13582001450357914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272013622108767,0.0,0.0,0.1226331750752665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16018581959362288,0.0,0.0,0.11868243028734338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290717698180233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06566962982271816,0.3896074264400491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2261322725560172,0.0,0.12114604371727937,0.0,0.0,0.2654571533001336,0.12037553010009347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399474830885468,0.1907546081938476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22427012951669384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11406855074527425,0.08284064630935548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07654957855865614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09884494435807714,0.0,0.11957820757696185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06967669478491803,0.0,0.22652872140683755,0.0,0.13275991085097896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07047942559514814,0.0,0.1916984082460627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24354493350767625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lindzilla2,2020/01/29,Are there any bipolar success stories? If you have a somewhat successful life please share. I am currently battling a depressive episode that's lasted since October and I cry every day. I just want to know there's hope for people with this illness. I am trying to look up at the positive side of things. (I am on medication even though we haven't got it quite figured out yet.),3.40327380952381,5.903698652777784,4.154761904761909,83.59500000000001,76.3611111111111,7.447619047619049,29.73015873015873,8.418075326091056,2.4812992063492065,301,14,55,6,7,96,61,72,0.133,0.633,0.23399999999999999,0.8084,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,1,1,0,3,6,6,1,0,3,0,6,4,0,0,0,11,11,3,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,7,4,9,10,1,9,0,1,1,0,3,5,0,3,4,38,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17857872425657018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28845654645367996,0.16935690617714996,0.0,0.22617917281455335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17344649326723116,0.0,0.2212539560322684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21002723106509769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2608235632713771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14431948189470334,0.21405610964288088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854839318054027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2205199856206096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2645444200575621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18205552836925826,0.0,0.0,0.2882587179950773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2793101132126838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2172275250550212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17446145117277526,0.0,0.2580056507317979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17828987902121182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15488977497798018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Stonedmonkey420,2020/01/29,At what point do you know if you’re too far gone for help? Is there a defining moment where a person become unrepairable?,3.6062499999999993,5.4979871250000025,3.84,88.905,73.58333333333334,6.466666666666668,20.333333333333336,7.1686216300943375,0.4297333333333331,97,2,19,1,2,30,22,24,0.0,0.867,0.133,0.4696,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,3,0,6,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,1,12,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5799027010687174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35194586481152706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28856679971351845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4584741432026728,0.0,0.0,0.4963644101393099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Frankgrimes1178,2020/01/29,"Anyone freezing cold from lithium? Since being on lithium (and withdrawing from some ssris 7 months ago) I cannot freaking warm up.  I’m also pretty flat emotionally and have no desire to do anything.  But I’m most concerned about the coldness - legs, hands, body.  My temperature is normal but I feel freezing.  900mg ER all at night.  Also 10 lexapro and 150 Wellbutrin in the morning.  Could it be too much serotonin?  It’s hell.",3.0509142053445863,5.910895582278481,3.6662447257383977,84.41163150492268,80.51898734177216,5.030098452883263,27.76511954992969,6.42735559955562,1.43074571026723,337,15,57,3,9,106,66,79,0.154,0.777,0.069,-0.7831,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,4,3,1,0,2,0,7,3,3,0,1,12,10,7,0,3,2,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,7,3,1,8,7,4,7,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,2,3,35,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2493338891490769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44987206527750817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19667447180293515,0.0,0.2314658905788875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31243383386541856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2245757158777763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3163972433005905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14222141810291605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22451153726536094,0.0,0.20676996394278346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639581398176598,0.2755904127951168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28615845259880063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23267412115349065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,liltash69,2020/01/29,"Questions about Wellbutrin and Strattera Hi so I have combine diagnoses of bipolar ii, anxiety, depression, ADHD, and insomnia. I’m on lamotrogine, Zoloft, gabapentin, and lithium right now along with a bunch of supplement. 

For ADHD, my best results came from a low dose of Ritalin taken as needed. Unfortunately the treatment center I’m at right now doesn’t want me on a controlled substance and won’t let me take Ritalin. 

My psych recommended I try either Wellbutrin or Strattera but as a daily medication which I am wary of because I don’t want to have to take it everyday. 

Has anyone tried either of these and, if so, what was your response to the medication? Did it help for concentration? Did it affect energy levels and/or sleep? Did it worsen anxiety? 

Any feedback helps. Thanks!",5.216901098901096,7.99513308571429,5.804285714285713,72.62994505494505,71.71428571428571,8.593406593406593,32.912087912087905,9.265573868473778,3.605115384615385,632,31,97,15,13,204,95,140,0.091,0.765,0.14400000000000002,0.8339,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,0,2,5,4,0,0,6,0,12,10,1,3,0,20,22,12,0,4,5,0,0,0,0,1,9,0,0,0,7,8,0,1,1,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,6,0,9,2,19,14,4,12,0,2,0,0,5,8,0,3,3,69,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4131258688520744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11688235643822732,0.0,0.2629710997721732,0.0,0.0,0.12018050015706735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047747157997587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18037446574939994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19658167187871226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19277483959271294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14803753809906284,0.17445169003996044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23041126228466335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17575603168953474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34629629400294576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12744472944411042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19254174478963929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2935642952634888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17200127838683016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2584604539985336,0.0,0.0,0.1582413880001071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333866061126709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.202755193408176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Wanda-Osiris,2020/01/29,"Went manic and I'm scared I'm currently living in a flat with two other people in another city so I could go to uni. Dropped out of uni last month. Couldn't make it through the semester. Didn't tell my parents. I constantly tell them that it's all going great, fabricating lies after lies. I'm in my room 24/7. Boredom comes in so i costantly move the furniture or breaking it up so I don't have to stare at the same things all the time. I built several relationships with some men so I don't have to spend nights alone. Every night a different man. Of course I could spend some time with the other flatmates, but they are busy studying or working and I don't want to feel alone, in a city where I don't know anyone. The effects of the meds i'm taking are fading, like when I get to sleep I can't, and thoughts come. It's been two weeks where I couldn't even make myself a proper meal and I prefer fasting, drink coffee and smoke cigarettes. I just can't stop thinking. 

I'm scared to tell doctors because they will give me the seroquel and send me again to the psych ward. I've been hospitalized before and it felt like prison. I'm scared to tell my parents because they think I'm having a good recovery and I feel like shit for feeding them lies. The sex life I'm having is the only thing that keeps me from losing it, but I know it's wrong.

I don't know. Needed to vent. Also sorry for any grammar mistakes, English is not my first language.",2.223170670670669,4.18545708783784,3.2760960960960968,91.10083583583584,77.78378378378378,6.006806806806807,22.78728728728729,6.937597516519254,0.613683083083084,1142,35,241,12,27,366,157,296,0.155,0.782,0.063,-0.9757,4,2,3,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,5,4,11,12,1,3,16,0,23,8,2,3,2,47,53,18,0,8,6,2,3,3,0,1,2,0,1,2,13,14,3,2,11,1,2,7,11,7,0,3,6,4,30,5,28,42,5,36,0,1,1,1,16,11,1,4,19,142,43,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21544443210102895,0.0,0.08317616011008094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07072985702252388,0.1090627679651264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07272568633998445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12680614754732608,0.0,0.08850421159898211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17918951952979806,0.0,0.1123970499121012,0.0,0.16608584655429473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10866752961394943,0.0,0.10645787521635552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10188946883163674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06869712907246317,0.0,0.08763227949453989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10518040444154987,0.07430422939527714,0.09986519138389488,0.0,0.0,0.08847021540888111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054340540603733764,0.09977515058045487,0.11822170799570905,0.08723802469973573,0.0,0.11467056594765385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092448200850521,0.0,0.0,0.17148229212307525,0.08478142115119086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07346480960253038,0.15244099836736535,0.0,0.09184207379857856,0.0,0.0,0.11635974686134315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388539648123674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155308301855378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08301919150558867,0.11054537313194283,0.0,0.07712154140749354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1952112717760293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07910372190124444,0.0,0.0,0.2309799282048468,0.0,0.0,0.0721069183651306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11166701074583764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31239421316849136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11750084809750445,0.10676400106568844,0.0,0.0,0.10408436481532944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11642984065981248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08695639070953412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07820201232405159,0.0,0.3636346775954309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13819824896569033,0.13328985612240662,0.0,0.08257172701326171,0.12129726086506425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2032038493598905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06134735077793217,0.0,0.0834299470727528,0.0,0.0,0.09641761731031673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07571997316530893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11371778786184325,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,HELLowaitwtaff,2020/01/29,"Have I experienced mania/hypomania or just great joy? So basically that's the question it feels sometimes really good but I don't know if it's classified as mania/hypomania cuz it's so short like an hour or half an hour, and I don't know if the feeling of joy is extreme enough. 

(Throwaway account)",3.6293220338983048,5.609837355932207,5.612000000000003,75.84444067796613,73.74576271186443,8.787796610169492,30.444067796610174,9.3871,2.9898244067796607,240,11,45,6,5,83,41,59,0.0,0.7090000000000001,0.29100000000000004,0.9490000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,4,0,4,0,0,1,0,13,8,10,0,2,6,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,5,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,3,3,5,2,8,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,5,3,29,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2985410055570264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2921824780510743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423400287571096,0.0,0.3185453630454868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5690739447057538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3175757646773572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411561684455155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3236667269824199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18509538588935825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.285758277025388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Dasvanina,2020/01/29,Has anyone heard of situational bipolar? Is it temporary? Are stable now and or still require meds?,3.568039215686273,6.647798352941179,5.361176470588237,66.71862745098042,94.88235294117644,6.972549019607843,29.196078431372552,7.793537801064563,3.284819607843138,80,4,11,2,3,27,17,17,0.0,0.8540000000000001,0.146,0.4098,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,3,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,9,1,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3673023559633228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5834904866372647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5904598235032893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4195056949983697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Singercarcar,2020/01/29,"Wish I was manic so I had the bravery to tell my parents about my tattoos I’ve been hiding my tattoos from my parents for over three years. My parents always said they wouldn’t pay for my college or my wedding if I got tattoos and they are still currently paying off my students loans. (I’m 24 and $20,000 in debt from student loans). Through a lot of therapy and self reflection I realized that this is pretty much the last thing I need to do to completely let go of my childhood and finally be able to be my own individual separate from my parents. The thing is I’m currently pretty depressed and am super fearful that I won’t be able to pay my student loans if they do end up cutting me off. I wish I was manic or in my case hypomanic because I have bipolar 2 so I could just be like fuck it and believe I could take on the world and be able to fix it with many ideas. I’m ruminating on it so bad I feel like it’s what’s making my depression stick around longer. I can’t decide when to tell them or when I’ll be ready. 

I honestly just needed to vent and get this out because I was tired of it washing around my brain so much.",2.8804219409282688,4.0821329282700445,4.481708860759493,86.38222573839663,74.14767932489451,7.460759493670888,28.356540084388186,7.984000788550335,1.7226691983122353,892,36,191,13,18,300,127,237,0.121,0.759,0.12,0.1462,7,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,4,1,12,10,2,1,5,0,24,5,1,1,0,33,39,19,0,9,7,4,1,2,0,2,3,1,0,1,12,12,0,0,5,0,7,1,3,6,0,1,7,2,35,4,30,21,4,23,0,2,0,1,13,12,1,6,12,133,47,7,0.3333354853151437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09245394224372684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19782616877153275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927737356018739,0.13546547862666306,0.0,0.0,0.12518498140162712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240375474251585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116498638126642,0.0,0.0,0.1774275075125605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19140091004044127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09841210025847072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12503169792026966,0.0561814789953415,0.07937831243757264,0.0,0.12171757695097965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10272109495913316,0.058051344387456225,0.0,0.06314741267462322,0.0,0.08886627946087157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12543172972869174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09057097007547207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11361937263494165,0.0,0.1085672537995022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09446330314172556,0.0,0.0,0.0741680082801073,0.1126499543454458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16335995718609456,0.16477602578838735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4935061451298169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22608134989042575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10569279319758944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11591386965058932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08873404971989123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08354226694799732,0.0,0.1942332710144544,0.0,0.12706605931115675,0.0,0.1476355232266399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12770670157965394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25554623833639073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07155237456992472
bipolarreddit,Degenerate1976,2020/01/29,"After a year diagnosed. Will it get better? I'm 43 years old and have ha emotional ups and downs. I've always self medicated with drugs, alcohol and sex. I've been married for 12 years and a year ago found out my wife had been cheating on me with friends of ours. I went off the deep end blackout drinking followed by weeks of not being able to get out of bed. We finally separated 6 months ago and i go back and forth with depression so bad i don't eat or sleep, followed by weeks of spending thousands on drugs. Kinda scared. Kinda relieved to maybe finally get help that i need. Will it get better?",2.1744999999999983,4.465879450000003,3.4533333333333367,88.11500000000002,79.5,6.666666666666668,25.0,7.793537801064563,1.4164999999999996,474,18,96,8,12,154,83,120,0.11,0.752,0.138,0.1544,2,0,4,0,0,0,12.0,2,0,0,2,2,9,1,1,3,1,8,9,1,0,0,18,19,8,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,2,5,0,1,1,3,12,3,0,1,1,1,4,2,4,0,1,5,0,8,5,20,11,0,27,0,1,0,1,6,8,0,3,15,53,11,0,0.14028409498711578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2487067718962675,0.149921034423669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11672760495382273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10786980982468512,0.11713135964367945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24813976390009115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12082648545210478,0.14238540345492148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13742500637462832,0.32537002586509745,0.1435456511345265,0.0,0.1578007251375261,0.12425006963319846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3073487380519893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538142693486724,0.10838314379730206,0.0,0.2931705984730827,0.0,0.07972668402941553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940294718080536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409342288784858,0.0,0.0,0.14132146706420273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11197342623038133,0.0,0.0,0.1040188788996331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14720455936418606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404488518403415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1463469058958484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14038540648279885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22505487838499666,0.0,0.0,0.13004476149926258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3613534311079237
bipolarreddit,mrmid90,2020/01/29,"Bipolar and addiction. TL;DR feelings and experiance around staying abstinent. 

Hello, I'm just wondering if anyone has any experiance with bipolar, addiction and how they have found recovery. Have you managed to get clean by going to NA/AA, how did you cope with meetings and people?
Or have you become abstinent through other means, what have you found that helped?

I'm 30, coming on 3 years clean. I also have Bipolar and ADHD. I have struggled with meetings since I began my journey, I have been through some real hard times, I get quite anxious in groups of people and my friends from the meetings believe that if I dont go to meetings I will end up using. 

My experiance with the fellowship is that if you dont fully conform to what is expected people start acting like you have the plague and stay away. I don't think it's all paranoia nor how I'm behaving as generally I feel relatively stable on the medication I am on. 

I decided that I am fed up of having to make excuses as to why I don't want to go. I have said to my friends that I appreciate their concern but the fellowship is not the path I want to follow at this time. We haven't spoken in a few days now. 

I'm looking for some experiance and guidance from someone that may have encountered the same problems with their feelings around this, how they might have over come it or maybe found a different path to follow that has helped them stay clean/abstinent. 

Thank you.",5.389897025171624,6.576554427536234,6.065118230358504,77.45165903890162,68.13043478260869,9.143859649122806,32.27993897787948,9.414487439383343,2.992749275362318,1146,49,209,23,19,374,143,276,0.047,0.889,0.064,0.6777,1,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,1,7,5,1,9,6,0,1,9,0,29,7,0,6,1,54,61,22,0,7,8,0,4,1,2,3,6,1,2,0,14,18,1,0,10,0,0,9,7,2,0,0,8,6,33,4,37,50,5,32,0,0,1,0,25,12,0,10,9,150,47,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2197306648552448,0.12111825851542272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08059391792663577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06853401604848894,0.0,0.0,0.11385298017301265,0.0,0.07046788392594458,0.0,0.0,0.179431552509625,0.0,0.0,0.09468634874434886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11130385222007448,0.0,0.11354481413287518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736264984003214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06499491456323471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10529389612848264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2362273708919247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08926137550337725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3943296341601157,0.0,0.0,0.1528725455437061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3315009793066792,0.15572511991804305,0.0,0.10530702700654106,0.0,0.1718271909657096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09027929576154732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13510173501263478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049236132463973584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08463001567768996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06727158977443339,0.0,0.1012472923543552,0.10977922120907102,0.0,0.10152548465804216,0.0,0.10691190370779874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20960497766321956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09643307471518904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071921857495242,0.0,0.11470997161208045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09586508241194436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0833664522482813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08539076650359348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0713327694071672,0.3222549654506785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10535738389037308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09278490060615843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06457590558740135,0.0,0.0,0.11753153155840253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0870417656703161,0.0,0.0,0.11888558805959985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909384871851048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10929186641382237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06489916745877608
bipolarreddit,ion_nine,2020/01/29,"Condescending letter from insurance company “Sometimes emotional problems get in the way of what’s important to you. It might be work, enjoyment, a sense of control, or other things you value. 

What do you want to do that’s important to you?

Wouldn’t it be great to have a behavioral health coordinator to answer all your questions...”

No. For fuck’s sake. I’ve been diagnosed for twenty-five years now. I understand sending this out to someone who has never been diagnosed; maybe. But the tone of this letter is just SO condescending.

I don’t understand why MI needs to be this big *thing*. Why can’t it just be a medical condition, treated like any other? Why do we have to wrap up this sense of pitty and weakness? 

I’m glad this service exists, don’t get me wrong ... but ‘emotional problems’? Fuck. I also have diabetes, but I didn’t get letters about my hormones.

Just send me a letter letting me know the service is out there. Don’t ask me in bold type on a single line to ask myself what’s important to me.

I have a psychoneurological condition, not some sort of spiritual deficiency.

This is we are conditioned. To be weak, dependent and incapable. But always remember, you’re stronger than you think you are.",3.4237253399731884,6.067696088105728,4.841509289408163,77.93016663474431,77.10572687224669,8.705535338057842,28.37176786056311,9.318704503766252,3.0131648726297646,960,42,171,27,23,319,128,227,0.085,0.804,0.111,0.2755,0,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,2,7,0,2,8,13,2,0,9,0,28,9,0,2,2,34,42,9,0,5,9,0,0,1,0,2,7,0,0,0,18,6,0,1,7,0,0,2,9,7,0,0,3,0,21,6,27,31,3,13,0,0,0,2,19,7,2,6,4,123,39,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10814142669239504,0.11252015842135456,0.0,0.0,0.09195937439335827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2528390186618936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15166920130580094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27450624314572764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3042255959676928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25003139071229624,0.21195244816591008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14908885652802215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437405671938978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07431752759496063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13827933669844136,0.0,0.06606535265250019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358542545841838,0.0,0.0,0.13622753476945704,0.0,0.14345506577662326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10026951839908464,0.1042958267521646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2587890140674832,0.0,0.0,0.15148580962104888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15318645851691592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11457786832576733,0.0,0.13374350942615765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17967835723314698,0.08664835684662799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2815533071407685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07976071542788535,0.1073373386510606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3660655046351271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09844727042423218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14785010276270713,0.0,0.08708211166169405
bipolarreddit,Charming-Star,2020/01/29,"Question relating to hallucinations in bipolar with psychotic features. During an episode of psychosis, I was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Since then it has changed to bipolar disorder with psychotic features, as well as OCD. I'm wondering about those of you who experience hallucinations, how frequent are they, how intense? For me personally, they seem to happen the worst during the worst of a mood episode. I've experienced voices, all though infrequent, when I do it's quite frequent over a short period. in 2017-18, I had constant lights, that would look like LEDs, camera flashes. Those have cleared up almost completely, but I had shadows and lights, as well as one night, I saw what looked like sort of a projection with ""70w70w70w"" just repeating for about 3 rows of text on my wall, but when I looked away and looked back at it, it was gone. Maybe that was just my imagination too, not sure.  It makes me feel like I'm living several simultaneous lives.",6.4696968325791815,8.603492947058829,6.029999999999998,75.12192307692307,66.58823529411765,9.70135746606335,34.25339366515837,10.035473477838034,3.7008733031674206,771,36,131,19,13,238,112,170,0.055999999999999994,0.856,0.08800000000000001,0.5279,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,1,2,1,13,9,0,0,6,0,10,3,0,4,3,26,23,14,0,1,5,0,1,3,0,1,3,1,0,1,11,6,0,0,5,0,0,2,1,2,2,1,7,10,13,6,27,15,3,21,0,0,5,0,6,9,0,5,13,88,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15312997517752291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14367589251072918,0.11758810217515035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16177191945387334,0.0,0.1603365213344562,0.1652550911583068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.155213302006544,0.0,0.0,0.1752626407871569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14958772537621298,0.0,0.0,0.07732230222078326,0.1092479937130648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352290215892878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22413089223572236,0.0,0.2700670576251125,0.0,0.5136661492151923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10207707689260974,0.0,0.15363138706069182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14350757665661598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10362436617461557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13352618636463906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17130840048643636,0.16265209464693742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13921506521864016,0.0,0.17275910158422106,0.0,0.12649922181036438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14412781688069085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15024575744709334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27499171061499017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1658381240738939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10863188486844427,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Woahmary,2020/01/29,"Advice on depressive episodes/loved ones reactions to it When you’re going through a reaaaaally low swing, how do you handle the reaction of people close to you? I feel like I’m bringing my fiancé down and making him feel worse about his problems by being so irrationally depressed recently. However, I can’t bring myself to fake a good mood or even really talk to him on the phone when I get in these low periods. (We’re two hours away from each other and only see each other on the weekends). Thoughts?",6.3912499999999985,7.094363958333332,6.506250000000001,76.91375000000002,65.66666666666666,9.733333333333334,31.625,9.725611199111238,2.9867625,404,15,72,8,6,129,75,96,0.22,0.728,0.052000000000000005,-0.9486,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,0,0,6,9,0,0,5,0,3,0,0,2,0,12,13,7,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,3,1,0,3,1,6,0,2,1,3,10,2,15,11,2,18,0,4,1,0,7,9,0,1,7,49,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2339205837873609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22490656122973052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.412357434039424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15810905579147486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2420767018731925,0.17101401047790804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12506682130765473,0.0,0.13604587904641818,0.20078163237126406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23574230832599016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11694958552707628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1597888410025728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16221092800382506,0.18206022505255648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16595681555655692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290555239547904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533537563474606,0.0,0.2363601019540929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19075586083075752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924055785023888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19004197074039555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2338406945768847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24394994130618464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Okayostrich,2020/01/29,"Seeking out professional help for my depression....but not sure how to bring up possibility of bipolar This is my first post here and I'm new to Reddit, so hopefully this is the right place to ask this.....but, I've been struggling with anxiety and depression for over five years. For the last several years, I've been ""functionally"" depressed....as in, I have a stable job, an apartment, and pay all my own bills. But in reality, I barely get through each week. I cry every night, my insomnia has me taking multiple sleep aids, and I can barely get myself to work each day. My relationship is on the verge of ending, and I'm losing all my friendships outside of work because I never have the energy to reply to texts, let alone go out. I finally started looking into therapy this month, but I don't know how to bring up my fears of actually being bipolar rather than depressed. Not only do I have an aunt who was diagnosed as bipolar a few years back, but in college, I had several periods of what I believe were hypomania, if not full blown mania, as well as four episodes of severe self harm/near suicide attempts. The periods of possible hypomania were characterized by prolonged insomnia, impulsive/risky decisions (which almost led to legal consequences...twice), dissociation, unchecked impulsive spending, and periods of frantic activity. It felt like my mind was racing and my heart was going ten times faster than normal, and I had to get everything done before the world imploded. I felt so in control but at the same time I was watching myself from somewhere else and none of it was actually true. My decisions made so much sense but when I looked back on them weeks later it felt like looking at the decisions of a stranger. But, these periods of possible mania have been much fewer the last couple years, for whatever reason, and the depression has been much more present. Now that I'm trying to get help for the depression, how do I bring up my concerns to a therapist? I'm afraid of being dismissed and put on antidepressants, and having a full mental breakdown that could cost me my job and my stability.",9.19666215667704,8.208221100257074,9.199878230280074,65.56989176024895,60.36246786632391,12.816723041537006,40.010959274793656,11.920831013317358,4.924858097686376,1684,76,285,45,19,554,208,389,0.11599999999999999,0.821,0.063,-0.9703,2,1,0,0,0,1,62.0,0,0,1,6,13,15,0,4,18,0,32,8,2,7,5,55,57,30,1,5,11,1,3,2,0,0,6,0,0,1,12,19,0,1,8,0,4,7,6,9,1,4,18,7,33,6,53,35,14,61,0,5,4,0,8,23,0,3,32,203,45,8,0.0,0.0,0.1674792396007815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08592779538993381,0.08887480728516453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06564554244387459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08022214413835595,0.0,0.0,0.1319674527770716,0.0,0.05230987784617209,0.0,0.07301924373795307,0.09668014540208543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09624486436386458,0.0685134791433575,0.09494876340152768,0.09425987437649426,0.0553413014795741,0.0,0.29563718595657057,0.08709683940817355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0878149306217584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07168447512270547,0.0,0.07600349543359752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07229986754435795,0.0,0.07712181933496047,0.0,0.0,0.09656176483359027,0.0,0.0,0.2471774151372188,0.0940022749203147,0.0,0.07299119562536839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17933181291642875,0.0,0.09753727597021017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10168700940724093,0.11503524388009667,0.0,0.0,0.08523015549705151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17030929328286232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04715974173829302,0.13989560821216454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877480456828754,0.0,0.08384630301270753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21618007700972175,0.0960010892572332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08119689117499616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08647778233616014,0.0,0.08664512625603353,0.0,0.06849389955521734,0.0,0.18924392011881694,0.0,0.06618309856620358,0.08287725594847814,0.0,0.08052825496483841,0.08407702464777501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06526349250200716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08965472589299314,0.0,0.0,0.29021862929115083,0.0821836712468857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08626423227734198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08822848676332795,0.0,0.0921294086216426,0.0,0.07328252960656594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08952008177389634,0.2908276197811999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0858734456411787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06073780269830562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08970878389729475,0.0,0.09386382437582104,0.0,0.08087629835089083,0.0,0.06451954879347241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981328986299068,0.0996337347929474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10007472069220792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05826035777571927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13766557614123587,0.0,0.07715482032913303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12494354961188192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2210391022894664
bipolarreddit,selfdestructiveways,2020/01/29,"Supposed to take Epival twice daily. 750mg in the morning, and again 750mg at night, but instead i've been taking 1500 at night. Is this a bad idea? Been taking the medication like this for quite some time, just wanted to know if doing what I do is a bad idea. I'm supposed to get blood work soon.",1.3611827956989266,3.337933935483876,2.7141935483870974,94.0079569892473,80.61290322580646,4.778494623655916,18.397849462365595,5.46131890053228,-0.4790408602150538,232,5,51,1,6,75,45,62,0.171,0.78,0.049,-0.8786,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,2,4,3,0,0,4,0,6,2,1,0,0,9,13,3,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,1,1,7,11,1,8,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,2,6,30,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3672649868144895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11490442899979472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4965487512825355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12086786182754125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10744676490733583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22155649390491572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41277910503906856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23392279218031595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4960803190157797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282430423408568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12972050394552134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16011177260613746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,cascadedmonoxide,2020/01/29,"Depressive Rant re: life changes I should take a page from Bowie’s book “Turn and face the strange.”


On mobile, sorry for formatting


When all these changes in my life started occurring, my Psych doctor told me to be careful. Because change can trigger episodes. I thought he meant my Manic episodes, as they are much more prevalent during times of turmoil. I had no idea it would cause major depressive episodes as well. I am BP1 and hardly get depressed, but when I do.... I crash and burn. I am crashing right now.

Back in September I left a career for an amazing opportunity at a company in which I had a five year plan to get hired by anyway. It as been amazing, but I went from traveling half a state, I travel the whole country and report almost directly to the CEO. Low stress for some reasons, high stress for the travel reasons.

During this time I gained 30lbs (125lbs to 157lbs), which still has me scared, but I am working on a IIFYM plan and have lost 5lbs in 3 weeks.

I got engaged in October, which I am soooooooo excited about, but again a HUGE life change. I am so lucky to have my partner. We need to plan a small wedding/party. We will probably go to the court house next year and get married then have a party for the family.

This month we met with realtor and we are selling our home, starting on Feb 3rd. Then we will have to find a place to rent in big metropolitan city we are moving to, in a short amount of time and while I am traveling all over the country, 

To top all of this craziness off.... I have to rehome my precious doggies because of my fiancé’s and my work schedule. I cant bring myself to board them for 3 days a week 3 times a month. That would be worse than me rehoming them. 

I think it is my dogs that have me so sad. I cant stop crying at night and I am supplementing my anxiety with an extra mg or two of prescribed benzos. I hate using these and wish I could just go back to my usual zombie self (thanks lithium) and not feel emotions so intensely. 

I am so sad. Like a deep down in the pity of my stomach, I cant breathe kind of sad. 

And knowing me, I will be on an upswing as soon as I awake up in the morning, just to become sad again in a couple days. 

Idk why, but I needed to write this out. 

PS. My medicine dosage works for me, I think this may be normal sadness related to all these events?",2.9584087083380126,4.544042639658851,3.8161715856806175,89.68516187857706,74.62899786780383,6.727886881382562,25.988160700258106,7.3759095455046575,1.1475552238805973,1814,64,384,21,38,580,251,469,0.154,0.728,0.11699999999999999,-0.9433,1,0,0,0,0,0,61.0,7,0,3,10,18,28,1,4,27,0,39,7,3,5,4,62,67,33,0,8,9,0,2,1,1,7,4,0,2,2,16,22,0,1,10,5,2,9,5,16,1,3,10,2,59,12,64,45,12,74,0,11,0,0,16,32,0,5,33,258,75,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09083680004277933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06939583385811586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13950667610715964,0.0,0.11059662109593914,0.10018630139148776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09248879838065836,0.0931880946425212,0.38385282784595065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07242761410249528,0.1003731306764576,0.09964488582466476,0.1170058352782118,0.0,0.23439507400442045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09284945182636227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020408522413006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0855169283143867,0.0,0.04586763954956621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08291079983218852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14218270081243473,0.0,0.1031095234530047,0.0,0.0725521390200543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08126177624736658,0.08956112942564871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09584414497219036,0.09099337073194548,0.0,0.0,0.1046715836705674,0.0,0.1024048755952348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944644975232673,0.049853950178876325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09856084484863784,0.0,0.19222158866857772,0.0443181966122212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09902486447682468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14481383188789115,0.09641444821608336,0.06668510483379816,0.13452631529864975,0.0,0.0,0.0964751903933135,0.08512878703381586,0.08888029585146852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09477664790392204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09780485467161956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18653785713525448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07746911762710611,0.0,0.0,0.09082037186844633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09463431164511506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10154670905768223,0.12841543562724989,0.0,0.07244418411738038,0.07584082618379002,0.2078247781467709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06820551284956589,0.0,0.0,0.08351710952760055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11625152249026666,0.0,0.07201665047283896,0.21158386181335695,0.0,0.0,0.08668095477223868,0.0,0.0,0.0986706010400071,0.08861423348779117,0.0,0.0,0.07834762584722793,0.09990847096296096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14553032992372564,0.0,0.08156263005201049,0.08409263190227104,0.08185512453961283,0.10127875483219416,0.10431643094722574,0.0,0.0,0.19812225219837,0.0,0.09244514560373744,0.12888100834112245,0.0,0.0,0.11683346840908156
bipolarreddit,Riizu,2020/01/29,"Seeking Advice on Seroquel (~1/2mo in) Hey, /r/bipolar - first time poster.

I'm currently 27. For the last ~9 years or so, I've fought depression and anxiety. It predominantly cropped up in college, and eventually I sought help after coming close to committing suicide (a couple steps away from trying to figure out the fastest way to a roof).

Since then, my mental health battle has been very up and down. I struggled with depression for awhile, but seemed to get better after being on a med for a period of time (the name escapes me, but I want to say it was generic Prozac). About a year after that I had an incredibly difficult break up, which from what I can remember, seems to be the beginning of my anxiety. Major panic attacks, generally feeling out of control, etc. The worst episodes would leave me almost catatonic on the floor, feeling like I was five years old again. I remember having my meds swapped due to increased likelihood of anxiety with whatever I was on, and things in general seemed to get better, but life was also on an upswing. I eventually committed the iconic sin of just stopping my meds, but I seemed to be okay.

Fast forward to now, and I've currently been actively struggling for about the last two years. During that time, I've had a number of major life events, but predominantly getting engaged and dealing with an extremely bad employer. I'm now with a fantastic employer, but in general, the mental health side hasn't, ""kept up"" if that makes sense. The reason I mention it, is that for the most part I objectively feel like I have a positive life. I've got a fantastic support system, my new job is great, and lately, I feel like I'm more of the problem than anything else.

Seeking help to try and manage that and reduce the number of depressive episodes, I went back to a local doc, and started a train of 3-4 medications. Again, awful with names, but I think the most recent were Sertraline and Viibyrd, with my last Viibyrd dose being in July. I barely made it a week through that, as it seemed to cause even more anger and terrifying night terrors. I finally made the time to see my doc again and try and get back up on the proverbial horse December 2019. At that point, my doctor suggested I try a bipolar medication for my mood swings and major depressive episodes, swapped me to Seroquel XR 300mg, as well as had me try out Ajovy for migraines (something I had been dealing with for about the last year and a half). I initially started my dose at 50mg for 2 days, 150mg for another 2 days, and then the full 300.

Overall, the experience has been mixed. Unlike other anti-depressants/anti-anxiety medications, I don't have any of the traditional side effects. I've avoided the horrendous GI problems, my headaches have been mild, etc. On the other hand, my mood has felt altered far more than it has in the past. I generally feel like im in a bit of a ""haze."" Sometimes its hard to structure my thoughts, and overall life feels like its moving by me. Furthermore, the drowsiness is some of the worst I've ever experienced. I've had days that I wake up after 10hrs of sleep and still can't function until I've taken a nap, even if its a couple hours later. This has made work difficult as I have more off days than not, and in general, I find myself extremely scared. I feel like I have no idea whats happening to me. It almost feels like i'm losing myself. When I get started on a new task (such as writing this post), it seems to go away, but finding the energy to do tasks tends to be difficult.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? I'm not formally diagnosed bipolar, but my doctor has suggested it could be it, and in general my doctor seems to be at a bit of a loss for what I might need. I think they are most likely correct, but im not sure im pursuing the best treatment option. I am actively looking for a psychiatrist rather than a GP, but between work and the above feelings, its taking longer than I want to admit.

(Apologies if that was too much of a ramble, also something im noticing I do more and more lately)",6.267307053150624,6.6231637400768255,6.890894379818566,75.25502302013244,65.88860435339309,10.12952297926826,33.902552646634156,10.000582790830583,3.3597680061023776,3215,135,590,68,47,1059,341,781,0.14800000000000002,0.727,0.125,-0.976,5,1,3,0,0,1,117.0,0,0,1,10,23,44,4,6,55,2,50,22,3,8,5,122,105,50,1,11,20,0,12,8,0,2,19,1,0,0,32,35,0,4,29,1,0,7,7,25,1,4,26,17,58,17,112,69,24,111,1,6,2,0,16,42,0,19,68,393,90,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049715095506956485,0.0,0.0,0.10188922724181416,0.0,0.0,0.08137047644002415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034597186001617375,0.05334755403137774,0.15567892929462127,0.0,0.0,0.035573436782128286,0.05212811472900388,0.04186632433912145,0.0,0.0,0.05787839552062653,0.0955986941434895,0.07824046761300707,0.04247904193751339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05339085497281575,0.08999075456088101,0.11108606432183038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05226330598827759,0.0,0.043824866878627085,0.0,0.0,0.05706136653179025,0.040620066032688106,0.11258587616086813,0.0,0.13124233937859475,0.10490112059993173,0.17527648815128466,0.051637712932309086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15622014797899264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0850001532372974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11347959427750418,0.06720577284753332,0.046019937314483964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04976614711056341,0.0,0.0,0.23151831153339816,0.25441901727492866,0.048848601521921185,0.055731786828348236,0.09299884321028476,0.04327480115122386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13290213424983482,0.0,0.028913803824415617,0.0,0.040689904179873296,0.05609058276108679,0.0,0.0,0.04498916849697755,0.0,0.04557458861519828,0.0,0.0,0.10815687192287893,0.0,0.0,0.06820175038431013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05010226626362512,0.0,0.0,0.05743241525064041,0.2198177254171982,0.0,0.05048623150967967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16588177725936207,0.1147798963882236,0.053869966553745964,0.0,0.0,0.14373990217923133,0.1988421786519745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04272273190074333,0.056916837877687414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14441930795586094,0.03395989084316749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1695341312330435,0.15375559229449595,0.10254137646419084,0.05397102390364402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05407276356639735,0.03739945593005925,0.03772364917911268,0.0,0.098272037891731,0.0,0.04774335028767861,0.0,0.0,0.057922263724102176,0.05338543554558545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059691612470786325,0.0,0.05509337020062281,0.048566563784269726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048093932880992035,0.0,0.04872480852814613,0.0,0.0,0.09736225060176727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05230864062225907,0.0502335658214812,0.0,0.11526438567467158,0.0,0.0,0.040458358178874144,0.05093540009738468,0.0,0.04054130545575877,0.3242069614186044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042084862686116206,0.0,0.0509123909048679,0.0,0.0,0.11749968075460322,0.05031731786618196,0.0,0.1080301389069695,0.0,0.04062935910560146,0.04253432072468389,0.0,0.10637254949484054,0.0,0.055649702684762034,0.057733083717109376,0.04794969720656896,0.0,0.03825215658522256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03379952063978598,0.06519812337422379,0.0,0.04038958253574384,0.11866400053089166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727061309341777,0.0,0.0496981166688205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041977738652606206,0.060015551986615616,0.04038272220452978,0.04080937695182865,0.0,0.045743318478279615,0.04716223643510992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0740761569701301,0.0,0.0,0.036140601440821575,0.0,0.0,0.16381125004645744
bipolarreddit,kgmg87,2020/01/29,"What Dose Of Lamictal are you on? What Dose Of lamictal are you on? I have been trying to find the right dosage, I was on a higher dose around 400 to 600mg but I felt I could not take it being so uncoordinated and finding it hard to find words. I dropped it to 200 for a number if months but I still feel depressed all of the time with little to no emotions otherwise. I've just upped it to 400 to see how it makes me feel. I don't really want to take lithium but I'm considering trying CBD",1.6284761904761886,3.1665985142857167,3.681904761904765,89.44476190476192,78.14285714285714,6.9523809523809526,21.19047619047619,7.793537801064563,0.6449047619047614,384,10,89,6,9,131,67,105,0.106,0.88,0.015,-0.8402,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,0,0,5,1,0,0,4,0,8,3,0,2,1,21,17,7,0,3,6,0,4,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,6,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,5,10,0,18,12,1,11,0,1,1,0,2,7,0,1,3,59,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18564201694728735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16649971316282955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1796124911385682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23457589815155724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2108850035471684,0.0,0.20022808764663652,0.0,0.5717967336584363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18680806490659246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20900871737931376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391999727395373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16645213134608425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335940518069622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1780893382134244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16617687731473613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665378050254383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3135875305655046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215995195284018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2831656771691341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12300044247883647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,GammaBetaAlpha89,2020/01/30,"Longest people were off meds successfully I've never used this sub, however backstory. I was diagnosed with Bipolar when I was around 13. I'm now 30. I've been on basically every medication there is. Around 3 years ago I went off my meds and successfully moved away and got a job. I lost 60 lbs and stopped drinking. 

Has anyone had success for similar amounts of time and been able to cope without medications?",3.5070454545454552,6.2481926103896175,4.8676461038961065,77.30718344155845,77.44155844155844,8.525324675324676,30.404220779220786,9.188382445141503,3.185468831168832,329,16,59,9,8,109,61,77,0.054000000000000006,0.815,0.131,0.7845,2,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,4,5,4,0,0,1,0,8,5,0,1,1,11,13,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,7,1,1,0,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,9,0,5,3,11,4,1,15,0,1,0,0,0,6,0,0,7,34,6,4,0.19233955786434656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17049741294189635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13448829097622295,0.0,0.0,0.3424459697071344,0.0,0.0,0.18070934604462685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19522060251642548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18841954227261945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16205437303782064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15383151497711525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19086733269971487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2099613481921303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4272917778755894,0.3875237388011241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20442651085260352,0.0,0.0,0.14834412438260924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13334403161427094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16080448276988318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11215474294445188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16611962295981172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17830069710782134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854084701281017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12386036916452654
bipolarreddit,curiouskittycat89,2020/01/30,"Questioning my Bipolar Depression diagnosis I was diagnosed with bipolar depression just after Thanksgiving. I have been on so many different medications in my life and the one I am on now for depression (Cymbalta) is working but I still have a lot of downs. My psychiatrist thinks maybe the reason I'm not having total luck with my medications is because I've been misdiagnosed and that I have bipolar depression not unipolar depression.

I was given a prescription for Latuda which I took for the first time yesterday. I struggled with taking it for about 2 months as I was terrified of the side effects and wondering if this is something that I really need. 

My psychiatrist says that I have hypomania and what seems to be my ""normal happy"" could actually be hypomania. Is that possible? To be happy/feeling good and functioning and for that to be considered mania even though there is nothing manic going on? He says he thinks it is because I always go back to being low. I'll be low for a day sometimes, a few days, or sometimes even a month. The lows aren't always bad but sometimes they leave me wanting to just die. I'm not always low either. I'll do good sometimes a few days or weeks but it always comes back.

I have trusted him so far but I'm just struggling with the diagnosis 😔 to finally be able to know what is really wrong and to be treated properly is amazing, it gives hope that maybe this rollercoaster will stop but I feel like maybe it's not that maybe I just have untreatable depression and need to live with the lows?

Thanks for reading everyone. I am stressing so bad about this.",4.963956256921374,6.961301202657813,5.883974252491697,75.21550733665559,70.19601328903654,9.66782945736434,31.14631782945737,10.02789654360092,3.4515015503875963,1286,56,224,35,24,423,148,301,0.19899999999999998,0.684,0.11699999999999999,-0.9764,1,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,1,3,17,27,0,3,13,0,34,7,0,2,1,50,55,21,1,7,17,0,1,1,0,1,7,2,0,0,18,14,0,1,9,1,0,4,5,17,0,2,7,3,25,10,32,38,5,32,0,11,0,0,8,12,0,9,17,164,43,2,0.08383548365192636,0.0,0.08181133863037414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27903135327589346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289286241455151,0.13999825407773392,0.1022106654027756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07221684586509829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06693581194067161,0.0,0.0,0.16220085425692135,0.0,0.4332442753443996,0.08509125118363807,0.08700799611480856,0.08759023694314419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11074509256164032,0.0,0.0,0.08010839732013947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08477947901769972,0.05989208627205789,0.0,0.09183767449461844,0.0,0.07131041956695189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08042263509097096,0.09529127469773732,0.14063445227930962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08924443126195968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0832675516023323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046073789327790535,0.0,0.0,0.08876967229915621,0.0,0.0,0.059215481413157925,0.04095778261848262,0.0,0.0740282680019127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07127393021560174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08499602192358145,0.336896046332959,0.0,0.0,0.1689108596782174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13383336642759802,0.0,0.0,0.12432589770469445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08214097402029688,0.08044240761952096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056809093401915665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09451191130465966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09391492834192806,0.0,0.08385817072442768,0.0,0.1074143151153426,0.08619683997426536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13333868301987292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07632067567615063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06454065114640581,0.3316617479980858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06695112553913743,0.07009021823747248,0.0960332632727494,0.1752861002960128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06303385025157575,0.0,0.0,0.07718444969424096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10743678559138344,0.08236793703201781,0.0,0.04888514470453882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09314430704477933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04944834036038935,0.0,0.06724776810715617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09091600583821152,0.06103323057439367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09166094065867526,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,smlybright,2020/01/30,"I was emotionally abusive toward my husband for years. I finally got on track and on the right meds and have been treating him with the respect he deserves for about 5 years now. The problem is that he keeps bringing up the abuse to hurt me now. I know it was wrong of me to treat him that way. I'm not even going to blame this on bipolar, because yes, it was a huge contributing factor, but it was my choice to be mean to him, lie to him, always play the victim, and treat him like trash.

He recently got a job where he works harder than I do and brings in way more money. This job is stressful and I believe the stress and our change in roles is what has caused us to have several fights. 

Each fight is dominated by him. I rarely speak while he keeps a raised voice and tells me how wrong I am for somewhere between 20 to 45 minutes. I just try to hold it together internally and get it over with.

He ALWAYS brings up how abusive I was to him, and he doesn't just bring it up, he harps on about it, wringing everything out of the fact that I was a complete and total asshole. OF COURSE he's right. I did do that, but will there be a point where I've gone long enough without being an ass that this can be let go? Or is it going to be brought up eternally?

Has anyone dealt with this? Does anyone have ideas or maybe, at the LEAST, just ways I can hear it and not feel like a monster every single time? I did it. I own it. I have profusely apologized and I've changed. But I can't undo it. 

A little more info, we don't fight often at all, we usually meet in the middle pretty easily, it's happened several times over the past few years, but since the job change and move in October, we've had 3 arguements already. It really feels like I'm just getting lectured.",4.3037364881095375,4.620544019337019,5.0863824165265425,86.62884338217633,70.13259668508286,8.284602450156138,27.34134037953398,8.18289091462,1.5226323324525586,1373,42,299,18,23,446,189,362,0.11800000000000001,0.7829999999999999,0.099,-0.8456,4,0,0,0,4,0,39.0,4,0,0,1,15,18,4,2,19,1,36,2,1,3,3,51,59,22,0,2,13,1,2,3,0,1,1,3,0,0,24,20,0,3,6,1,1,10,6,10,0,0,14,5,32,8,44,38,10,53,0,1,0,1,30,26,1,3,17,200,56,5,0.0,0.3319773301156662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10306492231345928,0.0,0.15542607932294175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130609453838639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05693339763447625,0.0,0.0,0.1052254256399244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09594352511871944,0.2964020798869699,0.0,0.09792403726145454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08173155928843989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10505804531903763,0.0,0.0965031409492926,0.0,0.06168724531860378,0.0,0.07869024508005258,0.0,0.08393839533335583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09444775202544294,0.13344438956339408,0.0,0.10231086588123753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975912182714998,0.0,0.1592374732739503,0.0,0.14939479123787516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08258986560720477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10526419611926437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09998246013105043,0.10543283229087096,0.0,0.0,0.278043663488388,0.1660294956173243,0.0,0.0,0.051328055795143136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09550384329327798,0.0,0.13688585520046054,0.09360743143493368,0.0,0.08265261232083622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09382893894572192,0.10173573638181098,0.10374201600185866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09926527706905586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0891571484859972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08828950580471186,0.0,0.0,0.09501741345132124,0.0,0.08936745733537138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05983193524861509,0.0,0.0922173845121305,0.0,0.0,0.1595195236364411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2110220249259352,0.0,0.0772582216890164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2139698413075907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08163231078957969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10892003768549344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06340982338605486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11234401258094304,0.0,0.10286261276377524,0.0,0.0,0.22240043844881888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09003051062924984,0.0,0.06799347546590312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20422795454881276,0.0,0.1804320850321212
bipolarreddit,Initial-Tea,2020/01/30,Is there anyone here that eventually was able to get off meds and live normally. Shit getting more depressing each day. Meds making feel like I got the flu. An ppl talking bout 30+lb of weight gain.,3.3079729729729728,6.109124054054058,3.32560810810811,87.69489864864866,78.72972972972974,6.943243243243244,22.763513513513516,8.07648339933343,1.3418702702702707,158,5,30,3,4,48,36,37,0.198,0.674,0.128,-0.4927,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,1,0,2,0,2,3,1,1,0,5,7,1,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,1,1,3,5,2,2,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,2,14,2,0,0.25248965721068195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17654663899865125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16283494095270964,0.0,0.2174689717788414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12766635715107094,0.18037866156113014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2638308495325776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2019390442405272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12335369276792715,0.0,0.22295299314199093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16853880680245012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5609181788846623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2473862554362413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2591770047528952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20294162232771698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3074643813729241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,seussnews,2020/01/30,"I dont know my baseline because of chronic alcohol abuse I have been diagnosed as BPII by one practitioner and then with major depressive disorder and ADHD by another. I dont know whats wrong with me. I know that last year I essentially had a nervous breakdown after starting an SNRI antidrepssjnt. It induced this rapid personality change that developed into a manic and numbed, dulled, emotionless state that lasted several months until I stopped taking the SNRI. I did alot of harm during that period that I am still paying for and will likely be paying for, very long term (divorce, bankruptcy). 

During that period, it was like I could not feel guilt, remorse, fear, or fear of consequence. I did what I wanted and regressed to almost my early-teen years. I have always heavily binged drank alcohol (when I feel ""good"") so I dont have a baseline to follow. On my ""bad"" days-No rhyme or reason I dont want to get out of bed and am severely depressed and anxious. Between good and bad days there is no real middle ground for me. Its either/or. Has anyone else experienced a prolonged hypomanic or manic episode triggered by medications? I just want to know what is actually wrong with me so I can get the right help. Seeing a therapist while I know is crucial, I want to learn about other's experiences so I can have abetter understanding if what I experienced sounds like BPII or hypomania.",6.088344141807179,7.5681581478599265,6.87483138780804,71.20375594466063,66.74319066147861,9.913445741461306,32.176610462602675,10.125756701596842,3.5127113705144826,1112,46,185,27,18,368,155,257,0.174,0.752,0.07400000000000001,-0.9724,0,0,2,0,2,0,34.0,0,0,0,0,8,18,0,4,9,0,24,7,0,3,0,41,43,21,0,6,7,0,2,3,0,1,6,1,1,1,15,13,3,1,11,0,2,1,6,13,0,1,6,6,27,5,26,34,3,26,0,3,1,0,3,6,0,7,21,126,42,3,0.0,0.11786377939529795,0.09707503836538013,0.0,0.119551820833734,0.0,0.0,0.21262096122838664,0.09961167788931652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08277269318004013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10431013193857436,0.0,0.11238050525055612,0.0,0.06955651391383022,0.10192577005298753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1661179992064885,0.06064015350093348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10523329814097056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07942415588034547,0.0,0.0,0.06415432715273273,0.0,0.17135849934222647,0.1009668905496075,0.0,0.0,0.1140090677862518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4663444251437822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0831001285810268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09730742984250193,0.0,0.22387818450080535,0.10059695044746028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039450779720059,0.0,0.0,0.16687289413743414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06667722363470258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2733493267260363,0.16217379021681072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14579806609742732,0.0,0.0,0.08803386600194005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10021244278665646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07940145826989042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06740807587086667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08685933273693641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11322641311147895,0.0,0.10227875117997044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08495267102987608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.079270155826918,0.0,0.0,0.22476101050111225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07041021372226712,0.0,0.07944232656650548,0.0831670858630148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07479419764948733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11550026917445287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10355889039241488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08207880448953478,0.23469605157185375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2175245994017795,0.0,0.12811963671525414
bipolarreddit,TomasCarl,2020/01/30,"A 10 Year Bi - Polar Stream of Conciousness Hello Everyone, I’m Tomas

Serious Post. . . . . 

I have a book I’d love to publish . . . 

Title: 

A 10 Year Bi - Polar Stream of 
Consciousness 

Fri 13th May 2011 - Sun 19th Jan 2020 

36, two daughters, Chlo 17 & Juno 3.

Diagnosed Type 2 @ 21, Jan 2004 | Sectioned 4 times between 2006 - 2010, 8 admissions total 2004 - 2020 

I am trying to source a publisher for a coffee ( not sure how to go about this ) I currently work as a Global Business Development Manager for a marketing agency.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/tomascullen

I’m an Official Suicide Survivor, 2006, flex of stereo, close, thank God ! ICU & then 7 day 24/7 watch - nightmare ! Long time ago - Experience 

Escaped from Barcelona “”””” ward same year. Ledges, ladders & roofs - Then had to Consciously walk back to ultimately be strapped to a bed for 24 hours - as we say in Ireland, some dose ! 

Any help would be so appreciated. Not sure where to start . . at all ! ! ! 

Much Love xxx

Tomas",2.5307514450867075,5.516223763005785,3.0694936416184966,85.38114219653181,88.82658959537571,6.69863583815029,24.261040462427744,7.839951260653429,1.8619661965317915,753,30,136,17,25,234,131,173,0.055,0.8109999999999999,0.134,0.9421,1,1,0,0,0,1,59.0,1,0,0,1,5,6,0,0,9,0,7,6,0,1,4,15,14,6,1,1,2,1,0,0,0,2,2,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,2,2,0,2,2,1,0,1,1,2,4,5,20,9,6,23,0,0,1,4,7,6,0,2,14,56,5,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14526876288393106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5326881807579614,0.0,0.11144327618920204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260127635952971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10568833744456828,0.0,0.0,0.16633364065577555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1565933182084922,0.0,0.16030501662926294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09313615925682857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10984457672815316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16138771218737527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14502767544288128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2958142230758371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12046985255808487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.156950692285041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303230842091941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1159943336278317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17925692528447226,0.0,0.3089078602364056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1508776794449617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1911182167281113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11126302034140167,0.0,0.16008587928936271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11930579585101182,0.0,0.0,0.11641487338956025,0.0,0.0,0.3165979287617039
bipolarreddit,bipolar_batman,2020/01/30,"Actually having good days I recently added Wellbutrin to my med regimen and I've been amazed at the difference it has made. I have tried a ton of different combos of meds and the best I've gotten to in the last decade is ""not wanting to die"". But since adding it I have actually had a bunch of days where I actually felt good.

It made me suspicious as hell for about a week bit things seem to be alright.

I haven't been active on here for a bit but I wanted to share a rare happy moment with some folks that would get it.",5.450555555555557,4.877114796296297,6.398518518518523,81.24833333333333,67.70370370370371,10.162962962962963,28.185185185185183,9.725611199111238,2.163951851851852,410,11,90,8,6,137,73,108,0.057,0.777,0.166,0.895,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,3,8,1,0,8,1,11,0,0,2,0,14,19,5,1,3,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,7,1,8,7,16,10,6,10,1,0,0,0,1,4,1,2,6,60,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.4528141735541187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16231925656877375,0.0,0.3377246418895386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19950194625209527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16052564560083085,0.32319970488861555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14850986535989444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808100025325324,0.0,0.0,0.25946392577604865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16465176287592714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12607873940563413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2927097373199684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34361258007938905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15272044366199006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408080438887449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12794669850272006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10275754275567174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10501248122877392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18245970749095644,0.0,0.1240689577124846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10987491323765801,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,disabledandthriving,2020/01/30,"What age were you diagnosed with bipolar disorder? Original diagnoses for me was 20, now starting treatment at 29 after more diagnosis.",7.834090909090907,11.175964227272733,8.545454545454547,53.38818181818184,65.81818181818181,13.490909090909092,47.36363636363637,12.161744961471696,8.146018181818182,111,8,13,5,2,37,22,22,0.10800000000000001,0.8,0.092,-0.1027,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,4,1,1,6,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,5,11,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8332363145393867,0.0,0.0,0.47043389644456496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2905326026607071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,NlightendOne,2020/01/30,"Today I was diagnosed with bi-polar 2 Today I start taking meds to help me. I still have questions and figured I would turn here for anwsers. Will I get better? Will i feel ""Normal""? What is normal. I am (M25) and want to know what huge life changes I should really make to get a healthy head start.",1.625,3.779896833333332,2.8633333333333333,92.345,80.66666666666666,5.333333333333334,20.0,6.42735559955562,0.12300000000000022,230,6,48,2,6,74,44,60,0.0,0.782,0.218,0.8823,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,0,8,3,1,1,0,13,18,2,0,5,0,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,9,1,5,13,0,6,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,5,29,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18602368801809774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22250591047301266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21348499292756493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10635139468942546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21978209009819927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21586378035715464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14098271758790418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.115594287919941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1485654101313907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403998481880536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23363410675392665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.412166116113199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2356226701802749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347456053574139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2977515479916891,0.0,0.16797332702711082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15814529564400626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39874484316613773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22878343290608405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240606812718652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494155260730817,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,9amom,2020/01/30,"Bipolar and drinking I’m bipolar. I take meds. I work. I exercise. I raise kids. I vacation. 

I DRINK. I once read that those with bipolar tend  gravitate to alcohol quite a bit, statistically. For me, I think it numbs the chaos in my head. But at some point it’s unnecessary and probably unhealthy. 

Point of this post is to ask those like me, do you tend to drink or want to or is it just me?",0.10660529344073666,2.482424746835445,2.296985040276184,91.3859608745685,92.67088607594937,6.417031070195629,22.37169159953969,7.686295010490155,1.2371924050632908,301,12,67,7,11,101,55,79,0.11599999999999999,0.833,0.05,-0.7184,0,0,4,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,2,1,2,0,0,2,0,3,10,1,0,0,10,10,5,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,0,6,0,0,1,7,3,4,0,1,5,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,13,1,9,10,2,5,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,3,1,41,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2131235410854962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18643446182601053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2177192900058884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5860786134150442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20466649424908298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09742846284010508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.221515038267314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2123799855323459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3770401619452352,0.0,0.1909930067859305,0.0,0.21501273466366752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21211190569626467,0.1994779050020451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14994198279994475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12778280711816314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11762540555926085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.145183002029644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,realitynote,2020/01/30,"Thank You, things are finally looking up. I wanted to thank the people on this subreddit for their help with what to do next. I was (am) unmedicated and really had no support or help. But now I have my first appointment with a counselor today that I'm super scared for and am looking for a psychiatrist. Although the search is hard and so many doctors have been called. 

I am worried as last time I went to a psychiatrist it went really bad. I hope this time I can get a clear diagnosis as last time they had called it manic depressive, but said nothing more and that meeting ended in like ten minutes. 

But this subreddit helped me figure out my next moves and I appreciate it. I hope everyone here finds what they are looking for and has a great day. If anyone wants to talk, I'm always open. 

Wish me luck on my first step. :)",3.3062732919254643,5.3283971118012445,4.5061801242236035,83.23827639751555,74.77639751552796,7.829813664596273,25.16459627329193,8.634040054169528,1.7827689440993797,649,22,128,13,14,213,99,161,0.06,0.696,0.244,0.9873,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,3,3,3,12,0,1,7,0,15,1,0,0,1,24,32,15,0,6,5,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,11,10,0,0,2,0,0,4,1,3,0,3,7,5,18,9,17,25,1,24,0,1,3,0,12,6,0,5,15,88,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10487909135444608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08813321998835877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052418626545085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2574109809528858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08128825195525932,0.0,0.10856191224673067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12901184998205842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11163798322608988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204408869778868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13807554943228814,0.11520235671230727,0.2144267135712555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06585303020622184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13896446666186718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11291108219040945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2534548421772669,0.0,0.0,0.250381186166624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20548612236707006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061578958414355324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3175368142391736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277893031508003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13396531788488872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2680994350572746,0.0,0.0,0.12094306275549585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08738336093863315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16149462252893776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11989714926438085,0.0,0.1261924972127841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14303376418222807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10130976577548867,0.0,0.2320896158969188,0.0,0.0,0.08373834123173272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2204926219430232,0.0,0.11947541398783885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486885812679335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336889620384805,0.0,0.0,0.14494491324725478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12800427165177786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BluEyedChaotic,2020/01/30,"Crashing with kids Bipolar 1. Actively crashing after an over week long manic episode. I have 2 kids. I won't lie, I usually buy them lunchables and let them have extra screen time when I'm crashing so that I can lay in the dark and try to reset. Not my best, but there it is. 

Today I also have my nephew for the day, so that isn't an option. Every single thing the kids do grates at me. It's like I'm encompassed in static and they are this booming outside force pushing against it. If that makes sense... 

What do you guys do to cope with crashing around your kids?",1.9000553359683816,3.968187843478262,2.852490118577077,93.23233201581029,79.26086956521739,5.225296442687747,22.62845849802372,6.1124844417494595,0.3123043478260872,442,14,93,3,11,140,81,115,0.02,0.934,0.045,0.4051,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,2,3,1,7,2,0,0,5,0,12,1,0,1,0,11,15,9,0,1,3,1,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,5,9,6,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,2,13,2,12,13,3,15,0,0,1,0,11,6,0,2,9,65,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394930367979295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2665995680158829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31428445682267125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19313900931507694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2523237512996061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.296531032393734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30623729763167645,0.0,0.14631018304279594,0.0,0.0,0.265029257111719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19990438161809454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19896036485181576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1746284591726665,0.0,0.283870824382107,0.0,0.0,0.20332640328846416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3298335174154113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2402237775571755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,iphany,2020/01/30,"Hypo progress I seem to have two “big” hypo to depressive episodes a year. This last one I saw coming because I got suddenly and completely obsessed with fountain pens and ink and bought many hundreds of dollars worth online over the course of a day or two. So A few days ago when I had an intense conversation with someone about spirituality and left making plans to start my own religion, I stopped myself mid-google (how to get religious tax exemption) (five acre properties for sale in my area) (how many tiny houses will fit on five acres) (is it legal to live off the grid in my area) (how to start a religious charter school) I called my psych and said “so, just wanted to let you know I’m about to start my own religion and I thought that seemed like a significant thing to tell you”.


She was very proud (of the call, not the religion. Nobody seemed to be impressed with the notion of a religion that combines Christianity, Buddhism, quantum mechanics and witchcraft)


So we upped trileptal. And I wrote all my ideas down in calligraphy with 4 different shades of ink.

Hooray progress!",6.570172215843858,7.589427218905477,6.232039800995025,77.92064293915041,65.3681592039801,9.766704936854193,33.869498660543435,9.851270322608157,3.2600697282816675,865,37,158,18,13,269,132,201,0.032,0.835,0.133,0.9565,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,1,2,0,4,10,5,0,1,12,0,7,0,0,4,1,31,25,16,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,5,14,0,1,6,0,5,1,1,2,0,5,8,2,19,3,30,14,4,25,1,1,1,0,10,13,0,4,12,100,24,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309522954350939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09005384927277445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30169438597270165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12725491859118926,0.15489039576279456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19054516765098625,0.0,0.12723823721138944,0.0,0.0,0.1543447147000044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771819812774197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1181518807172536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1704587161091485,0.0,0.1667673594413112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08118765420810459,0.12041834673088685,0.0,0.0,0.16050731709962596,0.15106227743723247,0.0,0.07217262441130208,0.0,0.13044686603493658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098609840768747,0.2995467808346263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10010457351743554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14052351882305822,0.0,0.0,0.14950900738523734,0.0,0.4034591065415213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251697769634214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3136887231186481,0.0,0.0,0.12350754050529465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291211154976192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981441714209704,0.0,0.0,0.11727983228683375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28861832294169426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12189138485403578,0.08713402602469364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09513223324426867
bipolarreddit,hamboneZA,2020/01/30,"Why Mac Miller's ""Good News"" nailed a bipolar existence ... according to me.

[**https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIHF7u9Wwiw**](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIHF7u9Wwiw)

It’s clear the lyrics are multifarious, and fascinating. Alex has a keen eye for lyrics that speak sense, brilliant song and I can identify with it a lot. This is obviously my own interpretation (apologies for the pronoun switches):

The subject is suffering severe anxiety and is wrestling with guilt for past mistakes and compounding angst is a fear of making mistakes in future.   


>I spent a whole day in my head  
>  
>Do a little spring cleaning  
>  
>I’m always too busy dreaming, well  
>  
>Maybe I should wake up instead

Here the frustration is that the subject has persistent feelings of inadequacy on the one hand, and a drive to be the best at something, or everything.

Having ambition is for the most part a positive trait but it can become all consuming insofar as the desire to outperform inevitably leads to a plethora of half-finished projects, endless lists of tasks not yet started. With these comes a swath of guilt and despair once the reality hits that one cannot possibly be all things to all people and, considering that these ambitions were dreamed up by the subject themselves, the self-loathing becomes the proverbial albatross around ones neck further compounding the ability to perform.  


>A lot of things I regret, but I just say I forget  
>  
>Why can't it just be easy?  
>  
>Why does everybody need me to stay?  
>  
>Oh I hate the feeling

This is classic post-manic guilt, at least that’s how it applies to me. When I’m feeling ‘up’ it’s as if people cannot keep pace with me and my ambitions. If I’m particularly manic the inability people have to keep up with me becomes frustrating and ultimately triggers nasty, sarcastic and judgmental aspersions on the offending parties character. It is only once the mind returns to ‘normal’ do I realize that my expectations of people were unrealistic and that how I expressed my frustration at the time was offensive and totally out of character for an otherwise pleasant, positive person that has a positive contribution to make to a group of friends, at the workplace or to society generally that everyone ‘needs \[them\] to stay’.  


>Got the cards in my hand I hate dealing, yeah  
>  
>Get everything I need then I’m gone  
>  
>But it ain't stealing  
>  
>Can I get a break?

Here the subject has worked hard to get to a place where they’re comfortable with who they are and where they are in life, with everything they need to succeed – that is legitimately earned rather than manipulated or coaxed from others. The cards are a creeping anxiety that being in control at a point in time inevitably means a fall into a dark space is inevitable, especially when the only person to blame when things go wrong is their own. Can I get a break? No…  


>I wish that I could just get out my god damn way  
>  
>What is there to say?  
>  
>There ain’t no better time than today

… the self loathing is relentless, the guilt all consuming and leaves nothing that can be said to the people left in the wake. Now the pre-chorus links the last line of this verse – a clever switch from feeling positive and up beat to justifying reasons to lie in bed to wrestle the black dog.  


>Well, maybe I’ll lay down for a little  
>  
>Instead of always tryin’ to figure everything out  
>  
>And all I do is say sorry  
>  
>Half the time I don’t even know what I'm saying it about

Now we’re back in a slump and overthinking why it all went awry. Again the theme of guilt for actions past surfaces and, importantly, that even when apologizing one has no idea of the extent of their poor behavior and in some cases cannot remember what exactly they did to offend while on the ‘up’ train. This happens a lot in post-manic episodes: apologizing generally because self-awareness dictates you’ve caused harm and it needs to rectified, but fail to truly  apologize because of a failure to recall ones actions during a manic episode.  


>Good news, good news, good news, that's all they wanna hear  
>  
>No, they don’t like it when I'm down  
>  
>But when I'm flying know it make ‘em so uncomfortable, so different  
>  
>What's the difference?

This is articulates with mind blowing accuracy the labyrinth that is a bipolar existence. On the one hand there’s pressure to ‘fit in’ and project a successful, ambitious person by singing from the rooftops that you’ve got it all figured out (you don’t – quit lying to yourself). And when they’re not misrepresenting the truth, they’re avoiding life entirely in a depression that grips so severely it’s suffocating. Then imagine the frustration that ensues once the black dog has lifted and you’re flying again, doing great things, being everyone for all people and it’s rejected by the very people you feel you need to appease and make proud. What’s the difference? None – either way you’re a disappointment to yourself and everyone you hold dear.  


>When it ain’t that bad  
>  
>It could always be worse  
>  
>I’m runnin’ out of gas, hardly anything left  
>  
>Hope I make it home from work, well

This bridge is the space between the ‘up’ and the down. It’s repeated throughout the song between the poles. The words are flat, boring even. Often that’s what it feels like to be sit with regular people, doing ordinary things (like go to work and commuting). It’s dead boring, BUT it’s also a place where you’re waiting for the next mood shift, but apprehensive too about what this next ride will bring with it.  


>So tired of being so tired  
>  
>Why I gotta build somethin’ beautiful just to go set it on fire?  
>  
>I’m no liar but, sometimes the truth don’t sound like the truth,  
>  
>Maybe cause it ain't, I just love the way it sounds when I say it

This mental gymnastics is exhausting, from overthinking problems to navigating how to make amends with the people you’ve scorned or distanced yourself from in times of depression. The rhetoric is telling of a self-awareness that there is a problem – that all the effort it takes to build friendships, a career, a business, a life you and your kin can be proud of only to decimate it all in one fell swoop. The truth often doesn’t sound like the truth because misrepresenting the facts to oneself is a mechanism of self-preservation. Admitting failure of one’s own doing would be too much to fathom.  


>Its what I do, if you know me it ain't anything new  
>  
>Wake up to the moon, haven't seen the sun in a while  
>  
>But I heard that the sky is still blue

What is true, and I’ve only recently learned this, is that people care immensely and many are sensitized to the cycles, some without even knowing it. Building a healthy ecosystem and then unwittingly destroying it is standard procedure. Knowing that inevitably the good times will end again leads to being bedridden, unable to move seeking refuge under the blankets and waking up when the sun goes down and staying up until it rises wrecked with anxiety about what the next day will hold, there’s a rumor that things will get better.  


>Heard they don't talk about me too much, no more  
>  
>That's the problem with a closed door

The consequences of alienating oneself from relationships, friendships and kinship again come-to-the-fore. People move on, their priorities shift and their loyalties wane. It’s not necessarily these people’s fault though – there are only so many times a person will reach out to help and have their hand bitten. Here comes the kicker:  


>There's a whole lot more waiting on the other side  
>  
>I’m always wondering if it feel like summer  
>  
>I know maybe I'm too late, I could make it there some other time

When life isn’t going a certain kind of way, the creeping “what-if” I rebooted the system and opt-ed out for now. At its least severe this may simply be a hibernation into obscurity while things cool down after the inferno created while on a ‘high’ and at worst amounts to suicidal ideation. The latter doesn’t necessarily translate into actioning the ideation and, in my case, remains a ‘what-if’ scenario. It’s still a pretty scary place to be once you realize you’re in it.  


>Then I finally discover  
>  
>That it ain’t that bad  
>  
>Ain't so bad  
>  
>When it ain't that bad

We’re find ourselves out of the scary space of the previous verse. Quite why one can never really tell. Did circumstances change so much while you were wrapped up in what-ifs? Possibly. It could also be that time has healed the wounds that were inflicted on the people who once loved you. Whatever the reason, we take it by the horns and return to the placid, boring place that is real life between the poles.  


>Please don't gotta be no more  
>  
>No more, no more, no more, no more  
>  
>No more, no more, no more, no more  
>  
>Yeah

\-ENDS-

Sorry-not-sorry for the long read. This song speaks mostly to the depressive state, but clearly the mania feeds off a desire to spring into action after a depression and bring people “good news” – the title of the song.

This song from Mac Miller was released posthumously btw.",6.316187488447557,7.758139526503871,5.95223362633752,78.1680501786778,66.18284693269803,9.19644492822082,32.16323858618636,9.47194297320678,2.961365320079686,7311,297,1297,143,116,2262,628,1679,0.171,0.705,0.124,-0.9982,1,2,2,0,0,0,349.0,1,10,13,22,71,89,12,9,140,2,112,25,10,19,25,225,186,90,2,29,26,1,15,6,1,10,12,18,4,5,110,71,1,8,29,9,2,23,38,49,2,9,15,39,65,39,196,140,49,190,0,10,5,2,59,88,1,22,72,824,175,16,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05610854631000978,0.11676085127954375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08051063600682848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057737368657117524,0.031229538879806562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02697513331888219,0.11716472096670495,0.06415517913399159,0.11623266694499353,0.0,0.0,0.03681535846703909,0.0620526097505841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035767430440462385,0.07207572703642423,0.037111059824910586,0.0906575583812103,0.0,0.0,0.03934633870456965,0.11203733618497952,0.0,0.0,0.04524870198029112,0.036166983657097564,0.12086089921989053,0.0,0.0,0.1099565748707783,0.0,0.0,0.030699630591254762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062142729252664786,0.0,0.0,0.09268271203733663,0.0,0.0,0.10056423289992507,0.12611420859169634,0.0,0.0,0.039475892351924016,0.12416609849482872,0.05012376491697652,0.0,0.03842953462983365,0.03206341003107965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027103503363948168,0.0,0.1099702872171672,0.0,0.07974939176257724,0.1765457341038872,0.056114981081843686,0.038676940311705765,0.0,0.0,0.03102202364419078,0.0,0.06285139347218349,0.06927047432743039,0.0360032398682612,0.0,0.03953885088552179,0.0,0.02351406331436651,0.0370650159634392,0.035189116035468815,0.034843361130957214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039602193224976934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062363231866360974,0.0,0.03653147628051868,0.11567764268271448,0.02859570752361224,0.039572910309205366,0.03714572711550214,0.0762312458156896,0.0,0.1238937835758554,0.10283286467083244,0.07032078160914593,0.0,0.031045592274791624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11929848984080345,0.06332396717144984,0.0,0.16391793854406514,0.07113328132240057,0.14097436972846206,0.03821350714512338,0.0,0.0,0.035353409625626935,0.0,0.07084364464126316,0.0,0.0,0.0745711292697579,0.07736574234885762,0.15607275829401632,0.027056639644259996,0.03388146063696311,0.11192716486880508,0.0,0.034371944008950696,0.03366117779368121,0.0,0.0,0.1868006678473008,0.2139462187792735,0.1334034547193582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03798931809812616,0.06697759217905676,0.3404905990015967,0.12252554849071208,0.14660876649437107,0.038508417277464034,0.03316289615524885,0.07909714152500708,0.06719582569392746,0.03569000173357347,0.0,0.10070337398286988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0746259503561202,0.03509050608677745,0.03992987262559422,0.022473795014848776,0.07213824751120777,0.034638267803297935,0.03766387890136453,0.039739948716467285,0.0,0.03337007651693905,0.13948914660586498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18298573547883515,0.11889467669977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027007077453906504,0.034696018546371374,0.07854064311074616,0.02483052132635265,0.11217507547579007,0.05603148406296785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03837293397842762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05275311127867519,0.02819678913621657,0.0613247026575463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631438620529601,0.0,0.03446691682883772,0.0,0.1841041853989704,0.08064092686948024,0.0332526980927276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028945509430748813,0.0,0.11138269987184786,0.0,0.0,0.09462613034239163,0.03252045020350147,0.1899309445744676,0.07833339565399082,0.04034143326574415,0.03381684434168053,0.03804386178104327,0.076618185102239,0.0,0.03575054896195485,0.024920544874879456,0.03835558024122334,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,shansramoray_,2020/01/30,"Anyone else feel like they’re on a verge of a panic attack? Just on the verge. It never happens. Am I in a manic stage? I don’t know! 

(Taking lamictal 50mg and serotia 25)",-1.6707207207207233,0.21910954054053988,1.8041891891891917,93.11096846846847,102.24324324324324,3.547747747747748,14.274774774774775,5.46131890053228,-0.7439333333333336,131,3,28,1,6,47,32,37,0.198,0.731,0.07,-0.6759,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,1,4,0,2,0,0,0,1,5,6,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,2,1,4,6,0,7,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,2,16,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2448323696717204,0.35876909880220365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3983451139371271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2925046161129137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17704588955041894,0.2501465640960865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3096356643901509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19243277054803007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1710651478806101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2700565471970478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4108244873908491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26326852249819177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Potatochode420,2020/01/30,"I’ve barely slept and I can’t stop obsessing over politics I keep staying up and researching and reading political theory. I’ve always been pretty politically active even as a teenager. I participate in a lot of political functions and rallies. But every now and then I get this surge and I feel like I’m fighting in a secret war. 

I won’t say what “side” I’m on (even though you could check my post history and figure it out) so I won’t cause any discourse and reaaaally don’t want start any kind of political discussion here. But I’ve just been obsessing lately and I need to stop and I can’t. I’m going to try to turn my phone off and not look it. 

Just a rant I guess",1.6559627329192566,3.8648395652173946,4.073126293995859,83.41695652173915,80.8840579710145,7.421118012422363,23.625258799171853,8.418075326091056,1.6586215320910975,532,19,109,12,14,185,85,138,0.139,0.7859999999999999,0.075,-0.8074,0,0,0,0,2,0,9.0,0,1,0,0,8,6,2,2,4,0,8,1,1,1,0,29,22,17,1,3,5,0,1,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,4,12,0,3,3,1,1,1,6,4,0,0,3,3,13,2,13,16,1,17,0,0,1,0,6,8,0,2,7,66,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644411175889145,0.0,0.0,0.26878565601364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20301690121335428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15778871575571266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2610609392030244,0.0,0.16650888834972272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09992591953988783,0.1411844437649402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10325171341474057,0.0,0.1123157202500795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21770792074736156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17565955424577612,0.0,0.20579763579691804,0.0,0.0,0.22293135160215094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965503477465874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.165956524904935,0.0,0.0,0.16801502199674734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14653757954999874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18927160179681252,0.20105724504416447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19768002629084086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15716056132188225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13988108625364798,0.21064360271117105,0.0,0.33044928274063284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941670777856421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13417545201089606,0.2149609318748858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11656525700521625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,chinesefuckmachine,2020/01/30,"Hypomania. What’s it like? I’ve been very down the past few months but, recently, as the sun is out more and the temp is in the 50s I feel way more energetic and optimistic. Not irrationally so. Just like “hm I should feel this way all the time”.   No bipolar dx just Mdd, anxiety and adhd (which I’m not being treated for because I get tired of dealing with controlled rx stigma)",1.262666666666668,3.7761363333333335,3.078666666666667,87.83266666666668,85.66666666666666,6.533333333333335,23.0,7.793537801064563,1.3090000000000006,295,11,61,6,9,98,58,75,0.158,0.67,0.172,0.0544,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,5,1,5,4,0,1,1,15,9,6,0,1,5,0,2,2,0,1,4,0,0,0,4,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,1,2,3,3,7,6,4,9,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,6,38,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3171705629619409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20189171883430487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16087811536336316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2959993987711845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27208136183265297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2668833580548228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13788296433959987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578678399620266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21065179136405154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519335682666694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26058095319198543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15388902749708408,0.30332766218658364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21775478153021227,0.0,0.4189616274480609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,p1netr3e,2020/01/30,"I would like to share this recent small victory with a group of people who would best understand it There's no one IRL that would understand why this is such a big deal for me, but I was able to have my first (relatively) normal sleep in several months without having to take any zopiclone! Not necessarily planning on going off it forever cold-turkey, but this is the most momentum I've had in removing an extra medication in a long while. I've accepted this I'll always have to take my Seroquel, and really appreciate how crucial it is and how much it has helped me, but, the fewer medications I'm shackled to daily, the better! Thanks for reading, and I wish you all the best.",8.937888040712465,7.126491503816794,9.408969465648855,66.4924872773537,61.44274809160305,13.008142493638676,37.100508905852415,11.855464076750405,4.352403562340967,541,20,99,14,6,183,91,131,0.011000000000000001,0.774,0.215,0.9828,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,5,4,7,0,0,8,0,12,3,1,2,1,21,20,9,0,5,5,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,10,4,0,0,3,1,0,2,3,0,0,2,2,0,8,7,15,15,6,14,0,0,0,0,6,7,0,1,6,74,18,1,0.16270508416999696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13538366406197505,0.0,0.0,0.11064503663067217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3414978954608585,0.14389942485994425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16774179742299564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13839686147706864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09246904887394536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10905778824317072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07948948557420922,0.0,0.0,0.14398887946003888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32781650971652043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12986964588744296,0.0,0.11960695795187405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15941643692623753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110253175874265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11279921888282747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16274911447649848,0.0,0.10423304322108966,0.0,0.16065164173026195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838104329511553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16282258783592585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2446679487965465,0.0,0.0,0.1497969813862678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3387634614478977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468160313064811,0.0,0.1871028170547416,0.15684189499540854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34674307067233345,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Schiity_nurse,2020/01/30,"I forgot it got this bad Major depressive episode, the worst in a decade. Absolutely life-endingly bad. Intrusive thoughts of self-harm were just the beginning. Can't eat or sleep, going longer than 5 minutes without crying has been impossible for 72 hours now. My psychiatrist shrugs and says, ""Hey, sometimes the drugs just don't work."" I'm going to have to lift my ten-year-old prohibition on ECT and go under the electrodes again if I can't manage to give ketamine a try. Only consolation is I'm sober. I don't know how it could get any worse, but I know if I was still drinking it would be.",4.944224137931034,6.032916525862074,5.628793103448277,80.53301724137933,69.08620689655173,8.90344827586207,29.15517241379311,9.188382445141503,2.32983103448276,471,17,93,9,8,153,89,116,0.109,0.8740000000000001,0.017,-0.8293,0,0,2,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,1,6,4,0,0,6,0,13,4,1,1,0,16,26,7,0,4,7,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,4,2,2,1,3,1,0,3,5,4,0,0,6,1,7,0,10,17,2,11,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,3,5,53,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12870862618238235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3160614929240523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511149749075122,0.0,0.2079018425175124,0.0,0.0,0.16301611922259976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18541043496802875,0.21949061387252794,0.1936682581776118,0.0,0.0,0.1676351347053848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988846382778248,0.18156296504687086,0.3226958372660836,0.0,0.15137478713556185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18639070412008796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20803331778015055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.133685477600794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19860476707265173,0.0,0.0,0.1439467263249262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15051338853264565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1974476421300279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18940453390398945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871907401785731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15114954704432226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15025752903754974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12850044419666673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18244745040017865,0.0,0.13778924673310486,0.0,0.19288010562464192,0.13445044809816953,0.0,0.0,0.12188228803182208
bipolarreddit,lilxbreezy,2020/01/30,"Can I just say, American Mental Healthcare really sucks?! I'm in the section of working folks that doesn't quite qualify for free healthcare, and cannot afford private or federal healthcare, yay me. 

I was diagnosed BP2 about a year ago, when I had insurance at a job I could no longer work at because of my mental health, imagine that! I recently decided that DBT therapy is something I'd really like to give a shot, and I was hoping that the local clinic here would have an affordable sliding fee scale. Alas, it does not. I got a bonus from work, which skewed my finances and they would only cover 25% of the $150 visit. I instantly started crying when the receptionist told me how much the visits would be because I know  I cannot afford that even if I go just once a month, and I feel like I need more than that right now because of the episode I'm having. 

I did however, get an appointment for the 25th of February with an intern which will be free of charge, so I'm hoping that will work out. I'm also hoping that my old therapist from when I had insurance will be willing to take me at a much cheaper rate than the one I went to on Monday. 

Thanks for listening, and sorry for a rant. Just frustrated that I can't get the help I need from the places that are supposed to help.",8.807183948863639,6.1486853789062526,8.835582386363637,73.16708806818183,62.3984375,12.43409090909091,37.33522727272727,10.832165505486646,3.7971375,1011,36,200,20,11,333,144,256,0.086,0.8029999999999999,0.111,0.8455,5,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,1,6,13,12,2,0,20,1,25,3,0,1,0,27,48,13,0,10,6,0,1,2,0,7,3,2,0,0,13,7,0,0,4,0,5,5,6,2,0,1,8,3,25,12,27,29,4,26,0,0,0,0,9,10,1,5,13,136,38,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10846407331931512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09785063081295944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22376714996301944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09769388748490944,0.0,0.13440586694496773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12419204127160838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10707738541225384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08081711641753347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06186850240589833,0.0874134572788183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278552933858781,0.11737812145733142,0.0695395693180333,0.0,0.09786185274837736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13006213810497658,0.0,0.0,0.16402962326444415,0.0,0.0,0.3645909677435007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12142265393351795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06724543200554813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11955707686964298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2466186462321087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09766596880226946,0.0,0.17989622354073992,0.18145563502820064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1283954272582006,0.1303085849642096,0.08291377990373226,0.09305970698149063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12783935093346727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13014410098983875,0.0,0.0,0.15677290991028794,0.0,0.1208149766024596,0.0,0.0,0.10449411256744652,0.0,0.09730496963176724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09419811201944307,0.0,0.1369711385923213,0.0866064917017746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09199891202748417,0.0,0.0,0.11265193810896455,0.13992844148606656,0.1420684951087789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169194864077659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11342823067103268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3563159025162951,0.0,0.0,0.2607614557757228,0.0,0.0,0.07879533143999634
bipolarreddit,MasterofNoneZero,2020/01/31,"All I Want is a Real Life.. For the past couple of weeks I've been pretty unstable, but only 'small' ups and downs. I know that that's bad, but ... I was reminded what happy felt like. It was worth it to feel something good. Something at all. 

And then the big down hit. Of course, this is a very important week. All I want to do is throw it all away. My logic-brain is telling me to ride it out, but the rest is trying to kill me and/or any chance of progressing in my life.

It just makes me think... how will I ever be able to have a real life? How will I be able to have a real job, when this happens and I mess it all up? How will I ever be anything but alone, when people can't/don't care to understand that I am actually 3 different people even though I DON'T WANT TO BE. Will I ever finish school, when it's taken 10 years to get kinda-sorta-maybe 3/4 of the way there? ..And then what. I have no hope left.

It's just.. a really bad day. Thanks for listening, internet strangers.",0.6740546218487395,2.6840774558823526,2.4858263305322157,94.54264705882356,83.26470588235293,5.8464985994397765,17.067226890756302,7.07126945348624,-0.10562436974789913,747,15,172,10,21,247,115,204,0.14300000000000002,0.71,0.147,-0.4667,2,1,2,0,0,1,42.0,0,0,0,1,14,10,1,0,9,0,22,3,0,4,8,35,39,17,1,4,6,0,2,1,0,4,3,1,0,0,15,5,0,0,5,0,1,2,2,4,0,0,5,3,17,6,23,25,6,28,0,0,0,0,2,11,0,1,15,117,32,2,0.2382653735136316,0.0,0.11625631717798525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12338553494158792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08101431222853546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09803605043809513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11192908081626726,0.0,0.198941634532582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13299147796564129,0.0,0.0,0.12146371392593655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13181805195650015,0.0,0.07683072735687113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244683015610312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07868601603574879,0.32328700693972123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06023706596096904,0.0,0.11438606178662135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062241911810119566,0.0,0.0,0.09992284543957766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10534864145731224,0.12681896031593926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11832563861900867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182208091310116,0.0,0.13180266692041304,0.0,0.0654722090526291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12943801273881736,0.0,0.2524408194853551,0.05820221312493527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07952199349064798,0.0,0.1196847963686552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09060577660302442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11372562965386762,0.16518320958601473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12120077140567735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4067972369807923,0.07631944970320438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12056863918849585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18342832512373805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10412721921118008,0.10968137198442618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07633541530671044,0.11704725986888286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08088327423293737,0.0,0.0,0.12402132835369957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09829694315864644,0.2108026358119537,0.09456198157743366,0.1911221106868569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07671754435282681
bipolarreddit,kimjungoonthispoon,2020/01/31,"should i be absolutely done with my boyfriend? i've been in a relationship for almost 3 years with my boyfriend. i recently got diagnosed with bipolar and depression. before i was diagnosed, he was very understanding when i would get upset over how i was reacting and didn't understand why but he's now latched onto my diagnosis as being the cause of every problem we have instead of what the true problems are. i had a big blow up last night and finally decided we weren't good for each other because i constantly feel unhappy and unloved and he says mean things that he claims he didn't mean when we get into big arguments and he should travel back home. he wouldn't agree with me and said let's sleep on it but when morning came my mind hadn't changed. we still kept talking throughout the day and i decided that maybe we could keep trying since i'll be put on medication soon but then i found out he was on a subreddit for bipolar SO's and was talking about me in chat. he basically said that i'm forcing him to go NC with his family for no reason (not true. and i didn't ask him to do that.), he didn't want to stay and be with me but he also didn't want to leave, and was asking for advice. the people in chat had some mean things to say about me (i felt like) and it really broke my heart when i read it. i kept asking him if he thought these terrible thoughts about me and he said no but it turned out it was true. 

i've since told him to finish getting the rest of his stuff and just go home. he ended up grabbing me by the arms and threw me on the bed (hes saying he didnt. i tripped and we fell) and i had to punch and kick him to make him let go of me. i have a red spot on my arm now and that in combination with what he said about me makes me feel like we shouldn't be together. 

i'm skipping alot of details but basically our relationship hasn't been easy and he treated me really awful in the beginning and i do hold some resentment against him because of it. i've done wrong myself but not to his degree i feel like. he also allowed his family to be rude towards me when i met them and laughed at their rude jokes towards me, & when they're rude towards me OTP  he never says anything even though i tell him how it made me feel and how it was rude. ever since he's moved to my state he's been constantly telling me that he hates it here and that he doesn't feel like i love him and he's depressed.

​

i really don't think the relationship is worth trying to stay. i love him so much and i really want to be with him but i can't stand feeling so upset constantly because it feels like he's not trying to be with me and the mean things he says when hes angry plus i constantly feel disrespected by his family and him. what do you guys think?

​

i skipped things because i didn't want the post to be too long and i feel really disorganized right now.",2.993023154532917,4.288153759599332,4.223703636495607,87.9738613268491,74.00834724540901,7.879814183058723,25.041772519416426,8.456263369488248,1.4129192567322353,2278,72,502,40,46,748,242,599,0.17800000000000002,0.769,0.054000000000000006,-0.9976,1,0,0,0,0,0,44.0,8,1,2,0,32,30,6,2,16,1,55,11,4,10,5,124,111,58,0,13,13,0,11,5,0,5,5,9,3,1,27,52,0,4,24,5,1,10,21,16,0,0,41,21,84,14,65,53,6,69,0,3,1,2,82,24,0,5,35,324,111,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0572992556554071,0.0,0.0,0.05871633978299067,0.0,0.0,0.09378374284098116,0.0,0.1905990223085956,0.1425003928697722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048253135133248234,0.0,0.1644526309085162,0.0,0.0,0.04508812173285458,0.0,0.1429779292106632,0.0,0.04989564443680497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06706494060004188,0.0,0.06023620191577536,0.062030017173244335,0.0,0.0,0.2534624346950071,0.0,0.04681675705562778,0.0,0.0,0.03781592029635919,0.0,0.10100767385186936,0.11903034619957167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12001172102713925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05193484881490255,0.0,0.0,0.03872908943090728,0.053040391988374055,0.049404078968108285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1658328238469578,0.0,0.26683699963131163,0.16756072250465331,0.05630057588086133,0.0642338080425358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06429228448547762,0.0,0.0,0.09190600910902344,0.0,0.099974027229234,0.049181811612649694,0.046897249184009684,0.0,0.0,0.05805970490459165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05789175426950556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06948495499945267,0.0,0.0,0.11763509219568223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05211913054895772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04779686263716164,0.0,0.062087962503851686,0.0,0.11992031314730253,0.0,0.14323502642249974,0.0,0.0,0.051891771106634135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105844101183183,0.05548360958079579,0.07828111150586413,0.0,0.0589086017517479,0.25549089847019585,0.0,0.05907046207657456,0.0,0.0,0.0592065076347272,0.0,0.0,0.062321696699784976,0.043104834957216134,0.0,0.045224357097373054,0.0,0.0,0.05502671585125606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040651411895314335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05615789796128108,0.0,0.0,0.11221510150042566,0.0,0.05894623445801344,0.0,0.0,0.05865272254282445,0.0,0.1878213526232003,0.060288452459721024,0.05789681989215958,0.1888621127571044,0.0,0.05007555342261544,0.22310830563009326,0.2331519013540824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14551503612843614,0.0,0.058679201412332564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12499817019512102,0.046827467809680584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06712516974637041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09426016516918902,0.10250239084894862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558228827216724,0.07514425752133339,0.05761041190654649,0.09310222546819487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05603002737573192,0.0,0.1194317257011278,0.06378005978335323,0.0,0.12208606710925952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04838154597440092,0.13834214423264166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05291064087664297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04165393911811041,0.0641101955125467,0.1425003928697722,0.03776021186293565
bipolarreddit,SBMSP123,2020/01/31,"Upped Latuda to 40mg around 3 weeks ago 20mg did not affect me, and 40 seems to be helping more. However, despite the drowsiness, my insomnia persists because i do not want to sleep. The second I turn off my phone or any other stimulation in order to go to sleep, I’m overwhelmed with anxiety and depressing thoughts that I’ve been able to distract myself from throughout my day. Because of this, I avoid going to sleep for as long as possible. I leave the tv on at night to try and distract me a little bit but it still persists. It’s been like this for around a month and a half. Could this be because of the Latuda or is it just me in a slight mania?",5.085056390977447,5.143144676691732,5.799013157894738,83.09746710526319,68.3984962406015,8.454511278195488,30.910714285714285,8.07648339933343,2.0489105263157903,514,19,105,6,8,168,86,133,0.08199999999999999,0.87,0.048,-0.0928,1,1,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,2,4,6,0,4,8,0,8,4,3,2,0,20,15,9,0,2,6,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,8,7,0,1,2,1,0,2,2,5,0,2,4,0,11,1,24,8,2,19,0,2,0,0,2,9,0,3,8,73,19,0,0.1721133714478011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525681190618839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11704299460349675,0.0,0.1316662580625538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3064347814846044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31475614120806605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18790322464861545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13741852210857086,0.0,0.0,0.11099888599986896,0.0,0.14824099462779738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19563199069597373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153639648872985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18224320915423245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08408589950719764,0.1725028139957497,0.0,0.15231491763936064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13737925103228987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16151673982422698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19403196579813306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15668554923992065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5167130089988531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374499607661194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13663879167940296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11685368139463588,0.1872099245364352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10151692578360198,0.0,0.13805896485690056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,manicpanicdreamgurl,2020/01/31,"I registered my car today i know it seems like a mundane task but for the past six months i’ve been driving without insurance and with an expired registration simply because the avoidance and anxiety around phone calls and dealing with shit was too much to handle. but yesterday i got insurance, and today i went to the dmv to handle registration. most days, it’s the little victories.",8.38042857142857,8.799828042857143,8.260714285714286,67.00678571428574,61.42857142857143,11.571428571428573,38.92857142857143,11.20814326018867,4.752714285714287,313,15,49,8,4,101,51,70,0.147,0.828,0.025,-0.8674,0,1,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,1,6,0,2,1,1,0,0,14,6,6,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,1,2,0,0,3,1,2,0,1,4,0,5,1,8,2,2,11,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,2,7,33,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19239877915819256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22389061068795235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15331363350561822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.256812245646589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16219835262689744,0.259288108252046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2011495819952801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13821923618988827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12287145277507025,0.252071649202387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2007469534656476,0.0,0.1848833286489628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24008766304702034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2289584957382884,0.0,0.0,0.2581637759300187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4767900615924179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2331454039053102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24243950448125146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,foxepower,2020/01/31,"Resources for Publishing Personal Experiences with BiPolar Hello, a friend of mine has written a manuscript for a book detailing a decade of suffering from BiPolar and is keen to find out how he might get it published. 

Does anyone here have any experience in literature on the subject and who/where he might start contacting or talking to publishers to see if they are interested??

Many thanks.",12.206568627450974,10.736698676470589,11.123529411764707,55.68421568627454,54.88235294117647,15.537254901960786,49.137254901960794,14.06817628641468,7.170013725490196,322,18,48,11,3,103,57,68,0.043,0.797,0.16,0.8205,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,0,2,5,0,0,5,0,6,2,0,1,0,10,11,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,4,12,8,0,4,0,1,1,0,8,3,0,4,1,32,3,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16910561914795905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17387737985341814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2176147126067228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4864982440679894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272818800983405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19212352010714728,0.0,0.12992095771808054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2521145739153775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5276038006587214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21713096793241904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19815954279755926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17601145871275067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19987328987789427,0.0,0.22894394593022266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,j_hansen63,2020/01/31,"Advice about work absences Hello, I am a 19 year old male. In April of 2019 I was admitted to a psych unit after attempting suicide and I was diagnosed with Bipolar I. I was skeptical of the diagnosis (due to my age - 18 at the time - and how they diagnosed such a complex disease in about 10 minutes), so I followed up with another psychiatrist who diagnosed Bipolar I, and then just a few weeks ago a nurse practitioner told me she thought I was Bipolar II. Either way, it has greatly impacted my friendships/relationships and most of all, my work life. I’m known at work for my last minute call-ins, and requesting way more days off than anyone else. My bosses are aware of my diagnosis, and are very open-minded/understanding, but I have noticed they seem to be irked by the increase in absences lately (depressive episode). I don’t enjoy missing work, but there are some days it’s just not safe for me to go. I asked for less hours, but I haven’t noticed a difference. I like this job and don’t want to risk being let go, but I also can’t change the fact that I struggle daily with extreme mental duress. Any advice on how to deal with this?",5.585496476617553,6.124773049327358,6.232008327994876,78.752701793722,67.38565022421525,9.42075592568866,32.5204996796925,9.424239791934726,2.8638625240230624,902,37,174,17,14,295,140,223,0.075,0.863,0.062,-0.4135,2,0,0,0,0,1,31.0,0,0,2,5,10,9,1,2,10,0,17,7,0,3,2,33,28,16,1,1,8,0,0,1,0,0,7,0,0,1,6,11,0,1,5,0,0,4,5,5,0,0,6,0,26,4,30,19,8,29,0,2,0,0,11,8,0,3,16,117,32,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24876970818211794,0.11283357970308845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017925716133455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08656054843885894,0.13347309618221095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08900308243485905,0.13042211582801547,0.0,0.0,0.11899756966863999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12997579550828722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134654360638833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16418111106606956,0.1312288596326372,0.10963340300352092,0.38758546010129935,0.0,0.13298939594751294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10633321278302164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14468198172984306,0.0,0.0,0.1403360263412147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12535353729654158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12631420046372488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10375712070131776,0.14358697815272567,0.0,0.0,0.13016112061809773,0.0899076355848749,0.062186734045681674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282768746568134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2898376136454636,0.13356787396689435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13666021818211144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11587867450416528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13306958292334264,0.0,0.13923296491880152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101052854857823,0.07422295100404153,0.0,0.0,0.12162962153925976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325118229742961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10502634751343112,0.07507805829322997,0.20207138125712146,0.10210316094012034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3706701911119424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08196962402556981
bipolarreddit,bribong,2020/01/31,How do you cope with boredom? I've been taking lithium for a while now and it's completely helped stabilize my mood. The problem is that I sort of miss having manic episodes (type 2). I just kind of feel numb. Like every day I'm just going through the motions and it makes me BORED. Is that bad that I feel that way? What can I do to help it?  Thanks in advance,0.32066666666666777,2.6001661333333352,1.6626666666666698,97.98466666666668,87.66666666666666,4.4,20.333333333333336,5.82211442006289,-0.15606666666666635,280,9,63,2,9,89,58,75,0.19699999999999998,0.705,0.098,-0.7944,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,1,4,9,0,0,3,0,7,1,0,2,0,11,15,4,0,1,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,8,3,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,5,0,0,1,2,7,3,7,14,0,8,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,1,4,39,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541612094445568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3191575134149607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19631275910050128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564700522171912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3078274806377753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17299748333463247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4080656854128366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3169856631806524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14871441983413186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20318930313920894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29126960306202404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2288708487320429,0.0,0.0,0.2802505390346989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2416184793259878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,n0sens,2020/01/31,"Closed Telegram Support Group for People Suffering from Mental Health Conditions (E.g Depression, Anxiety, Bipolar, Borderline Personality, Schizophrenia etc.) www.t.me/huddlehumans

Hey all! It seems most of you guys here know that the mental health scene and stigma is still very strong and discriminating in our modern society and it goes to show how hard someone with a mental health condition like depression, anxiety, bipolar, personality disorder etc. has to go through just to find help or even just someone to talk to about their feelings.

I've had enough of the discrimination and marginalisation towards people with mental health conditions and hence, what I've been working on the past few months is creating a closed non-profit telegram support group for you guys of all backgrounds to come together to support one another, as well as advice each other when one is going through a tough time.

We are about 300 members strong as of today.

The group is a caring, close-knit, non-judgemental and well managed community filled with people being able to freely express themselves in a safe space and share any sorts of problems or issues that is currently affecting them.

Remember you are never alone in the fight against mental health and if you wish to join this closed telegram group please do so with the link below or search huddlehumans in the telegram app.

www.t.me/huddlehumans",11.266153846153848,11.327327538461542,9.26115384615385,63.39634615384618,55.66666666666667,12.415384615384614,42.14957264957265,11.698219412168324,5.235998290598292,1140,53,166,27,12,342,143,234,0.09300000000000001,0.7290000000000001,0.17800000000000002,0.9662,1,1,0,0,1,0,31.0,2,4,2,3,12,17,1,0,12,0,12,7,0,2,3,40,23,18,0,3,6,0,2,1,0,0,7,0,0,4,7,18,0,1,6,1,0,4,1,6,2,2,2,2,8,11,36,20,8,24,0,3,0,0,22,11,0,7,10,108,15,2,0.0910471841479268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08897025460884374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09429742438319093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06191520736156909,0.0954709111293286,0.13930169333212422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928286722155466,0.0,0.0,0.07842908727480058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15683761258772702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043479609916368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940760796712581,0.20308335512229053,0.060135806443261185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04603619196698245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08321547685238982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10348842586889773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.180302053448696,0.0,0.0,0.08156039350704111,0.0,0.0,0.4838944959548634,0.0,0.0,0.06102700834208207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09502960544936886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050037151318130885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0444810552037658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4587707354742879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07267299374607049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07022120129574243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12339185659656272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0869148394728218,0.18936196073572187,0.15899777868873005,0.0,0.0999424672381634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08711985903876206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10313871105178232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0828859369551811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15428796733851666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07271039887097668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3099577968393629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07318027781206457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05309034525871579,0.0,0.08630208470442298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07512346215453372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16372470575246065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10469976845456333,0.0,0.0,0.06628343442642035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,cristorres,2020/01/31,"Does anybody feel like a fraud? I've been diagnosed with type I 5 years ago. I've finished university and have a work 3 years ago. The problem is that everyday I feel like I haven't achieved nothing great in my life. Because I usually put so many energy in my proyects, close people like family and friends expected a lot from me, like starting an enterprise... The problem is that I don't have dedication, and all my dreams are just false starts.
In this moment I feel I'm getting old and everybody else is achieving much more than me.",5.291456043956046,6.2925187499999975,5.748516483516487,80.31076923076924,68.23076923076923,9.78901098901099,34.087912087912095,9.957137785484203,3.354210439560439,426,20,83,10,7,137,70,104,0.086,0.7190000000000001,0.195,0.865,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,3,2,8,0,0,6,0,9,2,0,0,1,15,16,5,0,3,1,0,3,4,1,0,2,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,3,1,0,1,2,2,0,0,1,3,11,6,6,15,4,16,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,1,15,45,14,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3109119662124634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069046527568379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17799807142601135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15346851458087854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14650013031161765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1653243550424632,0.0,0.2660188365737816,0.2505704335478499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13549135025708992,0.0,0.09162421122671363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19334736164094607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12386986139571166,0.34271003021178115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1490943186855936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17779886616815446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12891800681914836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16827339142350145,0.0,0.18402256857906346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12158030534462827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33561309850280435,0.0,0.17629648885940385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2482572689529172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1931465950753921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12767231864643344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258665996642905
bipolarreddit,Buttdays,2020/01/31,"Viagra to treat female sexual side effects of meds? [I just posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/bipolar/comments/ewmzdo/still_no_sex_drive_on_olanzipine_lamotrigine_and) about how I’m on olanzipine and lamotrigine and went into detail about my lack of sensation during sex. But I then did some googling and found that there is some improvement in sensation for most women who take Viagra. Apparently it doesn’t just work for men.

So I’m curious if any women on meds have tried it. Did it work? What meds were you on?",6.731398692810456,10.327330741176473,5.723921568627452,70.84653594771244,71.0,8.954248366013074,24.73856209150327,9.444778638647367,2.7682287581699354,423,13,63,11,9,127,63,85,0.027999999999999997,0.866,0.106,0.7592,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,0,3,7,1,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,2,0,15,11,8,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,6,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,0,4,1,12,6,4,8,0,0,0,1,5,6,0,4,1,43,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16603670178205535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2677080784849952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.813617847073018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18357741335275565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16576814285711053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263381243198524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35550176778641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Super-_-Serious,2020/01/31,"Who here has psychophysiological insomnia? Can’t sleep Ruined my sleep cycle again when I took a long nap after my flight today (I moved states). Now it’s 5am and I can’t sleep. 🙄🙄🙄

Anyone else relate?",-1.3871428571428552,-0.4459620952380909,1.7813333333333323,89.77200000000002,122.33333333333334,3.5847619047619053,8.961904761904762,5.6839178017228535,-1.280855238095238,160,2,34,2,10,56,33,42,0.098,0.902,0.0,-0.5362,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,3,4,3,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,1,0,5,0,1,3,0,9,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,17,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17878742479120574,0.261989063600999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2135998075927972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22628144096467465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2717626134519783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7676369856187918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423683327985789,0.0,0.2840858153050831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,dobby_bd2,2020/01/31,"Ashamed of my excitement for potential cancer diagnosis as a way out of suffering from bipolar disorder I know the title of this makes you all probably say to yourself ""what the fuck who is this bitch excited about cancer."" And I am saying it to myself too. I'm ashamed of my excitement. My grandpa and my cousin died terrible deaths from stomach cancer. I watched them suffer but at the end of their suffering, they finally got to leave this miserable world. I have an EGD Wednesday for a biopsy of my stomach to see if I have it too. I have all the same symptoms they had. My family is freaking out but I'm jumping for joy inside. This could finally be my way out! It would be terrible pain and a shitty couple years fighting it but ive had a shitty life fighting bipolar disorder and anxiety. 

Everyone would be angry with me for killing myself but nobody would blame me from dying from cancer...

Am I a terrible person for thinking this way?",3.8461666666666687,6.101260561111115,5.186388888888889,77.91625000000002,73.94444444444444,8.722222222222221,30.69444444444445,9.354420925462401,3.2087777777777777,751,35,130,19,16,250,97,180,0.377,0.575,0.048,-0.9974,0,0,0,0,4,1,17.0,0,1,4,0,3,20,5,3,10,0,17,12,2,1,2,23,25,10,4,5,5,2,0,0,0,3,9,2,0,1,11,8,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,16,0,0,3,4,24,4,26,15,3,14,0,4,2,1,13,5,2,1,5,101,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169042969589456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12201163724579693,0.1690886847658701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31719905239524643,0.0,0.35028217466797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13535016802829733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14602283039205272,0.0,0.0,0.1440619101590742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.334806277867122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14127650386744636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12222141205693142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16906894971836767,0.0,0.08398401852485607,0.0,0.0,0.16181073689810296,0.0,0.0,0.1079388988949786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10200628130759364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16260765935534333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13343357924101815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16476216422349887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2430518216149063,0.0,0.0,0.12177506188095533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15883498189105288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09791872041568014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3638961626983953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3256696295836107,0.0,0.0,0.09840889377858174
bipolarreddit,doyouhaveanymedicine,2020/01/31,"Therapists Do you think you need to be properly medicated for therapy to be effective? 

How can therapy even help a clinical illness like bipolar?",5.156266666666667,8.636813159999999,7.484000000000003,56.24866666666668,77.4,14.533333333333335,44.33333333333334,11.855464076750405,8.512733333333333,119,9,16,7,3,42,21,25,0.086,0.638,0.276,0.7149,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,2,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,0,4,4,0,2,0,4,6,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,3,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,12,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21230408499139652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21545039356963566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1570363861902701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3238108766682761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23833919266659895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7351754442831478,0.3732095773418406,0.0,0.20596188898122025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Maam_in_the_moon,2020/01/31,"I dyed my fucking hair green. I dyed my fucking hair green. Manic me thought this would be the best fucking idea! I thought I was gonna look so cute. 

No. No, I was wrong. Dead wrong. 

This is the end result of me being a bad person and not taking my meds. I’m just so frustrated with myself right now.",-0.7347619047619071,1.4385644126984118,1.0003174603174614,100.35857142857144,95.34920634920636,3.4349206349206347,16.523809523809526,5.033348758259628,-0.9131714285714287,230,6,53,1,9,74,43,63,0.304,0.5920000000000001,0.10400000000000001,-0.9387,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,4,9,4,0,3,0,6,5,2,1,0,9,15,3,1,1,2,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,7,0,0,4,5,11,2,2,7,1,3,0,0,3,3,1,1,3,0,2,33,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17278132432494953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21716456417765487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18328218543691827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5739217044998272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23360340331552584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17377252075149568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22985712778718834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18068686851464466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17672058507324515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15558868495203593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3285651107538222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14700004270413786,0.4524998920938793,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lovecasualties,2020/01/31,"? my brain has been so foggy this past week. something doesnt feel right, i kinda feel misplaced inside my mind. ive been overly tired and out of it. i just feel off. i feel weird inside, ive also been irritable - anyone else experience this
bipolar 1*",0.91,3.4918457142857164,2.7930612244897968,87.50551020408165,91.85714285714286,4.4326530612244905,17.20408163265306,6.1826913282559595,-0.060518367346938724,196,5,37,2,7,65,36,49,0.161,0.8390000000000001,0.0,-0.7717,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,7,3,1,0,0,9,11,3,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,4,7,0,4,8,0,6,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,2,23,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21083464328040635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843448184734723,0.27013268090842124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2943119862896542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22023930263913974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578927476534939,0.0,0.0,0.5332218515780062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2662035559449158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25167639661932817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2251490743087004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20296471448681486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3030180278845516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21147794159657435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,macestrogarm,2020/01/31,"Worsening of symptoms at night? I’ve been diagnosed with BP1 for a little while now and after learning more about it and with some of the episodes that occurred it’s clear that this has been going on for a while now. Throughout my experience with BPD I’ve noticed that during the day the symptoms feel somewhat more muted and then at night they become far more severe. It also seems to become more sever during winter when my seasonal depression comes into play (or during any poor depressive episode with my major depressive disorder.) I’ve also noticed fluctuations in my symptoms now that I’ve started hormone therapy (I am a man, born a man, but an testosterone deficient.) I was wondering if any of you have experienced worsened symptoms at night, during winter or depressive episodes, or with hormone based treatments and medications for other issues. I feel like a burden talking to anyone I know and so I’m really glad to have found a place I can talk about it without feeling like I’ve burdened those close to me.",11.11247326203209,8.968278288770055,10.24817513368984,63.22167446524064,57.55614973262031,12.772459893048135,43.69585561497326,11.20814326018867,5.068754545454544,828,38,129,16,8,265,109,187,0.14300000000000002,0.782,0.075,-0.8838,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,1,0,9,10,0,0,10,0,8,6,0,0,1,30,19,17,0,1,6,0,3,2,0,0,6,0,0,2,11,13,0,0,8,1,1,2,1,6,0,0,4,4,12,4,25,15,7,29,0,4,0,0,6,10,0,8,19,92,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17635254275825385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14996352462462434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07709757034300165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2435508517611337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13887079807169656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09498072333132296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07110969874932573,0.0,0.3798730906288746,0.11191334223716357,0.0,0.0,0.12636950342680806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078571365217212,0.0,0.0,0.1672549419244055,0.1575420141325031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1208963036160308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06266428621697162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11508460670778906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060596967155601984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10773663049248908,0.11051122744297824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11107710007663353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3104195130000016,0.0,0.0,0.25106743715796176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152000473291576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07063649224484178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10037814437918373,0.0,0.2491287564949129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07804382508363326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4584166535429196,0.0,0.17724841539524938,0.0,0.0,0.12609390586064145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10628837993351302,0.11957415051107145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kuentoko,2020/02/01,"Advice for impulse decisions? I've had depression and anxiety since 2010 and was reassessed by my psychiatrist as bipolar about a year ago. It's been so frustrating to cope. I do take medications and they have really bad side effects (ie dizziness, and the feeling of wanting to throw up and fatigue) but I still do take them.

I get so depressed on my down times that I don't want to do anything, I don't even want to get out of bed and I feel so alone and I start doubting my capabilities. On my manic phases, I feel so confident and sure of myself that I over commit and make impulsive decisions like wanting to move to a different country, starting ANOTHER business idea/project then leaving the old ones behind, as well as buying a lot of things I don't need and can't afford.

Recently... more like yesterday, I was so impulsive that I drove 3 hours away from our city to buy a puppy. Later that night, the manic phase has worn off and... well, regret making such an impulsive decision.

I am so frustrated with myself that I start thinking of suicide. My family has to go through a lot of my crap and honestly, I'm getting tired of myself too. I'm also embarrassed.

I guess I'm posting this because I'm just hoping that I'm not alone. Also, if anyone has any advice, I would really like to hear it.",4.2498204334365335,5.675465243137258,5.655190918472653,78.42204334365327,71.07843137254902,8.976264189886482,30.283797729618165,9.414487439383343,2.8520980392156865,1027,43,191,23,19,346,149,255,0.19699999999999998,0.677,0.126,-0.9658,2,2,0,0,0,1,33.0,1,0,2,1,16,18,3,2,9,0,17,5,1,3,2,42,47,26,1,9,4,0,3,3,0,1,4,1,1,0,10,14,0,0,8,0,2,4,5,10,2,1,6,4,28,8,34,40,3,28,0,4,0,0,4,9,1,6,17,133,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304554768450621,0.10452685981998401,0.0,0.0,0.2442541948096137,0.0,0.18859736421980436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0801880285675443,0.12364691123945018,0.09020666037013972,0.0,0.0,0.08245074512122695,0.0,0.09703615814206977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110787490298195,0.0,0.09845629145237407,0.07188148972807283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2031245552519358,0.0,0.0,0.12319882063769658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07788347920478217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11116224244996643,0.0,0.17886808268435342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848212765757624,0.0,0.06701530370013974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12989955808790765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329017333667575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11711880813217534,0.1161251079280975,0.0,0.0,0.1331146456421665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12485773891386702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1728257859768409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20049869600136785,0.0,0.0,0.1574218606655059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11878960162400062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12532777403877984,0.0,0.08743442480857527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11065770310335854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1237347115577572,0.0,0.0799040344320083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11293248930766955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15108210005649386,0.0,0.1164294289990591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09754267792697656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2503881056807013,0.0,0.09416916764527264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12898274294482887,0.0,0.11113596606457248,0.0,0.1773187579407533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07833923043642213,0.07555685279487945,0.0,0.0,0.06875871540582375,0.1355289635539242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27820348146087337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2120442124246224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0837652975779404,0.0,0.0,0.0759350844186946
bipolarreddit,MoodyRose,2020/02/01,"Was anyone else’s bipolar worsened by antidepressants as a misdiagnosis? How has your experience been since a proper diagnosis? Especially with Lamictal / Lamotrigine? Sorry I’m sure theirs already posts like this I just want to write it it out and here others experiences. The past year has been rough and been through the wringer. I’ve denied I had issues for a long time, and it took me awhile until I came to terms with them. I grew up in the independent fundamental baptist church culture and mental illness/medicine is very taboo subject and stigmatised, much more so than it already is still.  Anyways I spent the past year going through shitty SSRIs and antidepressants my doctor put me on, Zoloft, lexapRo, Prozac, and Wellbutrin. I’m not sure what triggered it, but those drugs severely brought out my hypomania. I do partially blame myself for not being as open as I shouod have , but I was scared for it to be true because my aunt was BP2 and commited suicide. August was the worst, I was the most reckless I’ve ever been, I opened up every credit card possible and maxed them out, driving like a suicidal mad man , like 70 in a 25 or easily over 100 in a 45. It’s a miracle I didn’t hurt anyone or myself. I financed shit I can never pay Back and my casual drug became muddy riskier and even overdosed. At the end of August, I went through with my suicide attempt. I succeeded, I was dead, but a friend I called earlier called the copes 2 hours earlier and Turks out they pinged my phone and found me with less than 2 minutes to live. I used carbon monoxide from charcoal and placed it in my car in a remote location, and was knocked out within 5 minute woke up in the ambulance i couldn’t believe it. Spent the next 10 days at the psych ward involuntarily, and it wasn’t until the day I was discharged where t he doctor went over everything with me and started examining closer the timelines of events, I tried to hide a lot, and yet she still came up with a possibility of BP2 and wrote it out and wanted me to show it to my doctor. Well I had hid that shit, and continued Wellbutrin at this point since it wasnr an SSRI antidepressant. Still was very reckless, I dropped out of college 3 weeks in and pretended to go the entire semesters my parents don’t even know. This week I just tapered off of it, and came clean to my doctor about what’s going on minus my substance use. She determined what I feared all along, BP2 and also BPD. So now I start on Lamictal / Lamotrigine 25mg for 2 weeks, then 50mg for 2 weeks, and 100mg for 2 weeks and we’ll raise it up after that as long as no rash and if it works. I’m curious tho others experiences and how it’s been for you and when it started working? I’m slightly concerned about the memory loss/feeling dumb because I’m already on Clonazepam daily for seizure prevention (ever since suicide attempt) and panic attacks and honestly I already feel dumb, slow, forgetful just from the klonopin . Im only 20 and I can just see my mental health deteriorates and so can others and it saddens me from what I used to be and I’ve learned my family has a lot of drug issues and mental illness especially bipolar, depression, anxiety. Sorry idknifn that makes sense I just wantedntinwritenirnour it’s okay if you ignore it",5.792513712218463,6.702885355661883,6.3333169953709145,76.89378807328745,67.05422647527911,9.179274127669506,32.198584043256695,9.310311815833133,2.8578377017932857,2606,106,479,48,41,848,309,627,0.201,0.715,0.084,-0.9983,1,0,3,0,0,3,60.0,1,3,4,5,29,26,6,3,29,1,34,16,3,8,8,102,66,59,5,5,14,2,2,3,1,1,13,0,1,1,35,55,0,3,5,3,5,14,8,13,1,0,30,3,61,13,80,31,9,92,1,2,1,0,21,36,4,7,43,321,96,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28758031976344384,0.05210074661222745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04983987315116874,0.0,0.0,0.09110934073381506,0.06675427785827885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07411797868886973,0.0,0.05009663155815558,0.0,0.07943015106122013,0.0,0.0,0.0734021839669649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0820546406534037,0.0,0.13305167322469222,0.22354408371340986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08403322885543248,0.0,0.05611393896029434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26673675602157193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266613197750521,0.0,0.0544247943427136,0.0,0.05770391149855435,0.0,0.0,0.08606244169134449,0.11786452276212372,0.05489201693074497,0.0,0.05855297328265804,0.1911887603891874,0.06141799330750693,0.0733123062342551,0.06588399360018808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07143404435838717,0.05033503285815112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11107941105114788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06925182234343298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06416001462701301,0.0,0.06974484434135257,0.0,0.0703736054764228,0.13600016964359274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03580495275955667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09548757503041397,0.0,0.05752899158831558,0.11531209720519045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11077707050321918,0.0,0.0,0.043488393953374456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969688211067913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04789303595348608,0.0,0.05024800031336589,0.0,0.06928818322535746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049549810491447945,0.0,0.07643995002310179,0.0723418026029592,0.0,0.12438684615130012,0.0,0.0,0.0680682952651346,0.0,0.06158818087946043,0.1468945606103039,0.06239606830188265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0654941407158234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0652269100580303,0.0,0.05191642903642742,0.0,0.0,0.07360140099456136,0.13375188658551315,0.16167923770011605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14586106447546135,0.13834135278350795,0.0,0.15608756662535106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2850558271720715,0.0,0.12280695080525145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03798971871702226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07238448502320953,0.04423284100007464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16880706737690118,0.0,0.10751179644404664,0.0768547808406244,0.0,0.2612985816222005,0.0,0.05857802853092304,0.12079013606281365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948605256638261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08390943550336354
bipolarreddit,Skyelixir,2020/02/01,Lithium nausea is KILLING me I'm on 600mg at 0.6 blood levels and the nausea is insane. I can barely eat. I feel like I'm gonna puke constantly. Any advice??,-0.9908823529411775,1.1193510882352946,1.985529411764705,92.9388823529412,96.94117647058823,3.896470588235295,15.623529411764707,5.6839178017228535,-0.5250988235294116,123,3,26,1,5,43,28,34,0.306,0.634,0.059000000000000004,-0.8849,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,3,2,1,0,0,2,7,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,1,2,6,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,10,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40364178350116137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28089797916329434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4463759084677783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4226680368189084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20885778862666704,0.295093313616802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.456994594755521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20180241737418786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,LIKES_ROCKY_IV,2020/02/01,"Mental illness isn’t pretty I have schizoaffective bipolar II, general anxiety disorder and borderline personality disorder. I suspect I also have some symptoms of PTSD stemming from years of emotional, verbal and physical abuse from my parents (mainly my father and stepmother).

I bet you’ve seen those post on Facebook or Instagram, right? Those inspirational diatribes supporting the mentally ill posted on some mental health awareness day or week or month? The ones that all your friends share with a caption about how if you need somebody to talk to they’re always there for you?

Yeah, well, I call bullshit. If I messaged one of those people and said “I feel sad”, I’m sure they would say “I’m sorry, it’s going to be okay” and move on with their lives. And that doesn’t make them a bad person. That doesn’t mean they don’t really care about me. That just means they don’t understand what it’s like living with a disease that destroys your goals, ambitions, relationships and finances. I don’t think they’d be so sympathetic if I told them I once spent $15,000 in the space of a month, or if I told them there was a period where I was binging Valium so hard that I was talking to God through colourful flashing lights that I was seeing. I don’t think they’d be so sympathetic if they knew that every day, I stay in bed because if I get up, I’ll try to kill myself. I don’t think they’d be so sympathetic if they knew the true extent of how deeply fucked up I am. How I binge eat because food is the only real comfort I have because nobody in my life has the time to talk me down every time I feel like I’m going to fold in on myself like a dying star. How I feel like I’ll never finish my degree because I can’t stay organised long enough to complete a single unit, let alone 32. Most of them don’t know that I’ve lost every job I’ve held for the last five years because more often than not I can’t muster up the will to leave the house. They think my partner of nine years and I broke up because we just weren’t compatible anymore, but what they don’t know is I almost destroyed his mental health because I couldn’t fix my own. They wonder why I don’t want to date anybody - they don’t realise that I don’t want to ruin somebody else’s life with my bullshit. They don’t realise that I feel like nothing, like I’ll never amount to anything, like I’ve lost everything and it’s all my fault.

I got into a fight with my sister today. We were talking about Chester Bennington and how in one of the last interviews he gave, he talked about how he never knew how long it would be until he slid back into depression. Every time we discuss my mental illness, we fight, but this was different. It got ugly. I said I understood exactly where he was coming from because that’s how I feel. She disagreed and I told her I don’t think she understands the nature of bipolar. She lost it. She accused me of minimising her own depression and told me I wasn’t ‘special’ just because I had to deal with a more ‘serious’ illness. She told me she hated me and that it was no wonder my parents kicked me out of the house after I had to move back in because I had nowhere to go after my ex and I broke up while I was in the hospital. She implied that the reason I’m so depressed is because I’m not trying hard enough to fix myself, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m trying so fucking hard. It just isn’t good enough. She told me how exhausted she was taking care of me and that I’m selfish because I don’t reciprocate.

She’s a good person. I know she is. But she doesn’t understand and I don’t know if she ever will. She let her anger and resentment build up until she exploded. And that is the reality of mental illness. It’s ugly. It’s messy. It doesn’t just destroy your life, it destroys the lives of everyone around you who’s unlucky enough to be in the blast zone.

I can’t do this anymore. There’s a wound inside of me that refuses to heal. I’ve come to the realisation that I may never become the person I want to be. I don’t know if I’ll ever get better. I hate the fact that I’m losing my best friend in the world because she thinks I don’t want to help myself or that I’m weak because I can’t just pull myself up by my bootstraps.

Mental illness isn’t pretty. It’s ugly and destructive and complicated, and I wish I wasn’t afflicted with it.",3.7905743243243255,4.890930771396398,4.969898648648648,84.14376689189191,71.80405405405406,7.802252252252253,27.050675675675677,8.17850203761792,1.6692918918918922,3447,117,699,50,64,1140,326,888,0.195,0.703,0.102,-0.9985,5,1,0,0,3,1,74.0,4,6,18,7,38,56,14,0,33,2,74,22,0,11,13,138,150,58,2,19,26,5,8,7,3,5,18,3,1,5,43,38,2,2,30,0,3,9,39,31,1,5,37,15,132,25,85,93,18,76,0,11,3,2,92,31,2,23,39,465,175,4,0.0,0.05388535830193501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04554080126788208,0.0471026856668214,0.0,0.03636966141507112,0.037842297714411575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034791426790277316,0.0,0.0902061963223672,0.0,0.0,0.03742546701271216,0.04048608741106292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06994132123926543,0.0379731922460281,0.3881313650304935,0.05022815025722125,0.0,0.0,0.04772756417258353,0.040222614110885714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04643929905560193,0.0,0.09273805296036716,0.0,0.0,0.07835252487976012,0.047684025584220184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058660581274088575,0.04688700871861241,0.11751338090265925,0.0,0.04720017953330708,0.04751603408525885,0.10424609661849786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04653652636829775,0.03799199573014998,0.05115792466200799,0.0,0.18796848539638414,0.0,0.0,0.0822769934107114,0.1532725882045623,0.043457278692487215,0.04087372929577551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11497812870829364,0.0974709458060136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05499357111049556,0.0,0.070274160022797,0.08408948634654058,0.04752195966378082,0.0,0.07754055042980199,0.07629150989057149,0.0727476648916738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222211615010736,0.08980249402400102,0.0,0.096684423728247,0.0,0.0,0.030483716919377294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10495367049677833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045131040801594184,0.0,0.05031594337974896,0.0,0.12497076275506555,0.07414315778647358,0.0,0.048155855286039516,0.0,0.09301102843276253,0.09636981008610647,0.15553171495058268,0.0,0.1204767732710266,0.08049523673102782,0.0,0.05087953796003045,0.14893760034240122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03035768710458859,0.0,0.0,0.09908025837430014,0.0,0.0,0.32082601876501915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07260205044366455,0.09667428230614307,0.0,0.033722214936187885,0.14030530286125387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043638472913716905,0.0,0.0,0.0484338125901755,0.09245355119396187,0.03458894445731351,0.0,0.0,0.10099843237977936,0.0,0.0,0.031529517630450525,0.15884256521926984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08711291201491303,0.09253729524778644,0.0,0.0,0.05316269492461949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051765231617868494,0.02913510932490315,0.04676014278757325,0.0,0.04882758913953512,0.0,0.038838947305417135,0.08652217632660869,0.03616684706178154,0.0,0.0,0.036240995930206056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05091018721955688,0.0,0.09694944965479528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05160920272568089,0.04286356252672265,0.047270252573677785,0.03419466234602312,0.18277209824867646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17484722536432395,0.0,0.0,0.0795577777766985,0.0,0.04310891834865906,0.2607436721549233,0.0,0.09263207661338037,0.0,0.0,0.14203620338943698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10729912867110457,0.0,0.03648063246605157,0.0,0.040891219465404964,0.0,0.041037860841208335,0.0,0.05229878032366887,0.0,0.09864040064438208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06461416942586218,0.0,0.0,0.08786124836656947
bipolarreddit,cuteslime,2020/02/01,"What the Hell am I supposed to do? I just turned 23, I'm diagnosed with bipolar/schizoaffective disorder, mental health professionals haven't been very helpful, I can't find any sort of work, I have a criminal record because I was framed for something stupid by assholes on the Internet and now I'm on pretrial diversion and expecting to go to prison this month because of assholes, I have spent the majority of my time since I was 14 isolating myself, I can't maintain relationships with anyone because no one's able to understand me and just thinks I'm a bad person after I have an episode even if I'm friendly and very accommodating the majority of the time and hold myself fully accountable for my actions and am completely honest about what I do with mental health professionals and agree to allow the people to come in and talk with them alongside me, my family is terribly toxic like literally threatening to kill me, my grandma and sister are drug dealers, my uncle is a convicted child rapist and an alcoholic and they kicked me out months ago, but have been letting me stay, but not for much longer, I can't find a landlord that will waive a background check and let me move in without proof of income, but I do have like $8,000 in my savings/brokerage accounts, my cognition is declining, I'm unable to drive and my eyesight is getting worse, my diet is terrible and I'm underweight, I only have 1 friend who's very busy and we're growing apart, the majority of women I've dated have essentially told me my penis is too small and that was a major contributing factor in their decision to leave me along with the other issues I mentioned above, I'm terribly lonely and my ability to socialize is getting progressively worse, I'm terribly lonely and it takes a considerable amount of time to find people even willing to go on a date with me and even if things are going well, we're talking regularly people eventually lose interest in me so now I get afraid when frequency of contact simmers down and actively push people away

I don't know what to do. I'm drowning and all anyone does is yell ""SWIM!"" or sit on the sidelines laughing at me. For the longest time like I'm not even religious I would pray to die in my sleep because at this rate it's obvious that my life will never be anything like a normal person's and I'm going to end up very physically unwell, homeless with no support network because it's impossible for people to truly care about me",18.085,8.275578757961785,16.302638004246287,48.08924363057325,54.41401273885352,19.776433121019107,57.93365180467092,14.554592549557764,7.69456390658174,1989,88,344,48,12,662,241,471,0.147,0.74,0.113,-0.9434,1,4,3,0,0,1,32.0,0,0,3,3,15,25,4,1,21,0,40,9,1,1,4,61,68,30,3,5,11,1,0,4,2,4,6,1,1,4,14,32,2,1,8,1,4,11,11,13,1,1,7,1,47,12,58,54,7,46,2,3,0,1,19,18,1,4,19,228,61,3,0.08663947712022918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07680066894016659,0.09259125229402183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05891781543602038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12116067374129168,0.0,0.07129690750807338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0814006407516404,0.0,0.07234034446201439,0.2640731054696938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08833472114253453,0.0,0.0,0.07463223795549166,0.09083984337552772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08793724553036661,0.08991809864143045,0.0,0.09929634687206684,0.0,0.0758187902810458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10047428724595098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07673686076929159,0.0,0.0,0.2288982300861677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08167598831295028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23756073744425935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13387489020914733,0.0,0.13579665264832086,0.0,0.19695684581984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18418742546840586,0.0,0.0,0.058072615231892936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09042910447068976,0.0,0.0,0.0958537447270574,0.0,0.04761479080720546,0.0,0.0,0.0917386965173936,0.0,0.17718947071920285,0.061196024923758724,0.16931068876765795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09692741337757102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1746244302293905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383096080970804,0.09208405284093428,0.06368998454937341,0.0,0.06682170590946299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0848882922750494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058709151943958975,0.06589322647429686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3003245225382018,0.15130049916193009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09301837450795684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07166907078150632,0.0,0.08670204711444739,0.08831803615744406,0.0,0.06669930230903166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09234615486092287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09831745191178114,0.0,0.0,0.06514210437844671,0.13927505972835202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05755941881480697,0.05551507858988626,0.0,0.0,0.20208070338009734,0.0,0.0,0.08278773324160306,0.0,0.0,0.09423887195466084,0.0,0.09019475118742787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2859465689770411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07789929491399637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08351736420694998,0.0,0.06307457121471917,0.0,0.17658605800623922,0.06154619873817351,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,off-it-cunt,2020/02/01,"need advice so I’ve had medically diagnosed severe depression for about 2 years now, and upon conversing with my therapist the other day, i described what’s been happening the past few months and she suggested I may have BPD but without the hyper mania (happy episodes). does anyone know if this is possible? i do certainly have times where I feel pretty good and confident about myself and have the idea that I’m starting to get my life together, but it’s nothing like what’s been described to me on google and medical websites wherein you feel “on top of the world”. However, when I do dip down into a depressive episode, it’s extremely bad, I lie in bed and cry for days, I disassociate from all my friends, treat my family like the scum of the earth and get suicidal thoughts. I feel unable to move and I get nothing done, I just lie there for days and only leave my room to go to the bathroom or occasionally have food, I don’t have proper meals I just snack on whatever’s in the fridge. I am constantly tired, even when I have a full 10+ hours of sleep, without overdoing it, which I have been told is a symptom of depression. I am on an antidepressant which my doctor is always so cautious about increasing my dosage, and I’m about to start seeing a psychiatrist. Does anyone know if this sounds similar to bipolar disorder? Or am I just depressed and I just manage to dip down to the extreme?",5.944287581699348,6.5961228666666685,6.643376906318085,75.72107843137256,66.62962962962963,10.501089324618738,32.91938997821351,10.46071229359064,3.4777886710239665,1114,46,208,28,17,367,154,270,0.17,0.742,0.087,-0.9752,1,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,0,1,16,12,0,0,15,0,22,12,1,0,2,36,40,21,1,3,12,0,3,2,1,1,8,1,2,0,11,13,3,0,7,0,0,3,3,5,0,0,7,5,29,7,34,32,4,32,0,4,1,0,6,15,0,5,16,143,40,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11049088941974904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09408346307707663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15812262370991853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944088928626904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14240795689212146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12218871573292266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12420230376440193,0.21876277204537,0.0,0.3895487853884472,0.1147638714421087,0.0,0.0,0.12958824350669199,0.11573213943350764,0.19789698547483867,0.1157100702741162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07468179976669795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10659252022418356,0.0,0.1715150693327763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13672493293345858,0.0,0.08735775493436104,0.0,0.17722353586136494,0.0,0.06426039955250208,0.09483791798337976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999876031775991,0.12036532891222848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111351369336873,0.0,0.0,0.1276424912364832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12428084818858767,0.0,0.0,0.11972501424044656,0.0,0.0,0.07986482513479573,0.11048077525237317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278126589471805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09025155374795374,0.12017572688760185,0.0,0.08384011953422707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21698781010087154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08599498115267419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10793829869710428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12746965978097632,0.0,0.11503304141838665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09010230901432577,0.0,0.0,0.12773714023447444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11315185651765786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16006333703747158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12368044520247524,0.0,0.0,0.11752323012262557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13128321542746954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0897651076028256,0.06593214207407673,0.1299575599609422,0.0,0.10804342025293492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21799127300889476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07281350072861215
bipolarreddit,for_the_birbs,2020/02/01,"Has anyone had paranoia/psychosis? What was it like? I don't think I've had full blown psychosis, but trying to understand some experiences I've had and curious to hear from others.",4.6004901960784315,7.010262382352941,5.141764705882356,78.38460784313726,72.23529411764707,8.062745098039215,28.98039215686275,8.841846274778883,2.6116980392156868,147,6,25,3,3,47,27,34,0.0,0.8420000000000001,0.158,0.6199,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,0,5,9,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,1,1,1,3,5,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,17,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3155542284877509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4414506884016117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5086394777339021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2204787334002755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2891700293987101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3063980027334228,0.0,0.0,0.4698114370899838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,nativeindigo,2020/02/01,Words seem unfathomable I don’t know how to describe what I’m feeling. I disassociate. I feel empty. I feel like less than half a person. I feel disconnected. I don’t care. This is my reality. I want to cry. I want to fall apart. I want to just be. I’m numb.,-2.059636363636365,-0.657702781818184,1.5927272727272737,92.54909090909094,113.1818181818182,4.90909090909091,15.909090909090908,6.574015621080383,-0.01118181818181796,197,6,47,4,11,71,35,55,0.145,0.635,0.22,0.2023,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,1,0,12,16,1,0,3,1,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,6,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,0,4,10,2,5,15,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,26,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29298370088434816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3156525756011319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5811934427238279,0.2052907626685383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579260957310226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14039007412041504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2509125495431411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2616026706059971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5084789061696345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,may0326,2020/02/01,"bipolar II TO bipolar I??? experience?? if you started with bipolar II and eventually was diagnosed with bipolar I because your disorder/episodes changed, can you tell me a bit about your experience? 

i was diagnosed bipolar II about two years ago. my worst episodes are mixed, but they always include delusions. I see shadows (but i know that’s common for people who don’t have mental illness?), i hallucinated my grandfather who had died a week before, but my diagnosis has stayed BPII. I’m just wanting to know what to look out for in the situation that my episodes ARE getting worse.",5.396476190476194,7.870479314285718,5.8171428571428585,74.13619047619048,70.14285714285714,8.476190476190476,37.38095238095238,9.150863307647796,3.855666666666667,468,27,77,10,9,150,71,105,0.121,0.879,0.0,-0.9268,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,4,1,0,3,1,0,0,3,0,9,8,0,0,0,12,17,5,1,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,8,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,3,2,16,0,11,14,2,8,0,0,2,0,8,2,0,1,5,52,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17626559116732987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654563736713507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12121509536140054,0.0,0.16920388571622386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21708908242816752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21035342974776747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4036504052096889,0.2063714682748653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3890204330551405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10388918737261242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2185618788419529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16698113708101442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20039069223877326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13785525630898862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15845506554868855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22351200863366347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407447092070739,0.21194411198777066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.173800769812803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942443205978636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11728492850776058,0.0,0.15950281884631834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20264176299445816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12805074761122154
bipolarreddit,OMG_pills_nomnom,2020/02/01,"Bipolar disorder and substance use disorder - does anyone else feel like this? When I turned 17, it started to become clear that there was something wrong with me. Shortly thereafter I was diagnosed bipolar disorder (now with psychotic features). Although I had been a militant straight-edge for my whole life, at 17 I started drinking. A lot. And then I discovered oxycodone and I didn't know it at the time, but that discovery meant I was *doomed*.

I'm now 31 years old, a recovered heroin addict. I'm very, very far from sober. I was always an opiates-only druggie. A full-on junkie. But I don't have access to that anymore, so I've turned into one of those pathetic ""anything I can get my hands on"" kind of person. What I can get my hands on is amphetamines, cocaine, and crack. So that is what I do. To stunning excess. I took 300mg of adderall today.

I've been giving my substance use a lot of thought lately. I've finally admitted to myself and my family that I need counseling. I'm currently looking for a therapist.
But it bugs me, why can't I cope with *anything* without drugs? Here's the best way I can describe it:

*I have a deep ache inside of me that will not remit until I am getting high, and then only for a little while*

It's very much like that song by The La's, There She Goes. (which they deny is about heroin, but it's clearly about heroin)

*she calls my name*
*she pulls my train*
*no one else can heal my pain*

Does anyone else feel like this? How can I begin to deal with it. I know it's destructive and I'm trying to better myself.",0.7555303030303051,3.2830719772727264,2.5180519480519514,90.07088744588751,90.5909090909091,5.270995670995672,21.943722943722943,6.868970318607317,0.8607437229437229,1211,45,237,18,42,398,166,308,0.11,0.7879999999999999,0.102,-0.5329999999999999,1,0,5,0,0,0,58.0,0,0,1,2,11,10,1,0,12,0,23,11,2,3,2,34,48,20,0,1,6,0,4,3,0,1,8,1,0,1,21,12,1,0,7,2,0,2,6,4,0,2,11,6,37,6,29,36,5,30,1,1,1,0,10,10,0,2,20,155,58,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11185890321095876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0853788678047792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10176050842766728,0.1434931298778194,0.2102699939538231,0.16887684911339754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11332352578730198,0.0,0.0,0.10768176453998088,0.09074927951925386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10477521224893456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1057853238553061,0.0,0.10414592626754456,0.0,0.0,0.3527962454681525,0.0,0.1795875705380717,0.0,0.0,0.1005177092168726,0.118993808006955,0.0,0.25714983843453826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09673058787964847,0.0,0.10376433825991248,0.14660771146584228,0.0,0.1124030913102665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608268270036684,0.0984318564825198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10841199129485728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106851433503184,0.1127823930063711,0.0,0.11574736706401413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07247573722758639,0.15038865274624708,0.10284112613330852,0.0,0.0,0.0861656768632554,0.0,0.0,0.17446892313318108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07542938597695288,0.07608323767361137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10767083432567262,0.0,0.13906096268330848,0.07803873164929832,0.10918315928067147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08959417897914325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07899338418525194,0.0,0.0,0.14525428854716366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191369017293252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08146004627003113,0.0598321050067732,0.0,0.09726128864251003,0.0,0.11400232102348515,0.06966474290525655,0.2232181495095271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17724237894316724,0.0,0.2539893941656657,0.0,0.08144620995722374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09258861927979872,0.11455923040899026,0.0,0.09891136801360324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11218678106930652,0.0,0.06607680085094651
bipolarreddit,drpepperisawoman,2020/02/02,"DAE have painful sex as a side effect of your medication? I (23F) have been taking lamotrigine (300mg) for a little over a year now. I’ve been experiencing pain during sex for the last couple of months, and I thought maybe it was due to my partner’s...um...girth, but the more I think about it, the more I think it might be due to my meds. I lost my virginity at 17 and have had partners of varying sizes, but I’ve never had pain like I do now. It’s almost like the opening of my vagina is swelled shut. Once it’s in, the pain goes away a little, but every time it’s inserted the pain is almost unbearable. It makes me so sore it hurts to sit. 

Mentally, this medication works wonders for me, but I’m worried that this pain coupled with my lowered libido is going to ruin my relationship. I feel like my boyfriend always wants to have sex and I almost never do. (He knows about the pain but not the lowered sex drive. He’s very insecure and I don’t want him to think it’s because I don’t like him.) I really don’t want to have to stop taking my meds because of this. What should I do?",2.1482636278195493,3.765251227678569,3.863251879699249,88.3633270676692,76.90178571428572,6.6800751879699245,22.95018796992481,7.475848149327749,0.8078964285714294,841,25,184,11,19,282,113,224,0.27899999999999997,0.7090000000000001,0.012,-0.9966,2,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,1,0,3,5,15,0,1,12,0,22,16,1,2,2,32,38,11,0,4,6,0,1,4,1,2,10,0,0,1,14,6,0,1,8,0,0,2,6,11,0,0,7,2,25,4,24,28,2,23,0,3,0,6,7,9,0,5,15,114,39,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2761993915434826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07650296958871726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08638237776965974,0.0,0.0,0.11209377491309536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2034637768473862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07746495893754916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04648855283746865,0.06568326320154681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052252661965646686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0984256328169742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05052882641895489,0.07494486444978611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17967253995201973,0.1842997394398696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10036537065482308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061371886846650674,0.0,0.09236792813632574,0.0,0.2042532972544957,0.18524344607811716,0.09265574177671823,0.09753575437886704,0.0,0.0,0.07338709318190975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418224178528475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09791505049760013,0.0,0.0,0.684828141924272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05890029192910695,0.0,0.0,0.09871111937290357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07686748849311001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13825763082869075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1767378406256807,0.0,0.07299154466115856,0.05361202165655663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07586164038522958,0.16268902405657634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09970699490377642,0.06693474876878504,0.09337139342966597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05920752542160935
bipolarreddit,WhichProgress3,2020/02/02,"Apparently Anxiety Can Be ""Cured"" I honestly feel ridiculous for being so upset by this. But this person is completely ignorant of mental illness. Anxiety and depression are not the only diagnoses in mental health.  I'd say good many of people with other disorders also have anxiety. 

[https://www.reddit.com/r/Anxiety/comments/exm4xv/this\_is\_one\_example\_of\_what\_your\_partial\_or\_full/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Anxiety/comments/exm4xv/this_is_one_example_of_what_your_partial_or_full/)",24.65884353741497,33.01493491836735,13.843979591836732,10.353996598639467,36.55102040816328,12.246258503401362,34.697278911564624,10.864195022040775,6.473527891156462,437,13,27,11,6,109,43,49,0.315,0.59,0.094,-0.897,1,0,0,0,0,0,41.0,0,0,0,0,2,6,1,1,1,0,6,3,0,0,0,6,7,4,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,3,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,2,1,2,6,5,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,22,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18006275296637836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5167471879369401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360790995886459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19393254388808728,0.22853568405323135,0.0,0.0,0.25805628115288703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11384916757877082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18885602400969076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393377175936785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2282799199906963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4538226478915408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17124659177069348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15609965898358044,0.19660362833190334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1790586382902026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Liquid_Entropy,2020/02/02,"Things are finally going well Things in my life are starting to look up.  I got started on welbutrin and its made me feel so much better.  Gives me energy and a positive outlook on life.  I am smoking more cannabis that usual but I think that's just because I'm in a good mood. This semester is going well so far and I am ahead in some of my work and I got my old job back i quit my last manic episode. So I'm excited about that. Everything is really coming together.  Plus I'm not sleeping 12 hours a day anymore!  Got it down to like 6 or 7. 

I'm writing this to let you all know that the right meds are out there to help you feel better.  I suggest asking about welbutrin. It really helped me so far.",0.41370668815471134,2.662587671232877,2.5498227236099917,92.07821514907336,86.67123287671234,5.901047542304593,21.601933924254627,7.285733465282438,0.7987611603545521,544,19,118,9,17,183,92,146,0.0,0.8059999999999999,0.19399999999999998,0.9796,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,2,0,5,11,8,0,0,4,0,8,3,1,1,1,19,28,11,0,0,4,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,11,7,0,0,4,0,0,3,1,0,2,0,4,3,16,7,17,23,4,24,0,0,1,0,8,11,0,2,11,76,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14792996840245382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13944760289023014,0.0,0.0,0.1146974139556414,0.0,0.0909285977266943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2638457346421576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12849102392361272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096198025059547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13405840684394907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1508429499544144,0.0,0.0,0.16340116615754827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14309108360640896,0.16954594610474347,0.1251111465464745,0.3578986879233663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19996210746133333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14689585962544616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14802161518685533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08197627985342043,0.12158804423384828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525296382963288,0.2107169801660782,0.07287368152467312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12525965183062926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14114197467677092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1656868627611472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10965223009001153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15652185082176787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586535906726661,0.0,0.0,0.1911157316259118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12738469156026935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492710806374648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21115718314611606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1981950123048239,0.09557785598588546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642823637043964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26823154284603234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10859270016471133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,snarkysammie,2020/02/02,"Violated on Reddit Has anyone else had someone creep this group and then advertise your medical business across other parts of Reddit?

I guess be won’t be posting anymore, and might have to leave the group. I feel so incredibly violated.",7.213571428571428,9.10513416666667,7.570000000000004,65.72500000000002,64.47619047619048,10.361904761904762,35.42857142857143,10.504223727775694,4.290800000000001,193,9,29,5,3,63,36,42,0.192,0.8079999999999999,0.0,-0.8211,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,1,2,2,0,1,0,7,1,0,0,0,5,9,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,3,0,4,4,1,4,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,2,1,22,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3023546551303923,0.2131760958556328,0.3123810625974249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2546844282327099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15415425489795972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3358548258822584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32281922109843525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3071300746308351,0.0,0.3234248137332073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33015054572399893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2919865324500143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25832009152546725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Dotoreispunk,2020/02/02,"Zyprexa (Olanzapine) My psychiatrist recently prescribed 5mg in the morning and 5mg at night after my most recent episode. 

Curious to hear your experience with this medication and if you would recommend it.

Currently taking 400mg of Lithium at night as well.",5.259333333333334,8.612351822222228,6.53777777777778,64.22000000000003,75.22222222222223,10.711111111111112,37.888888888888886,10.355215969177356,5.564022222222222,212,13,31,8,5,71,38,45,0.0,0.845,0.155,0.7322,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,3,4,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,1,8,2,1,9,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,2,6,21,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2762036433828243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3182418345005072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2844494182486125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5299541179051889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5575956631394102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21230064269625065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2538768210456842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20058144685833326,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,LiveLongAndPerish,2020/02/02,"mixed bipolar episode or depression with mixed features? Hey, there. Here’s a little background: Almost constant depressive episodes since I was 17. Not a lot of success with anti depressants. Took prozac and had a hypomanic episode. My therapist wanted to keep an eye on me to see if it’d happen without being medication induced. A year later I felt like I did after taking the prozac (this time i impulsively buzzed almost half my head :/). Except this time, after about twenty four hours I started randomly crying. I became agitated and felt this crazy desperation? Like I NEEDED to do something. So I took off the guard on the clippers and went over more of my hair (WHY!!!) and cut while in the shower which ended up with me covered in blood (half because i cut so much, half from the hot water).  The rest of the week I was completely depressed, not sleeping, agitated and felt like I was buzzing out of my skin. 

Now, after that I was stamped with bipolar nos. But I was reading about how there’s now a new addition to unipolar depression called ‘depression with mixed features’ and thought maybe it’s that? I don’t know but I feel kind of like an imposter when they call it bipolar even when it’s followed with ‘not otherwise specified’.  The medication i’m on has finally started working for me so maybe this doesn’t really matter at the end of the day. 

But. This has been such a huge part of my life for the last ten years. Trying to figure out medication. Coping skills. Feeling suicidal. A hospital stay. An eating disorder because I was trying to control SOMETHING when I couldn’t control the depression. 

I’ll bring it up with my psychiatrist when I see him in march but I wanted to ask you for your thoughts/experiences.

also! has anyone experienced hallucinations when not having an episode? I had a few, and very short ones a few years ago. my doctor has no idea what caused it.",3.642832792207791,6.280053948863639,4.490240259740261,80.78268181818184,76.27272727272728,7.318311688311688,28.238961038961037,8.329178653251315,2.3064122402597405,1498,64,264,29,35,482,192,352,0.134,0.8240000000000001,0.042,-0.9836,2,0,2,0,0,0,48.0,0,2,1,5,19,15,2,0,25,0,21,18,6,5,0,54,45,24,1,5,12,0,8,4,0,0,10,0,1,0,15,17,2,4,10,1,0,5,9,9,0,6,17,12,34,6,45,25,7,52,0,7,3,0,8,16,0,6,34,188,49,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07501362773749858,0.0,0.16947642480360053,0.0,0.0,0.0676733831678404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059170719486405426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07911155009244186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10317140151277356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17282011197021385,0.0,0.0,0.08693164613260429,0.0,0.0,0.08872613075822686,0.09144794152038073,0.18982490408459896,0.0,0.0,0.09295494222371363,0.0545751574107949,0.0,0.5102026818168316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09698586357050808,0.08661573906773075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08659096779265311,0.0,0.0,0.14990260858213333,0.0,0.0,0.05589302430045618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08277802194466961,0.0,0.0,0.08557636950420767,0.0,0.2437554950616049,0.09270090897017468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07483228245179467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08684812589606665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08333710236868459,0.0,0.0,0.09552963220943762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07521725589465526,0.0,0.08812235406560055,0.04650686304820136,0.06897944785483323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059772081363274186,0.16537107234171738,0.08481497938307442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07194387437641672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17003136183154036,0.0,0.0,0.2557478232098842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062208010132253536,0.06274725372338062,0.0,0.08172990457827124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057343074344045265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09163900507188233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08464640131089192,0.0,0.05421198164259114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348679480943792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0700014344938164,0.0,0.08468461507007431,0.0,0.0,0.1302946107841474,0.0,0.0,0.11979389911056867,0.09019739253994626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09256437513274514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06362634121961956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09825440700481956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06718160724904061,0.0986892879025333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18803964660394487,0.11490760467903538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06982325080647987,0.09982626680607594,0.0,0.06787986808305124,0.0,0.0,0.07844683322403634,0.07635954729962871,0.0,0.0,0.0815740351574032,0.0,0.06160691658153965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634842804407235
bipolarreddit,lhiannanshee,2020/02/02,"Anyone do night shifts? Hello,

I wondered if anyone has any experience of doing / coping with night shifts?

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2013 although have been pretty well since 2016 on lithium and lamotrogine and have even been able to come off the anti psychotics. I've started training as a nurse and my next placement will probably involve night shifts. I'm pretty terrified of getting unwell again as sleep seems to be such a massive part of recovery.

Anyone have any tips to share? Thank you!",6.446153846153848,8.608729000000004,5.818461538461541,76.50153846153849,66.69230769230771,7.837362637362638,32.78021978021978,8.418075326091056,2.876072527472528,413,18,63,6,7,126,68,91,0.09,0.77,0.14,0.6164,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,0,4,3,0,0,3,0,11,3,1,0,0,9,18,7,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,4,3,13,13,1,10,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,3,6,41,4,0,0.17308001905582848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2354006962494285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3630647209041751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14909311086434976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17567257603588662,0.0,0.0,0.19836469678761173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11431772022983824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1693054700883831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09042716634232506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184072563815879,0.4872716193655678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874287941127328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3521692055396474,0.186609534323264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15756554891752364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14317358032254734,0.0,0.17320501537565372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12250692832568455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15934882751267931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15561972320585524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18769789756674105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Tireddog987,2020/02/02,"Hospital cost thousands. Medication didn't help not that I can afford it. More suicidal then ever. Waited 13 hours in a ER to see a psychologist in training and was given probably a benadryl for all I know or care. 

Seriously talk me out of suck starting a shotgun today. I cant sleep anyway.",2.7495238095238115,5.388513,5.3285714285714265,73.48309523809526,79.71428571428572,8.019047619047619,28.97619047619048,8.841846274778883,3.0291047619047617,232,11,39,6,6,82,50,56,0.205,0.7390000000000001,0.055999999999999994,-0.8152,1,0,0,1,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,4,0,4,2,1,0,2,8,11,3,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,1,0,3,2,1,1,3,1,4,1,6,8,2,8,0,0,1,0,2,3,1,1,5,29,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3126475748727728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2773802299760962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2055393630492648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30198602930634555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16852545274837608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3089151067960801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33061788194083114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443583648105112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3068689685802872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2170466868855246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3354226065827869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2464716540739875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.290665985468912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ajthrowaway21,2020/02/02,"Does anyone have experience with Ritalin or adderall? I’m currently on 120mg of Latuda, 150mg of Lamictal, and .5mg of Xanax (Xanax as needed) but I’m still so lethargic and have problems getting out of bed on my days off and sometimes calling out of work because I can’t summon the energy to get up. I’ve taken Ritalin before and it was the only thing that gives me energy to do things and makes me legitimately happy, but it wasn’t prescribed to me. When I brought up the possibility of adding it to my medications as another as needed medication, my psychiatrist refused because she said it would increase my likelihood for psychosis.  Does anyone here have experience with Ritalin or adderall as part of their care?",8.483301587301586,7.9701772666666715,9.325502645502649,62.55333333333337,61.51851851851853,12.455026455026456,40.02645502645503,11.765960540728905,5.007645502645502,581,28,96,16,7,199,82,135,0.07,0.8059999999999999,0.124,0.8321,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,1,4,3,0,0,3,0,8,7,0,1,0,19,20,15,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,1,7,1,1,0,7,9,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,5,1,11,2,25,14,2,13,0,0,0,0,6,7,0,2,4,68,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18046290141104535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24067403769212625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20982234111704226,0.0,0.1464452728483517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1757343602684807,0.0,0.1754684366577307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11099090568568397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30121348497673506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3366955978652296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17983133574475568,0.16509495860429926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18320471181019068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11487875207091522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34674729763390577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552214175994251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13089056359981302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863686089350862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1940180157838149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16467741165011812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16370745914562967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17021228692157375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374400787401716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286725107348193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12529157573322836,0.0,0.0,0.12225561064926732,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,blemishedcucumber,2020/02/02,"I wish I could just be ""normal"" I am a shit person. This illness, along with many other things that are wrong with me just add to my shitty personality. I treat my husband like shit & myself. I honestly have been so suicidal because like wtf is the point if I just make everything worse, ya know? I got to counseling, take my medication (I never miss a dose), I definitely could be more active because I know that helps. But part of me doesn't want to do more to be better because I am afraid it will all just go down hill again...I'm sorry I just feel so helpless & lost. I fucking hate my brain, why can't I turn this off...",1.4787098728043588,3.671423921259844,3.1790551181102384,89.67041187159298,81.44094488188976,6.112416717141127,20.792852816474863,7.321109707123232,0.5769193216232589,486,14,104,7,13,161,86,127,0.289,0.5579999999999999,0.153,-0.9714,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,1,0,2,7,14,4,1,3,0,15,7,3,1,2,22,29,4,1,6,7,1,1,2,0,1,3,0,0,2,7,4,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,9,0,0,3,1,22,5,10,20,4,5,0,3,0,1,5,3,3,1,3,71,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33042825262906994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27885473956812457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13485789117182534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17022028211943085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2434888548788709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13704094224110994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07709945418135704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14096710332095755,0.0,0.0,0.0866590046620535,0.0,0.12195374283630485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15054435463419644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10220543516870864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16760018110032798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489899546895971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16645205806362973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017828839391857,0.1545927616876877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15360952010303702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11760347805795755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493999334807837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16512308978981272,0.0,0.0,0.26628270995440484,0.0,0.0,0.14414472682528867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3130410555877535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17069105624674358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1667905016471195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11464744784126996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10130223039782227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16585657249072314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08993780325458357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375912404895237,0.0,0.17534671431014134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1553921313099628,0.0,0.16671507247781542,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lobsterjellyhammer,2020/02/02,"Suspicious of a good mood Ever since Thursday, after a session with my therapist, I’ve felt really good. Prior to this, I was suicidally depressed. I’m not sure what made my mood lift like this. It’s not off the rails mania good feeling, but a happiness and contentment. 

I’m worried because I haven’t felt good in a long time. I’m not sure to trust it. I’m worried about getting depressed again. 

What can I do to hang on to this good feeling when I don’t know where it’s coming from?",2.931439393939397,4.496214606060609,4.373623737373737,85.7471022727273,74.65656565656566,7.374242424242425,27.52651515151515,8.07648339933343,1.7556151515151512,382,15,78,6,8,127,61,99,0.192,0.5720000000000001,0.23600000000000002,0.6153,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,5,14,0,0,5,0,5,0,0,1,3,16,17,3,1,0,4,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,0,5,0,0,2,5,2,0,0,4,4,6,10,12,13,0,14,0,2,0,0,0,4,0,0,9,45,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09352869039253636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13216520979343666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2642957694832028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13878501186767586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15515628654681754,0.0,0.2946311593434304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08016014516950504,0.0,0.0,0.643443426080968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16332766737924306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08432038203192925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07495749596372048,0.0,0.0,0.13577954081575236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14517791301052355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09829033186077273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12691777755863815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1678260575358617,0.0,0.2892094028894163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1781425061152875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08946548867181113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.311628514763587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,skeletonsmama,2020/02/03,"Aussies with bipolar: why doesn't the PBS reconisge the need for us to take anti-pyschotics and use anti-epileptics etc.? I've been diagnosed with BP2 and essentially left alone on lithium with a PRN after a 8 year history of severe depression (and unrecognised hypomania) and 2 years previous being treated with SSRI. 

Lithium hasn't been working, so seeing a pysch again and getting a feel for what drugs I might get prescribed and I find that all the drugs commonly combined or used instead of lithium as a mood stabiliser, including anti-psychotics of almost any type, are restricted.

Meaning, unless a GP or pysch lies and says I have schizophrenia or epilepsy, I have to pay full price for these drugs which, I presume, has been proven to be effective for bipolar (otherwise why else would they be so prevelently prescribed). I don't know what goes in to approving drugs for other uses on the PBS. But I'm just. Confused.


What would it take to get 'used in treatment of depressive bipolar' added to the PBS for Lamictal? Or Latuda? Or any of the other common drugs. This isn't off label use, necessarily. Especially not when you're hypo and psychotic.


Low-key, end of rant, but does anyone else have feelings or experience with this?",6.793999999999998,8.098055066666667,6.937333333333331,72.04200000000002,65.0,9.911111111111113,35.444444444444436,10.047579312681364,3.8077111111111126,990,46,163,22,15,318,137,225,0.08,0.91,0.01,-0.8628,0,1,5,0,0,0,33.0,1,0,1,3,6,5,0,1,12,0,18,9,0,6,1,44,35,21,0,3,11,0,2,0,0,3,9,1,0,0,11,13,0,1,7,0,2,0,5,3,0,0,3,4,8,1,31,26,3,15,0,2,1,0,3,7,0,9,8,106,19,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10517367818559824,0.1087807540947567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428497753948262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07344032913705056,0.10761698191936513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18092661469081928,0.10660456162443424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09191360102375164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6090148310753802,0.0,0.17548035262038522,0.0,0.09302655949032057,0.0,0.11713766658421047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027407682329644,0.0,0.0,0.1062139652397974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09599670811339098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16462356238621045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05772245730722194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11411681799589456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11440987991743773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11142161449350137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07787938030650163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08352510777069297,0.0,0.0,0.08369635001958607,0.0,0.0,0.11865547638591255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15794093705514994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12633972531137844,0.4535666152694367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895488287151665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.076464039479976,0.0,0.0,0.149222448271196,0.0,0.0,0.1352734310541223
bipolarreddit,throwaway_hellokitty,2020/02/03,"Is memory lapse or distortion a common thing? Asking as a partner of someone with untreated BP who refuses his meds.  Sometimes when I try to say things like ""remember the time you did \_\_\_"" to try and demonstrate a pattern of manic or depressive or psychotic behaviour and encourage him to seek treatment, sometimes he says no I don't remember doing that, or sometimes he says ""well I didn't mean it like that"".  Does he really truly not remember anymore, or is he just saying that to stay in denial?  Is memory lapse a real thing? Or is it just denial on purpose?  Thank you in advance for your insights.",6.503392857142856,7.234360410714286,7.4017857142857135,70.49321428571429,65.42857142857143,11.042857142857144,35.64285714285714,10.914260884657429,4.316539285714288,474,22,78,13,7,159,72,112,0.040999999999999995,0.815,0.145,0.9053,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,3,0,1,4,6,0,0,5,0,8,0,0,0,0,19,11,10,0,0,9,0,0,2,1,0,0,4,0,1,9,3,0,1,5,0,0,1,4,1,1,0,2,4,8,5,12,9,0,8,0,1,0,0,18,3,0,6,5,56,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14228168273894273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13412319226051214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12356875884239647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12554979397198146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14018241397177647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15627868663617658,0.15936058052319066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16329796759505294,0.09190926012922697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4875637534769748,0.0,0.0,0.4563659765386925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12155995181112958,0.0,0.4256804948056149,0.0,0.0,0.1529177750517604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320860382019222,0.0,0.0,0.2859412480689211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08365733145120803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19481067854886588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289949416333521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ilovechadscock,2020/02/03,Who works a low stress/low responsibility job due to their bipolar? I’m talking menial jobs like cashiering or custodial work. I’m in my mid-thirties and have a bachelor’s. I was fired from my budding career over a year ago. I think I can only hold onto a job with very low responsibility like cashiering.,3.045141242937856,5.606650491525425,5.045000000000002,76.40670903954805,77.98305084745763,6.6451977401129945,26.78248587570621,7.793537801064563,1.7852350282485872,245,10,45,4,6,84,44,59,0.142,0.7659999999999999,0.091,-0.4215,3,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,2,0,4,0,0,4,0,3,1,0,0,0,5,6,2,0,0,1,0,1,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,6,2,6,5,0,8,0,2,0,0,4,5,0,1,5,22,7,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164886825640973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7270600184666638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2386297441229727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18574236378633405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2797562706889436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19629695034373415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15648804095352367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20150929951466756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3555940596352901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15727140769853873
bipolarreddit,sjayyjar,2020/02/03,"I’m tired of needing four cups of coffee to get me “happy” enough to make it through the day... I’ve been married for two years and still in my undergrad. I’ve been off medicine for a year because I was having trouble finding the right kind that didn’t either make me gain weight or make me feel worse in general. I was diagnosed in 14 with Bipolar type(I don’t remember but it’s the one that cycles really fast). I’m pretty okay with handling myself for the most part until I have free time or a quiet house or responsibilities. I love my caffeine driven days (my doctor said I really shouldn’t have caffeine bc it’s like adderall for me but I can’t help it, it makes me feel so motivated and happy but it only last for like two hours) but once the two hours are up, I’m back to laying in bed being sad that the sun is setting and I didn’t water my dying plants. My husband is so patient and will hold me while I cry and never ever gets upset but I just wish he didn’t have to hold me. I wish I could clean the whole ass and make a whole meal for him when he gets home.. 

I guess there’s no question to this or anything but I’d rather put something on here rather than Facebook where my mom can comment and say I don’t have bipolar again LMAO",2.1868756530825517,3.7828504827586222,3.5494618599791004,90.74513322884016,76.73946360153256,5.97150818530129,22.208463949843264,6.574015621080383,0.3748068965517244,980,27,213,8,22,321,150,261,0.075,0.7040000000000001,0.221,0.993,0,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,3,13,11,0,1,10,1,23,10,1,6,2,46,43,22,1,7,14,2,3,2,0,2,5,3,3,0,10,9,3,2,6,0,1,2,9,3,0,5,9,6,28,9,25,30,6,29,0,1,0,2,11,9,1,7,19,140,38,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909527757635741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08498701305614001,0.0,0.06737510163187932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08824533358712766,0.0,0.12140668029468953,0.1425591481055095,0.0,0.0,0.11218069413577464,0.11470764930295024,0.0,0.0,0.11312716774301415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11420201848829947,0.0,0.0,0.09997631999680416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11176966694436928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10101797884454924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17323447719479415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12175590630102028,0.0,0.0,0.23531214096530156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07408267393073928,0.0,0.11086573061891136,0.0,0.21769000554291335,0.12753117623108254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150949289077013,0.0,0.09009274356236996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10799400456546678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09975325721559028,0.0,0.3688819577036319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294457122781323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.081952993460318,0.08524380434080785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11770567069725305,0.07489469766166013,0.08405935209989976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11968795983444995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11244380546514976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111082964860579,0.12381345560864017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14161047419261572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12520344201793526,0.09438786866608777,0.10513472148974763,0.08789403028072762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0850876552508712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08826552238540852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06444810000557903,0.12703239356964455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3239010158597097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13458984915909766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2467947513170389,0.25419692092934365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11263456367301965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14234913743410668
bipolarreddit,unblinking-cat,2020/02/03,"At what dosage does Abilify start to work/have symptoms? I’m 19 and I just recently got diagnosed with unspecified bipolar. My psychiatrist put me on Abilify. My therapist also thought that this would be a really good medication and would really target my issues (feelings of dread, intrusive thoughts, anger, etc.) 

However, I’m terrified of the weight gain! I’ve struggled with an eating disorder for almost all my life, and even though I am in a better place, I really cannot tolerate any weight gain — not after I’ve worked so hard to get the body that I have now. 

I’m 5’3” and (was) 123 pounds at the start of Abilify. I began at an extremely small dose. Just 1mg. After 5 days, I’ve gone up to 2mg. However, within those 5 days, I’ve gained 3 pounds. 

So my question is is it even possible that weight gain symptoms would be showing up by now? Are those 3 pounds the result of Abilify, or is it just me creating false symptoms in my head? 

Also, when does Abilify actually start to kick in?",3.612079015544044,5.479027341968912,5.316447538860103,78.43094073834197,73.50777202072537,9.799093264248707,28.12467616580311,10.125756701596842,3.1068240932642484,779,31,149,24,16,265,111,193,0.08900000000000001,0.7979999999999999,0.113,0.6887,2,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,6,13,5,1,2,8,0,13,14,2,1,1,21,26,11,0,3,5,0,5,0,0,3,8,0,0,0,9,6,4,0,4,1,0,2,2,3,0,0,6,5,13,2,24,15,2,26,0,0,0,0,1,12,0,3,12,88,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.11352400333823727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11649046596995292,0.0,0.0,0.1860625499533765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07911027353289367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10288688230901184,0.0,0.12921948328765406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15005002671101808,0.0,0.0,0.11807531382746105,0.0,0.0,0.13332743421888307,0.0,0.2036071837924809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11903746728956305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12974179089703233,0.15367339623255294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058821344450205974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060779071414179625,0.0,0.0,0.09757440898357356,0.09304194420744297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1042113127734981,0.0,0.1193909850998344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214211887706422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08216927655950672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11719302800195965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12154298557631388,0.0,0.0,0.13114772003583705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11694656622954655,0.13031932757840267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22357725601133202,0.0,0.11486457691918114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24702280232638946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12161627085125808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3627428764220234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13507131353351126,0.0,0.0,0.1142963569002751,0.18471045142993464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4249859247140243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16938328567816482,0.0,0.0,0.24791838840531946,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,caods,2020/02/03,"what's the point of socializing? most ppl now days seems to only care about themselves. When I talk to them, ppl just brag non stop. It begs the question, if I""m not enjoying it. What's the point of socializing? I feel like I cant relate to most ppl bc of my bi polar.",0.730952380952381,2.8685768571428567,2.5892857142857157,93.12238095238096,84.0,5.8761904761904775,18.261904761904766,7.1686216300943375,0.07731904761904795,208,5,48,3,6,69,40,56,0.087,0.807,0.106,0.2695,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,0,4,3,0,0,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,9,4,2,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,5,3,7,4,2,6,0,0,0,1,5,2,0,5,5,27,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2705812057870266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17115359128894006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134188371275475,0.18959355736214908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12965538841024749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20183987046094495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5017557212567366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29729579418682783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415996720500793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5410601948392081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22187662242334488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21330917848571565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,AnonymousAurelia,2020/02/03,"I’m on the country’s limit of medication, yet I’m still depressed. I live abroad. I see a psychiatrist here that mentioned I’m on the maximum dosage of Lithium. 

I feel incredibly defeated that knowing that and I’m still having depressive symptoms",3.853043478260865,6.803402565217392,5.6979999999999995,70.59700000000002,77.69565217391305,8.897391304347826,35.286956521739135,9.3871,4.2958486956521735,202,12,32,6,5,69,31,46,0.215,0.785,0.0,-0.8516,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,2,4,3,0,0,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,8,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,3,0,4,8,0,5,0,3,1,0,1,2,0,0,3,19,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5563723752175993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16331073298069124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17750390527284407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2852013446829373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3253730339235673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25737693228283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5158718837324355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3357046980463201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,LadyLacrimosa,2020/02/03,"Hypersexuality: can we talk about that? I'm a 28F and I've had horrible hypersexuality with my bipolar since I was... way too young to be dealing with that shit. It drove me into a lot of unhealthy and unsafe situations. Lately I've been doing a lot better at managing my bipolar, but the hypersexuality is still a nightmare. It makes me super jittery, unable to focus, dont want to do anything else but zone out about sex, can't even sleep. This morning I was just trying to get ready for work and it was so distracting and frustrating I was nearly in tears.
It's also something I dont really have an outlet to talk about. My therapist is fairly new-to-me, and we are still building up trust, and I'm not quite comfortable with talking to her about that yet. And obviously I don't want to be discussing that with my family or few close friends that know about my bipolar.... 
I dont know exactly what I'm looking for here, does anyone have any advice for managing this? Is there medication for something like this? Or at least can someone relate?",4.571100164203614,6.024749098522168,6.080118226600993,75.57551395730708,70.33004926108374,8.566042692939245,28.80426929392447,9.029198982220553,2.3967388505747125,829,31,155,16,15,282,119,203,0.11599999999999999,0.778,0.106,0.5677,0,0,2,0,0,0,28.0,2,0,0,4,15,9,2,1,6,0,23,7,2,1,2,31,34,13,0,2,6,0,0,1,1,0,4,0,0,0,13,16,0,0,2,0,0,1,6,3,0,0,7,1,16,6,28,25,4,15,0,0,1,1,9,8,1,4,6,112,29,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366242042766692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118088629003656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950780232740674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09776090026950872,0.0,0.11505465674949858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12365374247764464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14414165339068036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12235179891862982,0.0,0.4915813948158968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11679629880038872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09234554559799672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13180379245703536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10801961879374702,0.0,0.07304682070263349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15367576530305646,0.0,0.1577157989046334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06830584895276921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174081874115636,0.0,0.0,0.23772899802345154,0.0,0.0,0.09332664488437074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408474645116195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13503281893248828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487089436620886,0.0,0.0,0.08956815426237011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14351662233565005,0.11565523143325672,0.1571563127256958,0.13991454354597374,0.0,0.11846358572179605,0.2152706365764236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2233105981782582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33713055904276634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16233433305546927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09492423768665023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16493133425136616,0.11097750555357272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10178594548311312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,alec_nichols,2020/02/03,"Definitely hypomanic. Tips on how to sustain the high and to prepare myself for inevitable dip Title says it all. Currently going through my own journals to remember how I handle my hypomania rn, but any advice or tips you've used for your own episodes are appreciated!",8.059375,9.1768111875,8.841666666666663,60.170000000000016,62.125,11.4,41.0,11.20814326018867,5.213324999999998,219,12,33,6,3,74,41,48,0.0,0.87,0.13,0.7644,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,3,1,8,3,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,7,3,3,4,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,1,23,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41598538647891226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28948800446238304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419329528752888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4497713932214583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.482230794622766,0.0,0.0,0.3385306935795032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3676648254635259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,nanerkens,2020/02/03,"I just joined Hi everyone I take 3 pills a day to control my mania/and depression. I just feel they aren't working right I'm going on shopping sprees worth thousands of dollars, wanting to leave my loving family because I'm such a failure, cant sleep, weight gain out of control. I can go on and on with my states of mind and side effects. I was wondering I've been through 10 different types of pills and they cant seam to balance me out. Please tell me I'm not the only one? I am so lost in my mind. Yes I go to therapy and I have a regular psychiatrist. Just hoping I'm not alone. At least I'm not suicidal anymore.",1.5948205128205153,3.4496592769230787,3.7026923076923097,87.81147435897438,79.30769230769229,7.102564102564102,26.98717948717949,8.07648339933343,1.7551025641025642,486,21,104,9,12,166,83,130,0.10800000000000001,0.745,0.147,0.6076,1,1,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,2,6,5,4,0,0,4,1,8,5,1,3,0,22,23,5,1,2,6,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,7,1,2,3,1,3,3,6,2,0,2,3,2,16,2,17,20,1,14,0,2,0,1,5,9,0,2,1,60,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17707758010665914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16956034172211282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10422421007287302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3835239298930475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11026413497035936,0.0,0.14725972150566505,0.0,0.0,0.17863151990099613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16337305697001492,0.0,0.0,0.16117914296303446,0.0,0.08644963024347474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2915055232173195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16981583587693982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18103686024053828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18663840134351653,0.0,0.1543107792593176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3452701559447545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11585645903856795,0.1300334895183917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18767819337786426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460109270919504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17109755187169867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18701788940814204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12855122749536171,0.0,0.14943887879466938,0.0,0.19552375694587493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10084494006896844,0.0,0.0,0.20820036441765905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18541409263168712,0.12447116393861107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lavender-rosey,2020/02/03,"Super paranoid about weight gain I take 100 mg of Zoloft and 150 mg of Lamictal daily. I recently was weened off of klonapin because I was scared of getting addicted (0.50 mg daily) 

I definitely know my meds have made me gained, but the relief I finally had made it worth it.

But I’ve always been paranoid of being fat, and these days I am on a fine line between normal and overweight. Granted, I know I am a tall female, but the numbers have been increasing slowly as the years progress.

Would it be a dangerous idea to mention to my psyche maybe lowering the dosage? Also, any tips for keeping weight down while on meds?",5.4807773109243705,6.52010736134454,5.878476890756303,79.41082457983194,67.82352941176471,8.639075630252101,31.681722689075627,8.841846274778883,2.6471420168067223,492,20,89,8,8,158,81,119,0.121,0.7,0.179,0.7724,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,4,2,5,1,1,7,0,12,6,1,2,0,14,19,9,0,2,3,0,2,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,4,3,4,1,3,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,7,2,11,3,15,9,1,11,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,5,57,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2045803008616493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15007398250865184,0.1561505965223651,0.0,0.0,0.1276172320480949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11439758425864426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12102706906733662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2055755740306678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09804613881288116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21184861288374385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16680344054156312,0.0,0.0,0.20626928416798312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3551424160097257,0.0,0.0,0.1885326433151868,0.0,0.416902433714851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18386983314402425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18529450995648966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878833374883905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14109917329831967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4570457999057307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333103657683439,0.0,0.0,0.12084877832717357
bipolarreddit,j33perscreeperz,2020/02/03,"i just want people like us to be okay. it feels like we will never be understood. nobody understands the constant pain and the strain of being alive with something so impairing. nobody really cares, they always think we’re making excuses. people don’t get that bipolar can affect people just as severely as things like schizophrenia, depending on the case of course. i just want us to be understood.",5.9138497652582185,8.448043788732399,5.810915492957751,74.47768779342726,68.85915492957747,9.240375586854462,27.32629107981221,9.725611199111238,3.0364910798122056,323,11,49,8,6,101,52,71,0.092,0.688,0.22,0.8122,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,3,0,1,0,4,7,0,1,3,1,7,2,0,3,1,17,17,4,0,2,3,0,1,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,1,6,5,8,10,0,3,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,5,33,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16992074854828168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2082077507140188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22068063145679606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032557264056064,0.1458890982964754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10669234489262626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29930301378837765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13631310011711378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15750088873698515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21729597300656012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4247246779963956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13082344055546585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307014407864328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15721237955287873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13566938310134652,0.13085080809007638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21259190076168624,0.4912837998829632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2408990648502431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,dana561,2020/02/03,"Today I snapped for the first time in months nd now I’m depressed I thought I was getting more stable. Stabilized my meds, healthy eating, exercise, etc. and I was feeling as good as ever for months.  
Until today, I don’t know what happened but I snapped at a rude and aggressive American Airlines employee at the airport.  
And now I’m crying my eyes out all night because of this. I feel so ashamed...",2.1159595959595983,4.794878402597405,3.224588744588747,87.18227994227995,83.15584415584415,6.01962481962482,30.633477633477632,7.3871296695380915,2.2123720057720058,315,17,58,5,9,101,56,77,0.158,0.753,0.08800000000000001,-0.8128,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,4,5,2,1,3,0,3,3,1,0,2,11,11,8,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,4,1,0,0,1,4,0,1,3,3,9,1,10,8,3,15,0,1,1,0,0,4,0,0,11,39,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14186939878325014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2556418072032738,0.0,0.0,0.2004490908627681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23813980154728304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25955428185859364,0.0,0.21051664586725186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23534948471378636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979591133875948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215912631070396,0.0,0.0,0.19520198909237846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2058014287942006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12790173639594107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2585093820192732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3715240314188609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21840034019046986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1847607784708402,0.1357061136689709,0.0,0.4411996365702624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,iaea1,2020/02/03,"What is having bi-polar like? I’m aware that bi-polar disorder is more than just feeling sad and happy. For the past few years, I have felt pretty low. I have never been to see a therapist or diagnosed with anything, but I  would consider myself depressed. Aside from my mental state my mom seems to be all over the place as well. For most of my life I have felt like the outlier and always feeling like there is something wrong with me. Since I was little I felt like I had no importance in life and couldn’t see myself having a future and would correlate that with the idea that I would be dead before I even made it to ( 16, SAT, prom, graduation etc) I feel like my emotions can be everywhere and often feel hopeless. There have been many times where the smallest things piss me off and completely shift my mood or out of no where I’m sad and I’m trying to keep it together at the dinner table and stop myself from crying. There have been l times where I’ve been caught crying and I have no explanation for my friends and family as to why I’m upset or feeling the way I am. From junior year and senior year I was not happy for events that I should have been happy about. For a long time I would think it was just me being depressed and my bad anxiety, but it wasn’t until recently until I told my friends about how low I was feeling and my thoughts of feeling hopeless and even suicide. I had felt somewhat of a relief when I told them but the next day I had never been more regretful and told them I took it all back. I know how insensitive and crazy I must have sounded. I was feeling overwhelmed by what I had said but overnight I felt like I was better. On New Year’s Eve I had also engaged in smoking with a family members significant other who had a flirtatious agenda and I even continued to see them. I cannot exactly explain why, I had no interest but found it exciting and wanted to see how far He would go. It wasn’t long until my family found out about us meeting up to smoke. They were mad, but the worst part was I didn’t even feel guilty. After all this had happened, two close friends questioned me asking if they thought I could possibly be bipolar. The questioned made me second guess everything about me and what I have done. I know they aren’t professionals but just being asked made me step back.Over the years I’ve noticed my behavior has definitely effected my relationship with my mother and friends. I’ve recently considered going to a therapist just cause it wouldn’t hurt but I’m honestly scared. I feel like I’m looking for validation in what I’m feeling and I’m worried they will either be ignored or find out that I’m fine and I’m actually just bad shit crazy and there is nothing to blame for what I’m feeling and what I’m doing. I guess I’m just looking towards reddit to give me some guidance and support from an outside perspective.",4.5435314685314685,5.629000520979023,5.33525174825175,82.28133916083918,70.013986013986,8.447272727272727,28.63566433566433,8.769984970463412,2.133494965034965,2286,82,448,39,40,744,247,572,0.19399999999999998,0.63,0.17600000000000002,-0.9644,1,0,2,0,0,4,38.0,1,0,7,2,29,45,3,3,19,0,65,7,2,8,7,120,131,48,2,13,21,2,17,7,4,9,4,2,0,0,23,34,1,3,31,0,0,5,14,21,1,2,45,25,69,23,55,68,13,58,0,11,6,0,28,21,2,14,37,316,92,5,0.0,0.0,0.05877743972895801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04816725976054994,0.05011759012941484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04607707705942545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04956554779787396,0.0,0.11261699666799765,0.0,0.0,0.0926289015913617,0.10058188851292388,0.0,0.0,0.05125273088285032,0.0,0.0,0.053270034054387835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061874535964846177,0.0,0.0,0.06315177973562534,0.0,0.0,0.048090102397994466,0.0,0.13232336373702264,0.0388444564232734,0.0,0.10375493058496063,0.06113389625006115,0.0,0.0,0.06903073357682997,0.0,0.0,0.06163792962311668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06775254291986553,0.0,0.0,0.06717425452357026,0.15912984953660134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05413235811857694,0.0,0.1703432271114585,0.0,0.36545941931564135,0.12908859150938465,0.2891593341204325,0.0,0.05505067236078128,0.0,0.0,0.13208187575375627,0.1861394133776485,0.0,0.0,0.05777972425387646,0.06846211355307613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327039915554422,0.0,0.05326268347469503,0.1923532581471824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06447926858615563,0.0679942452123252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05353669247136642,0.0,0.0,0.06620352192338969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08508684610352785,0.2059831250428999,0.06036797559533929,0.0,0.10660629838868126,0.10115889768251317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1709780408100741,0.0,0.061065478690990285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06069937565125993,0.0,0.0,0.07054262594282676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09290878311421627,0.05817214035631876,0.06405708433685127,0.0,0.0,0.05779392984719142,0.06857417689508813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06522504941933095,0.0574979623032804,0.0,0.0,0.06292929511923895,0.0,0.0,0.06790217912796488,0.0,0.06127728117770982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349465522183167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11894305254094932,0.06466629267521315,0.0,0.0,0.05729412895283228,0.0,0.060302427977218825,0.0,0.19198743095561532,0.05483266732617427,0.0,0.0,0.0618269629855559,0.04982427538035522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04636929668104885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05035638882106031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06588369153251848,0.0683502066558321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13986726607364233,0.040015257662614635,0.038594034124665964,0.0,0.09563446590131663,0.10536474630347754,0.0,0.0,0.1726618794202116,0.06691962245178873,0.04089336297337584,0.0,0.058837607936623335,0.0,0.07245130547656359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03552621059485645,0.04780911100348318,0.0,0.0,0.05415552175307392,0.0,0.1086994613778104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06116820367729205,0.0,0.2139343179077546,0.06585389635788977,0.0,0.1939361640214521
bipolarreddit,veggienuggetz,2020/02/03,"Tapering off Lamictal I do not have bipolar, but I do have some mood swings, anxiety, depression, PMDD (mood swings probably because of that). I've been tapering off slowly, about 25mg per week. Started on 300 mg per day, now I'm down to 75. I can't tell if it's withdrawal but I have been feeling extemely unmotivated, depressed, irritated, and I've been having eating issues. Should I get back on this medication? I didn't think I needed it because it felt like it wasn't doing much, I couldn't tell if it was helping me. I' d been on it about six months. I've been on and off of it before, but last time I got off I also got off of my other meds at the same time. Will this get better? Can anyone give me advice? I feel like I'm starting to go crazy.",1.7737362637362608,3.55567717948718,4.0352014652014665,85.97884615384619,78.48717948717949,7.277655677655678,23.32234432234432,8.192908349453996,1.3119959706959712,584,19,125,11,14,202,92,156,0.14,0.759,0.10099999999999999,-0.8496,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,1,5,7,0,0,1,0,20,3,0,0,0,17,35,8,0,5,6,0,3,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,11,2,1,0,4,0,0,1,5,2,0,1,11,3,15,3,18,21,3,22,0,2,0,0,4,11,0,3,12,80,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1680777115279379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13754940352134626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13158054863486207,0.0,0.0,0.12026733096967013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322584077448857,0.0,0.2097008317634579,0.0,0.14636046552828966,0.0,0.0,0.15212120112641409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11092663019847032,0.0,0.2962889914291665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1760003034084402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17393808362783122,0.12287778636218775,0.16514825268706984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17972719435902798,0.16499935114137015,0.0977523210771164,0.0,0.27513035656895035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11528886759546203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17952470386372374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14020404276423146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16806232595076065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910547055708653,0.17327324711576056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13728982267641526,0.0,0.12644077017280886,0.1275368086866257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18544652785866905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24348685697134606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30067349187995523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11021150880744383,0.0,0.0,0.2005907204502048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13796909403471938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,e91411,2020/02/04,"Extreme fits of anger Looking for advice... One of the most frustrating issues I face is extreme fits of anger. I literally feel my blood boiling. A majority of the time I know that it’s probably irrational but there’s nothing I can do to stop it. It usually lasts about 30 minutes. Afterwards I am embarrassed, sad and exhausted. Does anyone else get these episodes? What do you do to help? Are there any medications for this?",2.7312658227848097,5.685230037974688,4.070746835443038,79.9481455696203,84.0632911392405,8.223291139240509,29.418987341772148,8.841846274778883,3.202715443037976,339,17,60,10,10,111,60,79,0.255,0.7040000000000001,0.04,-0.9512,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,0,3,6,3,1,3,0,7,5,2,0,0,6,11,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,7,1,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,6,0,1,0,2,7,0,9,11,2,7,0,1,1,0,2,2,0,1,5,39,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26146508606016955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819559255213903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18709029148689227,0.2741558044853043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23415121649377496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2235193571961232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13529079968860827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397936285342182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17934569321296612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27927225876021466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14704878763267426,0.21810424341266746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22469036133281395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2695473662581179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2567394322734603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1813115099309687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2884843678875701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.223699456178942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15602149002566107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2946891766173941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Vegetable_earth,2020/02/04,"So tired in the morning-what do you do? I’m on an ok meds regimen (it might be time for some tweaking), and I try to go to sleep at the same time every day. That doesn’t always happen, of course, but I have a rule that I need to be in my bed by 9-10 pm. I may not fall asleep right away, but I try. 

But no matter what I do or how much sleep I get (or don’t get), I cannot wake up in the morning. I’m now often late to work, but I just can’t do it. I can’t wake up and no motivation to get up. 

I live alone, so there’s not another person who could help wake me up. 

What do you do to deal with this?",-0.7862910798122087,0.0837487042253553,2.154577464788733,100.69177230046951,83.08450704225352,5.578403755868544,16.05868544600939,5.985473137389443,-0.93329765258216,444,6,130,3,12,158,84,142,0.08,0.8490000000000001,0.071,-0.2861,0,1,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,2,0,2,7,1,0,0,5,1,17,7,6,2,0,22,25,11,0,2,9,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,8,3,0,0,1,0,0,2,9,0,0,0,0,0,15,1,20,20,3,18,0,0,0,0,6,11,0,6,5,87,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20066880318230887,0.0,0.0,0.16121731668834674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20316603131380945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18203653045172127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15469533247413986,0.0,0.0,0.12495411324859468,0.19974996735674166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16324454964852092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3036825173217044,0.0,0.11011381645984078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17133439351808155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298679874440489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21856087356966492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17108670529298892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21521496933482095,0.0,0.0,0.2055404213283463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14243012960138188,0.14366477019521634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691769110705451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654632843606338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38778416715245856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259568829856848,0.22268960362464407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26308999422782986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14105387866281754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,wilycutie,2020/02/04,"Busprione for anxiety? Does anyone else take this for anxiety? I'm also on 150 mg of Zoloft, 40 mg of Geodon. But I recently started having anxiety attacks and this is what my psydoc prescribed me.",3.1806756756756767,5.950209162162165,5.239121621621624,73.97597972972977,79.0,9.105405405405406,30.871621621621625,9.516144504307137,3.88132972972973,157,8,25,5,4,54,30,37,0.212,0.7879999999999999,0.0,-0.7476,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,5,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,5,5,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,16,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22853806237392466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6558624652947173,0.0,0.0,0.19982393295094455,0.2928152533100408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32511586374562224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2500878939958907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2387324146572597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2821731493101458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022764660593845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21487089986634794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,-Fane-,2020/02/04,"HELP PLEASE: Lack of concentration Hello, I’ve been diagnosed with BP2 for quit a while now, and I’ve been suffering with a lack of concentration it makes my life so hard specially when I have exams and I absolutely need to study. I’ve been failing all of my exams for the last 2 years. I don’t know what to do my doctors aren’t helping and I’m losing all hope of ever getting better again. I’m constantly thinking about ending my life since I feel like I can’t get past this. 
I would be extremely thankful for any kind of tips or advice..",1.939,4.1718869000000005,3.6500000000000017,86.70500000000001,80.0,6.90909090909091,22.72727272727273,8.00094639256281,1.2389999999999994,429,14,88,8,11,143,73,110,0.133,0.687,0.18,0.7574,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,4,6,9,0,0,3,0,10,4,0,1,3,18,21,7,0,5,1,0,2,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,3,2,10,6,13,16,4,10,0,3,0,0,3,0,0,2,11,53,13,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1949189975826932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356458988130401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17641430124842722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21555534679514415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20245704327009031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2041651825317619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17667050915092036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804313148488757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10085762292329883,0.14250083919614048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20842885260838728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17868522704286166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2674000056267543,0.0,0.0,0.1981179270870736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2077164808218411,0.10962305795013574,0.1625940240631043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2817819955861266,0.09745057749757907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2231550170338729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13314724257628455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14790388730370518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19041592563251056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21895728651840413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2121600516076738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650029868098155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18364444351395115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12781181171218126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14169719947324375,0.0,0.0,0.12845162752369862
bipolarreddit,YMN-1,2020/02/04,"Experiences Hace guys I have Bipolar all my life since age or 4, wanting to kill people when manic. I lucky was ough to be able to thinking, otherwise I'd kill peook4 to death.
Been depressed from most of my chilehood
Im now 18

Im depredsefd &manic most of the time of my life 
Anyone the same case?",1.3810772833723668,3.841383360655741,2.8970960187353647,89.81295081967217,84.24590163934425,5.4529274004683845,23.46838407494145,6.868970318607317,0.8205531615925059,239,9,49,3,7,78,45,61,0.23600000000000002,0.7240000000000001,0.04,-0.9413,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,2,0,2,0,4,3,0,0,1,8,6,2,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,5,1,8,3,4,4,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,4,4,26,5,0,0.228431243365314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2475051567487523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15972443665198566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19674749518696516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2234495885302825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22618284484058246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4934898836654133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5054506517586244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3226954854067331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15836546197363344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18896068505512328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14636951709915047,0.0,0.0,0.1332000950017124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13473466578629836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,windowsvistahatepage,2020/02/04,High functioning bipolar? Is high functioning bipolar real? How can you differentiate it from cyclothymia?,9.016000000000002,13.168855933333333,7.600000000000001,49.48000000000002,89.66666666666666,10.0,45.0,8.841846274778883,7.275000000000002,89,6,8,3,3,27,12,15,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,6,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.880403163763412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4742259685375473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,11771177117711,2020/02/04,"Is this a manic episode? What do I do? Hey guys! I think I might be having a manic episode but I’m not sure? I’m not diagnosed bipolar as this has never happened and I don’t think I’ve had one before so unsure if it’s a one off. Wasn’t sure where else to ask but basically I want to turn it off, what are some things you guys do to help? I haven’t slept for 3 days - literally, no exaggeration. I tried napping for the last 2 hours  I just can’t, my brain won’t turn off. My body is exhausted but I don’t feel the actual tired effects. I could do anything right now and not crash. I can’t stop talking, I’ve made like a million career plans and ideas and projects, spending money, I’m also weirdly hyper sexual which is bizarre because normally my libido is non existent. I also have endometriosis and the sexual stuff is causing me so much pain and yet it still won’t go away? Could be unrelated but ahhhhhhhh its so out of character and I’m hurting but can’t turn it off. I just want to be able to sleep tonight. I also just got out of a deep suicidal depression and in a way it’s lucky this episode hit because I gathered everything I needed to do it and then it’s like I switched. I will dispose of what I was going to use to do it so it’s okay, but is this mania?",0.2297275985663063,2.4051460444444466,2.8408482676224622,90.20801075268818,86.70370370370371,6.002389486260455,22.043010752688176,7.359569317364363,0.8402580645161293,992,36,222,17,31,344,140,270,0.165,0.745,0.09,-0.9758,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,0,2,14,11,0,0,9,1,34,9,4,4,3,45,56,25,1,7,13,0,1,2,0,4,5,0,0,2,20,11,0,1,5,1,2,2,14,5,0,3,6,1,24,6,22,40,2,24,0,2,0,0,8,11,0,4,12,150,44,2,0.12023766490311776,0.0,0.11733461645376204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2884620515470543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09894535330226184,0.0,0.11240598579274284,0.0,0.11296724415837425,0.0,0.0,0.14659152903856645,0.0,0.10231339691007901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13355694006611332,0.0,0.13422499901512794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12351720284463022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19199998319460165,0.0,0.0,0.07754334684867463,0.0,0.10356052459507904,0.12203869889370172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10044314046637988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10806186024553333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060795776112617765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13666767168503371,0.0,0.0961650445427479,0.0,0.0,0.23810838398566755,0.1063257699828407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0805927722833603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11840987989638285,0.0,0.12871690709332295,0.13573368829674706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09800974480340008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11748409926523268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11377178575644277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127553161461581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08838851842683015,0.08915470499974182,0.09273469959020272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178073827315627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.162952307027157,0.0,0.12794135284261554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10268230885982303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12032449910673787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09602195450895334,0.10052407174524557,0.0,0.0,0.13764335970477742,0.1315204900413084,0.0,0.2266451524337473,0.0,0.0,0.09664248052732824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07988056185829696,0.15408688137159746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1381955081310927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08163348186160592,0.3923521568998485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10384673741093484,0.0,0.0,0.14183858002067345,0.095439061797469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,golang-gopher,2020/02/04,"Videogame Enjoyment and Bipolar - Also Any Computer Programmers Out There? Im probably over-analyzing, but I often reflect on my past-times and how my newly diagnosed disorder pertains to past behavior or patterns of any kinds. (Mostly to just better understand how my mind might work)

I grew up as a 1980s baby where the likes of Nintendo and Arcade were at their peak influence to promote addiction. As a child I loved playing them and still do to this day.

But, things started acting funny in 6th and 8th grade where I had seizures after playing late night video games sessions, in the morning I would be in a grand maul seizure and in the hospital nearly dying.

But as I have gotten older and diagnosed, I still play, but I have always been attracted to very intense and emotional games that make me feel competitive and aggressive (the aggressive release is key for me to get out extra energy of the high end of bipolar disorder's never ending energy level). In my twenties I was addicted to super smash bros melee and competitive melee and I loved being social and hanging with friends traveling to tournaments.

Now as a father and less time for friends and things like that, I currently am addicted to Rocket League which offers quite the aggressive and intense gameplay.

I guess I just wanted to start a discussion of anyone who might also want to talk about how video games are either beneficial to our disorder or are possibly negative (obviously if you [play all day that isnt productive](https://bipolaronline.com/bipolar-and-playing-video-games-all-day/)) But I just wanted to analyze more how video games can either make our disorder worse or possibly better.

For me, its always a way to zone out and think and react quickly to perfect my reaction time to things, enjoy competition and appreciate the art and computer programming of video games.

That is why I started programming in the first place, was with video games.

So if there are any bipolar people who are also computer programmers, I want to get to know you too, so we can share strategies and love of games and code with each other to better understand how to get better at our craft of gaming master or code gods. Or at least we think we are gods when we are grandiose manic assholes who know everything!! LOL",10.50630042258932,9.197753355231146,9.728067614291202,63.84537072608529,58.02676399026764,13.421488026635934,40.60968113714944,12.303257153313005,5.1710700729927,1843,78,294,49,19,588,211,411,0.063,0.687,0.25,0.9982,1,0,0,0,0,0,50.0,7,2,2,11,25,26,3,0,14,1,25,11,0,9,4,81,49,48,1,7,17,2,1,2,2,3,8,0,0,1,14,32,0,0,8,20,0,4,3,3,0,1,6,1,35,23,55,38,9,47,0,0,0,3,35,20,0,12,24,212,49,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2726133818643669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19998101346622293,0.13871893503857924,0.0,0.0,0.17005628140281312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05828495584972322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2948889750848765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.161274562881259,0.0,0.0,0.1692106296545606,0.08651111367368927,0.0,0.3821360852340549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09376508902094248,0.1476586223524853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07491564388815973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04214766155985567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07090318233665281,0.0,0.0,0.12880238817238376,0.0,0.13065133528471248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09182682335884736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08807094989957523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09003956027215104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08680319524029548,0.09162134525324868,0.0,0.09403000944772888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08144776448487227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2256980792494561,0.0,0.11128251400493534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1768566115584656,0.08416652354957016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06428984023400856,0.0,0.0,0.07822463375349853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15914684000175325,0.057789053151370125,0.0,0.08709002945999404,0.0,0.0,0.1879443514962979,0.0,0.0,0.0898726412366532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08866013091030395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08497167734742588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1770009435747151,0.0,0.1331375664474583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06699897298827963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16613549994878,0.10682323908216128,0.0,0.0,0.09721194601261073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17355456778198533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0687780227427324,0.19666380953071247,0.06616468336185982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07521647331136895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06068468398153589,0.0,0.08494761771089993,0.05921422133773109,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,theprintmaker,2020/02/04,"How much of your daily stuff do you share with your partner(s)? So I have an incredibly insightful partner who can read me quite well, but occasionally asks me questions about what life in my head is like. In the past I have had partners who couldn't read me so much and needed a daily  sort of check in with my brain, to judge if there was anything that needed actioning going on in there, which I found to exacerbate whatever was actually going on. 

I am just curious how much other people actually talk about their mental health on a personal level with their loved ones?",12.043888888888883,8.038294500000003,11.219629629629633,62.71333333333334,57.70370370370371,14.503703703703707,40.888888888888886,12.161744961471696,4.7194,458,15,83,10,4,149,76,108,0.0,0.863,0.13699999999999998,0.935,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,3,2,1,10,4,0,0,4,0,10,5,2,2,0,16,17,7,0,4,3,0,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,3,7,4,0,0,3,2,1,3,1,0,1,1,4,0,14,4,16,12,3,12,0,0,0,1,15,8,0,3,2,66,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.34140271884411644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14394819557660382,0.0,0.16353106322684496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19527391398032848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917960007287756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19882757578941904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17952329780477316,0.18593686928900066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12355455057063225,0.08545941539321512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15787645026248714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17628304307775836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3857695378083231,0.2594090269741628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11853356311714627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16698550284647146,0.12127082258619395,0.15273757730468934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1959557954481424,0.1860540434522984,0.34994424931685986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20024703132927416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14059791818074152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15727839160891682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lillian_42,2020/02/04,"Mood swings, probably I hate it when I’m eased into false comfort by a series of good mental health days, and I’m like, “OMG I’m cured! I’ll finally be consistent in academia, work, and artistic endeavors. And maybe my depressive episodes will stop being such a huge obstacle in mothering the most important boy in the world to me. Maybe the hypersomnia depression crashes will even end!” Then BOOM “I wanna die and am the worst person to have ever existed. It’s so hard not to self medicate right now. The medications I’m on are only doing so much.",3.961047619047618,6.078524723809522,5.255238095238095,78.16476190476193,73.19047619047619,9.619047619047619,28.809523809523807,9.994966539143718,3.2033809523809516,436,18,80,13,9,145,80,105,0.20800000000000002,0.6709999999999999,0.12,-0.9128,0,0,0,0,0,1,12.0,0,0,0,1,7,8,1,0,7,0,8,3,0,0,1,10,13,8,1,1,1,1,1,1,0,2,3,1,0,3,2,5,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,2,4,3,11,9,3,16,0,2,0,0,4,8,0,1,9,48,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1246907018483184,0.0,0.3330533184423972,0.0,0.20066025209928806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17124514485873762,0.0,0.0,0.12770170090376082,0.1748904601953328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21179859023515726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16216753579162496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17319799289723087,0.19088689140774434,0.0,0.20551532887384674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09445797343508494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3884794996268127,0.0,0.0,0.3895469060178705,0.19484499073014766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421298776216396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14704660836629035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.168820275135313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20845722684136894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16511447699211573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20169966241263565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16164400387600272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14075652790959303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jumpingjellyf1sh,2020/02/04,"Do I need to go to the hospital? I had the worst panic attack of my life last night. I couldn't breathe, I thought there was something wrong with my lungs. My brother had to call an ambulance, I was just a mess. The paramedics were great when they got there and convinced me to go to the hospital. But I left before the doctor saw me.

I'm still incredibly anxious today, I can't stop twitching and shaking. I've booked an appointment with my GP to see if she can give me something to calm down.",3.0948,4.646035479999998,3.799000000000003,90.08950000000002,74.2,7.0,27.5,7.645422480735847,1.4139,388,15,83,5,8,123,67,100,0.18600000000000005,0.7120000000000001,0.102,-0.8444,0,0,2,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,0,5,9,1,2,8,0,9,5,2,0,0,11,18,5,0,3,3,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,1,1,0,3,2,6,0,0,8,2,16,3,11,9,1,11,0,0,2,0,5,2,0,1,6,54,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24268483957767464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24438814376996704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18279553502476992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21935468303423736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21987681609942406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20607439694701485,0.2441736949483916,0.0,0.1718107432531228,0.2368392088386856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17510652837305787,0.0,0.0,0.23340196771344646,0.0,0.15173333487941995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15928590480410387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20159350737369566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2520443464120025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17118329382184072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3307570250220873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17155509521411602,0.17959868436085855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17054265265588803,0.0,0.0,0.20362372629692485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23487135243039656,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Gambino12345678910,2020/02/04,"Help with feeling depressed after psychosis Hi, so 6 months ago I went through an episode of psychosis, which was a pretty horrible experience as you can imagine. I’m no longer paranoid or delusional but I sadly don’t feel the way that I felt before the episode. I now have issues with low energy, low motivation, anhedonia, apathy and low mood. I don’t have the same passion/zest/enthusiasm for life that I had before and I feel like I’ve lost my mojo to be honest. I have been off any medication (Olanzapine) for 2 months now so I would expect any withdrawal symptoms to be fading/have faded. I guess I’m just looking to see if anyone has any advice that could help/lifestyle changes that might help. I’m particularly interested in if anyone can think of any supplements that have helped them in similar situations?

TL;DR Had psychosis, now depressed. Please help!",4.772785714285714,7.187660850000004,5.755892857142857,74.15125000000003,71.75,8.571428571428571,30.17857142857143,9.23628265651192,3.0115446428571433,696,30,117,16,14,229,103,160,0.165,0.642,0.192,0.6986,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,1,2,6,11,0,0,5,0,18,3,0,1,0,22,31,9,0,5,5,0,4,1,0,2,3,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,7,0,0,1,3,7,0,0,7,6,13,3,15,19,1,16,0,7,2,0,7,6,0,5,9,71,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13565920734886894,0.123060915227272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37762589262845214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19414080119240065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23626148357545795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14685955105884474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11084130291335996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23914134335887516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13579851352958894,0.0,0.0,0.2105838633054926,0.0991773563974736,0.13329477686786945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15293254320895516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4652608680821252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14489832592494006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980569432442806,0.06782339465604204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116578916048187,0.0,0.151545030654986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13985263807320214,0.0,0.14727249838131576,0.0,0.0,0.221619253999106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15238931197429506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14123599963490446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11062638635074212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560462944842896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14429341936914888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08895412597913394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11019365504566958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12869313729250922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09861804135299734,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,beast_breathing,2020/02/05,"Has anyone ever felt possessed during a manic episode? Hi everyone! This is my first actual subreddit post. I've been lurking for a while and y'all have helped me a LOT.

I'm 27, dx last year so I've been on meds for a year now. I have a LITTLE more ""control"" over my life, but we're working on it. This is something that's been happening for about 5 years now, since mid-college. 

When I'm manic I will actually feel possessed by a fictional character. I'm not sure if this is psychosis. It probably is, and I haven't told anyone about it yet. I'm just recently discovering that I am most likely having psychotic episodes and I have bipolar type 1, my mania can last a very very long time. 

I am a professional cosplayer and I absolutely love acting, I always have. But here's the interesting part:

\- *Trying* to act like a fictional character, say Kylo Ren from Star Wars 7-9. I will put on his full costume and act angry and emotional like him to kids or convention folks, I'll TRY to imitate his yelling and his voice.

\- Some days I will actually think I'm Kylo Ren (or another character, usually ones I cosplay because I know them/their backstory/the world lore so much). I'll adopt the actor's speech patterns, mannerisms, facial expressions, almost down a T. That usually lasts about a day or two, then I feel EXTREMELY depressed after. Those are the days I want to get up and run around and ACT...lol! 

I always thought this was escapism, imagination gone wild. Is this full-on psychosis? Has anyone felt ""possessed"" by a character, a religious entity, etc in relation to their bipolar? 

Thank you so much for listening!

TL;DR - I'm 27, have bipolar 1, and think I might have psychosis pretty much every time I'm manic. It feels like being possessed I would imagine. Anyone else?",2.5153515098676387,5.128996703812317,4.19904573194896,81.37262265197752,80.49560117302053,7.792058333993817,26.51826900213997,8.685302888712808,2.441200618213521,1400,59,256,35,37,468,193,341,0.065,0.8290000000000001,0.105,0.9215,0,0,1,0,1,0,66.0,0,2,1,3,14,10,1,0,16,0,29,7,1,1,2,40,53,22,1,3,8,0,5,4,0,5,5,5,0,1,13,11,0,1,11,1,0,6,2,2,0,3,9,10,28,8,24,38,10,42,1,1,0,1,15,11,0,9,28,152,41,3,0.0,0.0,0.30011685203032057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10265303932914874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1705998474964253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10749494741185947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2867209029980887,0.10503778576573164,0.0,0.09125926219094113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06249162943699965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11497825356671225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19833929538850376,0.0,0.0882952237382605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08563735646501308,0.11531453786761538,0.0,0.0,0.11433029349391173,0.0,0.09272985109322668,0.08637253071423108,0.09795659308927948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15550259160602548,0.07323607662220773,0.1968591792850821,0.0,0.0,0.08719842096740546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05355937377637603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09065285915154432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06871302446824523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056339055383010685,0.2506879637713973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07240872382196853,0.2003327980593223,0.10274603590913972,0.0,0.09072173163306774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08715380176814706,0.0925229563156727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11387002867205707,0.0,0.0,0.1087512348340105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22607892459713855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06946619121467942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11101275475488016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09818014762786162,0.10429367011580734,0.1105275129513495,0.0,0.0,0.10305496130187206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10122028299768418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08152330812112273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08480070330157094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07892034435291588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966183037483415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09438118829544892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13137376156631098,0.0,0.08138472568232599,0.119553564623098,0.0,0.0,0.09795659308927948,0.0,0.13920065727141412,0.0,0.10014135670852138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258095440228179,0.1691696982499555,0.060465458274810736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07463146851393833,0.0,0.0,0.07282305856101791,0.0,0.0,0.1980471123252375
bipolarreddit,sageandcitrus,2020/02/05,"Misdiagnosed for years - new breastfeeding mama in an intense mixed episode seeking advice / encouragement Background info:
A while back (like 10 years ago) a doctor suspected bipolar 2, but my drug use and general distrust of doctors hindered the transparency that an actual diagnosis warranted until recently, at age 28.

My daughter turned two months old the other day. We have been on and off of formula for about a month due to her sensitivity to dairy (until the protein is largely cleared from my system, or low enough to pass to her). Last appointment we were told formula for 2 weeks, clear the dairy, and resume breastfeeding. 

We hit that two week break yesterday, but in that month and two weeks, I was prescribed a new med for what I thought was worsening depression PPD/PPA.

Wrong.

I was prescribed buspar for my increasing anxiety. I felt amazing for two or three days, and until this morning, had been having a fucking AWFUL mixed episode. 

Thankfully, with a psychiatrist in the family, I was able to at least talk through these changes with someone I trusted, and he opened my eyes to the fact that my meds didn’t just stop working, I was on Zoloft and now buspar, and that likely threw me into this episode.

CURRENT ISSUE: 

My question is, not having had amazing success with Abilify long term, have any mamas (or daddies that remember) had success with being able to remain breastfeeding while on a medication for bipolar? 

I’m reading that most of these meds may be molecularly too large to pass to babe in high amounts, but I’m not a doctor.

My options are seeming like Latuda or Abilify, that my doctor is moderately comfortable with anyway, for now until I get an appointment with a new psychiatrist. 



TLDR;

New mom. Wants to resume breastfeeding on a med regimen to control my mixed bipolar. Anyone already been through this and have advice? Need to restart meds ASAP. Back to work from leave on the 17th 🤦🏼‍♀️",6.715910182516812,8.264774302593661,6.677568443804038,72.93961875600388,65.34005763688761,9.817915465898174,35.78398174831892,10.02789654360092,3.90419125840538,1541,74,250,35,24,489,191,347,0.087,0.795,0.11800000000000001,0.9296,1,0,1,0,0,0,47.0,3,0,0,5,8,16,2,0,20,1,25,12,1,2,3,49,40,22,0,2,10,2,1,3,0,1,10,0,0,1,15,20,0,2,7,1,0,4,3,5,0,5,17,2,24,11,52,19,6,57,0,2,1,1,13,16,1,9,38,171,39,9,0.1677519705950706,0.0,0.08185086239405585,0.0,0.0,0.16392528417715546,0.07435100017890378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09255923548433086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057038546232416026,0.0,0.06416489917394702,0.0,0.0,0.058648039133832965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12899091067642687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08872967088603331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09407404963097872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10818614325954802,0.0,0.07224226323208194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3434025003273615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09726951408221322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0866663142765177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07907081416698837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0805340993966017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07754199684795055,0.04382174046433479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08861958357799216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08754473698551328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06837012279612235,0.0,0.0888125576938801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12293270903013002,0.0,0.0,0.07422760756498756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.465836555891009,0.08449623098607048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09823454025196322,0.2008470337227475,0.0,0.0,0.06219298030937177,0.0,0.32403179705882434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08801373711035894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09396029945424712,0.0,0.08389868333035712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0828174166070536,0.0,0.09501514069595772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07635754685317757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07106785015474147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07012407942674519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06741633981630442,0.0,0.07722173816794997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06658816328776884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08014709837817872,0.0,0.0,0.09123298640822332,0.32773859991341553,0.0,0.0,0.07244192098453439,0.0,0.0,0.04947222928033096,0.0,0.20184076825272615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12212543250953853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917052228500938,0.0,0.10802676909882702
bipolarreddit,EmotionalPsych,2020/02/05,"BPD Paid Research Opportunity  

Hello everyone,

We are looking for participants from the UK who have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder to take part in our paid research project - participants will be rewarded with Amazon vouchers  :)

Please find further information in the picture below and don't hesitate to contact us if you have any questions!

Please contact [emotions@hope.ac.uk](mailto:emotions@hope.ac.uk) (reference ""BPD Study "") in order to participate.

Best regards,

Emotions Research Team",11.002916666666673,15.782503458333334,9.061666666666667,46.12500000000003,63.02777777777778,11.377777777777775,46.5,10.686352973137794,7.348549999999999,427,27,42,14,8,129,58,72,0.031,0.725,0.245,0.951,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,3,1,0,4,0,3,0,0,2,0,7,1,0,0,0,9,11,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,4,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,4,3,11,6,2,6,0,0,1,0,12,5,0,2,0,29,5,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12865370983649085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985401807902437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4765490382971242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920209156866901,0.0,0.0,0.21682479745323896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21281001424085316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807763735241001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17291357437200167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3758109390391257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15886950901508212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2048711841296557,0.0,0.0,0.1651908711587659,0.0,0.41534122966961545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2119328401688204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14224514831076646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22756877728518615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ShlooptyDoopty,2020/02/05,"Oxytocin Overload Does anyone ever feel like their BP takes them on a particularly special type of emotional rollercoaster when it comes to love/relationships?  Obviously the disorder effects all of our relationships, but when it comes to love, for me, it feels like it takes me on the Kingda Ka of emo-coasters.  It’s nuts.  I’ll fall in love so fast and so hard, I honestly am started to believe that my body has a side disorder where I produce too much Oxytocin or something, because it feels unnaturally intense.  Like, is this really how everyone falls for people?  And I can say with pride that I take my meds on schedule, consistently, daily, and for the most part I feel great.  But obviously medication only can help but so much.  I still feel these extreme emotions that can hit me at unpredictable times, and I’ll be sitting at work with my head in my hands, worrying whether I really have it in me to steer my life in the direction I want it to go.  These emotions have arms of their own that sprout out of me sometimes and grab the wheel, jerking it in an opposite direction, to wherever they feel like taking me.  Especially with love.  Distractions help, but I work full time, and I find that my energy levels for positive distractions is nonexistent by the time I get off work.  I’m trying, but fuck if this doesn’t feel like the hardest fucking thing sometimes..",7.202941176470588,7.5922485098039285,7.374901960784314,72.46705882352943,63.90196078431373,11.1921568627451,35.82352941176471,10.93419730881044,4.020105882352942,1090,48,196,28,15,353,143,255,0.086,0.691,0.223,0.9924,0,0,1,0,1,0,31.0,1,0,4,6,10,17,3,2,10,0,11,11,4,3,4,37,35,20,0,2,8,0,10,5,0,0,2,1,0,0,19,12,0,0,9,0,0,5,1,5,0,0,0,11,28,12,31,33,7,32,0,0,0,5,12,16,2,3,15,130,47,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06557194076845463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057166357682606375,0.0,0.0,0.10565598698423358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10416650753134844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16156333686569474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2149560240816032,0.0,0.08206598844209459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3164637653298992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08482780627114878,0.0,0.08960914747080942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33191974651575484,0.2679808345005064,0.0,0.0,0.0857116319104599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1733929829360078,0.04899527098494751,0.0,0.05329634702930347,0.0,0.0,0.1033908641721639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08400690221541414,0.0,0.09624355114384847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12571518360440387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0662383593233195,0.22907660779117014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33855416875798816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10416650753134844,0.0944717323069036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378756246711766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0713225935445165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10155271838521664,0.0,0.06501403861533014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12015351106302685,0.0,0.0,0.2013655142472188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07457623738583677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07219508715581771,0.18549819669975612,0.0,0.06637673603669096,0.0,0.07489144062884613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2820383266574898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062302109828973586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16404857496230024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06366928366985483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05531284823778312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20481507340501248,0.09523637647606906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,soap_chan,2020/02/05,"Do you also suffer from crippling paranoia? My paranoia has gotten so severe over the past few months I feel like I’m going crazy. I can’t sleep or eat, and it’s hard to ever have peace of mind. It’s weird because I’ll go through phases/moments of clarity for like 3 seconds once per week where I’m like “whoa, I’m probably safe” and I feel content and happy, then I go back to feeling scared of people and the internet. I’m so unstable lately I don’t know what to do, my moods are going from 1-100 every minute/hour/day. I’ve never been so up and down so fast and often... one minute I feel manic, then I’m angry and irritated then depressed and scared, sometimes all in the span of a single hour. I go through these episodes sometimes but it seems to be worse. 

Is chronic paranoia normal for bipolar disorder? I’ve been diagnosed since I was 16 and I’m now 18 so I’m still relatively new to the disorder, I think. It’s weird because I feel like a narcissistic, depressed, wired schizophrenic. Does that make sense? Does anyone else know what this feels like?",1.919218950064021,4.2485627934272285,3.3098527528809214,88.57696862996158,80.69014084507046,5.938454972257789,23.766325224071704,7.1686216300943375,1.00605352112676,837,30,167,11,22,273,126,213,0.207,0.695,0.098,-0.9675,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,1,0,0,12,15,0,2,6,0,12,6,1,1,3,29,36,20,0,1,2,0,7,5,0,0,4,0,0,0,9,9,1,1,10,0,0,5,3,7,0,2,4,7,13,7,19,31,3,26,0,3,0,0,1,6,0,3,20,91,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08964768298032774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07838410988082499,0.1148614315176672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08619928189769582,0.0,0.13667230249910955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07229631771224121,0.0,0.19310604694902134,0.11378085815183515,0.0,0.0,0.2569565032496864,0.0,0.1962018930700397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11470801763202672,0.09364657949757796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014023987971672,0.09445051082633277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34009190400132105,0.2402564145342657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3185498761233295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11933433617451353,0.1004210974516186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2207951718659545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12321631695623485,0.0,0.12645559193094585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27383612236879223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07482875021873009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11319075281117985,0.0,0.08947850143029269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0864597360958135,0.10826851315344274,0.0,0.0,0.1098358571939074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11938464389479855,0.07596300804354163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10701375004938553,0.07771719865079632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12086458475042736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22446670095496574,0.0,0.0,0.10205317059470033,0.0,0.1266430040317291,0.0,0.0927316784518621,0.0,0.11218265098826707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22174288060425287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08952455642747792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07183023807747753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08992121584291765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142412017593922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,shayfordson,2020/02/05,"Bipolllaarrrrr Hey guys... so I was diagnosed with bipolar by a pcp when i was 19 after uncontrollable bouts of depression that made me unable to get out of bed or function at all. They put me on welbutrin which worked at first, then threw me into mania. I overdosed on xanax during that time which brought me to urgent psych care. They gave me abilify and a few others I cant remember, always antipsychotics. None of which helped my mania. I'd found a psych I liked earlier last year who put me on lamictal, which seemed to be helping. Then sent me for ketamine treatments which started off okay. Made me not want to kill myself but then threw me back down hard. Well long story short I no longer have a psych I started seeing a pcp again trying to get stable. She put me on vraylar... at first I was getting sick from it, nausea vomiting headaches, then i got okay and now 2 weeks into it I'm going in and out of mania... one of the side effects was tremors and uncontrollable muscle movements and I have felt this for over a week. I have an appt with her so I'm going to see about trying lamictal because the psych had told me I need a mood stabilizer before anything else and lamictal seemed to be helping... any suggestions or advice?? #bipolar #vraylar",3.4149490758204446,5.676424966804984,4.154471897397208,84.78833553376086,75.26556016597509,6.87144473783478,25.892304790645035,7.84624498591911,1.5882182572614107,991,36,185,15,22,316,144,241,0.073,0.847,0.08,-0.2621,0,0,0,0,0,1,31.0,0,0,2,4,8,10,1,2,10,2,11,6,0,3,1,27,38,16,1,2,4,0,2,1,0,0,6,0,1,1,12,12,0,0,6,0,0,10,4,4,1,3,16,4,29,5,35,20,3,46,0,1,2,0,14,17,0,4,20,125,41,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12974426943212775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11047779818485234,0.0,0.0,0.090290214197802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10926089168284413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10209426540332424,0.0,0.0809372074653008,0.0,0.11298007035607235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13537095416790418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143572172190403,0.13476183181848486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11091483050504156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274829315445237,0.0,0.0,0.22587334502457104,0.0,0.14557877559276214,0.0,0.0,0.208105286392974,0.0,0.15091594677426476,0.0,0.10619072209852698,0.0,0.0,0.13146617543504371,0.0,0.0,0.11893855667482878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26698489223559296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14689368706254308,0.0,0.0,0.10822774140908238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06486619641986592,0.0,0.0,0.11749995448909654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25126610487961704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09844952027444058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08997044213473318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4004207055423501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15040596179495105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21160583136951394,0.2417431619978396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18795486972596728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774210222256329,0.0,0.0,0.1268703211756374,0.0,0.18028834546938652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07831297383286494,0.0,0.21300503376703514,0.0,0.11937890044956433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09666034803336863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0855014789585078
bipolarreddit,ttrthrowawayayay,2020/02/05,"Extreme anger during depression? Ok I’ve never felt like this before and It’s kinda freaking me out. I’m definitely depressed, I was hypomanic for most of last month so It makes sense that I’m depressed now. But I am sooooo irritated and angry. Cursing a lot. Getting urges to text people I haven’t spoken to in months an curse them out for things they did. I get so pissed at people chewing or moving around too much in class that the only thing stopping me from walking out early is needing the attendance credit. Dealing with customers at work has me mimicking punching walls when I’m alone in the stock room and cursing under my breath. I’ve never had anger issues like this, ever ever before in my life and it’s freaking me out. Any one else get like this during depression???",3.995630769230772,6.173543240000001,4.722000000000001,81.75946153846157,73.26666666666667,6.482051282051282,26.205128205128197,7.321109707123232,1.4832974358974362,626,22,109,7,13,201,101,150,0.29600000000000004,0.6609999999999999,0.042,-0.9923,0,1,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,2,1,8,14,3,0,5,1,7,4,2,1,4,23,16,9,0,1,2,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,10,10,1,1,1,0,1,3,3,9,0,1,4,1,12,5,19,12,3,28,0,4,0,0,3,14,1,4,14,72,22,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15582455750075694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10231360880524652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339356040203381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25604986817013925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15511105752634993,0.5183418686314434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12568467889701054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2721877937365175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444590524374893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2358173922997833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1570344716780942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12263976661020926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062698287122453,0.22051209106605515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12791027236295485,0.0,0.0,0.1004289477946062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401812598129737,0.1599083687989056,0.11060070906860044,0.11155943967921728,0.2320781864542878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019512546558146,0.11442674421165028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2086111678527062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12578594834905807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19990937600429434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10953201433324113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,akiamarie,2020/02/05,"Truly if 1 thing could be ok life would be better I just feel like a garbage human. No matter how hard I try or what I do I cant get things right. I do what I'm I'm supossed to and life is still just shitty. 

I've tried changing my med schedule so I'm not a zombie but nothing has helped, my binge eating is trying to resurface again, my doctor won't put me on topiramate because she thinks a med change would set me off, my assult case isn't going to court, I had a friend break up because I decided to live my life outside if her ever watchful eye, that same ex-friend's abusive ex-bf just got out of jail and he's a loose cannon, I can't seem to get to work on time because of the aforementioned sleepiness...

Truly I have no idea how to process this or how to be. I just need a singular thing to be ok. I feel like nothing is ever ok anymore.",2.041124121779859,3.0774475737704954,3.758130366900861,91.40028688524592,75.99453551912569,6.102888368462138,24.00039032006245,6.1826913282559595,0.4706521467603433,658,20,150,4,14,221,109,183,0.09300000000000001,0.7659999999999999,0.141,0.7684,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,2,12,7,0,0,7,3,19,6,1,3,2,30,31,11,0,6,10,0,3,2,1,3,4,0,0,1,7,3,1,0,6,0,0,2,7,0,0,0,2,5,20,7,16,21,1,16,0,0,2,0,6,6,0,5,8,92,27,2,0.0,0.1568714349448818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13130445731397605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24212802127441785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11709635774255045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2801216551522729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10571001003157056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13551621996136462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13547746361525162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2395253632158812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13389005552626815,0.18917206969096204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20458263004491412,0.0,0.13834626397171768,0.0,0.0752455323403513,0.0,0.1058917574278843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11860370231354085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08874441158581972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14946261257667268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2805524704663677,0.12936714998865648,0.0,0.11691094387617385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2941313897900729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09817234984163696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2540812599378152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13309779292222176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11306821718453056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12053128448629342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10573419440463644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26388049170221445,0.08483607917306818,0.0,0.0,0.07720305449782112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2696711544320081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963882147571,0.0,0.0,0.1881052255199113,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,HaircutIdiot,2020/02/05,"Lamotrigine having the opposite effect (CW: self harm) Venting. I don’t have any bipolar friends so I thought maybe someone here would understand.

I’ve been taking generic lamictal since mid December and I’ve only become more unstable since then. I had been doing relatively fine, getting all my work done and cutting only when I was really stressed, but lamictal has made me experience really deep depression where I’m low functioning and can’t stop thinking about suicide/cutting. I haven’t had a depressive episode like this in a LONG time — I can hardly remember my freshman/sophomore years because I was so unstable, and I fear I’m headed in that direction again. I just want to hurt myself so badly and hide away and die. And the worst part is that I’m waiting for my health insurance to kick in, which means I can’t go back to the psychiatrist for a while, and I don’t know if it’s safe to stop lamictal abruptly. I don’t know what to do or even how to get through the day. I don’t know what to do.",6.057278911564622,6.507118673469389,6.734081632653062,75.8740136054422,66.34693877551021,10.61496598639456,35.21088435374149,10.504223727775694,3.759606802721088,804,37,151,20,12,265,123,196,0.253,0.69,0.057,-0.9923,0,0,0,0,0,3,19.0,0,0,0,2,12,14,1,2,7,0,23,3,1,3,1,30,40,18,1,3,4,0,1,1,1,1,2,0,0,1,7,8,0,4,9,0,0,1,7,10,0,0,9,1,18,4,15,30,4,21,0,4,0,0,2,8,0,2,13,98,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10108601019732476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13966006614798016,0.1143014450163975,0.12411520596696285,0.0906146856763084,0.164170480430616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09586592140850114,0.0,0.2560613003003155,0.0,0.15427357190563282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15211892406588298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09818086706628763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14540665978050354,0.0,0.16727077808279933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148453860406886,0.0,0.15532530879704473,0.0,0.08448031201444213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331597699674027,0.0,0.15255614471175322,0.15800629937931626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15913118792040828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24507982144928786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07262210031305764,0.0,0.0,0.13154915738320572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14065471139795654,0.0,0.0,0.14933729872393098,0.1619216866955982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2261076149555661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16097173283528882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19045594435682828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16838966130299626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15507270147931812,0.0,0.0,0.24592698715108666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12594930796748405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2485534389016885,0.1702762413616779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11176509819216816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09524789333943404,0.0,0.11801022637745813,0.08667807814745614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15474822803262686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08767667838409587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10821780647869952,0.0,0.0,0.10559555929241043,0.0,0.0,0.09572469675342153
bipolarreddit,jxkg22,2020/02/05,"My first post on this sub and could do with some help? Hey, 

I was recently screened and all my symptoms pointed to me having bipolar disorder.. I’m currently awaiting a further assessment. People  in my family have pointed this out to me more than once or twice. I can kind of control it though, and I thought it was totally normal what I was experiencing but this was up until the past few years (undiagnosed) in particular the past 12 months, I’ve been really struggling with my mental health and of course my mood swings. They are really starting to affect me, and affect my decision making. The one thing that is affecting me the most is when I’m meant to be in an environment that is relaxing but people in my ‘safe’ zone are arguing, I get real bad anxiety and anxiety attacks too and this leads me to a real manic phase, it makes me have a million thoughts racing through my head, it makes me want to get up and move around really fast and start cleaning up and just doing things that are totally random like a totally different burst of energy... I’ve even randomly downloaded something to learn computer programming on. I was wondering if anyone else experiences this? I only feel like this way when my body goes into the fight or flight mode. For the most part my mood is really low, like low to the point of not being able to get out of bed. During my manic phase where I feel like doing things, I often break down because I can’t even fathom what is happening to my body and brain and I don’t like not feeling neutral because when I feel high I also feel low too. I’ve had about 4 of these phases in the past 3/4 months as I’m going through a stressful time and it doesn’t help when I can hear arguing or anything that triggers my phase. 

I was wondering if anyone with bpd can give me any insight on this? ie personal experience on the situation, things I can do to cope or whatever. Any help would be really truly appreciated as im kind of having that phase tonight and i know I’m not going to be able to sleep which I hate! I just need something to calm me down but I know I’m going to go through this for about a week now I’ve been triggered. I can’t cope anymore it’s so stressful to feel this way",5.4939208754208755,5.822837122727275,6.454191919191921,77.81471380471379,67.54545454545455,10.063973063973068,30.841750841750844,9.994966539143718,2.894854377104377,1754,64,344,39,27,585,208,440,0.115,0.7879999999999999,0.096,-0.8658,2,0,2,0,1,0,33.0,0,0,1,3,19,24,5,3,16,0,39,8,5,10,4,79,75,33,0,7,14,0,6,5,0,1,3,1,2,1,28,21,0,2,16,1,0,6,7,12,0,4,12,9,44,10,55,57,10,58,0,3,1,0,11,27,0,14,26,238,72,4,0.1559537093181337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06235806249859412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10605387021689666,0.0,0.11930416076429858,0.0,0.07733208681590399,0.1090464596595932,0.07989650247657183,0.06416830732580563,0.06941593269978673,0.0,0.08870992927892728,0.0,0.0,0.06510741654492579,0.09506793369033796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17322941380534046,0.09820911873389132,0.08704795829367963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08745767300667677,0.062258173410853226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0814692165912237,0.08936823103716075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06513965629620316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10300595417016488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525526528837329,0.07350963881022231,0.0,0.2365646439477305,0.11141336109789927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0663270727385076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222190645501196,0.07480250431696192,0.17726417392027394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06895467505249563,0.0,0.0,0.07698600037774551,0.08002674920331639,0.08288575014047593,0.08788558238594409,0.0,0.15679872598926126,0.0823868281737035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08422838392723304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16240178945146486,0.08570808009939919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1904777621167626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561504679553805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07858232914439088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12448076289255895,0.08287705608877491,0.0,0.057818849688560325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07640076151201045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08304280532267512,0.05283913477384399,0.05930491173986476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0844413348067549,0.2233131931112889,0.10811866563791683,0.0680863817808027,0.0,0.0,0.22113999599891265,0.0,0.07468027196988762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17750946381610316,0.2497698490303819,0.0,0.07699273677798897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08764925173892897,0.07803316861094357,0.0,0.0,0.12006078464197377,0.0,0.0,0.11038483814471174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17864444711133998,0.08151833907993884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08104780879516929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20721742948444466,0.0,0.07661186379241748,0.12380982500022306,0.04546893102495611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045992769188557686,0.12378879540908268,0.06254832931613746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16912514521567254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05539252028454423,0.0,0.0,0.05021453782883512
bipolarreddit,kyeur,2020/02/05,"Kind of Confused I am 19 year old male and have really witnessed my mental state deteriorate over the past couple years.

I guess it started around when I was 16 when I started feeling immense sadness, didn't want to wake up from bed, lost all interests and had no passion. But I also had these somewhat short crazy episodes where I would feel extreme happiness, like completely elated, a point where it could turn into rage at any second. I'd shift from being completely dead to being more than the life of the party in a minute. I thought wow this is how people always feel so I should aim for this always but I always found myself in the depressive state, hoping for something to elevate me. Overall it was all manageable where my parents didn't really notice too much and my school and extra curricular were good. 

In more recent times, I'm mostly very sad all day, I want to talk to people but want to be left alone, I want to party all night but really just stay in. Honestly I feel like my brain is at war with itself. I hit extreme happiness sometimes but i can't control when it hits and how extreme it is. I can't focus in class and have no motivation to so naturally my academics have suffered really badly, social life is basically non existent and don't really a see a solid future for myself right now. 

I also have some kind of I guess OCD tendencies where I keep track of the most nonsense things and stupid rituals that I HAVE to follow or my day wouldn't go right (balance my fidgeting and facial movements, do certain things with certain hands, etc.) . I only find solace when I can get myself to sleep or I'm completely distracted (maybe when I work out or watch something engaging). But by the time I go to bed I find myself closing my eyes thinking 'god please let me rest' cuz I'm just so exhausted from my brain's hyperactivity. 

After reading some of the posts, I observe that most of the experiences I read are very extreme compared to what I experience, like the 'manics' I have are not that crazy I still have somewhat control of myself. 

I'm not sure what is wrong with me and i don't want to self-diagnose and throw the word 'bipolar' around because it wouldn't be appropriate, but to anyone reading who's been diagnosed or can relate to anything I've written above, what can you advise?",5.701605845059537,6.546224186098659,6.361742693675582,76.84428251121079,67.2286995515695,9.111365393536417,30.625947116128028,9.223106411051027,2.656801855574454,1841,68,334,33,29,603,229,446,0.157,0.726,0.11699999999999999,-0.9511,1,1,2,0,0,0,36.0,0,1,0,5,23,30,3,2,14,0,41,13,7,6,7,79,73,35,2,11,15,1,5,3,0,4,5,0,2,1,19,19,0,3,10,3,0,5,12,13,0,1,12,8,48,17,47,49,17,53,1,5,3,1,7,23,0,15,24,235,67,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08336597730312316,0.0,0.1287396811934566,0.20092867875980852,0.0,0.0,0.05473767502543603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05628224278202863,0.0,0.06623848702831497,0.14331081960281336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06720789352228751,0.04906749418044664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17971254959248098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531846329969937,0.0,0.18055841521783947,0.06426672891561443,0.08906344437174002,0.0,0.10382203515262294,0.0,0.06932809107347769,0.16339643053127811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0897704390364287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574742632350917,0.0,0.0,0.16279775019288012,0.05750387365209745,0.0,0.0,0.14713741334766556,0.0,0.0,0.0882558955009266,0.0,0.0,0.04205402043053008,0.0,0.09149151017172806,0.06751330833815251,0.0,0.0,0.17734317512431114,0.0,0.0,0.1713715724020543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07994723618258588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07154545177760753,0.0,0.16764114984890535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0874553604460528,0.08230905706856141,0.11370849717816515,0.11797374094123565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08786709599782737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08086555707135161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08111752992418772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05917126510612735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0755367789897808,0.0,0.0,0.09164126956219182,0.08446336132218986,0.0,0.0,0.06121818995553624,0.0,0.0,0.08937741980341624,0.0,0.07683921997012096,0.1116067593152141,0.0,0.0,0.08835661747809151,0.07609145057669738,0.0,0.07708958568958685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24154291263768746,0.0,0.2578278529471157,0.0,0.07947665458042005,0.0,0.0,0.1374803476151384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08146272934517809,0.06414211846710649,0.0,0.08397125499682657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08055065252961162,0.08205198930568866,0.0,0.12393415157015525,0.07960916224174637,0.0,0.11394604243566647,0.08579431836054538,0.0642814318803323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07586324920005141,0.0,0.0,0.06469684001469203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10695130966487462,0.05157635781938609,0.0,0.06390207120172199,0.0938716735224429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08755274970131055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13282952067613973,0.23738287421424625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05859951452662385,0.0,0.0,0.057179578038486015,0.08800593665290195,0.0,0.10366908996742397
bipolarreddit,Dat_Way_2,2020/02/05,I'm worried about someone... They are bipolar. Is it common for them to disappear for days at a time? Normally we communicate daily but she hasn't responded in days,1.5735483870967748,4.274166354838711,3.9570322580645154,77.73554838709677,95.12903225806451,7.6412903225806454,28.780645161290327,8.238735603445708,3.2664787096774197,131,7,22,4,5,45,29,31,0.105,0.895,0.0,-0.2617,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,3,4,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,6,4,0,7,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,4,16,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5941400755715394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4513223256639217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39029266216048797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2685986800329162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4677949507053373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,whoistherat,2020/02/05,"Trying to learn about bipolar ? I started to think if someone you know took the time to learn about bipolar to understand you better?

For me it is love when someone do that just to understand me better and find ways to be there and help.
I got my diagnosis around when I was 30 years old and now I am 35.
In my younger days I was a mess full blown mania highs and lows but back then I just ride with it where ever it took me and most of the times it destroyed my life and later I need to build it up again.
The relationship with my parents was hard, they didn't know why I did the stuff that I did and always found myself the bad places in life

My father where often furious and didn't now how to handle me so it turned into anger, fights, arguments and called me lazy, alcoholic, and drug user and did not support anything I did but I understand him cause I didn't even know what where bwrong with me.i often drank alot when the mania started to end and I wanted to get that buzz again and keep on flying.
I will keep it short. 
But when I got my diagnosis the first one to look it up, study and found out more about bipolar was my father and it changed everything and for the first time he told me he loved me. 

So have you ever had family or friends that took the time to learn more how Bipolar works?",6.151894060995183,5.1762209176030005,6.12276350989834,85.13367977528092,66.41573033707866,9.276511503477796,28.434724451578393,8.192908349453996,1.5697353665061526,1023,25,225,11,14,323,136,267,0.131,0.8059999999999999,0.062,-0.9675,1,0,2,0,1,0,16.0,0,3,1,5,28,13,4,0,11,0,18,11,0,3,2,56,46,30,0,3,8,3,1,0,1,1,8,0,0,0,15,22,2,2,13,0,0,4,4,7,0,3,21,2,35,6,29,23,5,46,0,1,1,2,18,16,0,6,25,162,50,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11256859697054628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08764522448698857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08667981745226719,0.09376841349649603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08099432607388278,0.08794838474153305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863163843700504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075564391323038,0.0,0.0,0.10820567351031388,0.11142800463203548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06793086208857171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12215246329077463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09329348657358026,0.0,0.0,0.06957123910588046,0.1905588717687728,0.0,0.0,0.09466621733131064,0.0,0.0992982725989674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09627215763489998,0.17919184085458986,0.0,0.2309836849937873,0.08137976421668207,0.0,0.055031975783112815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16848832669869265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09435738828249997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07060227242964544,0.11128975539761543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18724904441045068,0.0,0.0,0.17366425218635628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14879916828356524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08845291915818312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19013370517009145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07810284461546006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11052892463686073,0.0,0.07137614731331136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11695947145657275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11005022754070018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11308787440946605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17849606917628805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14911002048567046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12058071343966913,0.0,0.11953027251736315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06749292565704497,0.0,0.0,0.2456813218389467,0.0,0.0,0.10064988588539496,0.3510854363044784,0.07151397281023415,0.11457170448820099,0.0,0.3289650915305248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062127941401770276,0.08360817540515217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950463566730974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07668344266057807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06783078989996946
bipolarreddit,IDreamofRaven22,2020/02/05,"Meds question Hi new here, so I genuinely appreciate and responses I get. I’m bipolar and have been on depakote er for 7 years. I most recently had a 500 mg increase that now takes me to 1500 mg a day . Two weeks have passed and I am still feeling tired, lethargic, and depressed... no will or energy to do anything. my doctor suggested to add abilify. Has anyone tired this interaction. Should I wait a bit longer or add ask to add the abilify ?  I’m terrified of side effects .",2.7258937198067628,5.0798378695652175,4.429275362318844,81.51379227053141,77.91304347826087,8.43671497584541,29.78743961352657,9.150863307647796,2.951438164251208,372,18,71,10,9,125,70,92,0.149,0.757,0.09300000000000001,-0.7447,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,4,0,9,4,0,1,0,15,16,7,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,2,7,0,1,3,0,0,2,1,1,1,1,2,1,7,0,7,12,3,11,0,1,0,0,5,2,0,4,7,42,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16099890620261448,0.0,0.1894793709869711,0.0,0.215256348806149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2513776636160308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14849474073054345,0.0,0.19831737827457696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2356746608943907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164233087459217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12029817853846556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2557602166254861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22238068685591855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2579371051789713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22734798443704515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18388109126980215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17312230493304376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.529286056999823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22492463893817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846958193073835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14827598605492262
bipolarreddit,lunasolsun,2020/02/06,Weight gain and risperidone Does anyone have any experience with risperidal and weight gain? Ive been on it for two months now and have gained about 20 pounds and my appetite is insane. I’m wondering if this is something that eventually goes away or just continues to worsen?,6.0150000000000015,8.291543100000002,5.097000000000001,80.78350000000002,68.0,8.200000000000001,28.5,8.841846274778883,2.2876000000000003,225,8,39,4,4,67,42,50,0.102,0.732,0.166,0.5803,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,0,9,8,6,0,1,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,5,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,2,0,6,7,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,3,25,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18971781195179027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19507119999861294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2621134429474031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2441396526755415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2728986264560829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22268134032041506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2147745227675944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2725255733831256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6794515734927776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3025448522597546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,019ber,2020/02/06,"Is it possible to stop an episode? Idk if this makes sense, english is not my first language. 

Im thinking about how something can trigger a hypomanic, manic or depressive phase, and if its possible to do the opposite. 

Do you have any tips to cut these phases short?",3.3520000000000003,5.9358422,4.3580000000000005,81.62900000000002,77.0,8.0,32.0,8.841846274778883,3.1002,210,11,38,5,5,68,44,50,0.16399999999999998,0.836,0.0,-0.7691,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,1,2,2,1,0,3,0,6,0,0,3,0,10,8,5,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,2,0,4,8,0,3,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,3,2,26,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2116237198745872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2680323656047838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.264702869072269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3361447137997249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20772551924974667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7016526963597162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23957362239617924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26017350583586635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1994016131348153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MonstranceClock666,2020/02/06,"I’ve taken codeine with lithium, now worrying! Dr google said it’s one of the drugs that can have moderate interaction. Shall I wait till the morning? It says it can cause serotonin syndrome which i already have all the symptoms of anyway as i have a virus so worried I might something! Does anyone else take codiene with lithium and it’s all fine?",3.2661038961038966,6.0059735757575785,3.6416883116883128,85.7468181818182,78.39393939393939,6.195670995670996,30.640692640692638,7.447530270364453,2.1481238095238093,280,14,50,4,7,87,49,66,0.099,0.873,0.028999999999999998,-0.6608,0,0,2,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,4,0,7,3,0,1,2,8,11,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,2,0,0,6,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,4,1,6,7,2,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,34,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27497357441167225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17423070608222269,0.2553118016568002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2559739380903324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.218056914955312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28896679870481995,0.0,0.2081558327683376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2643379570071955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16884912704473412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370248695819576,0.19815595427580665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19182901807410044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2589908374261841,0.18735047422686316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5061037060571649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Inebni32,2020/02/06,"Oxcarbazepine, in your experience did side effects diminish with time? I'm on my 5th day of oxcarbazepine and my thinking is seriously impaired. Talking or going about my day I'm perfectly functional. But when I'm just thinking in my head I feel like I'm wading through sludge. My inner monologue sounds like a 6 year old learning how to read. It's pretty concerning to me, will it improve with time? I'd really like for it to work because I'm sleeping great.",3.873409090909093,6.231544068181822,5.0590909090909095,78.38363636363641,74.22727272727272,8.49090909090909,32.59090909090909,9.188382445141503,3.328177272727273,370,19,65,9,8,122,62,88,0.018000000000000002,0.745,0.237,0.9664,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,3,4,6,0,0,1,0,3,2,2,2,1,13,12,5,0,0,3,0,1,3,0,1,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,5,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,2,8,5,12,10,0,13,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,1,10,33,11,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451421016214253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3071065402534893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329051635811363,0.0,0.0,0.12038931270536775,0.17009699012843205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13531636665618027,0.0,0.0,0.2625034709701136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443568533451896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34896741686833505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2498434040105867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24223088120434666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2381620565546419,0.0,0.15253143474441647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2382695752126665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1913738511582588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3051266869408405,0.0,0.0,0.27767327851841084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17333790596909604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533270634905241
bipolarreddit,emma_dailey,2020/02/06,"Derealization/Depersonalization - anyone else? Hey y'all. New to Reddit. So, I am bipolar, and I can trace the symptoms back to when I was 14. (maybe even as a little child but that's speculation, as it's hard to diagnose as a kid). 

ULTIMATELY - right now I am struggling with my frequent feelings of derealization/depersonalization. Things around me seem like they are made of cardboard. I lose touch with myself in a way I don't yet know how to describe. I feel like I am trapped, and typically this leads to an existential crisis/panic. Everything seems staged and fake, and I flip out about my existence and what it is - and what death is.  And it makes me want to slam my head against the wall and just, knock out. (not die, just... forced sleep for a short brief moment) Hear me out, I am terrified of death, but wow a 3 month coma sound so appealing *sometimes*. 

Anyone feel anything similar?",3.5030613772455084,5.975359886227543,4.520145958083834,81.2457279191617,75.88622754491018,7.528293413173653,25.40755988023952,8.472884824447931,1.7905092814371262,699,25,135,14,16,227,113,167,0.248,0.682,0.07,-0.9897,0,1,0,0,0,0,37.0,0,1,1,2,12,6,0,1,8,0,10,6,2,4,0,30,20,17,3,1,5,0,5,2,0,0,4,2,0,2,8,14,0,0,6,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,2,7,19,3,22,18,0,21,0,1,0,0,6,9,0,2,10,88,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2468184015841004,0.1808396814989375,0.14524010312625812,0.15711770567256175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357135330619553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17913840944676698,0.18317363790455532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14743867794475554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11657308747707044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15862205957394634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2677230763509433,0.12608785185295338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15810458775390765,0.0,0.18113448509922864,0.0,0.1989223587313243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09699687362163126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17245279463353916,0.17689406030062266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1974524282575055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16700355645449555,0.11781158547059635,0.0,0.17731265273895547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408763889310178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1704596849989682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15072551292514375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3213482998157423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17662216643455522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17455777528317729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845105858026924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18344557614399948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11725523892608385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10410114928061863,0.14009328093854864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bipolar---bear,2020/02/06,"Would love to discuss the ""Spiritual"" side of Mania/Psychosis with you. I have been recently ""diagnosed"" with BD1 but had been on a sort of journey to get there. Starting with working on insecurities, and ""discovering"" depression. CBT, yoga and meditation, addiction, pondering on religion/spirituality, acquiring general knowledge of how things work, and guidance from great mental health proffessionals and my wife led me to the ""discovery"" of mania and my current diagnosis.

I recently had a manic episode lasting about 2 weeks that ended on a psychotic episode. The build-up to psychosis was fast went through things like ""understanding yoga"", ""learning techniques to influence interactions between people through Sound and movement"", "" learning to communicate with babies and animals through frequencies and vibrations"" and so on. 

One night, after a full day of meditation and yoga, trying to calm myself down as I tried in vain to sleep, I had an EXPERIENCE.

After the episode, it took time to distinguish what was real and what was not but I think I have been successful. Except I can't shake the feeling and idea that this moment, which was the least physical and which I know happened all in my brain was profoundly true and real.

I'm not talking about Messianic complexes (been there). I think I'm talking about what the mystics and phylosophers have talked about forever.

Anyway, I dont know People with this disorder and would really appreciate hearing your perspectives, either on the disorder itself, or similar experiences you may have had and how you dealt with them, as I am still in the education/discovery ohase of this thing.

Much love.",10.343119047619048,10.627453264285718,9.72714285714286,58.57119047619051,57.42857142857143,13.752380952380953,43.66666666666667,12.913307274991677,6.275316666666668,1334,70,193,44,15,428,162,280,0.075,0.8079999999999999,0.11699999999999999,0.9265,1,0,0,0,0,0,50.0,0,4,1,4,11,11,0,2,14,0,23,7,2,4,2,56,39,25,0,2,7,1,1,1,0,3,3,2,0,0,15,23,0,0,13,3,0,6,4,4,0,1,15,3,21,7,45,21,5,33,0,1,0,2,14,12,0,3,16,153,36,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13474513755029882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13798143997537926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07971348658743152,0.0,0.10645878497361122,0.1254540922304408,0.0,0.0,0.2833187003641683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14486139021582306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10947526443844333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24181422665820304,0.0,0.0,0.062497215824112676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06457728532500144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13627236264690798,0.0,0.0,0.10930141893366532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13138384152834004,0.13930917448718466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13953235166158284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13585757255490866,0.10075266022589732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060386013446720774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22311244242908754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12456240381171055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09086217276447743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11599271792366805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08375635736969947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17138103483834966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2813737611624346,0.07918302532811385,0.0,0.24408541903833744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1236919185910571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08748659484505328,0.0,0.09870923933404144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2980413944599929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463483337408985,0.1583991799513606,0.0,0.0,0.07207370166911968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373270967836371,0.16783617746495766,0.0,0.0,0.12867472213763873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09914659362804967,0.0,0.0,0.11458089879542535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17996840876336906,0.0,0.0,0.17560755846657844,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,peachspresso,2020/02/06,"Why am I this tired most of the time though? I woke up this morning and almost had to crawl to the shower.
It isn’t lack of sleep, it’s not that kind of tired.

I was dizzy and sweating.
It improved a little after a while but I’m still kinda dizzy. This is most mornings.
I’m taking lithium and only 600mg.
I’m waiting for results on my thyroid, I also have anxiety, possible ptsd, on and off eating disorder...

I’m exhausted some of the time I just hardly ever know what it is. I don’t know if it’s a side effect, something that always happens to everyone or if it’s just mental illness related and I just have to deal with it.
I get nauseous/dizzy kind of tired and it’s happened on and off since before taking lithium but it’s worse now",1.3307956989247351,3.2999994129032286,3.4374193548387133,88.82279569892475,80.67741935483872,5.681720430107527,23.23655913978495,6.742157984588678,0.7647978494623655,579,20,119,6,15,197,88,155,0.183,0.8029999999999999,0.013999999999999999,-0.973,1,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,1,8,3,0,0,6,0,9,9,2,2,1,29,22,15,0,3,9,0,1,0,0,0,6,0,1,0,15,8,1,1,3,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,1,9,2,18,19,4,15,0,0,0,0,1,8,0,8,7,83,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492264752770518,0.0,0.0,0.11917481091441624,0.12400029307980368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11400330791795325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12680884364557032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15363767989513724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17079494790027533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524892318149942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13480116051156024,0.0,0.14239926272412692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07785913226658121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2635636846873313,0.0,0.13349664935836647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3103720958372865,0.16379989740562928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14936166418071764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501816099114423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11333982102240375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16800269308406354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17420162489378882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232745775225691,0.0,0.14913208880522258,0.0,0.0,0.11472631392505382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11901113034659115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22409570289158245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14641578034064487,0.0,0.1737947280675035,0.5138451008087738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344714004969124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15186866147225286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,babydoll3714,2020/02/06,"Quit job had an episode now I'm applying to part time jobs and work from home jobs Idk if this counts as Bipolar since I was diagnosed with cyclothymia mild bipolar but that was two years ago and two years ago I left college due to a suicidal attempt. I don't have health insurance and Idk of my cyclothymia is getting better or worse and turning into full on Bipolar. Because just four months (and for four months straight) I feel like I was in Hypomania state. I was waking up religiously at 4 am praying and listening to motivational speakers and achieving achieving achieving! It wld take me two hours to get to work but I didn't care bc I just knew I was gonna achieve all my goals. I did this for four months straight I was positive for four months straight and then com the middle of January reality started to set in and my depression state is back. I don't take meds but I stopped doing my routine. Like working out, etc (too tired to elaborate). I don't know what to do I was homeless for months ago bc I come from a toxic narcissistic family so I decided to leave and then I got my own place. I just wish I cld afford healthcare and dental care. This really sucks. I read on this one mental health website that ppl who struggle with bipolar do a lot of work from home jobs if they can't get a disability statement. I am also pursuing my Payroll Accounting Certification and I also want to get a business management degree plus I LOVE TO SING and I can sing very well and have been trained in opera since 16 but my mental illness I constantly have to battle. I guess this is just me ranting.",2.943333333333335,5.266302611464969,3.937222929936308,85.47693842887473,77.02547770700637,7.11660297239915,28.30106157112527,8.131152278815165,2.012415201698514,1276,56,249,23,30,411,170,314,0.14,0.745,0.114,-0.8281,5,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,13,11,11,2,1,7,0,27,11,1,1,1,43,50,28,1,4,11,0,1,2,0,1,9,2,2,0,10,20,0,1,6,4,1,1,5,4,1,8,13,3,37,7,35,36,6,40,1,1,0,1,4,16,1,5,22,164,47,19,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2433234026947142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1463424567945154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07035661306271547,0.0,0.055776568502813074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08092288927998602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18657741068406197,0.0,0.0,0.0788177600562292,0.0,0.0988772528019066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07880742812560504,0.09286893851892247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020448899230377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08625653773165197,0.0,0.04626433455285109,0.06536646717963958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19121652658569166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07317961999159597,0.0,0.10079579078820486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19451701709120714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18356068840582607,0.0,0.0901074819365982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3631921294632649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05028512154771474,0.0,0.0,0.0968835823239186,0.09941326705860876,0.0,0.0,0.08940298192721033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07778865807143594,0.082580868150134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10163408302622776,0.0,0.18441771034635146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3651657046304824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06200167618962803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09908383852454797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09559634176697653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09731979915679864,0.09152314947760076,0.0,0.058616210760437534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15137682532522842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06476303047150578,0.0,0.0,0.0764967499916763,0.0,0.09565398231411988,0.0,0.10008438646386768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13759080239614999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05335344626977832,0.10516393787020333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09952397249727138,0.26814189161358776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07549575317564235,0.05396812030511986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08226803996876544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105218631438109,0.0,0.0,0.26644766689783905,0.0,0.09324467502576746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11784392487881637
bipolarreddit,moodistry,2020/02/06,"How I'm focusing my hypomanic energy I surfaced from a two year long depression a couple of months ago, and entered into a hypomanic period.  

I've realized that the best thing I can do with all my energy is to fortify myself against another depression.  I'm learning more about bipolar than ever before (I've been diagnosed bipolar 2 for 15 years) and writing down perspectives and strategies that I hope will have meaning next time I'm depressed, especially if I get suicidal.  I'm making life-style changes and really trying to do it in a way that they'll stick.  I'm educating friends about my mood patterns.  I'm hanging out here.

I feel like this energy is a gift - that I'm above water right now, but that the time is limited, and that it is urgent that I build a raft.",6.245733333333334,6.5705473066666675,7.587333333333337,70.35033333333337,65.93333333333334,11.733333333333334,35.333333333333336,11.429527900616536,4.363933333333334,616,28,111,19,9,212,98,150,0.086,0.7929999999999999,0.121,0.2659,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,2,6,8,0,0,8,0,11,4,0,2,2,21,23,8,1,2,2,0,1,1,1,2,3,0,0,0,11,8,1,1,4,0,0,2,0,3,0,1,1,1,11,4,14,20,3,20,0,3,0,0,3,6,0,2,12,69,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619379618873207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19155965111994003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554502623843865,0.0,0.1917151355350296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19325499357968184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20213589498146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4720352722269121,0.18541997760809584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16524774746634036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09237030177851367,0.13050917856996444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14114087264817984,0.0,0.09544462509010107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18144600459881624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12903480774991374,0.08924996436597946,0.0,0.0,0.16166921031220458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12194270121854366,0.0,0.0,0.1989959627353687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458162822912691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942860486888563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170317725173226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560107702075687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19982617431628286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12136684613450875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21304851698377789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240301520424604,0.0,0.17845530246424804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14500571426804734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23528445851492205
bipolarreddit,MC1Rpositive,2020/02/06,"I think my boyfriend is manic He's been on meds and in therapy and doing so well. But tonight, out of nowhere, he lost it. Can he still be manic even with his mood stabilizer?",0.8633333333333333,3.1244908888888894,2.342222222222226,94.30000000000004,84.55555555555556,5.822222222222222,22.88888888888889,7.1686216300943375,0.6903555555555552,136,5,31,2,4,44,32,36,0.0,0.872,0.128,0.5723,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,6,7,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,3,1,5,4,0,5,0,1,0,0,4,3,0,0,2,21,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2690563725119777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4446797996930002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4524833352239468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3253169338068507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4658498168010313,0.0,0.0,0.2610188057721426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3662641113985124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,aduncecapforjunior,2020/02/06,"do I have brain damage? what happened to my mind? I'm a 22 year old college student with bipolar 1. I left school February 2019 when had my first psychotic episode of mania and had to be institutionalized. After a few days of thrashing around and screaming(between ativan injections) I suddenly snapped out of it. My thought process was fuzzy for about a week, but then I seemed to return to normal. I went home and relaxed for a couple weeks before going back to school to visit my friends at school and to inquire into the process of re-enrollment. The moment I returned to campus paranoid thoughts materialized, and I spiraled into another manic episode. This time I didn't return to normal.

I saw a psychiatrist who increased my medication(which at this time was 20mg olanzapine with no mood stabilizer) and couple of weeks went by. The paranoia quickly abated, but I didn't snap back into my normal state. I found it difficult to think about anything outside my immediate physical surroundings and discovered I couldn't read. Speaking had become very difficult. I also lost my ability to draw(which has always been my biggest passion) as if the muscle memory had dissolved or something. I went to a treatment center for a few months, and gradually regained the ability to speak in complete sentences, but everything else remained totally impaired. After a few med changes, I got put on Vraylar 3mg(which I hear is a great antispsychotic with almost no side effects), and 100mg Lamictal. Months went by and I still couldn't draw, and could barely read and for this latter reason didn't return to school in the fall. My psychiatrist said that recovery from psychosis can take a long time, but none of the people I met in treatment experienced this kind of general impairment of all mental faculties.

This past November I decided that even if I wasn't fully present mentally(or even 75% present mentally), that I would benefit from returning to school by being with my friends and experiencing the healthy stressors of a reduced academic course load. I got re-enrolled and returned to school this January, but being barely able to read has made things very, very difficult and frustrating. At home this past year I'd found a rhythm of behavior in which I was able to accept myself and stay present in the moment, and I'm working to establish something like that here at college, but it's tough. I think a big part of why I was able to accept myself this past year was because I believed I was going to return to normal, to regain my ability to think, speak, write, and draw. Now I'm not so sure. I've only experienced progress in the speaking department. My thoughts don't flow. I can't remember the previous sentence in the book I'm reading. I can't think about anything in depth. I can't keep up with the speed of dialogue in movies. I can't draw like I used to(the activity feels pretty foreign to me even though I've been drawing almost every day this past year). What's going on? I'm starting to really wonder if this is what the rest of my life is going to be like. I'm really grateful for my friends and my family, and getting to go to college, but this is just unbearable.

Is this brain damage? Is this just what bipolar one is like?

Has anyone else experienced this slow agonizing recovery from psychosis/mania?

Have you recovered? How long did it take?

Thanks so much for reading my post. I'd really appreciate any insight/ideas/feeback/etc!",6.530867705133829,7.8722984952830215,6.802271464092442,72.63753620008778,65.6194968553459,9.87854322071084,35.388181951148155,10.043921644272036,3.810866286382916,2777,131,462,63,43,896,293,636,0.07400000000000001,0.795,0.131,0.9906,0,0,2,0,0,0,78.0,0,1,0,5,21,25,1,0,27,0,44,6,2,5,3,83,87,39,0,11,14,0,1,4,3,1,3,6,2,0,29,30,0,1,19,7,0,15,15,8,0,2,33,12,53,16,86,46,10,94,0,3,1,1,14,28,0,8,52,302,82,19,0.18230646499766046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12170239372056565,0.0,0.0,0.048596804731039125,0.050564527714823435,0.0,0.0,0.04132488258449088,0.06372140804785126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042490973054269125,0.06226483912380185,0.100015124783705,0.05409713502100138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09345494565112973,0.0,0.03704410965171415,0.06711438916613023,0.05170979140246483,0.06846565227987049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356762048701869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06428535566430635,0.0,0.06371495334146739,0.0,0.0,0.048518959296187526,0.13447909066368585,0.0,0.07838172539062553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10152910563393328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0677732996700121,0.12041170075773415,0.0,0.05120035319129683,0.0,0.05461509851705811,0.0,0.057287436779969364,0.0,0.030726542133063764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05168992866523638,0.0,0.13325975271218918,0.14084952262645298,0.0,0.03174920117980646,0.0,0.17268160885384154,0.0,0.09720475604743348,0.06699784041942658,0.0,0.0,0.0537376683070282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06849087856088643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12191216583549068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05401412085533558,0.0,0.06328137640679661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06602550254715847,0.0,0.04292281589017999,0.11875430685682163,0.0,0.0,0.10755698978202542,0.0,0.0,0.06633634737798183,0.0,0.0,0.0575009283889002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06750046152059565,0.0,0.12248135851963984,0.0,0.061359186638781274,0.0,0.09701018737066844,0.0,0.04467207607466365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2381621711601811,0.0,0.0,0.06376665592225014,0.0,0.04117852627027094,0.046217427224886816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06580671198571446,0.23204286566234705,0.04212944943490516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058199733102088376,0.0618237384199525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06108945023538494,0.0,0.0,0.3039263328603187,0.0,0.11679018970133245,0.06248046970548795,0.0,0.0,0.0688392287736436,0.0,0.057805065324396526,0.0,0.0,0.3690077509105707,0.0,0.05532165292729737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09356561562881917,0.0,0.0,0.04301248475052328,0.06477147834683221,0.048530059480664266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057273895250634525,0.0,0.09138118223915573,0.0,0.0,0.055947766441270655,0.0,0.0,0.04037210488118701,0.15575282874410612,0.059705058746573725,0.14473096937839305,0.10630436580989164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05248475069267285,0.0,0.15042192630062165,0.0,0.0,0.14623524966467286,0.0,0.0,0.2253332260041962,0.05483440956789723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06590119487227471,0.044240425925938534,0.0,0.0,0.04316842736877543,0.0,0.0,0.15653251507500213
bipolarreddit,angelicpickle,2020/02/06,"Has anyone diagnosed bipolar actually ended up in reality being autistic? I've been diagnosed with BPD. A few years ago when I had a manic episode I was brought to the hospital for a few months until doctors could get me settled. During that time I went from being diagnosed as schizophrenic and borderline/ multiple personality disorder then finally fell on to the bipolar diagnosis. I had been doing some research of my own that correlates heavily with autism the struck more of a chord with me. I have always had issues socially. Since I was very young, for example, I remember not quite understanding how to mesh with other people, and mimicking what I thought was normal behaviour, except with very close friends and family. 


My voice patterns changes a lot. I've always been obsessive with and exclusive with what I like, which I know can be common among anyone. I hate when my patterns are disrupted and have melt downs when they are. I don't know how to have normal conversations with people, I never know how to, or feel inclined to start them. When I get excited about something I can become socially unaware and have no filter. I can become enthralled with small things like pouring water between glasses over and over for example. Idk, there are lots of things that have me feeling that this seems like a more appropriate diagnosis, and just that no one has considered it. After entering my twenties and living on my own I have adapted to be able to have somewhat normal interactions with people, but it drains me so much, and I need to retreat often. I dont know what is real or manifested from simply trying to adapt. A lot of the bipolar symptoms really match up too, but so much of it is overlapping. How do you know for sure?


Has anyone else with bipolar disorder felt this way?

Maybe I'm just thinking too much. Antidepressants seem to help a little.",7.076684491978611,8.225244058823531,7.3737433155080225,69.72275401069521,64.29411764705883,10.770053475935832,34.86631016042781,10.735267742514802,4.1091764705882365,1500,66,243,39,22,488,184,340,0.051,0.885,0.064,0.6574,0,0,1,0,0,0,34.0,0,1,2,1,17,8,1,1,12,0,36,11,0,4,2,62,57,27,0,5,8,0,3,3,1,0,10,1,0,1,17,22,1,0,14,0,0,4,6,2,0,1,13,4,31,6,48,39,14,35,0,0,0,0,10,13,0,10,20,194,48,2,0.09520324070531044,0.0,0.09290462969580784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08439192865041377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15843344567883932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1997049584602675,0.09754697070106882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2102889992405362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199051489209036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10071240516699158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07601204094498862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28988785591025035,0.0,0.0,0.21822232374050526,0.097444550968607,0.0,0.0,0.111577489069885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07953009139626191,0.0,0.08432181344597472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08974914246552368,0.0,0.09627523807584573,0.0,0.09141004093892133,0.10429049669502573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07355378760707337,0.0,0.0994795277993426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09399349020869233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06381272544658399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09936744871788496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26160605655900065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13953448352153386,0.09541865797545836,0.08406620574701465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2428151722426491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09564445147376187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0759903184390817,0.0,0.2099560084310257,0.0705919966671049,0.07342660832555635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2798368869877672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06451217978115363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19800581969742312,0.083127797623698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012603652886311,0.0,0.10836213056453446,0.060989633814124526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078467129564916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17333890950891034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0787531045145766,0.0,0.0,0.19409542934451207,0.0,0.07329210590446154,0.0,0.0,0.06738534377960946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08972792768068102,0.09895261976262963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264976056279631,0.061002392505588414,0.0,0.0755807388148352,0.05551377525944768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06463675113405783,0.0,0.0,0.09910993109684138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15710528814365776,0.0,0.07556790112577975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08825435793427668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06130776565336413
bipolarreddit,VWVanGogh,2020/02/06,"Sexuality Preference change during Episodes While I am in my essentially ""normal"" state (medicated) I am totally for my Male partner. So pretty much a loving passionate hetero relationship. I take medication everyday regularly but Mania does still seep through.  When I have manic episodes I became insanely and only attracted to females. Wtf.

I mean its impossible to fantasize males. Its incredibly confusing because I honestly have thought maybe I'm a lesbian because that how intense my want becomes.... but then when things kinda settle down weeks later... I'm super not into it until mania hits again. Is this something that happens?",6.136142857142858,9.769058923809524,7.264404761904764,58.5651785714286,74.04761904761905,9.976190476190476,37.32142857142857,9.928628108626363,5.464571428571428,517,30,63,17,12,173,83,105,0.069,0.728,0.203,0.9244,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,1,6,6,0,1,2,0,5,5,0,1,1,14,14,10,0,3,3,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,3,7,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,10,5,8,12,2,14,0,0,0,3,5,3,0,2,10,46,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26882646773137936,0.2435221732025767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23325712579639804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19295885454396372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1949852175004349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19900760913493312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22151938296132329,0.2401864265080464,0.0,0.4442560821791968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620910386332311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21604074109952684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1676982902992175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22432523520801573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2367318039507661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16974975365242378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1760895941573403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16578668423559315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14648874614790586,0.0,0.0,0.1750503909849514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13005514269845944,0.0,0.17686980015076567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,chadstaxxx,2020/02/06,"What about when you're depressed for actual real reasons? I'm diagnosed bi-polar, usually I tend to the manic side of things but I have had the occasional depression as well. Usually the depression sinks in and there is not much major changes in my life seeming to cause it, more of just a yearly cycle. 

Recently I've been having problems financially and a major new anxiety-inducing stressor within my personal life. And I became depressed very quickly, but I think it's entirely valid due to my circumstances. (Like if I wasn't bi-polar id probably still feel some level of depression right now)

My strategy has been to increase my dose of mood stabilizer (epival) and start taking Seroquel for sleep/mood  (again, after a year off the seroquel)
 This is what my doctor told me to do when I start feeling the downswing.
Also obviously gotta get my problems figured out. 

Has anyone here been in a situation like this? Actual depressing things happening causing depression? I m wondering if the medication is not gonna help me because this isn't my stupid brain, it's the outside world this time. I dunno, but id really appreciate it and love to hear some input.

TL:Dr- for the first time ever I've become depressed due to actual problems. Instead of everything being the same and my brain just being a turd. Any advice/input?",4.47286713286713,6.892480631578947,5.987016930437987,72.13567445712184,72.64372469635627,9.349208686050792,30.255612808244386,9.800150414767053,3.5565319838056686,1064,47,171,30,22,360,147,247,0.19399999999999998,0.7170000000000001,0.08800000000000001,-0.9859,0,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,0,1,15,17,1,0,14,0,16,9,2,3,2,35,33,15,0,5,9,0,2,2,0,2,6,1,0,1,12,7,0,0,7,0,0,1,4,12,1,1,6,3,19,4,24,23,8,32,0,8,0,1,5,10,0,7,23,118,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.2688319325647526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07343462382556233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06244602343761399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06420810255924903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05597734814628713,0.1014165426919373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2050202913929123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1886648024217116,0.09714159062160786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6327288980465702,0.09320324005209593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09398960001802507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08306346313840228,0.0,0.0,0.08252886659921832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09286174576661643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07810864290584439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04797621280462596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08120298194973688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10349655559532134,0.0,0.061550209644013115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12972132039850012,0.08972480701108866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08287813558178186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09250680406625617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06750396698313303,0.0,0.0,0.08868781959842402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08018045515493029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09900585291120237,0.26360028454623063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10452009073491247,0.058827212301302986,0.09441422773905987,0.0906688315198957,0.0,0.0,0.0784204024503858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08359654085507473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10321824591944907,0.09189407356892318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12999231759943214,0.0,0.07333376508843857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06904304490395317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12201256240629067,0.0588395186262388,0.0,0.0,0.1070910067368873,0.0,0.0,0.087745356681902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022706012692908,0.07576751622620805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08256418130871547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09958328498930284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11826812919718635
bipolarreddit,universemessages,2020/02/06,"My mom became homeless on Monday, this is what happened and what I did Context: I have bipolar and my mom has schizophrenia

Around 12 days ago, my mom's toilet broke. My mom continued to defecate into the toilet to the point of it over flowing. It over flowed so much, sewage went into the furnace and the furnace shut off. It's very cold during winter here. My mom lived in this until Monday and thought it was fine because schizophrenia is really great. She barely knows how to use a phone so she wouldn't call plumbers. The house reeks of sewage gas. It's truly a representation of schizophrenia and mental illness and how fucked up it can be.

So, Monday morning, my aunt was in that area for work and decided to check in with my mom. She found her and immediately started notifying family. My uncle went and picked her up and drove her to his city and checked her into a hotel (3+ hr drive, round trip).

I guess my mom's disability benefits got suspended because she didn't inform them she was living in that house. This is a long story I won't get into, but I'll say I've been calling social services relentlessly trying to figure it out for her since October. They've told me nothing, they wouldn't even tell me who her income worker was. I reported all of her behaviour, how sick she was, and how she's been squatting in my grandma's house since September since my grandma passed away.

Once I found out what happened, I started calling social services. I called the office that I have been calling since October because their office deals with the region my mom was living in. Everytime I used to call, they said her income worker was out of the office or couldn't take a call. They also said at one point her income worker worked in another city. On Monday, they finally told me who her income worker was. He was in an entirely different city than either of these. So apparently they lied to me this whole time, only telling me the truth when my mom became completely homeless.

I called this income worker and he wouldn't answer his phone. I left several voice mails. I also pressed 0 to be transferred to their emergency line. The first time I did this, the call didn't go through. The second time, I was put on hold for 30 minutes, and instead of picking up, they hung up on me. The third time, they said there were 22 people in crisis ahead of me and they would call me back once they dealt with those 22 people. Of course, they never called back that day.

I typed up and started sending emails. I sent an email explaining the crisis to this income worker, his supervisor, other supervisors in that city, the supervisor in the city my mom was in, and the ministry of social services (Canada). In the morning, I had an email from my mom's income worker. It had a form attached for my mom to sign for consent of knowing info about her case. My family got my mom to sign it and I emailed it promptly. I then got a flood of info from this income worker, but none of it really mattered. He proved to be of no help to my mom's situation. He just wanted a move form signed so that he could continue giving my mom cheques.

The mental health team, which includes a psychiatric nurse, a therapist, and a social worker, met with my mom yesterday and also proved to be no help. They admitted they had no idea what to do. My mom's psychiatrist refuses to see her in emergency because she has no family doctor currently (despite my mom being his patient for years). My family didn't want to call 911 or take her to the ER. So at this point, I was beside myself. I felt like I was having a heart attack for 24 hours. I took some gravol and went to bed.

This morning, I got an email from my mom's income worker again, answering some of the other questions I had. He really had nothing of value to say so I realized I was on my own here. I asked him to email me the moving form. Then, I called the housing authority in the city my mom was in. I explained the situation and the lady was very nice. She emailed me application forms and other information. I sent this all to my family and started giving orders.

I said there should be someone present at every single appointment my mom has because she presents herself very well to all health workers, and then nothing gets done. Coincidentally, an occupational therapist was going in to say hi to my mom today, so I got my sister to sit in with the appointment. If she didn't sit in on this appointment, we would all be fucked. It ended up being her assessment. Because of my sister being there, my sister was able to bring up the house my mom was in, and my mom explained how it was fine. The occupational therapist then realized my mom's decision making was atrocious and she shouldn't make her own decisions for herself. WOW. FINALLY.

So now we're finally in the process of getting applications filled and finding my mom a home that is accessible for her and suits her needs, so the moving form can be filled out and then go back on her disability benefits.

It's been a gigantic circus the past few days. Honestly, it's been a circus since 2018 when my uncle (who also has schizophrenia) was diagnosed with colorectal cancer and had to start treatments. They had lived together until then, making her live alone. I told everyone my mom needed better housing. No one fucking listened. If I didn't have mental illness and my knowledge about the system, my family would have had no idea what to do.

This is not over though. We still need a letter of recommendation from her psychiatrist so that the application for housing goes faster. Social services said they would reimburse my family for the hotel fees, but I definitely do not believe them. My mom needs to get out of that hotel ASAP.

Anyway, I'm just making this post here in case anyone else is in a similar situation and needs some ideas. Also to vent because I feel like setting things on fire. Holy fucking shit. Constant migraine. Hard to breathe. So fucking tired. So angry about everything. All the fucking effort I've put into this. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. No more energy.",4.765071418679646,6.3484121833046485,5.5418570835064385,79.11929718875504,70.02409638554218,8.302941816527193,27.90021168417513,8.808919509031288,2.21426995469563,4815,169,875,86,87,1568,413,1162,0.10300000000000001,0.8390000000000001,0.057,-0.9963,15,1,0,0,0,0,136.0,2,0,18,18,48,28,13,0,58,0,86,25,3,13,9,143,166,74,0,20,12,32,6,2,0,10,11,10,2,0,54,52,0,2,31,4,5,24,22,15,2,5,69,19,151,13,140,75,22,147,0,1,2,11,163,63,12,9,56,616,205,22,0.02310722274158497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.020483158750375218,0.0,0.0,0.023932113986523274,0.0,0.09239418839017934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02422993780041789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.016157107410605796,0.02367608038400242,0.0,0.02057032725572159,0.021602134017599296,0.02628780173553814,0.021709996408977843,0.05330408389362324,0.0,0.09860163956847977,0.0,0.0,0.02603392716872397,0.0,0.02043646072639357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.306735753500036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.024227483411241747,0.024970698792382527,0.0,0.018449237107328386,0.0,0.0,0.04470674116644071,0.02382253201182839,0.0,0.023453344679491228,0.0,0.024142129643298496,0.0,0.023651221612876604,0.0,0.02364671152102026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.019303119546533742,0.0,0.02046614076196913,0.0,0.0,0.01526210269140892,0.0,0.019468831766130183,0.022079941567860424,0.020767281837813012,0.0,0.15248403177424538,0.0,0.011683706112504208,0.016507804543629722,0.02218655752834301,0.07593849912384554,0.02111958296317246,0.01965499185966197,0.0,0.05067175410014019,0.0,0.23498480587745504,0.0482902806681219,0.044333107213357696,0.03939710157059936,0.0,0.09240478455707672,0.025475794648259827,0.025455210981182686,0.0,0.040867281515217166,0.0,0.020699532855365462,0.0,0.0,0.04912379446371106,0.0,0.027382170205717926,0.030976568648667317,0.0,0.023178428457591018,0.0,0.022755959804897176,0.1866384282607386,0.0,0.07825572556329159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025398250625387864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025106065119553333,0.0,0.0,0.022578043681267614,0.0,0.10202050512382524,0.020449164984408557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06169700244213267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06985993694017953,0.0,0.0,0.7577612000035522,0.0,0.07367796265635128,0.016986467466189897,0.0856685643616452,0.01782171469340652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06651601027738324,0.0,0.0,0.04921687616324009,0.0313161042986458,0.017574084146310856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.022058458743595608,0.032039277556674295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0655313832157235,0.0,0.022130331960109214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046458282226078784,0.025885377806931262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04440923574754113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10990130164005776,0.05512737294035401,0.0,0.0,0.01841346482282964,0.0,0.0,0.026104584488532742,0.023719232084523617,0.0955726671764513,0.0779204595486664,0.0,0.1177745181193458,0.01957867484317291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08177705594358296,0.0,0.01845345793024621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03474751154463948,0.0,0.04039346233643013,0.0,0.0,0.08048779977605211,0.015351412031079485,0.0,0.02270272902182926,0.018344553754991416,0.05389602961592437,0.026558353331667818,0.021902945302385225,0.06623982470358128,0.02567297469088845,0.015688287443599153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03991444268773612,0.0,0.0571976362378265,0.02725847732096833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.020776168310575445,0.06426188094842276,0.0,0.025798388984482043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033644666723136936,0.0,0.0,0.06565883222805256,0.0,0.0,0.014880293845524075
bipolarreddit,ValleyProphet,2020/02/06,"Prophetic beginnings I’m diagnosed with BP1. Prophecy has always been a party of my life, and it is usually spot on. It’s started up again, recently. 

This account is a burner to record what I see and hear.

I’m on as much medication as I can handle, and take care of myself otherwise.

This is almost exciting.",2.6454999999999984,5.05386455,5.026666666666667,76.83500000000002,78.5,8.666666666666666,28.33333333333333,9.2995712137729,3.088833333333333,243,11,43,7,6,85,46,60,0.0,0.85,0.15,0.8319,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,6,3,0,0,0,5,14,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,5,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,4,2,9,13,1,8,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,1,5,31,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3022166783217681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25112806970699075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30771292488738633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3063283234349829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3401590581946442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21317560724945636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30403936794585146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2218632852205075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29799855811637105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2405015525456729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21362094647892246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22692172695340335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3323983915815297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sarmarch,2020/02/07,"Low dose Abilify and manic depression flareup? Anyone else experience this? Hi! I only recently have started taking medications for my diagnosed bipolar 2. I started with Lamictal but got a rash which was probably actually a reaction to antibiotics I was on but we couldn't know for sure so I stopped it - I was only on it for like 2 weeks but I liked it.

Then we switched to Abilify and I'm on about week 3 of that now, first half was 2mg and 2nd half has been 4mg.

I felt fine while on 2 but when we switched to 4 I became kind of unstable. Stayed awake for a full 70 hours last weekend; went out with friends one night until 7 am and did some coke, worked a ton, built a clothing rack (!), etc. Felt really great and even when I did eventually sleep it was for like 4 hours and then I got up and felt totally fine and went about my day productively.

Then yesterday I didn't take my dose in the morning because I think it makes me drowsy and wanted to wait until later, but then at night I had a full fledged emotional breakdown - not sure if that window of missing a dose makes a difference or not.

The guy I'm seeing mentioned he was gonna do molly with his friends and I don't know what about it triggered me but I sobbed for literally hours for no identifiably reason and when I stopped it felt foggy like it was a dream and I couldn't totally collect my memories. I don't wanna say I felt suicidal like I would actually do anything but I definitely had thoughts during and after of like acknowledging that I wouldn't feel this way if I were dead. I feel that way sometimes but I never feel like I'm a danger to myself and can always recognize that I won't feel that way in a couple of days and it'll be all good, which it always is.

I've heard that lower doses of abilify can make you unstable but I guess I just want to hear peoples' experiences and input. If you've experienced this, what dose was the game changer for you?

I feel okay now, albeit a little drained, a little embarrassed about my spiral, a little crazy. I feel like I'm in autopilot. I see my psychiatrist tomorrow so I'll obviously mention it so no worries there.",2.594215861657723,4.6248803488372126,4.3793023255813965,83.30304412641621,76.90697674418605,7.945140131186642,26.141920095408462,8.768130331264683,2.0458825283243893,1690,65,341,38,39,571,209,430,0.157,0.7090000000000001,0.134,-0.9067,1,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,3,2,0,2,15,24,1,1,17,1,32,11,2,5,7,79,72,42,2,10,16,0,11,8,2,5,8,3,1,1,25,23,1,3,17,3,0,2,12,6,0,4,26,17,46,18,41,38,8,56,0,4,2,0,17,16,1,6,42,222,71,1,0.0,0.0,0.15726543546533078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13409506559865114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056342163929599676,0.08256190717220886,0.06630900813692607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04911973411287285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08915826617573343,0.0,0.1039325697578909,0.0,0.06940190154318697,0.0817851956447292,0.0,0.08418708815907855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06731276200649372,0.09063965030894906,0.0,0.0,0.08986601354553014,0.05322115338450329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15764191893073445,0.0,0.0,0.24445661034494395,0.1151301908291397,0.3868386306805292,0.0,0.0,0.0685397915139874,0.0,0.0,0.12450906349904765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06758518669111026,0.1288915246296293,0.0888377703899448,0.0887659921740018,0.0797851048292483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09081750852425008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23805994200322506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08390981488347475,0.08856736319777964,0.06568200272946158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3149315792663772,0.2422816308588931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16135975969673347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08117407790543067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06214688961610468,0.0,0.0,0.15123439913503645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05460188625324573,0.122566732363748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055862790981359316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08687694811671819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05162047011034025,0.08284782892707375,0.07956126976475113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0640790335439782,0.0,0.0,0.12842081533465352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08063641115077859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07969391850096602,0.0,0.11406735561165998,0.08588565967455716,0.0,0.13473399748141693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881394926922987,0.0,0.15188803471158713,0.0,0.1211695844955908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05163126882497701,0.0,0.06397010483452166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09505424199143138,0.19187771777346205,0.12926997299512508,0.0,0.0,0.14939363170265638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058661902768171736,0.08183109227197292,0.0,0.057240454538147974,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Namasteiinbed,2020/02/07,"I was recently diagnosed with BP2 and have a question or two... My doctor put me on Lamotrigine (25g) on Monday, I’ve noticed when I take it in the morning with my Venlafaxine (150mg ) I feel wonderful but after a while I feel soooo tired. I thought about taking it at night but it wakes me in the morning so I’m sure it’ll do the same at night. On week 3 I start taking two pills a day so it’ll jump to 50mg. Is this something my body will adjust too? Or should I mention to my doctor that maybe we should add something to give me energy? I should also add I’m a stay at home mom, so feeling so tired where I want to fall asleep isn’t something I’m interested in. I have to be on my toes and alert.",0.4005482456140364,2.2070262039473723,2.723842105263156,93.58256140350879,83.01315789473685,5.8954385964912275,20.659649122807018,7.0316486544052195,0.3219907017543857,541,16,128,7,15,185,88,152,0.053,0.813,0.134,0.8661,0,0,3,0,0,0,16.0,1,0,0,0,9,2,0,0,7,0,13,10,4,0,1,24,27,13,0,4,4,1,3,0,0,6,6,0,1,0,7,7,0,0,7,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,2,3,19,2,19,18,1,25,0,0,0,0,5,11,0,4,10,81,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11661912532492565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619827646103008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09404742047448816,0.0,0.0,0.14801301846583362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2985236220390693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2212060538331252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13989213705532855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14627803437786024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14650448792711782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17079276206436078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2737006341475448,0.0,0.0,0.16602689397605452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14659807969804414,0.1633614717086702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14398820713237742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33679807701899606,0.0,0.0,0.1032182748931623,0.1554339465859038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13744178459976686,0.0,0.3289350072356115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11577166544008355,0.0,0.3352171808176878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2849068187765048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08601352093262536,0.0,0.11697495340795434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15814495925003622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,-flameohotman-,2020/02/07,"Hypomania, mixed state, anxiety, or just working myself up? (xposted in r/bipolar and r/bipolar2, sorry, I just really need some insight on all of this)

About 6-8 weeks ago I was severely depressed and suicidal. After 2-3 or so very low weeks the depression and suicidality seemed to be gradually improving, but my irritability and agitation remained the same or even got a bit worse.

I was prescribed Prozac two weeks ago and the upward trend seemed to continue initially, but then the agitation/discomfort/irritability started getting much worse. Beginning a few days ago it got to the point where I was filled with this uncomfortable, aggressive, buzzing energy and felt like I was going to scream or explode yet wanted to cry at the same time. I've also been listening almost exclusively to metal, which is generally a bad sign.

Yesterday and today I've been extremely talkative, everything is funny, my brain is in overdrive, I have all this energy and want to do ALL THE THINGS, and generally feel pretty good.

This definitely sounds like a mixed state progressing to hypomania, but it's not constant throughout the day. It confuses me and is making me doubt what's going on, and I can't help but wonder if I'm just working myself up and this is all bullshit. Like I'll feel as described above for a few hours at a time and exercise or clean or whatever to direct the energy somewhere, but then my exhaustion will catch up with me and I'll calm down for a while and feel more ""normal"". I do have an infection, which may be part of the exhaustion, but basically I have no idea what to make of this. Does this happen to anyone else?

Sorry for the long post. If anyone has any thoughts about this I'd appreciate hearing them.",8.259774601429356,7.9101325109034315,8.757295217152283,65.9086641011545,61.89719626168226,12.661975444383366,36.95088876672165,12.000913495891488,4.6624409382444565,1380,58,239,41,17,462,180,321,0.193,0.68,0.126,-0.9705,0,0,0,0,0,0,43.0,0,0,1,3,10,15,1,2,19,0,22,6,1,2,4,65,46,35,2,6,18,0,4,3,0,2,5,4,1,0,16,17,0,0,10,1,0,4,3,10,0,1,10,8,18,5,33,32,13,43,0,3,0,0,4,13,0,16,26,163,34,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28999586563007645,0.0,0.109196741972442,0.0,0.0,0.08720638246581505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07415700550608922,0.0,0.08342212583664757,0.0,0.0,0.15249908169985155,0.11173350603716953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0910512937874864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11905317795468467,0.0,0.0,0.12173466011709533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11784314291128273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11978511881908027,0.14065506488700408,0.0,0.18784735117351967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954294453507374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09109638037240972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07202578364122628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980061383880392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654152325407821,0.0,0.1047040650027584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056973560224668415,0.0,0.12395002930636825,0.0914650608715143,0.17443276734518498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964316004136514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12290605903530642,0.0,0.07309319287611675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10739122063295853,0.0,0.0,0.12310295796226432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1598273831047406,0.0,0.0,0.09650486322830416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1455820026591313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08016350402603525,0.08085839292694091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10684478898371988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11808935435169796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030864777643616,0.0,0.1044387221011547,0.1109419561215172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06985953094185192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985480835836761,0.0,0.12319424082197675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2441426774589205,0.07718538732575156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23856363972568195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07244725735990812,0.0,0.0,0.08657266213361342,0.12717460518801338,0.0,0.10336562604464937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10652495007194214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08997678008404981,0.12863975754890528,0.0,0.2624173993088933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11825890275693668,0.1587778260361136,0.0,0.22226033295629244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,QuantumS0up,2020/02/07,"Tips for coping during medication changes? A little over a week ago I had to stop taking lamictal cold-turkey, per my doctors instruction, after I reported a neck rash that hadn't gone away since upping my dosage to 150mg. The first few days I was fine, but now I feel awful. I'm extremely lethargic, often having to go to bed at 8pm if not earlier. I cannot focus at all, and I have zero motivation. Even talking in discord with my friends is daunting and tiring, which I normally enjoy! But not right now since I feel so mentally slow and just like a boring ass conversationalist. Getting work done has been nearly impossible this past week. I've hardly gotten anything done. I'm super anxious again, over-run with self-doubt, especially at night. I just feel weird, listless, and exhausted. The fatigue is overwhelming, I want to cry thinking about it right now. I feel like I'm under water 24/7, or just waking up still, 6 hours and 2 cups of coffee later. I'm terrified of this spiraling into another depression, especially since I just got out of a pretty bad psychotic/depression episode. Not even the vyvanse I take for adhd is putting a dent in the lethargy(although that medication/disorder is an entirely different issue that I'm also working through). I am going to see my psychiatrist on Monday, but I anticipate this lasting until I've adjusted to new meds or whatever. So, for a while. 

I guess what I'm wondering is, if anyone else has felt like this/experienced this with medication changes in general, what do you do to combat it?(other than reaching out to therapist, which I have done already) I really need ideas, since I literally don't have the mental capacity to come up with any, let alone self-motivate atm. Someone just tell me something, anything to do! Lol. For real though. SOS.",6.0985788449059015,7.442413910447764,7.068345230369892,70.32831927319923,66.61194029850746,10.363400389357562,33.66969500324464,10.472087959537523,3.8806327060350414,1440,64,241,38,23,482,207,335,0.16399999999999998,0.725,0.11199999999999999,-0.9614,1,1,1,0,0,0,57.0,0,1,0,5,18,14,0,1,13,2,25,11,4,1,1,47,51,18,0,5,15,0,6,3,1,0,6,0,1,0,12,13,1,1,10,0,1,5,6,7,0,2,11,7,25,7,44,39,2,47,0,3,1,1,4,20,1,7,25,156,37,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11407468136863905,0.0,0.08414032704199065,0.0,0.0,0.09830787927645092,0.1047459257531006,0.07590701534534146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06454845156685488,0.0995312742326379,0.0,0.10723191197842884,0.0,0.06636985623889866,0.09725614934981308,0.1562211683204342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08917990726886184,0.0,0.07925373991346572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2008242931154908,0.08176466424196116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10426451132642446,0.061215164916186574,0.0,0.16350789202498586,0.0,0.0,0.09917057756729347,0.10878586365438664,0.09715403496609527,0.0,0.2914065254915537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07929298461089353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.125386746004697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919764164012254,0.06781044320231225,0.09113751590371888,0.0,0.0,0.08073839895662221,0.0,0.0,0.07333449825602402,0.0,0.0495914724125602,0.0,0.1078897726356465,0.0,0.07591572069161155,0.0,0.10456442792742343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08502914444457818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09347649566517018,0.0,0.0,0.1071524566766833,0.0,0.09907119989027624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07737198528768484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970615244661866,0.0,0.1391184828322981,0.09513418186258682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054340629351893,0.1912426326983239,0.19131287359578986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07038153744206672,0.0,0.0916737545928444,0.0,0.08907543328927219,0.09300086539120256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09061131417020303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09656716088480503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09542022077624536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10803906547077256,0.060807802563077565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16212130959720908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0756384779833186,0.0,0.19804328494595225,0.0,0.0,0.3140732567863197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08042490537858017,0.07307359671732508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07580276090366624,0.07935687431625163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14273516213449033,0.07629262372353825,0.08296374530816207,0.0,0.0,0.11020874723766627,0.0,0.06082052321645717,0.09325783527442584,0.0,0.0,0.10909589493770523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055985925423024566,0.0,0.15227724541097015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029360477120227,0.1382049173080624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,fatorangecat69,2020/02/07,"cutting latuda in half? hey all--i started on latuda pretty recently. this is the first med i've taken and after about a week and a half i still feel exhausted all the time, particularly about an hour after taking it. i've also noticed that i get very very anxious at night right after i take it. i think i'm going to try to smuggle food out of the dining hall (i'm in college) so i can take it later at night, but i'm wondering: would it be okay to split my 40mg pills in half and try taking those instead? i couldn't get a psych follow up for another two weeks, but i'm involved in sports that practice at night and even getting homework done/being social at all has felt IMPOSSIBLE..should i stick it out for a little longer and see if it gets better, or should i try taking half a pill and see if that helps?

thanks everyone--i'm a little lost & getting psych appointments at school is next to impossible :))) so i appreciate any advice you can give",3.765965951147298,4.902130352331606,5.132542561065879,82.81866580310881,71.90155440414506,7.5868245743893405,25.18467801628423,7.957251820313856,1.3695569207994076,750,22,150,10,14,251,114,193,0.049,0.8390000000000001,0.11199999999999999,0.9406,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,0,3,8,6,1,0,10,1,9,5,0,0,2,22,36,14,0,5,5,0,2,0,0,2,3,0,1,0,11,8,2,0,4,1,0,2,1,3,0,6,3,4,11,3,25,29,2,35,0,1,2,0,6,17,0,4,16,91,22,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11374072248448737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930817560020604,0.0,0.1261149047182014,0.0,0.07915320068536377,0.12205124573199473,0.0,0.13149423173866245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10294271122587452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11911341343005255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07687839157160202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058853262337844936,0.0,0.111758313502238,0.0,0.0,0.0990062897017666,0.1407463794993676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3040602580596745,0.11165754958040104,0.06615047005800467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07801771558834321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11462651142121373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333185322411023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12705987018857226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12928960091224914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12378835590995473,0.3276889906481626,0.0,0.0,0.13251749909631655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11841647134190456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11492690522354194,0.0,0.0,0.09940145923276668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177988608621031,0.18550491861599908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11865095792118475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08238561429602335,0.0,0.09295391292381536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4375761408307219,0.0,0.0,0.10716170278208463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07458179031537115,0.0,0.0,0.06787138300576445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370755189301225,0.0,0.11370187743557734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19207760837729174,0.0,0.0,0.18673153380519125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12622638412741882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08268430497790676,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,theelanad1,2020/02/07,"Can someone tell me if the starting dosages they put me on are normal? I feel like they started me off on such a high dose and I'm having a lot of trouble. This is the second time they've done that at two different facilities (neither near each other).

They started me on divalproex 500mg tablets 3x a day. and Lexapro 20 mg once a day.

I googled divalproex doses and nothing seems to ever come that high in dosage to treat bipolar depression. Any thoughts?",3.342949438202247,5.521529404494383,3.863356741573035,87.17908005617979,75.17977528089888,6.6971910112359545,31.3497191011236,7.645422480735847,2.1234146067415733,363,18,70,5,8,114,66,89,0.077,0.8640000000000001,0.059000000000000004,-0.3736,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,3,0,2,4,0,0,6,0,5,3,0,0,1,12,13,4,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,3,0,0,2,1,2,0,2,2,1,9,2,10,11,3,18,0,1,0,0,4,9,0,3,8,45,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13458982320093116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17048730739901855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25527919022974743,0.0,0.17046495884418664,0.0,0.0,0.20678033597276899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20253701828351414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17902656090540942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10007239257872806,0.14139139421994165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4182187265889189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09669187281736627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1682613011499039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19391588375394764,0.18990596046475167,0.0,0.0,0.21077432560697806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1989604759266332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18017550253034695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16769377937197416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42025837867800414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1729875084849643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15712337912080632,0.11540654528247822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19333539830560512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,krissy1520,2020/02/07,"I thought I was wrongfully diagnosed I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 17 after being treated for depression for 2 years. This all happened after a full blown psychosis that ended with me in handcuffs in a cop car. I spent 1 week in a psychiatric hospital then as soon as I got out tried to kill myself and went back for another week. Now when I was 15 I started taking depression medication I think I had tried 5 different ones before my bipolar diagnosis. After the hospital stay I was on two different medication. Don’t really remember which ones but I know one of them also was an anti-seizure medication. I started having seizures about a month after my diagnosis. I mean full blown convulsions, throwing up, blank eyes, locked legs. I had to have an EEG done to see if I was having real seizures or pseudo seizures. I had to stop all medication for a month before I had that done. Turns out they were pseudo seizures possibly caused from stress. I decided after getting my EEG done that I wanted to take a break from medication. I’m now 20 I haven’t been on any medications since then. I have a fiancé and I have a 1 year old son. I also hadn’t had any symptoms of bipolar. Until recently. My fiancé pointed out I have been acting out of the ordinary. Spending lots of money, super energetic, trying to accomplish all these huge tasks. I thought they wrongfully diagnosed me with bipolar Because after I stopped medication I got better. I thought they were shoving medication down my throat when all it was was normal teenage emotions. It was just me being hormonal. I’m so afraid of what will happen because I know before the mania was scary and the depression was dark. I thought it was just the medication...",4.476459627329192,6.789229658385096,5.715496894409938,74.56809006211185,72.2919254658385,9.072049689440991,31.686335403726712,9.606745405546679,3.4631416149068333,1378,65,233,36,28,459,160,322,0.09,0.846,0.064,-0.7096,2,0,0,0,0,1,31.0,0,0,4,3,12,11,1,2,15,0,36,20,3,1,4,36,60,16,1,3,5,1,0,0,0,1,17,0,0,0,10,10,0,2,10,0,3,4,3,8,0,4,33,2,43,3,42,24,7,50,0,3,2,0,5,16,0,3,28,176,53,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11443937050861765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973149073377473,0.07502795569871341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05501866434647213,0.0,0.08723422482315385,0.0,0.18265509460904025,0.0,0.0,0.06328146125046627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07350307015107824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18488153056144474,0.21786970978966053,0.0,0.14951211581886564,0.08200418433135215,0.0,0.0,0.2196659899459707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08048577395363736,0.06337336542342134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03738269025378802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144524949127676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12654545844511744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07916110107832385,0.0,0.07864563410945097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06083050166982613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07794052760611828,0.0,0.6487252120490308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11422340251653987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07010524945359403,0.0,0.0,0.07508123222884458,0.0,0.14545538490411825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06763926727455208,0.08066353238898655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08144123824764066,0.04583770429960645,0.0,0.07064844526565749,0.0,0.08105386815815492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05701725833416101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059188115941420184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10128899844555987,0.0762643475219028,0.0,0.1196404667074118,0.08196196792011738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07436937460838433,0.10759560252634164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04584729329186624,0.0,0.2272155013816709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457362554954729,0.07782745358100042,0.0698953900219042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042202911243476735,0.0,0.1147885477273426,0.0,0.0,0.06632893016659062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564606017074908,0.0,0.09215360242538988
bipolarreddit,swallesque,2020/02/07,"Severe depression during menstrual period Does this happen to anyone else? I feel 10/10 depressed when I'm on my period, every single time. Every emotion feels so much bigger and painful, and I don't know how to escape it. My life feels like it's falling apart about once every 30 days. It's torture. 

I've taken birth control in the past and it's only made it worse, but I've read a bit about the Nexplanon implant being good for people with bipolar disorder. Thoughts? Advice?",2.529770229770232,5.369776802197803,3.715484515484516,83.15906093906094,83.17582417582419,5.506893106893108,22.558441558441558,6.980632752743323,1.160397802197803,383,13,63,5,11,124,70,91,0.191,0.736,0.073,-0.8477,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,5,6,1,0,3,0,2,3,0,3,0,13,11,7,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,6,4,0,1,5,1,0,1,1,4,0,0,3,3,4,2,8,7,3,12,0,2,0,0,0,4,0,0,8,32,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16745675813761732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11982301026687417,0.1755845988292091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1870871615141282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19220140999183813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11051681817477953,0.0,0.2951943688758839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964001490470405,0.0,0.1499634395507923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14315420655610347,0.19276355383023105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4331494436434391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2599432191472771,0.12242382148282893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14373357276260107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15153828492106006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09417820802035468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210407914764251,0.08372071470078282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16215054251401154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259736420557027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18249907325429726,0.0,0.13033147651862778,0.18234538234126185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16358812634805506,0.11880352670975633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17141225763967993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19359467110608647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13604536982174742,0.09992482481383906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17463647558322726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,drusillalunarose,2020/02/07,"Insulting text from friend just ended friendship. Ughhh.  I'm still fuming. This may be a long post.  So an older friend randomly sends me a long text that goes like this:

""I'm watching Deadly Women and watching an episode where this female doctor who was breaking glass ceilings in the 70s.  She was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and fell into psychosis after moving back in with her parents.  

She killed her parents who never really accepted her, even when she was in top of her game and taking names. They really rejected her after she moved back in.  She snapped out of it a few days later after staying at home with the bodies and called the cops.  

She was found not guilty due to insanity and spent 6 years in a psychiatric hospital and is free now.  It's a sad story and **I really hope this never happens to you.**""

Really?  Did she just casually imply what I think she just implied?  I proceed to let her know I'm not planning on killing anyone anytime soon and send her the stats on mental illness and violence.  She starts backtracking with all the ""no what I meant was""  with no apology.  She becomes increasingly defensive and starts gaslighting me and laying the blame on me for getting angry in the first place.  Says she had ""no idea this was such a taboo subject for me""  and I'm being touchy pretty much.  Then starts in on ""you're not the only one with mental health problems"".  As if me standing up for myself implied that in any way.  

I told her off after that last bit and ended an 11 year friendship.  I'm just so frustrated right now.",3.445897123354463,5.894534163822532,4.237829107752315,83.3175042662116,75.96245733788395,6.916089712335446,25.14005363237445,7.957251820313856,1.6659254997562174,1222,43,218,20,28,391,170,293,0.152,0.7390000000000001,0.109,-0.9539,2,1,0,0,0,0,35.0,0,1,1,3,16,16,6,0,17,0,13,6,1,0,3,45,31,19,3,3,8,2,0,1,2,1,5,1,1,1,14,21,0,2,6,2,2,6,8,9,0,2,12,3,32,8,37,15,5,62,0,2,2,0,37,21,0,4,31,157,46,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0783936817107593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0806057660390534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17728489001008094,0.0,0.0,0.12731661249719353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12585482484817406,0.12804899529855793,0.0,0.0,0.11771276091644095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07434542638626761,0.0,0.0,0.11700577126988758,0.0,0.0,0.13211973584090078,0.11799295427187202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20420597722816825,0.0,0.0,0.07614070065537731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09805626929851606,0.0,0.12639748724772518,0.17812855847507353,0.0,0.060228526161492414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10194085020148463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225361997932022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.115634248998006,0.11449807073537854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13013597351034226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550782950558382,0.0,0.0633543305643747,0.09396778142214786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117880600861237,0.0,0.05631950262944836,0.0,0.0,0.20403659721235165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323482617442103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2450466934534577,0.08474333849578324,0.0,0.1778205626148801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0781160424388301,0.08767488381727957,0.0,0.0,0.2560074024679353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12044203236742923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11040542808870676,0.11728019945256687,0.0,0.11030644636765133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29540274965222474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09844764695812776,0.0,0.091674497846914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447852355462139,0.12287208916021315,0.09206196844124152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0866754708880623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07386613656525097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11015403679291354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09150311447202457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14847180919492414
bipolarreddit,gurpderp,2020/02/07,"Need advice on medications to try, current meds no longer working I'm currently on 80mg Prozac  (max possible dose) and 15mg Abilify and this cocktail has kept me.... semi-functional for a while, but it's no longer working well. I haven't tried new medications in years, but I'm going back to my doctor soon and was wondering what I should ask about.

For reference I am SEVERE Bipolar II, mostly morbid depression with occasional hypomania and constant rapid cycling.",7.849411764705883,8.399286882352943,8.392941176470586,65.16823529411766,62.529411764705884,11.976470588235294,38.17647058823529,11.602472056035307,4.909870588235293,375,18,60,11,5,125,68,85,0.163,0.8059999999999999,0.031,-0.9062,2,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,4,2,0,0,1,0,5,6,0,0,0,13,12,7,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,0,3,5,1,1,2,1,0,1,3,1,1,0,2,0,5,1,9,9,1,12,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,2,8,36,8,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21130523829433692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20215330876917756,0.0,0.0,0.16627364872419334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336764219241531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862454437557064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22132872157819494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12289301961129595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24019163350635955,0.43567400387580135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603377122751175,0.0,0.2088439755836001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2437758169634475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2442873525412885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2936227701449989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19442390108803306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23450085065807866,0.3148476300988262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13925016083501826
bipolarreddit,yubnubnub,2020/02/07,"Lithium toxicity that caused a rare kidney disorder called Nephrogenic Diabetes Insipidus Has anyone else experienced this happen to them? This will be somewhat long, I apologize.

I started Lithium 1x a day 300mg back in November 2019. Got my levels checked from bloodwork, levels came back low at 0.2 mmol/L, so my doctor upped the dosage to 2x a day 300mg. Levels were checked again in December 2019, were in the therapeutic range at 0.7 mmol/L. The “therapeutic” range are between 0.6 to 1.2 for clarification.

At this point, my moods were perfectly fine and stable, but I noticed some side effects, like being thirsty constantly and urinating a lot. 

January 15 2020 comes, and I get my levels checked again, they are back down in the low range at 0.4, so they get increased to 3x a day 300mg each. 

I start to notice after I start the new dosage a week later that my coordination is off, I start to become very confused, I’m extremely thirsty and peeing constantly, and after the 2nd dosage I take, I notice my pinks are very pink, like I’m wearing blush. 

On Jan 27, I call my doctor and tell them my symptoms, and she tells me she doesn’t know what’s wrong with me and that I should go to the urgent care. I suggest that I go to the ER, since if there is something actually wrong with me, they’d send me to the ER anyways.

I go to the ER, tell them I think I possibly have Lithium Toxicity, and I get a room right away. They take my blood and urine, and I notice my urine is colorless. They come back with my blood results, and they say my levels are at 0.2, so they are at the same range when I was taking 1x a day, even though I’m taking 900mg total.

They end up admitting me, I see a Neurologist because of the confusion and poor coordination, I see a Nephrologist due to possible damage of my kidneys from the Lithium, and a Psychiatrist. 

They end up finding out from my urine test that I had a adverse reaction to taking Lithium that cause toxicity due to drug induced, not level induced, and caused me to develop Nephrogenic Diabetes Insipidus, 

The exact definition of Nephrogenic Diabetes Insipidus is an “inability to concentrate urine due to impaired renal tubule response to vasopressin (ADH), which leads to excretion of large amounts of dilute urine. It can be inherited or occur secondary to conditions that impair renal concentrating ability.”

This condition, as told by my kidney doctor, only happens in 10-15% of patients that have been taking Lithium for 15 years, and I have only been taking it for 3 months, which surprised them. 

I’m completely off Lithium, only taking Lamictal 25mg 1x a day, and I feel perfectly fine! 🥰",9.256802554457176,7.6507452112676075,9.24342752165165,67.27923628728897,60.670020120724345,12.345691540547636,39.91855480710349,11.20814326018867,4.4627224039891535,2098,91,371,46,23,691,237,497,0.073,0.853,0.07400000000000001,-0.4723,0,0,2,0,0,0,69.0,0,0,13,4,14,17,0,2,28,0,28,21,13,8,4,54,64,26,0,2,4,0,1,2,0,2,8,5,1,0,17,25,0,0,9,0,5,9,2,8,3,0,10,11,60,8,59,48,8,72,0,3,4,0,26,32,0,7,33,232,77,5,0.0,0.0,0.0726157479373611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05203086567689216,0.07624427608909129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06991287971879519,0.22887410546257864,0.0,0.045361095660169895,0.08218262648938658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15196671783336324,0.08510793806559705,0.07586837987030068,0.22932603366615406,0.0,0.12819935143376965,0.07801996378584378,0.16082669276206468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2399491428517036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08528303329409205,0.2284926695528821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08629473544919596,0.0,0.06216199439334118,0.0,0.13181456232832667,0.0,0.0,0.049148674629864185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03762513474094663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06801156645077999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11663219054729294,0.0,0.12687080971765816,0.0,0.0595143773078519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316052422664606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0408950975299622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07270825947817308,0.0,0.0,0.06585261392827954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06326274374295167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05939525110341357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07186793947763741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33887594746475064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.169781902485381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07034375050491402,0.16777755365634234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06354776521325646,0.0,0.059175710595670165,0.0,0.0,0.1185940639614657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061554688990630525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057286284930931776,0.0,0.0,0.2106778598480692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07734295392976401,0.4475907870980996,0.0,0.19511909771099895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047680447920257496,0.07310978470430246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07110421715194247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12279601178993901,0.0,0.0,0.05968912207001045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1627165103029029,0.0,0.04791913246803866
bipolarreddit,dulcetdreamer,2020/02/07,"What's your diagnosis story? Hey ya'll,

I'm just curious as to your lives before diagnosis and what pushed you to get diagnosed. Was it an easy diagnosis according to your psychiatrist? What was the process like? How have you been since your diagnosis? Was it hard to adjust?

I've always been scared of being diagnosed as bipolar because I grew up in a household that didn't believe in mental health. I'm just now exploring the state of my mental health and I feel like I'm in a constant state of wondering due to me being in college. I haven't gotten diagnosed, and I REFUSE to self diagnose. However, as I finally go on my journey to exploring my mental health and traumas, I want to learn to not be scared and to inform myself. My immediate family has a lot of undiagnosed mental issues due to our collective trauma (poverty, abuse, depression, struggles, overall fear), so I guess I'm also scared of not being able to lead a normal life. Learning your stories and pasts is something that's really valuable, so please share only as much as you're comfortable with. Thank you.",5.883394625176805,7.2398377920792125,6.9193210749646425,71.15336633663367,67.11881188118812,10.325884016973127,32.74540311173975,10.451354775682146,3.76909080622348,862,37,145,23,14,289,116,202,0.139,0.7390000000000001,0.122,-0.7096,1,0,1,0,1,0,25.0,1,8,0,1,8,14,0,5,7,0,14,9,0,2,0,26,26,15,0,2,4,0,2,2,0,0,9,0,0,1,7,7,0,1,8,0,0,7,4,8,0,0,7,2,22,6,29,15,2,21,0,1,0,0,14,6,0,3,8,96,29,4,0.1110108728728842,0.13152973172210114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0887753549293218,0.09236993912585156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06767119773764023,0.0,0.09446207647769457,0.1250712390506393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11996331624049256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09561350213958968,0.4506947968218444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1046511712298768,0.12491809484176755,0.056130432828050865,0.07930618976140967,0.0,0.12160698506364673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05799859927127132,0.0,0.06309003730022936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12229099194595328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09944393733651474,0.0,0.0,0.3539981002842925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11586650974906013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07841026249165875,0.10846861021982368,0.0,0.09802463456022896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09437747433014516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4474913992796596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08160576463631071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087670855753754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08442877116134409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10597243929925823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12185660247495733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07111640775822749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3334237492473256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158085509781852,0.0,0.0,0.09182934119515716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08546159343809301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11605266737133678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10220389696021066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06547708901296663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12038655622384767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sweetsleepysub,2020/02/07,"Does anyone else just “snaps out of it”? Like for a second it like your brain clears and you correctly see how crazy you sound/have been acting. But you get dunked right back into You snap out of it long enough to know you need to apologize to some people, that you’re ripping your family apart, etc.
Been a three month long manic episode.",3.12409090909091,5.2961132272727305,2.8242424242424238,94.40636363636366,75.81818181818181,6.218181818181819,17.060606060606062,7.1686216300943375,-0.1447393939393935,267,4,56,3,6,79,50,66,0.036000000000000004,0.8490000000000001,0.115,0.5106,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,7,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,2,1,1,1,2,12,6,3,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,1,7,2,9,4,3,10,0,0,1,0,8,5,0,1,6,34,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1762757050612412,0.2583084742035621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1938510141327268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28142940669986244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22061631552527294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21059902131448924,0.0,0.0,0.2604889418261754,0.28116056952613977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376594976218315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317129832718499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13854876440858205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463287807449023,0.0,0.0,0.4462049900310848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20122555389643607,0.0,0.0,0.18693057118034126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1747759081321786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2152938832037918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.200892796697881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,minervae23,2020/02/08,"A study on mental health literacy and help-seeking attitudes (US, 18+) Hi all,

My name is Minerva Escobar and I am looking for participants aged 18+ who live in the U.S. for my master's thesis on mental health literacy and help-seeking attitudes. More information about the study is listed below and you can participate at the link provided. Please feel free to contact me any time with any questions you might have. Thank you!

*Purpose of the study*: To examine the effect of mental health literacy on attitudes toward mental health service seeking.

*What the study involves*: Completing an online questionnaire about your knowledge and opinions of various elements of mental health, and reading information about mental disorders.

*How long the study will take*: Approximately 25-35 minutes.

*Who is eligible to participate*: Any adult 18 years or older who resides in the United States.

*Benefits of participation*: All participants will be learning about specific mental health disorders.

*Compensation*: A raffle for a $50 gift card will be held, which you may enter whether or not you choose to participate in the study. If you consent to take part in the study, at the end you will have the option of entering your email if you wish to participate in the raffle. If you do not consent to take part in the study, clicking ‘I do not agree’ on the consent form on the study website will also take you to the raffle email entry page. Please note that winning a prize is not guaranteed.

*Where to participate in the study:* Visit [https://callutheran.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV\_3ICuzGwWasEUFuZ](https://callutheran.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_3ICuzGwWasEUFuZ)

*For additional information*: Contact Minerva Escobar at [minervaescobar@callutheran.edu](mailto:minervaescobar@callutheran.edu).

This research has been approved by the Institutional Review Board at California Lutheran University.",6.734098124098124,10.760619713804711,6.357756132756138,62.07568181818184,79.13468013468014,8.754497354497355,30.64045214045214,8.976282227363876,3.995861375661377,1553,70,203,44,42,483,152,297,0.0,0.8859999999999999,0.114,0.9839,0,0,0,0,0,0,87.0,1,12,0,5,7,5,0,0,24,0,21,6,0,2,2,39,30,14,0,4,10,0,1,0,0,7,6,0,0,1,7,8,0,1,11,1,1,3,4,0,0,0,2,3,17,6,43,19,8,29,1,0,2,0,29,19,0,10,6,138,24,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06934081168474532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17689440182608415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09091228539828644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19875106540028525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07679805609072451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04384245802916618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5530029280787071,0.0,0.0,0.116237852766026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07656525542385396,0.07673435542861902,0.0728133602504055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6116729077255906,0.09198408977472022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18779386211288174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903599423845962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09713344200389608,0.0,0.08673203404849436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.260776212931858,0.0,0.0,0.07982960111178714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05056046415456281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10429973293766204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09971057570150044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05583747589181876
bipolarreddit,danielpelikan,2020/02/08,Can self harm trigger hypomania? Can self harm trigger hypomania?,6.504000000000001,10.032935400000001,7.600000000000001,49.48000000000002,95.0,10.0,45.0,8.841846274778883,7.057000000000002,54,4,6,2,2,18,5,10,0.479,0.521,0.0,-0.8105,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Radley1561,2020/02/08,"Confused Mother- is this the correct sub? My son was diagnosed a year ago with Bi polar disorder.....not sure which type.  He saw a doctor at a free/reduced clinic once and she put him on meds, which he has taken and had adjusted routinely this past year. My struggle is, I am not sure this was an accurate diagnosis, yes I have seen my son depressed and we have had conversations about it.  I have never seen my son in a manic state, sure sometimes he is more animated than others, but manic.....not to me.  
Now, he is taking himself off the meds and not feeling well at all.  This is all very confusing and if anyone here has a story to share or advice- I would greatly appreciate it.
He is 27 years old, has a good job, is buying his own home and has a dog he loves.",3.0769607843137265,4.514129849673203,4.807336601307188,83.30551470588236,74.0326797385621,7.714379084967319,26.47549019607843,8.344100000000001,1.7369960784313725,589,21,120,10,12,200,98,153,0.075,0.784,0.141,0.9095,1,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,1,0,0,0,4,12,0,3,10,1,20,5,0,0,7,25,27,9,0,2,5,4,1,0,0,1,3,0,1,0,9,8,0,0,2,0,1,1,3,4,1,0,8,4,14,8,10,18,4,15,0,1,3,2,18,5,0,4,8,82,23,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16269829618311865,0.14758895931570018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11641811193986935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14340305340047207,0.16899028005898334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1704160587207044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08418555199956125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396492303617233,0.0,0.1835628022854764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16700940398494948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16522192632984073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15026944701604025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36987979895216905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128412241338168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1747099007995486,0.17731316791091198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15893959568203542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16737480798015236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16466913724799506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1740581244688884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4707624892471702,0.0,0.12518452671733735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13737691714669667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14970020478259918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11827422269825592,0.0,0.0,0.3216545518789898
bipolarreddit,silver_sun333,2020/02/08,"Refusal to treat dual diagnosis patients My bipolar is well-managed and has been for the last couple years. But when I was seeking treatment I had multiple psychiatrists reject me as a patient because I was newly in recovery for alcoholic and drug addictions. They all said they weren’t qualified to treat it. 

When I tell other people this—like my new psychiatrist—they look at me like I’m lying. Is this not a normal experience? Is there something in my medical history they’re not telling me about or something?",5.3393617021276585,7.765149478723407,6.315904255319152,70.70875000000002,70.17021276595744,9.380851063829788,35.15425531914894,9.827888789773867,4.128323404255319,417,22,65,11,8,138,69,94,0.067,0.843,0.09,0.2869,1,0,4,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,2,0,4,4,0,0,3,0,9,5,0,0,1,9,12,7,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,0,5,1,0,0,3,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,6,2,12,3,9,6,1,8,0,1,1,0,6,3,0,1,6,46,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25156350635120506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24661328573735425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14066973844990932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2553326114259433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2676094500931869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22572849695980626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881009804244481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11273814813211723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19378108649935188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23246738839486056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22287037167248397,0.0,0.0,0.2260967441298387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15998059310281085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2195065152520548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3553021196124685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.403390497842981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2074818149597937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14860249147254193
bipolarreddit,charmingblacksmith1,2020/02/08,"Scared and Drifting I am almost 30 and I see everyone starting or continuing great careers, getting married or having children. I was just diagnosed with bipolar disorder, become medicated and realized how dumb most of my adult decisions have been. I started a stupid masters degree that I have to finish and I have no career prospects. The thought of finishing this useless degree makes me sick. I don’t know if it’s the bipolar that makes me want to give up on everything. What can I do to get motivated again? How can I continue to live knowing how badly I’ve damaged my life through my bipolar decision making lense? I don’t want to end up alone and without a career by the time I’m 35.",4.337727272727275,6.4111458030303075,5.538484848484849,76.72772727272728,72.03030303030303,8.436363636363637,34.72727272727273,9.095868883498916,3.4848090909090903,554,30,95,12,11,184,89,132,0.20800000000000002,0.708,0.084,-0.9553,0,1,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,5,7,2,1,5,0,12,7,0,7,0,28,27,11,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,2,5,6,0,0,7,0,0,1,4,6,0,0,3,1,15,1,14,24,1,13,0,2,1,0,3,3,1,5,9,66,20,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19447308269987715,0.20114280447521166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16215708881802884,0.0,0.21448948957609584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1971188807563413,0.0,0.0,0.2225812810097197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1720122573361082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18557580713969526,0.17454326485897184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20293323205695252,0.18630375739093774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21411701384470944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2134652777615728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13717614040506776,0.0,0.0,0.17149083048943844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3889096917821233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19564596327009892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19443791151700665,0.0,0.15476008331964605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2749254225260884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15418090483787186,0.11324530872127295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290999690688019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872113375498977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SuitableInvite,2020/02/08,"Weird After a long period of depression and an entire night without sleeping  I feel weirdly upbeat and have immense energy and (unusually for me) enthusiasm.   This has happened a couple of times over the last few years.  

Right now I feel like I could conquer the world!  It's lovely but also scary.  Should I see my GP?",4.507457627118646,6.706080762711867,5.612000000000003,75.84444067796613,71.88135593220339,8.109830508474579,27.0542372881356,8.841846274778883,2.388468474576272,251,9,42,5,5,83,50,59,0.13,0.7170000000000001,0.153,-0.2955,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,5,0,4,2,1,0,0,9,9,5,0,2,2,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,6,2,6,7,1,11,0,1,1,1,1,3,0,0,9,30,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2218877925090846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22153235861190293,0.30700854440061315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.238979263340674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2805881844733011,0.19822027625207034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24536042361682495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2261701232675773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13555485358164188,0.0,0.0,0.24554683341570266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2504220161213493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2603810882225635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23695266729660916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22110281680961366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2776642960316771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16179144009008936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2674653126509601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17867766419066253
bipolarreddit,MonaBunch,2020/02/08,"Newly diagnosed bipolar I would like to start off by apologizing if this post gets a little ramble-y. I’ve had things stuck in my head too long and I just want to yell into the void mostly. 

When I was 17 I was diagnosed with depression. They prescribed me Zoloft which worked decently up until about 6 months ago (I’m 23 now). I told my doctor and she increased my dose to no avail.
Last month I brought up to her the possibility of being bipolar. I have suspected that I may be for a while because It runs in the family, and from what I’d read about online it seemed to fit my behavior and how I felt. She asked me a shit ton of questions and ultimately decided that I have bipolar disorder. She prescribed me Lamictal and told me to IMMEDIATELY stop taking my Zoloft. 
I was pretty terrified of stopping Zoloft completely because anytime I’d gone a day or two without taking it I’ve always felt like ass. But whatever, docs orders. 
I’ve been on Lamictal now for 3 weeks and I honestly am not 100% sure it’s done anything. I feel terrible. My head is throbbing, I’m nauseous. I’m irritable. I can’t think straight half the time. I can’t tell if these are side effects of the Lamictal or just caused by not taking the Zoloft. Whatever the reason, it SUCKS. 

I guess I’m posting here to get some reassurance that this ISNT how it’s always going to be. I’ve been trying to tell myself that I’ll be fine after this adjustment period, but it’s hard to see past how terrible I currently feel. 
Is there anything I can do to make this easier?",3.3914705882352933,5.128401767973858,5.0711816993464085,80.50551764705884,73.80392156862746,8.686849673202614,27.272679738562086,9.281916038205594,2.42244303267974,1215,46,237,29,25,412,175,306,0.114,0.8140000000000001,0.07200000000000001,-0.8509,1,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,1,2,13,11,2,0,11,0,24,16,4,7,1,46,52,19,0,4,11,0,5,2,0,2,12,1,0,0,19,9,0,2,12,1,0,5,7,5,0,2,14,7,34,6,33,32,4,39,0,1,1,1,13,11,3,10,22,154,53,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103488585532725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942846129550864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1921445792774636,0.0,0.10914206745230448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14233496941847573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11993064950513485,0.0,0.0,0.12240631534435766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07529173052972675,0.0,0.1005534507885779,0.2369901533714908,0.0,0.0,0.1338014190262173,0.11949482502510887,0.0,0.1194720383527736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11005805833644174,0.0,0.1180609137583298,0.0,0.22418958759537894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219902872946948,0.0,0.0663496349255823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12860925460685738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1045817885071412,0.0,0.2396308504530319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951638482850836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11407272838851885,0.11701050213245293,0.0,0.10331683630206707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0779290878931018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18637162807401628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11144759078552094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13161395586477725,0.22362144235975387,0.11877299792158175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13078261843625244,0.0,0.11677793230789985,0.0,0.0,0.12003468066037205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09303171705566753,0.10628148242215933,0.0,0.0,0.1198384393864453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08263365969837923,0.0,0.0,0.19521033406938407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11003204295664352,0.0,0.26333615320470777,0.0,0.2040828923366119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07756108012380514,0.07480634007864326,0.0,0.0,0.06807572917287105,0.0,0.0,0.2231122601108812,0.0,0.07926310081149694,0.0,0.11404420938488817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06886001558893352,0.0,0.09364687118779773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125393047804349,0.0,0.0849927253000859,0.0,0.0,0.0829332496737983,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,spacesloth15,2020/02/08,"How do I trust a diagnosis and how do you know you are truly bipolar? So I have been struggling with mental health issues for a long time due to trauma. I was diagnosed with PTSD, major depression, and general anxiety. I had expressed concerns about possible bipolar to several psychiatrists, therapist, and general physicians for a number of years due to a fuzzy family history of emotional dysregulation. All of my previous encounters with medical professional, whether short or long standing expressed they felt my emotional dysregulation was trauma related and not bipolar. 

Now after moving and two years of being on a meds cocktail that worked, I hit another emotional slump. I went to see a new psych and after 5 min of talking to me and one random sheet of paper he diagnoses me with bipolar ii. I politely disagree and he goes on to explain that all 7 previous professionals have misdiagnosed me and as he has 30 years in the field he knows bipolar when he sees it and he sees I have scored 7 out of some arbitrary number on this arbitrary test. He puts me on latuda. I go with it for a little while bc I'm not good at sticking up for myself. The latuda gave horrible side effects and made it feel like I was manic for two straight weeks, a feeling I've not felt before. I bring up my complaints, he switches me to another bipolar medication, and same thing happens. 

Now he wants to put me on lithium and its freaking me out. I don't know if I agree with the diagnosis or if I just have some irrational fear of bipolar/lithium. How do I know I'm truly bipolar? Is there any difference between high anxiety and mania? Should I continue listening to this psych or should I get a second opinion? How do I even stand up for myself to get a second opinion? Please help",6.166289926289928,7.247090462462463,7.215884520884522,70.28780712530713,66.29729729729729,10.739230139230141,36.15738465738466,10.735267742514802,4.301505705705706,1416,70,239,39,22,477,175,333,0.114,0.804,0.08199999999999999,-0.9329999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,2,1,2,12,9,0,2,13,0,20,13,0,6,2,60,45,28,0,5,10,0,4,1,0,2,13,1,0,0,9,22,1,0,10,1,0,6,4,6,0,5,10,8,33,3,47,31,6,43,0,1,3,0,19,17,0,10,19,167,42,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07275157908493242,0.22436037404429632,0.16368221299711733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09103399074371804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09214363047381427,0.2171694053952423,0.0,0.1117736512906551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3610217987678509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07066074821884004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10085331710138126,0.12038474183058633,0.10818685112678518,0.07642812029824983,0.2054394190697627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1117875902390577,0.0,0.06080046179131035,0.08973161151923449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946040250129072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11371709856559413,0.0,0.0,0.07170792787284784,0.11303259057265395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11166164422072083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351785240771243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05226610946387054,0.1072242910163052,0.0,0.1893517986957565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10122916454969152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188331304885074,0.21554666579030868,0.10781291661934096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11370517055224393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033240960143914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724939218986892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11743435286842988,0.0,0.12060638018181782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12505649174158193,0.2150933622602768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25575293810888144,0.0,0.0,0.12085945883066047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11184104607059664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08598825709507918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12421460462468342,0.07107423415139144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06238219358905407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2090121702403697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06310088595754614,0.0,0.08581468488734853,0.0,0.0,0.09917359098716236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07788433128446272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20667912897076704
bipolarreddit,bubtigharv,2020/02/08,"Psychiatrists/doctors I am so emotionally, mentally and physically drained to the point that I just want to give up. I’ve had different kinds of mental illnesses for 9 years now and was diagnosed with bipolar 2 about 2 years ago. I’ve been questioning this diagnosis recently. But since my mental illnesses have started I have not been able to find a good psychiatrist that actually cares and helps. A lot always remind me about time and are just plain rude and mean some I controlled what medications I should try or go up doses on since I’ve done so much research at this point and they just agree with me and prescribe me any medications others threaten to take my anxiety medication which I have been able to taper off of on my own but when I’m going through medication and dose changes I take more since my anxiety gets so bad. Some don’t even listen to you completely and just care about time and rush through and don’t even give you details about the new medication they prescribe. I’ve even went to a psychiatrist that had me do so many ketamine treatments that never worked and cost me $40,000! I feel like majority of them don’t care and are in it for the money. Also I started having really bad panic attacks and anxiety at the age of 18 up to 3 times a day even ending up in the hospital multiple times thinking I was dying. I didn’t know what anxiety was or panic attacks so I didn’t know what was happening and none of the hospitals told me what was going on. I went to one of my friends doctors one day that’s not even a psychiatrist and didn’t even know her for my friends appointment. I started having a panic attack in her office and she is the one that started me on benzos which is crazy she wasn’t even my doctor or a psychiatrist and still didn’t tell me why she was putting me on this. I was young and dumb also dealing with a lot of life changes and didn’t research medications back then and I got hooked cause I was having so many panic attacks. If I knew I would have never ever taken a benzo. Has anyone else had a similar experience with psychiatrists/doctors? Also any tips on finding an actual good one? I’m so frustrated :(",5.9566012002182225,6.414309709219857,6.795189125295508,75.32173076923078,66.56501182033097,10.195635570103656,32.34488088743408,10.125756701596842,3.1786669212584115,1729,68,328,39,26,575,188,423,0.184,0.742,0.07400000000000001,-0.9946,1,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,2,3,2,30,22,7,4,18,0,40,15,0,2,3,59,72,39,1,4,12,0,1,1,2,2,15,1,0,0,17,25,0,1,10,0,2,7,14,13,0,4,27,2,45,9,45,43,9,51,0,0,0,0,20,18,1,9,27,235,62,5,0.12216685642037108,0.0,0.1192172290853793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0541467735451689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14654518641255185,0.05082630556228477,0.0,0.0,0.08307765164586421,0.0,0.18691462155238653,0.0,0.0,0.0427109532650093,0.06258719070691722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2779648715163929,0.0,0.046969385838627566,0.10200422219800813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18683587817210826,0.06274950697655521,0.1292363353456706,0.0,0.06404481231752461,0.0,0.06851025876704875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07878751577927083,0.06297433232036925,0.0,0.06199839383727573,0.06339495465258031,0.06381918153467646,0.0,0.2500859083983957,0.0,0.06250955477231583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051027366215298194,0.06871063513179153,0.05410178687218313,0.0,0.0,0.28241519768907,0.055253457908375485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059751313780475365,0.0,0.0,0.030885616654730174,0.043638013318402606,0.0,0.0,0.11165829352900544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943858102223885,0.0,0.03191357011429628,0.11719358064299527,0.10414535976001184,0.10246776299816318,0.048853997617047215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054015873835147485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040942934345881664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06360899070972434,0.10070956402399084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04314503179643905,0.029842277580359386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10386189260047156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1238580175639303,0.0,0.0665377605414863,0.0,0.36921076571512224,0.1846731859806724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044903348083816165,0.0,0.094222611019193,0.0589947556003307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16556684722707649,0.0,0.0,0.2866729673792592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11548716713491802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061405716707315774,0.0684274191946773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03913160824201623,0.0,0.06031251619787097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15158652910258702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17294065952739568,0.0,0.048781304673335066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09185427217524594,0.0,0.0533896086167844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03913979435635767,0.0,0.0,0.14247295283710645,0.0,0.0,0.0583678333276404,0.0,0.04147163813318193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0360285885754207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11324989983904413,0.055118293040209175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04446946323713387,0.0,0.0,0.04339191483134252,0.0,0.0,0.07867145013699638
bipolarreddit,PlsDontNerfThis,2020/02/08,"How do I know if I'm maybe showing signa or something? I'm not sure if this is the right place to ask, but I'm not sure who to ask, really.

I'm 20 years old, and I've just been thinking lately that I have strange tendencies. 

As an overview, I don't do a whole lot in my life. I go to work (restaurant), do classes, and play Xbox. Every so often I'll hang out with a friend, but it's not often at all. So, it might seem lame or immature, but a lot of my explanations will be about work or Xbox. School doesn't really change for me.

I've noticed that sometimes I'm super motivated (not extreme, but definitely more than usual) and willing to do what I have to. At work, I'll have a week or two where I'm all about improving and I'll even have the confidence to just walk into the office and talk to the Owner about a promotion. But then the next week, I might just be feeling ""meh"" the whole week. I may feel irritated by stupid things I'm stuck dealing with at work, and I might just have this ""indifferent"" attitude toward things.

The same with Xbox. I've been winning a ton of games lately. I was talking with teammates and trying to work with them and have a good attitude even if it's going to shit. I ranked up a lot.  But then I started losing and just gave up. I intentionally started losing more and more games and intentionally dropped back to where I came from. People messaged me and I basically just had a ""lol who cares"" attitude with them when I really just felt like shit and kept going.

But honestly, I've noticed that my moods, I guess, can change day-to-day. Yesterday, I was social, went out for a walk, talked to my mom for like an hour. Today, I dropped all those games I mentioned, said ""Nope"" to my mom when she asked a question, and haven't really texted anybody or left my room. Just this morning, I had a short urge to clean everything, but now I don't even want to do that. I figured I could drink tonight, and even that I can't motivate myself to do. I'll be really good one day at work, and the next day I'll barely speak to anyone (unless I have to) and will be mostly just irritable. 

Also, I'm not sure if this is helpful info, but pretty much any time I've dyed my hair in the last 2 years, it's been a spontaneous decision because I felt the need to just ""fucking do something""",4.860656901238293,4.7240356448202965,5.841766082754455,83.26803118393234,68.87315010570825,9.125007550588943,28.520764119601328,8.841846274778883,1.9068852914527328,1792,55,390,28,28,595,208,473,0.098,0.754,0.14800000000000002,0.9831,1,0,3,0,0,0,72.0,0,0,2,14,29,21,4,0,25,1,41,6,3,5,6,99,75,45,0,7,34,2,5,2,1,7,1,2,2,0,19,27,1,1,13,9,0,8,11,7,0,2,15,7,39,13,49,48,15,56,0,3,0,1,27,19,3,22,29,259,58,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05968116721042298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050750604718273626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05218266677861864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20930546523584334,0.0,0.0,0.057385462572230365,0.0,0.04549343757313161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08535624219423207,0.07608972740124574,0.0,0.15789618604831848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059585566142828936,0.0,0.0,0.1925193594586914,0.07693971564366832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07310847745645196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1971682675239428,0.0,0.06287855460774366,0.0,0.0670721633829643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07546981366329324,0.0,0.14331200617088266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05765855017218573,0.06899375056055433,0.0,0.0,0.12724095786802087,0.12519133204325247,0.0,0.0,0.08221278466828524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0500225664984239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07349500362590372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04101440980315809,0.0608329858623548,0.16837060537035645,0.0,0.08108514704779267,0.0,0.052713007911976285,0.07292038729403418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16698259452717,0.0,0.19034194222751813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0749753423093708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23751025013244895,0.0,0.17481028712388175,0.0,0.0,0.05486125387469954,0.05533681288213657,0.0,0.0,0.1587385946522501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16993231244368184,0.07831108394076394,0.0,0.05057086624144158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05173868385222683,0.0,0.07797192124102005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07592500969221111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08360209598229677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23904777548918224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06373316710204173,0.07098972429006785,0.0,0.0,0.07552901679414928,0.0,0.06793987458608006,0.0,0.0,0.15321217500837397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07607535529534211,0.0,0.1149068376490011,0.073810462775526,0.0,0.10564625838011793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2110122016146974,0.0,0.0,0.17995304436558152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991610191405,0.047819556590292966,0.0,0.0,0.04351704922584427,0.0,0.07074001967916757,0.0,0.0,0.050668517277983896,0.0,0.07290215667204973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0821938272931086,0.0,0.04401840016236208,0.0,0.1795897988684219,0.0,0.0,0.06918227450163526,0.0,0.16664229575137007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3259868962693193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09611787501012826
bipolarreddit,iGotHoez,2020/02/08,"I finally feel good, and it's for no reason. It's 1am and I feel good for no reason. I started exercising a few days ago after not doing anything for months, and my whole body is in pain... but damn, it's a good pain. I think this is the first time that I actually witnessed myself transition from a depressed period to feeling hypomanic, and it happened within just a matter of days. Literally nothing in my life changed, yet my mentality is so much better than it was a week ago.",3.9237053571428575,5.132455031250005,5.983571428571429,76.59000000000003,71.60416666666666,8.81904761904762,29.339285714285715,9.23628265651192,2.5705285714285706,377,15,73,8,7,132,64,96,0.154,0.6990000000000001,0.147,-0.4083,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,3,8,1,0,6,0,5,5,1,2,0,14,11,6,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,7,4,0,0,6,1,0,0,3,4,0,1,1,3,9,4,11,10,3,16,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,13,53,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.16007772576733414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2908201250187417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349895504888202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14507855296687353,0.0,0.18220958036414234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1735307791277682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115822761787435,0.0,0.14128595428600646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24882809192638314,0.0,0.0,0.17969594825088367,0.0,0.13953090095941706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4127626499387525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14505853399214913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11586510810760485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16531203221095184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309338124041047,0.0,0.12058703084683264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15739918063388006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3490966504793188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3373174022674744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11610715868099088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10510912416996046,0.0,0.0,0.09565205653784846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315816360145212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831429127016788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ChefHelvetica,2020/02/08,"My insurance is refusing to pay for more and more of my meds about six months ago i was able to get all my meds no problem but then my insurance stopped paying for my lamictal and ive been three months off of it and now today, my insurance told me they would no longer pay for my effexor which i cant go more than a day or two before becoming a wreck and im just freaking out",2.59,3.566999296296295,4.242901234567904,88.68805555555558,74.55555555555556,8.85679012345679,25.84567901234568,9.2995712137729,1.870101234567901,297,10,69,7,6,100,56,81,0.242,0.758,0.0,-0.9501,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,6,0,0,0,1,13,9,7,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,2,0,0,3,1,3,2,0,3,3,0,12,0,11,5,4,11,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,8,50,14,3,0.23390976628856675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2073468945071172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2583349595087191,0.19903998284322466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15085244838397086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12220819861620134,0.0,0.13293631063447192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2526626867090733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5196420383288836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3734090876443849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22382005613419886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19555903840324668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2217191080904762,0.2235108056715423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284958532455588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16616278677234206,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Ashappyasahuman,2020/02/09,"It’s the cyclical grieving that really gets me The hypomania comes and I genuinely believe I have cured this illness. No matter how many times I go through it, the delusion that I have personally overcome the illness and am naturally a sociable, functioning, healthy member of society.

It is the constant grieving that gets me. It’s not that I have the illness, it’s that I have to reaccept it every time. It’s the god damned delusional voice in my head that convinces me I’m cured forever followed by the drop and the grieving and the not again. It’s the glimpse of what my life could be like. I don’t know if I should feel gratitude for hypomania or if it would be better to suffer from purely MDD. I have to relearn the coping skills, relearn the discipline, relearn everything because I didn’t need it. I have to go through the most difficult process of REACCEPTING my illness. But how many fucking times have I already been here and accepted it? Why this constant delusion that I was never bipolar to begin with despite the overwhelming, life ruining episodes thus far? 

How do I find the balance of what is in my control (coping skills) and what is out of my control (brain chemistry). Between responsibility and self compassion. Between acceptance and playing the victim?

I’m so sick of it all. To hold something so beautiful and golden as the hope of stability and health and to lose it all, over and over again, until what—death?",5.231300160513643,7.219329411985019,5.676436597110754,77.01089887640451,69.48689138576779,8.681219903691815,35.93525949705725,9.23628265651192,3.589218084537185,1151,62,197,24,21,369,138,267,0.159,0.716,0.125,-0.8991,1,0,1,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,0,6,8,18,3,1,19,0,21,12,2,6,4,45,35,23,3,7,6,0,1,1,0,2,9,1,0,2,25,15,0,4,5,1,0,4,6,11,0,0,3,2,22,7,29,27,3,21,0,7,0,1,2,6,2,5,11,147,47,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17179112546263486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09489797533919188,0.0,0.0,0.1753923050850323,0.0,0.13768180003545682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1737846754172206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13410014367823914,0.0,0.3364585290875014,0.3492052798052654,0.12429374186780599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13116281914149794,0.0,0.13991056394520446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07871390796045759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422840401426441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14391893839037373,0.1626674221044963,0.0,0.17694726867633656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1597673616660052,0.1654751411432164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15462030361262938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08555485489077062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2199155742778928,0.07605489367592351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17416039524426352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31565983297920724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11543096728614585,0.12006608147846205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359293197686508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09972932850719078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16240287422432434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11984614514994993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2723258617880893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14047238537619086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11058698385221373,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,thecleverfeather,2020/02/09,Meds are not working So since this the Iowa vote I have been extremely manic and not sleeping. Today I’m now super depressed. I haven’t had anything but stability for the last 6 months. Should I up the meds or do you think it will pass? I’m not on any sort of extreme it’s just really uncomfortable to feel things right now and I keep smacking away any delusional thoughts.,1.7120570570570557,4.358519364864868,2.7653153153153163,89.88133633633635,85.08108108108108,5.991591591591593,23.087087087087088,7.3871296695380915,1.08380960960961,299,11,60,5,9,95,58,74,0.085,0.88,0.035,-0.5483,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,2,4,2,0,0,3,0,8,1,1,0,0,14,14,5,0,1,6,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,3,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,3,1,5,1,6,9,0,10,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,2,5,37,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.328226250856248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19859457174232487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22673810063630484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2078577451590148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12202403364960834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21450578045074306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1967166991293248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5361279217351342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926278316123189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15460260140720816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20609506634672384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19963121706803225,0.0,0.2415049476574673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16032936811416829,0.15463494340973405,0.0,0.19158958836618165,0.0,0.0,0.2287532490862131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17569159583533825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MrsHylander,2020/02/09,"Am I being guilted or am I just too sensitive? My sister wrote this to me earlier today. I had started setting more boundaries with my family and taking a step back from them. I had expressed to my sister and honestly my whole family that I was going to need more space over the next few months while I start some intensive therapy. 

I am so hurt by this and feel as if she was guilting me for having bipolar. I’d love your opinions on this and if maybe I am taking it too personal? 


“One thing I would say, though, as someone who had a serious relationship with a bipolar guy going through therapy and trying to get a handle on himself & his bipolar is that it was really hard for me to deal with as a partner.  He was so focused on understanding and managing his own feelings and thinking about how things affected him that I often felt he had no empathy for other people’s feelings (including mine) and zero interest in, concern for, or understanding of how his behavior impacted the people around him.  

Friends I’ve talked with who have bipolar family members have said really similar things.  I felt he was selfish or self-involved at times and, therefore, utterly unsuitable for having relationships with anyone because of his laser focus inward, and friends with bipolar parents or siblings have said the same.  “My mom can’t think about anyone but herself.  She can’t understand any feeling but her own.”  That kind of thing.

I do understand that it can be an important step, and not just for people who have bipolar but for all of us looking to feel better about our lives and relationships.  You need to understand what impact other people have on you so that you can better manage your responses to them and make healthy decisions about whether to continue relationships, but if you go too far into yourself, it may be other people deciding you aren’t good for them because you don’t express concern or empathy and don’t come across as interested in how your behavior impacts them, only on how they impact you.

This is a general statement and not about you except as something to keep in mind.  It’s also nice when you communicate to people that you are taking time and stepping back for a bit so that they don’t worry or feel hurt.”",8.712634390271624,7.891606057279239,8.750855779065803,67.8606603023071,61.21957040572792,11.990498920331854,39.284123195817706,11.20814326018867,4.566694419820434,1794,81,300,42,21,588,204,419,0.047,0.86,0.09300000000000001,0.9613,2,0,1,0,0,0,33.0,2,13,6,2,25,17,0,2,11,0,37,7,0,7,1,82,71,47,0,6,19,4,9,0,3,2,6,3,0,3,28,25,0,1,18,0,0,7,9,6,0,2,14,13,53,11,57,52,10,35,0,2,1,1,60,15,0,13,12,250,81,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06239508751887904,0.0,0.08453805402159671,0.0,0.05305841978371514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10911120585630167,0.0,0.0,0.0694571483215255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11998997763838452,0.0,0.0951243801550338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13801027724975348,0.08518107560298284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06721003794074254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08043844508500067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22065985519427006,0.0,0.2367051039041483,0.0,0.1498289256979661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12056098941633644,0.0,0.04076387732140846,0.0,0.13302706822353538,0.06544211921913938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07725518856684578,0.0,0.0,0.06989342006318873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670507986788806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06935056361578833,0.0,0.08124910765368283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.068895873829635,0.0,0.06551979815325988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07041894209617683,0.0,0.05208106069903171,0.0,0.07838474453184123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0787811429496864,0.09137977417430666,0.062277336593589264,0.0,0.0,0.1157063591140269,0.0,0.0,0.08297850870635487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05287050794290103,0.059340123955770464,0.0,0.0,0.08663547834122168,0.0,0.0,0.3245485828743155,0.0681268079833746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09996725982420784,0.0,0.0,0.3350706692512336,0.0,0.0,0.1484357718542175,0.062047143138007126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08139516512743084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06610876461107024,0.060066035290064775,0.0,0.0,0.11045037900194322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17599110358018089,0.06271205517194957,0.0,0.0,0.17845255120720474,0.0,0.20734046456960656,0.09998817241778847,0.07665735198908878,0.0,0.09099185628982527,0.0,0.07395682633696943,0.0,0.0,0.05297259952817256,0.0,0.0,0.4061242711881454,0.09385224670326173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08711006431135758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07923629952773713,0.0,0.055425409523000166,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,stilltryingeveryday,2020/02/09,"How to get professional help when the first time was a disaster Last year I finally admitted I needed help. I saw my doctor, actually two doctors, and was referred to a psychologist. This was a HUGE step for me after suffering for years with suicidal thoughts. 
The entire experience with this specialist was a complete disaster. I developed severe anxiety when I started seeing her; I would make plans to end my life before and after seeing her, I started self harming, and my mood went from very bad to extremely worse. She was supposedly one of the best and I was ""lucky"" to get in with her. 
Months passed and I finally had enough. After too much time feeling like I couldn't speak and definitely not improving, I called the clinic and begged for a new doctor.
They insisted I had to see that doctor again so she could refer me to someone else. 
I never heard back. Instead, I was discharged from the clinic without being told. CAS called me. That doctor called child services to tell them I was not emotionally available for my children and was not getting help. CAS were the ones who told me I was discharged from the clinic.
This was in October and I still have not been told officially that I was discharged.
I explained to Children's Aid what was happening and basically there is a record that a doctor called about me but they didn't feel like a follow up or house visit was necessary.
Since then, I've been seeing my family doctor. He has a psychology degree and he's been trying but he admits he can't really help. Afterall, he is primarily a family physician.
The wait for a psychologist is almost a year but I keep declining the referral because I don't want to go through my first experience with a ""professional"" again. 
I have regular nightmares about the experience and I feel like going to that doctor was the biggest mistake of my life.
I feel stuck because I don't want to go through anything like that again but my family doctor, try as he might, isn't actually helping. 
I just don't know where to go from here. I have the logical thought of trying to find a psychologist that works with me but I just can't take the risk of getting another lousy one.
It's not that easy to just try to find a new psychologist because now I feel like there's too high a risk of something happening to my kids since there's already been a call to child services. My husband says the chances are low of that happening since my previous doctor obviously did it vindictively and that I should try to get the help I need but I'm too afraid to take that chance. 

(I've already made an official complaint regarding my treatment to the hospital and the board of doctors as the communication at this clinic was awful and I feel like the doctor can abuse her power since she can manipulate my words to suit her actions. Regardless of her professional opinion, I should have been told I was being discharged instead of telling Children's Aid I was refusing treatment. ) 

This post isn't about this doctor or whether or not she did something she should or shouldn't have. The point is I don't know where to go from here.",5.814813559322038,6.998277252542376,6.382500000000004,75.57459745762715,67.15254237288136,9.764406779661016,32.377118644067785,9.948597397169383,3.252776271186441,2489,104,450,57,40,811,235,590,0.10400000000000001,0.8109999999999999,0.085,-0.8965,1,0,2,0,1,1,48.0,0,0,3,6,28,17,0,3,38,1,60,20,0,4,2,86,112,33,1,13,21,1,6,6,0,6,20,3,0,7,21,20,0,3,18,0,0,11,19,8,0,6,40,14,69,8,62,62,3,52,0,2,5,0,54,11,0,8,35,318,90,19,0.0,0.05743916401962361,0.09461615908615208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048544273176281884,0.0,0.10699458861308288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05083399504129065,0.03708596421844158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03989372263628415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03727701873949578,0.04047757102303582,0.08865623708111534,0.0,0.041251682288080106,0.0,0.05087525578664831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2475101399961633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050828845774782534,0.0,0.0,0.03870618386867472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6450581589273868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04049761462008431,0.05453185277342965,0.042937613236066666,0.0500913096035562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14226399624364486,0.13710381015188886,0.0,0.14707329341390865,0.17316545779556144,0.0,0.10621178146642596,0.08861704759353688,0.08247167342818623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12664022851843149,0.0,0.1377574086499534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12860828634853627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19496493347028684,0.05122025823989839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055937747136679074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04308996985217108,0.0,0.0,0.053285095363561207,0.03951649515966157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06848367846740379,0.1421050483071162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04587158379168189,0.03235981394215319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051428089090598636,0.0,0.0,0.038695122525007716,0.0,0.03563731818289891,0.07189247305255984,0.03738965257831982,0.0936417869120581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09855097671376063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04582790701426608,0.0,0.04642905790302547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031056605652795343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03855209515011638,0.0,0.0,0.1545245369107894,0.0,0.0505737088293109,0.05476697172628067,0.0,0.16040785673818295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04107572491893597,0.07464232487359618,0.0,0.0,0.06862674581452287,0.0,0.03871503908295723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053027674120965394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07289968484883724,0.0,0.08474479303348588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07697311997225516,0.05653647410918863,0.0,0.0,0.18529335888815132,0.0,0.16456879350728407,0.0,0.04735650700720721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0399998874785538,0.057187819150874564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04494010900046955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046731600001140385,0.0,0.03529296763899085,0.0,0.04940379229448332,0.03443777672264798,0.0,0.0,0.09365580586136783
bipolarreddit,FlechsFarkash,2020/02/09,"My self-hatred is showing here. A few depressed thoughts after a funeral of a guy I used to know. A few days ago a guy I knew in uni committed suicide at 27. You know those people who just... spark? By just being? That you look at them and you *know* there's something special about them? He was one of these rare, incredible people. 

I didn't really know him. We had a few conversations, but our paths never actually crossed even though we hung out in the same circles. I went to his funeral and it was... surreal. I don't think I am able to process the fact he chose to take his own life in such an awful way. The way he did it, his father, his mother, his family, my friends who were there... it was... it seems so unbelievable. 

And in death, I was envy of him the most. All I could think about is how jealous I am of him being so incredible, and being able to end his pain. When I heard of his death, I was so angry for his family. Since my attempt to commit suicide so many years ago, I forced myself to believe it was selfish and cowardly.  Now I'm rethinking it all. 

According to his family, he was in an endless pain for over a decade, and in the last two years, it became unbearable for him. They weren't angry, they were sad. They said he fought hard, but he couldn't take it anymore. And... I was jealous. I was jealous of him being able to end it, to be brave enough to say goodbye to all those he loved for weeks before he did what he did. 

I shouldn't feel this way. I want to carry with me other things I learned from his existence. I want to learn humility, carrying for other, his intelligence, his will to always be there for others, his will to give... 

His mom said the moment he was born she felt he was special, it was like he was trying to say something, trying to say things none of us could understand. She said it felt like he came from the future, a gentle soul that cannot be understood, and therefore, has no real place in this world. She said this was his source of misery. His loneliness. 

I keep thinking... If the world was only slightly fair, I'd replace him in his death and misery. I was never half the person he was, and I probably never will. Why dis he deserve not to be able to conquer his illness, or at least keep it in bay, but I am?",2.1888864628820954,3.9534526375545873,3.715674672489083,88.81674344978168,77.20960698689957,6.76340611353712,22.585371179039306,7.645422480735847,0.8839378165938867,1740,51,372,25,40,576,210,458,0.20800000000000002,0.701,0.091,-0.9971,0,0,2,0,0,4,84.0,4,3,5,2,18,16,4,0,19,1,48,5,0,3,9,64,82,22,7,7,8,3,4,2,1,4,4,8,0,3,28,15,0,2,18,1,0,3,12,9,0,3,38,13,66,7,55,29,12,41,1,2,1,1,75,17,0,4,20,267,94,2,0.3385976876791522,0.0,0.08260562496780048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15007321015607086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07043510016106945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08394948056623079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07203042332921622,0.0953709110687868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09681638781292964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13517135083359905,0.0,0.0,0.054591874266311714,0.0,0.07290842306150044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14994852508275647,0.08746548105994617,0.0,0.055910144830308164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393998241410549,0.0,0.042801291153189286,0.0,0.16255343969004696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06539993339325821,0.0,0.0,0.08120343884436247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.167632472527492,0.0,0.0,0.07582925519919745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15048059121661106,0.0,0.0,0.18608443405393066,0.0690005768724692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059790390082762934,0.08271086348509975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07108419491093339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07639940821669508,0.0,0.0,0.08582122757453048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09914037987615973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1958605579676136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05736063903710668,0.06437969981903957,0.18014590630131594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11737050160594455,0.07391261013994725,0.0884406291951302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09126639395671593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963495742616331,0.054228587254143985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3220839390731566,0.20194985366889004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07706165450582847,0.08830780841528019,0.0,0.0,0.0700228765550384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13033452118086328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851854568462318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12729166106628095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124746291335765,0.16271979471705209,0.0831676272476016,0.06720218557212848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11494280189909548,0.0,0.08269018517355807,0.08812303354070254,0.10182283196108613,0.07310992189655975,0.0,0.0,0.09985684447837503,0.2015723130409828,0.06790066028963535,0.0,0.0,0.07847086218591155,0.07638293690728351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10902290475205707
bipolarreddit,snodgrjl,2020/02/09,Whenever I am feeling happy... Feeling happy means I'm going to be in a mild mixed state 3 hours later.  Yep.,0.006212121212122668,2.347641136363638,3.360909090909089,84.0280303030303,92.1818181818182,4.751515151515153,20.96969696969697,6.42735559955562,0.7697696969696972,83,3,15,1,3,30,19,22,0.0,0.611,0.389,0.7845,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,2,2,6,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,6,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3567587653663414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2004966172548205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7510952763979821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3474234992967127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.384287766800771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,IaMaMeSs_,2020/02/09,"Anyone else? Does anyone else when they’re in a depressive episode just completely shut down. Like you can’t do things you are usually good at,  it’s almost as if any memory or ability you had about something just disappears? 
Even if it’s something you really want to do and you normally can, you just can’t seem to do it no matter how hard you are trying at it? 
Being in a depressive episode always makes me feel like I’m learning how to ride a bike again, I know how to, I’ve done it a hundred times before, but no matter how hard I try to remember how to... I just can’t. It’s there in my brain, but I can’t access it, I’m just forever searching for parts of me, for the things that make me, me.",2.6820222634508326,3.744630448979596,4.391886209029067,87.37703153988869,74.4421768707483,8.33865182436611,24.24799010513297,8.841846274778883,1.5274272108843534,544,16,121,11,11,184,82,147,0.095,0.8270000000000001,0.078,-0.5125,0,0,2,0,0,0,18.0,0,7,0,0,15,5,0,0,5,0,13,1,1,7,0,28,21,13,0,4,10,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,10,1,0,0,5,1,0,2,6,2,0,0,2,3,16,3,17,18,1,13,0,2,0,0,7,7,0,5,6,84,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15903655673890787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13215201665397813,0.0,0.0,0.10800390744929947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221030446632786,0.3254623123646301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13514520007251946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17729705878669946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16652107624888626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27358504826728697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13898556061237816,0.16252929721954196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.265349577361239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10489994865975964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08030480439941715,0.11346194453840658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13321174313599302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2845453182582922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08728401454639087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15518409690271462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21202885734361807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556111202452756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17198795462555516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017449701859348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17991353461558432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14458491613342125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2445367405497303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21102758466191315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09260995771666884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21565842933549026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1749191869761544,0.0,0.09367689791270936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,RinzenKali,2020/02/09,"Feel like bipolar is chipping away at my IQ Ever since I've had my first psychosis (more than a month ago) and been put on medication (quetiapine, aka Seroquel) I haven't been the same. Studying seems impossible. I am easily distracted and cannot retain new information easily. My memory is failing me continuously and even as I am writing this, I fail to find the correct words. Language used to come so easily to me.

I've been quick to learn and a bright student all my life. But now I feel like what I've been working for, getting a bachelor's degree, is slipping through my fingers. My brain just doesn't work like it used to. And it is frustrating beyond belief.

My psychiatrist has already agreed to get me on lithium instead of quetiapine, to see if the brain fog was caused by the medication. But a part of me is afraid. Scared that psychosis did not only hurt me as it was happening, but wrecked something in my brain beyond repair. That this disorder will keep chipping away at me, episode after episode, until I am left with vague memories of the bright individual I *used to be*. And that loved ones can only observe as I slip into this new persona they hardly recognise.

Usually, I try to end every post on a positive note, so you're not left with the bitter taste of hopelessness. So I guess I'll say: human brains are incredibly adaptive. Maybe I can learn to learn again. Maybe this is a lesson in itself. Maybe I was never meant to be an academic, and this will push me onto another path that will bring more happiness in my future.",4.573450257921884,6.348584938983053,5.572173913043481,77.95753868828301,70.79661016949153,8.655858511422256,29.77523949889462,9.20300075937882,2.6902675018422992,1227,50,224,26,23,404,169,295,0.083,0.802,0.115,0.8284,0,0,1,0,0,1,37.0,0,0,1,6,13,16,2,3,13,0,30,11,5,4,4,43,46,18,0,1,7,0,4,3,0,3,4,1,0,1,14,11,1,2,11,0,0,4,6,9,0,2,10,10,29,7,40,31,5,37,1,4,3,1,6,16,0,3,19,157,43,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09289312982257264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11564225171732975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10988513954889154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19691391737417668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4679368884764378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10765180852397528,0.0,0.09027033572780213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12010244921278293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09281595157943197,0.0,0.0,0.06921512955869237,0.09479173554721852,0.0882930576667931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10597350164048866,0.14972901877538394,0.0,0.0,0.09577937592074927,0.08913731191229195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095005747389949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11544187335328172,0.0,0.09266856087855954,0.11155464733121648,0.09387440756738012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121836271959515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09314529276161196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.227716925392858,0.0,0.07401876007482314,0.15359045704695978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09458024038348446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3158375186932293,0.0,0.0,0.21113688681041384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0836451853738461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08082322052232963,0.20242046319753146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07101079910582737,0.15940038350639302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113481166712037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10036322155387267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10534642861374592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08333601071550023,0.10491659175953397,0.0,0.08350686527970959,0.09540008198542003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08668628005774731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08067516903133969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0711479191247979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2715238566160788,0.1154152537111776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15258185672618965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Enyaom,2020/02/09,"Lithium for Bipolar Hi, I hope this question is okay. I've started taking Lithium 450mg/2x a day a few days ago for Bipolar 2. So far, I've felt mild thirst, mild headache, and drowsiness. So I googled the common side effects of Lithium and there are varying contentions as regards to the kind of side effects that are considered as normal/okay and which side effects are alarming. Considering that I live alone and have no support system in my close proximity, i would really want to be prepared to notice lithium intoxication as early as possible. 

So if anybody can share their experiences with taking Lithium, that would be really useful. For instance, what side effects have you experienced? How long have you felt such side effects? What did you do to deal with the side effects? Etc...

Thank you so much everyone! ❤️ Light and love",5.276367804381046,7.741351827814571,5.272450331125833,77.95002037697405,70.45695364238411,7.295160468670403,34.79419256240448,8.139509932561175,2.9943770759042287,670,35,109,10,13,209,93,151,0.036000000000000004,0.813,0.151,0.9533,0,1,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,4,1,6,7,8,0,1,5,1,14,5,1,8,0,24,25,15,0,5,1,0,2,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,7,8,1,0,9,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,4,10,7,16,18,3,17,0,0,0,1,10,9,0,3,7,69,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15970284481107733,0.0,0.0,0.18659361735019145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323793197954976,0.18573922993309114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2009283822105992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17215262180131635,0.0,0.1762331191161554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34596776766924153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17894163157492246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876111189419288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15908644849066084,0.15943780262706264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16260334301372215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324398844290383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17652062090815146,0.0,0.20511576232109688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20310571509162104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20182280111951584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23083292869036254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12751967246482995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2044458333705457,0.0,0.0,0.2709189784355415,0.0,0.0,0.1658690701806722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15560222239070892,0.0,0.0,0.10626428341520154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25596399514311124,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Valentinya,2020/02/09,"ECT experiences? I was wondering if any of you have had any experience with ECT? I'm on 350 lamictal and 20mg cipralex and I'm in a severe depressive episode with daily suicidal thoughts and I don't really see any other option at this point. I know seroquel is an option but I've already gained weight because of my depression and gaining more would just make me more depressed.   
I'm going to my GP next week to ask for ECT.  
I'm definitely not scared of ECT, I just don't know exactly how it will affect me on the treatment day and the days after. I was in a psych ward with someone who got ECT and she was FUCKED UP on the treatment day and had to be wheeled around in a wheelchair. I know I will be under anaesthesia and maybe that's what messed her up. But obviously... getting your brain electro shocked will also mess up a person.

So. Have any of you tried it? What were your results? What should I expect? Do I need someone to take care of me on the treatment day? What is the treatment experience like? 

Any and all input is greatly appreciated. :)",1.6514872408293468,4.180351315789476,3.219647129186601,87.48982157097291,83.688995215311,6.162759170653907,24.976275917065397,7.492282038375204,1.389932854864434,831,34,166,14,24,273,120,209,0.14300000000000002,0.727,0.13,-0.4824,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,4,0,2,6,11,1,1,10,0,21,3,1,4,3,37,40,15,1,5,6,0,1,1,0,5,0,0,0,1,10,13,1,0,5,0,0,1,3,8,0,0,8,2,20,3,27,25,3,22,0,3,1,1,9,14,1,4,8,109,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13837878835488576,0.10027999404848588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4263715487636045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11162998077693073,0.11722933598222425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07644089186449524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399846048747881,0.0,0.0,0.1278506732960687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3234829532181841,0.0,0.32401294592896285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3679871978929676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11592757345380465,0.06551479511824056,0.0,0.07126604641595302,0.0,0.10029149459383313,0.13825071577659348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20674485586692187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06126267586286376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08370352001441604,0.0,0.12597821443501905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09298034079859116,0.0,0.0,0.13336120983415192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10949188743501713,0.0,0.0,0.11854076598971255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08033257599952721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12554434586327626,0.0,0.09992523204206348,0.0,0.0,0.14166299973833116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2124970662071756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371640451962011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09428299310832276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09955126904757787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08513638135070613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1005859682010872,0.15269985286020468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13598777668933595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890784829081237,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ladyraven13,2020/02/09,My ex has BP1 and would go several days without showering. Why? It got to the point that I refused to do his laundry and change his bedding because I felt like I was defeating the purpose. The worst part of it was that he would want sex all the time and be mad because I rejected him. Sorry but I'm not going to have an infection because of someone who shouldn't have to be told to take a shower regularly. What was up with that?,2.9463961038961024,4.429635522727274,4.465129870129871,85.44090909090913,74.45454545454545,7.755844155844157,29.61688311688312,8.418075326091056,2.1559201298701294,338,15,70,6,7,113,63,88,0.134,0.833,0.033,-0.7789,2,1,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,0,5,1,0,6,0,12,2,0,0,1,14,20,4,0,4,3,1,1,1,0,3,1,0,3,0,7,4,0,1,1,0,0,2,3,4,0,0,6,1,8,1,10,9,3,6,0,2,0,1,8,2,0,0,3,51,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41721210555850463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2413395709911605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14713002505657544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21904809072829212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2593119690678727,0.0,0.182462661055273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11145661859537292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2470510347940618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2156639871966104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577308076822473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19330044049908848,0.0,0.0,0.2553816194302527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17153125381639636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13302900157135636,0.0,0.0,0.21799547034971206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13456160122386726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20585890431680007,0.0,0.0,0.219916724130249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32412513344241906,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,williamson6195,2020/02/09,"Meds and alcohol Hoo boy. I’m not suggesting anyone drink on their meds and not looking to be preached at!

I recently started trileptal, and yes my doctor knows I drink. Not heavily. Last night, I took my meds at 7 because I was going to a party. Had two beers. By 9 I couldn’t even finish my second and was literally fighting sleep and felt like insanely restless. I’m also on Geodon and duloxetine. Has this happened to anyone else? Do I need to quit drinking? Or would i have felt insanely tired anyway?",2.200974025974024,4.8175681326530615,3.898831168831169,82.97798701298706,81.95918367346941,6.828942486085343,26.25602968460111,8.00094639256281,2.008273469387756,399,17,73,8,11,133,68,98,0.079,0.83,0.092,0.3031,0,0,5,0,2,0,13.0,0,0,1,1,3,3,1,1,1,1,9,8,1,0,0,16,20,8,0,3,4,0,2,1,0,1,3,0,0,1,1,6,5,0,3,4,0,2,4,2,0,2,6,3,11,1,9,11,0,11,1,0,1,0,4,4,0,1,6,46,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632824159529882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12218339325345495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21366389412412345,0.15654793286578936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09313729662577168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563835648973498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4490181208954128,0.0,0.0,0.12763360378320476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10091411199718044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2933982029235587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08683214889950262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13510869069726494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08396752269219078,0.12454147567515853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07464381791937537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12830226836727365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.509134426454973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11328933205901062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14337987925477005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16250736187132295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15085834066151202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15289694620353267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10814314579256178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1756057272554757,0.0,0.0,0.16975154050794355,0.0,0.0,0.14925031285464546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10853522091676653,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Cyrus_Palma_,2020/02/09,"Self Hatred I can't stop hating myself. Its terrible, I want to stop eventually but I don't know how to. I hate everything about myself. Does anyone have any thoughts or answers on how to deal with this better?",1.1713008130081342,3.818987146341467,2.9042682926829286,86.4113617886179,92.17073170731709,5.660162601626017,19.028455284552845,7.1686216300943375,0.7926552845528452,167,5,31,3,6,55,32,41,0.20600000000000002,0.573,0.222,-0.3068,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,3,4,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,11,8,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,2,3,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,6,1,6,7,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,2,21,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855406349770283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19077615296696968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24130491049918354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28128617924306426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23876422416257825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2452111034428185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5387462566039534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14994579237685327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2846317452228153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4562131079218691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2166045755798947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16092816946980826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,skinfit123,2020/02/09,"Why does a few cans of sugar free red bull make me feel really great? I developed a habit the past week of drinking around 3 sugar free red bulls a day. Sometimes even 4. The caffeine content is 80mg, and the healthy maximum daily intake limit for caffeine for adults is 400mg. So I’m not exceeding the caffeine limit. I know energy drinks are unhealthy, that’s just common wisdom but what is it about sugar free red bull that significantly improves my mood? I feel positive, energetic, and just overall happy. Is it just the caffeine? I’m asking because if it’s caused by other ingredients I might be able to find supplements instead of consuming red bull everyday.",3.937133333333332,6.524579400000004,5.1813,76.46848333333334,75.0,8.006666666666666,28.816666666666666,8.841846274778883,2.7825066666666665,535,23,89,12,12,177,85,125,0.016,0.726,0.257,0.986,0,0,2,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,8,7,0,0,8,0,8,5,0,2,0,18,15,5,0,1,6,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,7,3,5,2,4,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,9,6,9,9,13,1,6,0,0,4,0,2,1,0,2,5,50,13,0,0.22711347791013625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20217914619349664,0.2123204437800524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13844626814292976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333081031004649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14646940462279254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1987485350098798,0.0,0.0,0.44496949069573466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15000631020142124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2296707968556793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20757760430229674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25039341117693564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2417665203933015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248156279288428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15160001007007426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24093150961734666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2168055130909091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14549470952220256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22462103692971785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18217673270570608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20493458857216848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,helphelphelphelp007,2020/02/09,"Checking back in after a long time Hey guys, so my wife came home end of the summer and was still manic through Halloween. She is now “down” from her mania, after 11 years on the same meds she finally changed to Vraylar and it’s working well. She is a bit depressed but honestly, I think she’s finally back at baseline and life is just slow and boring to her. She is still smoking a ton of weed, won’t stop or even discuss it, and to deal with the East Coast winters she is headed out to CA for 8 days next week. She is showing odd little signs but maybe I’m hyper vigilant. Anyone have a perspective on what I should be expecting and how best to tackle it.",6.243294243070366,5.2515266343283615,6.581684434968017,81.97067164179107,66.23880597014926,9.44818763326226,32.575692963752665,8.418075326091056,2.3232230277185497,515,18,107,6,7,167,96,134,0.078,0.826,0.096,0.5499,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,10,5,0,0,7,0,11,2,1,1,0,20,14,11,0,2,4,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,4,9,0,1,1,1,1,1,1,2,1,0,2,0,12,3,19,9,4,29,0,1,0,0,14,8,0,1,20,75,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12575962613119018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2765966081827808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1887479694843303,0.0,0.19635637123086716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2057075609387647,0.0,0.0,0.19026399521913265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11599235993081487,0.18542382885560815,0.15490986824309005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15929919540449766,0.0,0.0,0.1187933136588248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39404731783899016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17808589969496713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18458433390172355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18041041772253052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12703774215649796,0.0,0.18026314687606,0.0,0.1591670636197016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18068971173676898,0.0,0.1997796754070807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19127909273733332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2872667626894729,0.15036782374560195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11524458081200675,0.0,0.0,0.10487558760061602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14426978252174746,0.0,0.16171230980748205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13093744445966873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158214860604924
bipolarreddit,heyuhhhdrigs,2020/02/09,How has Wellbutrin worked for you? I've looked up the side effects and all but what's you're experience?,1.134285714285717,3.771838619047621,1.7495238095238117,94.98714285714287,91.38095238095238,4.704761904761905,21.285714285714285,6.42735559955562,0.2668285714285723,85,3,18,1,3,26,20,21,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,1,5,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,2,1,2,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,10,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6606935256694819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.567185406236577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4917161580532806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,alaska_something,2020/02/09,"I’m working towards big fucking goals and I have never felt more determined I was only diagnosed last year but since I’ve found medications that at least keep my head above water when I transcend into the pit of despair.

I graduated last spring but it was never a goal of mine to get that degree so I currently am taking a few classes while working and I love it.

So I have decided I am going to follow my dream of becoming a doctor; my undergrad wasn’t in science so I’m going to be doing pre-Med for a couple of years but for the first time I feel like I have the drive and the right reasons to succeed. 

I just submitted my application for a program that will help get me to the gates of medical school and I am scared shitless because if I do get in I will be cemented into this path but I know for certain this is what I want to do. 

I’m 26 and the last 16 years have been stolen by this illness but no fucking longer, I have a lot of time to make up for and Now I know exactly who I am and what I want. I’m not telling anyone in my life about my goals, I want them to be just mine until completed. 

This group has helped me a lot in the past year, and I’m extremely grateful for the opportunity to interact with such a diverse and supportive collection of people.",4.157774064171125,4.543845200757573,5.752834224598932,81.47719251336902,70.47727272727272,9.090552584670233,29.923351158645268,9.168548406835145,2.379888859180036,999,38,210,19,17,342,139,264,0.07200000000000001,0.787,0.141,0.9536,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,8,9,10,2,1,16,0,23,11,1,2,4,39,49,21,0,4,9,0,2,1,0,2,6,0,1,0,12,12,1,1,7,1,0,4,5,4,0,1,6,2,32,6,35,38,5,34,0,1,0,3,8,11,2,3,20,152,44,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08898126349592983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0775748693182755,0.14054569047248036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13342685856280634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14080778269957991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291634814172734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13025323957149432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06434511486402024,0.09091264101344172,0.122186965236191,0.0,0.0,0.10824499492569524,0.0,0.13953106174270585,0.0,0.2352946477130448,0.1994600617188128,0.0,0.14464651321305505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13060270420171385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1705957723173593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11311213593981753,0.0,0.0,0.13987456874550575,0.31119505451263885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08988559489643544,0.06217148908432491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21637921250144007,0.11485468229572585,0.0,0.08494523635475718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2563966845209376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19629735085406985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09678491157990617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12148149293663606,0.08822418908406493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13084169974438614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10867703943525868,0.0,0.0,0.12740675816886413,0.12879118220348285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10526855414050576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444100767133509,0.0,0.0,0.09568165272429482,0.0,0.11122848986296496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484095107732898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22517895914364985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852896610044843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3277981173031753
bipolarreddit,eggeggseggs,2020/02/09,lithium and alcohol? i really would like to get drunk but i recently started lithium and don’t really know what will happen. i am also prescribed trazodone and klonopin but i wouldn’t take it if i was drinking. overall is 600mg of lithium and alcohol safe?,2.550680272108842,5.41563430612245,4.211326530612244,79.4152210884354,83.48979591836735,7.348299319727893,32.656462585034014,8.344100000000001,3.3723034013605435,207,12,34,5,6,69,35,49,0.037000000000000005,0.83,0.133,0.6596,0,0,3,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,7,4,0,0,0,11,12,8,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,2,4,4,1,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,5,2,2,8,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,24,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6182824981814995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313288089722688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2833740995069446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15113143622083844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2558001678343238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15897501697668065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413225237623996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3706270488739721,0.0,0.28561884998863024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2047465244545445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2174947526576788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20548883704789173,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,TayVaughn21,2020/02/10,"Dating sites. This cycle is vicious. I went on a dating site last month when I was manic. I started talking to a few people and went on a couple of dates. Shortly after that I got depressed, blew everyone off and dissapeared. Now a week later I want to talk and date again because I'm bored. 

Anyone else go through this?",1.8352380952380971,4.337793476190477,3.4660317460317493,86.24285714285719,82.49206349206351,4.8698412698412685,23.285714285714285,6.1826913282559595,0.7093238095238101,251,9,46,2,7,83,48,63,0.136,0.8420000000000001,0.022000000000000002,-0.765,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,1,0,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,9,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,4,0,5,0,8,5,1,22,0,1,0,0,2,6,0,0,13,29,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17620967378985064,0.258211714205032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15362158144100627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27884177501817664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2170539002832936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21052013284187654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2408041985546081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14322180820278888,0.0,0.2015536138942263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20541994605113384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2011501766392274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17471043867103875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17837237798956782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4051085568275619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14864069646473246,0.0,0.20214541103494,0.0,0.0,0.4672274061304981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Matbell87,2020/02/10,All alone when depressed What do you do if you don’t have anyone around to help when you’re in deep depression? How do you survive it?,3.568928571428572,4.555249464285719,3.7771428571428594,92.91785714285713,72.21428571428571,7.028571428571429,24.714285714285715,7.1686216300943375,0.7436571428571428,107,3,24,1,2,33,21,28,0.275,0.6459999999999999,0.079,-0.7691,0,1,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,3,0,1,4,2,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,1,4,5,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,3,5,1,5,0,2,0,0,4,3,0,1,2,18,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4311416263554175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2910733907639947,0.0,0.0,0.3705783932288289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7170845206756999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.279024414508834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jaffababy,2020/02/10,"HELP? I think I’m manic but keep convincing myself I’m not!

The cycle won’t stop, I have plenty of commitments which get me up in the morning. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt so bad for so long.",-0.9188372093023248,0.9964413023255858,2.3081860465116293,93.83158139534883,89.4651162790698,5.300465116279073,15.576744186046513,6.742157984588678,-0.2938241860465114,148,3,35,2,5,53,33,43,0.239,0.609,0.153,-0.7396,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,3,10,9,3,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,1,4,2,4,7,0,5,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,19,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3218393251677108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3486666575800101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37009782311775496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20138464169335346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2583627633508244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3426106475318746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3411160760580892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32225814081767795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3632873409352973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24698438420324745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,trollwizard7,2020/02/10,"Hypomanic but able to sleep? I'm feeling pretty hypo (and have been for the past week), but I'm still able to sleep if I take my med for sleep.  Does anyone know if you can be considered hypo but able to sleep?",3.2446969696969674,3.830423772727276,4.611818181818184,88.12106060606064,72.63636363636363,7.684848484848485,21.484848484848484,7.793537801064563,0.5913575757575762,162,3,37,2,3,54,29,44,0.0,0.8590000000000001,0.141,0.7514,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,4,4,4,0,0,8,9,6,0,2,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,5,7,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,3,20,3,0,0.5314758860060272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12387343230842485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15503270979888925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08957672567608152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09736174921790748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19678329889691354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16911795698092236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802340150327132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7091462820463422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14147910969993432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332012410954729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14210596587426194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,caeis,2020/02/10,Lamictal Double Dose So I thought my lamictal tablets were 100mg and I've been taking 2 for several weeks. Just discovered they're 200mg... Any advice 😅,0.8810000000000002,3.3753717666666674,2.8766666666666687,85.12500000000001,98.0,7.733333333333332,26.0,8.238735603445708,2.7952,123,6,23,4,5,41,27,30,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,3,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,2,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,9,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4589912606015098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3194161824334674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5306340760740925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3531604514230672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3728940921104287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3767698156963419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jordangimp,2020/02/10,"Major Depression since 14- diagnosed with bipolar at 20 Hey I’m pretty new to reddit so I apologize if I don’t follow protocol or whatever lol. But anyways yeah I got diagnosed with bipolar II today. I’ve had depression & anxiety for years now and I’ve tried so many meds, none seemed to work. Some even made things worse. 2019 was really up and down and I noticed mood swings a lot more often then before. So anyways, guess I’m just wondering if anyone’s got any tips ? How long do meds usually take to work? I’m continuing my antidepressants that I’m on along with a mood stabilizer so I’m hoping things will get better. Any tips or advice would be really appreciated. Thank you guys :) Jordan",1.9736993464052264,4.733220051851856,4.027058823529416,80.33470588235295,85.51851851851852,7.917211328976035,22.015250544662308,8.671277953709913,2.1008387799564274,557,19,102,16,17,189,95,135,0.084,0.74,0.177,0.9114,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,0,3,11,7,0,0,2,2,7,4,0,2,0,23,23,14,0,4,6,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,3,7,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,5,0,6,3,12,15,5,13,0,2,0,0,4,4,0,11,8,54,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14426167659814976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15995632172237156,0.0,0.20078601910652985,0.0,0.1129360364393966,0.0,0.0,0.10322586289369652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12562168982939273,0.0,0.0,0.1305661489624286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25430585812112044,0.2996813328968263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09750778278906196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07713023384485214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361453292103286,0.0,0.1626303552917434,0.14617625092202782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.146629239223365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306473149757931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12550918050147358,0.0,0.13969044536946695,0.0,0.14967297334725665,0.0,0.0,0.3279658188710827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14258133072473214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16807697525251553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15019210639311506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18915026326558068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13439620111387654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12212051065360033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11099888647919827,0.0,0.0,0.1359172561310622,0.0,0.0,0.19615673935603767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13993534679778294,0.0,0.0,0.10023062714968653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625928544982499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1600977152895002,0.21495182683423344,0.0,0.15044690368437744,0.10487164318911726,0.0,0.0,0.09506845088544176
bipolarreddit,GearsBeast23,2020/02/10,Does porn make mania worse? Sometimes when I look at it if feel like I'm triggering my mania. Is this accurate?,1.076666666666668,3.6839709090909127,2.824545454545458,87.87348484848488,89.9090909090909,6.56969696969697,20.96969696969697,7.793537801064563,1.3520424242424252,88,3,17,2,3,29,20,22,0.14400000000000002,0.7509999999999999,0.10400000000000001,-0.2406,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,4,5,2,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,1,5,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,2,8,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39380997675503904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275404222892769,0.3214898407027181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2198539377930422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3778981262559839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3003876050648215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4450750055973378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4586023539872142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,electric-magnolia,2020/02/10,"Hair loss? Hi, I’ve been on 800mg or lithium for about three months and have noticed considerable hair loss and thinning.  I also take seroquel, lamotrigine, and olanzapine, but prior to the lithium, I didn’t notice a change in my hair.
Help!  Anyone have success with supplements or vitamins helping with hair improvement?  

Thanks!",5.217368421052633,8.420894859649124,5.297456140350878,74.00302631578948,74.08771929824562,8.010526315789475,32.30701754385965,8.841846274778883,3.413575438596492,265,13,40,6,6,83,45,57,0.049,0.652,0.299,0.9633,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,3,2,4,0,0,2,0,4,5,4,0,0,9,6,7,0,0,3,0,5,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,2,5,3,2,7,4,0,5,0,2,0,0,3,3,0,2,2,24,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23811289814071565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20819576090995265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3149831029005463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3991550044381904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23766353561564485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6779873332747426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2238731358873951,0.0,0.0,0.2741308792946637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Ceruleanblus,2020/02/10,"What's the biggest damage you've done while manic? I somehow managed to throw away 200K USD in the pursuit of various 'business' projects as well as frivolous spending. All under the assumption that I would be successful and have multi-millions in return. Rejecting several viable stable job offers in the process.

Lost several of my oldest friends due to my actions and using very choice cutting words during arguments. 

And of course every single romantic relationship has ended in flames because I am not healthy enough to be in a relationship, and the people I attracted are just as broken.  --- I don't really blame them, even if they weren't good people, fact is that I'm not that great either. 

I feel like every manic episode digs a deeper hole each time. It makes the following depression and fight to climb out that much harder. 

I used to think that I was so special, so smart, so witty. Now I know that I'm just sick in the head. Perhaps it is time to resign myself to a life of mediocrity. I used to have dreams and goals, but now I think that was just me being manic.",6.179683257918551,6.986048039215689,6.494705882352942,76.44848416289595,66.15686274509804,9.218099547511313,31.378582202111613,9.265573868473778,2.817675414781297,856,32,149,15,13,276,133,204,0.125,0.7709999999999999,0.10400000000000001,-0.3476,1,0,0,0,1,0,23.0,0,0,2,5,11,16,2,0,10,0,16,3,1,4,2,29,28,15,0,2,8,0,1,1,1,1,2,0,0,0,10,8,0,0,4,1,1,4,4,7,1,0,5,1,17,9,24,19,7,23,0,5,0,0,7,10,0,2,10,106,27,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14769399527748867,0.0,0.0,0.09582728497469907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13539559847132926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16086954755411387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13923199433587582,0.16242898497070318,0.0,0.10382871007280953,0.0,0.264894520732022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07948473149862709,0.1123032708241404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12145185357110146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318513844198509,0.0,0.17331287502721013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613319192669982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15599613164123194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08639266993087269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11103457334773573,0.07679967822235755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17160169657570232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049318090116692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11555963430261965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21796451823422455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10070595024852014,0.0,0.0,0.3375466148286061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3551811161586169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2014540347440408,0.0,0.0,0.1833284491073876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40730938403483,0.0,0.12970595445607142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14134112445442418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11166993161045842,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bipolarguyborn1990,2020/02/10,"I fear I’m losing my wife - help I have been married a little over 2 years. My wife is my world. She has taught me how to live a somewhat normal life being bp2. I have lost all of her trust because I just don’t follow thru on things because I’m so overwhelmed with my life. I have lost my job 4x and caused us to consider bankruptcy. 

She has her fair share of problems to deal with but I can’t help but blame myself. We are going into marriage counceling but I can’t sleep anymore. I have vivid dreams of her leaving me that I can’t recognize where I am when I wake up during the night.

My heart feels shattered and broken that I have lost her. Her parents are the only family I have. 

Can you just tell me that there is a fighting chance that I can win her back? 

When I was sick and diagnosed 12 years ago I lost trust with my friends and family and it took almost a year to get their trust back. I can’t wait that long to win my wife back.",1.7955039905409398,3.3591300402010056,2.9692639668932905,94.6238811705587,77.74371859296483,5.8883830919302405,20.75110848359445,6.522977012572876,0.07820342890925147,734,18,168,6,17,236,110,199,0.154,0.657,0.18899999999999997,0.8611,2,0,0,0,2,0,14.0,2,1,1,7,11,16,1,2,6,0,23,7,3,2,1,24,36,12,0,2,5,4,1,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,7,10,0,1,1,1,0,3,5,9,0,0,8,2,41,7,16,27,2,21,0,6,1,0,24,7,0,2,11,114,48,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11224025199769422,0.0,0.12679080589323005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12557219032004713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2920869716257464,0.0,0.15437173822964273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13007276361359527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13053880159874146,0.0,0.12851578943929504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2387305641191303,0.1424817653724853,0.06402245543844404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978256545196555,0.0,0.06615328887115733,0.0,0.07196059068415289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15004432283068814,0.16974031757121466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12564998583083758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13407141574605558,0.0,0.0,0.17886972479500274,0.0,0.12690566962643687,0.11180704444640836,0.11205397853738724,0.0,0.14165446021647182,0.5528791135122126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11882351104010133,0.12405990010358366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09629958236663473,0.0,0.0,0.1405956008553631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12115744275966595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267106100914702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106707331362463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0841201484540187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14067855373053534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15230726798668226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24461577699642134
bipolarreddit,abekayne3,2020/02/10,"My Mania vs Depression Howdy folks. I recently started to notice myself slipping back into a depressive state. For the past month or so I have been very focused on school and productivity. Of course I became obsessed with being successful and stayed up several nights completing pointless tasks that made me feel “organized”. Woke up the last few mornings with constant thoughts of loneliness. I’ve begun feeling like my success may be paying off however feeling hopeless in finding a significant other and telling myself I’ll be forever alone. Of course, I’ve learned to recognize these thoughts as symptoms of depression and remembering this can help me check into reality. But I definitely feel a crash coming on...",8.009826958105647,10.307286303278687,7.783551912568302,63.40234061930784,63.016393442622956,10.995992714025505,41.42440801457195,10.980518767755715,5.5581282331511845,587,34,80,17,9,187,92,122,0.158,0.677,0.165,-0.0276,1,1,0,1,0,1,11.0,0,0,0,2,2,8,0,1,5,0,7,1,0,1,0,23,17,8,0,0,3,0,4,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,9,0,0,9,0,2,1,0,5,0,0,5,4,10,3,18,8,1,20,0,4,0,0,2,8,0,2,10,53,14,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17761891123099718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318704141038639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14772926388723426,0.17981107844443114,0.18532706031225504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4431296958021699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3468556367422558,0.12251731173872694,0.0,0.0,0.1567449216431034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11495065584567347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397927397857244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08378464891674291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16227437050377716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13688706886224405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16093808141032484,0.0,0.0,0.19525018538771494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16371305216403526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16933235009682307,0.0,0.1942723853023024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1735638657432721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937425117397392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12138628161770415,0.18279271604526287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1782507871236948,0.0,0.0,0.14989571763462306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27229852463638793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415027785018679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,moderatelybipolar,2020/02/10,"What do we do about irritability? My bugbear has been irritability. Despite lithium (ER, 450 mg 2x d) and lamotrigine (100 mg) keeping me steady I find that when I get to work my anxiety shoots up, and with that so does my irritability. 

I tried buspar to stem the anxiety but that just made everything feel WEIRD. The latest attempt has been fluoxetine (20 mg), and that turned me into a zombie.

What other options, other than benzos are there? I guess we could try bringing the lamotrigine up again but that also shuts me down...",5.649602356406483,7.220095020618563,6.723564064801178,71.53907216494845,67.86597938144331,9.25419734904271,30.3519882179676,9.606745405546679,2.9157287187039773,415,16,73,9,7,139,67,97,0.11599999999999999,0.884,0.0,-0.8079,0,0,0,1,0,0,19.0,2,0,0,2,7,1,0,0,4,0,8,0,0,1,0,17,15,8,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,9,7,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,3,1,12,0,9,11,0,9,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,2,3,53,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2217007283880976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42416037768607706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22134559414205396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2426058385373811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24915644535135234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14017581627947795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533831947532897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448412311521295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30540009680959257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2464147592243268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2623217262403422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37644194012720705,0.30154662806711857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20182673956165936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,glutenfreeaf,2020/02/10,"lamictal itching hi all! i’ve been taking lamictal since monday with no major side effects but today i started itching really badly. i’m not sure if it’s in my head or what because of the rash, but i don’t have any rash on my skin other than redness where i’m itchy. it’s mostly on my scalp and arms and stomach - do you think that i should stop the medication immediately?",1.7261842105263163,4.062584250000004,4.1071052631578935,82.53723684210526,81.5,6.43157894736842,23.97368421052632,7.645422480735847,1.411163157894736,297,11,57,5,8,103,58,76,0.264,0.736,0.0,-0.966,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,2,0,5,10,9,1,2,15,10,6,0,2,5,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,5,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,2,7,1,6,8,3,9,0,0,1,0,2,5,0,3,4,36,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.231130326446875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2837859365125527,0.2071879366923556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3488153450697512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34239374495561703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21773608685817228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2811525784397384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2405690959037521,0.0,0.0,0.2841552325623443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3203332539202753,0.0,0.25554776155569864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21778163603397555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3221668772631828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ollie8375,2020/02/10,Spend spend spend spend Im 43 and it ruined my life - still does,-2.8585714285714268,-3.2548447142857126,-1.5821428571428573,112.63964285714287,139.0,1.4,3.5,3.1291,-3.3262285714285715,50,0,13,0,4,15,11,14,0.205,0.795,0.0,-0.4767,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4995109795966866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6165620152448595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4031729633746451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4558416657385138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Usernameshallbethis,2020/02/11,I’ve ruined my relationship I didn’t realize how bipolar was affecting my relationships with people. I had a really bad episode recently and broke up with my boyfriend. I regret it but part of me says it’s the right decision anyway. I don’t want to put him through my ups and downs anymore.,1.9772180451127848,4.704006070175441,3.940100250626568,81.31736842105266,84.78947368421052,8.169423558897243,27.441102756892228,8.841846274778883,2.84157343358396,234,11,44,7,7,79,46,57,0.156,0.816,0.027999999999999997,-0.7,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,0,4,1,0,2,0,11,5,4,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,3,1,10,0,8,2,1,6,0,3,0,0,4,4,0,0,1,32,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2856913386104729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2405292001296947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31195534697552724,0.0,0.19971377720872588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2895932659401173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18454715358683516,0.0,0.2844376628003237,0.6185659021712715,0.0,0.24601305227975626,0.0,0.2290874767288817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699131154595877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jj9955234,2020/02/11,"Fire I hate people so much , they bore me. I lack empathy,  I could care less about anyone's emotions except my own . I think people are a waste of space and I hate that me feeling this way makes me not normal.  Why do I feel this way . What do I do . Why dont I care about anyone ? This isnt a flare up in my diagnosis either,  I've always felt this way.",-0.7227777777777789,1.27491765789474,1.8322807017543847,96.96652046783626,89.52631578947368,4.430409356725146,13.707602339181287,5.82211442006289,-1.0249309941520472,266,4,64,2,9,91,49,76,0.22,0.679,0.10099999999999999,-0.8505,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,0,3,5,2,0,2,0,7,0,0,1,0,12,16,2,0,3,3,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,4,14,2,6,14,5,6,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,43,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15416212246908864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590946217778139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3777966968579792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479255534092297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.217138779770696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20840738336048256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18735936694926686,0.0,0.17789130149572388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36583780367240615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12367128213553374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13619710049722927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18152837303737135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25689018119455825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11871556872426195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4411836646549838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3343604437878752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mobsbowlcut,2020/02/11,"DIA Experience sadness/worsening depression when their Lamictal mgs went up? I started lamictal just about 4 weeks ago, I started at 25mg and now I’m all the way up to 200mgs (it doubled up each time I went up). I’ve been okay and actually feeling pretty good up until this week when it got upped to the 200mgs. 

I’ve been waking up sad and on edge, very annoyed and agitated with everything around me, and always end up crying after I’ve made myself stress out too much. (Always over little things that don’t need stress - like I’ll have to go to work or do the dishes and I’ll end up crying over it, lol) 

I guess it could be something else. The depression is still way more manageable than it was when I wasn’t on antidepressants and lamictal. But it still really sucks to wake up feeling hopeless and cry every morning. 

Anyone else have this issue, what did your doctor say about it? I’m seeing mine tomorrow and I’m gonna bring it up, but she usually just ends up upping the dosage again when I say I keep having mood swings or whatever. 

(Side note I have bipolar 1 and ADHD)",3.228873385012921,5.050088386046519,4.490658914728684,84.14115633074938,74.44186046511628,7.75452196382429,24.037467700258397,8.515128840125781,1.5602041343669248,853,26,169,16,18,281,130,215,0.12,0.833,0.047,-0.9229,0,0,1,0,0,1,23.0,0,1,1,1,14,12,2,2,5,2,14,5,2,1,1,28,33,19,0,2,6,0,2,1,0,1,2,2,0,0,13,14,1,1,2,0,0,4,2,8,0,0,9,5,14,3,31,21,5,49,0,4,1,0,5,22,1,3,22,107,27,3,0.0,0.0,0.11510616628443733,0.0,0.1417578813278397,0.0,0.10455917432860966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19629448610942304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08247623479267599,0.12085789337758933,0.0,0.10500413826496094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09417673428419167,0.0,0.3887010521349522,0.0,0.0,0.2031873512663198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12073099827242438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19707099538200296,0.0,0.3134169108158761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993813991004629,0.0,0.10600952072255374,0.11538172313673528,0.0,0.0,0.11928225320220115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06703602150045633,0.09893428539606423,0.09433865250030356,0.0,0.1299397165734637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231134133232251,0.0,0.10484300531538536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057626405039344325,0.11822097507436233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1116110018130851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08670982023180727,0.08746145518602584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12000170387184587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07556440356548062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876036363269464,0.0,0.0,0.09399412960995077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09080681293492328,0.0,0.0,0.1669770088234838,0.0,0.1883965601407969,0.0,0.2702319985510225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07836344903192978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06877997218236805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12990975388618378,0.0973244685460724,0.0,0.18725291562391144,0.1892312950157677,0.0,0.0,0.21868922642436384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08587197453293198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Jeremy_outchea,2020/02/11,"Sign of Bipolar Hello all this is my first post in here and I will try to be brief. I was diagnosed with BpII and I was wondering if any of you suffer from the following

°Contant (daily) cycling between either extremely agitated/irratable and extreme depression..usually they cohere with one another.
°Severe intrusive thoughts
°Waking up in the middle of the night/early morning and my mind is ALREADY racing with just thought after thought. 
°Feels like a radio is contrantly playing in my head, can never just have a quiet mind.
°Extreme distractibility (Although I have been diagnosed ADHD since I was a kid and stimulants push me to the edge of what feels like phychosis so I don't take them)

I have never experienced full blown mania. I feel as if I don't sleep I will feel sluggish but even with the 5 hrs or so of sleep I do get I never feel rested. I wake up EXTREMELY depressed and I don't know what is going on. 

Am currently on 750mg of depakote and 50mg of pristiq and supplementing with NAC+Sarcosoine although I haven't felt much benefit from anything. I just had a lamictal scrip filled and I hope this helps..

Sorry if this post is too long or convuluted I just wanted to know if others have had the same experience as I have.",3.7539458605018763,5.896784651452283,5.141315945465326,78.64226832641772,73.85477178423236,8.241928472633868,29.31851412764276,8.976282227363876,2.709171744714483,995,43,178,22,21,332,137,241,0.075,0.885,0.04,-0.8252,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,2,1,10,8,0,1,10,0,26,7,4,1,4,48,43,22,0,6,12,0,5,2,0,2,3,1,0,1,6,14,0,0,11,2,0,5,7,3,0,2,10,7,26,5,28,30,6,23,0,2,0,0,6,9,0,8,9,134,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15822932787359098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14528971048229986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08953308467896655,0.13805663478769045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083446833530451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11339827359909573,0.26726357018634195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08695996476407501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287884125370104,0.0,0.0,0.33285540413415354,0.1881153770842251,0.12641392211224364,0.0,0.0,0.1119896408845747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06878673912525471,0.0,0.07482521977600752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13512079659798026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08824869589287865,0.0,0.0,0.1307677511633183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447134136173857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12864452052664893,0.0,0.0,0.11651465741348413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2658774524975555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09678500021870956,0.0,0.3046321427216713,0.0,0.0,0.12355367352606245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08921599406781806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2521871234101524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14873794215664954,0.0,0.1089102325952918,0.0,0.2635094892330889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14738221200749713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989916802637565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31356919431122016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08938826784804721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0776562795861689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14277928676218013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,notttreallysure,2020/02/11,"Is it possible for a Bipolar person to save money? Anyone else work hard as hell to save everything they can and as soon as you get manic you blow it. I seriously almost ruin my life almost not make rent every month. Idk where my money goes. 

Is it possible for us to save or will this always happen?",3.0174999999999983,4.763005750000001,5.020000000000003,80.44500000000002,74.83333333333334,7.466666666666668,20.333333333333336,8.238735603445708,1.1042333333333332,235,5,44,4,5,81,45,60,0.179,0.6890000000000001,0.132,-0.3328,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,1,2,1,1,2,6,1,0,1,0,4,2,0,1,0,9,7,5,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,4,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,7,3,8,6,0,3,1,1,0,0,5,1,1,3,2,29,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4509947919548989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18737789750795156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15745957796500645,0.2307359560340269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18811913419663948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897340876346646,0.0,0.20238817200137524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1176535969678419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1991366627834385,0.0,0.2017279222479604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15905986588034532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15031749989894905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1797462150629301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19662908770878829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5077405967985207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2708784132846199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16394255754965634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,clmntclmnt,2020/02/11,"I have so much gratitude for my country (healthcare / happy rant) I pay 40 euros per month for as many consultations with my psychiatrist as necessary.  
After a breakdown I was entitled to 1 month of sick leave. During this time I was compensated financially by the state.  
I never paid for my medication in my life.  
France is not perfect, there are not enough psychiatric hospitals for example. But overall the system works for the weakest (I am not ashamed to qualify myself as ""weak"").  
Nothing is free, we pay a lot of tax yes, but for good profits.  
End of the political rant.",4.768476190476188,7.08649918095238,6.041904761904764,72.52476190476193,71.47619047619048,9.619047619047619,32.61904761904762,9.994966539143718,3.7909047619047618,454,22,77,13,9,152,75,105,0.129,0.718,0.153,0.6972,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,1,0,0,2,2,7,0,1,6,1,7,4,0,0,2,10,8,6,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,8,0,4,2,0,0,3,0,12,6,18,5,3,9,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,6,55,13,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406235915693033,0.2807131071061313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278682699606669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2892033043922662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2876648121985114,0.0,0.0,0.1918922296181828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309685416098554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2754360137983751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2736841844130892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4336971087326578,0.0,0.19971253287698365,0.0,0.20953266408778004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26067968351490195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584159950859916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19778278274908412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,shortshit042,2020/02/11,"Question / Advice: I am not able to seem to stick with anything - diets, bullet journals, painting anything. I get annoyed by the littlest things & will let it effect my whole mood/day, sometimes I have bad thoughts but am able to pull myself out of them. I change my mind on things a lot during the day or even the week, one day I feel that I can do anything, then other days I have no motivation to do anything. 

Like last night, I had the sudden urge to do dishes @ 9:30pm, i'm usually a lazy shit & just sit on my ass all night. But last night, I felt the need to clean. This morning before work, I vacuumed 2 rooms just cause I was so annoyed by how they looked & felt the need to, usually its hard for me to get out of bed & I always go back to sleep and end up being late for work. Not today.. Idk if i'm just overthinking or not, but just kind of looking for advice & if I should bring it up to my doctor.. I already take medication for depression & anxiety, maybe I need those meds adjusted or something. 

Please no negative comments, just looking for some advice or people who have the same problems!",7.097800982800982,5.7493331126126135,7.110638820638823,80.02883292383295,64.72072072072072,9.874529074529075,33.24488124488125,8.575989854853784,2.458138738738739,869,29,177,10,11,279,132,222,0.18100000000000002,0.76,0.059000000000000004,-0.9838,0,0,1,0,0,0,43.0,0,0,2,4,9,8,3,0,9,0,15,7,3,4,1,42,33,13,0,7,17,0,4,1,0,2,2,0,4,0,10,4,2,0,9,0,0,3,6,6,0,1,5,7,23,2,27,24,5,28,0,1,3,1,5,7,2,10,18,116,33,4,0.1689035630566529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24757591050387506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931946409430892,0.0,0.07027064752273178,0.5490208200141605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06460538171447869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2779864817587295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06493820709791162,0.07051371002288154,0.0,0.0,0.07186224591298508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08675524294346318,0.08933878695035476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2178576502568025,0.0,0.07273819568193987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0864399769226305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07479921181731937,0.0,0.0,0.05577960521573872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042701358232836994,0.0,0.16217390815013624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0882451404596203,0.0,0.047995893634616975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.075652208228977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0879435346714747,0.0,0.13767894714943268,0.09526528802463573,0.0,0.0,0.08635766839596974,0.0,0.041258874630483534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2127546802773306,0.0,0.0,0.07179788463109649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08484316563614841,0.0,0.0938068909866423,0.08507628511175677,0.0,0.0,0.0852722248468917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878597777558476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2377568281312771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057226712792878776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058548231840778876,0.0,0.0,0.0927026957240774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08080894946038443,0.0,0.0,0.09460532300989116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07688173011629583,0.0,0.0,0.08668854013411656,0.0,0.0,0.08451277159495177,0.0,0.0,0.06501510736124863,0.08352497135797704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06349722955541155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11221202214551554,0.0,0.0,0.06704528117795391,0.0,0.0,0.08005041420122838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1860234121912531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06774212508908949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942873981293876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12296380553697045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,FriendlyAM,2020/02/11,"How can I help my wife to cope with my disorder? Hello  partners in adversity. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder type II in February 2013 (hard to believe it's been 7 years almost to date...). Before my diagnosis my condition and behavior drove away an ex-girlfriend I'd been together with for 4 years. A month after my diagnosis I met the woman who is now my wife. I was working as a nurse at a psychiatric ward (oh, irony) and she was a therapist. I came clean with her before we even officially started a relationship because hiding a large part of who I am and why I am the way I am seemed dishonest to her.

Anyway, we'll be married for 5 years in June and we have a two-year old son who is the apple of my eye. Although he's a very calm and pleasant little boy, it's stressing for me. He's been sleeping through the night since he was 6 weeks old, but that also means the day starts at 06.30 AM for me every day. For the past 2 years and 4 months. Combined with work stress, I haven't been myself for the past year and a half, but I've been the Bipolar. I've always leaned heavily towards the depressive pole, with only a few hypomanic episodes in the beginning of this journey. 

To cut to the case, it's starting to become difficult for my wife. She's got 14 years worth of experience dealing with people with mental health issues, but this is different. I should be there for her and our son 100% of the time. In reality I get annoyed really easily and fail to do my utmost for my family. Forgetting chores, bills, not preparing food etc.

Since about a year she's becoming colder when she's angry. She loses patience with my fuck-ups and yells at me. I've talked about this with my psychiatrist, but it isn't much help.

I'm not asking for advice on how to get better. I'm resigned to the fact that I'll carry this on my shoulders for the rest of my life. I just wonder if there's any way I can make it easier to bear for my wife. I do love her and I couldn't imagine living without my boy running around the house, yet losing all that seems to become a possibility.",4.615849206349207,5.102578664285716,5.957142857142857,80.05896825396827,69.5,9.269841269841269,28.65079365079365,9.348350401419415,2.3137698412698406,1629,55,332,32,27,551,220,420,0.111,0.815,0.07400000000000001,-0.9252,1,0,0,0,0,0,50.0,4,0,0,6,14,15,2,2,28,0,28,10,3,3,2,48,47,22,0,3,9,6,1,0,1,2,5,1,2,4,15,25,1,0,5,0,2,4,6,11,0,1,13,3,48,4,59,29,6,48,0,5,1,1,38,14,0,5,28,214,63,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08487826534949429,0.0,0.0,0.08697741378044332,0.0,0.0,0.0694616476189282,0.07227420456105145,0.0,0.0,0.0590675549115698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07732352262292512,0.08120206731026579,0.0,0.08160752026958135,0.0,0.0,0.0529488493168527,0.2877890476268152,0.1478223652244427,0.09786110504559388,0.0,0.0768203205357503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09934432408916052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11203460431154172,0.08954850693683594,0.07481210746517884,0.08816073781244685,0.0,0.0907498691893659,0.19909741656165714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09687149362401593,0.05736999358648105,0.0,0.07318301915160667,0.0,0.0,0.08496542542659521,0.08188356762600615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10503105910688457,0.0,0.0,0.08030036631905026,0.0907611863265406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06946961378242789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07780920435189677,0.0,0.0,0.0923277686669317,0.0,0.0,0.1164404132666191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10022439847816857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09065892980582203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06135155446282903,0.0,0.0870562093238671,0.0766986809483078,0.0,0.0,0.19434750829596667,0.0,0.0,0.07839424442032135,0.0,0.0579795049538404,0.0,0.0,0.09461564564271788,0.0,0.0,0.0875341188835906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13866112160834412,0.0,0.06385185248038201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08151191731743539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18228922695733246,0.0,0.0,0.06606069393895933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09406055941765322,0.165834768935225,0.060217559307098566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09792122829057087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05564452949311062,0.0,0.0,0.09325478046619212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15814756474629685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14370243507907454,0.0,0.0869224001429482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18443916686442727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19899491961614293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06981451346621984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10085077288730628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050648572741272366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08484927748747903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07166832536063565,0.0,0.13789032791182626,0.06967358888368555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07837734303474686,0.0,0.0,0.08372962337207804,0.09419560815200087,0.12646975014865874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4474782431981459
bipolarreddit,purplepills3,2020/02/11,"Dying Young Does anyone else think they’re going to die young? I’m a very reckless person, especially when it comes to alcohol and drugs. For awhile I thought I was going to join the 27 club. (For reference I’m 24). Now, I just think I’ll end up dying young one of these days. If it’s not the drugs or alcohol, it will be suicide or something involving a seizure or a combo of any of these. Or the fact that I just don’t care about my life and feel I have no value and don’t care what happens to myself. I hope I make it through this shit.",2.918282608695652,3.564059730434785,4.278858695652176,89.98872282608698,73.43478260869566,7.489130434782607,24.80978260869565,7.645422480735847,0.9650217391304357,419,12,97,5,8,139,75,115,0.149,0.735,0.11599999999999999,-0.7134,0,0,5,0,0,1,13.0,0,0,0,0,5,4,1,0,6,0,6,6,1,1,1,20,20,9,4,2,8,0,1,0,0,1,5,0,0,1,9,4,2,0,5,1,0,3,4,1,0,1,2,1,9,3,12,16,0,11,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,6,7,57,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33591837364532656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068760614510088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10989185118617983,0.16103181318971455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32047580227543265,0.0,0.0,0.1353817956577008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013569740017665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4893303747689926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13753418434221454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36451779545714574,0.0,0.1312893135341972,0.0,0.1391995508734069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07946621018163001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17863842881188055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389785035317029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15609807546845658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11100870037198513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049073580855462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064975489071357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13722845396023212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613253075715736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12099156561669328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1719105433484953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2014070924701288,0.0,0.12476967071451855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296757307256317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hungryhippo29,2020/02/11,"Work getting me down I feel so useless at work. Boss I think strongly dislikes my general negativity, I can't even muster up a hello in the mornings to the office. I fired off an email in response to something that on second thoughts was possibly too on the nose, to zero response all day. Nobody listens. There's issues at work that I see and nobody even talks about them, they instead put a happy face on it all. I hate that. It's so disingenuous. I can't ignore things that aren't working. It's just not in my nature. I'm not given enough work, I feel horrible sitting around much of the day but honestly I can't think of anything productive to do, and too afraid to ask my boss and signal I have nothing. I hate where I sit, right at the front, my back to everything when I have auditory processing problems. It just makes me feel uncomfortable all the time.

I have so many ideas for how to improve work processes, go the extra mile, none are even acknowledged let alone written down in a proposal. I remember my boss at beginning of my position saying ""I'll always defend you"" -- fucking good luck to that. She detests conversation with me now. Anything I was doing has now been given on to others deemed 'positive and upbeat' enough I'm sure. 

I can't even talk to her about anything, she asked what movie I watched recently and I began to explain the plot about a guy who was a climate activist pressuring his wife to get an abortion because he was paranoid and did not want the kid growing up in the environmental disaster. As soon as she heard that she visibly cringed and walked off, or another movie about a guy in Japan who famously took a general hostage to try to return Japan to an authoritarian imperial rule, then did seppuku because he had a fascination with death...she cringed at that too -- but it's a real historical event and I can't help that I saw a Paul Schrader movie week at the cinemas. That's literally the plots of the movies! How can I lie about them when asked?

This is all horrendous on my bipolar. In my post history has basically what's happened over the last year. Just been through the wringer, and today I was so angry I almost cried at work, good thing my meds leave me so emotionally numb. All the way home I was thinking about quitting work -- disastrous! I'd lose my income, my current home, my savings. All because I don't feel appreciated in a job that's otherwise great?

I don't know whether it's bipolar or whether I despise my job after 6 years. I have to keep it together to keep myself financially stable. I don't know if I can do it, I feel like I'm coming apart at the seams. I'm just so afraid, I feel so paralysed. And then I come home so tired and stressed, some nights I just sleep, and others I don't at all. I feel like a failure.",3.4417582068198063,5.337948500914082,4.687462443366981,82.63552718384867,74.04570383912248,7.827819728161514,29.07594785788093,8.587818076936951,2.25126996264208,2198,94,431,42,46,725,264,547,0.159,0.745,0.096,-0.9886,4,1,1,0,0,0,63.0,0,1,3,11,38,24,4,4,32,0,35,8,3,6,8,75,79,35,0,3,15,1,8,2,0,0,4,3,3,3,27,17,0,3,17,1,0,8,15,13,0,2,19,15,65,11,64,59,13,72,0,2,3,1,31,35,1,6,27,294,92,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07741660150401426,0.08007171030187588,0.0,0.0,0.06432961214099242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08106816477976272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19086307564826333,0.06882389436062528,0.2168282941406957,0.0,0.0,0.05944800315649203,0.0,0.14138566977880968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13319454262056832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08492338363051212,0.09971943220271656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08696537076795359,0.0,0.15976751532814815,0.0,0.20425486289964134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06948286206605793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2736381884749756,0.1104631328333009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0714735146717603,0.0807844506806117,0.0,0.043938078425653435,0.12969094207622867,0.0,0.08523653405354202,0.0,0.1531016767956477,0.06836657071235727,0.0822998502702143,0.0,0.15265879607669072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05182047086143333,0.0,0.23265012147536626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0872756134330013,0.0,0.08069343449639131,0.15344006710143296,0.13743656281562727,0.0,0.0,0.08497708841750076,0.06301943686542888,0.0,0.08186203481214413,0.0,0.07905655503624154,0.0,0.07554128205504992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0864921302501981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051606227816131375,0.07838203212188864,0.0,0.0,0.08587598273334461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056833069689159965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0725518884330282,0.0,0.0741827586197421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08715743984398902,0.0740433348509067,0.0,0.0,0.07397695281840065,0.0,0.07771971413858769,0.0,0.08223061735938601,0.0,0.08799775577839535,0.0,0.0,0.07633607698481623,0.0,0.08757920002870538,0.06602385602950371,0.0,0.0614814475961631,0.0,0.0,0.06160749617763245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07736763512681205,0.0,0.0,0.0595184018832493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0885604073727367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07286545793637525,0.0,0.0,0.12428059500261285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102725051165102,0.14861484200168038,0.0,0.06137693455388112,0.045081133161259834,0.08885854276248592,0.07328254796036955,0.0,0.08589625610147987,0.05248963831710884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045600503585765985,0.061366509437464765,0.06201486376197135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.45027129798483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09957253075733688
bipolarreddit,TheBipolarOwl,2020/02/11,"Asexual, medicine side effects of just bp? I need help. Does anyone go through phases of zero libido for months? I need to understand if it’s the bp, meds or asexuality. I just don’t think about sex at all, the most sex I had in my life and actively looked for it was when I was a Horny teenager between 16-19 years old. Before that or after that it’s just almost not there...

Additional background: I’m married and have a kid. I still rarely think of sex. Has nothing to do w my partner (most gorgeous thing ever)

Can anyone relate? Experiences?",1.780295950155761,4.290496616822431,3.4370327102803766,86.30234034267914,82.83177570093456,5.809657320872272,23.869937694704053,7.1686216300943375,1.1038105919003116,426,16,83,6,12,141,77,107,0.0,0.9,0.1,0.8738,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,1,8,1,0,0,4,0,8,4,0,1,2,21,16,6,0,3,7,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,6,3,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,3,1,8,1,13,13,3,11,0,0,1,3,3,3,0,6,7,56,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327382183136071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32503135101083763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977749878611345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2033950709920587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2102400520136907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2273544460859759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13209143633591136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15578834288969412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641673493821407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19517691464026196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25816973141416377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855179464979025,0.0,0.0,0.344677651834468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22301628766088247,0.0,0.2438890055233721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1856134334402092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544116179208685,0.2978547483826693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419607033147841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14967289283706012
bipolarreddit,tornessa,2020/02/11,"Best tips for spiraling into a depressive/hypomanic cycle after a series of bad news that’s making me feel out of control? I found out today I didn’t get a job that I had three rounds of interviews for and really wanted and thought I was going to get. My mom has an ongoing chronic illness that started last year and I just found out she’s using a cane now and won’t be going on our annual family vacation this April. She and I also got in a huge argument over the weekend and she sort of threw this information in my face to get me to back down, which has done before. 

I’m just feeling very much like my life and environment isn’t in my control right now. I don’t know how I’m going to get a job. I can’t do anything about my mom’s health and her prognosis is murky at best. 

My boyfriend of 4 months is very loving and supportive, but even being around him is a mixture of suffocation and comforting. Like I feel like I’m imposing my emotional instability on him, but he’s pretty much also the only thing keeping me from completely withdrawing into myself. But he also doesn’t deal with any chronic mental illness, which is probably good for the stability of our relationship but also makes me feel like he can’t really relate to how I’m feeling. 

I’m just feeling very sped up and desperate but also very sad and alone. Ughhhhh.",6.857512038523276,6.057097471910115,8.15572231139647,70.55839887640451,64.91760299625469,11.67351524879615,33.67817014446228,11.062562989136584,3.7032934189406106,1063,39,201,27,14,369,142,267,0.079,0.767,0.154,0.9556,2,1,0,0,0,0,17.0,2,0,0,4,16,12,0,0,11,0,19,8,1,7,0,49,51,24,0,1,8,2,7,4,0,1,6,0,0,0,8,19,0,3,11,1,0,4,7,2,0,1,9,7,29,10,34,39,4,34,0,1,1,1,18,17,0,1,17,137,37,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10039991148907937,0.0,0.3876117396776176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0659220692356219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07977280960351933,0.0862965568749522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0745403617908544,0.08094029218262819,0.0,0.0,0.08248823071725248,0.0,0.2034636942959736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10163904415053228,0.0,0.21745140515254768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09994019361516483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099202592176151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10904369963873443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06402751383423867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913857738378128,0.0,0.29409263056838336,0.1385069547966182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21257794566394447,0.0,0.0,0.20258719758699345,0.0,0.16527856723571768,0.08130811154338256,0.07753123853515229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10304197570974412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19239465596254865,0.08616413143937185,0.0,0.0,0.0532753211062414,0.0790184930423855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06847111628484635,0.18943864202488284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08749153094431593,0.0,0.12941551230743406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976920452211395,0.0,0.0,0.2270683455862372,0.07737604910715372,0.0,0.14252312445761914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07372672943914768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09862214989219666,0.10451699453471973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12420363535684248,0.0,0.0,0.10407656290578723,0.0,0.08278565896168445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06861415738865939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11000560397621124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06440218402856927,0.0,0.0,0.07695900054399507,0.0,0.0,0.0918871509198043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08372445733881473,0.0,0.3199404013589524,0.05717732900431246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06242575084939862
bipolarreddit,IlliterateFrenchman,2020/02/11,"I don't know if i'm bipolar or not... I don't know how to type this but I'll try my best... 

For the past 2 years, I've been either happy or sad, mostly sad. Let me elaborate. 

When ""happy"", I feel wonderful, bear in mind, i'm only 13 so my actions are quite limited, but when happy, I feel completely shameless. Teachers and family alike saw a great improvement in my personality. I made a lot of friends in a short lapse of time without difficulty, which was near impossible before. I always felt happy and felt like it would never end.

When sad, I feel like any other depressed person, stuck in a loophole, without any espace. My transitions from sad to happy is very quick, seconds. I feel like nothing can bring me back to my ""happy"" state. My family and friends got used to my ""happy"" state and worry a lot about me. My mom suggested that I may be bipolar. Keep in mind that I have seen a psychiatrist before and will soon see one again. I understand that not all people in this subreddit are medical professionals and I will not take your advices as definitive answers, but rather for what they are, advices. Thank you for reading this fare!",3.47779186602871,5.510780650000001,4.855789473684212,80.87236842105266,74.31818181818181,7.9043062200956955,26.578947368421048,8.6894789155246,2.092590909090909,893,33,168,18,19,297,132,220,0.127,0.65,0.223,0.9823,0,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,0,2,1,3,11,20,0,0,7,0,16,3,0,3,2,44,39,18,0,3,13,1,6,3,2,4,3,0,0,2,10,6,0,2,11,1,0,2,8,5,0,2,9,9,26,15,21,24,6,24,0,5,3,0,9,8,0,8,15,114,36,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1758681992164188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07487626045144508,0.0,0.0,0.12238827539230107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06919432621337665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15314434778378394,0.0,0.09443563793798007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09434949077253617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07750553433974364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07970163166327242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16966317024158356,0.0,0.18200020255331015,0.12857323445664431,0.17280295846356356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13904722035072378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07197069724427688,0.09921080994213842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6705486591943101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07998443897329814,0.0,0.0,0.09890882896680407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920176417714727,0.0,0.13188907538241684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530071886063587,0.0,0.08514772479492579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09065227526484104,0.0,0.0,0.18172211419695875,0.10539150065645092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06940339933268161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08634480094865997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06097741237511025,0.06843904758299227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08590262200817557,0.062385545186041086,0.1571460773060333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09571208215883266,0.09001119276994822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.071707861683474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06765890547113837,0.0,0.0,0.08284779312800959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052472050672878405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06109515818345115,0.0,0.0,0.09367947509233564,0.0,0.07771973832639321,0.0,0.07424856805291961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17348820717392371,0.09758689054009108,0.0,0.0913860051543032,0.0,0.06392407003528967,0.0,0.0,0.057948575303510774
bipolarreddit,cosmeticguru,2020/02/11,Abilify question I’ve been taking this medicine about a month but recently I’ve fallen asleep and skipped a few doses now I have flu like symptoms no fever!! I just took my medicine now but I need advice will I fill better now?,1.3693333333333335,4.034956044444449,2.0194444444444457,93.9425,88.55555555555556,4.777777777777779,23.055555555555557,6.42735559955562,0.6405555555555558,182,7,36,2,6,56,34,45,0.204,0.6509999999999999,0.145,-0.4468,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,2,0,3,5,1,0,0,6,6,3,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,2,0,5,2,1,3,1,8,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,6,21,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3397492748295273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.307495070578142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16985908734973332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2775151878958875,0.0,0.0,0.2578006201503453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3894816319835845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3432924624988693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3613730726530736,0.26141240055902903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3862857306955376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,peachyt4001,2020/02/11,Discord server Does anyone know of any good bipolar disorder or mental health servers on discord?,6.414375,10.267531687500004,5.230000000000004,71.81500000000003,75.875,5.7,39.25,7.1686216300943375,3.8857250000000008,81,5,9,1,2,24,15,16,0.35200000000000004,0.522,0.126,-0.6369,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,3,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2735126711854165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2812305520186122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4609608973269688,0.0,0.3519716354442019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3373498288985037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4275242926592738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22104092837175365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4053272682703025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kingdom_cum,2020/02/12,"Misdiagnosed with depression for more than a decade.. I can't believe it took me (or any healthcare professionals) so long to finally figure it out. I was disappointed in myself for making my entire savings account vanish within a week despite the fact that I was unemployed and had bills to pay. I Googled my problem and some dude on a random forum said that it was a symptom of BP. That's when everything clicked. I knew BP was the true culprit at that moment before I even opened up a full symptom list. It's kind of like when you're looking for your glasses but then realize you're already wearing them. I would even refer to depressive episodes as ""bad waves"". I called them waves because I could feel them coming up in advance and I had to tough my way through them. 

Everybody involved in my personal life knew about these bad waves though, and my friends were always there for me to talk me through them. If it weren't for them, I would have had many more hospital visits on my track record. 

I saw my doctor yesterday and told her everything. She agreed with my case and gave me a prescription for lithium. I'm a little nervous because I'm getting mixed answers on this sub and other forums. 

Assuming lithium (or any other appropriate meds) work for me, can they actually help me get my life back on track? I can't keep a minimum wage job for more than a year and I've flunked out of school three times so far. Anybody have any stories involving these subjects?",5.222793594306047,6.596206395017794,5.426866548042708,81.1792322064057,68.6797153024911,8.466975088967972,32.555338078291804,8.841846274778883,2.726295231316726,1171,52,217,20,20,370,166,281,0.10400000000000001,0.846,0.05,-0.9321,4,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,1,7,2,10,14,0,1,11,0,17,6,1,1,2,37,33,19,0,5,4,0,1,1,1,2,5,1,0,1,14,14,0,1,8,0,4,4,3,9,0,1,16,5,39,5,37,14,5,33,0,4,3,0,21,17,0,6,12,146,53,8,0.0,0.0,0.1310512516411323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481964063221497,0.0,0.11174309302998127,0.0,0.0,0.27397290597483875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10326354420734156,0.2242592131067832,0.16372835179515827,0.0,0.11427402355728165,0.15130298052452862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371288539025738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11568210713376732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10722256940535707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23133388558261614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13745526365969993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1773994074206195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24138898592517105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06790291556620291,0.0,0.0,0.14711215330074348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10375495774983888,0.0,0.14032580156079055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09001421745922009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13326574746839034,0.1193663859714247,0.0,0.13984619357607356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18971118394206046,0.06560910463583026,0.134597539418051,0.0,0.11884567362145272,0.11277286163758532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08964206877457184,0.1361527050416328,0.0,0.0,0.14916999509621404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172600543205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285009072142923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277440348810888,0.0,0.0,0.13591236552014682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27916509038401144,0.0,0.10794016648787576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13194285075707407,0.0,0.078307720023165,0.0,0.0,0.1283233584919205,0.14920521074241758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10659606586724958,0.1077222830973635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09776739254461378,0.0,0.0,0.1907967428325423,0.0,0.0,0.0864807216874051
bipolarreddit,Desirai,2020/02/12,"Disability case manager asking for previous supervisor's contact info hi everyone, I'm currently going through the process of trying to get disability

Today my case manager called and asked for contact info for my previous job

What reasons would they need this info?",13.055999999999996,11.891470711111117,13.11388888888889,41.11750000000001,53.0,17.0,53.611111111111114,15.247664890283005,8.902777777777779,222,14,26,9,2,76,35,45,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,7,7,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,6,6,0,3,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,0,2,14,5,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5769200788763512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31507217502618834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2948403528220244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16120879833745091,0.0,0.17536059884247598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3061961630714717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287918169032669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31724897214697795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2924768664332356,0.0,0.0,0.20949059991069216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21919072114053856,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,astronautmyproblem,2020/02/12,"Found out my sister is on lithium with no blood tests Hi everybody. I know I can't get medical advice, but I'm hoping for some guidance.

It's an incredibly confusing and complicated story, but my younger sister was prescribed 300ml of lithium carbonate over a year ago.

I just found out that she has had NO blood tests done. Ever.

Is this abnormal? I was under the impression that a lithium prescription always required regular blood tests.

I've helped her schedule an appointment with a new psychiatrist but it isn't until next week. I'm trying to get all the information I can to make sure she's safe until then.",3.9414341692789954,6.484249146551727,5.205485893416928,76.5244670846395,74.77586206896551,8.700940438871474,28.64890282131661,9.339509955726095,3.0086310344827583,495,21,85,13,11,164,79,116,0.07200000000000001,0.816,0.11199999999999999,0.6768,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,2,5,0,1,7,0,10,4,3,1,3,22,19,7,0,1,4,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,5,0,2,4,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,6,0,10,4,13,13,2,15,0,0,0,0,8,5,0,3,10,56,15,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2311711581189236,0.20970293759054853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19684322602148702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24209082840913776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2139889725055625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5187684095584459,0.0,0.0,0.24719365398151136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15856630125423968,0.0,0.0,0.23496504300156404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300113871769718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15791073547688858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2383170073095547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22847849912064824,0.2515923670279533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2229621993413093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16061389763077405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18976028982476506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15234180282666593
bipolarreddit,SassBHW,2020/02/12,"Feeling super guilty I'm a mess. I'm in one of the worst depressive episodes that I've ever had.  I work a pretty high stakes job and screwing up has big consequences. My doctor and I agreed that I would take a couple of weeks off and attend an intensive outpatient program. When I went to tell my boss I panicked and said I'm having surgery. Now everyone is being all concerned and helpful about my mythical procedure. 

I didn't lie to HR ( I just said I needed to take time off for medical reasons) but somehow they heard the surgery story too. They are going to find out the truth when the FMLA paperwork comes through. Which I didn't know would happen b/c my doctor said that no one had to know why I was gone. 

I feel crazy guilty about lying and everyone being g so nice. I'm also insanely worried about them finding out the truth. I don't want them to know I'm a liar and also that I have a mental illness. 

Right now I am so panicky and I feel even worse than before. I don't know what I was thinking.",2.122266223811959,4.104844169902915,3.5889064895247853,88.64288451711805,78.1747572815534,6.472764435360245,24.43433827286664,7.475848149327749,1.1624116504854367,793,28,162,11,19,261,121,206,0.21600000000000005,0.69,0.094,-0.9781,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,4,2,16,9,2,0,11,0,18,5,0,2,4,34,44,15,0,4,2,0,3,0,0,2,4,4,0,0,6,11,0,0,11,0,0,5,5,5,0,2,12,7,25,4,20,28,2,21,0,1,0,1,10,9,1,1,7,107,31,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21438276952410054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11405778994862008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11546320909636193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14831221959511706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11544807344844228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27439033127194445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08853186279228277,0.12124645260098027,0.0,0.2561610804057544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20332328134048666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24501945229058225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07617776879951757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11853073698145845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08984388916879901,0.14162015053452753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330135770048937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2946585388652333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13503075131600198,0.13508034633058694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09938863260232546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816573446670071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13636641686791365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378149881536744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144690487176982,0.3825069384299629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20156212984826272,0.0,0.11715648025638944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08588713540987067,0.0,0.0,0.07815954320782621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07906000316276672,0.0,0.10751844693860843,0.0,0.0,0.1242560115936112,0.12094985105961392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09758239340446576,0.13612367587799046,0.13659775920987505,0.1904357100541448,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ruthplayherginsburg,2020/02/12,"Please tell me what I already know Tl;dr should I talk to my psyDoc about a scary and annoying  pattern? I know the answer is yes, but I can’t convince myself that it’s a big enough deal to mention or worth the risk of mentioning it. For the past few months, I’ve had pretty consistent intrusive thoughts especially when I’m feeling threatened or about to go to sleep. By intrusive thoughts I mean there’s something like a little video that’s on repeat in my mind of something really disturbing, like me harming myself in some super traumatic way (cutting open my chest and taking out my own heart is a common one, even just the word “death” on repeat) or me accidentally harming someone or something else. It’s getting to the point where I know I wouldn’t do these things (Im not suicidal now and I’ve never gotten close to acting on suicidal thoughts, nor do I have a history of violence past young childhood) but I’m starting to get anxious about something making me do it anyway. Please convince me this is serious enough to talk to someone irl about. I think I need to hear it from somebody else.",7.801740994854202,7.126405915094343,7.678250428816469,74.3401629502573,62.96226415094339,10.539279588336193,37.19725557461406,9.800150414767053,3.588815094339622,882,38,159,15,11,283,125,212,0.193,0.639,0.16699999999999998,-0.8599,0,0,4,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,1,11,12,2,2,10,1,11,3,3,1,1,32,31,11,3,3,8,0,1,2,0,2,0,1,0,0,11,6,0,0,10,1,1,2,5,7,0,1,5,2,21,5,26,24,5,27,0,0,0,0,7,12,0,5,14,104,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13516912610287474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13837716100414116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12628028418438045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046468797498964,0.0,0.0,0.2531267658384481,0.0,0.08090251129331551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061933875353016074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12799039084271327,0.0,0.06961304784767013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13805346261348206,0.14514948425491675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323086191820241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20194945935014005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11968340607044492,0.12276567448731697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08176203727891389,0.0,0.0,0.13342590545344074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12367848619579787,0.0,0.09776916690737028,0.0,0.0,0.09082368446716707,0.09447069669247952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08300139020522974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2338583016639543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26891122153807584,0.11579124182892946,0.0,0.0,0.1246148587946241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07846928148844053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12257697830498045,0.0,0.20756824857423686,0.37719058334571454,0.0,0.0,0.08669800388296381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2679651172310777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09209612207422824,0.19690326287465856,0.1070603641229816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08137592901349396,0.07848569682477383,0.0,0.29172660491324864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09722568466309084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sylviaplaths0ven,2020/02/12,"Why am I lost? I’m in a mixed episode. People are openly ignoring me, writing me off, or just being mean. Is there something wrong with me? Am I just being paranoid? What do you do when you can’t cope and your support system pulls away? Asking the questions I already know the answers to I suppose.",1.3847941888619886,3.9092692711864414,2.6971428571428566,90.73762711864408,85.10169491525423,4.049394673123486,25.37772397094431,5.288315135182226,0.6218842615012106,233,10,44,1,7,75,47,59,0.182,0.774,0.044000000000000004,-0.8105,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,3,0,1,4,4,0,0,3,0,9,0,0,0,0,12,15,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,4,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,1,0,10,1,5,12,0,7,0,1,0,0,6,4,0,2,1,34,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3285659535116761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2783487918521019,0.0,0.2797386252038456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16363134241677255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3250208147768285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3243285734872864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064169723335867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3335394379705481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2292165142398857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3378743530442371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26866605081545103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3255343870341568,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,dabalancingact,2020/02/12,Today was a bad day I came home after a bad day and nobody cared. I thought maybe someone in here might care,1.7265217391304368,3.3562731739130456,2.7471739130434787,95.84945652173916,78.13043478260869,4.6000000000000005,20.195652173913047,3.1291,-0.5256782608695652,85,2,19,0,2,27,19,23,0.25,0.536,0.214,-0.25,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,6,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,3,0,2,2,2,2,0,6,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,4,10,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4268389881633888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2923440201741141,0.5212126548826862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32968815202423724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2563926506036213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2567895729848912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2711565066257942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2165732826767006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2029218145651492,0.0,0.0,0.2422836480212489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Communist__Robot,2020/02/12,"Sleep Disturbances on antipsychotics? I took Seroquel for quite some time before I realized it was the cause of my nightmares, sleepwalking, and terrifying hallucinations. I got off it in 2017 and didn't replace it with anything. 

Two weeks ago, my psychiatrist prescribed Saphris 2.5mg due to my manic episodes being out of control. It's worked surprisingly well, but some of my old symptoms have come back. I apparently scared my partner half to death by screaming bloody murder in the middle of the night Sunday, I took a nap alone at home and work up to all of my cabinet doors open, and I've had nightmares every night the past week. I tried Prazosin once for nightmares, but even the 1mg left me debilitated for a few days. 

I'm just wondering if this has happened to anyone else and, if so, how did you deal with it? I like how stable I seem to be on Saphris, but I'm worried about my nightly activities are going to have a negative impact on my relationship.",6.795529470529469,7.319553368131872,6.941848151848153,74.76224275724276,64.76923076923077,9.914885114885116,34.67732267732268,9.800150414767053,3.3045318681318685,771,33,141,15,11,248,122,182,0.192,0.762,0.047,-0.9856,1,1,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,0,4,8,7,1,2,8,0,10,2,1,4,1,26,20,13,2,2,6,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,2,1,6,10,0,1,3,1,0,4,2,4,1,2,7,1,18,3,27,11,4,29,0,0,0,0,4,12,0,6,14,93,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12847036884721802,0.0,0.0,0.1501022156109584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10133737544296594,0.14849637289138598,0.1192638050114399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11144106893427567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12332347717093635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14888148967055842,0.0,0.1248430680402686,0.0,0.0,0.1625496338443678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09346689146930738,0.14941491748083965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12106916312405705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957239059680434,0.0,0.12210851014242916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08236620519924279,0.0,0.11591255919039245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281597920034396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14537510007781518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574652369548328,0.0,0.0,0.07080474342190793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4080167324826632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15207807888236274,0.15434412024179328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13835065018665432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15414929705094124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555989687005968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14509870931558452,0.0,0.0,0.1319374612969879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14503316346475786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15063620138323755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08450897257279169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3220417874155581,0.09839693667479103,0.0,0.14157408345225606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2325057980250375,0.0,0.1303081247682375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15716877366828835,0.21101934503065575,0.14718192455005036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,captncheese69,2020/02/12,"ways to manage/cope with bipolar without exercise - need help so long story short i have a very close family member who is bipolar but refuses treatment and has spent many years coping with her mania through excessive exercise. You may read that and think ""hey thats not the worst way to cope"" but I'm talking running 15 miles per day, cartilage no longer in her knee caps, ripped her own toe nails out of her feet so she could continue to exercise all to manage her manic mood swings. 

She was recently in a really awful bike accident, hit by a car going 55 mph and she's lucky to be alive but the doctors our telling us (and hiding from her) that she will most likely not be able to return to her normal routine or even be able to exercise again (maybe only moderately). Our family fears the worst and as someone who is not too familiar with the disease, I am looking into possible alternative methods my family member can use to cope as she will most likely refuse any medication. Does anyone has any insight into coping with bipolar through avenues not linked to exercise?? any suggestions would be great.",8.138801054018444,7.7938235652173935,8.109477382520865,70.43889328063244,62.1400966183575,11.58524374176548,35.72639437856829,11.022393298168332,4.0420763285024135,886,35,151,21,11,287,135,207,0.102,0.805,0.094,0.2169,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,3,1,0,0,5,8,0,1,7,1,17,13,3,1,1,37,25,13,0,4,9,0,0,2,0,4,10,0,0,0,5,13,0,2,3,7,1,3,6,3,0,0,2,1,19,4,27,13,6,20,0,0,1,0,25,8,0,5,9,100,24,3,0.3007355158854924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30676569519359553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051406325780836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200564191814598,0.0,0.0,0.09697476425882896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15390777188186386,0.13158783828613646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09931648596908353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4252600194020119,0.16920553241072714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08545746206520427,0.0,0.0,0.16578098397669594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10078833853272008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14692418232398655,0.0,0.0,0.13307073398193733,0.1262710455843475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15244930540109994,0.15106462365383685,0.0,0.0,0.15147969663685334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11149578721160368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14732847668591698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11436145574613805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16951705390965216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15040844959355687,0.0,0.09632943612461982,0.0,0.14847002046697794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274061133430708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12085990800494205,0.13142804816917478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09634958770575816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.180873898511413,0.12986946383841888,0.0,0.12406914808832345,0.0,0.2387098544238695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449491527708519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068169409807877,0.0,0.0,0.0968319061145305
bipolarreddit,CJ_Hunter45,2020/02/12,"Is shitposting part of anyone’s routine? I feel like I have to test my thoughts from time to time and see how out of touch my thinking is. Yep downvoted to shit usually, but at least I’m not shouting it on the corner anymore!",4.462318840579711,5.0220576956521725,5.268260869565221,84.60210144927538,69.8695652173913,8.742028985507247,32.72463768115942,8.841846274778883,2.5761246376811595,178,8,37,3,3,58,38,46,0.051,0.868,0.081,0.08800000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,1,3,1,1,1,0,8,8,3,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,4,4,1,9,7,2,7,0,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,4,24,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3314549593986977,0.2336933564529703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16899092318027856,0.2387657736890529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632822842581875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3619260820747529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2663288848071361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34307050250100896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2141537290742147,0.0,0.26533216810960997,0.3897710072833456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.368094475917292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,wowfactor1975,2020/02/13,"Any coping tips for a partner of a Bipolar person? My partner has been in a medication resistant depression for many months and I’m finding it difficult at times to cope. I cycle between understanding and feeling bad for him, to anger and resentment. The 2 years leading up to this episode were though because we now think he was in a very slow decline and hypomanic... lots of arguments and things just not going well. Good news is that ECT is likely to start in the next few weeks (waiting list) and it’s been a sure thing for snapping him out of the depression in the past. In 10 years, this is his 2nd major crash into depression. I guess I’m just feeling alone and finding it hard to stay positive myself.. any tips? I feel like I’d give anything for a manic episode to come up! At least things would be so down.. but that’s not great either. Anyone else in a similar boat?",3.7374937343358425,5.571330339181291,4.561875522138681,84.11118421052632,73.09356725146198,7.692731829573934,28.58855472013366,8.418075326091056,2.086409857978279,692,28,134,12,14,223,111,171,0.17300000000000001,0.78,0.047,-0.958,0,1,0,0,0,0,21.0,1,0,0,1,6,13,2,0,11,0,10,2,0,1,1,31,23,10,0,1,6,0,4,2,2,1,2,0,0,3,10,11,0,1,7,0,0,3,2,7,1,0,4,4,9,6,28,17,5,27,0,3,0,0,9,13,0,2,12,88,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15202935083980168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1996433909804427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10263842769872224,0.15040289099566334,0.1207950114578467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12256285782330892,0.08948133913748993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12644590563675584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3792879909224769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12262354823711673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2226631032286526,0.10486623998078937,0.0,0.0,0.2683253547686191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14081358450309722,0.08342369002756139,0.12311982383864135,0.0,0.1618356207347186,0.1617048624763632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13149429860063636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434275854623096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12479493595217035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14882121808151313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14787468469470602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11716574588403615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561119886736751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14012690919004647,0.0,0.1281706750588988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10389815739381902,0.15645776548232646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13834709196229672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2925606831314929,0.09405659780670313,0.14421965219722072,0.0,0.08559396800430807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15281274299154232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12111647013582726,0.0,0.0,0.11774544898075405,0.0,0.13198112724074093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10427484222822328,0.0,0.0,0.1890548753791196
bipolarreddit,purplekissez,2020/02/13,"Anyone else Bi-Polar but also a recovering drug addict? Recently been struggling with not only staying sober but learning to cope with life with Bi polar disorder. I’m almost 2 months clean from almost a decade of on and off heroin/opioid abuse and about 3 years of on and off methamphetamine abuse. I started my prozac 20 mg back up again about a month ago. During this time things have slowly/slightly seemed to improve with my mood and life. My boyfriend and I moved into our own apartment. We also cut out toxic friends and have been focused on going to AA meetings, working at our jobs full time and just staying as busy and productive as we can. Of course even after these small improvements, I got it in my head that because there hasn’t been more positive changes in my mood and then on top of that the loss of libido/sexual side effects I was experiencing again with this medication, that I’d rather feel depressed and crazy as long as I can enjoy or want sex still. I’ve been off the prozac for a week now and since i’ve stopped taking my medication my sex drive has increased and almost seems to be back to normal. But yesterday i started having a depressive? episode. I highly considered walking out of this shit job I currently have without giving notice (I’ve done this with many jobs in the past), Started entertaining the idea that since everyone just assumes i’m going to be a shit person that I should just get high and do whatever the fuck I want bc I’ll be judged anyway. I’m just truly starting to feel miserable and hopeless again because I don’t seem to ever feel content with my life or who I am as a person. Thankfully I didn’t relapse or walk out of my job last night. I really need the money. But I still went home in an angry mood and unintentionally took it out on my boyfriend by just wanting to be left alone and not talk about anything. My depressive episodes seem to have a snowball effect too. All day today i’ve just been radiating the same bad vibes/negative thoughts and energy about myself and life. Cried this morning because I hate my job and feel as if I have no purpose. I have a therapy appointment next Tuesday but I feel like no mediation is going to help me. I guess the only reason why I felt like sharing this is too see if anyone has any thoughts or advice. I’m fairly new to dealing with my diagnosis in a healthy adult way. & I honestly sometimes cant tell when i’m having an episode, only reason i realized i was getting worse again is because my bf asked if i stopped taking my meds? 😒😔",5.8336340624391525,6.38183523742455,6.237630946972157,78.89706691763485,66.84708249496981,8.907873044719931,31.726423054455772,8.841846274778883,2.5412877133770366,2031,78,381,31,31,656,259,497,0.18,0.696,0.125,-0.9891,6,1,3,0,2,1,37.0,4,0,0,5,29,24,5,2,20,0,34,17,3,4,2,91,76,41,0,10,22,0,6,2,2,1,10,0,2,3,16,34,0,2,20,1,1,10,9,13,1,0,15,8,46,8,62,56,6,79,0,6,1,4,18,28,3,16,40,244,62,7,0.0,0.16449120728969552,0.0,0.07567276116575153,0.0,0.06783168263774493,0.06153234350942375,0.0,0.20852774160430007,0.07189316241072724,0.0,0.11102254310643923,0.0,0.07521128761865567,0.0,0.047204683347985575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09707337578388296,0.07112402578623178,0.05712275510730558,0.0,0.06489379626973689,0.0,0.0,0.10675193348088084,0.057958752006373536,0.16925932819695302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07343202613684081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07624928440767763,0.044767030127289865,0.07156397315864263,0.17936150474365628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07955577743369664,0.0,0.0,0.07103580038176546,0.0,0.0,0.0804995378555743,0.0,0.057987451897233776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045848052877424064,0.0627899785989186,0.0,0.06632915195253779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17549193138108965,0.04959019808145767,0.0666494311625928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05362997383560144,0.0641731889950898,0.07253310327888099,0.0665893384691574,0.11835069076313096,0.0,0.05551763782698977,0.0,0.0764686152798721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06853309101548251,0.07123997168203952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0465275128231413,0.14668183737305845,0.06962905669199909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07836125677070263,0.0,0.0,0.34441913451228506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05658261316659685,0.0,0.0,0.07541976518040794,0.0,0.19611989733858232,0.06782547342904736,0.0,0.0,0.0614302246853629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07037606845385146,0.0,0.0,0.07710458475975021,0.1398569245276066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11081302329168057,0.07377732055384367,0.0,0.051470455260357394,0.0,0.06704158584492305,0.07382380108828186,0.06514141734522765,0.06801211021047354,0.0,0.07902961003149027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15838005198312127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06626461656820938,0.0,0.12122126559642656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0444691235095535,0.14274067358090234,0.06853908777240893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05531488851329087,0.2527717873976778,0.0,0.0,0.14250731092712118,0.11484186122817608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0686533597467152,0.0,0.19652960595905092,0.14797463097889585,0.11087005926562077,0.1160683496707796,0.0,0.07256778796384092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10438311016962934,0.05579326935405388,0.06067190198324901,0.06390814525576884,0.07938227529876171,0.0,0.046116342208878267,0.0,0.0,0.11021575304234199,0.08095306609046281,0.0,0.06579744709491148,0.0,0.07712278740013925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12282856446837832,0.05509851622919215,0.05568064745351242,0.0,0.0,0.06434854085526251,0.06263637736741627,0.0,0.0,0.06691372893362914,0.0,0.05053505700213882,0.0,0.07073996965234879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044701081682881484
bipolarreddit,sluttieroach,2020/02/13,Feeling like I’m not real don’t know what to do hi lately I’ve been struggling with the feeling of reality if that makes sense.  I can’t tell if I’m in an episode or not but I’ve been having moments throughout the day where i totally forget that I’m real. I know it sounds odd but I feel like I am nothing. Typically when this happens I get this rush of wanting to do something impulsive but I’ve been good at not acting out. I’ve never felt like this until now. I’m wondering if any else can relate? Thank you!,1.5204587155963305,3.3319194403669776,3.708706422018349,87.88709633027523,79.36697247706422,6.194862385321102,24.661467889908266,7.1686216300943375,1.0399570642201832,405,15,86,5,10,139,68,109,0.07,0.763,0.16699999999999998,0.8592,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,3,6,0,1,3,0,10,0,0,1,2,26,26,9,0,4,10,0,4,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,7,2,0,0,7,0,0,2,6,1,0,0,4,5,7,5,9,22,1,13,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,5,10,51,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13548737017463133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12849079269872551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1664361839431641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30221925347208617,0.2846685984509404,0.1912978863831352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10409263146005077,0.0,0.0,0.16710977574905556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761838123399373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21898988413407566,0.0,0.22474698245444127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2920100625823745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13299163410409187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15366315158251367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19117239737691186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4535485670511809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15338167234232775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20828481526146386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17414112033343832,0.18342981923237428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11751460520322796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2160630357837084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Hyper_with_Huperzine,2020/02/13,"Where to learn more Hey guys, I (Male) (19) had a first manic episode, which was mixed, dysphoric, and progressed into psychosis about a year ago. 

It was a long and very difficult journey, but now I'm in therapy, and learned what it was. 

I'm writing letters to a friend I had. I was terrified, and wanted help, but... I wasn't very nice to her when she didn't understand. 

So, now, I've apologized for the way I was.  Before I send out this letter about bipolar... it would be very helpful if I could list resources for her so she doesn't feel so overwhelmed. 

Right now, the list has bpHope, and the YouTube channels Polar warriors, and Kati Morton. 

Are there any others that you can think of?",4.748996683250411,5.59975617164179,4.746517412935326,87.55113598673303,69.3731343283582,7.7466003316749585,29.81426202321725,7.793537801064563,1.7567356550580429,533,20,109,6,9,165,90,134,0.078,0.7959999999999999,0.126,0.7608,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,1,0,2,11,4,0,1,7,0,16,1,0,0,0,20,22,13,0,4,3,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,8,8,0,0,5,1,0,2,3,2,0,1,9,1,12,2,11,10,1,16,0,1,0,0,16,5,0,1,8,74,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20176392723744865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15478367559381387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19368068526507365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18172932108145934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11508725088135392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19360628874454425,0.0,0.0,0.17585213761694898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2253712435050641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30512648068897363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20142908065413534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19437904072376005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2602936716504147,0.0,0.0,0.14584430619891367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23695167590216706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5634101583981268,0.1342512036794801,0.18066747315833245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16168873182113533,0.0,0.0,0.14657439125033273
bipolarreddit,coradani9,2020/02/13,"Drinking too much then spilling guts then not remembering So I want to start with I seldom drink. Like maybe once or twice a month and I recently went out with a guy I’m newly dating and got pretty drunk. Let’s say I don’t remember anything! Like he told me I started crying, said I wanted to die, and then I also initiated sex and seemed really into it. But I don’t remember and I def do not wanna be telling this guy these things. But I swear every time I drink I always say I wanna die or feel like it. I know easy solution is to not drink but it creeps me out how I turn crazy with alcohol.",-0.002549999999999386,2.2850698800000018,2.372075,91.9709125,90.2,5.6850000000000005,17.4125,7.1686216300943375,0.24644999999999986,465,12,102,8,16,158,78,125,0.151,0.785,0.064,-0.7918,0,0,5,0,0,1,9.0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,2,0,6,8,1,1,0,30,19,16,2,4,8,0,1,3,0,0,1,3,0,2,6,11,6,0,6,5,0,1,5,0,0,1,4,4,17,3,11,13,1,13,0,0,0,1,8,3,0,3,12,64,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13463890173846402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10074959867730304,0.10482902945514083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10367434381115537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138387837074496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2615036247495428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4936666025767555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061472058648459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0637014471585244,0.0900032086320503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10076115307894916,0.0,0.0,0.2494885271695158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06923767615143021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12882748178789616,0.0,0.1846486948562324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12656816214283606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10055946578481796,0.0,0.0926129559651828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341691671303217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12817132461720165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08070876817915525,0.0,0.12439429675392018,0.0,0.4281469559933768,0.0,0.11983991880084476,0.2003755429731851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11469137449340032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17834467104216858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101158306190245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08369837043915059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.073462458092786,0.0,0.0,0.12038339697222168,0.0,0.0,0.13703474039595084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14861760780041822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11678870768474987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,brittsimmons2,2020/02/13,"Meds Help 😚 So I need some help! Has seroquel made anyone super shaky? Or is this likely the effects of adderall and being dehydrated 😬

 I feel like I’m chugging water though. 😩",0.326666666666668,2.6464948571428586,2.5307142857142857,87.30845238095242,100.42857142857143,3.4761904761904763,20.11904761904762,5.46131890053228,0.17033333333333325,140,5,25,1,6,47,32,35,0.05,0.627,0.32299999999999995,0.8874,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,2,2,4,0,1,1,0,3,1,0,2,0,8,7,4,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,3,1,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,2,13,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2527878422942124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18279873885352232,0.2582747137559749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4846473908587801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35324732332135445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3420852612337081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4015746120914149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26806743295161617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35519810184905104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Blu_Cloude,2020/02/13,"Having a deep seated delusion that won't go away, does anyone else have something like this? It doesn't go away with reason, and it's been there my whole life, only I didn't actually understand what it was until recently. I mostly just lived my life with these things in the background unconsciously dictating my thoughts or actions. It wasn't until I've gotten really manic, high and/or really drunk(one beer) (with friends, safe environment, I don't abuse) that the pieces started coming together. 

The delusion? Nothing is real. Well, the waking world isn't real. And I'm dreaming except for when I'm sleeping. The dream world is the ultimate reality. But I'm the only one here, and I might be the god of this world because it's my dream. I've always felt like I don't belong, I have no place, nowhere to call home. The only place I feel at home is when I'm sleeping. And I usually get 9-12 hrs a night. This delusion is amplified when I'm having disassociation attacks that started after a couple traumatizing events. I often feel either that I'm not real/not human, or that nothing around me is real and that I'm just in a dream.

I mostly get manic and hypomanic episodes and I've lived most of my life that way. This year I started taking ziprasidone at varying but mostly low doses. It's kept me from divulging too much into mania but I still obviously feel it. Which is fine for me. When I was on a bit of a higher dose, it kinda made me dead inside, so with guidance I lowered it. Mania has only been dangerous for me when I was off my meds, other than that I do get some wacky thoughts but I usually can control it or at least recognize it and take saftey precautions like taking an extra pill or an ativan.

The one time I actually believed the delusion was while I was being hospitalized. A major part of my delusion is the fact that whenever I see someone's face, they immediately look familiar, I know them, I've seen them before, or I've always known them. It's feeling I absolutely cannot shake. It feels too real. So that ties into the ""I'm dreaming"" thing, because you can't dream faces you've never seen before. Anyways, when I was in the hospital, this feeling that I'd seen everyone there before became so strong I started to have a psychotic panic attack. Started punching the floor, looking at people funny, disconnected from the world, lost in my head. When someone came to help, I freaked the hell out, running towards doors I knew were locked trying to get out, out of the dream. I thought that if I could get out of the hospital, I would be free.
I fell down on the ground heaving and crying. The nurse that came to help comforted me, and asked me grounding and personal questions, and I knew something was wrong so I went along with it. I was finally grounded and feeling better when talking about my S/O. Soon after that I was put on ziprasidone and haven't had an instance like it since.

I know it's a delusion and my brain is sick, I've never accepted it as reality besides the above mentioned time. Even if I was in a simulation/dream, It would be too risky to leave anyways. (Ways that I would leave would be indulging in hard drugs for some reason/disconnecting from the world, which I will absolutely not do. I don't break my rules for myself. I've seen first hand what happens to people that do that, aka my parents) 

I just want to know if anyone else has something like this. If it's a part of my bipolar being untreated for so many years, or if it's a whole other mental illness altogether. Just any insight or advice would be appreciated as well. Thanks for reading :)

More info: 18F, multiple sexual/verbal/mental traumas, fibromyalgia spurred on by a surgery, PTSD, panic disorder, Bipolar 1",4.5738333333333365,6.120204938888893,5.55638888888889,78.97416666666669,70.44444444444444,7.9444444444444455,29.305555555555557,8.458729078192134,2.250180555555555,2956,115,537,47,54,973,314,720,0.106,0.773,0.121,0.6465,2,0,5,0,1,0,100.0,0,1,4,5,33,28,4,3,39,0,59,20,8,3,4,106,118,49,1,12,24,1,10,5,1,8,11,0,3,2,52,31,1,3,23,9,1,11,16,12,2,3,33,17,66,17,67,69,18,87,1,2,7,0,16,40,1,22,38,370,118,1,0.0,0.07107590366388104,0.1170791588463278,0.0,0.0,0.05861952404578567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09982954893603584,0.0,0.0,0.04079385860688023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08388992967133763,0.12292947418317797,0.0,0.053401987835586896,0.05608062933027404,0.1364898915854689,0.11272129507034435,0.0,0.0,0.07313618705437934,0.0,0.15313596461530582,0.06758586991318062,0.0,0.05305446109564264,0.06549129748482584,0.0,0.0,0.0669663840723131,0.06125439729655832,0.1372204526277248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05167430156974285,0.0,0.0,0.06728157943551824,0.047895491565763525,0.06637551841677923,0.06589393904143913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06875138028288771,0.0,0.052495853547529316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06956696946765215,0.0,0.10022445850258928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03962147087598713,0.0,0.0,0.0573210506745528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2123219464409267,0.0,0.0575978330589063,0.06571385984045477,0.0,0.05102571403701319,0.0,0.0,0.04634653628777224,0.0,0.15670612265653408,0.0,0.06818506134835031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053047140262246065,0.0,0.05373741448071004,0.0,0.06156493648165293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08041730797959183,0.06338055580081861,0.1203455967571943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09890341466722853,0.0,0.0,0.12703714103500474,0.0,0.0,0.1271137754973534,0.14653539526006287,0.0,0.10594090615816666,0.0,0.10074952826377843,0.0,0.06548392653993597,0.0,0.0,0.056762042521603426,0.0,0.060818359158362076,0.0,0.0,0.06663308183732768,0.0,0.06045373766293485,0.06363772816352409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044098040722553626,0.0,0.09253280022580854,0.0,0.0,0.05629462121466371,0.0,0.11512009921043227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08129876593718728,0.1824941365562055,0.0,0.14076585298215352,0.06660951208494073,0.12992219390534532,0.0,0.0831761735762669,0.052379158360552035,0.12534926620362732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07012269570153093,0.060304451928669435,0.06720022552780837,0.0,0.060004177019801215,0.3413970632796172,0.07685962528114418,0.12335519364856967,0.05923085713806658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047802624248782837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0496226467039006,0.0,0.12006253201137823,0.0,0.10165517960062756,0.1385449487953376,0.0,0.0,0.21229887558131288,0.0,0.04790644911307484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13531040360388233,0.04821603662641633,0.0,0.05522883867630163,0.0,0.0,0.07970664815891683,0.0,0.0,0.1428711790962156,0.06995890444901581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04072787587719318,0.0,0.0,0.06244956469946133,0.0,0.0,0.13213648931147018,0.0,0.03538244326925048,0.0952312745721862,0.0,0.0,0.10787273081256926,0.05560942455343587,0.0,0.13394879309407673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21306856937375845,0.06558739907597934,0.0,0.07726053757434595
bipolarreddit,criticalvibes,2020/02/13,"Meds question Hi there all, just curious what the general census is on meds, right now I’m on my second cocktail of drugs and it’s just not doing it for me (depressive episode seems resistant to treatment I guess) I’m currently on 80mg Prozac and 10 mg abilify. What should I ask my psych about ? Sorry if this is against the rules",1.4636363636363647,4.0431743787878816,2.8244696969697003,89.50670454545454,85.51515151515152,6.936363636363637,24.91666666666667,8.07648339933343,1.7992484848484858,263,11,53,6,8,85,51,66,0.021,0.9420000000000001,0.037000000000000005,0.25,1,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,2,0,4,2,0,0,1,12,9,3,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,2,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,5,0,8,8,1,6,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,4,2,34,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25755148465006983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23728422176539185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3194877889740033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.303489802208576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6120276950868336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3086184670214363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2352720000419395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2508011276275257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3083951136848685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,max_harlan,2020/02/13,"Letter to a Young Manic Depressive I just wrote this letter to a friend with bipolar - Thoughts?

[https://medium.com/@maxharlan/letter-to-a-young-manic-depressive-fcd33a212ca9](https://medium.com/@maxharlan/letter-to-a-young-manic-depressive-fcd33a212ca9)",42.53833333333333,55.379387277777795,20.838888888888885,-43.65499999999997,9.555555555555543,6.844444444444445,28.222222222222207,7.793537801064563,2.9804222222222223,233,4,12,2,3,52,15,18,0.138,0.691,0.17,0.1531,0,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,1,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,8,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6138054927077726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.550592601703135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5657655027231169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,imustnottelllilies,2020/02/13,"How do you get disciplined without it becoming an obsession? Like many of you, I'm sure, I'm not good with balance. It's everything at once or nothing at all. I get obsessed. 

So, I wrote a massive list of things in my life I'm not a fan of (mostly me, obviously), and realized I can change 90% of them if I really give it my all. Okay, 100% if I'm also lucky along the way. 

Decided to start slow and go easy on myself, so it's not like ""I'm going to exercise for 3000 years each day, do a surgery on my own nose, and read depressed Russian classics before bed."" 

Ok, physical changes first, mental health, social, and intellectual later. Started with cutting out all sugar, caffeine, and nicotine from my diet. Survived the withdrawal. Goodbye wheat and high-sugar fruit. Added 16-8 intermittent fasting+a weekly 24-hour fast. Decided to do an elimination diet. Dropped all my supplements. Ordered a bunch of new ones to fix something about the way my body works, maybe. 

And it comes so easily--I don't feel hungry or miss anything even though I've been addicted to all that stuff for almost two decades and binge-eating was my main hobby. I don't feel any discomfort about removing 90% of the things that made me happy from my life. That wouldn't be the case normally, I tried to quit many times before, and it was depressing af.

Decided to create reminders for every tiny thing I might forget to do. Like, to the point where I have twice-daily ""brush my teeth & floss"" alerts. I now have a detailed shower schedule (like, do I shampoo my hair this time? is this a shaving day?) and a list of things to do on my weekly self-care day, which includes not only ""take a bath"" but also stupid stuff like trim my nails. 
I haven't even gotten to establishing a skin care or exercise routine, and it's a long way until I get to all the  ""actually become a better person"" stuff. For now, I'm just trying to be less gross. 

On the one hand, this has removed so much mental clutter for me, because now I don't have to worry if change my cat's water and litter often enough, or if I forgot to shower while working on some project (I work at home). On the other hand, what kind of psycho needs reminders to brush their teeth? 

It started out so good, I felt as if I was really making my life a little bit better each day, getting healthier, and I felt like I might actually not be bipolar (haha, classic, I know), like what if it had been sugar and caffeine all along? Well, now I'm beginning to suspect I'm getting a little bit too obsessed with self-improvement and discipline and that I probably shouldn't be feeling so good for someone whose apartment's still a dump and who spends 100% of time every day just trying to get basic stuff right, like eating and sleeping.

I'm so pissed at myself. Now all the progress I thought I'd made seems like a tiny dent in an insurmountable mess, and I might actually be going backwards.

I don't want to drop this endeavor entirely, but I'm worried I'll overdo it and do more damage than good as usual. I can't tell if I'm spiralling or just determined. I want to get better but I think what I'm actually doing is trying to get perfect. I'm going too fast. I want to change everything at once, and I feel as if I can handle it long-term. 

TLDR: has anyone here had any success creating a basic lifestyle routine and get disciplined and keep at it? how on Earth do you do that without becoming a perfectionism freak?",4.552717172353017,5.600610181952663,5.572320282009318,80.72947186201691,69.96153846153845,8.356741785219691,29.027949137605443,8.656518465578396,2.1878813798312984,2697,99,517,44,47,891,309,676,0.122,0.7659999999999999,0.11199999999999999,-0.5495,2,0,1,0,0,0,110.0,0,3,2,12,31,42,4,4,30,3,42,25,10,5,11,112,98,56,0,15,26,0,10,9,0,5,8,0,5,1,36,33,7,5,15,4,1,7,15,15,1,4,15,16,54,27,70,73,21,69,0,4,0,0,12,24,1,22,41,329,90,6,0.0,0.0,0.22308259890604398,0.062302487193446464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05722797631379911,0.0,0.0,0.09140647788603913,0.0,0.061922549296174835,0.0,0.07772860761131073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039960962560575804,0.0,0.04702999684036888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03483841796212488,0.18935473113206466,0.09726174242279303,0.0,0.0,0.1516349346211602,0.12478710124506548,0.06348132842712342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058268749675542936,0.0,0.2418306295422947,0.049230100405672966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1842867419020793,0.0,0.09844729402532083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05847923520418299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05905174991722996,0.0,0.07549474033287841,0.0,0.0963035322515451,0.0,0.10272637928507228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11558805191183552,0.0,0.10974689617476943,0.0,0.0,0.048612191147333915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2687290249269233,0.054823972897032176,0.1299197982121062,0.1917405315413609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060837776270104275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06074831532373207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06038264729384685,0.05732661721359759,0.0,0.05628173624670906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050797995576277316,0.0,0.05951345736761455,0.03140842344338884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211012774354179,0.2512876537174411,0.1145596418337195,0.0,0.10115279865015747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10815438110172104,0.03814840648814776,0.11588328576955916,0.057415364755155435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11518853606672196,0.18188296611135807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04201219767885436,0.04237637599446552,0.0,0.05519631475297678,0.0,0.0,0.05599536160846543,0.05483745179595292,0.0,0.0,0.12172684724598183,0.07745332376758339,0.04346553505896422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04990161737888882,0.0,0.0,0.05402570077833188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061617911505975925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060786597849661575,0.057165971666935274,0.0,0.073224155040127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04880621979778072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05202767417430998,0.11924088349102575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05719177934027845,0.058257743661067514,0.048423438212718134,0.043997251584767014,0.0,0.0,0.1213542667444496,0.0,0.0456404678587255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2616946245970082,0.0,0.0,0.05386367548904592,0.0,0.042970067989925295,0.0,0.049952061191923205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15187302673330166,0.0366197365626207,0.0561500819056696,0.045371117933677006,0.09997475879710478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15520576827054994,0.0,0.055827739998728525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06294320811745402,0.0,0.10112654734533437,0.13609023440659546,0.09168537718074722,0.0,0.0513851683294589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101820965888043,0.0,0.12481874692531204,0.11607822584369695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03680305206494006
bipolarreddit,PartyHatDude,2020/02/13,"I don’t understand... I live in Canada where most meds are very cheap but my Bipolar meds cost me 200$ a month... 

In short because of this I had a mini “breakdown” in my low and quit my job... I’ve been trying to find a new one but without my meds I can’t work... and even when I work I can hardly afford them...

I just feel lost and just want to sleep...",0.15740259740259788,1.5925707142857166,2.185714285714287,98.98428571428572,82.11688311688313,4.919480519480519,17.493506493506494,5.288315135182226,-0.787618181818182,263,5,67,1,7,88,54,77,0.084,0.895,0.022000000000000002,-0.631,2,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,4,5,2,0,0,3,0,6,2,1,0,0,13,10,6,0,1,5,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,0,2,0,3,2,0,1,3,2,13,0,7,7,1,9,0,2,0,0,1,6,0,1,3,42,14,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11831415332164355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12819319597739068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09813664982516394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17739278083109242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17386459294773232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.192602245189948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17138312946108994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21186981812405836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6467635498908453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549190720231486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874512572176248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13151895177145176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20643632169821116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942280202551023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13177291147038445,0.0,0.0,0.20205229915057596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16014280469594347,0.1144780439466946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1870937636043108,0.0,0.2825965361418317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MundaneAlternative,2020/02/13,"How I live with someone who is bipolar. As of today I've been with the person who is bipolar for l over 2 years. In the last two years my partner has been hospitalized once for a month.
He has experienced hypomania and full blown mania (last one was the main reason for his family to make the decision to forcebly hospitalize him and have court ordered force treatment). He either has long depressive episodes or short but really bad manic episodes. For a little periods he actually is stable. But those stable periods usually doesn't last very long. 

What I have noticed, is that person who is bipolar is much more sensitive and susceptible to extreme things. ( For example this year the global virus threat sent my partner to manic episode.) I know that I can't stop him reading things online and what he reads, all I can do is be there for him and help him if needed. 

But how to I live with the person every day and how do I know when he's depressed or when he has full blown mainia or hypomania? Well, it comes with experience, you start to notice small things that the person normally doesn't do. As for example: he doesn't eat much or sleep. Mostly sleeps 2 to 3 hours per night. Has a lot of energy and wants to have everything done immediately. That means he has either hypomanic episode or manic episode. 
But it can be different from person to person.

We do have most needed medications at home and when needed he does take them. It's better than being hospitalized. When he was in the hospital, he did receive electric shock treatment which he didn't like and to be honest, it was pretty horrible to look as bystander. He didn't remember who he was or where he was.

So to all who have a family member or a friend who has bipolar, the best advice I can give is to stay as calm as possible and try to notice simple changes in their behavior and speak patterns. What they say or what they suddenly think that is important to them. Don't try to reason with them but try to guide them softy in the direction where they are at one point when they want to take the medication themselves. It can take as long as needed. But if you can't get them to take necessary medications.. Please call the ambulance or take them yourself to the hospital.",5.524816359262225,6.598319404651164,6.136479550922214,77.47662790697677,67.74418604651163,9.65196471531676,29.478748997594234,9.83838024301492,2.764474739374498,1784,63,334,40,29,581,196,430,0.059000000000000004,0.8340000000000001,0.10800000000000001,0.9647,1,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,1,2,11,2,13,12,1,0,18,0,51,10,2,6,2,62,73,44,0,9,19,0,0,1,3,0,7,2,1,8,26,18,1,1,8,2,0,3,8,5,1,3,12,4,29,7,50,57,14,46,0,2,1,0,56,16,0,14,26,232,55,2,0.0,0.0,0.07582167363306876,0.0,0.0,0.07592521956122328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06487427114375792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08153886349881882,0.06871723496497142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07933796187425628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08219378453340515,0.06692962381085138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05010854012969799,0.0,0.1338417005046717,0.0,0.0,0.08117748065401467,0.0,0.0,0.06799371491888688,0.0795116460474122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07950406724157806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06546359983159164,0.0,0.06982961505608101,0.07600318590471078,0.1464928112011147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060028992060782375,0.0,0.0405938020240228,0.0745346414404599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05207908000160552,0.0,0.07793705259257662,0.0,0.07651650927731439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08540116506915353,0.19000180274008535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03795913474125442,0.07787343178923488,0.13721685208994855,0.20627985841837795,0.06524643605211078,0.0,0.0,0.0660557419769084,0.0,0.0,0.051863767780188176,0.0,0.0,0.08463549107384127,0.0,0.23481654786506526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0620175027103198,0.0,0.11423338822964592,0.2304472166747756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07291395734466942,0.07612717538100558,0.0,0.2653777818924337,0.0,0.08274543446711828,0.10529984257491108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4070554133995472,0.0,0.0852886596976609,0.07344936937798112,0.08759239750074084,0.0,0.07904641706074643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15543730144449874,0.0,0.04977508790677188,0.15977219730527992,0.0,0.0,0.08801626247217399,0.0,0.0,0.061788269669275885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15550747387372635,0.0,0.06583294522047654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054994778628779516,0.08281532986999751,0.0,0.06495869326967763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29209472070881626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15485654806480836,0.049785500577737014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0736482632154149,0.0,0.0,0.15825476077677847,0.0,0.07589928936838701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08557295650495708,0.06410867748281414,0.0916561441792704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06985949566236609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15010416855744027
bipolarreddit,suicideDenver,2020/02/13,"Bipolar Road. Bipolar Road when you don't know
Bipolar Road when you're not sure 

Ups and downs like rollcoasters
Brain producing chemicals 
Preventing sleep while flashing periodicals
Crashing awake concerned death is coming too soon and also not soon enough.

Inconvenience gas stations selling only diesel
Breaking down with your hydrogen fuel cell
Showing up when disinvited looking to be Grand

Sleep, a fleeting idea after taking all medical available options.
But it's okay, I can solve the world, that's what you tell me. Be a billionaire by the end of the year.

You're a liar, we've been here before. You're path doesn't follow the road. It leads to blownup and blowup Bridges. Explosives barried under the ones to defuse. Making it an adventure....

An adventure that leaves me scarred, scared, broken a heap and husk of a person. Fun while it lasted. Deadly when the merry-go-round stops. 

I'll continue to travel the bipolar road through this strong mania. At the end there is a semi waiting to tbone me on this travel. Well I can make that work. I will make that work. I've done it before.

Welcome to my bipolar road the mania section. How great it comes to visit a few times a year. I wouldn't trade it, I wanted to for a long time but I know how to thrive here now. I can thrive here, 

I AM THRIVING HERE! 

I'M WRITING FROM A PLACE OF STRENGTH!

Now I'm going to take a warm bath and hope to convince my brain sleep won't stop me. It thinks it will.",2.77185851318945,5.435201413669066,3.1772374100719425,88.78832613908872,79.8273381294964,5.7210551558753,24.374580335731416,7.0316486544052195,1.0558614868105516,1155,42,217,14,30,357,167,278,0.046,0.816,0.138,0.9722,0,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,0,3,0,6,18,17,1,1,22,1,16,11,5,7,2,34,34,16,2,3,4,0,1,1,0,4,6,0,1,1,16,8,0,4,4,4,2,8,6,2,1,1,2,2,17,15,27,26,4,48,0,0,1,0,9,16,0,2,24,132,33,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10539017481132627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22428239821628526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.294236195736414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270460040786873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348640593274706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2334486822383733,0.1361714047105216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14979540358285026,0.0,0.0,0.14529585129852896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130894423830426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487717056090492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14485359522872412,0.10742415596069027,0.0,0.13954361435659554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06438456822678998,0.0,0.0,0.11662752333249247,0.11066805505939176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639069344891685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13276173750053508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08930241620031402,0.10023010281269618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11507149822545035,0.1376895726752967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13194197589109322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3956471201061347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22035999752119054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242078746945817,0.0,0.198175143899926,0.0,0.11518782000913122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08444391529210793,0.0,0.0,0.15369235018526425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07773150400476853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11849251821523756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918852997791527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697332696945227
bipolarreddit,merderlee27,2020/02/13,"It has been a while... Its been a few months but some good things have happened. I have been on my medication for a couple months and it seems to help a bunch for the most part. I recently got a promotion at work. I met an awesome guy. Im buying a house. All these good things happening but sometimes, things just seem so .... meh. With all of this great stuff happening to me, why do i just feel sad? I mean brighter side i am not suicidal anymore but jeez, i just want a break from feeling like nothing will make me happy. All the good things are happening but i just feel so bad.",0.74318681318681,3.122883837606839,1.8897985347985369,96.39865384615385,86.69230769230771,5.736019536019538,20.322954822954824,7.1686216300943375,0.4091518925518929,447,14,101,7,14,141,77,117,0.084,0.593,0.32299999999999995,0.9892,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,2,6,8,0,0,10,0,10,1,0,1,3,24,24,8,1,1,9,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,10,2,0,0,6,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,5,3,11,6,9,18,8,8,0,1,0,0,3,3,1,4,5,71,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330825132537084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1120448054878152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484810158109953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2035546864167772,0.09586686920947056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3376619220216435,0.10732568794414338,0.14794727349098158,0.0,0.13287128518497218,0.474662553898217,0.1428499949158626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08994614175832183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.154839676367659,0.0,0.0,0.1449505047887721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06555948596547505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08957427452124109,0.0,0.0,0.14617454604955046,0.0,0.13518443170667754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2142217216628083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12876094740004718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453169767076513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13249851820355565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443269115651915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13271942670642414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15361785918678153,0.14678438656740347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3566050968133392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07914998246047822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210875057803486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09769345329412277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lolumadbr0,2020/02/13,Quetiapen? How does it make you feel? Side effects? Stories on it?,0.08750000000000213,-0.6738639166666633,2.2966666666666704,83.94000000000005,146.5,4.533333333333334,28.0,5.985473137389443,2.0291,51,3,9,1,4,17,11,12,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,4,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.722503617802992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4174571189258718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5511062294328549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Triposer,2020/02/13,"How the day changes After four hours of sleep I woke up to take an East Coast to West Coast flight.   On the plane I was hyper focused and did a ton of work in five hours - emails, follow up, operational tasks...I was on fire.   Got to the house all amped up and ready to go. One bad Conference call at 4pm sent me into a panic, which led to drinking leading to depression. 

Yes, I am medicated and mostly stable but I hate having BP.   Most people can travel time zones easily but it fucks me up every time",2.8152941176470603,4.187471460784317,4.190343137254903,87.72904411764708,74.58823529411767,7.060784313725492,20.59313725490196,7.645422480735847,0.5617019607843137,387,8,83,5,8,128,77,102,0.159,0.7490000000000001,0.091,-0.8608,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,1,5,2,1,6,1,6,4,1,3,1,12,14,6,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,0,2,0,6,0,5,0,3,6,1,6,0,18,8,4,23,0,1,0,1,3,11,1,2,6,51,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23285709316975325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1794425669771823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2194492097785084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22734842991238396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386004792011804,0.0,0.18510341529640745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21053197013793584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18107265315269924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19868270736962154,0.0,0.0,0.12213945848778535,0.0,0.17188478183741854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21218113484132145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42329011482623136,0.2479796263321682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2165012588953608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14562995252820884,0.0,0.0,0.2521529601472949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14899294066466467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21506723547000112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16158709935507712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25063386427555784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15645851639118846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Reaper_of_Souls,2020/02/13,"I'm losing it at my job. Any advice on how I should deal with this? The other day as we were closing, one of my coworkers threatened to fight me. I guess I was a little too sarcastic when I asked him where something went that I ""should know"" (really, I did know, I was just trying to confirm.) The manager told us to ""stop fighting"" and she would finish everything if we went home... but I guess we all decided to stay and just drop it.

He's been trying to be nice to me since then, but I don't know if it's because he doesn't want me to go to the other managers about this. I had assumed maybe the manager who was there might have told everyone, but I guess she didn't. Because I texted another one of my managers today (the one I'm closest to) and he had no idea.

But the good news is they are taking it seriously. He won't be there tomorrow so he's having yet another manager talk to me about it.

But I have to be honest... I'm really not afraid for my safety. I'm just stressed out that I have been working here for eight months and even though I just got a raise, I'm the only one in my position that I have told them I wanted to get out of. They just can't find anyone else willing to do it. I'm working 50+ hours next week by myself because the other guy in my position ghosted after I stopped paying for his Ubers. (Sadly, I never got paid back.)

I don't want to talk too much about my mental health and how it's being affected by this, but I've hinted at my issues before and they seem to be pretty understanding. And once I have the chance to talk about stuff like this, I tend to... overshare. So I'm trying to figure out how I can say what I need to say without giving out too much information or making anyone uncomfortable.

As for the guy who threatened me... I don't want to get him in trouble. I just want it on record that he did that incase there's another incident in the future. I've seen him do this before so it's not that much of a stretch that it might happen again. Especially if everyone sweeps it under the rug and thinks the way to deal with it is just to not piss him off.

So yeah, interested to hear what you guys have to say about this. Am I doing the right thing here?",3.245934782608696,3.973092843478263,4.7662499999999985,86.49437500000002,72.73913043478261,7.9239130434782625,24.375,8.17850203761792,1.2042608695652175,1708,46,376,25,32,575,206,460,0.098,0.833,0.069,-0.4521,1,0,1,0,3,0,57.0,4,1,4,3,34,14,3,2,17,1,43,2,1,5,2,75,84,30,1,12,21,0,0,1,0,7,1,4,3,3,34,18,0,2,12,0,2,3,13,9,0,5,20,5,57,5,59,52,4,44,0,2,1,0,44,20,1,11,19,272,91,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07856472648910666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05467390593928317,0.2529152935501189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11243334856610566,0.08237801887565319,0.0,0.0,0.07516197677123086,0.0,0.0,0.06182167484255949,0.0,0.14703099247007312,0.0,0.1368268265734576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051850541530323625,0.1657751587177624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06716283779124985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053102615095214606,0.0,0.0,0.1536488991209483,0.0722572109692325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07348299954082325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08401005546249647,0.07712580553042025,0.045692461536296164,0.06743465571043533,0.1286044474082278,0.0,0.265704856971403,0.2388222037280711,0.07109634773693223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08546010999163542,0.09061523271071878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08064650001262705,0.0,0.07917657213260934,0.0,0.0,0.09076040083527524,0.0,0.08391540513536147,0.0797833521101994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325551486242089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03927876739697836,0.0805806674599858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08994563431663592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05366678889956149,0.0,0.0807713491483208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08102302845418853,0.17058073360166867,0.0,0.0,0.06417351396718443,0.0,0.17730699273676495,0.059614653249802016,0.06200847123335217,0.0,0.08550498108474902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08562204317222137,0.2179210907535922,0.06114687110562925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0817944310495365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10301099397449716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06866009188842193,0.0,0.19180893522029666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07319200102670999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06650667553889497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06189488448735549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08569436845809855,0.0,0.13443390745038947,0.09209649471504652,0.0,0.09203733174779544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0604498530897114,0.19386440567059587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05341335599277148,0.051516271650148784,0.07899136214931762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07620861275548982,0.2304733486814225,0.0,0.16375641806344596,0.0,0.0,0.08369793255477104,0.0967097951533686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2371063244895832,0.06381678426908616,0.06449102643205502,0.0,0.0,0.14906089059491082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07750152447363153,0.0,0.11706249283797635,0.0,0.0,0.05711296414894055,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,KahleenB,2020/02/13,"Long term medications Hi guys, 

You’ve have always been so helpful.  I recently started getting concerned over the long term effects of the medications I’ve been taking for the last 6 years. I know for a fact that these medications are worth the side effects I have now. But does anyone know if there’s any research or information about being on medications for a lifetime?",6.287941176470588,8.13711661764706,6.546352941176476,72.35158823529414,66.64705882352939,8.969411764705884,34.188235294117646,9.3871,3.372155294117648,302,14,50,6,5,97,49,68,0.0,0.912,0.08800000000000001,0.6722,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,6,0,6,4,0,2,1,9,11,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,7,8,2,12,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,2,9,30,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15778220698200796,0.0,0.0,0.12895069868400694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13258938248423874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16594108094068594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09907061844457944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1877573923850079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12710084807356725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20842458250847534,0.15456872038335412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3356222235449492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7641041885900467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18723064383809224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13421671433367255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14257351212332395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12211152169892522
bipolarreddit,bzthepeach,2020/02/14,"What's happening to me!? So I was diagnosed BP1 last May and have been on the same med combo for a while.

Wellbutrin 300mg
Lamotrigine 150
Trazodone 50mg

Since last May I've gained 14 lbs. My mood swings have become more tolerable and less frequent, which is a good thing. But I've been having violent night terrors for months now. 

My psych had already taken me down from 200mg Lamotrigine to 150 bc of the night terrors. I saw her yesterday and now she's taking me off of it completely over the next month and I'm starting trintellix. Took it last night and woke up feeling nauseous as hell. 

Anyways my point is, I'm nervous I'll go manic without the Lamotrigine and I'm super nervous to see how the trintellix works out. 

Anyone had experience with any of this?",2.7554000000000016,5.191061073333337,4.043333333333333,83.885,78.26666666666667,7.2,26.66666666666667,8.238735603445708,1.9560666666666664,611,25,117,12,15,200,101,150,0.131,0.799,0.07,-0.8922,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,3,5,9,2,4,7,0,12,1,0,1,0,15,25,11,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,6,8,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,6,0,0,9,3,10,2,18,14,3,24,1,0,2,0,2,7,1,2,15,69,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18988853866922098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11701659089139553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12031852238909338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1900428150986778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18041688596644556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17465204044296725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16832192295655388,0.0,0.0,0.08700605991900234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0977939290518466,0.14432796383586086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521649513434062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4207911605510836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1911360274185093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27469651933412714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830032301310604,0.4844409098592618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16266606388248422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13712113333430784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14234184131135974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12179524820146273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293786424606133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143186812605574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19118115029133625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16587372032394654,0.0,0.1252723177338077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,AmandaSpill,2020/02/14,"Coming Into My Fifth Year of Stability and Something Made Me Realize How Bad Things Were While I was Untreated My psychiatrist trusted me with Xanax of all things, after I gave him a ring asking for something to deal with my new wave of panic attacks. Which is 100% true. I'm in grad school and have to do like, four professional-grade presentations a semester. I failed at them spectacularly last semester and am still trying to recover my GPA. 

Anyway, I pop the Xanax before a meeting with my professor (also an anxiety inducer), and on the way there I felt like someone clapped me in the back of the head. My thought pattern was slowed way down and while I didn't feel dumb or too out of it, I didn't feel like doing much of anything. After the meeting I spent the rest of the night watching documentaries on YouTube. Nothing else.

Back when I misused it to calm down, this never happened to me. I'd pop two a day and hardly brush that level of calm. I managed to forget how badly I wrecked my life but still lucky that the important things are still in place. Really, I couldn't remember what the crazy felt like, just memories of what I did to keep it down.

Throwing this out there as joining this subreddit was the most effective first step I took to get stable. Not a success story, I just don't want to lay this on friends and family IRL. Figured this was a good place.",5.214756554307115,6.208434014981277,5.7515543071161055,80.24658239700376,68.40074906367043,9.079400749063671,30.563670411985026,9.2995712137729,2.595358052434457,1090,42,210,21,18,352,157,267,0.079,0.779,0.142,0.9525,1,0,2,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,1,4,15,18,2,1,17,0,16,4,1,5,3,41,32,16,0,2,5,0,5,4,1,0,3,1,0,0,16,14,0,1,10,0,1,4,6,6,0,3,15,8,28,12,38,16,4,41,0,1,1,0,8,16,1,3,23,150,44,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10134015222423996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09694257108382567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10428204103544046,0.0,0.11846868227615888,0.1441654435163172,0.0,0.19488397376761132,0.21161643704816932,0.0,0.0,0.10783174246150544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091604443034229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08172570220044914,0.13064560999499633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10586061241143796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11946294814956405,0.0,0.1281496787421654,0.09053077117116873,0.24334746118004974,0.0,0.0,0.10779032219065716,0.0,0.0,0.09790569663084284,0.0,0.06620741627699206,0.0,0.0,0.10628904593711497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1120605257187144,0.0,0.11351870973068462,0.0,0.13005412004996136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11263701924505433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032959698293136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08950803906302124,0.2476413747932656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199081476285708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09315581579148076,0.0,0.09773641131517084,0.12238963952330692,0.0,0.11892073384662424,0.0,0.12159391415386912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14868186494541386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26479664313272466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08118185045385265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14355219363763205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12825020717640245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10737179055987747,0.19511475668529016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3036028999709571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25256692967259964,0.0,0.0,0.10060372315658446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14079365859228826,0.08603644154316514,0.0,0.1237897313330469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07474437216338864,0.20117327042825547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08160530817580698
bipolarreddit,bipolarfloridaman,2020/02/14,Meds Question So I made the mistake of taking my Latuda 40mg in the morning without eating anything and threw it up about 15 minutes later. I definitely tasted that stuff coming up but I was wondering if I should take my medication again or just wait until tomorrow?,3.917200000000001,6.641424319999999,5.537999999999999,73.16900000000003,75.8,7.2,30.0,8.238735603445708,2.7808,216,10,33,4,5,73,44,50,0.039,0.9209999999999999,0.04,0.0047,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,2,3,0,1,0,13,9,6,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,2,2,1,2,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,3,1,6,0,7,5,0,9,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,4,4,27,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323635990317705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24323376737160485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28893145808178183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2671820426562088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3136455652912721,0.2844545774420565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3163151417013272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3232421268548397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4246089865865533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27219126336687965,0.3062144621452433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mariakay17,2020/02/14,"Hypomania and Sex I am having a bit of an issue with determining weather my sexual activity of late is hypomanic. I mean I think I’m slightly there; I have been having some racing thoughts along with it, and have just contacted my doctor. But I have been having sex on the first date a lot and feel like when I want it, I’ll just jump onto tinder. The last guy I slept with, 2 days ago, was definitely for the sexual attention/need and have no desire to contact him again.

The question I wrestle with is being a woman now is all about doing what you want, when you want to (as long as you’re safe of course) and I surround myself with friends who are likeminded and feminist in their thoughts. I love feeling empowered and squashing the double standard. 

I don’t know if this is exactly normal for me. Last year I slept around a lot in the summer and that led to a huge break down and tremendous anxiety, so I feel I was hypo at that time. I don’t want to go back to that place. And then I was depressed and sick so of course didn’t engage in any sexual activity. 

I guess my question to you is how do I know how to balance this all out. I want to have healthy sexual relations and engage in the casual stuff if I’d like to, but how do I keep this from going into overdrive? 

Have anyone else experienced conflicting thoughts about this, about what’s normal and what’s hypo? My friends will sleep around too. Again, I did just call my doctor about it and I am taking an antidepressant that I no longer really need that my doctor wanted to take me off of for fear of going into hypomania, so that could very well be the issue. 

Just wondering if anyone else has been in my shoes.",5.104996446339734,5.51283910447761,6.129936034115138,79.52691542288558,68.40298507462687,9.366027007818053,27.594171997157073,9.362217197678863,2.169253020611229,1320,39,264,25,21,440,165,335,0.055,0.831,0.113,0.8316,1,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,3,1,1,25,12,0,1,15,0,35,11,4,4,3,73,64,30,0,14,9,0,3,2,2,1,4,0,0,2,18,25,0,3,13,1,0,5,5,2,1,1,13,4,38,10,47,47,7,42,0,1,0,3,16,18,0,10,20,201,56,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09108257877144096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06987421645602279,0.0,0.07860424835321654,0.0,0.0,0.14369180323988626,0.21056112319935666,0.0,0.18294038292206846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0790091912295428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11217750055320078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10492027873188388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0820383278077385,0.0,0.0,0.066265906925971,0.0,0.08849930216984866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3155100658812467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17167058343474434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11562346294714275,0.15586200770645836,0.07340534856037095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08739996433786845,0.0,0.0,0.1587703649103948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1751873161215842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11319183176739032,0.10173966338001372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2144907367304137,0.0,0.0913298268812006,0.0,0.0,0.11293854582859753,0.16751158908976824,0.1159076250400202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10039791553470342,0.0,0.0,0.09093141849854897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1747104840188107,0.0927368063860545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11192598227001704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07618857869334117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20134836517996926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10735294549751973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302093140868849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06582493391196008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10282522463572843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11762533387905508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545119576499989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06583870412125455,0.0,0.2447184952445869,0.05991494552653435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08478035169708424,0.36363127943796575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09238550605296844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11142909712571157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06616828746212335
bipolarreddit,FoundTheMoon,2020/02/14,"Hypomania and sleep So, I just have a question about how other ppl here experience their hypomania. Does anyone else have a lot of the typical symptoms like big ideas, fast thoughts, and impulsivity but still have a need for sleep? I've always been someone that needs to sleep a lot. Sometimes I can make myself go off of 3-6 hours of sleep, but it's not pretty lol. Given the ability to sleep as much as I want I could probably sleep about 10 hours a day on average, even when I'm not depressed at all. Is this normal/does anyone relate?",5.025862533692724,5.820193311320758,6.011940700808626,78.93103773584906,68.71698113207547,9.076010781671158,28.350404312668466,9.23628265651192,2.238961185983828,425,14,84,8,7,141,76,106,0.063,0.8390000000000001,0.098,0.3865,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,0,9,2,0,0,7,1,7,7,6,2,1,19,15,9,0,4,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,3,0,6,1,13,11,4,11,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,3,7,54,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10320827671337257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17345836312517726,0.12709001816542348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09903302578296948,0.0,0.0,0.07999325979085246,0.0,0.10683242708336514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085451479443143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10361655198112643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08192491649100493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12133146524068628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07049278249136272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443018690652992,0.0,0.0,0.14002207322159016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06059795234372636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21090273693703795,0.0,0.0,0.08279530473317825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09118107490051966,0.18394293691085528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215294020068126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12618967862783098,0.13373229001699755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13894922987018554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7447562665846419,0.0,0.10509569578734164,0.0,0.1226752372475576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09905568259324377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289213816971053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09847109961384257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07315992177962895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,buffystan,2020/02/14,"Graduating soon and I don’t know if I can handle most of the jobs I see available I basically can’t work in a fast paced environment because of anxiety and anything close to customer service makes me want to vomit. I know I need to get over my fears but it’s easier said than done. There’s got to be some kind of job that works for me without causing me even more stress than just regular life already gives me. My medication makes me straight up stupid. I’ll never change it because it altered my life for the better and I don’t want to regress. But at my current job which is monstrously easy, I still forget tons of stuff and make a good amount of mistakes. I want a job that is slow paced, low stress, and with minimal interaction with customers. Also it needs to pay the bills. But this job doesn’t exist! What jobs do you guys all have? How do you handle it??",2.522672413793103,4.592423609195407,3.5707902298850582,88.83135775862068,77.27586206896551,6.648850574712642,24.66810344827586,7.645422480735847,1.1569206896551725,684,24,143,10,16,220,109,174,0.14400000000000002,0.74,0.11599999999999999,-0.732,9,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,2,0,3,7,9,1,3,6,0,12,4,0,5,2,32,27,11,0,7,6,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,11,8,0,0,2,0,2,0,6,6,0,0,3,2,20,3,22,23,6,13,0,1,1,0,6,7,0,3,6,93,31,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12633028684453834,0.09154871612565707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08757602713094853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09420636107426432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13957052104153744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012472631802785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11760134075743794,0.12110347191179704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11715163681081099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07561221820987035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12882056301246772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059810487996343774,0.1098185697055,0.0,0.09601945014087276,0.0915592153301223,0.0,0.0,0.11335208601478915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6816157228928957,0.0,0.0,0.11921213332378693,0.12582919321574293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16171963193843947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2292466168918884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11532542422046806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16976927264118838,0.08829316690618523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088956268893995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912248428892623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09142297860004972,0.0,0.2622703323469959,0.0,0.13105092468780635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2025678221018042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103535516959111,0.0,0.1666839709642492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Gountark,2020/02/14,"Who else want to fuck off everything about normal life? To just give up trying to be functionnal ***sorry to repost from another sub, but somehow I feel I need nice words or some kind of validation from internet stranger**

Like just go away in the wilderness. Stop my job, my med, sell almost everything  and quit the idea of modern life. Like trying to live partly from the land in a cabin and receive basic welfare income to buy basic stuff. 

  I just feel the more I try to be a functionnal member of society, the more I'm anxious, full of debt and slowly killing my personnality. I've been working hard on me, the last years: fighting most of my addiction ( still got a lot, but no more opioid, almost no drinking and one speed relapse), having a regular job, take my meds, go to therapy, finally driving  in legalty, nothings criminal except the relapse.. and tbe list go on. But I just end up more poor, more anxious, unable to do art, no time for writing, les time in the forest and less myself. I'm desesperate and having more suidal thpoght.

The only things that still make me continu is my daughter. I just want to make a big fuck off or di",3.9408766564729873,5.868993036697256,4.992966360856268,80.83671763506626,72.76146788990826,7.596738022426095,28.166156982670746,8.344100000000001,2.1337392456676856,894,35,162,15,18,293,130,218,0.193,0.754,0.052000000000000005,-0.9888,4,0,2,0,2,0,36.0,0,0,0,2,9,8,4,0,14,0,7,6,0,2,0,36,24,12,1,4,11,1,3,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,7,1,1,3,2,4,5,3,4,0,1,2,3,15,4,32,20,12,31,0,0,0,2,6,14,2,8,14,108,19,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13032390997914647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23941816673388924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253554858711101,0.0,0.2701082354381469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11231837120359987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11711057869559315,0.0,0.0,0.09986620475526466,0.0,0.10588318633979013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2148823266856617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12089314207673812,0.0,0.0,0.1309579294342823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2210386082609591,0.0,0.11468040571715007,0.2038239986406726,0.0,0.0956126818019964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10709065866213624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349540470826615,0.0,0.0,0.2372639644162444,0.0,0.13226107782562851,0.12448983676113365,0.0,0.09744678628227244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16887920734046474,0.11680928193037443,0.0,0.1055622188876822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016346110138676,0.0,0.0,0.15959714345183376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2655796037678351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08864260897317934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11713070848765447,0.11470860078429257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08100816234615754,0.09092090433936546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294577851819395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12715298317867438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.133823114139865,0.0,0.0,0.19094082732710996,0.09994667117267036,0.0,0.0,0.13685274952231166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08988448976569732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367124489790368,0.0,0.07942173561544941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13941767070717398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24349376104598455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410238728973414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08703166262312198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07698436868783
bipolarreddit,FrancisOLeary1975,2020/02/14,"I Feel Like I Have Bipolar Again, Way Worse Than I Ever Have Before. Yes I want to make it clear that I am not diagnosed, i'm 23 and have been in and out of appointments since i was 19, and I was diagnosed with Asperger's at 21 which I feel was a massive set back as it has complete overshadowed all my other feelings. The symptoms started around the time I was 14, it started off very mild, I got depressed for the first time and randomly started smoking when I could, it kind of felt like SAD at first as the symptoms were significantly worse in the winter, i would get panic attacks when it got dark too early etc, these symptoms went on for a couple of years but didn't really get bad till i was 19, it started in my last year at college, i fell out with my at the time best friend and started to get really paranoid, i lost all my friends and started getting delusional thinking that everyone was talking about me and that my friend was following me and turning everyone against me, i also started staying up all night and i actually finished my entire last year of college 6 months early as i just pretty much did all the work in one afternoon, when i left college i kind of locked myself away and got really angry and somewhat violent (not towards people) i would smash shit up and i burnt my sisters stuff when she pissed me off, i also thought my sister was trying to turn my parents against me. I got sent to a doctor and then a psychologist to get analysed but they said i was too young to diagnose and just gave me anti depressants, i was okay for about 2 years then and didn't really have any symptoms until i started self harming at 21, i started tattooing myself and now pretty much have half a sleeve all DIY, and i would burn parts of my arm, headbutt walls and scratch the skin off my arm, i also tried to cut my little finger off at one point thinking i no longer needed it???. This was when i was sent back to the doctors and i unfortunately got a pretty narrow minded doctor who happened to specialize in Autism, she only listened to what she wanted to listen to and sent me to an Autistic specialist who also only asked and listened to autism related symptoms and yeah i was diagnosed with Asperger's or ASD. They increased my anti depressants and talked down to me like an idiot and went another 2 years with pretty much no symptoms until around October last year, i started to get really depressed, like more than i ever have before and bought a pretty expensive dog who i am terrible at looking after which made me even more depressed, around Christmas i kind of half assed my first suicide attempt, i didn't really want to die but felt i needed to so strung up a noose and kept leaning on it until for a few seconds i managed to suspend myself but changed my mind and climbed out of it, i kind of flirted with suicide a couple more times after that but since then its been full blown mania, I've lost over a stone in weight pretty much within 2 weeks, and my anxiety has increased pretty high, i have also become really randomly OCD out of nowhere, I've started becoming really obsessed with symmetry and feel anxiety if i don't open my window on the car to a certain height, my confidence has also drastically increased, i would describe myself as an extremely introverted loner but today i confronted a friend on Instagram who would accept my friend request, its something i would never even think about doing normally but its like i was possessed, I've been having a lot of anxiety since then and i already feel like i'm gonna stay up all night again. I guess that's where i'm at currently, i don't know what response i want, i suppose i just like to think i'm being heard somehow. Thank you.",9.177886740331493,6.979368798342541,9.05944060773481,70.40847030386743,61.29281767955801,11.92292817679558,39.613950276243095,10.411451182825502,4.075745303867404,2966,123,537,52,32,971,300,724,0.158,0.698,0.14300000000000002,-0.9367,3,0,1,0,0,3,48.0,0,1,2,9,34,43,7,2,27,3,46,22,7,2,11,108,117,63,3,15,14,3,11,7,5,7,14,5,1,1,29,44,1,1,14,0,2,12,10,20,0,8,43,17,92,23,97,65,23,126,0,8,1,1,32,48,3,8,69,395,121,8,0.0,0.0,0.04256868217377088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04813785172611492,0.20930650753589708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029664388073667808,0.04574136594501558,0.10011190303033993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11649821898384667,0.040780588271887235,0.04962620907159437,0.04098421129215209,0.06708509744778021,0.03642246467597388,0.0,0.09635392340102793,0.07423804852850621,0.0,0.04577849312439693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046146186476895855,0.0,0.04573673254007652,0.0,0.0,0.03482853785609445,0.09653360599598376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18785739411242425,0.17710124234832994,0.045272645518268775,0.0,0.0,0.13394659017522428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04864994978107303,0.057623707501725616,0.0789170124737254,0.0,0.08336519025506091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11028271745642967,0.06232698860382011,0.08376773026190558,0.0,0.0,0.11131429837392254,0.0,0.0,0.16851085987719291,0.0,0.13674385492582522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1744420930961974,0.0,0.04805444117474271,0.0,0.03857470238601436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046088932692509216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817019858414862,0.023973455602495402,0.10667301268536837,0.0,0.0,0.0473953223294314,0.0,0.0,0.14918019947016084,0.04372060400116227,0.0,0.0,0.03663140980921601,0.0,0.09523691436929137,0.03708577971485517,0.0,0.04127609681254542,0.029117957190623062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08809136822668334,0.0,0.034818584655129145,0.0,0.12826846373013687,0.06469017270663484,0.03364389872865085,0.0,0.0,0.08187239683623683,0.04274020050340298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059118657195724525,0.06635284173705451,0.0,0.051180901157499216,0.04843695799720425,0.04723826711921365,0.0,0.030241933169727075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04123679564297469,0.0,0.0,0.3106540848442423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2235624507608613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04149441651529722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04550715561267918,0.0,0.044777253810954376,0.10825346015334404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03358227003658314,0.0,0.0,0.33963386120889,0.09299028331694284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04993663941375442,0.09543055764985284,0.0,0.0,0.27203914173466337,0.0,0.0701232622117763,0.0,0.040161185023950816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118046093897597,0.0,0.03463091623745729,0.10174512348945756,0.0,0.041348460924764865,0.0,0.0,0.0592328137958229,0.09489620239988228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03599263621578073,0.10291730804367284,0.034625034038614916,0.034990857201133235,0.05311972277667778,0.0,0.08087587724433846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03175726296446689,0.0,0.0889088862906781,0.1859264784666886,0.0,0.0,0.16854644162043392
bipolarreddit,unibear346,2020/02/14,Memory problems Hey team! I'm having a depressive episode right now and was put on 75mg seroquel. I cant remember jackshit! I'll think my phone is in my hand and then it's just gone! I can't remember what I did the day before. Are these effects permanent or will they go away with time/right medication?,1.3827649769585264,3.8090828064516167,3.28041474654378,87.31919354838709,83.83870967741936,7.4138248847926285,24.98617511520737,8.418075326091056,1.9333336405529968,242,10,50,6,7,81,53,62,0.10800000000000001,0.8370000000000001,0.055999999999999994,-0.4545,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,2,2,2,0,0,2,0,8,2,1,1,0,10,12,4,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,4,1,0,3,2,2,0,0,3,1,6,0,4,8,0,10,0,1,0,0,4,4,0,1,3,29,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439780637970087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22096869463877666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16747222405422424,0.0,0.22366214618006927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14758222248306485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2616004471753419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2484788479755196,0.0,0.26105029064321605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5883340121664876,0.44353088523083933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.166392564736983,0.0,0.0,0.1514215928958158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,phatmamba1234,2020/02/14,"How do you know if you are bipolar? Sometimes I feel like cleaning a bunch or doing tons of homework all at once or talk a bunch mainly about my self and sometimes I’m super irritable and don’t wanna talk and just sleep. I took an online test and it said I was bipolar however that is not a professional opinion so I just wanted another point of view, what are some tell tale signs of being bipolar?",3.958916666666667,5.352557725000004,5.0975,82.26416666666668,71.75,7.333333333333335,28.333333333333336,7.793537801064563,1.7739583333333333,318,12,61,4,6,105,59,80,0.04,0.873,0.087,0.5661,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,2,0,1,5,2,0,0,4,0,8,4,1,1,1,19,14,9,0,3,6,0,1,1,0,0,3,1,2,1,3,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,3,7,2,6,10,6,3,0,0,1,0,7,2,0,5,1,46,10,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2599487651232954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12534761752283927,0.17710253494498288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1362414534602658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12111328188684238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2640094722331429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2343492347368575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23581329743473864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2586177448222587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24808284813602935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4903664237703207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3985113920795502,0.21667886108292564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2754302599911325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14622009303310846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,uxderstanding,2020/02/15,"Starting Trileptal Hey guys! I’m starting new bi polar medication. This is my first time on a mood stabilizer and I’m looking for some opinions or thoughts on this medication. Has anyone taken it? Does it work? What are the positives? 

Please try to refrain from scary stories as I’m a bit anxious about starting new meds. I’ve developed a fun paranoia scenario in my head when I’m super manic that I’ll be allergic to pretty much anything I put into my body, lol. (I know this is not logical, however, I do know my feelings are valid, but I just wanted to point that out!)",3.178214285714283,5.286873250000003,4.792285714285715,80.65271428571431,75.42857142857143,7.337142857142857,30.84285714285714,8.238735603445708,2.504157857142857,452,22,83,8,10,152,81,112,0.061,0.816,0.12300000000000001,0.7829,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,3,3,3,0,0,4,1,7,6,2,0,0,16,21,5,0,1,4,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,8,3,0,1,5,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,2,8,2,12,18,3,15,0,0,1,1,2,6,0,3,8,48,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2026188581227425,0.0,0.12540841841560585,0.0,0.14759297934580626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1958080086545624,0.19922175260165892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569538082238316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09068672179774544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15255833735893914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17758856089130048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18406884698245854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1971364279822931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15061210618699253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19922175260165892,0.3613603744146277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13184575464322834,0.0,0.0,0.3464422322183947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1968767253535653,0.16954740962845669,0.0,0.0,0.18246739715477975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803002093200773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3808428447472234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14238696410741253,0.10458270254143692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12176952631135665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10578757825786242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13057177669992873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,WRRoach,2020/02/15,Zyprexa Anyone ever take Zyprexa for mania? I started in in December and I’ve been constantly tired ever since. I thought it was because I was coming out of a really long manic phase but I’m starting to wonder if I’m tired because of the zyprexa. I feel like at any given time I can lay down and sleep. Last night I had nothing to do. I was going to take a nap and ended up being in bed for like 15 hours.,1.3062790697674416,3.120295151162793,3.4211046511627927,89.68188953488372,80.04651162790697,5.695348837209302,23.540697674418613,6.6274283507984215,0.7087953488372087,317,11,67,3,8,108,58,86,0.07,0.851,0.079,0.1779,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,8,3,1,0,2,12,20,5,0,1,2,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,5,0,0,3,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,7,1,7,2,14,12,0,20,0,0,0,0,0,7,0,2,13,40,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12747338412397072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13107038160057408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22853727458311784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16147278826491698,0.0,0.20256837665151453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16602630727091142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3391210572082958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09478106320377976,0.13391532196542552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10653295390042886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18460187578856768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15279791476943447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831585769588704,0.0,0.0,0.1658885956381119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17591044630918914,0.0,0.1798646797359595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12008617070898145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550617401872239,0.0,0.18758678125390255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2653581400755206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28188025752906026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488154779104001,0.10930442233549192,0.4308956321698503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20328305376322747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ease330,2020/02/15,"What has been your experience with weight gain and appetite increase from antipsychotic meds? I’m starting a new antipsychotic medication and I’m a pretty hyper-conscious person, especially when it comes to my health. Although I’m not entirely concerned about weight gain as I’m underweight so it could help me. But, I’m curious if it impacted you negatively or positively and how severe it was. 

what was your initial weight before starting the antipsychotic medication and what was your final weight after taking the medication before making possible needed lifestyle changes such as dieting, exercising, etc.? How many pounds did you gain because of the medication?

what was your appetite like before taking the medication and what was it like after taking it? (How often were you hungry throughout the day, what were your primary cravings)

did the medication cause food to taste better or taste the same? 

how many calories were you consuming per day?

was there any health complications due to the increased weight? Such as HBP, diabetes, etc.?

Thanks",7.354745762711865,10.260566960451982,7.2120000000000015,64.37325423728814,65.8361581920904,10.143728813559322,34.398870056497174,10.355215969177356,4.435813107344631,860,40,120,24,15,273,97,177,0.013000000000000001,0.792,0.195,0.9868,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,9,0,4,11,4,0,0,10,0,14,19,0,6,0,22,28,19,0,3,5,0,5,2,0,0,10,0,0,1,12,7,9,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,12,7,11,4,12,15,5,13,0,0,0,0,11,0,0,4,12,84,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06181316075006215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05541004260720383,0.0,0.2320402707819661,0.0,0.0,0.08039111876658238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09337638425946156,0.0961571037843432,0.07829982302872872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0725739564841866,0.0,0.0,0.11724224942519952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2027486398055402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08891482824969316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09957335541531727,0.0,0.0,0.10991316214193693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19323878277499965,0.0,0.0,0.06092642563103101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08881548597863194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06067453554301041,0.1843108320514108,0.0,0.0,0.10096621255112437,0.549415732382188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06739906507651902,0.0,0.08778900797240839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07936786188565394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10247284882928176,0.0,0.09247505236848573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10268787634346198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12867490324783207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2050299730095136,0.0,0.0,0.0836858586003361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5534410409611964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Cxodael,2020/02/15,"I just crashed one week after leaving hospital So I went mixed in a matter of days in December, following which I sent myself to the hospital. Went from mixed to manic just after arriving. Spent 50 days there and despite being on 4 different medications, I didn't completely stabilised. I fell in love with a patient who had bipolar and was depressed. She already had a boyfriend but kissed me anyway. 2 days after that decided to stay with her boyfriend. A few days after that decided to break up with him, which she did. She was kinda lost and played with my feelings a lot until she decided (because I asked her) to tell me nothing would happen because she lives a bit far from me. Kind of a stupid reason as I could easily travel regularly but so be it. I decided with my pdoc to leave the hospital because my excitation could come from her being there.

Well, I don't think she was the reason. Following returning to real life, I almost instantly understood something wasn't right. I drank a lot just to delay what I was afraid of. One week after, I crashed again. Hard. I thought of everything I have done wrong in my life, finally realised that I couldn't expect anything more from my relationship with this girl. I decided to take some drugs including Ketamine which made all of my symptoms go away for a few days. Now I went to this party yesterday and finally crashed again and for real. Except I don't understand what's going on. I go from being completely normal of hyped to see my friends... To unstoppable crying... And finally to anger. I feel so angry about everything I don't even understand why. I think I'm going mixed again and it freaks me out. Also I decided to quit my meds yesterday after my break out. I feel like they aren't working and it makes me tired being on all different kind of meds and not being stabilised.

Now I don't know what I should do. I know I'm probably heading myself to the hospital but I don't know if being near this girl again (she's not leaving anytime soon) won't be counterproductive. I could go to another hospital but I like my pdoc at the other one because she's known me a bit now. Plus I don't really want to go the hospital. Right now I just want to disappear and it makes me angry af.",3.5033329309512315,5.584926704128442,4.879690970545632,80.51352245292131,74.38990825688073,8.626170931916949,27.98744567841623,9.276330184999452,2.6554871559633018,1777,72,331,44,38,591,187,436,0.111,0.8190000000000001,0.07,-0.9478,2,0,2,0,0,0,46.0,0,0,1,3,23,17,2,1,16,0,34,11,1,5,2,77,74,22,0,11,12,0,4,2,1,3,7,0,0,2,18,20,1,1,21,2,1,16,13,7,1,3,20,5,65,10,62,39,10,65,0,2,1,2,22,16,0,6,32,245,83,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07817309176683418,0.0,0.08614917112706708,0.06243036574181174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08186033695070713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06424270952089539,0.0,0.07298235695448264,0.0,0.0733467677827434,0.0,0.0,0.1903563270824815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17045847407670006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06724803853976521,0.16370408969664882,0.0,0.0,0.1869910825024912,0.0,0.0857532277667065,0.2517346464800367,0.0,0.06723922324143261,0.0,0.0,0.16312735786502802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07988991919135265,0.0,0.0,0.09053324576707236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051562694018697834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14032365273049552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11841946856167355,0.05577127161402109,0.0,0.2565566274669413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060314577338954914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2662045636282957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06903462696956207,0.0,0.06993293784820301,0.0,0.08011953902518892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625900919036449,0.12871118600953854,0.0,0.0,0.24798589328121134,0.0,0.0,0.11028243974159273,0.07627944729616573,0.0,0.06893482760136213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0852196446186952,0.13273999850319548,0.07045875701168926,0.07386913624631647,0.1042210147290282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17343027072643374,0.07864455907312963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07648934705524695,0.07490764880446618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15870120288710066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08416971839480993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08303414864504728,0.0,0.17771528339133472,0.05001189068885965,0.16053230647661942,0.0,0.08381502960621202,0.0,0.13333804005661534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0622095049208434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06009999666535745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08320932014379599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08114178252040656,0.058696869688078926,0.0,0.06823423288789537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10004470579529393,0.0,0.06197669032266592,0.0,0.08972684001478398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16254155764574313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09209219423663527,0.0,0.12524170634178328,0.0,0.07019184912719736,0.21710741772656905,0.07044356647534109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056833900632273435,0.0,0.0,0.0554567470854757,0.08535430197990326,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,naopll10,2020/02/15,"I am lost in life The title is pretty self explanatory. i'm studying a bachelor of health science because I thought I wanted to do it. Turns out, I know no science. I'm rubbish at chemistry and I just feel lost in life. I have no job and I'm considering disability. I'm hopeless. I feel I'm about to slide into depression after being in a mixed episode because my psych switched me to latuda, which has made me a mixed state, emotionless zombie. I'm seeing my psych next week but I feel as though the next med won't even work. I'm sick of being a guinea pig for meds too.",1.0703259452412013,3.362741000000004,3.0500000000000007,89.36260104302478,83.91525423728814,5.664667535853977,23.483702737940032,7.010146845296331,0.890203911342895,450,17,94,6,13,151,75,118,0.142,0.838,0.02,-0.8807,1,0,0,0,0,1,12.0,0,0,0,3,5,4,0,0,6,0,8,4,0,1,0,13,26,5,0,1,2,0,3,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,5,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,4,4,12,0,15,19,0,12,0,4,1,0,1,6,0,0,4,52,14,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21702901391367133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15332153693096034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11757529480763153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27002475708606194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18921850851493446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17664951393218867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09783077945606518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25147038205607863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3886424101817214,0.0,0.0,0.16843932685511556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3954625645012556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37863571654746186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18110227390926345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14185257423230507,0.0,0.18570541428134565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17489595710700415,0.14132170117500684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1936260170860528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10499613230960796,0.0,0.1427905467856881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12959490866563414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,winningwriters,2020/02/15,"Creating opportunities for poets and writers with bipolar to be heard Dear poets and writers of r/BipolarReddit,

I'm from a writers’ resources company called [Winning Writers](http://www.winningwriters.com/).      Part of our mission is to find and promote voices and themes      underrepresented in publishing,  including (but of course not limited     to) racial, cultural, national, religious, gender/sexual identity, body     positive, and \[dis\]abled. I’m  posting here specifically because our     long term goal is to change the  composition of our entry pool to     include more entries featuring diverse  characters and themes. These     voices need to be heard, and we are  actively reaching out to find  them.

We are currently looking for new talent in humor poetry, short fiction and essay:

[The Wergle Flomp Humor Poetry Contest](https://winningwriters.com/our-contests/wergle-flomp-humor-poetry-contest-free)  offers  a first prize of $1000, a second prize of $250, and ten     honorable  mentions of $100 each. Entrants are invited to submit humor     poetry on  any theme. The top twelve entries will be published online.     The  contest is international and the deadline is April 1. The  contest is     free to enter.

[The Tom Howard/John H. Reid Fiction & Essay Contest](https://winningwriters.com/our-contests/tom-howard-john-h-reid-fiction-essay-contest)  offers  a two first prizes of $3,000 each (up from $2,000 last year,)    as   well as ten honorable mentions of $200 each. Entrants are invited   to    submit short fiction and essays on any topic. The top twelve   entries    will be published online. The contest is international and  the  deadline    is April 30th. The fee for the contest is $20.

We      started implementing a policy of reaching out specifically to  groups     dedicated to connecting/celebrating underrepresented voices a  couple   of   years ago, and I'm glad to say that we have seen our  entry levels   from   these communities rise. We'll be continuing with  this effort in   order  to  keep trying to get as many people into the  national and    international  conversation on literature as we can.

Sometimes      when I post, there are some replies worried about a scam, so in   order    to head that off I just want to say that our competitions are   listed  by   The Write Life as some of the [top writing competitions out there](https://thewritelife.com/writing-contests/), and we’re in Writer’s Digest’s [top eight sites for writers](https://www.writersdigest.com/online-editor/top-websites-for-writers-best-publishing-marketing-resources). Besides contests, we also offer a lot of [free publishing and style resources](https://winningwriters.com/resources), including a [database of free poetry and prose competitions](https://winningwriters.com/the-best-free-literary-contests), at [https://winningwriters.com/](https://winningwriters.com/). And of course, stop by our subreddit for daily submissions opportunities worldwide, [r/literarycontests](https://www.reddit.com/r/literarycontests).

I      know this isn't a writing sub per se, but there are a lot of   talented    people here and I just wanted to reach out in case anyone   was looking    for an opportunity like this. Thanks for listening, and   have a good  day.",13.622537112010797,13.672633908906883,11.833451417004053,46.883807354925814,51.00404858299595,13.820377867746284,44.267543859649116,12.815532586354998,6.196411875843455,2597,117,324,69,24,812,244,494,0.012,0.8390000000000001,0.149,0.9931,1,0,0,0,0,0,192.0,13,0,1,19,11,23,0,0,28,0,28,5,2,0,0,57,45,30,0,3,5,0,0,1,0,3,3,8,0,0,8,36,1,3,3,1,4,2,2,0,1,7,4,11,18,26,71,33,10,50,0,0,3,0,31,27,0,4,18,201,26,6,0.13590633973627814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204727700569033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10868425078549347,0.0,0.14725446232318834,0.0,0.184841942895279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09502887272339984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08284724326619593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28525063759676794,0.0,0.0,0.15096130555586226,0.0,0.0,0.13877556811046002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14377088690342624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15037777993829662,0.0,0.08764834587893564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2484318647360344,0.2312037263037847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0710054531848927,0.0,0.0,0.11399178973817535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13947911354938453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12079979927671512,0.0,0.0,0.07469057006121922,0.1107818060625978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09599466698369773,0.06639697270076192,0.0,0.0,0.12027283394350498,0.2282541929843179,0.0,0.0,0.2310854199741656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13778769714908154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10077282885147236,0.0,0.13125918980330406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14717332195826446,0.0,0.18844068753818632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2603214109703013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2161563524786841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13441484511528784,0.0,0.09619520677142937,0.0,0.0,0.11362378550258333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251242980365647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09227148355449337,0.0,0.13276074595881274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603221607766026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221961211181662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13801948505291206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17503845385157074
bipolarreddit,indigo_floyd,2020/02/15,i need a friend asap. is there anyone willing to talk to me right now? i’m currently at work all night with nothing but time and i hate this place and everyone here and i’m trying desperately to keep it together..,1.3813953488372093,3.8679964418604666,3.4058604651162803,85.96181395348837,84.5813953488372,7.1609302325581385,22.55348837209302,8.238735603445708,1.5871060465116282,169,6,34,4,5,57,35,43,0.18600000000000005,0.768,0.046,-0.81,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,3,2,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,8,7,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,5,6,1,7,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,4,21,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2220851555919424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3034966057934637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24539006679211064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3135809805410555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28231253774768417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2355089430562986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2980619905256551,0.0,0.30476202858999296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3318421102179057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2712431388811993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25528847236268576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18520499707737773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21564105933935854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312289215562861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lemonmerorangutanpie,2020/02/15,"Signs of bipolar 2? I’ve been told by a couple therapists that I could have bipolar 2 disorder. I have never seen a psychiatrist or been to a doctor about it because I simply do not believe it. I have asked friends some said yeah they could see it some said no but someone told me “if you were bipolar you wouldn’t know” and that made me think there’s no friggin way I am. My mood has a pattern of the highs and low type and I will concentrate all my attention on one thing for a couple weeks, spend my money work hard on it and then BOOM I stop and never do it again. I have gone through a week with little sleep but then again that could just be not taking care of myself. I have had depressions that have led me into a suicidal mind set resulting in self harm and some plans to act on it but I never have. I have researched about it and related to the symptoms but I feel that everyone will relate to symptoms of mental illness (some not all). I’m not trying to make it seem like I have any symptoms but this is just some of the things my therapists have pointed out to me. My MAIN question is, should I go and get a diagnosis? Are there any tell tale signs that should lead me to go the doctor? It is very intimidating. Thank you!",1.7023809523809526,3.8500442857142883,2.997549206349205,91.52522857142858,80.34920634920636,6.095492063492062,21.984761904761907,7.24861992348623,0.6535902857142859,968,30,208,13,25,313,135,252,0.156,0.8029999999999999,0.040999999999999995,-0.985,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,3,1,3,8,8,0,0,12,1,31,10,1,5,5,55,52,17,1,7,13,0,2,1,1,5,9,3,0,1,18,11,0,1,6,0,2,6,10,3,0,1,11,7,29,4,24,32,8,28,0,2,2,0,13,10,0,9,11,155,47,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538016855154101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10571806161903942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06893481779654885,0.0,0.0,0.1274066865045128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11529644217722901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2708645706597046,0.2502500856277913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973988871075712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296037998135785,0.2314920647930984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10805639023043473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05717855290288289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08736824171933398,0.0,0.059081603501696174,0.0,0.12853622727146485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10130084778226232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11947921383226688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0621478836869321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05524701891000668,0.11333964770201185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070025993036067,0.07548429590999581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11396184457404625,0.0,0.11418237314533745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2616515290451669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07662849052818779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10690071643132742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12667970506042606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2151371261622691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09011312526688292,0.10294721888586923,0.1179710368348199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1131654397329028,0.0,0.09581551303234233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945430969357392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12369529231290258,0.0,0.0,0.3526120142867279,0.08502492308379632,0.0,0.0988402010840696,0.10411234396004436,0.0,0.26259795041154343,0.15025566656689812,0.0724595149655271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21611278046086946,0.0,0.07677645816419831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09330595497845394,0.0,0.08976063458552531,0.18141796155709175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08232633282644355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,buttsbuttscandy,2020/02/15,"Dealing with grief I lost a friend, well a few friends, to suicide the last couple years or less. It’s been really hard to talk about and even when I have it feels like I’m not really able to be as honest as I want to be. There is never a right person or way to talk about it and just like with every other emotion I have it’s incredibly hard to explain it to the people that care about me. Being bipolar makes me second guess everything I say and do and I just don’t know if I’m feeling my feelings right! Does that make sense? The more I think about it the more I confuse myself and then I feel like a weirdo. I just don’t know how to appropriately tell the people that care about me that I’m having a horrid time dealing with all the loss. I feel like even when I open up to my partner I say stuff wrong and he gives me this look like I’m crazy even though he really is great and supportive, I just wish there was an easier way than using my words. Like I could tap people and they could read my mind haha",1.3514018691588774,3.1949735327102817,2.864308411214953,93.5847803738318,80.02803738317758,5.775327102803737,17.709345794392522,6.742157984588678,-0.20395065420560726,792,15,180,8,20,259,112,214,0.125,0.6579999999999999,0.21600000000000005,0.9617,0,0,0,0,0,1,11.0,0,0,1,2,19,20,0,1,12,1,15,1,0,4,2,43,40,18,2,5,8,0,7,6,3,0,1,2,0,2,13,12,0,0,9,1,0,0,4,5,1,1,3,10,25,15,21,32,5,13,0,3,1,0,16,4,0,5,13,120,38,1,0.10672685690799398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21763028717969013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17042542159529375,0.1180912371914337,0.0,0.0,0.22006140622316245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933973916997824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12005334897927833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21147624726830952,0.0,0.08992198003657878,0.0,0.09591921720144472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2698215281796256,0.2287370637003157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16491380979940148,0.0,0.0,0.10238212620272333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11766673651996686,0.1175716653763962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912126009969276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11730857881639167,0.08699663302385252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3128481078208278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08962367995694089,0.0,0.11650497179844455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14248201146742373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10776370107015368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08231433154947054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22197289324646027,0.0931897748052837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10675573871119992,0.0,0.20511587229786188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822883053075761,0.0,0.16974696063121414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12217671698285293,0.11674185898751592,0.12111237244871645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17156600968231725,0.09328397711422497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0683862604650396,0.10485859503025396,0.0,0.06223328853769915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09217773725853087,0.0,0.0,0.06295026540184805,0.16942962257457395,0.0,0.0,0.0959602617405284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227306183131939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11668906376620848,0.0,0.06872859667129423
bipolarreddit,jruss57,2020/02/15,"Prescription Supplement •L-Methylfolate• any opinions, experiences?",19.43523809523809,21.07767728571429,13.977142857142866,-0.9904761904761584,133.28571428571428,23.790476190476195,73.76190476190476,9.725611199111238,18.902276190476197,59,5,2,4,3,17,7,7,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5708116042322153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8210810632780692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,parduscat,2020/02/15,"Is there any way to keep hypomania going indefinitely? So I've been newly diagnosed as bipolar after being being informally diagnosed as having dysthymia and then major depressive disorder.  However, I experience hypomania instead of mania, which means I can control and direct my mania into productive tasks.  It's so much better than depression and allows me to be hyper focused.  Is there a way to keep the hypomania ongoing forever?",8.83931506849315,10.847011835616438,10.95605479452055,42.51736986301373,60.78082191780822,14.059178082191785,41.9972602739726,13.023866798666859,7.348585753424658,356,20,39,15,5,129,56,73,0.12,0.8059999999999999,0.07400000000000001,-0.5546,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,5,3,0,0,2,0,8,3,0,2,0,11,12,8,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,4,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,4,1,9,8,2,6,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,35,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15363799012252485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19981391925483255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533961480907471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38918089109962606,0.4586219485638512,0.0,0.0,0.25893171780104035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22099978934273495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12839942260542572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4016282901461097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2461005479650364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1660822137529228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3586603994261364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mrzeppelli,2020/02/16,"Risperdone and Fluoxetine combination I've been diagnosed with bipolar 1 and I'm noticing my relationships are going down the drain. I'm not sure if I'm in a manic episode again but I've experienced one the beginning of this year that I had to be put in a mental facility for. 

I've been seeing a therapist every other week and have met with them twice so far. I'm prescribed Risperdone and Fluoxetine together and I'm skeptical of their effectiveness treating my bipolar. Furthermore at the beginning of taking these medications I was very high spirits but now I'm feeling low and sleeping way more. I feel depressed and like I'm losing myself. I also take CBD which makes me less anxious but thats about it, it has helped with restoring some joy. I've informed my therapist that I've been self treating myself but they are against it. 

Do any of you diagnosed with Bipolar take Risperdone and Fluoxetine together  or CBD and what are your experiences with these drugs?",5.591744277821629,7.574115171270717,6.337225730071032,72.65504143646409,68.55801104972376,9.591318074191005,34.475532754538285,9.957137785484203,3.8166018942383584,790,39,133,20,14,259,108,181,0.096,0.831,0.07200000000000001,-0.5282,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,3,2,5,9,1,0,6,0,12,8,1,2,1,28,30,17,0,1,7,0,2,1,0,0,7,0,0,1,12,14,0,0,4,0,0,2,1,4,0,2,6,4,15,5,17,23,3,16,1,3,1,0,10,7,0,3,7,87,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305716780590703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11103321081529154,0.0,0.0,0.18445529210713815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14062929322456846,0.3314432026792323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18934820707007136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13756698759115624,0.0,0.0,0.15971516016746795,0.0,0.0,0.16511440163490246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09279345653598073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10944039391005654,0.17250995257986546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07976835724516883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826639674890785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10898793095708507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16448329152614408,0.16454370407041802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18589069407773498,0.0,0.0,0.11063997530015833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16413737637869014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17529721205724544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13010975271763306,0.0,0.1703323726145597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16339381567583158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15388560324580955,0.0,0.3682894700801394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3791518082522834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347197169488335,0.0,0.12960080937279975,0.13097007814801073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10514432624361103
bipolarreddit,Bobbery99,2020/02/16,"Loss of taste Hey guys I have a quick question.

I hit a manic phase back in April 2019 and it lasted for like a month or so and then I felt the depression come on super hard and I'm still in a super depressed mood since may or june 2019. Anyway, everytime I hit this super depressed phase I lose my sense of taste. I know it's not meds and the only thing I can taste is hot sauce and cheese.

I was just wondering if anyone else had this side effect of their bipolar or just in general at all. Thanks in advance!",1.52747663551402,3.4147810467289723,2.8091682242990683,93.98010747663551,79.65420560747663,5.775327102803737,19.111214953271027,6.742157984588678,0.008432523364485967,400,9,89,4,10,129,73,107,0.14400000000000002,0.706,0.15,0.4003,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,7,7,11,0,0,6,0,6,4,0,1,1,21,14,11,0,1,7,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,5,6,3,0,5,0,0,2,1,5,0,0,3,6,10,5,10,8,1,17,0,5,0,0,4,7,0,7,9,56,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14611839666545934,0.214116971380786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16068691580162267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18001126294323333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5399629977841678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17456966814058245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006463243191317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2069155811978092,0.0,0.0,0.18719826981930016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11484579402663105,0.17034043883364636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10209338400461357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23378671970580414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321212837129183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16679981676006458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589329657261051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340969708319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17286417101736695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16688566939470406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19239375664499425,0.0,0.0,0.1388320109241678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22662170905750284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lesbiab,2020/02/16,"Just started on lithium and I already feel better... miracles do happen I guess I know it's still a ""sub-therapeutic"" dose but this is the first medication I've ever been on that hasn't just immediately made me feel like garbage. My sleep quality has already improved (going on 4 nights with no benadryl!!!) and I actually sat down and finished TWO major assignments this weekend. Something's starting to change and I love it!!!!!",2.350769230769231,5.277426512820514,3.888589743589743,78.76057692307695,91.56410256410255,6.18974358974359,29.57692307692308,7.492282038375204,2.593723076923077,340,18,56,7,12,112,61,78,0.035,0.7829999999999999,0.18100000000000002,0.9269,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,2,4,3,0,0,2,0,5,4,1,1,1,14,16,5,0,0,3,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,3,1,0,1,2,0,0,2,3,2,7,3,6,13,1,13,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,1,9,37,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.2059385040934639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4657619953693252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866422079075984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2232457320120073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19089211441901413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21341001600780726,0.1507625576160051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17950520524111108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199353469393392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23247747464147595,0.0,0.18661645368296487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11597863341353312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10310043356635654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19046620430394426,0.1996852427259344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.212594307522786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19804088440151352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21118616228316345,0.0,0.0,0.16246409572100814,0.0,0.0,0.29874155768628524,0.0,0.16853183032730207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20614931543090428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,exitstageleft25,2020/02/16,"Mania advice My teenage daughter has always rejected any and all treatment for bpd. 
For the most part, she’s been able to live through the most severe episodes without too many consequences. I feel terrible because I should have done more to insist on treatment. 
But I’m not here to martyr on missed opportunities. 
She’s now in her second semester of college and in the middle of the most extreme mania I’ve ever witnessed. My husband (her father) is arriving at her dorm as I type this. 
What is the best way to communicate with her? How can we talk to her so she feels unconditional love as opposed to confrontation? What is the best way to convince her or help her see that immediate professional help is a better choice than waiting two weeks for an appointment with a doctor in her area? I’m most fearful of when this mania ends and what she will do in the depression? I’m scared to leave her alone. 
I believe that substance abuse probably escalated the mania but that is totally irrelevant to me. I’m not looking to confront that (although I’d like her to be honest to whoever she is comfortable with) so that treatment and therapy is more effective. 
I guess I’m looking for any and all advice as quickly as I can get it. Yes, I am also talking to professionals and reading professional articles and recommendations but I would be so grateful to hear from someone who has been in a mania or comforted someone through a manic episode. I just want to love her and help her but I’ve never felt so powerless and confused. All maternal instinct has left my body.",5.3120030816640975,7.006968355932205,6.159545454545459,74.78477272727277,68.83050847457628,9.160246533127893,34.08705701078583,9.573946990214177,3.4690677966101697,1255,61,218,28,22,413,160,295,0.091,0.728,0.18100000000000002,0.9866,1,2,0,0,1,0,23.0,1,0,0,5,13,20,2,3,13,1,23,4,1,2,6,45,42,27,0,3,10,3,3,1,0,3,1,1,1,0,12,13,0,2,4,1,0,0,4,9,0,2,4,7,31,11,42,33,13,20,0,3,3,2,30,11,0,8,8,168,43,8,0.1245039432574765,0.14751681372464576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2433276247934341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12894853679006746,0.0,0.0995657584409682,0.10359725459316432,0.0,0.0,0.16933390167443682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07589644820593626,0.0,0.0,0.1402733087932209,0.2613184143316814,0.11011362010560788,0.0,0.1382958135541968,0.15680835806563811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10723506389024932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274350616078239,0.0,0.12741076079820915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11027353899791728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11262094466165935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14010155032129706,0.12590586927180644,0.0,0.11954331035275607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06504817164127817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13715513019678774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14032499272215196,0.0,0.2503571062049966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13183169895942948,0.1352738986428696,0.0,0.0,0.06082633773851251,0.0,0.10993926291433304,0.0,0.20910391043380228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22473933949672045,0.0,0.0,0.12622745679647135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09602511646480208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13482563772714756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13423630872835507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245376357927174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12465016708924573,0.0,0.099213523196335,0.0,0.0,0.14065401724246104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2109835741829856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20014310692962,0.0,0.0,0.1423811097411717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1216222614320327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07343565151919819,0.19765086995249465,0.0998695533190608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12001735836663127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08844402909746757,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Nyeaheh123,2020/02/16,"Are manic episodes ""fun""? I'm not trying to come off as ignorant, I'm just genuinely curious. Obviously I know how debilitating mania can be to ones life, however, I'm curious to know if during your manic episode you feel happy/euphoric.",6.1349242424242405,7.438514159090907,8.366363636363637,61.20287878787883,66.5,12.23030303030303,37.39393939393939,11.855464076750405,5.373857575757575,189,10,30,7,3,68,34,44,0.049,0.843,0.10800000000000001,0.3612,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,2,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,1,10,10,3,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,1,3,1,5,9,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,16,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4524449932235082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26557550631128984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5773128153266005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.370990283025518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35591404708088176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35660130791306704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,TalkingDrums1198,2020/02/16,A wasted opportunity How would you describe yourself?,9.06375,13.574947875000005,9.655,40.09,70.25,8.200000000000001,45.5,8.841846274778883,6.110100000000001,45,3,4,1,1,15,8,8,0.29100000000000004,0.455,0.255,-0.1027,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jesscourtsmith,2020/02/16,Looking for reading material for significant other My bf asked for some reading material on BP. I’m type  1. Any recommendations are welcome,4.138749999999998,7.442268708333334,7.400000000000002,52.69500000000002,91.08333333333334,9.066666666666668,39.333333333333336,8.841846274778883,5.632783333333335,115,8,15,4,4,42,20,24,0.0,0.8140000000000001,0.18600000000000005,0.5859,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,4,4,1,1,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,1,0,8,2,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2766159118953419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3802727898665131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3415823310841485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8137553401757598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,justcallmemags,2020/02/16,Vraylar fatigue Will a multivitamin work to counteract this?,9.760000000000002,14.230876111111117,10.208888888888893,37.900000000000034,65.66666666666667,12.488888888888884,53.444444444444436,11.20814326018867,8.877577777777779,51,4,5,2,1,17,9,9,0.222,0.778,0.0,-0.25,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Cautious_Amoeba,2020/02/16,Lithium Instant Release V Extended Release I’ve been prescribed lithium IR for the last three years as my primary mood stabilizer. I don’t expect anything life-altering with ER but I’m thinking about bringing it up with my prescriber and wonder if any of you have experience with it! Thanks,5.109433962264152,7.922742962264158,5.687396226415096,73.16656603773588,72.20754716981132,8.013584905660379,38.90188679245283,8.841846274778883,4.172414339622642,239,15,36,5,5,77,45,53,0.0,0.917,0.083,0.63,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,9,8,4,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,1,0,4,1,8,7,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,2,22,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2751399326712749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33294897623526754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3957736436908211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3298006738495918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28577892871056404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3724986915640153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2592495134523195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4387683445450161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26054729599379944
bipolarreddit,melind64,2020/02/16,"Why are such subs ALLOWED? Have you ever heard of the antipsychiatry movement?

It's   basically a scientology cult that denies the existence of mental   illness and anything that has to do with psychology and psychiatry.   Things like these could greatly affect us. Some people need help out   there and they just oppose it. It's sick.

This subreddit: [r/antipsychiatry](https://www.reddit.com/r/antipsychiatry/) describes it.

Are they just schizophrenics who are unmedicated or what?? Because  the most common symptom of schizophrenia is usually DENIAL.

I  suffer from schizophrenia and I find it offensive for me and everybody  else affected with mental illness. Because they say it's all a myth.

Imagine  if a person with schizophrenia or any delusional disorder actually  believes them and stops or won't take treatment at all, it can harm him  and the people around him. This is very serious. Or what if someone is  suicidal and needs help? This can cause a lot of damage people.

I am trying to spread this on many mental health communities because maybe something can be achieved.

Have you ever heard about cases where people died because they were  following  their conspiracy cure instead of having a real medical care?  Whether it was a cancer cure or whatever. Similar things can happen  here! Your Bipolar is considered a joke to them.

Check the most upvoted posts of [r/antipsychiatry](https://www.reddit.com/r/antipsychiatry/) and you'll see what I mean.

THIS IS NOT ONLY OFFENSIVE BUT ALSO DAMAGING.",6.963803763440863,10.332111536290329,6.7109677419354865,65.3531182795699,68.71774193548387,9.133333333333336,32.913978494623656,9.621722640351123,3.97184623655914,1223,56,169,31,24,384,155,248,0.154,0.802,0.044000000000000004,-0.9741,1,0,1,0,0,0,51.0,1,4,7,1,12,11,2,0,12,0,24,9,0,4,4,47,34,19,2,5,12,0,0,1,0,2,9,3,0,1,22,14,0,2,3,1,1,2,2,7,0,0,4,4,19,4,19,26,6,13,0,3,1,0,21,5,0,11,6,130,41,1,0.0,0.0,0.12023250506702428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0985287948901898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08378515629913133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10138907043652144,0.10968057571132364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30042398894034433,0.0,0.0,0.13881238175722693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256180047205659,0.12656778677700714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09837096523603699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278696756327297,0.0,0.14120618493812284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10292384941515396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22289602631786365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11260919621682315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13583643026133166,0.0,0.0,0.10895176602256043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13096354741769906,0.0,0.0,0.1651664478017556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0601928398758957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10474639969541448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12491281535894334,0.12377824478827595,0.13420881684346772,0.0,0.12411834430366313,0.3724917940050959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18271323237085213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09370466705776304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3416655811164591,0.10757982009859764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11799848976113615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402368262467961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09797935194685313,0.0,0.0,0.09818022812672624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043931047750696,0.09485096193143412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10300677950595233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13476873631355465,0.0,0.0,0.12805951001538238,0.09263652015287864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.163706847112236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08364963655403568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1482031540161112,0.0,0.1356953814601004,0.1016588861859539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11117538124454547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mergirla,2020/02/16,"worst case scenario re: coronavirus & meds horrible bouts of insomnia lately, so I may have to repost this during normal human hours ha! 

If you've been suckered in to all the rumors and officials, medicines could possibly be delayed. look it up yourself and believe what you want to believe. in the off chance that this could really happen, could we provide ""in a pinch"" alternatives? obviously use at your own risk, but if this really happens we of all people need to have options. 

Is there any hardcore alternatives for insomnia?",6.72981762917933,8.767975446808519,6.845015197568389,69.90500000000003,65.80851063829788,10.052279635258358,34.705167173252285,10.290406445055957,4.133023100303952,428,20,65,11,7,137,73,94,0.107,0.8490000000000001,0.044000000000000004,-0.7271,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,2,2,0,0,2,4,1,1,3,1,9,2,0,1,3,20,15,6,0,8,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,6,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,5,1,13,9,4,9,0,0,1,0,6,6,0,4,3,47,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2134913321082679,0.0,0.13399306206281034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4439902461356505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4719580686700058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3484813155779741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1940434136069774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2222682182821344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654628693443881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21886555905646848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461016877342634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19305607533205868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13660181420386786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22213151093266376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2524560532423806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1701781594306031,0.0,0.0,0.11621852109157765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,JashBhanushali,2020/02/16,I ain't bipolar but I am just going through a phase in life wherein I tend to contradict my own thoughts and do what I wouldn't logically do. Call it a rebellious phase but to have it with your own mind is kinda whacky. I do not exactly know if it relates to bipolar behaviour or it is just a wrong notion that i am relating to but if this is something you guys face all the time and the issue revolves around how do you deal with it.,2.823076923076921,4.085766692307693,4.2624175824175845,87.65758241758243,74.38461538461539,7.837362637362638,28.384615384615394,8.418075326091056,1.8747538461538449,343,14,75,6,7,114,59,91,0.114,0.8859999999999999,0.0,-0.872,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,3,0,0,4,1,0,0,5,0,12,4,1,1,2,23,16,9,0,3,9,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,8,5,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,0,10,0,9,14,3,4,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,4,1,59,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2833632016752128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3250298881771487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3281634200060829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18090279101196494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31517674000934154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3322327247751338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17493473790402558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2248316205809296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32140215135981065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2450504301290792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2527024203696883,0.18560900028100555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3480217899179847,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Surviving_Life2020,2020/02/16,"Stigma of Bipolar? Hi all. I was just recently diagnosed and was wondering if anyone here has been mistreated due to any stigma towards Bipolar. Everything is still so new to me. I’ve only told a few people, and would like to share my diagnosis with some of my other family members. However, I’m a bit scared, because I’m afraid that I’ll be treated differently. What are your experiences with how people treat you once they find out you’re Bipolar? Has it affected work prospects too?",4.391456043956044,6.732864120879121,5.703392857142859,74.43223214285716,72.62637362637362,9.385164835164835,31.15521978021977,9.827888789773867,3.5597571428571433,389,18,66,11,8,130,72,91,0.049,0.84,0.111,0.6848,2,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,2,1,1,6,6,0,2,2,0,9,4,0,2,1,14,13,5,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,0,7,4,9,7,4,6,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,3,5,43,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15738074548640968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1618216579817587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14107794694751466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2526622774364312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23489718950321875,0.0,0.2417957216478422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20799490238973192,0.22638353685414345,0.2181721748151028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115233775533669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130653021495977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2235171175937012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24646603810377815,0.0,0.1760134015201385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32088967926000755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2285097995269255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2317024060453991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184820777746944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22114185799780853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25097661575295505,0.16848423461639878,0.0,0.0,0.16440165962682088,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ApprehensiveBaker6,2020/02/16,"Just a messy rant of my last few months Rant/I just need to express to people who understand.

FYI i tried to reorganize the message but im struggling to focus dont think ive eaten enough and i just wrote along with my thoughts so its a bit chaotic

After a rough couple of months of extreme highs and weekly med changes i finally reached a point where i have returned to work. Prior to this i started rapidly cycle to extremes and was seeing a doctor on a weekly basis as i live rurally  we only have the psychiatrist visit once a month and the adult one who i had just begun seeing was reposted else where, and the new replacement skipped  his first day due to it being too hot, i finally saw him but  i only was able to express very basic information something about him made me dig my feet in and not want to share i tried a second appoitment but same thing happened along with him expressing his doubts as to whether i did have bipolar which hurt as since a had been diagnosed a medicated i had a large period of several months for the first time 7+ years where i didnt feel chained to the ground tho signs of mania which i had previously thought were how i should feel. since thne i am now trying to find a psychiatrist in the city while im doing that i was referred to the mental helath nurse who recomended i use an app to log my daily moods, its helped it shows that my highs and lows last longer than i think they do which helps in appointments. though i still have weeks where i feel flat and weighed down im at least not suicidal though my highs fluctuate from mild reckless driving and hypersexuality im mainly able to keep them under control though they do reach the point where i should definitely not drive as im a severe danger to others and myself resort to sexting and spend mininum of 3 hours though often more and all im left feeling with is disgust self hatred and a vow ill never do it again. despite the relative stability of moods im still experiencing visual hallucinations which only ever occur with my mood changing to either extreme. i usually have some indicators of my mood signifcitally changing of sounds especially people talking turning into a painfull buzz which reverberates in my head, or just being told i sound like im on a high accelerated speech, chatty, fidgety these are often pointed out by others from there i take 25mg immediate release  qutiapeine which will stabalise me for a few hours. 

sorry about the chaos of the message. Thankyou for getting through it if you did",5.6643308865048,6.8657748571428625,6.1935441370224,76.72691699604745,67.50931677018633,8.753096179183137,30.785431959345,9.0124134603493,2.584249689440993,2028,78,367,35,33,658,271,483,0.127,0.8290000000000001,0.044000000000000004,-0.9916,0,0,1,1,0,0,16.0,1,1,3,4,28,12,2,2,30,0,32,9,2,4,3,68,57,31,1,5,15,0,6,1,0,3,5,3,0,2,22,22,2,2,12,1,1,3,6,6,0,4,20,13,48,2,61,32,11,63,0,2,3,0,28,26,0,6,35,256,70,2,0.13062304230923674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07130326556516854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20727278814878303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0732524245262706,0.0,0.07226595591259923,0.0,0.04212052805739245,0.0,0.0,0.06628981917521777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06684910938786423,0.0,0.0,0.07654461637838457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05455939533333511,0.0,0.0,0.06748426022281159,0.0,0.0,0.059078010039504324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13209386994965566,0.0,0.0,0.14309115804590236,0.05969354711735225,0.1111078930594247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03412257416966165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05775476246241808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06702846307894775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08755387184432159,0.2760208318047661,0.0,0.0,0.12863738466643992,0.0,0.06991733420102893,0.0,0.5643812028822995,0.0,0.0,0.05805188088535373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10647521350724487,0.0,0.0,0.07096115883342466,0.0,0.0,0.03190791022378533,0.0,0.05767126974206445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06179934048301655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07254637657428324,0.06579448644276524,0.0658186518901388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20852413230943445,0.0,0.0,0.0484276653768699,0.050372271442005165,0.06307827411297871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06955463849220686,0.04425677700982228,0.14901706466383793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09055757056236743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18522149412108702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10408965289816301,0.0,0.06813416047776122,0.14756685743865244,0.0,0.10805273041947487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05027999981705205,0.0,0.07311090079960228,0.04622783082979344,0.0,0.10431573032081888,0.0,0.0,0.0682777825623634,0.0,0.0714402036543206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04910613578917715,0.05249492674763121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04339007256881355,0.08369797118447955,0.2566729517188296,0.10370010485812063,0.03808367320659818,0.0,0.0,0.06240795732698853,0.0,0.1330267071094255,0.07104018034080586,0.0,0.06799159685646143,0.0,0.05640818451287559,0.07193141340960461,0.0538888449283879,0.038522427340158025,0.0,0.15716688822002692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04754756525702492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04205847830124053
bipolarreddit,WARHULK6661,2020/02/17,Bipolar is a bummer it's hard sometimes  to keep in control sometimes I feel like I have yin and yang good and evil half the time I'm good and stuff I'm fine for a while but then all a sudden I start struggling with the evil side the demons they want out sometimes they slip out and I end up hurting people around me I know I'm hurting them but it's like I'm looking through the glass on the other side and I'm trying to get myself to stop but it's hard and then the same old routine it just  gets harder as life goes on never any easier I'm afraid that I might do  more harm than good  and I won't be able to come back from it ☯️,-0.9114184397163108,1.1475286737588668,0.9387588652482286,102.28416666666668,92.04964539007094,3.4170212765957446,15.634751773049645,4.475607210031448,-1.2455503546099291,497,11,122,1,18,161,87,141,0.23,0.6679999999999999,0.102,-0.9705,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,3,1,3,13,2,2,9,0,6,2,0,1,2,26,21,14,0,1,4,0,3,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,8,12,0,3,2,0,0,1,2,7,0,1,0,4,12,6,17,18,3,21,1,2,1,0,3,9,0,1,13,72,20,0,0.15481551906888205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052798618171988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13781863476739353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11904357797228547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13335986137494826,0.0,0.0,0.17363876886653645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371205982144665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07827937812709802,0.11060023775641273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16176943787716505,0.0,0.0,0.3895557366672798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2773685924375152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33146643026792755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13760714669184254,0.0,0.0,0.08508256050465701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10935077955718496,0.15127008516626173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13000604473303756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642348004384734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11940327237993295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16245284448935995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10732958783060323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.45934952094509,0.0,0.10957922122805834,0.0,0.0,0.1294327061216422,0.0,0.16184679458376208,0.1772267300454486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09027417416249003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10510957509020108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09131420427861422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Amethystpony,2020/02/17,"Calling off of work I am always so nervous when I have to call in to work to take a day off because I am unwell mentally. Today will be the first time I've called off due to mental health reasons since I started my job in September. I never know what to say or how much information to give. The manager that originally hired me that knew about my bipolar no longer works for the company, and I have never even met my supervisors due to working 3rd shift which is unsupervised. It is stressing me out and making this day so much worse than it already is. I'm almost positive that I'm going to get written up for calling in and I'm willing to accept that, I just wish it were easier to explain to people that don't suffer from mental health issues.",6.596599999999999,5.905417693333337,7.534500000000001,74.43975000000002,65.4,10.166666666666668,33.416666666666664,9.516144504307137,2.9888666666666666,594,22,113,10,8,201,97,150,0.071,0.836,0.09300000000000001,0.5326,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,5,7,4,0,2,4,0,12,3,0,4,2,19,27,8,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,11,4,0,0,6,0,0,1,4,3,0,1,4,1,12,1,25,20,2,21,0,1,0,0,9,8,0,2,12,80,23,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12651931912541622,0.0,0.13942821280147633,0.0,0.10513169745972956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07702059733522143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5160619342303974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16296807688214793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08345169408133304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10747158507634068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06601164025200579,0.12120456059198915,0.07180650736527827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26860413342700784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318745358493349,0.12538094180758408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06943758288902031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08433830314276326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3819873449911173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18576070613244375,0.0,0.1948948074417213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08759382777418848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12990683657257796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10047703900187574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10451641094297992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08942979867796902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447312620883668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09499800788075922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07367456284772547,0.0,0.11976317600612905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452940197235142,0.0,0.0,0.36793153494218,0.0,0.1287594551187028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,GelflingGirl,2020/02/17,Question for ladies on lamictal. I plan on going on lamictal but I have heard tell that it messes up your menstrual cycle.  Is this true? I am on lithium right now but I need something more.,0.6206306306306288,3.0795775945945927,2.4420270270270272,88.53799549549551,97.37837837837836,5.709909909909912,22.382882882882885,7.1686216300943375,1.3536342342342342,149,6,28,3,6,49,29,37,0.0,0.88,0.12,0.657,0,0,1,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,5,6,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,5,1,6,5,1,8,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,1,1,21,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27686423040908137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3612229356477035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5457306441075311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41603194184240616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37503953570630394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4257992752319548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,masterofnone99,2020/02/17,"Call for help! Hey , am 29 y o immigrant, who came to US to persue higher education, after finishing my masters degree I joined a top tech company 

 I had a car accident after which  I have been diagnosed with bipolar about 2 years now! Since then I have had worst depression and manic episodes , feels like am just alive physically and something inside me died ! I was very athletic before all this happened and now am just not interested in a damn thing! 

I got into wedlock without the knowledge of this disease and it's taking a toll on our marriage as well! And worst of all I really love her and can't see what she has been going through!! 
 
I have tried working all this while but am unable to take the pressure of it in few circumstances when am ill 

Can someone tell me if there's any job consultant with whom I can discuss this and still find a decent enough job! Please help 🙏🏼

Sarvey janah sukhino bavanthu : may all beings be hail and healthy!",4.9889533417402285,6.291508366120219,5.5688524590163935,80.20921815889031,69.1639344262295,8.690878520386716,30.47036569987389,9.057496981413335,2.583579571248424,753,30,140,14,13,243,133,183,0.106,0.759,0.135,0.5369,2,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,2,0,0,3,9,9,1,1,7,0,20,4,0,0,4,26,29,14,1,1,6,0,1,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,11,12,0,0,3,0,0,3,3,5,1,0,7,2,16,4,19,19,8,18,0,1,1,1,15,5,1,2,11,102,27,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12172609386371333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1523157605846835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18277894686894086,0.20472823933559575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15417238159057134,0.1816811659483489,0.1857736719237177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18495478239327867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905077454037427,0.1278775892189361,0.0,0.0,0.16360269759081947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10172978802736367,0.0,0.14316259985055466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1582890512268105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2399597663394352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3552596303806405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08745032652917199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16155442982140045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19648817578789202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11467194181680634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14263977287154112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480705958378286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15166606391717538,0.13780289498903706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14294957919062426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2691713483729333,0.0,0.15645383279576958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11891960293402955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12152920589524065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21531488193751272,0.0,0.0,0.14769369263658305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609424384533613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725495495627257,0.0,0.13031408444588075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152700892965984
bipolarreddit,Mack7793,2020/02/17,Showering I haven’t showered in a week. I’m disgusted with myself. I keep getting overwhelmed when I start to plan getting in.,2.587500000000002,5.490152750000004,3.7550000000000026,82.39000000000001,84.0,6.533333333333335,33.0,7.793537801064563,3.0013500000000013,102,6,17,2,3,33,19,24,0.165,0.777,0.057999999999999996,-0.4939,2,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,1,2,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,6,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,4,6,0,5,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,11,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6006546739855717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5109393771710737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4068708667474643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4610976179373396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,danicaliforinia1932,2020/02/17,"I think I have bipolar? So I have been diagnosed with adhd, depression, and anxiety. I've been saying for the past year that I feel misdiagnosed. I feel like I have bipolar tendencies. I have talked to my dr about it and they always brush it off and different ""big stressful"" events in my life as to why I am feeling worse. I gave a family friend who has been working with people who have mental disorders all her life and is now a psych nurse. She made a quick comment to me the other day that I have bipolar tendencies as well. She hasnt seen me in probably about 10 plus years she said this after spending one day with me. I was also venting to my best friend (over 15 years) who happens to be bipolar and I mention my thoughts and this comment. Her reply was that she could definitely see it and looking back growing up I had signs. How can I get drs to actually take it serious and look into trying to get rediagnosed properly? I have come to the point where everything feels so out of whack it feels like I need to go to a new hospital and tell them I need to be inpatiented..",3.536366621067032,5.133007353488374,4.8195622435020535,83.03451436388511,73.13953488372094,8.407660738714089,27.99589603283173,9.007467420416297,2.249541723666211,851,33,171,18,17,282,126,215,0.061,0.828,0.111,0.8708,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,2,2,11,9,0,1,7,0,21,9,0,2,1,30,43,16,0,3,0,0,5,2,2,0,9,2,0,0,14,16,0,0,7,0,1,3,1,3,1,1,11,12,32,6,29,29,2,25,0,1,4,0,21,10,0,0,14,124,46,2,0.0,0.0,0.1297724628400954,0.0,0.15982001643116975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10634665198432593,0.11065271186863787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10173181748044988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10225590588085434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13955770990537825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11455328935270476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061762991923152,0.0,0.0,0.17152638158376338,0.0,0.11453827298282168,0.13497519313473422,0.0,0.13893918568200975,0.15241031846969327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11951676467678456,0.0,0.12536476700539656,0.0,0.33620161870638154,0.19000651181792974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20548504848984744,0.0,0.1389565123606854,0.0,0.07557744202529305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11759664326750625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18785999568999484,0.1299377913099289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22334486413468815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258319606400851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13401583171101086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19721078043763796,0.0,0.12843604548838386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09011288760091876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12694755353060252,0.09219383706689464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257121493302853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14337842880450505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264975176661862,0.1057536129895286,0.0,0.0,0.10597042787310368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15233185641640412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999868493339105,0.10688689401349498,0.11623321651448446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08521029296934597,0.0,0.10557384116797937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902868932593949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11956790678013003,0.0,0.11999669326733667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09681338527549596,0.0,0.1355212864613941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25691054685144965
bipolarreddit,Minter_,2020/02/17,I think I’m bi polar help. I’m 15 almost 16 I have pretty much all the symptoms and I don’t know what to do.,-4.251111111111111,-3.2048324074074066,0.06414814814814918,104.22066666666667,113.8148148148148,2.16,9.103703703703703,3.1291,-2.277305185185185,83,1,23,0,5,31,21,27,0.0,0.7709999999999999,0.22899999999999998,0.6845,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,1,5,7,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,7,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,12,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4560897019714345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30529347261497913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2503156569636326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33482453780028903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.463379060488458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.47341010276971296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2918482499457327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,CatInTheScat,2020/02/18,"Manic visual hallucination or something else? I was reading something on my phone (probably reddit) and my vision changed. All the sentences got wavy and the spaces between words and letters started to change. Imagine shaking a bowl of alphabet soup.

Has anyone else experienced this?",6.9247826086956525,10.638088,6.467565217391307,65.07960869565218,71.17391304347827,7.1582608695652175,39.63478260869565,8.238735603445708,4.3738921739130445,232,14,27,4,5,72,40,46,0.037000000000000005,0.8859999999999999,0.077,0.2168,0,0,2,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,2,0,0,0,1,7,4,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,1,3,0,4,2,1,4,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,1,18,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837468032843506,0.26925636961527444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5559876723099436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.439049691253894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21017479600830802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28332886744452684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26285814648534234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40461259258925,0.0,0.0,0.1860020142191464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,orangejuiceboxxy,2020/02/18,immediate release quetiapine to extended and have taken it wrong? Recently moved to extended release quetiapine and took it on a full meal because I'm so used to it. Is there any reason for this just in case any side effects happen,6.329224806201553,7.842222697674417,7.837209302325583,64.40294573643413,66.2093023255814,11.314728682170546,37.58914728682171,11.20814326018867,4.956417054263566,188,10,30,6,3,65,34,43,0.07200000000000001,0.9279999999999999,0.0,-0.4767,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,3,0,6,7,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,1,0,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,5,1,7,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,19,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44500926134030494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1994557617848543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28933851210064543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3477577709959783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3364121799376801,0.3230667664656585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3635270085431676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28259245612644435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3577376719532819,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,letsbecreative,2020/02/18,"Tardive dyskenisia issue. Advice needed.  I've been having an issue with tardive dyskinesia as a side effect of my medication. 

I've taken multiple antipsychotics and currently taking Risperdal. Also taking Ingrezza for countering TD but I still get the symptoms once in a while especially when I drink coffee. I guess coffee worsens the effects. But I need coffee for work even though I sleep like 9-10 hours a night. It's usually problems with me moving my jaw. I used to get bad issues with twitching and blinking my eyes with another antipsyhcotic but that is gone now, now its just my jaw. 

Any medications that have been effective in helping yall with TD? Should I not drink coffee? Tea? Anything caffeinated? I hear TD can become permanent if not careful and I want it to  stop. Its not fatal but it is annoying to have others ask me why I move my jaw and my jaw gets sore sometimes.

Thank yall in advance for any help and advice!",3.0499714285714283,5.9163565542857155,4.477357142857149,78.54689285714291,80.6,7.1571428571428575,26.464285714285715,8.238735603445708,2.300285714285714,747,31,126,16,20,247,110,175,0.139,0.7509999999999999,0.11,-0.6732,1,0,2,0,0,0,18.0,0,2,0,5,8,7,1,0,6,0,9,14,6,4,0,30,25,15,1,6,9,0,0,1,0,1,5,1,0,0,8,10,3,1,3,2,0,4,3,4,0,0,4,2,20,3,16,20,0,18,0,0,1,0,6,4,0,2,11,81,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2527919146362379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034383939343852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1759201868404561,0.1356311416807507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10644119437513026,0.0,0.12092156916296508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079989712761838,0.0,0.1428531086283082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13187743412490574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2534207638540588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08543218020348975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20273471045564226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14248981386335394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14578296899771542,0.0,0.1733965396765664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273803025745384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4050125968665769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06319219361255173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2606060940230633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2749498375138294,0.0,0.19181766434943814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12138298043380065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13774986050243282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12376718525799685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294399683266147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279270510600998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032963265383962,0.10813951239659304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13444059737844574,0.19450502515459347,0.0,0.0,0.11908493031445827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12708233433625685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1117138945192664,0.14245695725995394,0.0,0.07629194985919488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11671514803155028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09416583312584324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MissDoni,2020/02/18,"Spiraling... from family. Sorry a long vent. 

My(23F) grandmother(67F), who is a preacher, has raised me since I was 8 months old. I don’t know where I would be without her in my life. I’m the oldest of a handful of kids but I grew up an only child due to my parents being neglectful. Her oldest son doesn’t do a lot for her, since he focuses on his own family. She’s let my dad live with us for the last 14 years but he’s been struggling with his own battles with drugs, his declining eyesight, and isn’t that reliable. 

Now that being said she’s getting older in life and having some memory loss, which I’m starting to really worry about. I don’t have anyone willing to take care of her besides myself. She’s in no way a burden on me. I voluntarily take care of her because I love her. At the same time, I don’t really have a life outside of home and work. I pulled out of college to take care of her. I call out of work every time she has an emergency and to run errands for her.. 

But she can be downright mean and sanctimonious when the mood strikes. 

Such as yesterday my boyfriend, ended our relationship. I kept to myself in the evening and didn’t interact with anyone in the house, nor did they with me. I processed what happened and came to the decision that I am more than okay with it. I’m not hurting. 

I tell her about the break up but let her know everything is fine but I have to go pick up something from his house around 11. Right as I get ready to leave the house she says she wants to read something to me. I decline, knowing she tends to take a bit of time and that I’m fine with everything. 

When I get back she insists on reading it. So I say sure. The exact scripture reads, “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge”. 

I’m split between being angry and feeling like an utter disappointment. I’ve been feeling a lot better mentally and just got back to the stage where I’m energized and motivated. And that literally broke me. I’m ready to just leave the car keys on the table, pack a bag, and disappear. My brain will not shut up. I’m not doing nearly enough of the necessary things I can to improve my mental health because I haven’t had the time to even think about myself. I have no steady support group. And now I’m stuck at work, hiding, and idk what’s gonna happen.",2.9762167290074264,4.657508097251585,4.15818181818182,86.85214452214454,74.79281183932345,7.388279937117146,25.23602753835312,8.139509932561175,1.4462185612836769,1842,62,381,30,39,602,234,473,0.125,0.735,0.14,0.8964,1,0,3,0,0,0,58.0,2,0,1,7,18,22,1,1,28,1,38,8,2,2,3,61,78,29,0,2,12,3,3,1,0,5,5,3,2,2,12,28,0,2,9,3,0,7,14,8,0,0,11,6,62,13,66,55,10,56,1,5,0,1,44,24,0,3,23,258,74,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11801156002599195,0.0,0.0,0.07512286537438659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12977772848774569,0.0,0.10288380932555433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07463398461250914,0.09212941546846078,0.0,0.0,0.094204483000938,0.08616918635811617,0.09651694634572654,0.2581163819396653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09786283795113446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07474237614605804,0.08719496082499563,0.0,0.11147444292582853,0.0,0.07110020222730158,0.0,0.15168428759537922,0.0,0.15910625947916074,0.0,0.08533782379368003,0.06028652645829191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13226713198669313,0.0,0.04795942428198297,0.0,0.06749248180579771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14924737216472256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0897000847944689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08464765479728291,0.0,0.0,0.2921159204355261,0.09033868336880836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13913167292551748,0.06878716636993654,0.0,0.17870859176444254,0.0,0.17258410022052115,0.1788163967475787,0.041227524355819695,0.0,0.07451580693459603,0.07468038058145396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14348665899568055,0.076163114016853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09192284790994792,0.0,0.0,0.17008572826215007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06735738632888365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08855060265876084,0.0,0.0,0.06418058113461647,0.0,0.0,0.09370245587891764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25323134371163697,0.0,0.10812172948501136,0.0,0.0,0.0906007134807215,0.0,0.07206655906469439,0.08027194302686161,0.13421683134023116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13961260840457634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299314121501378,0.0,0.09446502206667984,0.059729985702144925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08822025396864915,0.0,0.0,0.0957620613984384,0.07953432507488252,0.0,0.2537959264733465,0.0,0.07375849191366084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05606337930266767,0.05407217397409776,0.0,0.0,0.1968283793795681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10150790616302684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04977399962181693,0.0669829580234292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08134664602778753,0.0,0.18430555849119806,0.085699715666876,0.0,0.05994653795232487,0.0,0.0,0.054342854996518884
bipolarreddit,insidetheborderline,2020/02/18,"Antipsychotics and LSD? Does anyone know the interaction between LSD and antipsychotics, specifically Geodon? I know there’s a huge risk for psychotic breaks with LSD and bipolar, but I’ve tripped before several times without issue. I was just recently put on Geodon/ziprasidone, and I don’t want to give up tripping. How do the two work together? How long should I stop taking Geodon before I trip? Thanks, y’all.",4.746883561643834,7.939632232876715,4.294777397260276,80.52380993150688,75.98630136986301,8.033561643835617,28.30308219178082,8.841846274778883,2.794946575342465,335,14,55,8,8,101,55,73,0.063,0.823,0.114,0.5514,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,1,4,2,0,1,3,0,4,1,0,2,0,15,10,7,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,5,0,1,2,0,0,4,2,1,0,1,1,0,6,1,7,8,0,12,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,4,30,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17147816394168913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4173639458045559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2146119949354965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2352574515221223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2559678206252893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.269556008627727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2170305102610927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24653487575329866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2421458373018135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27705245158028285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20503240288663951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843906625670572,0.0,0.0,0.22578490386027156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14300196141883373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23956475866876675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14464945748202354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2364035099711793,0.0,0.1785383215415925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,abigailrose16,2020/02/18,"Manic episode? I’m in the process of potentially getting the bipolar label attached after a very bad depressive episode. I think I may have had one extended manic episode before, but it was over a year ago so it’s harder for me to remember my mental state and logic (or lack thereof) behind the risky and poor decisions I was making. 

(TW: suicidal ideation mentions)

For the past 3-4 days now, I’ve been extremely amped up. Talking very fast, moving very fast, doing an excessive number of things. Also having some trouble focusing or sitting still. However, earlier in this episode I was also having some aggressively suicidal thoughts so I was attributing it to that. 

Over the past 24 hours, it’s gotten markedly more out of hand. I’ve been doing a lot of things (bakes two loaves of banana bread before class, caught up on weeks of material, cleaned the kitchen, just doing anything) but they were largely productive outlets of energy and I felt good and almost high off it. I kind of knew it probably wasn’t normal but it was useful to me until last night. I usually adhere to a very good sleep schedule of 10p-6:30a, but last night I couldn’t sleep or sit still to do anything useful, so at like 11:30pm I went outside and ran/walked about six miles in a snowstorm (probably underdressed for that). That whole experience was way more frantic than fun, and I didn’t really feel like I was “in the drivers seat” so to speak. It did work, it tired me out and I was able to sleep when I got home, more from physical exhaustion than anything. 

I really dislike the psych ER where I am, I’ve been twice (one this weekend for SI actually) and I found it really not helpful (although this time it was helpful other than one rude psych, who unfortunately had control over all decisions involving me). I asked for a medication change there this weekend and they can’t do anything for that. Unfortunately, I don’t have a return appt with my psych for 3 weeks. I asked to get on a waiting list but I doubt a sooner appt will appear. Since the conjecture of me having some form of cyclic mood disorder is new, I haven’t been put on any bipolar specific meds yet, I’m still taking 10mg Prozac (prescribed by GP not psych). It’s super low dose and it doesn’t seem to be doing much for my depression right now, and it’s almost definitely not helping on the mania (or whatever this is) front. 

I guess I have two main questions. Is what’s going on indicative of a manic/hypomanic episode? I would have said hypomanic if anything until the snowstorm experience because that was definitely not rational in any state of mind. I mean I was also doing more impulsive shit this weekend but I was practicing way better harm reduction at that time. 

Also, I’m about to run out of Prozac. Is it worth working really hard to get a refill or is it probably making this whole thing worse?",4.750363062352015,6.523755047882137,5.576636411470666,78.10808011049727,70.34438305709024,8.854669823730598,30.23980531439095,9.362217197678863,2.8506534596158906,2273,94,409,50,42,742,267,543,0.174,0.743,0.083,-0.9953,1,0,0,0,0,0,69.0,0,0,2,5,20,21,3,2,23,0,51,16,5,6,1,68,81,35,2,5,17,0,4,2,0,3,8,2,4,0,35,15,3,2,13,3,2,8,11,12,1,7,31,6,38,8,66,45,15,73,0,3,0,0,14,26,1,18,35,281,73,7,0.0727324103225601,0.0,0.07097634069849561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06447289332842776,0.0,0.14566200552628022,0.0,0.0,0.2326563290298209,0.0,0.07880553619721381,0.0,0.09892106623992893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2992628824623897,0.0,0.135989970995813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060728524584528924,0.044337002254806905,0.0,0.12377984837870652,0.0,0.0,0.06432590639367276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07694124614782112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08157558273913103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04690638765587137,0.0,0.1252886368699523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08335764347017471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422925071015877,0.0,0.0,0.036775692023496336,0.051960048467059684,0.06983451987470835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07974733381400011,0.0,0.0,0.11399904742201787,0.0,0.041335504905364535,0.122008990025457,0.05817075276708111,0.0,0.08012294989474464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06515395354770738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.146253004517406,0.0768457847922096,0.07295653779178396,0.0,0.0716267733393537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0757396129860985,0.0,0.11857324375675656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07106676365530212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061834494320634176,0.0,0.0,0.0970988973334618,0.0,0.0,0.07922691707798846,0.08078931152015613,0.0732702515623299,0.07329716275966429,0.0,0.07343900074625975,0.0,0.0,0.07730304173116206,0.0534666902854721,0.0,0.0,0.07024541511386415,0.0,0.1365088801182501,0.07126231956319971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14785609069242234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13886263099330928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23525351963573934,0.0,0.0,0.07311616120070102,0.08147694515533442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18637697788975185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08239164255942573,0.06211308101232797,0.06918517777112873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06621285471936643,0.0,0.0,0.07465877400328691,0.060165001414811535,0.0,0.2183548103983725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17425259050764308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15911490388999694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05468572090241733,0.05845955636253713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14496054476496198,0.04660399172868529,0.0,0.057741409507042186,0.08482170671526973,0.08359520629599898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420979929051537,0.0,0.0,0.12563490021395812,0.0801044744127677,0.24004742268129906,0.0,0.11546320379802542,0.1166831048187951,0.0,0.0,0.06742367304385101,0.0,0.16240627740204644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10590012190729982,0.0,0.07412053982233924,0.05166701749834875,0.0,0.0,0.046837287621986495
bipolarreddit,ohhellnahthrowaway,2020/02/18,"Effexor ER from lexapro Finally after 6 months of thinking the Lexapro wasn't really working finally got switched off. I work 6 days a week, so I dont even have enough down time to evaluate if I'm different on my one day off, bc I'm a drooly tired mess on my day off. Going to be trying Effexor to see if that helps. 
My only real concern is the possible side effect of decreased sex drive. I have been meh for a while, but when you work all the time. What time you have for that falls to the back burner, so its nap with me then we might fuck if i dont wake up looking like a house of horrors. When your bed mate works over nights and you work either openings or mornings depending on the day, it's kinda hard to get sex in otherwise.

I hate doing med changes. Some drugs are no no's like mood stabilizers, they really fucked me up. And I struggle more with the depression side then mania.",3.1595054945054954,4.505756049450554,4.32725274725275,87.19274725274728,73.67032967032965,8.057142857142857,26.186813186813183,8.634040054169528,1.7139846153846159,699,24,149,13,14,229,121,182,0.19699999999999998,0.7609999999999999,0.042,-0.9852,1,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,1,4,1,6,6,9,3,1,10,0,12,7,1,2,1,20,23,14,0,3,6,0,1,2,1,1,2,0,1,0,5,6,0,0,2,1,0,3,5,6,1,1,3,3,17,2,25,18,5,36,0,1,2,4,8,14,2,8,21,93,22,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09671583226307523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330568785222128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3244666722580677,0.0,0.1083327588962566,0.0,0.0,0.13141166626450548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2948227159180393,0.0,0.14586302180445634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12996271862058356,0.0,0.0830754525392407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27556819692196777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23256022369833024,0.06571402710468904,0.0,0.0714827680887928,0.0,0.10059648331669728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11267274857732072,0.12418013836368752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08430661589144801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14513139602318284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12289795411531845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10562218499945948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397114570795788,0.0,0.0,0.1334310147722963,0.0,0.0,0.10039512563172354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11803451587072895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.085230704739017,0.09566014742118684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14179625697839385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431633652182802,0.16115373839130445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10022910695215266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314909019361274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08059372542758708,0.0,0.0,0.22002720435754236,0.14456377776617335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08539528302848631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008918524249084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4578408968395084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,doeyeknowu,2020/02/18,"A year after being diagnosed and I am taking my first steps towards becoming a doctor This past year was a whirlwind, a lot of personal trauma and growth happened. I’m finally on a medication combo that doesn’t just mute the bipolar TV but actually turns it off. 

It took me 8 years for my Bachelors degree that is not personally fulfilling. I occasionally threw around the idea of going pre-Med but those kinds of goals are much too ambitious for someone contemplating suicide almost constantly. 

Well, I fucking did it. I was accepted into my colleges biology program (it’s one of the hardest programs to get into at my school). I am taking an intro to o-chem/biochem this semester and I received a 97% on the first test because I have been studying my ass off. 

For the first time I feel like I have passion for something. Suicide isn’t even in top 5 life plans anymore let along #1. I’ve been self-harm free for 8 weeks, I feel a bit burnt out with work and school and parenting but this is also the best I’ve felt in my entire life.",3.6776121141525913,5.636095811881193,5.166889924286547,79.1823325567851,73.55445544554455,8.119277810133955,29.704135119394287,8.841846274778883,2.5910858474082707,822,36,152,17,17,276,133,202,0.092,0.762,0.146,0.8549,1,0,1,0,0,2,21.0,0,0,0,9,6,9,1,0,14,0,16,9,1,0,0,23,29,9,2,0,5,1,3,1,0,0,6,0,0,2,10,11,0,0,5,1,1,6,3,2,1,4,8,3,17,8,26,19,4,31,0,0,0,3,4,13,2,2,13,104,27,11,0.0,0.0,0.1260658196300421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12936000880653642,0.0,0.0,0.10330911160894353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12811670003372622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150019428343024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07874991122654099,0.14267456387932692,0.0,0.0,0.13557157427605945,0.0,0.14103644367476495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13960297468069735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13111994624946116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13222621118625658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08532540291795625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13063952612317006,0.0922897127909474,0.12403775539617493,0.14151573488351002,0.0,0.3296538099010764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11942935116951113,0.0674937742580528,0.0,0.07341875129703407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11423777352154435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458340188403065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345261857062331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13210030480571214,0.18249421960602724,0.06311321294174613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10982837564215477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301401879387151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09496575996184764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08753902627738194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14344453477269964,0.0,0.1233215971679889,0.0,0.22559852992868934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2614840154915005,0.0,0.0,0.13476801672942362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10945793992945313,0.09945284140855593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28261460899283875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19426192333325207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07532874951178041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435291685486837,0.0,0.14051606632411506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10362432820005403,0.0,0.1161527325582078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09404814009697247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2495725052266144
bipolarreddit,maryksuul,2020/02/18,"DAE pees way too much I’m on medications for bipolar and I notice that I pee at least twice every waking hour. Does anyone have this problem? It’s not the worst thing ever but it’s still annoying.

Btw I take lithium, lamictal, buspar, remeron, and lorazepam",2.3584353741496566,5.175640387755101,3.7296938775510218,82.86828231292519,83.89795918367345,5.715646258503401,24.493197278911573,7.1686216300943375,1.4569972789115648,205,8,35,3,6,67,43,49,0.11800000000000001,0.838,0.045,-0.537,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,1,0,1,0,1,5,3,0,1,6,3,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,3,0,3,3,3,6,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,24,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22342507414245252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2796256956461709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28903611336437324,0.2692205399315024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3146758808606071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3218961273324123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23489370074748656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3637907168294119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3057501611750998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2551796618956376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2402492335364043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2122836894049385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536306165153529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,onebodyonesoul,2020/02/18,"the thought: But im gonna die anyways, has been lingering in my brain for over 7 months now, any BOOKS you’d recommended? In a last attempt to address this though that has prevented me from trying new things and doing better in life, beyond unmotivated why go to school if I’m gonna die anyway, why make friends, why to go outside, why try... deep depression and I’m miserable.

If you guys have any book recommendations that’d help ease this stupid thought would be great. Meds are not helping; therapy is not helping it’s just there.",4.441966019417475,6.1626759514563165,4.89726941747573,82.88337985436894,71.03883495145631,8.256796116504855,29.379854368932037,8.841846274778883,2.2544961165048543,425,17,84,8,8,135,78,103,0.20199999999999999,0.647,0.151,-0.795,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,2,0,2,7,6,1,1,2,0,11,2,1,1,0,13,20,6,2,3,6,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,1,6,2,0,1,2,2,0,2,2,3,0,0,3,0,4,3,10,11,0,12,0,2,0,0,7,6,0,2,4,44,10,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20440741721046868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13292105398218632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677755681321737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294462728813064,0.0,0.3119587202572022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161152205596578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17082880559137598,0.0,0.0,0.1656974522651611,0.0,0.14881270140939498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30221266358132864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623411420928459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12250803306041755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061556789371849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10032107200390226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1669405227193287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199616345128102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451529428471363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15210352007667013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17187199145572402,0.0,0.09984732163777134,0.0,0.1476611195184209,0.2386301084705125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20407679491053374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5424605870866492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10676311935609344,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Nek0de,2020/02/18,"How do I feel safe enough to cry Idk where else to post and actually maybe get an answer. I've needed to cry for weeks and it's getting to the point where.. my eyes are burning, I feel the toxicity that needs to be released",3.9405673758865234,4.2037084468085135,5.332765957446809,84.73333333333333,70.91489361702128,7.9687943262411345,26.30496453900709,7.793537801064563,1.1646794326241134,175,5,40,2,3,59,36,47,0.154,0.7879999999999999,0.059000000000000004,-0.5719,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,0,3,1,1,1,0,9,9,3,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,1,6,8,1,5,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,23,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.2493074541573963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5612561739834915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21341718577240915,0.0,0.0,0.2639747162279446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2583524048443559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26695104321106977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2566597033891429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3788640249810383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24150713657030584,0.0,0.2446751239223309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20492721602207795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,cunttwatula,2020/02/18,"Other people taking Temazepam, does it make you tired or just able to sleep when you want to? I don't find myself tired after taking it but I do get really deep sleep and feel refreshed when I wake up.",3.668943089430893,4.836622073170737,4.130243902439022,89.79260162601628,72.17073170731706,6.442276422764228,18.54471544715447,6.42735559955562,-0.11725040650406535,159,2,33,1,3,50,31,41,0.1,0.871,0.028999999999999998,-0.4118,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,5,3,1,0,8,8,5,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,4,8,0,5,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,3,21,9,0,0.24719340019452515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2163206103171569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12498841046898433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22593028949176394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12914834907029388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16500351411805572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17137277914315055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15835842191337796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4947438406237111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3717173466961087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5682248998108937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458010719948885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hooplamama999,2020/02/18,"Has Anyone Had This Happen on Higher Doses of Seroquel? I'm starting to take 400MG of Seroquel again which makes me nervous because of the side effects I could get. Like not being able to walk in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. Occasionally passing out and waking up on the floor with a bruised face if I woke up too early and just not really feeling able to function as effectively and sleeping excessively. Has anyone else had this feeling on Seroquel and what are some alternatives you've tried? (I'm allergic to Latuda, I don't want Lamotrigine again or Lithium)",7.919296636085626,7.870080761467893,8.058302752293582,69.64537461773702,62.48623853211009,9.835474006116213,37.432721712538225,9.2995712137729,3.563934556574924,469,21,78,7,6,153,76,109,0.083,0.867,0.05,-0.1669,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,2,4,2,0,1,6,0,8,5,3,3,0,19,20,7,0,3,5,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,4,0,0,3,3,1,0,0,3,2,4,1,19,15,1,18,0,0,0,0,0,10,0,3,6,54,8,0,0.5005494093423867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3499957853656582,0.2564360110318993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525651370017356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1998239866418805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20907240120411366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2530928211904564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13075820348320072,0.0,0.14223688224747166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22131709479583114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12227157883870733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670603087829531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23486585626045986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16033238446244205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2504554500697662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17714572412310614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881754308414353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699200960086582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14761850520907355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,purpose_driven_life,2020/02/18,"I’m almost positive I’m bipolar. What’s the best way to talk to my family? For context, I’m a married guy who’s a bit over 40. In over 15 years of treatment, I’ve only asked one doctor point blank if I’m BP or not. His answer was essentially that even if he had known me well enough and long enough, the diagnosis wasn’t so much as important at the time as that I was responding well to my meds.

Honestly “knowing” has not been of high importance because I know my triggers and how to handle them. My meds keep me on track for the most part. Im dealing. I’m coping. That being said, I recently recognized myself in someone else I saw coping with the disease and a lot of things clicked. And this isn’t one of those “a ha!” moments where I think I have the answer to everything. It’s just a way of continuing my understanding and coping. 

I have a hard time getting my wife and family to accept my disorder and challenges. A lot of it is due to the stigma. I want people to know but I also don’t want certain people to know. It would make it a lot easier to explain to people why I’ve behaved the way I have in the past but I think they still won’t understand.  The roller coaster and people over simplifying the disease to just “mood swings” is maddening. 

People don’t understand that I really just need other people to talk to that are facing similar issues to me. Years of being the “odd bird” has hardened me. 

Mania:
The high of excelling at things. The impulsiveness and thrill seeking. Instant gratification. The “brilliant” ideas I have which are often chaotic or off in the weeds. Being so sure I have the answer to a question or solution to a problem. 
The recognition I crave. The perfection I used to want and needed.

Depression:
The crash when the thrill is over. 
The low when my ideas don’t turn out so great. The disappointment of not getting the credit I think I deserve. The years I’ve lost not thinking straight. The loneliness and isolation even when I’m around people. 

The self-doubt, disappointment, crashed self-esteem, suicidal thoughts, etc. Being inside my own head is maddening.

What is my purpose? What is meaningful to me? Being able to look myself in the mirror and accept what I see. 

I’ve stopped procrastinating. I’ve started tackling tasks and issues head on. I’ve found it’s better to rip off the band aid, so to speak, than waste A LOT of time obsessing and worrying. 

I’d like to help people. 
So that’s where I am right now.",2.6635704787234085,5.005257510416668,4.150895390070922,83.49279255319148,78.0625,7.251773049645393,25.004432624113477,8.265842613841098,1.7691161347517732,1935,71,369,38,47,641,226,480,0.14400000000000002,0.696,0.16,0.3291,0,1,0,0,0,0,56.0,0,0,2,6,23,26,0,1,40,1,32,5,3,4,3,78,70,33,1,9,14,1,1,1,0,2,2,2,0,1,22,17,0,2,24,2,1,0,10,7,2,2,10,7,40,18,56,53,13,47,0,5,4,0,18,25,0,13,20,251,62,5,0.07605268143748012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07615577467256365,0.0,0.0,0.06081930186847586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06770301058416167,0.07109899078670248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04636100870881985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0798125970910619,0.06726241637584934,0.08302983065793049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07840697510000649,0.06550406308101586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0871629618226723,0.07784314207930511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06353225647408244,0.0,0.0,0.1571655001762756,0.08481884342121032,0.10046415763906848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06835124617079902,0.0,0.1433913990878833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08338783971474267,0.0,0.0,0.07946877418483023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08384834977437311,0.0,0.07530411160864788,0.0,0.0,0.0681282642989653,0.0,0.15610398470796105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050976509245821575,0.16070766704131295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717084403574284,0.08214994665813677,0.15875848062753836,0.0,0.06759911767126481,0.0,0.0,0.16718625907437032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037155498581028866,0.0,0.0,0.06730422983385416,0.06386509805021122,0.0,0.0830204857780839,0.25862908035408205,0.0,0.0,0.05076575541826776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1689547684545787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05590747159022921,0.11278419925172825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10307053040180486,0.05784149129828192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08235764271708808,0.07260088997235349,0.4218028270649058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07189436635748922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0727721449966887,0.0,0.0,0.0851964086837866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048721295169056655,0.0,0.07509284785565917,0.0,0.0,0.06494857440281653,0.07234351593585245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06060414053181246,0.0,0.15867906642559967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06443919018169733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05383047936245156,0.0,0.0607357696372252,0.06358344709538118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08318928964291239,0.0,0.07167875220831052,0.0,0.0,0.12225652903015068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10105204436481796,0.19492594956981776,0.0,0.060377333894406186,0.1330407904369732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08272347832673926,0.0,0.23752057055485,0.0,0.06568509830092924,0.0,0.0,0.13457352590657012,0.1811012356924111,0.0,0.0,0.13676098834431216,0.0,0.06862571575944583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0772351896847695,0.0,0.05402564283515576,0.0,0.0,0.14692630008189125
bipolarreddit,Hellrightnow,2020/02/18,"Making lies after calling out abusive behavior. A lots of TWs: My friend has BPD. We use to be cool, and honestly felt like I've handled the situations thrown at me well. But this?

She is incredibly abusive towards her husband. She screams at him all the time. Threatens to leave him, take ""him for everything he's worth"". Is controlling over the finances (she screams at him when he buys a drink). Abandoned him at places with no warning or reason other than the fact that ""she needs to make power moves to feel powerful"". She even left him at the doctor's while he was getting meds for his depression, and made him walk 4 hours home (knowing his phone was dead). Makes him sleep on the couch because his sleep schedule is to inconvenient for her (and won't let him buy his own bed, but bought herself a new one.). She's even, threaten to self harm/ commit suicide because he tried to leave. (Something she admitted to me) I mean, the only thing she doesn't do (that I know of) is hit him. 

 I tried to have a real talk to her because she seemed to be getting worse and worse.

I tried to talk to her about her drinking (she'll get so drunk, she'll piss herself and not clean up), and how it was dangerous. I've tried to talk to her about her abusive behavior and neglectfulness towards her animals. And she lack of respect towards myself.  And she will not own up to it! I then told her, that she needs to see her doctor because her meds aren't working because she not acting like herself ( turns out she quit taking her meds)

It's the husbands fault, she drinks. It my fault she is abusive (I have antisocial behavioral problems that I work on and own up to). It's the pets fault for being untrained and mean ( her dog bites everyone, with little warning/ reason. Especially the husband, and she laughs about it!) 

Now, I told the husband that this is abuse and he should seek help. But he still wants to work it out. And so my other half and I told him, that we'll support him the best we can. 

Now friend is telling husband that I want her dead, and that she feared for her dogs life. And that I don't support their marriage. 

I've never said any of this! Everyone just tippy toes around her, and let's do this and I couldn't watch it anymore. 

Is it even worth keeping this friendship? The person I befriended has disappeared! And it's hard to talk to her about anything that may sound like she's done something wrong. 

What can I do? Is this just something that she needs to figure out? Please help, I'm worried about her.",3.0296286031042117,5.108435839430896,3.424974131559498,90.42325942350334,75.76829268292683,6.180044345898002,26.019216555801922,7.075746649084167,1.086388617886179,1971,73,400,21,44,611,219,492,0.205,0.6859999999999999,0.109,-0.9955,2,0,6,0,1,2,78.0,3,0,1,8,19,27,2,1,17,1,38,11,4,9,4,75,73,30,3,9,9,5,3,3,2,7,3,4,5,2,31,29,4,4,11,4,6,4,10,14,1,2,11,10,83,13,59,48,7,38,0,3,2,0,93,22,1,4,15,278,114,6,0.0,0.409327459720193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046986519073199035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06852301692931242,0.0,0.0,0.05685875281859354,0.06150860952291365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2105963351669843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07251024477532172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08702189974047478,0.0,0.07055304413901724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774951750920848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05951085193184985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14144196510259086,0.0,0.07070749664630928,0.0,0.2030584397657384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13690847548621807,0.0,0.0,0.13204520154714822,0.06209753561694264,0.0,0.0,0.07775033943306522,0.034936173261638816,0.0,0.06634139976012934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10676422802989467,0.0,0.10829681926455166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06189495518858401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09262495640853964,0.0,0.06930725445586716,0.0,0.06804400477241893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06141422216027743,0.0,0.0,0.07594488220149992,0.0,0.0,0.14632185466366252,0.07507120022438737,0.14130728344058602,0.04880337417477018,0.10126801012823716,0.06925067824392155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05874153518990988,0.0,0.06537873309011354,0.13836302109237886,0.0,0.0,0.15052797920178734,0.23024469939165676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07343634642812674,0.0,0.15369772803911147,0.05328981286870932,0.06673174203454142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046820111492112286,0.05254935743317336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06033051070415544,0.0721888770567892,0.07584483430194114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06611394991337821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07349033327704659,0.0,0.07864448313117606,0.0,0.14208097387897328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06572453772467833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05505924157994658,0.06290089016259884,0.0720804632764437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07766493066514553,0.1382884738777257,0.0,0.0,0.15957659072656566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05517882744735225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07557799112601785,0.15681487153907506,0.0,0.0,0.10390068631006767,0.2221416460171853,0.060391496723488675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045903207883208924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040289464033188914,0.0,0.0,0.19806780232072232,0.0,0.1876420796724402,0.07515479862526148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059675323563989524,0.0,0.0,0.0815072612545961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06212410760952133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15090450255912102,0.07016865398981252,0.1408260662953668,0.0,0.07554381181105681,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lefthandbunny,2020/02/18,"What Is Causing Wrong Memories I have had memory issues for the past few decades. Sometimes it's an inability to remember events that happened a few weeks to a few months ago. Sometimes it's what I had for lunch, or if I""ve taken my meds. I do compensate & write things down & journal. Not remembering is one thing, but lately I've noticed that I am remembering things DIFFERENTLY than how they actually happened. Most recently & obviously it was with some shows I watch on Netflix. On one comedy show I'd stopped watching it, due to the fact that the newly added loud laugh track was just too annoying. I put that same show on this week & there is NO laugh track at all. Not on previous or current episodes. That freaked me out a bit. Then I decided to try to watch Altered Carbon, a sci-fi show. I remember that I could not follow the plot at all the first time I tried watching it, but I thought I'd try again. I had 0 issue following it. What the hell is going on here? Am I crazier than usual? I had changed meds, but that was AFTER the first things happened & was a very small change, that has since been dropped. Does this happen to other people? Is it something I should worry about? I don't feel hypo-manic & don't think I was when the original events happened. I'm sure there are other things (wouldn't there have to be) that I've not perceived correctly. What do I do with this? Maybe I'm mixing up dreams with reality? I take Lamotrigine 250mg, but I've been on that dose for a couple of years now. I also take 2mg clonazepam, as needed, but that's been for a couple of years as well. We'd added the lowest dose of buproprion & stopped it, due to anxiety, but, like I said, I think the first memories happened before that.",3.457120214079872,5.144760804034586,4.409784890901609,85.5196505763689,73.52449567723343,7.723713462330178,26.513894606834093,8.418075326091056,1.7282960889254837,1377,49,280,24,28,446,178,347,0.107,0.8109999999999999,0.083,-0.7399,3,0,1,0,0,0,58.0,1,0,1,3,13,9,2,0,18,0,33,3,0,3,6,47,53,15,0,5,14,0,1,1,0,2,2,2,0,0,34,4,1,2,10,6,0,4,8,4,1,5,15,7,26,5,35,33,9,44,1,0,4,0,4,12,1,5,28,185,60,0,0.0,0.0,0.07086918558853722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06437555666798636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05807627019827341,0.0,0.550805927812229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0555560932997386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06179648711487803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07928507450208419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07460341914717561,0.15365017128246616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05798323995619958,0.16071106009185818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07587516426925929,0.0,0.0,0.06355253017442078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036720170658435934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18531824964457225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0412730994540588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3853195733789674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1515982613074235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08192146055437698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03547973601554715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07295916688114985,0.0,0.16133468294776285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05796666967000817,0.0,0.0,0.05384874068436443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08268131601800438,0.0,0.0,0.09842191194564236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.069326492957575,0.05034736958998687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07300577553956253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07170606021512999,0.0,0.3290690137037244,0.0,0.06908072683355439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06007416850797522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055908428595269316,0.14365122466513733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12143149757406185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06844594483717067,0.0,0.10920632045936142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24123615580586694,0.09306726456966684,0.0,0.057654235569586584,0.042346824420523684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14791794317327775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07998353828561063,0.05992125397221136,0.0,0.0,0.1165069448364109,0.0,0.06529644263956952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0737517795690538,0.0,0.0,0.07940141701027988,0.0,0.0935331519286571
bipolarreddit,sugar_piehoneybunch,2020/02/18,"How can I help a friend with Bipolar? Hi all,

I've an online friend who struggles with Bipolar. I, myself, share a lot of characteristics with BPD (runs in the family but due to the inadequate healthcare system, diagnosis and treatment are unlikely!) and so I understand to some degree the vary in emotions, how heightened they are etc, etc. 

Having said this, I really want to be there for my friend in any way, shape or form I can be. I'm terrified that in reassuring them I'll merely add fuel to the fire. Is it merely a case of listening, empathising etc, etc? They're a wonderful person and frankly, I just want to help them in any way I can, whatever that may be.

Thanks.",3.6089370629370654,5.5768979076923095,5.085244755244755,79.65339160839163,73.76923076923076,8.727272727272727,26.433566433566433,9.339509955726095,2.3910769230769238,528,19,101,13,11,177,82,130,0.094,0.6859999999999999,0.22,0.9475,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,3,0,5,7,0,1,9,0,11,2,0,2,1,20,19,8,0,2,3,0,1,0,3,1,2,2,0,1,5,7,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,3,12,6,16,14,8,11,0,0,0,0,15,6,0,5,1,71,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20604057596471398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19079985810545247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17040899155170586,0.0,0.0,0.6758179975702641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14281391417814776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3511288472142059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20308483947694456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12879374746536754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13227765557993704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09705015658097203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14410432901733689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15837315037505795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13947420174673342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15770933075269974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1787087380110111,0.24049584095236504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642874619242384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Jacob-golds97,2020/02/18,"Need help supporting a friend The sister of a very close friend of mine was recently hospitalized after experiencing a psychotic episode. She appears to be manic right now (and has been for the last month or so). My friend and her sister grew up in an abusive one-parent household. This is the first time her sister has ever been hospitalized though (she was previously undiagnosed), and my friend is pretty shook. She just can't believe that all this is real and actually happening. She seems pretty depressed and she's unable to concentrate on school, and all this is making her feel more guilty about her relationship with her mother and her sister.  
  
I've been trying to comfort her to the best of my ability, spending time with her so she doesn't feel alone, helping with her work when I can, etc., but I'm really just at a loss. I feel pathetic every time I can only say to her ""it'll get better,"" or ""that sucks"" (it's at this point that I should probably mention that I have BPD and BP2). I just want to help her out and have no idea what to do. Does anyone who's been in a similar position have any suggestions?  
  
I should also probably note that she and I have gotten really close lately and I think I'm in love with her. I'm trying to keep my feelings out of this and just trying to comfort her as a friend since I'm not sure if she reciprocates, but I'm always nervous when comforting her (e.g. holding her hand, letting her fall asleep on me) that I'm pushing boundaries, and I feel guilty, like I'm taking advantage of her weakness to get closer.  
  
Anyway. Thanks to anyone who can give advice in advance :)",5.238579035448044,6.2031475878594255,5.981323596531265,78.72647497337594,68.32907348242811,9.028997413661953,28.00380343830823,9.23628265651192,2.28193242050814,1277,41,241,24,21,418,160,313,0.106,0.711,0.183,0.9743,1,1,0,0,0,0,42.0,0,0,0,7,15,22,1,2,11,0,27,4,2,1,4,52,56,25,0,5,10,5,6,1,5,3,1,1,0,0,16,21,0,2,8,0,1,6,4,6,0,1,7,8,41,16,35,44,5,35,0,2,0,1,46,16,1,5,14,168,57,2,0.0,0.1268984546385709,0.10451618313741397,0.0,0.0,0.10465891574501247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11092545746756882,0.0,0.08564949690860367,0.08911751264645687,0.0,0.0,0.07283308898101454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14977653306208913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12066737115217972,0.11239702820991697,0.09472308866528743,0.0,0.0,0.13489132398211948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09224686696488456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937257543937424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11944713346276932,0.0,0.09687996558939303,0.0902381240216907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2707701555692026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911009769041752,0.0,0.0,0.41373401740915705,0.0,0.11191283555989147,0.1027420770553268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09471001809710886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21536480542821546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12090521495444514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09519725222315224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08730249219470587,0.12081581442034492,0.0,0.0,0.10951913603623474,0.0,0.05232466771380272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966638112583578,0.0,0.07149147192058714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08548786066586997,0.0,0.0,0.07941483729984418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07257514311910628,0.08145596016301944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012460866847518,0.0,0.0,0.21792264417318696,0.230948319773374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12190561783977805,0.137224673475847,0.0,0.10575038585908557,0.11498755507600612,0.0,0.09146459350293187,0.0,0.08517187499382013,0.0,0.10839302568617634,0.0,0.0975017136949548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08859594964250525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12153817432782013,0.1009424455241961,0.0,0.08052743723599294,0.0,0.0,0.09860520821020713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06862669005635336,0.1052272525497238,0.0,0.1873562572929824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21814585153788532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08837043493549197,0.06317158334613594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07797159184745356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lilmisstiny5,2020/02/18,"I get asked and lectured all the time by family and other people about being on meds for the rest of my life The longest I've gone without taking my meds was two days. Given, I was also starting to feel withdrawal symptoms, but my mood was all over the place. I literally have no idea how, and have full sympathy for, 21 year old me that went through/put myself through hell because of my unmedicated BP. If meds is what it takes to feel normal and sane I see no reason to get off of them. It's just frustrating to see people make faces when they hear I take meds, asking if I'm schizophrenic, lecturing me that it's going to change the chemicals in my brain (duh), or telling me my children are going to come out with health issues and disabilities. Rant done",5.774733333333337,5.982562206666671,6.25,79.93833333333335,66.93333333333334,9.333333333333334,29.333333333333336,9.150863307647796,2.2503333333333333,601,19,119,10,9,195,102,150,0.121,0.851,0.027999999999999997,-0.9489,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,2,0,5,3,2,0,5,1,9,6,2,3,2,23,30,12,0,3,6,0,2,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,7,8,0,0,4,0,0,5,3,2,0,1,7,5,17,0,21,22,4,18,1,0,2,0,7,7,1,3,6,79,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10372973062118394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24252429525388455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07907053841380703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14480022154522545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13721689446150778,0.11173442345959267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08365277619991526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13273924793807676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12227985806994562,0.0,0.13117141985046762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355371450467245,0.0,0.14743534574980793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378765822719422,0.1461935701832522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14642777635114304,0.0,0.13538444147990755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916186188460922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08658300856043333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5763181121959547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12708910593674766,0.0,0.0,0.1361097314532699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17985036116213227,0.0,0.13552024473366292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13039524412734374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13336437091913975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20672552886213594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09181001675342368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13481925250563506,0.29257927974816017,0.0,0.11337301187495998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07563544757276934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267086658448326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12024326991651288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12503664360290992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08352954331077476
bipolarreddit,beets_bears_bubblegm,2020/02/19,"New job I started a new job last week. Basically a dream job for me. I had no idea that I was being so forward, honest, and assertive to the point that I was being insubordinate. I almost got fired today. I’ve felt like throwing up all day and I’ve been so anxious that my hands have been shaking. I can’t hold back the tears anymore... I really thought that this was going to be a good thing. I can feel myself catapulting in to a depressive episode and I’m panicking.",1.0836555023923466,3.488093231578951,3.3044976076555024,86.7533014354067,85.10526315789474,5.980861244019139,23.3732057416268,7.348242739294969,1.120894736842105,367,14,75,6,11,125,65,95,0.179,0.7070000000000001,0.114,-0.6439,3,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,1,6,0,12,1,1,0,1,10,19,5,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,1,4,1,0,4,2,2,0,0,9,4,11,3,6,7,1,15,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,1,10,49,17,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1925499514103314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21723216879758897,0.1906993095775013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478585974693067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12401068667618592,0.0,0.16561848681414373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09722724449139833,0.0,0.1846278768448356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10928243686186884,0.16128313636864486,0.15379131405386331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21707120694209092,0.0,0.0,0.572452359522271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1567414387948246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09394283594598106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3714283959802488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18177553584519407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12318544532946668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13610335171823906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12774846238528414,0.0,0.0,0.15265622019654398,0.0,0.0,0.1822677665366487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542428726152069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,midnightxmas,2020/02/19,"Is my mom bipolar (description below)? Every day when I come back home, my mom is either extremely pissed and lets all of her anger out on me. Or she is extremely happy and even if I do the worst of mistakes, would very gently explain to me what I did wrong. For dialogue context, she goes from ""You are such a fucking dumbass"", ""Every single one of your friends is better than you any day"", ""I wanna just punch your face so hard, ""I wanna poke your eyes out so bad"". To ""You are the love of my life"", ""Oh baby, that's fine just make sure to clean up the mess"" (yeah ikr that's weird). My dad often says it's because her mom died in 2015, but it's been 5 years and you're still letting your anger out on us?! I dont think so. I'm tired of this and was wondering if she's bipolar at all from these symptoms?",2.7839285714285715,3.5752742976190497,3.9878571428571448,91.40714285714287,73.88095238095238,7.028571428571429,23.523809523809533,7.1686216300943375,0.6476452380952376,614,16,141,6,12,201,110,168,0.151,0.759,0.09,-0.9175,0,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,1,7,0,1,11,16,4,0,4,1,14,10,3,1,3,27,22,12,1,6,7,4,1,0,1,1,5,1,2,0,7,8,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,10,0,1,3,3,25,6,23,16,5,16,0,0,1,2,21,9,2,5,6,98,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10186708649198443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11518463497486335,0.12507422537032406,0.0913148516319302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13248326002443755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12903683856300074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19321332573499894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554656204361144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17556095067737054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09893949575986168,0.0,0.2524208409446467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11573277894908725,0.1384848987469851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15946167589357144,0.134188675347295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502585895579754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3063551322404761,0.10580604046060732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13519762734032578,0.0,0.09999065061584983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.526321254800494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015063137471664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11912457480612412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11962806564472372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411818854972101,0.1556964235560345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09598385938912264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17216959812009258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18018732882283367,0.0,0.0,0.1235982005548963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16244844021646562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10641148019010567,0.16377948746751425,0.0,0.09646434699089387
bipolarreddit,wuntuuthree,2020/02/19,"A couple different questions (Quetiapine) Hi guys, 

10 years ago I was on Quetiapine but have stopped taking it until a recent trip to the ER (schizophrenic idealogies and paranoia). I was diagnosed with bi-polar at a younger age.

Now that I'm on it- its truly amazing how helpful it is. Like - all the bad shit *stopped*. 

My question for you all is this: I was prescribed 100mg from the ER. I don't have insurance and I don't make a lot.

How do I get a continued prescription? There are a few programs here that help with that- but the wait time is like 2 months- and I can't run out. I remember Quetiapine withdraw and its bad. 

So what should I do? if I'm correct- I need to a Therapist referral, and a Physical from a general physician. 

All advice welcome.",1.4540566741237912,4.025911456375842,3.6356487695749458,83.74043810589116,85.44295302013423,7.60641312453393,28.412005965697237,8.515128840125781,2.674480686055184,593,30,115,16,18,202,95,149,0.10800000000000001,0.7170000000000001,0.175,0.8862,1,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,1,0,0,6,7,1,0,13,0,15,4,1,3,4,28,22,12,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,1,3,0,0,1,10,8,0,3,3,0,0,2,3,3,2,0,3,0,12,4,12,18,5,17,0,0,0,0,8,4,1,4,13,81,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18456811112576701,0.1674277855574917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3154082860704561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2089884600497579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917058599925104,0.0,0.19733593602819188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09868027259303076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18701761382739165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25320012192557884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18455121604257974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16057620374555545,0.0,0.0,0.12607665424445588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507595684033665,0.0,0.0,0.14004966907457045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4231702285131341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864929407102384,0.0,0.21396046539897756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19387920346822726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3158187328866331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420117615269128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2193003895725201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11013551424008156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12163039291755867
bipolarreddit,b0red__,2020/02/19,"on some new medication, have trouble coping with the decreased emotional response i'm taking 500 mg of divalproex sodium and 2.5 mg of olanzapine a day. my quality of life has drastically improved since i started this medication. i've been more productive and focused. overall more stable than i thought i ever could be. i've noticed that i barely emotionally react to events, though. good or bad, i barely care. i don't know how to process this. anyone with the same experience? how do you cope?",4.4510000000000005,7.307807433333338,5.747777777777783,71.665,74.66666666666666,8.444444444444445,32.22222222222222,9.150863307647796,3.540222222222224,399,20,63,10,9,133,68,90,0.066,0.76,0.174,0.8411,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,0,4,4,0,0,3,0,7,3,0,3,1,14,13,6,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,8,2,9,9,4,6,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,5,41,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1516675516664255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18110963883688647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22115279602078936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1731838844089821,0.0,0.0,0.1398881165912941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.487986008611116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.196206266576883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2121782535198369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18193266071865996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11920730583353865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15320897425384505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4370252328284626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.209491698477064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2469519034614345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17942905333868825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15352903885889932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1630882889042677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2131116195109855,0.1722012166983769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,QuasiCorvine,2020/02/19,"Lithium - A confused rant So I’m diagnosed bipolar 2... been on and off countless meds trying to manage it. I get side effects with pretty much everything. Recently I came off Vraylar due to extreme fatigue and depression. Psych and I decided to try lithium again, because I’ve never tried it with this psych and I couldn’t remember how it went last time...

Now, I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. Everyone I’ve talked to about it and everyone I’ve read stories from seems to have only had mild side effects... but I’m having just a terrible time. Started at 900mg daily. Fine for the first couple weeks then all of a sudden my vision was shot. It’s so blurry that it feels dangerous to drive. Called my psych to complain and was told my blood level was 1.1 so we could cut back. Now on 600mg for about a week. Nausea, stomach pains, slight tremor, always thirsty, and god my vision is wrecked... I’ve been drinking more water than ever and making sure to eat despite my lack of appetite due to nausea, but nothing helps.

I don’t remember this happening last time I tried lithium. But I don’t remember anything about that time... is this common? Does it go away? I’ve finally gotten myself to fall in love with exercise again— hiking— and it’s been doing wonders for my mood. But the nausea and extreme thirst and risks that come along with dehydration make it hard to feel safe doing what I enjoy...  

I feel like I’m never going to be able to enjoy my life because I keep getting shifted from one drug to the next, each with little efficacy and a plague of new side effects. Some days it feels like being drug free and dealing with my symptoms would be easier, because at least they’re familiar...",3.8032308904649312,5.665774197568389,4.65644714623438,83.38132275132277,72.98176291793314,7.184104469210852,27.38275357424293,7.921354282810032,1.7959799842395578,1337,50,247,19,27,432,184,329,0.105,0.762,0.132,0.9251,0,0,3,0,0,0,48.0,1,0,0,4,13,20,2,2,8,0,23,16,3,6,5,59,49,22,0,4,5,0,5,2,0,1,9,0,0,0,18,24,4,2,14,3,1,7,6,10,0,2,11,5,21,10,41,32,7,47,0,2,0,1,8,13,0,4,29,150,39,5,0.10104041244840167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08407371733575049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0831476502439472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09493079354226096,0.07769384032037174,0.0,0.18477989281603066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10317355810517202,0.11556331436796323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08703736859475393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08067254760685938,0.11179929455479704,0.0,0.06516270716445352,0.10416822856467987,0.08702595918584166,0.1025538917511545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0884211458329202,0.0,0.0,0.0989811377126678,0.2343496004645144,0.10338956670133582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913968377323612,0.0,0.19309688817239484,0.09080860758521857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2043562738344664,0.14436658168393438,0.0,0.11068483302088147,0.0,0.08594492321209185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10557889043011484,0.0,0.11484718974329057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08934970303703513,0.0,0.09051236319418922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0677252586236785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0898093611106599,0.0,0.0,0.055529168246574,0.1647228436593059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07136783143230141,0.09872648354783768,0.10126903754207503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09119291711576533,0.0,0.13489051980193825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11223312029969937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07427632900843616,0.0,0.15585719004810356,0.09758545996532834,0.1074576249173624,0.0,0.0,0.09695100081923466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06846759842146434,0.07684578672237126,0.10751412272386172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10279442414399724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010677554189784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09976521768661356,0.0,0.3433772719583632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09198339668052674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07151692398312752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952293929684545,0.10501967621684397,0.0,0.08121245618322613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2356699081765436,0.0,0.0,0.09654844408619742,0.0,0.2743992303424017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16209704840476347,0.0,0.0,0.0936654746202435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10957401720486296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07177621001228754,0.1104718294226506,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jameye11,2020/02/19,"I'm considering stopping my meds, but hear me out first... I was diagnosed with bipolar a few months ago, and I've been on medication since. However, my last visit (6 weeks ago) the psychiatrist told me it's only a mild form of bipolar (I suppose after seeing them often enough they can boil it down to that). 

Now here's where it gets a bit tricky. I was born without a thyroid. Congenital hypothyroidism. I've been on medication for that since I was 2 days old. This past month after doing some research I've found that my bipolar symptoms (mania, anxiety, fatigue, memory loss, etc) are most likely from my thyroid issues. 

My question to you guys is, should I still consider stopping medication and see if talk therapy alone helps? Obviously no one wants to take medication if they don't have to, and I know a lot of people with bipolar have told their horror stories here about what happens when they stop taking their meds, but I really wasn't a huge threat to myself or others before I started on medication. It was more of a ""somethings wrong and I need to do something about it"" situation, and I didn't start doing talk therapy until after I started medication.",7.631849315068492,7.4666595479452065,8.176815068493152,68.94412671232878,63.10958904109589,10.952968036529679,35.60159817351598,10.504223727775694,3.804984474885845,927,38,160,20,12,309,135,219,0.152,0.8140000000000001,0.034,-0.9709,1,1,2,0,0,0,32.0,0,1,6,2,9,5,1,0,8,0,18,16,0,0,1,28,35,12,0,5,6,0,0,1,0,1,15,1,0,1,11,8,1,3,3,0,0,1,5,4,0,2,11,3,26,1,25,23,9,32,0,2,2,0,16,7,0,8,25,116,37,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17122271957654514,0.0,0.0,0.1000266045859095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07388258739951233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08218152301701341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10543913544771592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06228539503444865,0.0,0.0,0.09802554157119496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09979181174694801,0.10771099313513297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08214995549464582,0.0,0.1058937692237168,0.0,0.0,0.0504584844913082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09562828637319112,0.08540439450784873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10885142949230033,0.0,0.06473479495779924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10080327040123717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053077232832630564,0.07872468651911965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04718356783904065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08210791958169444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2145547518820368,0.5837584334544554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15417669903629416,0.0,0.0,0.07161202405830343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013432999681871,0.0,0.06544435614036635,0.07345259874879577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09219547975422183,0.06695564272308642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10819046123166737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06187091072945172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15392174430782962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15978211359452785,0.1085587201756861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14870229768581714,0.0,0.0,0.20507710878382548,0.0,0.0771280272470241,0.24223283261203066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10038244732601072,0.1452306135420052,0.1552529087634173,0.0,0.0,0.22089275798095268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845705386270569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05696473228678998,0.0,0.07746976095029698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09309860466527707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10559385628965257,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Woodturner72406,2020/02/19,"Drowning in emotions I feel like I'm caught in a vortex of swirling emotion.  It is very confusing and painful.  I hate myself, I love myself, I'm a selfish bastard, I'm the hidden saint. Who the fuck am I?  I'm sick of feeling broken, always the predetermined loser.  God must have some plan for me, because of the rare circumstances surrounding my birth and subsequent survival to this point but come on, why did it have to be so painful?",3.9146428571428578,5.882977369047621,4.542380952380952,83.86928571428571,72.92857142857143,7.180952380952381,31.04761904761905,7.957251820313856,2.262233333333333,345,16,64,5,7,110,61,84,0.257,0.665,0.078,-0.9375,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,3,1,10,3,1,6,0,7,5,0,0,1,9,18,4,1,1,1,0,2,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,8,0,0,2,2,8,2,9,14,1,8,1,1,0,2,2,5,2,2,2,39,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1950393179919606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14288787433827138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2019145762610065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5273361998926543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370390506041306,0.1674551841214473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21669873472135406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23142116423004605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11451584769362153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115548702209349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.49883558941074996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22158347007156975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19340429112791827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21150926010684803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,moonshinefey,2020/02/19,"Missed 2 days of meds. Hypomanic. I forgot to fill one of my prescriptions and missed 2 doses.   I just came out of a pretty severe manic episode where I had to go on leave from work.   Im definitely hypomanic now.  Im hoping after a week or 2 of consistent med taking I'll come back down.   

Has this happened to anyone else?   How did you handle it?",0.9102857142857133,3.2452242428571445,3.668214285714289,84.34803571428574,85.14285714285714,6.357142857142858,18.75,7.645422480735847,0.7445714285714295,267,7,54,5,8,94,54,70,0.11800000000000001,0.7509999999999999,0.131,0.4329,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,1,5,3,0,0,2,0,3,1,0,1,0,9,12,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,2,0,1,4,0,5,1,12,8,0,13,0,2,0,0,1,4,0,2,5,32,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14702369216445624,0.21544356087857294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616824724525484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404896233057514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811265460960068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356049277858611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1756512371862029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11949967664974173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18593856141438436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20884274081666085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4542492449066031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22264256973581206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4671188425309871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14248247415783796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21391730131248954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2375420486097501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15809474155833494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16866363829662973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15307700189054887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bipolargirl1998,2020/02/19,"Will it get better? (also self harm tw) Does it get better?

i’ve been experiencing my 10000th depressive episode and i’m just so tired of always coming back to such intense negative feelings. i’ve tired like 5 different medications now and two of them i thought were working until another depressive episode hit. i’m just so tired of feeling like my life is better and going to stay better and then i get suicidal again. this episode has hit me harder than others as i’ve started self harming again. i don’t want to keep going through this. can it/ will it get better? what things could i try besides medication/ therapy/ and doing things i enjoy?",3.3763240857503165,6.156308549180332,4.319180327868853,80.8112547288777,78.2622950819672,7.032534678436318,28.237074401008826,8.139509932561175,2.3130421185372008,521,23,90,10,13,168,77,122,0.218,0.601,0.18100000000000002,-0.8915,1,0,0,0,1,0,14.0,0,0,1,6,10,12,0,0,0,0,10,6,0,0,0,14,27,11,1,2,2,0,2,2,0,2,6,0,0,2,10,6,0,1,3,0,0,3,2,4,0,1,3,3,9,8,10,19,0,11,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,9,57,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09744485719823667,0.10139047638496647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12777225873304168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09369652885456882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5388401672816857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10496455425985414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09728876386402197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2099015896840592,0.0,0.0,0.12730921806563486,0.0,0.0,0.10663334966743736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232238838303548,0.0870509652413041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25465018881361123,0.0,0.138502395856301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10830749722264564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08606754473084383,0.11906128949613268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455057803118681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542360483129229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0862473460437005,0.12987782824319002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13328611477992114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13934817675979352,0.0,0.16190587083709204,0.0,0.0,0.09673673486213114,0.0,0.4201522292012084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08272938786856103,0.0,0.11903152331629832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07187136107430382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08870957690740479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Equivalent-Blueberry,2020/02/19,"Does anyone else have to convince themselves that they really are Bipolar? I was recently diagnosed with bipolar II two weeks ago after a 2 year long process of trying different antidepressants to treat unipolar depression and GAD. I finally switched from my gp to an actual psychiatrist and she was pretty confident that I was actually bipolar. I guess when she explained it I do fit the mould for it due to my questionable decisions, impulse control, and obviously the rapid cycling between moods. I’ve been prescribed remeron and trileptal and I feel SO much better. Even after all this, I still find myself doubting wether or not I actually have this disorder. I guess when I think of bpd I imagine people who are totally out of control, whereas I’m very successful in school and work, however my personal life is a totally different story. Anyways, does anyone else feel this way? I just can’t wrap my head around this being an actual disease that I have now.",7.014171483622353,8.657209988439313,7.425563583815028,67.50266136801542,64.72254335260115,11.084585741811175,38.69412331406551,11.038039088145766,5.00748978805395,780,42,119,23,12,255,117,173,0.065,0.8109999999999999,0.124,0.8886,3,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,5,9,7,0,1,6,0,13,6,1,2,4,29,20,10,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,10,9,0,2,8,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,4,2,21,4,16,15,4,18,0,1,0,0,7,4,0,5,13,87,31,3,0.0,0.0,0.4797301427361594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10894331130160463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17186888055875132,0.2518508621751458,0.0,0.10940693245151496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086949395819005,0.0,0.0,0.15478807244312476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27568528868985626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10585347007420996,0.12474077175400693,0.0,0.2568083933993223,0.1408538880933897,0.0,0.21510099289718848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2053341271703606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08117419900369427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242837247597556,0.0,0.0,0.13463079027747102,0.11232824630990154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27077610518643364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261307138559627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08680780630809101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087625094305088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09034553877339868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08520328898664963,0.1073114180367878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12503334179501374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376759711208361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07873279789951172,0.0,0.12134878585233777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12438122050359107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09814798764126408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07874926836200949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08344093816710613,0.0,0.1200553060147338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10140525632648216,0.0,0.09755218903525244,0.09858285517881962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08947256243840569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07914348096543382
bipolarreddit,green170,2020/02/19,"Symptoms Anyone experienced crying so intensely for a legitimate reason, not just out of the blue. Only to then bounce back contently like nothing happened, like you’re back to yourself within seconds. It doesn’t matter how long the crying is, you just bounce back fast. Is that a symptom?

I’m already diagnosed, I’m just wondering if anyone experiences this. The ‘bouncing back’ part. Then the cycle repeats of course.",4.9404452054794525,8.181269945205482,5.426284246575341,72.41148116438356,75.57534246575344,7.485616438356162,31.042808219178077,8.472884824447931,3.198782191780821,338,16,48,7,8,108,53,73,0.083,0.8340000000000001,0.08199999999999999,-0.2732,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,0,9,2,0,0,6,0,3,3,0,2,0,10,7,5,0,1,5,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,2,1,2,7,7,1,11,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,2,11,35,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19758408899815064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2503892631167631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5507079102734852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39335197693184026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18173010622144156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17514345014641128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15833169026071464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1749477668341725,0.0,0.0,0.15845198096653587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17180153162696762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13617418847071264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19389170143497814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18409132157041236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37219917427489735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19417008409654665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,throwyoyoawayay,2020/02/19,"In a mixed episode. Doing shrooms this weekend? Hello. I’m in a mixed episode, very agitated, having suicidal ideation every so often, exhausted but can’t sleep, doing weird projects and then quitting them, smoking weed all day, you get what I mean. Coincidentally I also have the chance to do shrooms this weekend, after wanting to do them for years and years. I’m not going to give up the chance to do them, but In the name of harm reduction I was wondering if anyone could give me their experience doing shrooms in a mixed episode or any other time.",5.082160194174757,6.961879,5.355521844660196,79.59794296116505,69.67961165048544,7.868446601941748,32.29247572815534,8.472884824447931,2.6031368932038843,439,20,79,7,8,139,69,103,0.13,0.823,0.047,-0.8279,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,4,1,3,3,0,0,6,0,11,2,1,0,1,14,20,9,1,3,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,2,0,1,2,3,0,0,1,0,9,0,12,18,1,14,0,0,0,0,9,5,0,4,8,54,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19222643799998448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16346208405983026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16807459754979706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19191851753610004,0.0,0.0,0.15502089036019953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2025248691302935,0.0,0.0,0.2351312075479347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12558512613980666,0.4611759372303214,0.1366096835452201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26183698723570603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25566658847408946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2405468907612717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26292937170485137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14016360195269614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1983331431623694,0.1417783978626854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26067458591879594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3095850434054159
bipolarreddit,Scrabby1234,2020/02/19,"Today was a really bad day Throwaway so I'm not associated with the story. 

I have been coming off of antidepressants and mood stabilizers for six months, almost the entire time I was at a new job. Today, I was taken aside and let go due to my poor job performance. I feel just absolutely shitty about it all. I have really been struggling through the mental stress and feeling like my work performance is terrible and unreliable. And then all my worst thoughts manifest in real life today.

We have a mortgage. We want to start a family. We have a million other bills to handle. I'm having medical problems. I have no income now. We were already worried about money before this. The feeling of despair is suffocating me. 

I wouldn't hire me either. My moods are erratic and my memory is not as good as I was used to before. I have to somehow spend energy on finding a new job, while I feel pretty dead inside. And if I land an interview, I have to remain emotionally stable while explaining why I was fired from my last job. I don't have much confidence in my ability to do that. 

Has anyone gone through this? Is there anything that helped you through it? I am reaching out here because I have few friends and none have experience with bipolar. Or job loss. I want to build up some hope that I can achieve this.",3.030478087649404,5.521282199203188,4.591735458167332,80.02447968127494,77.60557768924303,7.681338645418327,25.97625498007968,8.608573733854374,2.194484812749004,1036,40,188,23,25,346,152,251,0.18100000000000002,0.723,0.095,-0.9803,7,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,4,1,0,5,8,14,0,2,11,0,31,3,0,1,2,41,48,16,1,6,6,0,5,1,1,1,3,0,0,0,9,16,0,0,7,0,4,3,6,8,0,2,11,5,32,4,28,35,8,26,0,2,0,0,9,8,0,6,16,143,41,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11525455791668472,0.0,0.12701409665047253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08047957258858736,0.0,0.09471628814791402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961024699424395,0.07016299927721198,0.0,0.19588075356147952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09914719729625833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07422903389546855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12947036122996616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11258845394581198,0.10850465629156576,0.0,0.2327891126273693,0.08222641716023896,0.0,0.0,0.10519797677458173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08892484344699034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06541315049065702,0.09653919123548088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07714812254913113,0.0,0.0,0.11431881672753495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.571087685228765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09382066888723872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11769605128746978,0.0812974998884673,0.05623133086811434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11594966610200926,0.11599225288557825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09187055338034623,0.0,0.08461066741263004,0.0,0.0,0.2223257667054906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11709658984536965,0.0,0.1101337546141974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13100733231454814,0.14747013893513586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0814673362333709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13184498418129365,0.1203259804630963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09137538100173584,0.06711488197547373,0.0,0.3272998622036909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994081801273433,0.0,0.0,0.13577619733883914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10385852636360206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08379310506985127,0.1168881503865311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,LawyerMcLawyerson,2020/02/19,"M26BP1. I’m the healthiest and most functional I have ever been, but textbook hypomanic. Has anyone else ever sustained the high or am I on borrowed time? I’ve been in an upswing since January 1, 2019. I was in a severe depressive episode from October 2018 til December 31, 2018 and started the new year in a full blown manic episode that has decreased in intensity but not yet led to a crash. 

Since 1/1/19 I intentionally lost 40lbs and have now gained back 15 of muscle. I had never run a mile and now I have great 5K and 10K+ speeds and have run two races. I quit nicotine on 1/9. Graduated law school with an award. Passed the bar (studied 10 hours a day, only taking one day off). Secured a high paying job doing exactly what Ive always wanted to do. Found an incredibly healthy and honest romance with a woman I love and will be getting married at the end of the summer. 

I have engaged in constant goal oriented behavior for over a year now and it’s paid off in exactly the ways I’d hoped for, but a big part of it is how energized and motivated I have been. My meds have been tweaked to suppress the manic symptoms and I’m in regular contact with my doctor. The intensity and balance between euphoria/dysphoria ebbs and flows though. Has anyone else had this long of an upswing? How did it end?",3.7357686539182597,5.61964285433071,5.0617885264341975,80.31502624671917,73.21259842519684,8.145181852268466,29.811773528308958,8.841846274778883,2.54740254968129,1031,45,194,21,21,343,157,254,0.048,0.7609999999999999,0.191,0.9925,2,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,0,6,10,11,0,0,22,0,25,4,0,5,5,37,36,21,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,6,16,1,2,2,1,3,5,2,2,0,2,11,0,13,9,28,23,3,47,0,2,0,1,3,18,0,3,23,127,19,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150225447891506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193314169919023,0.283276066071401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062941369941187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14938286249736538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17830020227304735,0.0,0.11906155223632245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14148931976100135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23095511078526196,0.0,0.24487025507108404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2500828367009045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15156747791036335,0.0,0.0,0.07222205130284373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15240451060636925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2921056098543325,0.0,0.13729848737381478,0.1361335717031484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13717684906869212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12233357289879745,0.0,0.0,0.1508997677277962,0.0,0.1247624314208966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1535478567569997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10661530851209344,0.1335081675383332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936715736570584,0.10513390183322936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14969497034547766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14702987556538322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13990114043331595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561661364635472,0.0,0.22869874356390146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09784340282208047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14367903304612695,0.10393547217793414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13581512780160698,0.0,0.08060590582797003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13503545115998494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08153454982140786,0.1097244619609132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1780375397523447
bipolarreddit,r4dbunny99,2020/02/19,"Medications ? I’m on lexapro and lamotrigine, my psychiatrist upped the dosage and it seemed to make things worse. So I went back down. I’ve been having panic attacks every night and my mood has been up and down like crazy. It’s the first mood stabilizer I’ve ever been on, I’m scared to try others. I’m scared because I don’t know how I’m going to act.",1.850039138943249,3.914912712328768,3.510019569471627,88.47191780821919,79.41095890410959,6.36320939334638,20.01761252446184,7.447530270364453,0.4401639921722112,280,7,61,4,7,93,48,73,0.23,0.737,0.033,-0.9325,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,4,7,1,3,2,0,6,1,0,2,1,9,15,6,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,2,0,0,3,1,4,0,1,4,0,4,1,9,11,0,13,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,1,5,34,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2781497189071646,0.0,0.18800248242858905,0.0,0.14904261139645578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22116080642883867,0.2059985896758792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079683389234018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13895282227428005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343687148749856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11944849110240202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16320310898699178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463041945814217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22944311677526524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2868636056773138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4895666886433465,0.0,0.0,0.22258015367555872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16243240816520144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1659968675384783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266504226570007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2491625110274281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,WackoJoel,2020/02/19,"Anyone here a manager or team leader? I'm about to accept a job as a manager of a service desk but I have a mixed episode which has lasted for two months. Ironically, I think it's because I got let go from my previous job for having time off to adjust for the antipsychotics. 

I just want to know if we're capable of managing people when I can't even manage myself. I know I have leadership qualities and experience but given my mental status has gone worse over the years, i'm worried it might impact my judgement and how i handle my team.",5.037063492063492,5.6920197962962975,6.597513227513229,75.24166666666669,68.62962962962962,9.875132275132275,29.317460317460323,9.957137785484203,2.875490476190476,430,15,80,10,7,148,76,108,0.07,0.862,0.067,-0.3182,2,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,6,1,0,0,7,0,8,0,0,1,0,15,18,9,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,5,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,3,0,13,1,13,13,0,9,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,3,5,56,16,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16540920331043854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14420560943635374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15624654728549556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23140240274799465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344432725058949,0.0,0.18919972996683435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4695012957734726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2600158737984609,0.19282908190905693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419000182290433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2383982111593267,0.25095421958879643,0.0,0.0,0.18882102070814347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16400186124320645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15157896762569745,0.0,0.0,0.13794083145281874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310860751117735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395300192829496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2402395441474873,0.2410762359485665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15233775993824836
bipolarreddit,1234bananaphone,2020/02/20,"meds and cycling anyone experience more mood cycles when theyre on meds? ive been in treatment for bipolar since the summer and ive been cycling wayyy more than I did pre treatment, though these cycles are more manageable than pre treatment and much shorter. for example ive been on lithium for the past 6 ish months, and been changing my seroquel for latuda now since late last month. and when i first started on the latuda i was really depressed, which lifted for a few weeks up to possible hypo, and now these past few days i suddenly crashed and im REALLY depressed. like, what the hell?? I can barely move and called out of work 3 times this week. im lucky im on reading break at school otherwise id skip class too 😭",3.5920187793427227,5.549525690140847,4.148943661971831,86.39318075117373,73.78873239436619,6.986854460093897,26.622065727699532,7.793537801064563,1.5556460093896716,576,21,111,8,12,182,89,142,0.08900000000000001,0.866,0.045,-0.7936,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,2,6,6,1,0,5,0,11,1,0,0,0,10,12,11,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,9,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,3,0,1,6,0,9,2,17,6,6,28,1,2,0,0,1,8,1,1,19,65,14,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033488483226946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15092565794492552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15635832729543386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09532214099122603,0.0,0.2546088433825753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14458186935478912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12572304688366487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4789650119115349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12048098376377302,0.16673072909672654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07221016585885934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3283565641339449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23595343715763836,0.15709356041247202,0.10865384533801424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28219361906671914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16662818040026298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14784522084696303,0.0,0.18937562080312695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14958677627068215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2445320151138141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1046172973442278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14521788081003392,0.0,0.08618641394800843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2371208682798444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10760396244425033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ALL_the_Schweinhaxn,2020/02/20,"Recently diagnosed with BiPolar II I have been going to a therapist for about a year and was recently asked to meet with a medical doctor for evaluation to potentially begin a medical schedule (lamictol?).  Received the diagnosis and was a bit shocked; always battled depression, but never experienced manic episodes, at least I don't think so.  I am in my early 30s, family, and not too sure how to approach this and want to be as knowledgeable as possible moving forward.  For what it's worth, I trust my therapist and MD, just want to be making informed decisions.  Any advice is most welcome!",10.231698113207553,9.096488207547173,10.711962264150944,56.022660377358505,58.433962264150935,14.895094339622645,45.72830188679245,13.662883650711644,6.76397962264151,474,26,71,17,5,162,79,106,0.07400000000000001,0.7929999999999999,0.133,0.812,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,5,6,1,0,6,0,9,5,0,2,2,21,16,10,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,7,0,0,4,0,1,5,3,3,0,0,3,1,6,3,16,11,3,14,0,1,0,0,5,3,0,1,8,54,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843277279016252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15695584561937875,0.0,0.0,0.12827533815309072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17634423260872292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059358594122746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.162467337566422,0.191456180497874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19307150498111172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17782422756676566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10720316856682086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12591245083764072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3800511520134073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2004845720986524,0.0,0.0,0.14548361744353427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21265276157348814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37250010114029536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17778219370856932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4380295414119405,0.0,0.12086693007900284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22251853735062785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12147198036283935
bipolarreddit,EquilibriumMachine,2020/02/20,Quitting lamotrigine I’ve been on 100mg for a few months now and just wanna quit this crap. I have had brain fog recently buy never considered it from lamictal until now. I’m not even sure i have bipolar anyway. Should i be ok just cutting to 50mg for a week then stopping?,3.9053571428571416,4.975238821428572,5.252142857142856,82.34285714285716,71.5,8.457142857142857,28.285714285714285,8.841846274778883,2.1315142857142857,218,8,44,4,4,73,46,56,0.154,0.804,0.042,-0.5943,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,2,6,4,2,0,2,1,6,3,2,0,2,9,7,3,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,3,2,7,3,1,10,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,9,31,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34214999529203083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20243718190075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24464153595621954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363879848091464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6519907220959378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3026270235682507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2562437021921312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28886808868379393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2458519533432261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jaj488,2020/02/20,"I haven't missed class this semester! I just wanted to share that I haven’t missed a single class for the first month of this semester in college! I’m currently a junior and by this point in the semester I’ve always missed at least one class, usually a lot more. My issues with attendance drastically affect my grades. I’ve almost failed multiple courses because of missed assignments,  but fortunately once I explained my situation my professors were generally understanding and gave me extra time. At a certain point though, they had to draw a line just because of school policy.

Generally, I do pretty well in school when I’m stable. And I still manage to decently during episodes, usually managing to maintain straight Bs, but I have gotten a few Cs. Prior to my diagnosis, I had never had a C and usually had straight As, maybe a few Bs. So it was tough to underperform to what I usually did. But now, I’m proud to even be making it through school given everything. I’m going to have a degree from a good school, and there’s no way in hell my bipolar is taking it away. I’m writing this now because today it was hard to get out of bed, and it was a day where I would usually skip class. But I fought through it and I’m just proud.",4.488791666666668,6.014040962500001,5.785833333333333,77.3291666666667,70.625,9.5,29.583333333333336,9.861636050157227,2.9705833333333334,981,39,184,25,18,329,132,240,0.07400000000000001,0.7709999999999999,0.154,0.9461,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,1,4,13,14,2,0,13,0,17,1,0,2,2,29,38,15,0,2,7,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,12,9,0,0,2,0,0,2,4,8,1,2,13,1,19,6,29,23,7,33,1,5,0,0,6,13,1,2,17,125,31,16,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11496376533643499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09552956718175563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078660240880836,0.0,0.0,0.20995792435480315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07404175060979137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07582969179421573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031821507826324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09765574279453344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05998251312024515,0.0,0.06524811008655264,0.0962956183909702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102845540253779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198298670751272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09760577261160887,0.0,0.0,0.07663532303526263,0.0,0.11534020501133672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09163875972507274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0885471130531822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12226691911309795,0.07779696497844117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21706159771786207,0.0,0.0,0.11680114973336825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4647678563651218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12904915640850811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09168592661716116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08632143107414529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11279841181922914,0.0,0.06694554802412657,0.0,0.10882468983781364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11951931968061005,0.0,0.0,0.6322247153961082,0.0,0.06771681385659163,0.09112935537630136,0.0,0.0,0.10322630318445657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08155640661204525,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Dr_Beardsley,2020/02/20,"Cried too hard now my eyes are swollen So yeah, I got struck with hypersensitivity which followed depression on the way home yesterday. Cried for like 40 minutes non stop. Called in today. My eyes are still swollen. 

Any suggestions for post depression cry eyes? I usually get those bursted blood vessel things, but now I just got the puff. I have to be back tomorrow.",2.779545454545456,5.819249681818185,2.896121212121212,86.05418181818182,90.06060606060606,6.882424242424243,24.78181818181818,7.908726449838941,1.9635200000000004,293,12,54,7,10,89,52,66,0.21,0.74,0.05,-0.8066,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,2,1,4,6,4,0,0,4,8,2,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,4,6,1,6,5,0,14,0,2,3,0,2,2,0,0,10,29,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13275713606837536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501130815157585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19934271075092647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6433240882437751,0.0,0.0,0.33628753196863004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10199503924716878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3122725152019048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17487988363461882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19582281879594085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09537523574243263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18696798159752748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15590393261755636,0.1632136961589535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12969631577585994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18504690673459748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21500861269546168,0.0,0.0,0.15495753169831614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,HoboSnobo,2020/02/20,"Meeting with my psych today after my major manic episode last night. Just got diagnosed 2 weeks ago after antidepressants caused a manic episode or 2. Now, while On lamotrigine for 2 weeks, I have have 2 more pretty massive episodes and dissociation and even some OCD tendencies. 

I had some hypomanic episodes in the past. Never full mania. I didn’t know what they were until my psych told me about my bipolar diagnosis. 

I don’t know what to do. I either quit medication all together and just wait until I eventually kill myself due to my major depressive episodes I had before starting this journey. OR... I keep taking meds and have these manic and psychotic episodes and lull myself that way. 

It’s a lose lose situation.",6.009389312977098,8.018437458015269,6.5434274809160335,71.48201145038169,67.54961832061068,9.209465648854962,31.4206106870229,9.642632912329526,3.240358167938931,581,24,95,13,10,189,87,131,0.10099999999999999,0.872,0.027999999999999997,-0.8484,0,0,0,0,0,1,15.0,0,0,1,3,5,4,1,0,3,0,9,3,0,1,2,21,17,11,1,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,6,7,0,2,2,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,6,0,17,0,11,11,8,21,0,3,0,0,3,3,0,4,16,66,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16618273094606448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15952497381247016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1925855180675575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16146947001041467,0.19028026468748652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12382357311911933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14993858747393082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16663384208779236,0.20741013444244066,0.0,0.20605955856794925,0.15281480671461375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4194667176967408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20823927276352147,0.18885844690894785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445900631824008,0.0,0.0,0.17592989336525666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17896336005327604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1907265526497912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1993996856022591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2107265277811464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13269373782678673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14095570982093553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1777016577604747,0.17913765321031638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488066498985349,0.3007576674940909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,blooskiez,2020/02/20,"I’m about ready to give up Been manic for about a month now. Everything is falling apart in my life. From my relationship, job, family, school. I’m about to call it quits. That is all",-0.2704504504504506,1.9671733513513523,1.4852702702702736,95.39745495495498,99.27027027027029,5.709909909909912,14.274774774774775,7.1686216300943375,-0.05150090090090087,142,3,32,3,6,46,30,37,0.044000000000000004,0.8859999999999999,0.069,0.2263,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,1,1,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,9,5,1,6,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,19,4,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3387127797611432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2981193676588569,0.0,0.31270646563618343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3182062532789878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3291707797983558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2342964322827567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2647675871753488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35281418928989144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3561321721649009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3357080134422201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,zeidler1980,2020/02/20,"ketamine to calm hysterical manic episode Please, I’m looking for any ideas or experience anyone has had using ketamine to calm a hysterical manic episode.  My good friends husband is right now suffering exactly that and we can’t get any crisis team or doctors out to help.  Last time he just got arrested repeatedly and we’re just looking for a quick fix possibly.

Sorry if I’ve written like a dumbass, I’m not too familiar with Reddit.

Many thanks in advance.",5.310016806722686,7.564766152941178,6.359831932773107,71.09352941176473,69.82352941176471,9.563025210084033,36.84873949579832,9.957137785484203,4.327873949579833,373,21,60,10,7,124,66,85,0.17300000000000001,0.618,0.209,0.5574,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,1,0,0,2,5,7,0,0,3,0,4,1,0,1,1,14,13,5,0,1,6,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,3,2,2,6,8,10,0,9,0,1,2,0,6,3,0,3,6,29,3,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3086013194710393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15865465949414478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23224308759304105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2219530030938319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17530337579915353,0.0,0.11854656037083157,0.0,0.0,0.19031403896244511,0.18147369150878392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15208715354659658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2561439408096327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849548375699076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108525103306574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3810798784433077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2300422971163681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24906948208036106,0.0,0.25579711484532763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19377246410106772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2539974203678864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20890022506335407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13230796839890874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19596986492039087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bpcrossroads,2020/02/20,"Where does your stability lie on the happy-sad spectrum? Or is it more like between ecstatic and depressed? 

What’s your normal once you’ve been stabilized ?",3.4332142857142856,6.641765892857144,3.9971428571428578,78.87285714285716,86.5,7.085714285714286,28.42857142857143,8.07648339933343,2.812185714285714,127,6,20,3,4,40,27,28,0.102,0.6829999999999999,0.214,0.5569,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,1,2,1,1,2,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,1,1,13,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4395028463297821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4465488876292853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2492967094723175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4999654089396544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5434308415384123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,dshiznit92,2020/02/20,"Getting off Seroquel? So I’ve been on Seroquel for just about a year now, and honestly I hate it. I sleep so deeply and so late every day. Im talking deep to the point of hearing big banging noises in the middle of the night and not being able to get out of bed deep. And I used to wake up so easily but now I will sleep for eight or nine hours at night, wake up at about 9, and go back to sleep until almost 11. I’ve never been like this is my entire life and it’s taking a toll on me.

It has also started making me feel like I cannot process my emotions properly, I feel kind of hollow. I can’t convey when I feel really happy or frustrated or mad or irritated, I feel like a caged animal. Now several years ago I was put on Lexapro because they thought I just had regular depression, which just made me feel like nothing but in a more positive way (later discovered that when combined with adderall and undiagnosed bipolar it basically sent me into an unstoppable manic episode lol). I don’t like the way either of these medications worked with me, and I just want to know what you all have done if you’ve gone through similar situations.

I’m trying really hard not to just say fuck it and go off of them completely, I know that’s really unhealthy way to be and I don’t want to do that to my fiancé, but I hate feeling like this almost as much as I felt when I was unmedicated. Alternative responses encouraged, as my ultimate goal is to completely get away from medication but in a healthy manner.",5.964836384885079,5.6442270496688725,7.1236657576938125,75.63031359563695,66.58278145695364,10.814491624464354,32.334242306194,10.46071229359064,3.2127753798208034,1187,44,237,28,17,404,169,302,0.172,0.747,0.081,-0.9854,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,2,2,19,16,5,0,10,1,18,10,5,3,2,50,47,31,0,3,17,0,8,6,0,1,4,2,1,0,13,14,0,0,10,0,0,5,7,6,0,2,11,10,30,10,43,33,4,47,0,1,0,1,8,20,1,7,25,159,43,2,0.09843068376499826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08725286219005594,0.0,0.19712822301566826,0.0,0.0,0.07871498224484255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09247886753718848,0.07568712005177246,0.0,0.06000243122256671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064053984109476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06347964806112558,0.0,0.0847782036948992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10072876389506052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107212708277856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08293209635259123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29861706733628746,0.2812756005963813,0.0945088924068803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909975810498335,0.15427790907167496,0.0,0.11188085183929204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10478129317896803,0.08817455889681335,0.1943598441010672,0.0,0.0,0.11093853432734864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09693439615717343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10632202925633563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025004102195359,0.10818985922495347,0.0,0.11103409862572518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06952450288436729,0.288529560970173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09313749293280874,0.06570324573992199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1983171169202002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07235787814690375,0.0,0.07591581137874102,0.0,0.0,0.184741057672136,0.0,0.09444689576273728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09304881176656936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09895002392110352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18917164944468984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07827603044828907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11119865547421462,0.0,0.0,0.1106402126358412,0.29550530768291794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06966974458881478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07400762434154029,0.07911485512227201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07814296809533923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0668279731166594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08501250734001484,0.0,0.0,0.1161139350713496,0.2343890856043532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07165871008470441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12677226633585173
bipolarreddit,violinsontv,2020/02/20,"I Can’t Do Today I woke up today, having had a night’s worth of anxiety nightmares, and I already just want to cry.  I don’t think I can do anything today.  My room is a mess, my car is a mess, I stuff myself into the shower so at least I’m not a mess... it’s been a few days since I washed myself.  None of the psychs I’ve contacted have gotten back to me.  I’m off to see my primary care for my physical and if it weren’t for the fees I’d cancel.  My brain is a revolving door of all the things I’ve done wrong in life.  All I want to do is go to the liquor store to shut it off, I’ve white knuckles the past two days so hopefully my blood tests come back normal.  I have plans with my mentor this afternoon, God I hope she cancels.  I’m supposed to have dinner with my boyfriend’s Dad tonight, I don’t know how I’ll get through that.  Ugh.",0.7471418918918893,2.1085341837837848,2.824239864864868,95.4082516891892,80.13513513513513,6.138513513513514,20.21114864864865,6.9077264865688965,0.10170945945945943,644,16,159,7,16,218,108,185,0.113,0.794,0.09300000000000001,-0.5281,2,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,1,6,8,0,0,12,0,19,6,2,1,2,19,35,6,0,6,3,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,7,6,2,0,2,1,3,3,6,5,0,1,6,2,23,3,21,29,5,22,0,0,2,0,3,8,0,3,11,98,30,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865442579229623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12931819756799906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13910880879932908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2599688035994491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1887090105893708,0.0,0.0,0.1723516245409021,0.0,0.0,0.1456164381160698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18568689668115715,0.21803879111897112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17299070317339305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08831851314497795,0.0,0.09607160101498287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33579766963590496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09290216170553486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11940077666670412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15863634296651147,0.16562722889564654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613716260539573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347061820722208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13983494393555854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935149369690659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11230532243776216,0.10831656972170543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4807018395847338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1651314252803779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19941306236169812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848230774024344,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,whosthewolf,2020/02/20,"Vivid dreams and being unable to ever get out of bed til forced I may jump around a bit cause I'm pretty upset.
It's 4am, I work at 7am. I spent my whole day off, sleeping as usual. But I don't actually sleep. I have all these vivid dreams of past events that (PTSD my doctor said) make it as if I'm being so active in reality. I've tried Seroquel, and one other which I stopped from being so drowsy. I live in a separate state from family and friends, I'm about to be 29. Every time I feel like I gotta go home, I stay stubborn and don't , like I make myself suffer. I finally had a episode this past weekend that left my room destroyed. The doctor is so much god damn money for a dropout and just a plain server at a restaurant. It's more frustrating that I feel like it's not working. The only time it feels it works is if I'm COMPLETELY sedated, taking alot of my klonopins. I feel terrible for anyone around me. I just lay in bed, even if I'm invited out, I avoid at all costs. I've been this way since I moved to this new state, 3 years ago, before i self medicated with tons of illicit drugs .i just feel like this is a lost cause, my time is up from how old I am I can't do anything or have the energy though I want to so bad.

I am thankful for this thread, after staring at the wall for the past 2 hours before I came on here, it is reassuring I'm not crazy as I think and it's just me 

I am tired of fighting this though. All these waves. I'm scared of being awake and asleep.  I'm scared of being dependant on meds though I am with klonopin. I'm just so lost.
I just want help. Or to make this stop forever.
I'm going to take 25mg Seroquel now possibly half though I work in 3 hours. I'm just scared. Suicidal thoughts keep making their way, and if I fall back asleep I'll just have night terrors. 

I just want it to stop",1.355747642568474,2.869783910941482,3.119976799880259,93.28142007184557,78.84732824427479,6.455590480466995,20.71912887292321,7.285733465282438,0.34458185900314353,1419,36,335,18,34,473,196,393,0.161,0.726,0.113,-0.9682,0,1,1,0,2,0,43.0,0,0,1,7,27,23,5,6,13,0,25,9,4,8,4,63,63,29,1,7,18,0,5,4,1,2,5,1,4,1,23,15,0,6,7,3,3,6,5,16,0,2,8,9,40,7,45,47,9,56,0,3,3,0,7,19,1,9,30,196,63,7,0.0,0.0,0.07953411216222828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0722465300259589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0569880339208713,0.0,0.06706913155994793,0.14510796736338988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06266994175489556,0.06805069461484559,0.0,0.0,0.13870425338206144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08897898227377589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09321647830225684,0.0,0.16744983470211947,0.0,0.0,0.0854532071471464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05256199263349888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16684132688997458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09451634615326923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053831246136973085,0.0737231481112261,0.06866887846271759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07683275189502056,0.0,0.20604908519201215,0.17467495289545978,0.0,0.08928136400473649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0629681772873119,0.0,0.04258138667440076,0.0,0.09263883291450901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05462901557935065,0.0,0.08175306591739491,0.0,0.16052593775692933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07244264676119576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0885520690240348,0.0,0.0,0.15927087522242944,0.0,0.07196768405221599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17793793565211427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21761264430787786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09053025417650884,0.08210460483822245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08662363727153903,0.059913285191356615,0.0,0.0,0.0787150572932647,0.0,0.07648402605443985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08552254960310007,0.0,0.055227806830983266,0.06198587890805255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23340839975421696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09188116317632967,0.0,0.08291674793353186,0.0,0.0,0.09527137707512306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07752698483269774,0.0,0.2447929048548831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08502427216111738,0.0,0.0,0.06741922623333649,0.0,0.16312154924187147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08687019712210133,0.0,0.20441775084356786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08914986661842249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12255859395178313,0.0,0.0,0.07503601312401055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052223136172972334,0.3203008703756202,0.06470341658844618,0.1425732660199024,0.093674461776127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05533445029952217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08976284477253206,0.0,0.14421582317193996,0.12938485291165513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09099397739885244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23733745895827385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052484561058535634
bipolarreddit,Illicit888,2020/02/20,"HELP I need encouragement I want to give some of my history, I’m bipolar and was diagnosed since I was around 14. SWIM has experimented with psychedelics, and they have told me as likeminded hippies that SSRIs, Antipsychotics, and MAOIs damage your pineal gland and literally lower your intelligence. I’m prescribed olanzapine, I need to know a science backed natural remedy or study to refute this claim, I know I need my medication but haven’t been on them for years and don’t want to make myself worse by taking them. I’m confused, broken, and lost. Please help in any way possible. Thank you in advanced.",6.425909090909091,8.239457363636369,6.507045454545459,72.90056818181819,66.27272727272727,10.227272727272727,31.022727272727273,10.411451182825502,3.4540000000000006,490,19,84,13,8,156,80,110,0.146,0.66,0.19399999999999998,0.2303,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,3,3,2,2,5,0,1,1,0,7,4,0,1,0,20,23,9,0,5,2,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,8,0,0,2,1,0,2,2,3,0,0,5,0,16,2,13,18,1,9,0,2,0,0,11,4,0,3,2,49,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378952763963734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18051447262363274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559229543462399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.205814331169722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1983547624559092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1945221232724988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2718342243071808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22288181224387196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22135498965085185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13535518564979046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20427643928368866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4510696069319383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22258819328603754,0.0,0.2286005381535741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16773918468207555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15246302704589992,0.0,0.0,0.18668976739147844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937620611540988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2392061923443251,0.16095490077636013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20664703109162955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305817045405698
bipolarreddit,cinnamonmintmint,2020/02/20,Tms pros/cons Going to my consult next week. Any insight?,0.5881818181818161,2.873626454545456,1.5731818181818191,93.57977272727274,102.63636363636364,2.2,23.681818181818183,3.1291,0.024599999999999955,45,2,8,0,2,14,11,11,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,1,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4250278932015241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35520730279506085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6647046949425162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5013449217485985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,HiramAbiffs,2020/02/20,"The Universe Has Books For You! Five Randomised Digital Books To Assist You On Your Spiritual Path! Be Blessed! If you enjoy occult, philosophical and ancient books then be sure to find my magic bookstore, randomised!

(No such thing as coincidence!) A selection of 5 books digitally (limited to one purchase per person) of which the Universe is attracted to give you! If you are interested visit: [https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/765879984/magick-books-for-sale-collection-of?ref=shop\_home\_active\_1](https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/765879984/magick-books-for-sale-collection-of?ref=shop_home_active_1)

Be blessed!

Hiram Abiff",17.960416666666667,24.681333097222232,10.802222222222225,31.86500000000001,51.361111111111114,8.755555555555556,34.388888888888886,9.150863307647796,4.4381555555555545,541,19,47,10,9,142,54,72,0.0,0.759,0.24100000000000002,0.9654,0,0,0,0,0,0,53.0,0,6,0,1,1,6,0,0,3,0,6,0,0,0,1,6,7,5,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,1,4,1,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,7,6,9,4,0,4,2,0,0,0,9,1,0,2,2,35,9,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44041094350990295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4622436345122709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3265205346448133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42074121531799735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4541469691189405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3201261061170785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,errantpea,2020/02/20,"Just tired. Having a mental illness is hard. Working full time is hard. Being a stepparent is hard. I feel like everything is a compromise. If I can help support this family financially, I can't be there emotionally. If want to do well at my job, I can't sleep through night. If I want to put in the work to stay stable - meds, exercise, vitamins, nutrition, therapy - I dont have any energy leftover to enjoy life. I love my husband to death, but when I wake up in the morning I just think about when I can lie down again and watch tv reruns that soothe me. My heart is pounding, I have hives all over my skin, I have stomach problems. I know I gotta stay positive and push through. I'm just tired.",1.8660123329907528,4.104069892086333,3.562718396711201,87.20354316546766,80.29496402877697,7.424665981500514,25.03648509763617,8.418075326091056,1.780236998972251,541,21,112,12,14,180,92,139,0.134,0.696,0.17,0.624,2,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,2,10,6,0,0,5,0,17,12,5,0,1,16,26,8,1,6,7,1,5,1,0,1,6,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,2,0,2,3,1,1,0,0,6,19,5,14,23,2,16,0,0,1,1,3,7,0,3,6,73,21,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10616395017455728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18296630111019085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17560901879336746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403066200100839,0.0,0.14717187814150678,0.0,0.07893672973859231,0.1115290040069926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4195466956252167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849977180504087,0.10464098480840334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549206275401772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08579704188654774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102690534740186,0.07627018836886684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14090040921908675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17340921946918156,0.0,0.15732778933619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465038995041561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493815294874787,0.0,0.15693928077643213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1562283282530348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.332796880227614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1771581140408418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17853177527819108,0.0,0.0,0.10003256220104366,0.0,0.0,0.0910322521554664,0.35886379528157625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1841620318631624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403666582455567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22730800815222185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ephemeral_loophole,2020/02/21,"Brace For Supply Chain Disruptions Many of the precursors to the meds we rely on come from china and there is speculation that if things don't improve the impact will be felt mid to late march. Nothing may happen, but it's better to be prepared. 

If you can, work with your provider to gather a stash of the meds you need. I personally have and extra 3 months worth of my antipsychotics and mood stabilizer.",8.136038961038963,7.556109064935068,7.701915584415584,74.13001623376627,62.24675324675325,10.816883116883119,32.23701298701299,10.125756701596842,2.9877558441558447,326,10,60,6,4,103,63,77,0.043,0.8490000000000001,0.10800000000000001,0.7308,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,1,3,0,2,1,2,0,0,5,0,8,0,0,0,0,12,12,6,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,6,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,6,1,11,7,1,6,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,3,3,41,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2338363329612525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22775331117998984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25386114175637564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23380406655423744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29824963908861307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26805553743490595,0.0,0.0,0.5873675913005336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21103796479279294,0.0,0.0,0.19604591233853333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536946120419075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308599514854776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17565262122363395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19248307218091812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,_Thrive_Alive_,2020/02/21,"I know this isn’t really a place for relationship advice, but since it has to do with my being bipolar I figured I’d ask here. At what point should you tell your partner that you are bipolar? I have been in a relationship with my partner for sometime...and everything has been going very well comparatively speaking. Probably because they are so sweet and understanding about things...

We’ve had a few chats about mental health struggles prompted by the fact that I do have some fairly extensive old scarring...and also just the typical deep talks people have about life and self development.  

I’ve been more open and honest about my life with this person then I ever have in any other relationship...Our bond is something that I’ve legitimately never experienced before, it transcends all the weird stuff that comes with being bipolar. I love them no matter what state of mind I’m in. 

That said I haven’t come right out and told them straight up that I’m bipolar...

I met them at the start of one of my so called “happy manic” phases, where I have shit loads of energy but for some reason my irritability and rage isn’t also super active, so basically I was like the best version of myself.

Since then I’ve been kind of all over the map emotionally but I’ve never let my partner see the seriously bad(can’t get out of bed,shower,or eat) side of myself. 

I don’t want to keep things from them, but I also don’t want to drop a bomb on what they probably see as a fairly comfortable relationship. I know they would support me and wouldn’t decide to leave me if I fessed up, but I just don’t want to burden them. 

My question is do I have to tell them? And if I should then when is the right time? What phase were you in when you told your partner? And what advice could you give me to make breaking the news easier?",5.430825224781376,6.223893728045329,5.972989284394632,79.57537011947285,67.81019830028329,8.632048281808105,27.24584308412366,8.716276077567194,1.8650375415691585,1438,42,278,22,23,466,178,353,0.092,0.736,0.172,0.9871,1,0,1,0,0,0,39.0,0,7,9,2,18,17,2,1,14,0,37,10,1,2,6,54,62,27,0,10,9,0,0,1,4,4,7,2,0,6,19,17,1,1,7,1,0,3,10,6,1,1,11,6,45,11,41,43,8,39,0,0,2,1,39,22,1,5,12,199,64,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1938663002319328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23798093498578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06745665858804448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09273483792231738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08282448835555893,0.06046894028953841,0.0,0.08440846110483975,0.0,0.10410004661814576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10129017226023014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17089708293384578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07919990735844147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10150223771883164,0.0,0.1115821105586991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08972843050071265,0.0,0.0,0.0891509382243292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0518257981749987,0.09515780960978262,0.056375353561243964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10559595055736146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054406734540697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08816993253452543,0.0,0.10329733410680912,0.10903101764561178,0.0,0.0,0.10503420543496042,0.0,0.1014345961679542,0.1401300889952442,0.04846213850167663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08952823236117237,0.0,0.06621407770527102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999662027855343,0.0,0.10015964826687147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15301208873571315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10408947996534344,0.0,0.06721775390633476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06876999302350692,0.08661409151574963,0.10363867188986477,0.0,0.09377225102520598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.213900058014785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111221842031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06354747600317384,0.10198997431454364,0.0,0.4259973785628147,0.0,0.16942562626802382,0.09435807950028724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580926842266823,0.0,0.10348302657901266,0.0,0.1018232338160716,0.16411185660067024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07636590105427413,0.0,0.0,0.07021141543251319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10370116162161098,0.11355564886767673,0.0,0.11256640691407607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07972996015209638,0.1734032933893616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318027844305614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05784196560183881,0.0,0.0,0.1895719933004404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10326649914389467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08184706075386126,0.17552505282416198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08918908656701856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07046596831447853,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,idfkwtfev,2020/02/21,"I don't know tldr: i don't know if i'm bipolar. 

so i know "" self diagnosing"" isn't great, and there are other ways to do it, last week i was extremely irritated. mad from wake up to sleep, didn't want to eat, didnt  want my family around or hugs or affection, only to be left the F\*\*\* alone. and today I'm happy, wanting to bike 10 miles. clean the house great mood. like GREAT. i can do anythign today. lose weight, clean my house, be the perfect me that i want to be. 

​

I say all this to ask how do i know if i'm bipolar or experiencing anxiety or depressive swings htat are normal? ( i am diagnosed with depression and gad) i don't want to ask my therapist and sound like a hypochondriac, but i also don't want ot have an unacknowledged issues, that caused me to for the first time ever in my life die. was it my  depression swinging hard? should i make an appointment with my therapist? how do i ask her if so? what do i say?",1.1796875,3.350374260416668,3.211291666666664,89.13787500000002,82.4375,7.173333333333334,21.058333333333334,8.238735603445708,1.103765833333334,726,22,160,16,20,245,106,192,0.185,0.718,0.09699999999999999,-0.9209,0,1,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,0,3,8,14,1,0,7,0,23,10,2,5,3,35,40,17,1,11,8,0,2,2,0,1,5,3,2,1,7,7,2,0,4,1,0,0,7,5,0,1,4,6,23,8,16,32,1,13,0,4,0,1,7,5,0,7,9,97,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10834890142215524,0.0,0.0836600462082447,0.0,0.11334958867814615,0.1271178680978035,0.0,0.0,0.08002968022460685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093128938016371,0.2934008450526869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10746773978145918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27031252131287714,0.21236269659496032,0.10857316365220816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10704658209244908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09462965563604632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09862108495999576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08898490023300924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3460130222365331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11136390530897254,0.0937138961519911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2414217944807941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10919018648037816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22997321129717044,0.08527464602504094,0.0,0.0,0.11366378148911165,0.0,0.07389219889321012,0.10221855998614883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117036681980944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06983088121059293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024998369470504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07956391615991623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16638703681422473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10913556734139043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10468988660310716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2429306130535871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061001460246990186,0.0,0.1983243154164631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37022547283087415,0.08303799002911844,0.08391530960338194,0.1273920772282872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271178680978035,0.0
bipolarreddit,imoangonzo,2020/02/21,"I feel lost and stuck and need advice. Please help me. 

I’m 25, have been diagnosed with depression, BPD, and Bipolar II, and have been in and out of college since dropping out of high school in 2011. I have attempted 104ish credit hours and have passed 48 credit hours. I have dropped whole semesters multiple times. Sometimes I find a little job for a few months but I can’t hold them for long. And I find it impossible to work and go to school simultaneously. My semesters and jobs are usually abruptly ended when I have a meltdown and end up in the hospital for self harm or suicide attempts. I have been 6 times already during this time period. 

However, when I am doing well, I excel in everything I do. When I worked, I worked my butt off. I got promoted to supervisor at a job once when I was 19. I took on a lot of responsibilities and dealt with people with ease. When I have had stable semesters, I took honors courses. I got straight A’s. I did better than most and got recognized for it by my professors. Just like in grade school, middle school, high school... they all hyped me up. I hyped myself up. Everyone including myself believed I was capable of achieving great things. But then the crash happens. And it feels like the low times overshadow anything good I’ve ever done, and none of those things even matter anymore. 

I am in a lot of debt already from school loans and credit cards, and after all this time, I’m barely halfway towards a degree that I’m not even sure about. I am lucky to have parents that support me. But I feel like a failure. I’m still at home, I have no friends, no partner, no money, no job. But I am attempting school again this semester. I’ve gotten through a month already. But barely. I’m a first generation student, so i haven’t had much guidance. I’ve kinda been figuring things out on my own as I go. But I have no idea what I’m doing. I feel like all this time, being isolated has really fucked with my perception of reality. 

I am seeing a therapist every other week and am taking 450mg Wellbutrin and 40mg Viibryd. I’m not suicidal but I don’t feel great. 

I feel like as time progresses, my mental illness worsens. Like it’s eating away at me and one day there won’t be much left. I’ve recently been dealing with a numbing sensation of my senses, and it feels like my IQ has lowered. I’m not as sharp and fast learning and as witty as I used to be. I used to be a human encyclopedia but now i struggle with writing sentences, spelling, basic multiplication... I have horrible memory now. Knowledge does not stick. I can’t concentrate on anything. I feel useless. 

My social and family life and complete lack of care about anything at all is a whole entire issue on its own. I’m just hoping I can push through this semester for now with a passing grade. Usually I would have dropped by now because I’m getting less than stellar grades.

I don’t know what to do anymore. I just want to get a degree already, find a job, and be independent. My current major is genetics but I feel like it would be hard to find work considering graduate school is out of the question. I like science and animals and that is all I know. 

Who do I turn to? What do I do? What can I study that will give me better chances at having a simple and stable life? Should i stop trying? Is disability an option? This is my last year on my parents’ health insurance and I’m scared. I feel pathetic. If I didn’t have my parents I would truly not know what to do with myself. 

Is anyone else in this situation? I feel pretty alone in this.",2.4280500093301,4.739084582260375,3.9422715680786236,84.84187908191832,78.71387696709586,6.913404242084964,25.724140075884804,7.992112574973238,1.6852178515892269,2789,109,543,50,69,923,311,699,0.13,0.6970000000000001,0.17300000000000001,0.986,12,1,0,0,0,1,90.0,0,0,2,16,23,35,1,2,24,0,70,10,1,3,7,112,120,52,2,9,19,3,13,9,2,6,7,0,1,3,30,41,1,2,24,0,6,7,18,9,1,2,20,14,78,26,77,88,19,86,0,4,1,2,16,35,2,10,50,370,108,31,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05058644630970286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0536153528690632,0.2285061914541558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10267858357398164,0.03619692834702366,0.05304175824414944,0.12780033187721987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048637120770397085,0.0,0.0,0.03155689047247329,0.0,0.0,0.05832406583491305,0.0,0.09156801224140593,0.0,0.0,0.06519915355220372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052780254071184585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05427707192747696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03338565221908353,0.05336985528181856,0.04458713478674477,0.052542761231155435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04530194879934432,0.052975962888459655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05297091338242416,0.043244970609112025,0.0,0.09170099719889413,0.0,0.0,0.06838368075503587,0.0468265235014843,0.04361621734199077,0.049465912587403335,0.04652514794525208,0.0,0.04880164174307743,0.0,0.2879263524452577,0.22189559172214451,0.0,0.0,0.18925764663424047,0.044033273650115716,0.0,0.0,0.039995319097624764,0.047858072413732584,0.05409259791311037,0.04965995039896373,0.05884114552564496,0.043419989389032285,0.12420921445403407,0.11414735200203445,0.0,0.0,0.04577768851660114,0.0,0.046373369226393776,0.0,0.0,0.055026262534148655,0.0,0.0,0.034698557338192194,0.1093900755861814,0.051926863686337234,0.051416650023187536,0.10196080592803708,0.0,0.0,0.058439026635411985,0.0,0.05403165423131096,0.2568554896255079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08534993003358794,0.04219729205747291,0.0,0.0,0.056245367262438006,0.0,0.07312960751663622,0.2276181706662785,0.05188447526295133,0.0,0.0458124675962248,0.0,0.0,0.05651016769555552,0.08802148388304575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052169303730926035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0826403950952736,0.0,0.07610990384815057,0.03838482727119023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055130528462530734,0.03507888988414852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17244451716301182,0.0,0.0,0.035888956003600016,0.0,0.0,0.05682499477190485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052665996301709005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05799126922298504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03316348410327979,0.0,0.05111400379423408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051828139039359636,0.4191305010328319,0.04125186828769215,0.0,0.054004626505401485,0.0,0.0,0.042822479269390944,0.058188660040283,0.0,0.05277028474382543,0.0,0.0,0.05119922375145995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04134146524380215,0.043279814907683886,0.0,0.05411846451239355,0.0,0.11325013733986415,0.05874496488376405,0.04879010607486819,0.0,0.03892259776626485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06010587265125054,0.10317576293697237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.211301669109606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150308408213025,0.035146626314479505,0.05630800143833585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08942072273598854,0.11402882454123005,0.0,0.030533718857014936,0.0,0.04152463824226668,0.0,0.04654505639852066,0.0,0.0,0.11559277459862205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15074896263145132,0.0,0.0,0.11032210090780208,0.0,0.0,0.033336470224585635
bipolarreddit,Kitkat1025,2020/02/21,I am really struggling tonight. To be honest with you...I am really struggling tonight. I am struggling to feel my worth. I am struggling to do anything. I cannot stop crying. I am just struggling.  I am struggling to keep my head up. I am struggling to not just run away from everything. I am really hurting tonight. I hate this.,0.5726839826839836,2.925890857142861,2.002366522366522,90.90753246753248,100.74603174603176,4.830591630591631,26.36219336219337,6.574015621080383,1.4960920634920636,256,13,48,4,11,82,30,63,0.37,0.505,0.125,-0.9636,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,2,10,1,7,0,0,11,1,1,0,0,7,14,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,1,1,2,9,0,0,0,1,11,1,9,13,0,7,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,35,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10149507115414304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11587829141320115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354788740821778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11084650090808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06236241942127095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12176882813098362,0.12657838336587882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320338066232302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10962675998048547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23703672098550155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103114471513587,0.0,0.9025634271906444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,IcicleBoner,2020/02/21,"Low libido due to bipolar I'm frustrated. I (22F) have always had a pretty normal sex drive, but for the past year or so since I've been on and off meds for bipolar, I've struggled with low libido. Like I just about don't want to do anything. I can barely stand being touched anywhere sexual and the thought of touching someone else sexually makes me super uncomfortable. This is unfortunate for my boyfriend (22M) who has a fairly high sex drive. We've been dating for 3.5 years so he's seen my descent into not wanting to do anything and I can tell he's pretty fed up. He tries to be patient but when he's in the mood he can get very frustrated and whiny that he's not getting any. Sometimes he even gets mad. I feel awful for not wanting to help him out and then I usually end up doing it anyway because I feel guilty for not satisfying his needs and then I end up feeling really gross and, in the most recent instance, crying in the shower for an hour.

I get that this is hard for him, but it just sucks. 

I'm tired.",2.87096436651584,4.480621927884613,4.215418552036201,86.63252262443442,74.91346153846153,6.624886877828053,25.21606334841629,7.285733465282438,1.113337330316742,803,27,164,9,17,265,127,208,0.24600000000000002,0.6829999999999999,0.07,-0.9912,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,1,8,11,4,1,8,1,16,6,0,1,0,31,34,16,0,5,10,0,6,1,0,0,3,0,1,0,7,10,1,0,4,0,0,2,5,8,0,0,6,7,15,2,26,26,1,29,0,2,1,2,13,13,1,2,14,97,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12701283610165998,0.0,0.0,0.10380380823937872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25122759424322155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09305095173163763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16767332255353815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127515278360352,0.0,0.2703962569297015,0.0,0.0,0.10082055744242416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.231545637008302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3190027687830817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367399029787988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10231470007635796,0.16127778261563594,0.0,0.0,0.15032453909241358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07457461779451126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018916971094006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16955414088419232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11318430479563132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14955965267680932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457168878900212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31058960540131075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09778827103510117,0.0,0.15071848425676804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262694895430503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293355805280875,0.0,0.15096977004594658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15957765653513056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13341842445080873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12118304882405508,0.0,0.17544292826432473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10363590898068026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16811685957551464,0.12594807951184775,0.2701018595634285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.196596701089857
bipolarreddit,vtgorilla,2020/02/21,"Career Advice Question | I want a new job mostly due to boredom Hi friends, I was diagnosed as Bipolar 2 last summer and I'm curious to hear from my peers with mood disorders to see how reasonable my intentions to get a new job are.

Despite the bp2 (or perhaps because of it), I have a successful 10 year career in IT. My current job is stable, pays well, and I like my coworkers...but I'm bored out of my mind and there's no more room for growth. They gave me the best possible annual review, but imo a terrible raise/bonus that didn't grow with my responsibilities over the last two years.

So I immediately started looking for a new job. Despite proper medication and general stability, this has flung me back and forth mood wise. I don't trust my own assessment of my situation because my opinions keep changing. I don't know how to make a decision with such lasting effects when I know my thoughts about it will be different in 3 days.

The jobs I've interviewed for so far haven't thrilled me, so I wouldn't take them even if offered. It makes me wonder if I just haven't hit the right job yet, or if my current job really isn't that bad. I don't know what to think and I feel like I'm swirling...all I've really accomplished so far is to stress myself out.

I don't know if my boredom is due to the bp2, because I'm generally bored in life as well ever since I achieved ""stability"". So I don't know if a new job will really solve my problem. Maybe I need to value job stability more at this point in my life, even if it's detrimental to my long term career goals?

I don't even know what question to ask you guys. How do I decide if I should get a new job, I guess?

tl;dr I'm bored and want a new job but I don't know if it will solve a problem that might be cause by bipolar.",3.22219512195122,4.278912628726289,4.8977235772357774,84.29016260162604,73.11924119241192,8.501897018970189,27.758807588075882,8.94667605116694,2.020988075880759,1396,52,303,28,27,474,177,369,0.099,0.7759999999999999,0.125,0.6739,14,0,0,0,0,0,41.0,0,1,2,6,21,20,0,1,16,0,27,6,0,9,1,65,60,30,0,15,13,0,1,2,1,6,6,1,1,1,13,12,0,1,17,0,1,2,13,8,2,1,4,4,44,10,33,47,6,40,0,0,2,0,13,13,0,17,27,179,57,21,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06304581719900877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06031521345004873,0.0,0.0,0.04961002456491698,0.05386947134410623,0.1179879252191166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06770720338340548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06627731078363819,0.06825102837416523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04160849161033675,0.0,0.0,0.06548396974616517,0.0,0.06740712289757944,0.0739427183016525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12783972834983742,0.058359830668188485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032622019078726465,0.046091360873399614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04984611018547126,0.0,0.06741552903263172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07107337092229946,0.06388253215812689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07271598403283103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7042610014937603,0.05734617561041189,0.0,0.0,0.2482001626635688,0.157771278005647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911413274437658,0.06304004608112883,0.0,0.0,0.05709601421345754,0.05417850490259308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08613195040114291,0.0,0.06481656515444519,0.0,0.0,0.06499465850546816,0.0,0.06844294016485096,0.06514434811822002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04783895647737586,0.0,0.37386879418722224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060989952244427374,0.07273385987908293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12346919161935815,0.0,0.0,0.14454887525354984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239948113961452,0.06633480155213889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05509764744951783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05141214568149218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053369595948639034,0.07252044552596477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045665864127454686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07390465199773041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04850917909234124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04134025013986515,0.0,0.051219739423742514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06302428561560422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07610826210957053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11601807722381295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06996654641853953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08309439231892826
bipolarreddit,darkside889,2020/02/22,"Breaking up with my boyfriend I'm in a manic episode now and the thought of breaking up with my boyfriend and living sings doesn't want to leave my head, I've been cold to him for days now and we are long distance which is making it way harder I don't know what to do, I don't even want to live anymore",3.9472727272727286,3.7873038787878777,4.075303030303028,95.23295454545456,70.81818181818181,6.6000000000000005,28.62121212121212,3.1291,0.5822848484848486,240,8,58,0,4,74,46,66,0.042,0.9390000000000001,0.02,-0.0762,0,0,0,0,0,1,2.0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,7,1,1,1,0,11,13,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,1,7,0,11,11,0,10,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,4,36,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2948699822887262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19175228827432467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.196382673301552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30514482528296666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16340397047007538,0.0,0.0,0.3148279558213015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.525093034240145,0.2631263704367013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1984690858013072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360456209587113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3507441113887117,0.23600552767129065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,iamanormalhumangirl,2020/02/22,"Menstrual Psychosis? A few nights ago I experienced light psychotic features, hearing some voices and paranoid delusions.  In retrospect I think I was having paranoid delusions for a couple of days and hallucinated one of those days. The day I hallucinated was the day the paranoid delusions were the worst. When I was back in reality I was concerned because I've never had this happen outside of an episode. 

The only thing I could think of was I was PMSing and I did some searching and learned menstrual psychosis exists. Has this happened to anyone else? I've not (that I'm aware of I guess) experienced this when PMSing before, only when manic. I can't think of why i would not experience these symptoms my whole adult life until now.

I have an appointment to go into my dr next week but this concerns me and I want to know if anyone else has dealt with it.",3.5877573529411784,6.4124049375000025,4.674338235294119,78.31330882352941,77.75,7.014705882352942,28.161764705882355,8.124751697461798,2.3319595588235296,690,30,116,13,17,225,95,160,0.052000000000000005,0.938,0.01,-0.6072,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,9,0,16,3,0,0,1,23,27,11,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,1,9,7,0,0,5,0,0,1,4,1,0,1,9,5,17,0,15,16,5,19,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,4,15,87,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13713846068131405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21634952561333265,0.31703129955673154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11896016791624332,0.0,0.09430797854029616,0.0,0.13164430036938915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12352098660550813,0.17118040244007554,0.0,0.3990929810752489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25847576862729044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513331757192333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08792357875626977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17042725161779684,0.0,0.27361385748788064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17436608319798608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08502294585546061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10927416093729403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193196102974379,0.0,0.16453269720403182,0.1451820813545873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10483349737191036,0.2353233577965417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16079985576397735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10278048619763196,0.2973900824360188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912502233144492,0.0,0.12409665951280024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13959904474474985,0.17272489055550702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10989944582793944,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,perth1985,2020/02/22,"Homeopathy for Anxiety and Depression  

Hello Folks

I am just curious if any of the members have had success in using homeopathy for psychiatric illness.

I have heard of many cases in India where patients were able to stop their medication or reduce it substantially using [homeopathy.](https://homeopathy.one/)

One of the successful psychiatrist is Dr.Mahesh Gandhi,who left allopathy and became homeopath as he felt the medications were drugging his patients.

It would be great to know about the experiences in the west.",10.058112449799195,12.73475989156627,8.997771084337348,55.19175702811248,58.518072289156635,12.280321285140564,39.13453815261044,11.855464076750405,5.895282730923697,433,21,53,14,6,135,65,83,0.10800000000000001,0.746,0.146,0.6808,0,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,2,3,4,0,0,5,0,9,4,0,2,0,11,14,5,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,2,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,5,2,4,3,12,7,0,7,0,1,0,0,5,6,0,2,1,39,6,2,0.23284193027151945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15834049707464135,0.0,0.17812343934132324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20054641335623705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2700227166945816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277640866690128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22356476755134064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.256709050128574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12796383553468738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25298343852629906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360651713092651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4691274970702001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15777971794850065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1946662796784634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4022013370044198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16540422670354368,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Sadgirlsclubxx,2020/02/22,"I’ve been on Zoloft for 4 days and I’m manic as shit Does anyone else have experience with being bi polar and on Zoloft? I hear mixed things? I’m insanely manic right now, is that going to stop? Is Zoloft a good fit for people with Bi polar? I also have cptsd",-0.1172467532467536,2.1355376909090964,2.277922077922078,92.72545454545455,90.27272727272728,4.5974025974025965,11.49350649350649,6.1826913282559595,-1.002012987012987,203,2,44,2,7,69,39,55,0.12,0.7829999999999999,0.096,-0.3313,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,1,0,6,6,1,0,0,5,10,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,1,8,8,0,8,0,0,0,2,1,4,1,0,3,23,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2442990282630388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.213604649206058,0.3130090502263764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19701479811778486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26733502878650817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25519642684391514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29882635352312964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736161440052341,0.2562292444557005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3443077208452624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21178724846554506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2608854940162005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3135795362433489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25540204937911803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2029529728547768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,thisisprivateforme,2020/02/22,"Major issues after starting seroquel I just got prescribed seroquel wednesday, 25mg at night for insomnia and mood swings (mania/depression)-- not quite a bipolar diagnosis yet. My doctor wanted me off trazodone and Cymbalta started giving me sides after 5 days. I'm also taking Viberzi for IBS-D.

I could tell the first night Seroquel wasn't going to work well for me. I cannot sleep AT ALL with this medication. It takes me to the point of sleep and drops me where my mind will not rest and cycles over and over all night. Like it was conscious anaesthesia-- aware of everything. I doubled the dose on the 3rd night and it was even worse sleep than the previous two, plus the following morning I RAGED at the slightest thing.

I emailed my doctor and did not take it last night.

Do you think seroquel is just not for me?",5.053430107526879,6.907418251612906,4.9016935483870965,82.92587365591397,69.70967741935485,7.489247311827956,29.045698924731184,8.07648339933343,1.9896344086021505,659,25,119,9,12,203,100,155,0.046,0.9079999999999999,0.047,-0.2103,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,0,3,7,4,1,0,8,0,9,9,3,0,2,22,21,9,0,2,6,0,0,1,0,1,6,0,0,0,6,9,0,0,2,0,0,2,6,1,1,2,5,0,16,2,20,14,5,27,0,0,0,0,4,10,0,0,15,83,22,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10328926854795853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10312381326607074,0.0,0.0,0.0832975658372215,0.0,0.11124538682125808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26440162776724513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0853090140714421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160807507555858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10986349725413844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12390211701379747,0.07340464941640862,0.0,0.10330111420997808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13480956568085165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10528270318770792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06310109049374654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13011519130825674,0.0,0.0,0.1304148604356579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6060399231996711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122098022924414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13737764269263916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3877600707279315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18284033746252326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2913369158148024,0.0,0.112891602046175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08580821735087986,0.08276056339656272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261706295333583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07618196104294146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11613042256328256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09403007583380724,0.0,0.13162515500101366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,YedZeppelin,2020/02/22,"How to rehabilitate properly to go into the work force after being diagnosed BP disorder? I'm a couple months shy of 27 and was only medicated when I was 14-15. From 18, it took me 6 1/2 years (with a year off) to finish a 4 year degree at 25. Addiction was in my life, but I felt ultimately had helped me pawn off alot of the anxiety I was having. However, over the years I became more and more clean. But around graduation,I was having panic attacks and decided that I wasn't going to walk, it seemed too dramatized and a waste of time. However, I did have a ticket to see Robert Plant live for the first time a couple months after my graduation date, so that was my celebratory reward for myself. 

I'd always worked a job since I was 16, mostly in retail until I got into community college. There I ended up being a supporting instructor for English and math classes, and I ran with it and tutoring for a long while. Addiction was in my life and I wasn't fully ""present"" even though I was able to hold multiple jobs. I ended up not working my last couple years of school to focus on my studies and did exceptionally well. However, I wasn't building relationships with the people I was surrounded by, I was not able to get myself involved in really any of the activities. I was keeping to my myself with some friends not school associated and had relationships.

After looking for jobs, I wasn't able to really land anything in my area and the stress of the struggle drove me nearly quite insane. I ended up having a bad bipolar break after being put on steroids by my PCP had an allergic reaction and was hospitalized. I almost had a heart attack while being inpatient for 2 weeks. When I got out, the large dosage of medication they had me on was way too much and caused my condition to get a great deal worse.

After 6 months I picked up a retail job that I was overqualified for, and had ongoing depression. Quit my job, ended up going back to school for a certificate and ended up having a severe manic episode that led to a 30 day inpatient. This was 2 months ago, since then I've been rehabilitating the best I can. The medicine I'm on this time seems to be working, even though there's an underlying depression since I'm so far off path where I'd like to be. It's difficult to engage in what's left of old relationships and anxiety is so bad sometimes, forming new ones seems almost impossible at times.

Recently I was applying to part time jobs for the hell of it which actually reaped responses, helping my self esteem and even a phone interview. I nearly cried before it I was so nervous, but it was simple and I totally had over-prepared. It's hard for me to accept that I'm at the spot I'm at, but I know that if I practice getting into the workforce and build confidence, then I'll get on the high horse quicker than before. Sometimes I forget that I'm not alone in this struggle and ultimately wanted to share.",6.924878820405624,6.4932914308231195,8.001954691825322,70.49942489124909,64.63922942206655,11.290684142138865,33.13038811366589,10.807276698888538,3.5479385458448665,2321,84,430,56,31,794,264,571,0.146,0.764,0.09,-0.9855,9,1,0,0,0,0,55.0,0,0,1,9,20,23,3,5,35,0,46,10,1,4,1,60,74,39,0,2,10,0,2,1,1,0,9,0,1,1,20,29,0,2,7,1,2,9,8,13,1,2,39,4,52,10,87,29,10,96,1,2,2,0,13,41,1,9,45,303,72,20,0.18784629438829772,0.0,0.061103628723082073,0.13652012535845662,0.0,0.0,0.05550480199279457,0.0,0.12540061965924948,0.06485070316933565,0.0,0.0,0.05210105499465341,0.0,0.0,0.0425806405693168,0.0,0.09580126736608664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05152716491333231,0.05574100924423568,0.0,0.14246818549215776,0.0,0.04814740177494466,0.10456253964618012,0.0,0.0,0.1065622406607416,0.0,0.0657110322550426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06432329632667337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20784835184702996,0.06878011126769873,0.040381773248082856,0.06455376040374255,0.10786115873517957,0.06355334489022968,0.0,0.0,0.07176270920290713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2772934351565647,0.0,0.0,0.1240707058228748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0601206336151579,0.0,0.0,0.0532606540151207,0.0,0.0,0.04837652702383948,0.0,0.13085591433066845,0.0,0.10675737802042257,0.0,0.10015856113859256,0.06903373423959105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05609112766649621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0741995877649257,0.0839396076656874,0.06615664116615366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3728169240433292,0.055655472489396736,0.0,0.0,0.034411803596935464,0.051039933812464994,0.0,0.0,0.06803184949457497,0.0,0.0884542620009107,0.03059073698509682,0.0,0.055290573149505785,0.055412686451829236,0.05258119232933549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12615691944249038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19991616003007207,0.0,0.04602954674901623,0.0,0.0,0.06047437388818934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06570436227087181,0.0,0.042429836859273394,0.047621857186837716,0.0,0.07346571757317717,0.0,0.06780641044492347,0.0,0.04340965615820404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06294580311829671,0.0,0.13319843769291462,0.0,0.0,0.08022609750960899,0.0,0.0618251845875446,0.20167662065983125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19011047855598606,0.04989639202858421,0.17100821139768735,0.06532155093384581,0.07073761477895316,0.0,0.15538839586804484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1238565255782245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0717257651851386,0.1309184884652157,0.0,0.0,0.07105524959751316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1230386869925148,0.0,0.18255780812950015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06956804827564432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0369322037866282,0.04970121498671209,0.050226322214828166,0.0,0.056298792696040524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18233911940433226,0.0,0.06381047404652453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2016114246723015
bipolarreddit,wibble212,2020/02/22,"I am so embarrassed of myself. My behavior when I’m manic is disgusting My behavior when I’m manic is inexcusable. I make a fool out of myself. I yell at people in the street. I post attention seeking things to social media. I’ve ended so many friendships abruptly by having some sort of outburst through text or by being inappropriately sexual. I sent ex friends videos of me yelling at them and making fun of them. Usually these ex friends have done something upsetting to me, but my reaction is never justified. Ive yelled at people that I was better than them and smarter than them. I’ve told someone I was going to kill her and her family when I got in a dumb fight with her over nothing (?!?!?!) I’ve gotten in physical fights with my dad. I’ve used and abused so many recreational drug on (weed, alcohol, nicotine, mushrooms, lcd, cociane) i’ve harassed my ex boyfriend. I’ve had sex with complete strangers in public areas. The list goes on and on. My mania isn’t me being more productive or being more artistic like some other people with bipolar. It’s me being extra, an egomaniac and damaging my life and reputation. 

People cut me out of their lives all the time. I’ve been called a psycho many many times. My life is filled with people who want nothing to do with me because of my past behavior. Wtf is wrong with me?? Everyday I just think about being dead. I am ashamed of myself and my behavior. I don’t know where it comes from. It’s like a demon takes over me. The depression is equally horrible. I am horrible unproductive. I don’t do anything and I’m 18. It feels like I’ve messed up my life. 

Does anyone else embarrass themselves when their manic or ruin their lives? Not just by spending a lot of money or dying your hair or by staying up days in a row (although I’ve done that too) but by doing weird things that damage themselves socially?? What is wrong with me I feel like a freak.",2.8923983739837418,5.278203653116531,4.236768292682928,82.94344512195124,77.50948509485094,7.243631436314362,25.968157181571808,8.256446698504663,1.9257376693766928,1504,58,279,29,36,495,190,369,0.247,0.679,0.07400000000000001,-0.9978,0,0,3,0,4,0,51.0,0,1,7,1,12,29,7,4,12,0,30,8,1,3,2,45,48,24,3,1,10,4,3,4,2,0,6,3,0,0,13,20,1,0,5,2,2,4,5,21,0,0,10,6,49,8,48,33,8,39,1,4,0,1,26,20,1,9,17,189,62,0,0.0,0.1216560991530766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10973106782224472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0717945258234343,0.10520527723985927,0.08449486964968755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06259127753086165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09080994326976817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10484525200428718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08844761207910261,0.10765545089237012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06621852128986734,0.0,0.08843601780655258,0.0,0.10656307951358324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08985381029420579,0.21014955187099746,0.0,0.0,0.11907335255783105,0.0,0.08577391234316828,0.0,0.09094182727761801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967952499935663,0.0,0.103833702269873,0.14670571525913909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15865683089139931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05835401420558293,0.0,0.08212061135073169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11359748899670052,0.0,0.05642889268649408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21757255663970454,0.20065224534601495,0.0,0.1813323041926267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0872927757442982,0.0,0.0,0.13707611525044947,0.416395653136497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07919125145716159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19704374453382265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09801733352671056,0.3559184019530798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09833670402836434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20933365032682835,0.08699834945047863,0.07904618939732505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10944059974466612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07720073437322543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13642879501661884,0.06579162397069521,0.0,0.0,0.11974420271233377,0.0,0.0,0.09811279301350136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08868043064415124,0.1130848080485586,0.0,0.060561875470455336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2245235505668154,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lrraya,2020/02/22,"Seroquel XR/XL vs IR Nausea Hey guys so I have been on 100mg XR for 2 years but that made me sleep 14hrs a day. 

I got switched to IR and now I'm slowly tapering off bc it's just not my drug. 

Does anyone else have extreme nausea/vomitting the day after taking seroquel IR, like in the afternoon? its almost like I go through withdrawal every single day .\_. it's incredibly uncomfortable.

pls send help ♥",0.1183475783475778,2.4618889259259262,2.4276543209876564,88.75521367521368,98.01234567901234,5.455270655270656,19.81101614434948,7.010146845296331,0.8181426400759735,317,11,63,6,13,107,66,81,0.047,0.7909999999999999,0.162,0.8035,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,3,0,3,2,1,1,0,7,8,3,0,0,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,3,0,5,2,7,5,1,12,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,9,29,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2501279796882022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17465854072604314,0.25593873611732776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4832804520208784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2185923676584565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28967637516341205,0.0,0.2086669727308283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21045832397456565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14196105970139508,0.0,0.19977938397871056,0.0,0.0,0.2473307556763892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16742855448633415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2440689451151705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23635674876099316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24996977252379185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18781052530059647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608561695225191
bipolarreddit,damnitjackie_4,2020/02/22,"i'm a failure First, I want to say thank you to this subreddit. I have been lurking a long time, and there are so many, unfortunately, relatable posts, but also just as much inspiration and strength. I really have no one to talk to and I need to seek advice/vent, so thank you in advance for listening.

I'm just going to jump right into it. I am a senior in college with the remainder of this semester and a few incompletes from last. I am really at the home stretch. But. I. Just. Can't. Do. It. Anymore. It's been such a living hell trying to finish. I would be graduating on time this May. 

I really have no ambition. No motivation. I am depressed to the point of being suicidal, but I would never act on it. If i feel this way, what does school even matter? I'd rather be a failure. What hurts the most is that I am sooooo close. But, I think I've made my decision. I am medically withdrawing/and or dropping out. 

Someone please tell me this is not the end of the world. I am thinking about the financial sink hole I am putting myself in, and the disappointment I will be to my dad. I am just so unstable. Please please please I wish I could push a magic button to make me sane. I am losing it. I hate this. Ugh. :(",0.3730182926829251,2.7703637967479686,2.7577184959349594,88.98340701219514,89.89430894308944,6.489634146341465,20.289126016260163,7.756953410329674,1.0380735772357728,938,31,200,21,32,320,142,246,0.233,0.642,0.124,-0.9887,0,0,0,0,0,0,44.0,0,2,0,5,14,11,2,0,15,0,28,1,0,3,1,40,43,16,1,8,12,1,1,0,0,4,1,2,1,0,14,9,0,0,6,0,0,6,6,7,0,2,3,3,30,4,26,31,3,31,1,4,0,0,7,13,1,5,9,146,44,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10230561179840222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12687223009096182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10214173220009773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101859614119967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11195244561390297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133080493636341,0.0,0.0,0.08449658903766036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06468527527211469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088172320213305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07270559345578152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12630443527226085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12832426720744872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13695176046578642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10428006232232087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11296457466132533,0.11321406524302285,0.0,0.14312099856018876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12105050301887953,0.08539429929178319,0.12970098752349551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12887606271387864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09404330384306543,0.09485850832843598,0.09866753833617332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0866887102218452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5617150966188964,0.12093524438947535,0.0,0.12252162121494192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286050310375101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2458657904686234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092515605339142,0.0,0.10173510754602584,0.0,0.12947203670486784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10839471307297577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399347067547311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10282532530401872,0.11181649920265567,0.23556159736043294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16394481614775938,0.0,0.0,0.14919407755596514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08685610388224374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07545645585515393,0.10154491609163584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471132396934007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18175566878440025,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,benadrylb1tch,2020/02/22,"I finally cleaned my room today :))) Small victory, but I have been horribly deep in a depressive episode for the last 3 weeks or so. Between working and going to school full-time, I haven’t had much of a chance to eat, sleep, or just generally take care of myself like I should. One thing that has particularly giving me massive amounts of anxiety was the heaping pile of laundry that had accumulated in my room, along with just a mess from my tornado life, lol. But!! Today, I was off from school and work, so I cleaned, showered, ate, and even filed my taxes. Small victories are still victories :-)",5.323445945945949,6.804530927927928,5.7671959459459465,78.42755067567569,68.54954954954954,9.513963963963963,32.79391891891892,9.827888789773867,3.2238189189189184,467,21,88,11,8,150,78,111,0.106,0.727,0.166,0.8188,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,2,6,4,0,0,5,1,10,4,1,0,0,13,15,9,0,1,6,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,5,0,3,5,2,0,0,0,1,1,1,2,0,1,6,0,12,2,15,8,2,15,0,1,0,0,1,8,0,2,7,60,15,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16386333976618084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2183924099046354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844911887632648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21918131377001296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14147787937984754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23464695607064445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20548131937271927,0.12173548421691545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17460257564225112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512966496845425,0.10464789174722912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15746253605173896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451482838306578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.433566121440248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21435590408935895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17106136342969747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16105265265413254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14230576635196954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40607540339753695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17181929067480267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3118820647898368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,DaniErin81,2020/02/22,"Memory loss Does anyone else get complete blackout of their depressive episodes? When I try to recall memories from those times outside of a few here and there, it is like a giant ink stain wiping everything out during that time. I can't remember going to work, I can't remember my day to day. Looking back it is just black.",4.445645161290322,6.375728403225808,5.233096774193552,79.62964516129036,71.41935483870971,8.830967741935485,28.529032258064518,9.3871,2.7366670967741946,259,10,46,6,5,84,50,62,0.08199999999999999,0.875,0.042,-0.34,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,2,5,3,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,0,0,5,7,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,2,5,1,7,7,1,9,0,2,2,0,1,2,0,0,7,29,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699365801359913,0.2490193342925449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18687985611042973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548188590678877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3134765198487971,0.0,0.20932674538238613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21268263921873268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2030255811470872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21842528891784516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269763971668757,0.0,0.13812308804283516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11873522381973778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20408921965410334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5506253340939566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2834327557241537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16500564417895974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1769332671203276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Lilah_DIY,2020/02/22,"Lamictal: overly happy? So, I’ve been taking 200mg Lamictal once daily for the past couple of months. Almost every day I feel these bursts of euphoria. I’ll laugh randomly or cry because I feel so happy. I’ll also just start crying randomly at nothing, not from pain and not from happiness. It’s so uncomfortable. Like I’m grateful I’m not sad 24/7 anymore (of course I have moments/periods of sadness still!), but the constant euphoria doesn’t feel right. Like I can just tell this isn’t the real me...I shouldn’t be laughing and crying at nothing or feeling like I’m high every day lol. Is this a sign I should cut back on my dosage?",1.8726190476190503,4.384458960317462,3.653333333333337,84.90000000000002,82.41269841269842,6.457142857142857,24.079365079365076,7.7094869923839395,1.5282126984126987,503,19,94,9,14,168,81,126,0.159,0.605,0.23600000000000002,0.9322,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,0,8,12,1,0,4,1,9,1,0,0,0,21,18,9,0,2,8,0,4,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,1,4,6,8,11,14,0,14,0,2,0,0,1,6,0,5,11,50,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13967397996826025,0.0,0.0,0.11154602507013144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383315412483652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10725527910964146,0.0,0.08502870110041592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15073362524443493,0.0,0.0,0.15433739009798506,0.4596528426824564,0.17991244391174033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2350440903382357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28211102833302626,0.09964804126534613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4454528130159527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14737345633725762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20443583116962255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113355173493044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26767904919998003,0.0,0.0,0.14854686744999496,0.0,0.0,0.14842176926029002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13315412121110792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15876435466113975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191193434655488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09872813097207772,0.0,0.11139282225334478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104875286568755,0.0,0.1219159516673606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BeaKidd48,2020/02/22,"How do you keep friends? What do you do when you end up being a total ass, a drama queen, a manipulator, an overall exhausting and terrible friend? The actions that made complete sense and seemed completely appropriate when you did them make you feel horrible days later when you've burned bridges with your best friends. When my head is clear I can see my actions and have so much regret. 

It's so hard to find friends who truly accept you, including your actions when you're manic or depressed or in a crisis. If people only knew how hard we tried, how much we want to do the right thing, the good thing. If our former friends only knew how often we thought about them and how often we missed them. 

I wish my friends could see how far I've come and how much I've grown. I wish my friends could see ME.",6.277208157524616,6.144891348101268,5.894641350210973,84.06927566807316,65.89873417721519,8.7943741209564,30.846694796061893,8.167268648758528,1.9509218002812945,635,21,130,7,9,196,92,158,0.14800000000000002,0.625,0.22699999999999998,0.9371,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,5,8,3,2,17,15,0,0,8,0,11,3,2,10,2,43,27,23,0,8,4,0,3,0,7,0,1,0,0,0,6,11,0,1,7,1,0,5,0,5,0,0,5,6,24,10,6,19,5,18,0,3,3,1,24,4,1,7,9,85,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12402692293622447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10180513853567763,0.2478275633358349,0.0,0.0,0.1887207763226745,0.0,0.0,0.0762189682126584,0.0,0.10179179327405406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1046760348533256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05975743265291768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10801812750397792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6391612044799737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991272169649248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21173948208566132,0.0,0.12129098404930913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10504745946814524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11182865422342693,0.07888880533328532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2606367386805805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17976866923859833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0819339750762843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009285767644551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.282532282170166,0.10759036714039216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15703253090089944,0.0,0.0,0.09382497514110874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0802392469755091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06970804499205784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2718117678667654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,trash_goblin_supreme,2020/02/22,"WELP HERE WE GO I GUESS I think I'm on the road to a manic episode. My anxiety has been escalating for a month or two and it's all culminating to this. I've always struggled with self harm but it's been on my mind more and more and the last couple days it's been very hard to resist. I think the cause is I accidentally got pretty fucked up on weed last week and now I feel the precipice of an episode. I didn't really realize how bad it's getting til I went to therapy and my doc who is pretty even keeled said he wants me to bump up my next psychiatrist apmnt, come back and see him in 4 days, and get a safety plan in place. It's weird bc previously I've wanted to cut bc I was depressed but this time is different. TW I see in my head my arms being like dough as I cut through them. After I left his office I felt the rush while driving home and I'm still buzzing now. I've gotta keep together til Wednesday bc I'm dog sitting and a significant part of me wants to let the monster out of the cage completely. It's really hard for me to talk to my mom about it so she doesn't know how bad it is but she knows I'm in a bad place. I'm safe rn and I don't really need advice or anything I just needed to say that to someone. 

Thanks guys hope you're having a better week than me lol 💕",0.046277974087161056,1.985031890459364,2.474159010600708,94.12589104829212,85.21908127208481,5.893474676089518,18.6206124852768,7.1686216300943375,0.11165262661955257,1007,26,243,15,30,345,162,283,0.152,0.725,0.12300000000000001,-0.7885,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,1,0,1,2,11,15,3,1,14,1,15,3,2,3,1,41,46,22,0,6,6,1,4,1,0,1,0,2,1,2,12,14,0,2,7,0,0,5,3,10,0,1,9,8,31,5,34,34,4,38,0,1,2,1,14,14,1,4,19,137,43,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102235282120433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938558038696476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08628908724878799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09282198766533584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08673361985253576,0.2825413385818547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09975942289778347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11587317540700486,0.0,0.09716427981335113,0.11826508492488927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12480728811592667,0.0,0.14548894605952148,0.0,0.09715154290484902,0.0,0.0,0.1178484353520416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07450108788824245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05703334812692942,0.0,0.10830242108690988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10427863547824004,0.11786313186808747,0.0,0.06410490494003006,0.0,0.09021374203511352,0.0,0.12425816736185093,0.11168636395593852,0.0,0.0,0.2020871891225339,0.0,0.11576184937731482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11314418272145152,0.11203247090540402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10025879726952612,0.0,0.0,0.12398011861856707,0.1838885611016552,0.0,0.0,0.12255383165863835,0.11534216167554552,0.0,0.05510671925925214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11389240732653536,0.13210601004244987,0.09003316683357471,0.0,0.0,0.16727449347747225,0.0,0.0,0.1199604595603325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12214772158599545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2356968707040832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22950937860457465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21678116327572766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10729539301458246,0.08970038051155083,0.0,0.0,0.17976856647215386,0.0,0.11767144971512322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955721898036772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09007950731960004,0.0,0.0,0.11791949296960436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906616312546944,0.0,0.1038479509523307,0.12899273791655033,0.0,0.0,0.1445510084578932,0.0,0.0,0.06577260224935337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11018588436513513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09306900476548192,0.19959106444739036,0.0,0.18095725114865288,0.0,0.0,0.10456357460926533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MooMoon4,2020/02/22,"Terrified I'll lose my career and home if I start medication Newly diagnosed bipolar II here. My career depends upon my ability to be creative. I make a good salary and I own my own home. I'm relatively high functioning without medication and I hide my illness pretty well but lately it has gotten worse which led to my being officially diagnosed. I'm TERRIFIED of medication. My aunt is on heavy antipsychotics for her BPI and she is a walking zombie. She sleeps until 2:00 in the afternoon and is barely able to hold a conversation. People say the medication will kill my creativity. What if I get on medication, lose my creativity and my career and then become homeless? How is that better than being unstable and in emotional pain all the time?",4.228112617309699,7.0985250802919735,6.314019812304482,67.22366788321168,75.56934306569343,9.753701772679877,29.49374348279457,9.957137785484203,3.8984706986444215,604,27,94,20,14,210,87,137,0.213,0.648,0.139,-0.9590000000000001,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,3,3,7,1,0,6,0,9,11,1,4,1,18,15,14,1,2,4,1,0,0,0,1,10,1,2,0,4,8,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,4,1,0,1,1,18,3,13,10,3,14,0,2,0,0,6,6,0,3,6,68,22,3,0.13396124824475256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14794967388557972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1184778378271157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2719356942126023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506883735842727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06998922316126131,0.0,0.0,0.1123603392793244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14153741375347936,0.26874810904407354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1482082731726499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15111412296134394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2997367416512911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08942017342951276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6747593208424316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14254421310268375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928718622387282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13628674940299326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10653136141502496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340579934561359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09481846100239663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07811388113933662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12044725027118737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12913386288964993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13651795659101915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Crazy-Analyst,2020/02/22,"Latuda food requirements I know you’re supposed to take 350kcal. Had anyone tried to eat less, like 200 or 250? I’m not hungry and that’s so much! I’m on 40mg.",-1.6919047619047591,0.12655871428571785,0.8449999999999989,99.39416666666668,104.71428571428572,3.4761904761904763,14.404761904761903,5.46131890053228,-0.9445238095238097,125,3,29,1,6,42,31,35,0.0,0.9179999999999999,0.08199999999999999,0.3609,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,5,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,3,4,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,12,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3094543779608486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4528583445982902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.535155919880024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24322422475863356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2162167486233717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3253389724977324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3327566406990498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30047514748482695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,alyise,2020/02/23,"why are relationships so triggering? i was in bipolar remission for awhile. i had isolated myself and convinced myself i was a sociopath who felt nothing and didn’t need others. i was empty and depressed all the time being but i guess i was stable... now that i’m in a close friendship, i’m unstable again and relapsed into all my self destructive behaviours (self harm, drinking etc) :( why do i do this to myself?? why can’t i just be normal?? why can’t i have a normal relationship instead of being needy and annoying as fuck???",3.7662555555555532,6.055319470000002,5.263333333333332,77.11722222222224,74.3,8.044444444444443,29.11111111111111,8.841846274778883,2.7371777777777773,417,18,71,9,9,140,66,100,0.31,0.639,0.051,-0.9837,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,0,5,6,3,0,4,0,15,3,0,1,2,17,21,8,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,4,7,1,0,1,1,0,0,3,5,0,0,7,1,13,1,7,11,3,7,0,1,0,1,5,4,1,1,3,57,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486381429976268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16905728634355432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19246615834719089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16569855991141266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15954232190622694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19011024114195507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12796178700790933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3381726902040478,0.1655898637412193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37056080529740015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3600656303858156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10062956455607112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6228864881099712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sluggthrowaway,2020/02/23,"Did shrooms in a mixed episode, will it affect the next few days? So I’m in a mixed or maybe depressive episode and I did shrooms yesterday. I had a great experience while on them but I’m worried about the next few days. If anyone reading this has done them, did you feel weird the few days after?",1.9390000000000045,4.1718869000000005,2.4700000000000024,95.165,80.0,6.0,25.0,7.1686216300943375,0.8759999999999999,234,9,52,3,6,72,40,60,0.12,0.8370000000000001,0.044000000000000004,-0.5362,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,2,0,2,3,0,0,6,0,7,0,0,1,0,6,10,6,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,5,1,5,1,5,4,3,11,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,2,8,34,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17472565673201615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4834661621130939,0.0,0.2152258979746685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25571948586234483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2444358353726397,0.0,0.0,0.12634954832516193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2754994961390978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2510434351561384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5315118393047736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2499529866701281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25377071701016346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,maskedredditor1985,2020/02/23,"bf newly diagnosed as bipolar, weed and porn for anxiety Boyfriend is newly diagnosed on the bipolar disorder spectrum in the past few months.  We don't know what type specifically we just know he is on the spectrum.  We've been together for 5+ years and our relationship has been rocky when several issues have come to light.  There are two ways I find him dealing with stressful situations that cause him anxiety and it's either with weed or porn.  Sorry this is long. 

I'm not quite sure but I believe he is somewhat dependent on weed. He doesn't believe he is dependent.  Now he isn't a daily user and never goes to work high, does the chores around the house, and overall functional.  This makes it difficult for me to convince him that while he is functional, there is still a level of dependency emotionally.  He says weed helps him clear his head, slows down his thoughts and the gears from grinding in his head.  It helps him wind down after a long day at work (he's on his feet for 12 hours, 3x a week).  He also enjoys it in social settings with friends.   While I'm ok with occasional weed usage (say 3x a month) , I don't want him to use it too frequently and be dependent although I'm not quite sure if he is?  I would say his frequency can vary from once a week to 3x a week.  

As for porn,  when we argue and things get heated, his thoughts can start racing and he would have trouble sleeping.  It's as if his mind needs a distraction and his mind automatically turns to porn to deal.  He wouldn't be able to relax or he would lay in bed for 30 min and then turn to porn masturbate and get that release then he can sleep.  Another example is when he had to see my parents for the first time since his diagnosis, he panicked and ended up watching porn to get rid of the anxiety. 

My question is what are your thoughts on weed usage and dependency?  Am I being unreasonable or am I just enabling his weed dependency if any?  What are your experiences with being bipolar and smoking weed?  And using porn to deal with anxiety?  Does this mean the medication isn't working? I need help I'm at a lost for what to do.  Waiting for referral to psychiatrist but in our city it's really backed up to potentially 6+months to a year.  What can we do in the meantime? 

TLDR; boyfriend newly diagnosed on the bipolar spectrum disorder.  Uses weed and porn to cope with stressful situations or to wind down after a long day.  Is it bad to use weed to cope? What's reasonable? I don't know what to do about the porn. Please help!",4.068837808807736,5.688069555102043,5.092008592910852,81.52235230934481,71.81632653061223,8.586466165413535,28.813104189044036,9.134995656068208,2.4015306122448985,1982,78,390,42,38,650,213,490,0.113,0.8240000000000001,0.063,-0.9647,1,0,0,0,0,0,49.0,6,2,0,8,14,15,1,3,23,1,43,22,5,13,4,81,72,38,0,10,14,1,0,0,2,4,8,3,2,0,22,30,0,1,10,1,0,1,10,8,0,2,7,6,35,7,67,57,3,59,0,1,2,9,57,22,0,15,34,241,57,4,0.07364973798443858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058897668857238086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05008434738654772,0.07722817191563616,0.2253673918795913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06556388145735828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056632102383017385,0.06149445486539544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1659560680333806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07565856866405166,0.0,0.06344272788011597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09499597621831793,0.22778893773844086,0.0,0.22425880121819966,0.0,0.0,0.16881796088845802,0.0,0.12890276405401627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08284604224877108,0.06523180745382272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07204357602548872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06731452624027343,0.06264642950557738,0.0,0.0,0.056901604870702976,0.0,0.11543684494810337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15117175824391382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19746346760448769,0.07781499183176771,0.0,0.0,0.07253015630471803,0.08498190923093643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07687119165310248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12142790966760375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19553310148239925,0.0,0.0,0.08039738914298668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04916177200420082,0.0,0.0,0.08022615582559323,0.0,0.07419436267390779,0.0,0.0,0.1487304803680714,0.0,0.17635955459907696,0.0,0.0,0.10922069500603952,0.0568032182959248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07843456728600695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0817793181728575,0.0,0.07030700854770616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08084529570568473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08250456207693617,0.15667112414378612,0.0,0.0,0.04718190806215456,0.07572419699454258,0.0,0.07907225595028244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17570768318776375,0.0,0.0,0.058689305709876,0.0,0.0,0.08320324035796267,0.0,0.060923824336119925,0.16557078259513033,0.14740585388880534,0.07507663294492793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08244485188071947,0.05212966361850668,0.0,0.05881677589161762,0.0,0.16873105204936895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13882801288297308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04892961332585526,0.0,0.0,0.17540899561223866,0.04294575449422984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16021953174482567,0.07194509228530961,0.0,0.0,0.2544389067108647,0.0,0.0,0.04344052366213471,0.058459733898923824,0.17723213198221466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608536592504515,0.0,0.0,0.15695598224979246,0.0,0.0,0.0948560331209349
bipolarreddit,Julesrpgqueen,2020/02/23,"I don’t know what to do anymore need advice I have bipolar 2 disorder, substance abuse disorder and ptsd from reoccurring trauma, neglect and abuse in my formative years, i receive ssdi because I’m legally disabled, and currently live with my mother, she is also disabled and requires full time care from me, she for the last 8 years has fueled my addiction to opiates by repeatedly suggesting I take her pain medication when ever I’m dealing with back pain, I’ve gotten clean in the past and managed to stay clean for a year or more, than she waves her pain meds in front of me tempting me to take them when I’m in the slightest amount of pain, this time around I had to threaten to move out if she did it again, I’ve been sober for 7 months now and I’m becoming increasingly aware that she is emotionally abusing me, she criticizes everything I do, every single day, no matter how I’m feeling her well being is more important than mine, when I try to stand up to her, she starts crying and acts like I’m victimizing her, and makes me feel like I’m a shitty person, she’s a hoarder and we live in a single wide mobile home and it’s gotten so bad I have to sleep in the living room, because there’s no room anywhere else, I have nowhere else to go, and I can barely even see my own doctors because she is so dependent on me, every time I go to my counselor or doctors appointment she messages me repeatedly through the entire appointment asking when I’m coming back home, this morning she started being nasty to me because I don’t make her spaghetti anymore, because I don’t go to great lengths to prepare home cooked meals for her enough, when some days I can barely feed myself, whenever I’m not doing well and try to talk to her about it, she accuses me of saying she’s a bad mother and makes everything about her and that she has it so much worse than me, she’s morbidly obese and can barely walk now, I don’t know what to do anymore, I’m losing my sanity, I’ve been hypomanic for weeks and I’m no longer sleeping, I feel like I’ll never be free, and I just wanna to give up.",14.612575757575762,6.601938447368418,13.436626794258375,60.77055422647531,58.06698564593303,16.421371610845295,49.90510366826157,11.538034831475384,5.580712280701754,1653,63,323,26,12,547,198,418,0.184,0.747,0.069,-0.9948,1,0,0,0,2,0,33.0,1,0,1,2,24,18,1,0,10,0,27,15,2,5,2,46,61,30,0,3,5,2,3,3,0,0,10,1,7,1,10,23,4,2,5,1,1,10,9,10,2,0,6,5,61,9,49,52,11,56,0,2,1,0,37,15,0,5,32,212,71,5,0.0,0.2848836226255438,0.0,0.08737216896548104,0.0,0.07831881836129216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0640936067736843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2384531605746431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07134791101614117,0.07492671927315744,0.0,0.0,0.12325634516035945,0.1338389612145188,0.24428464077410145,0.0885161749188523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08171530979576014,0.0,0.0,0.06903962979000475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08803782573986199,0.10337649796594428,0.08262814067220743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18371104003703406,0.1640679055885404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13390523530508727,0.09015469979838124,0.0,0.08281337878944693,0.0,0.05293640354909628,0.07249764029975145,0.13505477663722773,0.0,0.14406209081571858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12157434546723052,0.1145142082582223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07688440123498495,0.13664833146352368,0.0,0.0,0.08836246050115483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24118222775861034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08809350007213862,0.06533058344827286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11746747376429535,0.0,0.21231407252517584,0.0,0.0,0.08966410386997985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16049643445680475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08902536003524518,0.08073977117111593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06397265043236212,0.08518368324279275,0.05891734021485695,0.059428058980005874,0.061814384296999814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3411286600178741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07650947561631645,0.0,0.06998135614941685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936876707385548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06373619064985933,0.0,0.0,0.06386686188051162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16040996220391482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11345705954195492,0.08542614450247009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205212892774811,0.06441920292113314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14020325530154246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10882923957471012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06428916908105997,0.0,0.14412373604479242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08167674187994772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.154836313684195
bipolarreddit,Mundane-Violinist,2020/02/23,"Mania is awesome, I don't care if this gets down-voted I loved my manic episode that I had this month. I met a bunch of great people, including a woman who brought me my dreamwoman. I also met computer hackers and some very smart/cool people.

If there were a possible way to control mania, I'd be the happiest man on earth. But if I'm off my meds, I know I'll wind up at the mental hospital again and write a bunch of cringy stuff on facebook to people I barely know.

I had about 6 days of unmedicated mania starting Feb 3rd, then I took my meds every day starting on Feb 10th, and my mania is gone as of today/yesterday. 

I wish I was still manic. I miss mania so badly. I loved it this month and it brought me no negative consequences at all. <3",3.4312987012987013,4.38343563636364,5.194675324675323,82.75487012987013,72.5064935064935,8.197402597402599,26.33766233766233,8.575989854853784,1.7744363636363634,584,19,120,10,11,200,97,154,0.08800000000000001,0.764,0.14800000000000002,0.9077,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,1,6,6,0,0,6,0,8,2,0,1,1,15,25,12,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,8,4,0,1,2,0,0,4,3,2,0,0,10,0,20,4,15,14,4,21,0,1,0,2,8,7,0,4,9,77,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356070065031214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14158589130328153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17289038805392926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.190189892965832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21872037068279804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14287208112964014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0885945928891293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18695419651015402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863851394624602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3060914670851235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3767134722147969,0.0,0.17088911990416775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27070218263220297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3526805036942981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19116742975118575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2400484695058222,0.0,0.1354207571467752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941198560555114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16073483071873435,0.0,0.1884012028527016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13991500916542038,0.0,0.13459869751751424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1949999193701104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,throwananxious,2020/02/23,"My gf is struggling to handle my low mood. What can I do? So yeah I was stable for around 6 months, and now I'm suicidal and up shit creek. This is the first time my gf has really seen my mental illness and she is not coping with it, which is only making me feel worse and like a burden and a massive piece of shit. All my support networks like my social workers, my psychologist and my psychiatrist have jumped on my back. I've literally had 5 appointments in 4 days since Friday. But she doesn't seem to think I'm doing enough (I'm literally doing everything. I haven't missed meds. I'm eating ""relatively"" well, I'm exercising and my sleep schedule is fine.) She wants it to just go away which it can't. We've talked about this and it always seems to end with it being really dismissive and I don't feel supported. I'm too much when I'm depressed. I ruin our time together. How can we work through this?",1.4468478260869588,3.799565641304348,3.453434782608696,86.68939130434784,82.80434782608697,6.723478260869566,20.61304347826087,7.908726449838941,1.003348695652174,714,21,147,14,20,241,115,184,0.179,0.736,0.086,-0.9642,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,2,0,0,3,10,15,2,1,3,1,19,6,3,2,1,25,38,13,1,1,3,0,2,2,2,0,2,0,0,0,11,13,1,0,5,1,0,2,5,8,1,1,3,3,21,6,15,34,4,18,0,4,1,0,9,6,2,2,12,93,32,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13193286845121552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14115014063942474,0.0,0.0,0.14897035950443047,0.1219212322148459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022567235598752,0.0,0.13656568055929424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622443081511658,0.0,0.0,0.14043523036779565,0.16383268825224526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14250160999701855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603432692604311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13486926244629238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901121043326952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15492675451177246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10583862453276843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17612207436048782,0.0,0.15978906252654038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12655939714285194,0.0,0.11655829496600832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12059042221464385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20315249221298504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28869030081027475,0.0,0.0,0.3255147964316838,0.1311607272508394,0.0,0.15867240121385665,0.1616298038395305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657591359549799,0.0,0.1734365995171546,0.3598592350530713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12744282800572124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015974952910356,0.0,0.0,0.1849127645278064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09352155314887044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14256258748486364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11543203422824605,0.0,0.1615840385392147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,gnometoes7,2020/02/23,"I (f23) am experiencing mania, plz help. I’m currently withdrawing from Prozac 20mg. Has anyone experienced mania coming off of SSRIs or am I manic because it’s still in my system? I only slept four hours last night and I woke up feeling refreshed and did a number of things to entertain myself while my boyfriend was asleep. I’m very worried and even more worried about how I might act at work today. It’s a busy day that will be stressful and that tends to trigger my mania. Any advice? 

TDLR: I’m not sure why I’m manic",3.097200854700855,5.045088249999999,4.574358974358977,82.84841880341881,75.15384615384616,6.545299145299146,24.055555555555557,7.3871296695380915,1.1561273504273504,414,13,78,5,9,138,77,104,0.105,0.804,0.09,-0.5435,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,1,2,0,8,3,2,2,1,12,17,7,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,1,1,0,2,1,1,0,1,4,3,9,2,10,10,1,15,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,2,8,46,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2234534213672131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15550326320216962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15989119758694925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393949497976899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19697873141210406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14747306358025775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15103420525771435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11562229024707668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15327250517374816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2251936298360641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863963565447228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24258245554961025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21459105852109456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17391363993798595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18261594808428794,0.0,0.261940412188134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21551852179043854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15191801304042749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2167521738935144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1886764820128132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20633887116650693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16647429264612548,0.4644504374934065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,gummybearraver,2020/02/23,"Sinking feeling of nobody likes me. Hey guys so usually when I enter a depressive episode I get the sinking feeling that nobody likes me or they're faking it. This feeling starts to eat away at me to the point where I avoid talking to those certain people even though they clearly havent said anything intended to lead me to this thought, I am aware that it is my illness but I continue to dig myself deeper into that hole. This is usually my sighn that I am about to go into an episode and even though I tell myself this, that feeling keeps growing to the point that I feel everybody is talking about me behind my back, almost to the point where  I hear them but then I overhear them talking about something completely different.

If any of you deal with this specific issue what are some of your tips and coping mechanism to keep the feeling at bay?? because i always seem to go down hill to the point where it becomes paranoia.",7.130280898876407,7.0804122528089914,6.7980674157303405,78.02755056179775,64.11235955056179,9.367191011235958,36.33932584269663,8.841846274778883,3.149474606741572,743,33,133,10,10,233,102,178,0.055,0.8490000000000001,0.096,0.4956,1,1,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,3,1,13,6,0,1,8,0,7,2,0,2,2,26,23,11,0,1,4,0,6,2,0,0,1,2,0,1,16,5,1,3,8,0,0,5,1,3,0,0,2,8,26,3,26,21,1,25,0,1,0,0,15,13,0,5,9,101,42,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12474220338077713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10365499654078833,0.0,0.0,0.0847141416113362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10251324280086432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170407517124628,0.09578920743432126,0.0,0.07593875056958835,0.1375814645414541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13061277473912136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12842964143492822,0.10729483344173914,0.0,0.0,0.13015262407979475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274696244961143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16455902968059535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3779281360809877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06508442750669373,0.0,0.1415957975073136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12334718996797085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14040320558997288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13002219965597842,0.0,0.22145301314748306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12172048096514634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0863634672921153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4710482801157288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11849777140277375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11340688822707272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959026416605763,0.0,0.0,0.08817364978016329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30038199088271883,0.10888258816500253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24478534409525926,0.09889731535957293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2743998643381277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,nukethewhales-,2020/02/23,I remember why I don't drink now 24 hours after having too much to drink at my friends wedding I'm a ball of anxiety wanting nothing more than even more alcohol to bring me back to baseline. I'd be drinking right now if it weren't for my parents being in the same house. I fucking hate it,2.429016393442623,3.9439391147541016,4.063081967213115,87.66183606557377,75.88524590163935,6.847213114754098,30.2327868852459,7.554174236665415,1.8822170491803285,230,11,48,3,5,77,49,61,0.09699999999999999,0.85,0.053,-0.3804,1,0,4,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,5,3,2,0,2,0,5,5,0,0,0,4,10,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,4,0,1,4,0,1,2,2,0,0,1,0,6,1,9,7,4,9,0,0,0,1,3,3,1,1,5,34,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.227908902718006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16314247105593854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1639829266657105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6267375861417838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408554889380203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16476329336259696,0.1971544121357072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.210549007811256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21001705396576856,0.2460721322877757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15676982580039742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046276614973706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23679876554844195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24158075584041605,0.18212193121058926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257856216926191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19243298255176555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Kaijah,2020/02/23,"Manic Hypersexual So for transparency, I’m 28 years old, gay, and been diagnosed bipolar type two last 2012 after a gruesome divorce. Last 2018 I took a vow of celibacy, I cannot touch myself or have sex with anyone for 365 days, I did it for 372 days I was dating a guy who had the patience to wait. Don’t get me wrong, hypersexual manic attacks have happened to me in the past hence my body count is high 100+ I know the exact number but wont disclose it for judgement. Anyhow, I just got off another relationship (3 relationships since my vow of celibacy ended), and I just can’t make up my mind. I’ve been going out a lot and traveled to a few nearby countries for weekends the past few weeks, and I’m a very private person. So anyhow my problem is, I generally felt amazing when I was under my vow of celibacy, and now it all feels kinda shit, never had hypersexual manics during the time, my maintenance was good. I’m on prozac, valporic acid, rivotril, and seraquel. These days like last night, I slept with 3 people, I’m fine during but afterwards in the morning I just feel dirty and guilty, same thing last week had sex with 3 guys, I only remember some of their names it’s that and that’s another plus 6 on the body count... So my question is, how do you guys cope? I’m having troubles just staying sane because I just want to be with someone then want them away at the same time, too. A problem I never had when I was celibate, and now considering another trip to Bangkok to renew it...",5.019627857522592,5.568443828282831,6.0012652844231775,79.87803827751195,68.62962962962962,8.272833599149388,30.44639376218323,8.20500826718156,2.1160410774410767,1175,44,229,15,19,390,172,297,0.096,0.84,0.064,-0.9072,0,0,0,0,1,0,41.0,0,1,2,0,14,10,2,0,15,0,23,10,4,2,4,50,42,20,0,4,8,0,4,1,0,1,3,0,0,4,10,15,0,1,6,2,0,4,6,6,0,1,15,5,28,4,31,25,7,44,0,0,0,3,13,11,1,7,29,144,38,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3394749272991343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07545669203059352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12276891582819713,0.10138971484104968,0.0,0.0,0.06578399534336131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2397385218915704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2087887834225328,0.0,0.0,0.10953147500932377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09558067798181326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10913015448897577,0.0,0.10361534376730708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056381144592340976,0.0,0.061330593498011676,0.09051399985903076,0.08630950074516155,0.0,0.0,0.3205585123382029,0.09542889692610168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140181449317446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059307273475749725,0.3518605822880612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05272182840080597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09174549201748723,0.0,0.0,0.07203411468055948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10896340838174916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16646143432762608,0.0,0.0,0.10127093711046772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11323866157644093,0.0,0.0,0.08207423652314469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2060341973084202,0.07481468798956364,0.09422723410827344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20652020225253834,0.0,0.0,0.1208895213502785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2317206935781928,0.122246682337968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11077321856690962,0.0892684207687087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09143604733596528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11502305413766295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07169394498816918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12585223347995525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11989755935446605,0.0,0.0,0.1054172951280232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890411943341321,0.12730215106950915,0.0,0.17312584147964935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11798813498957356,0.0,0.0694937355735724
bipolarreddit,potato_alchemist,2020/02/23,"Just Emailed my Psychiatrist So, my psychiatrist for some reason thinks I have PCOS, which I don’t, so in my email updating her that the new medication isn’t working, I corrected her and told her I don’t have PCOS, and now I’m worried what her response will be.",23.410000000000004,7.149613846153848,20.34769230769231,41.79730769230771,54.769230769230774,24.64615384615385,69.30769230769229,15.903189008614273,9.220746153846154,208,9,43,5,1,69,35,52,0.049,0.951,0.0,-0.29600000000000004,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,1,0,7,1,0,1,1,7,10,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,11,0,2,7,1,4,0,0,0,0,7,1,0,1,3,31,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4150993918339657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39796272663380294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4236584423226567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2640265074995093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3937336778905976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2999790178246328,0.4184591622313037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,13913puzzle,2020/02/23,"New humble r/BP friend dealing with insane insomnia and Latuda + Seroquel issues! Advice? I suffer from days on end insomnia, hypo moods are definitely what rules my life and I’ve been clinically dosed as BP2. Latuda has worked well but then I got a 25-75mg Seroquel script for sleeping and felt like quellville to the max with munchies and still no sleep. After 3 days of mostly hypo I was put on 600mg and told 200g during the day to stabilize the hypo to a normal baseline is what I need.

Friends, it was a disaster. That night I honestly thought I was never waking up again. From hypo normal cycle to full blown vomiting, crazy talking and exercises, dreaming of my dead grandma and DS uncle begging me to join them in peace and so on and still no sleep beyond maybe 2 hours with my parents watching me nervous as can be but knowing what to do (DS uncle and several friends take seroquel and they know the side effects and treatment protocol and dad is a now retired medical professional). 

I have found great success with Trazadone. But despite being given in ER settings, can’t secure a rX as it’s not recommended for primarily manic BP patients. I’ve tried melatonin and valerian and avoid tv and music and lights and all that good stuff but still struggle - and miss the old me. Any other great sleep suggestions natural or rX considering my Latuda? 

Best, a fellow BP soldier!",5.071896551724136,6.870649858237549,5.8657835249042165,76.25131896551726,69.57471264367815,8.131877394636017,31.82394636015325,8.697196308434329,2.8076879693486587,1107,49,187,19,20,362,171,261,0.11900000000000001,0.679,0.20199999999999999,0.9839,1,1,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,2,4,8,18,0,3,11,0,14,15,5,1,2,42,25,29,1,3,6,2,1,1,4,0,10,0,0,0,9,23,0,2,6,3,0,1,5,5,2,0,10,3,16,12,27,13,4,27,0,2,1,0,12,9,0,2,17,117,25,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11851968603726078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08247892477870512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12728261515164155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2346591216309261,0.12504097348783175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10742376852069986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11645398357782998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13298429944120926,0.2811167619913242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101729294811963,0.0970038299053454,0.2674374127496461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11944269254172893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12659151141717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13331168918188746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08566818540520191,0.059254418463048415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12184851102603013,0.0,0.0,0.12218330830499853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08993234371364314,0.09354356427685673,0.11713918034754656,0.0,0.11381908912698062,0.2376698803691916,0.0,0.0,0.1272696953572152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13467421627709142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219263517672458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13701913194285018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4854960469386526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2905784753697521,0.0,0.0,0.1267949004276517,0.13884393352999716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911922936584591,0.09748543025461097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09628786976065584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.115894372052008,0.0,0.08234551782029513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090510576126625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08829795837079485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MurkyNefariousness1,2020/02/23,"Bipolar & Alcohol Hey guys,

I’ve been having a tough time lately with drinking to much and doing very stupid things that I would never do sober. I end up full of regret and start feeling very low. I feel like the only way to stop is by giving up alcohol. Unfortunately I’ve tried before but always end up giving in. How do I make the cycle stop? And tips would be greatly appreciated!!!",3.867280701754384,5.537495026315792,5.3421052631578965,79.32307017543863,72.42105263157895,7.171929824561403,23.19298245614036,7.793537801064563,1.174050877192983,306,8,57,4,6,103,57,76,0.16899999999999998,0.679,0.153,0.5274,0,0,3,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,1,6,1,0,3,0,9,4,0,2,1,15,15,5,0,3,1,0,2,1,0,2,3,0,0,1,2,4,3,2,2,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,2,4,2,9,11,2,15,0,2,0,0,4,6,0,0,9,35,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37638753743202863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14652652293857082,0.1908006510388624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498452824243576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17250768022569427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3119387343795859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17807951875177724,0.12580348480487016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3378559132395688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19414718271310755,0.0,0.17436337333857455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19864469594471573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08603193015985093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11754588395932505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294513026322378,0.0,0.1358165955807786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13392944058773062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12464211806718513,0.0,0.0,0.2944493756638986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11699079214809772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10268337508039883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11955806877946586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2905963637705199,0.0,0.13977732732230932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2501880210865127,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,CherryB0X,2020/02/23,How do you spot an episode? Been feeling incredibly unstable as of late and it’s coming up on a year since my last psychotic break. Just putting the feelers out there.. could really use an ear and an eye.,2.527749999999997,4.906868275000001,3.6500000000000017,86.70500000000001,78.75,8.0,27.5,8.841846274778883,2.3040000000000003,161,7,33,4,4,52,37,40,0.069,0.893,0.037000000000000005,-0.3167,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,0,3,2,2,2,0,9,6,4,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,5,4,0,9,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,3,21,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32941749919672997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3053280368598199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19336100619363625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3117200582629579,0.43138187425628177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3844336767273034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24498546453637415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3163384445295201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3302846171172941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2462633485233063
bipolarreddit,FormerEvidence,2020/02/23,"Prozac So, I recently was put on Prozac for my depression and anxiety. My doctor is informed about my BP, and said it has the potential to cause a manic episode but we don’t know until we get there. I’m started on a low dose (10mg) which she said would be ineffective but it’s just to get me started, so I’m not sure how the medication is really going to impact me. 

I was curious as to if there is anyone else who has tried this medication, and if it triggered a mania episode?",4.613333333333333,4.6187979595959625,6.459141414141418,78.14204545454548,69.40404040404039,10.236363636363636,30.641414141414145,10.125756701596842,2.867638383838384,374,14,79,9,6,131,66,99,0.113,0.857,0.03,-0.7174,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,2,0,0,1,7,4,0,0,5,0,10,6,0,3,1,18,20,12,0,3,6,0,0,0,0,1,6,2,0,0,6,5,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,4,2,10,1,10,14,0,9,0,2,0,0,7,3,0,2,4,55,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16569446254554052,0.0,0.0,0.15144815076053222,0.22192701331311104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2225025682234052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18655282145559005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2216940003844037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809371990256768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263237323685009,0.0,0.12309584107601555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11903486162512615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4363930360867913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21773764176476207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13875620306967335,0.0,0.2138612779070272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41206259206116463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30661389028500285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20413807684476026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14705368117891868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15386276251879166,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hungryfarmboy,2020/02/23,"Did you experience mania before or after taking meds? my little sister has had a history of psychosis, and was on latuda recently and had meds changed to 100 mg of zoloft which shot up a manic episode...she’s never had a manic episode before and we think it was the zoloft that triggered it...wondering if it’s the same for people in this forum?  and if zoloft did trigger a manic episode did you experience more
episodes afterwards?

thanks for any help!  seeing people have manic episodes is terrifying",6.868514492753622,8.025894619565218,6.935652173913045,72.64775362318842,64.76086956521739,9.1768115942029,32.72463768115942,9.2995712137729,3.106342028985507,403,16,65,7,6,129,61,92,0.04,0.8859999999999999,0.073,0.4581,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,6,0,11,3,0,2,1,13,15,7,0,2,3,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,8,1,4,1,9,7,2,8,0,0,1,0,5,4,0,3,4,45,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1496655275766718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3745527017678225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23282102862073814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4305712413959064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14751851425782245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22058325449204666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.488930230569619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16974332457002075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30515882353921897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2173076483844086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17537946205796864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654767296971828,0.0,0.0,0.2026249430727172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14102175147071164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BipolarKinkyWoman,2020/02/23,"Menopausal and lamotrigine Hello.

I am 49 years old, bipolar 2 with hyperthymic temperament. I have been on lamotrigine 150 mg for a couple of years. Recently I went to the gyn (hot flashes, pain with intercourse) and blood tests said I am postmenopausal. So he sent some hormones. Then I read on the prospect that  these hormones (which are contraceptives, only that I have to always take the active ones and throw away the inactive week of pills) interact with lamotrigine. Taking these hormones take lamotrigine levels down. So my pshychiatrist adjusted it to 200 mg.

Just wanted to share this for all my fellow BD menopausal women out there, or women in general because one day menopause arrives.

By the way, the hormones worked to eliminate the hot flashes. And intercourse pain was eliminated by a vaginal cream of estradiol, applied twice a week.",6.3159325605900944,9.191957273972603,6.0050684931506835,72.01248155953637,68.72602739726028,9.423814541622761,34.518440463645945,9.851270322608157,4.057099683877766,686,34,105,18,13,213,97,146,0.046,0.905,0.049,-0.128,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,10,0,7,5,1,1,1,16,14,8,0,1,2,0,2,0,1,0,4,1,0,2,7,8,0,0,1,1,0,3,0,2,0,3,5,4,8,1,21,9,2,19,0,0,1,0,9,7,0,2,8,68,15,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16256017960815958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1835528074362064,0.0,0.0,0.11909331285302675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21616878590385824,0.0,0.1259949210774708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20500377454714835,0.0,0.2647701433798682,0.14858466221770145,0.4157664405537768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19541888944782448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19290037623787515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185837823985856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4406728017331483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11523194072549064,0.15507245363482136,0.31342167490226946,0.0,0.0,0.18110625841062528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14222878981531015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2516186239157692
bipolarreddit,afineafternoontodie,2020/02/24,"Seroquel/Quetiapine - best amount for intense mood swings/intrusive thoughts? My psychiatrist usually would prescribe me 25mg, but I read somewhere that it doesn't do much besides making you sleepy at about 25mg. I do recall frequently taking more than 25mg (around 50-100mg maybe). I definitely felt much, much better. Is this true or does it depend on the person? Also, how do you deal with being tired/drowsy or wanting to sleep 10 hours a night?",5.858835341365462,7.492483096385545,5.727891566265062,78.63513052208839,67.43373493975903,8.424899598393575,29.49598393574297,8.841846274778883,2.386126104417671,359,13,63,6,6,112,68,83,0.0,0.809,0.191,0.937,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,2,0,2,4,4,0,0,2,0,7,1,1,3,1,13,12,5,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,7,3,8,8,6,7,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,3,4,38,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1776651036427289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977737662686737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23314824239257956,0.196486704213054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290421450015998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944179063436447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21331304010715255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2187875681181132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14829672358608403,0.0,0.22319439422285772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4899500534860338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20848660713848988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193985726801846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22222491263049932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223252364382936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16704027459592552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1763740285480219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2446831308331445,0.0,0.13103855022572955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15781949379212007,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Adamcz5,2020/02/24,"My(18yo) girlfriend(18yo) has bipolar II disorder. How can I support her? (updated) (first I want to clarify that she told me her psychiatrist thinks she has bipolar disorder, she herself is not sure about it. I don't know the details and from the symptoms, I assume its bipolar II disorder) 

​

She is really nice extroverted girl I wouldn't say she is hyperactive but definitely has energy. Thus I assume she has hypomania and not mania. She is also quite a busy person. We have been dating for 3 months now and I know her for 4 months.

​

Since I knew her, her Depression periods have been in a cycle of a month for +- 4 days during which she doesn't want to see anyone, not even me, doesn't leave her room, doesn't want to do anything. (it gets better closer to the end of the depression period) Sometimes she is not tired at all and doesn't sleep much and sometimes she is very tired but I wouldn't say that anything extreme... just a bit more sleepy than an average person. (I can't recall how often sleep differences happen but it's in a matter of a couple of days a month). She doesn't take any medication, she is going to psychologist sometimes and she knows she has some mental health problems but apparently she is not sure if she has bipolar disorder or if she believes it.

​

I'm quite an emotional guy and it pains me very much seeing her depressed and not being able to do anything. I definitely don't plan on leaving her because of it, I love her and I will do my best to support her no matter what.

​

What kind of relationship should I expect?

Is there anything I can do for her during her depression periods? To make her feel better?

Anything I can do to try to prevent the depression?

Is being alone really best for her?

What I definitely shouldn't do?

Anything other I should know?

​

Thank you very much, everyone.",3.832471910112357,6.1326375140449425,4.890884831460678,79.81222612359551,74.14044943820224,7.9331460674157315,27.69803370786517,8.751876143730069,2.367094382022473,1489,59,267,31,32,487,159,356,0.12300000000000001,0.7070000000000001,0.171,0.9318,1,1,0,0,0,0,67.0,1,1,0,8,9,19,0,0,14,0,45,13,2,4,3,55,68,19,0,12,14,0,1,0,0,6,10,2,1,4,14,10,0,1,9,0,0,1,18,7,0,1,4,5,56,12,28,56,9,21,0,5,2,1,43,6,0,7,14,197,70,0,0.05973528726806857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061867742389671125,0.0,0.047770287646509584,0.0,0.3236157939890644,0.3629245619185837,0.040622043752569816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041768301772442916,0.0,0.2949423098717159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036414076675723606,0.0,0.0,0.06730121293810798,0.12537699722696755,0.10566201450395377,0.06521546239297069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06609595917879547,0.0,0.07704863702177485,0.0,0.2572495769650679,0.0,0.0,0.06241066118733705,0.2738472577271716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06719415802671996,0.052907734146898894,0.0,0.0,0.0394545938636475,0.0,0.0,0.057079626884136786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03020395608729286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05081080483443348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03120922211450558,0.0,0.03394894035467867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059147325963873634,0.052823717252337296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06349581701799223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062205109376027065,0.13131580667923054,0.0,0.0,0.1265020882446012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05391342898075808,0.0,0.03987376810354328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06017701745162469,0.06019911967670383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1907205455579561,0.0,0.13173692811682586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06356255730412799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10431709749007492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05715860248877992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270716619428804,0.0,0.0,0.07653590926674869,0.0,0.0,0.06413334321871413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09500779606887884,0.0,0.0,0.09520257999787272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04941364691557242,0.0,0.1195568547562682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17723917960638064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135573792193247,0.11259960262413606,0.062087835704514274,0.04491350187736138,0.0,0.0,0.05499622682748522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0382759600761945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13731385059780005,0.0,0.057079626884136786,0.0,0.040556338927780114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14786360394458614,0.10570026035589818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3629245619185837,0.0
bipolarreddit,cactus____jack,2020/02/24,"Too many hours in the day Does anyone else feel like theres too many hours in the day.  All i do is go to class and workout and i feel very bored most of the time.  I find it hard to get by the day without napping to waste time.  I don't really have any hobbies other than working out and am not really interested in any new ones as most things seem very boring to me.  I don't necessarily feel depressed, just bored with life.  what do I do???",1.6525,3.213507301075268,3.2813844086021504,92.24207661290323,78.13978494623656,6.370430107526883,20.227150537634405,7.1686216300943375,0.20375376344086016,341,8,80,4,8,113,60,93,0.124,0.797,0.079,-0.504,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,4,6,0,0,4,0,8,1,0,0,1,16,14,4,0,0,3,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,5,2,0,1,4,4,0,1,0,4,7,2,14,14,3,13,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,3,9,49,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23691202183642626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12179855944541733,0.17847950198019233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3370168021534153,0.0,0.15003065273273966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15243592083094235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14551442246569402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2642289620268,0.12444225082645707,0.0,0.0,0.15920763015500286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09100772915471388,0.0,0.0989968912891336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560411290774522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3430865504075244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12303641849029233,0.0851010371345608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3532051373672056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16823497715845653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180364867944666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2231827270670943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1585771552955102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11572491432539304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2031446161810534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2874520180873993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16791413145828415,0.0,0.12681329138188854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mondochon,2020/02/24,"Graduate School Hey guys! I wanted to share happy news with you all. I made a decision to pursue Public Policy about 3 years ago and stuck to a timeline of goals that eventually got me a seat in one of my top choice graduate programs!  


I'm 32, and feel a bit late to the party, but I'm proud of myself for following through with this. School will begin in September and I'm looking forward to my new life.  


My last major episode was a bout with psychosis at age 28. Since then I've been medicated on a cocktail that seems to work for me. You can do it! Just keep going!",2.4385344827586195,4.204893370689657,4.090896551724139,86.39375862068968,76.5,7.398620689655173,24.53103448275862,8.238735603445708,1.45452,445,15,93,8,10,149,84,116,0.013999999999999999,0.8740000000000001,0.113,0.8755,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,2,0,4,2,3,0,0,7,0,5,2,0,1,1,16,19,5,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,4,6,1,1,3,1,0,3,0,0,0,1,5,2,10,3,20,13,3,16,0,0,1,0,6,6,0,1,9,54,14,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010205159752629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2475773012378777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11466320501938722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288802796835335,0.0,0.18137102481721767,0.0,0.0,0.2245408496735776,0.0,0.2414039962782102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015661959863933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18485020145927028,0.2558097377708177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601764239240277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19043214340283032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21457802547741966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22844986496367695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21901870479355845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15366720341250126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4590126153600135,0.0,0.20644555460043826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1875889075808718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13375654708677878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650933907929814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14603432913568487
bipolarreddit,Abi7ifyed,2020/02/24,"I've been taking abilify (2mg per day) for a week now and I have to say it's made some nice changes for me, but also some drawbacks.. The Only drawbacks I'm having so far are:

1. concentration isn't as easy and I lose the drive to accomplish a goal of I can't concentrate on it for long. 

2. Also, I get an uneasiness, or anxious feeling anywhere from 2-4 hours after taking my dose in the morning. I get restless and feel like I have a rush of energy and need to be constantly moving. This isn't good to have while I'm at work. I read this could be a thing before I stated taking the meds.

Anyone else have similar drawbacks?",1.1181561949500889,3.1217364351145065,3.4728244274809192,88.11226658837349,81.59541984732823,6.4735173223722855,22.290663534938346,7.61054688173877,1.0045943628890202,487,16,103,8,13,168,87,131,0.14,0.758,0.10099999999999999,-0.7243,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,4,4,5,0,1,9,0,13,1,0,1,0,13,24,11,0,2,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,5,4,0,0,2,1,0,3,3,2,0,0,2,3,10,3,15,19,2,16,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,3,9,65,15,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29482557139312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20824629697785427,0.0,0.12889145159962753,0.18887318697159788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15685567066833728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19500219017315007,0.0,0.0,0.1992008552653779,0.0,0.14717665057473986,0.0,0.0,0.11888094856733425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15398839876008427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864108225109144,0.13168909732906114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926150583545044,0.0,0.0,0.15461161254178551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18153303170285734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09005686322442011,0.0,0.0,0.16313084340273434,0.0,0.20622392768644068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17442241482457527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20475484187953305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1959191356955934,0.0,0.13668220847229684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14019521926710254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18438507478605384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14659074260805124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4157913686508824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12246411009751605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14786257134537348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134198214517168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,eye-corona,2020/02/24,"Geez I thought I was normal This may be long but right now I need to get these inner thoughts out of my head and I don’t have the courage to share them with friends or family. 

I’m 44 I have a 2 sons and I am a divorced and recycles diagnosed bipolar1. 

The summer before my freshman year of high school my mother was hospitalized due to an extreme manic episode. I was angry and I thought my mom was being selfish how could she make it all about herself when I am starting high school. Long story short I ended up quitting high school and from that point forward I thought this bipolar thing was bullshit. Fast forward to December 2 2019. I was in a deep depression and I had an outburst at work. I have been with the company 10 years so my coworkers knew this was uncharacteristic for me and encouraged me to get help. The told me I need to take advantage of FMLA and told me to work on myself. Boy did this backfire. With the time alone at home I began to have bat thoughts slowly creep into my mind. I started wondering what the best way to commit suicide would be. This became inescapable and I got some help. I was diagnosed just last week and I have been refusing to believe it to be true. I’m still on leave from work and I am still struggling with depression. Just yesterday I decided to do a little research. I read articles online and I have been considering getting a book. I have been on Reddit for a while and thought maybe there was a place I could check out to convince myself I do not have this disorder. This was a huge eye opener. After reading posts for hours I have realized that every inner though people share here mirrors what is going through my mind. I’m not taking this well I thought I was normal and not like my mother. Now I have turned all the things I thought about my mom back to myself. I’m selfish, I’m faking this, and I am exaggerating. I don’t want to lose my job, my girlfriend, or myself. I will be ok things, will get better, you will get through this these are the things I am told. They are nice things to say...very motivational. But I don’t want to hear it I don’t want to be asked everyday if I am ok. I want to lock myself away and just be left alone. I dread time with my kids because I need to put on an act and pretend I’m going to work everyday and force a smile when they are home not to mention finding energy to do things with them. I know this is long. I need to say it. Even if no one gets to this sentence I will still feel better typing it out. I would end with something motivational but that would be BS.",2.3932637804978256,4.375678150579154,3.583587447630002,89.00014170705661,77.33976833976834,6.493452723239957,24.5347901092582,7.459000224883572,1.0713867904378531,2014,70,421,27,47,653,230,518,0.131,0.7290000000000001,0.141,-0.1097,1,2,1,0,1,2,42.0,0,1,4,12,20,24,0,2,20,2,63,5,2,4,4,87,110,31,1,17,14,5,1,1,2,8,3,2,2,2,30,30,0,1,17,4,1,6,9,8,1,1,31,4,74,16,58,61,4,66,0,3,1,0,30,29,0,7,34,299,104,15,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375116645763398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06206190996821336,0.0,0.06237179352033085,0.051046704503807806,0.0,0.040468264270502985,0.0,0.056489561323569276,0.0747942422145907,0.06966796800048508,0.11742597140051612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10600757234488094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11435625795820728,0.1347607013979465,0.0,0.0,0.07608406011598742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11759651007917107,0.0,0.0,0.04384729964123756,0.0,0.055933033434172816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06258277369298999,0.0,0.03356673540949933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060675563597502674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05128962703843108,0.0,0.20810354074669787,0.0,0.07545734042420997,0.0,0.053094915670287776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06813114600803015,0.0,0.07482180027486837,0.0,0.08899421756348408,0.21042123072550625,0.13318105877574335,0.0,0.06537679691743534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06587782051949316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036483986775999885,0.054113416782017074,0.0,0.07029314492087534,0.07212853840441917,0.0,0.0,0.0324328261518892,0.06653617086604309,0.0,0.17624845329913544,0.0,0.07426890694989749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04431314294866375,0.0,0.0666936184250669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13406178761844886,0.15550086504585908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19689738890377947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13008828896635385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04498484371854957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04602366501265455,0.0,0.06935919734331122,0.0,0.06275618883938852,0.0,0.06357939769080315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0667362244499485,0.0,0.07060963872008316,0.13280784742939128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05669324602994626,0.0,0.10558555784106098,0.0,0.201558403240256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05110715435597126,0.0,0.0,0.093976646553556,0.0,0.1590477371915354,0.0,0.0,0.0694010180030812,0.0,0.07261546397510411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09982795826310346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2646232869164514,0.0,0.06522386739373147,0.4216242867938108,0.07742037279609901,0.0,0.0,0.1903038854269991,0.0,0.0,0.07220885989188669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0547753684534837,0.15662463384277506,0.05269408402899913,0.05325081175507145,0.0,0.05968894953271271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07199274040885804,0.1933190744378059,0.0,0.0,0.14147604112985732,0.0,0.0,0.08550076174780677
bipolarreddit,that_one_guy2288,2020/02/24,"Could being on bipolar meds when you don't have it give you a mood disorder you wouldn't normally have When I was 5 the doctors misdiagnosed me with bipolar and they put me on the meds for 6 years im almost 18 now and only take meds for depression. Could that 6 years have altered my brain chemistry? I know that when you don't have bipolar and you take the meds the make it seem like you have the disorder. The reason im asking if it could have messed up my head is because i was recently diagnosed with a mild mood disorder after being off the meds for about 6 or 7 years, could the multiple antiphycotics and bipolar meds over the years do this to me?",5.368364661654134,5.4968199248120335,5.887734962406018,82.46137687969927,67.796992481203,9.657518796992482,30.158834586466163,9.516144504307137,2.459587218045112,522,18,108,10,8,169,68,133,0.113,0.868,0.019,-0.9013,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,6,1,0,5,5,0,0,11,0,19,8,2,2,0,19,26,9,0,7,2,0,0,1,0,1,6,0,0,0,6,6,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,2,0,15,1,13,17,0,16,0,1,0,0,9,5,0,4,11,74,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029071831378207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09607409152174694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0626463434213008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147229371188732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3282071471108963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08851382110853839,0.10430723100749133,0.0,0.0,0.35334266824884997,0.10518727584901584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09858431107754256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054694894245039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2220138825153782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0564785370993397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050207193262686065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0685983553107967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6849116580109025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10069069890422466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07815960068148807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10331010017100792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10566249260934953,0.10147087965224014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09355601472141503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15453730643337849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2647165713573782
bipolarreddit,IZesler999,2020/02/24,"Mental Health Tools reserach Hey,

My name is Irina, I am a student and I am currently conducting research on the topic of mental health tools.

If you have ever searched for a tool to communicate with your therapist, or a stress-relief and meditation apps, or mood journals, this survey is designed for you. The survey will take no more than 5 minutes to complete. Your help would be greatly appreciated!

[https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/2MNJWVL](https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/2MNJWVL)",9.657025440313113,13.660967109589038,8.19769080234834,54.863698630136994,62.835616438356155,8.554990215264189,32.34637964774951,9.23628265651192,3.59221878669276,401,16,50,8,7,122,57,73,0.031,0.878,0.092,0.6581,1,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,4,0,0,1,2,0,0,5,0,8,2,0,0,1,9,9,5,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,7,1,8,6,1,3,0,0,0,0,7,1,0,3,2,37,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26298980511849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2268895106664277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2765402479514536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5332397473316434,0.0,0.0,0.16812562852426707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5055539856569901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28732417719090303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885924578785802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2912322123078084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1781819762174604,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,illicitsammich,2020/02/24,"Hi-Polar swings are great but the fall out is not Hello friends! 28F (single, no kids) and I was diagnosed in my senior year of high school. I’m just emerging from an extended depression of over a year (yay!) but unfortunately that means I’m over on the Hi-Polar side of things now. Don’t get me wrong, I love it. But my family doesn’t understand the complexity of bipolar and they literally make fun of me for everything. It hurts because they treat me like a child who can’t make their own important decisions. Usually I can deal with it, but I made a few large purchases this weekend totaling about $25k and I’m terrified of anyone in the family finding out. My mom knows about the biggest purchase because I live with her but that’s it. To be fair, I didn’t buy random stuff and go on a shopping spree. I bought a new (3 year old) car to be my second vehicle, I paid for classes/Training to become an EMT (I’d like to volunteer on weekends) and I got a few things on amazon totaling under $100. 
I guess I’d like to know if any of you have been in a similar boat and how do you deal with it?
I’ve been off medication for 8 years, every time I tried a new med I landed in the hospital because my body chem is sensitive to everything. One med gave me anaphylactic response, another caused syncope, yet another gave me metabolic acidosis. I do a lot of independent therapy work to get by.",4.29059962406015,5.101907146428573,6.0452255639097725,77.96924812030078,70.39285714285714,10.323308270676687,30.808270676691734,10.426177893888326,3.2348214285714287,1091,45,221,31,19,377,166,280,0.098,0.7829999999999999,0.11800000000000001,0.5863,0,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,2,3,1,6,12,0,0,17,1,16,5,1,6,2,37,36,13,0,1,8,1,0,3,1,0,3,0,0,2,12,11,0,0,7,3,6,3,6,3,0,2,10,0,29,9,39,24,7,35,0,2,0,1,17,18,0,4,17,140,41,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07963731174261318,0.24559545339347086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08188448836972048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21416346211240786,0.12933635132563132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300803525792321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12030195726015035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2414659748043001,0.10086476633823456,0.11886193987781618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09866836233812956,0.0,0.21049785768000254,0.0,0.2207976006927048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10703439678726506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904771866301745,0.0,0.12236797173062502,0.0,0.06655505475856054,0.0,0.09366179618764783,0.12911174986776935,0.12900743150158225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12373080784955673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253663093008819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12871875547356038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17163884984909686,0.0,0.10340832245506072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09956085367530157,0.10569435100325922,0.11081022070018152,0.15634071590076798,0.0,0.0,0.1275647126253714,0.2601607051584642,0.1179737762020538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371552261178047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22620686308995816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12288492401839332,0.0,0.07935526802725107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11851933369934713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13406039964470834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339229618002555,0.0,0.15560242164294466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06828649302910399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0795085010001837,0.0,0.0,0.12191333749739235,0.0,0.0,0.12897768378911373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0852558645239127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12803898245899226,0.0,0.3016543041688311
bipolarreddit,anon1567854,2020/02/24,"What can I do? I am a mess and this will be all over the place so please bear with me. I have bipolar 1, adhd and ptsd (that’s due to childhood trauma). I am on only Lamictal right now once a day for a low dose. We’ve tried different combos and nothing worked.

I was on lamictal 200 mg/2 x a daytime five years...then my skin started falling off. We dialed it back to 200 mg once a day and skin has healed up. I was also taking lexapro but that caused suicidal thoughts. Wellbutrin made me angry. 

My husband and I have been together for 12 years, married for 8. I was diagnosed officially 10 years ago with the bipolar, 4 years ago with ADHD and a year ago with ptsd. My dad told em a few years ago I was diagnosed at 14 with bipolar and adhd but mental illness isn’t real so he never gave the ok to medicate me, thanks dad.

We have a ton of kids and I feel like I’m drowning. I have some outside help due to how much my husband works but I’m drowning. 

I yell way too much, I’m quick to anger (never would and never will hurt my kids or husband though!) and just not a happy person to be around the last three years. 

I know I need to exercise but no motivation, I know I need routine but with the kids it’s hard to get one together. I’m in therapy to deal with my trauma and that’s making my anger worse. 

How can I get my crap together and become a better person?",0.4295192307692304,2.5989501818181817,2.5837368881118903,92.45714379370632,85.64335664335664,5.533041958041959,20.825611888111887,6.9077264865688965,0.4558534965034964,1056,34,232,14,32,356,153,286,0.172,0.75,0.078,-0.9823,1,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,2,0,0,4,12,13,3,0,15,1,21,13,3,6,4,49,40,24,3,3,8,5,4,1,0,3,10,1,0,5,7,22,0,0,5,1,0,1,6,8,0,3,9,5,30,5,28,26,6,36,0,2,0,0,17,11,1,2,24,144,37,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35165472028106715,0.0,0.3458359361933229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07799878678417846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08682692048358003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07499847387202478,0.0,0.0,0.10771985853168324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08626187266723358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10019541825887164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258041453621451,0.10055440863894044,0.0,0.1979921532841695,0.0,0.10190342354713433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04931667877582021,0.06967909720879836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019161316097812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10382793100575598,0.08737229461335676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06537572371785892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10441334523601943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10720548390202216,0.07950412693828958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04765072473124958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09229007294040337,0.06510543875314709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09825635525265704,0.09829244351643644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14339904675785398,0.14464208630812267,0.22567525329015614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09358756204900172,0.0,0.0,0.2077434033961336,0.06609231015120849,0.07417984107759153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703277800058888,0.10190342354713433,0.1070642540630302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2280266323611918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11101630058405214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08329444520321637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06903584804971714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10668757230421322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07333425920702147,0.0,0.0,0.08979721876480609,0.11153989076857952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09582774367337042,0.07743197715769763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09319897087497547,0.0,0.06621993269504488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07741882502844769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420134335224939,0.0,0.09939660280962864,0.06928613888877404,0.0,0.0,0.3768564518500563
bipolarreddit,xav-y,2020/02/24,"Effects of mood stabilizers on your symptoms/episodes??? Just wondering what everyones experiences are on mood stabilizers and what have they done to change or alter your episodes and symptoms?
Ive been on lithium for several months now and an SSRI for about 2 years and i no longer seem to experience isolated hypomania but rather mixed states or depression.

What have your meds done for you?",7.603970588235295,9.780016161764712,6.893411764705885,69.86335294117649,63.852941176470594,11.322352941176472,37.12941176470589,11.20814326018867,4.795684705882356,321,16,52,10,5,99,48,68,0.132,0.868,0.0,-0.8504,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,4,1,1,4,3,0,0,1,0,7,1,0,1,0,12,9,7,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,7,0,10,6,0,7,0,1,0,0,5,3,0,4,3,38,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533323375748122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20625909274232396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4901312495089105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22882821021686475,0.0,0.4685041541200277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2660022570877017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1911463138161292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2180086508000176,0.0,0.27053809579192256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2489057671897852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2596999514655593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15421376898608585
bipolarreddit,couldyoufuck1ingnot,2020/02/24,"Feeling better after 2nd round of ECT I stopped taking my meds after the first treatment, just because I was giving up on them. I've been in a depression for about a year with no mania (hypo or otherwise) and no break from the low. Finally, after trying many different antidepressants at many different doses I was prescribed ECT. 

The first round was disappointing to say the least. I dont even remember waking up in the treatment center, just being put into the car afterward... and I didnt feel good. In fact I felt pretty damn shitty. Moody, sad, angry. Worse than before. I held it in until I was dropped off at home but then I just cried. This was supposed to work! Even if the pills had failed me ECT was supposed to fix me. My depression became worse and I stopped eating or taking pills. 

Fast forward to this last Friday, i decided to give it another go. Why not? At this point i thought i couldn't get any lower. I didn't feel much of a difference that day but waking up Saturday I felt... different. The heavy, dense feeling in my chest is lighter now. I actually left the house for the first time in weeks. I find myself smiling at cute/funny things. It's sad that smiling feels so strange and ""new."" 

I'm scheduled for more treatments, every Tuesday and Thursday until I feel I'm done.

Also, the first time didnt feel great but despite stopping all my meds I haven't hallucinated or had any delusional thoughts since then. 

Is this finally a way out? Am I going to feel even better with more treatments? For the first time in a long time I'm hopeful. I can't believe it came to this but it could mean a life without meds and their shitty side effects. 

Wish me luck, please. I'll post more updates as I get more shocks. Stay strong you guys.",2.474936974789916,4.932255779411765,3.4344537815126053,87.74147058823532,79.44117647058823,6.121008403361344,24.12605042016807,7.33818517376401,1.1510815126050429,1375,49,265,19,35,439,186,340,0.175,0.7040000000000001,0.12,-0.9539,4,0,0,0,0,0,50.0,0,1,2,11,10,17,1,0,18,0,22,8,3,1,2,52,50,21,0,5,13,0,12,0,0,0,4,1,1,1,13,11,1,4,17,0,0,6,11,10,0,5,19,13,33,7,43,28,7,69,0,7,2,0,7,24,1,6,36,169,46,2,0.0,0.0,0.07841928650232406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06426346844320761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10929444034790574,0.08426394940785821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048986409390186905,0.0,0.06838002141064001,0.09053764561440134,0.0,0.14214290659011172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919098676026203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06416052715573572,0.0,0.08827114467468462,0.051825233819821584,0.0,0.1384270506692758,0.0,0.0,0.33583432324382984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08223567553834593,0.09418074331957713,0.0,0.0,0.08222783708638917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15923008878185038,0.0,0.06770635023846418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3250574488039696,0.0,0.15431545689486562,0.17605982320956254,0.07344713325236582,0.3417687765681877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0839690510274384,0.15417632245242902,0.09134031904129172,0.0674017415557485,0.0,0.08859663978703762,0.0,0.07956854569740561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08060713729403078,0.07981512214281301,0.0,0.09272408141217414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06550372336868085,0.0,0.0,0.0873108391152349,0.0,0.05676029606716925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07111563462822547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1629438536606101,0.0,0.08753506094977273,0.2677838884370204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05907348367871454,0.0,0.0,0.07761171228436628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08821060680613986,0.07596570828205562,0.0,0.07696219396128985,0.08175450803773013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08078349963834378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09103165589659132,0.0,0.0,0.06390510509074998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06647421432168651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08565254192737032,0.0,0.20155243748575374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12084069628919855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053387285488770725,0.0,0.0,0.12759294408866967,0.1874330982707827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05455883008583607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06378563595985376,0.06445954903222946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07251195563929284,0.0,0.0924094667968404,0.07746369678491398,0.0,0.05850267792585433,0.0,0.16378640518327367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0517488875993598
bipolarreddit,Droggles,2020/02/24,"BP1 very stable for last 5 years, but a storms brewing. My wife is a liver transplant recipient (2014), Friday we found out that she needs a kidney transplant Here to vent, every just have a soul crushing week? Ours was so bad I’m almost delirious at this point. 

- wife’s uncle is dying in hospital
- I start a brand new job
- wife gets into accident, car is totaled
- while in hospital getting checked after accident we get a, “oh BTW your kidney biopsy came back and we are referring you to kidney transplant team

We are all crushed, exhausted, and struggling to just get through the day.",7.616819571865442,7.492475651376151,7.300504587155968,75.07840214067282,63.12844036697248,9.835474006116213,35.597859327217115,9.2995712137729,3.265952905198777,462,19,80,7,6,146,83,109,0.233,0.753,0.013999999999999999,-0.9829,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,5,2,0,1,5,3,0,1,7,0,7,5,4,0,2,18,16,5,1,1,3,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,9,0,0,2,1,1,2,0,3,0,0,3,0,10,0,11,13,2,17,1,0,0,0,12,6,0,1,9,48,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313765818465377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17767346409849938,0.19292825727868526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2642749322442254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14901675427812294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2398072914597928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1946808497117647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533490520412905,0.0,0.0,0.4828842832596038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2292947349438482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18834748114150354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17133055649005882,0.0,0.2231624366383535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21842956510311076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635478381986939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24155759711481375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19065147407657132,0.0,0.0,0.18534509294081614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14879723059948086
bipolarreddit,themightyloner,2020/02/24,"New to the subreddit and new to bipolar disorder I found this subreddit and I've been reading through some of the posts. I look forward to reading through more; it's nice to find other people going through some of the same things.

I've been diagnosed with Bipolar II since late July of last year, though I think I first started exhibiting the signs 10 years ago after a series of traumatic events took place in my life... but at the time, it was diagnosed as depression and anxiety. I self-harmed as well but I have been clean for six years now.

Anyway so I'm 22 and I am trying to build myself back up from Ground Zero because I am not functioning at all. I have been hospitalized twice in the last six months (the last time being Jan) and I may have to go back AGAIN because this medication they put me on in the hospital (Abilify) has made my life a complete hell in the weeks that I've been out and I don't have a psychiatrist to go to. There is a major shortage of mental health providers where I live, to the point where I need to go to a hospital to get an assessment done just to possibly have any hope of switching my dose or taking me off the medicine completely. I really don't want to be admitted again because last time (in a different facility) wasn't much help at all and the chaos does a number on my anxiety.

Aside from that, I have been really depressed because I am unemployed and I have had an insanely hard time finding a job. I did a lot of ""job hopping"" around over the years; I have probably had over 20+ jobs since I first started working at age 15, the longest one being just over a year. I went to college and got a technical diploma but the whole 'need exp to get a job, need job to get exp' rabbit hole has me trapped and I can't find work in my field. So that is definitely a huge stressor.

My family, for the most part, doesn't care. The small amount of irl friends I had left after they found out about my dx. I have a few online friends but I am slowly discovering how toxic they are; they constantly make me feel bad about myself and tell me I'm constantly playing the victim whenever I mention feeling depressed... even though they have mental problems too. It's confusing. Has anyone had exp with something like this before? It makes me feel really bad about myself.

I'm just really sad, lonely and struggling with my disorder. I hope someone here can relate to me. Maybe we can talk.

Thanks for listening. ♡",5.433561549100971,5.864869188796682,6.0257925311203335,80.47712586445367,67.6929460580913,9.746168741355463,31.2118948824343,9.725611199111238,2.783130899031812,1927,73,383,40,30,627,238,482,0.17300000000000001,0.74,0.087,-0.9939,8,3,1,0,0,0,50.0,1,0,5,4,25,22,2,2,34,0,44,10,0,4,2,59,80,24,0,7,9,0,4,1,2,1,10,1,1,0,12,19,0,0,10,3,0,8,6,12,1,7,20,6,51,10,64,56,14,71,1,5,1,0,14,29,1,9,36,263,63,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06243300651834145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04789562911267423,0.0,0.10775934577171743,0.0,0.0,0.04924713051230032,0.0,0.0,0.0626986975637904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10831448598795296,0.11761421507551295,0.17173681576083735,0.0,0.05993176109920021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07180929928076966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14769153997884793,0.15222220551737908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18198686018004864,0.14297236467249091,0.0,0.0735856102935827,0.1614405071482128,0.0,0.061634815075857184,0.07207556766615175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04651914133111305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06639626426570737,0.0,0.1068363881913963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19311851412276612,0.11981748028679852,0.0,0.15444834425119588,0.10882993609836407,0.0,0.11039218039320342,0.0,0.16011068925040234,0.0,0.05633026221087337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06309251836765564,0.0,0.0,0.07486506884350434,0.0,0.0,0.04720854668771903,0.0,0.0,0.1399081408191031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34946047629006344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2296433033540423,0.07944945792331977,0.0,0.0765237015619119,0.0,0.09949527460335496,0.034409125211172745,0.0,0.06219203726362362,0.0,0.059144466885328775,0.0,0.0,0.05987808500097672,0.0,0.06664370150643308,0.0940267417387769,0.0,0.0707576039296418,0.0,0.0,0.07095202118646743,0.14195616185670104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05621750945035156,0.0,0.05177503367349539,0.15667152031742873,0.0,0.1360457777921297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0477260018250505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07627012282365772,0.0,0.04882812384838238,0.0,0.0735856102935827,0.0,0.06658024648970462,0.07940059207604068,0.06745361769425573,0.0,0.07593674264553159,0.0673931435374468,0.0,0.07080280615895218,0.0,0.0,0.14090051325848033,0.0,0.18048011303269704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07347509888910854,0.0,0.0,0.116522827861076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059676124615394614,0.054221376366823726,0.0,0.0,0.09970312741305999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07362997930144219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05295549483360035,0.05660992821974591,0.06155997051242219,0.06484358341914051,0.0,0.0,0.046791357674976455,0.0451294671166062,0.13839658680358968,0.0,0.1642759893301169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07825165130803334,0.04781815950188337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04154214476878239,0.0,0.05649565784664471,0.0,0.0633261045021464,0.06529042518991797,0.0,0.07863391614837584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10254950041797414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22677690828213265
bipolarreddit,lunalavendermoon,2020/02/24,"anxious, frustrated, and feeling of doom.... (politics warning) I do not want to start up controversy but I am actually afraid of what’s going on in the country right now and am apprehensive towards fellow Americans. I don’t want to debate anyone on this sub as this is a support sub so if politics is a heated topic for you and you agree with me you might enjoy, if you don’t agree with me you probably won’t enjoy this post but I want to be clear this is not meant to cause controversy or debate. 

All of my core principles as a person are to do unto others as you would want to have done unto yourself, having compassion, empathy, support the needs of people especially those who need it the most, I believe in integrity, justice, fairness, equity, caring for the needs of people and living as one essentially the song Imagine by John Lennon(haha). Which is why I am an avid Bernie Sanders supporter because of all those reasons and concepts being mirrored into policy and the concept of breaking a corrupt system that is structured to only benefit a few while the rest struggle which is a reality. And no it’s not just because it’s cool and I’m young, I have supported is campaign since 2015 and have informed myself a lot on the beliefs I’m voting for. 

The blatant ignorance and uninformed mentality a lot of Americans though makes me feel overwhelmingly frustrated. The denial of reality and perpetuate lies going on is endless, of course it’s been this way for a lot time it has only become more divisive. I feel incredibly passionate about this and am not going to talk about all the things I believe in because I mostly want to address my emotions about it and I’m not handling it well.

I recently feel VERY on edge about politics. It’s a very touchy topic for me and I’ve cried multiple times within the last month over this particularly and the frustration and anxiety that I have is so intense that I can physically feel it in my chest throughout most of the day. My heart feels heavy (I know I sound like an over dramatic cry baby but this is how I feel) I actually feel so emotionally burdened to the point of wanting to kill myself because I cannot handle the let down of everything I believe in morally being lost to everything that I loath about humanity, lies, injustice, corruption, social hierarchy (in this case money), the needs of struggling people being ignored, the distortion of reality, the lack of compassion and empathy.

I feel like I am going to crack. What doesn’t help is that sadly the majority of people I know are not voting or care at all and the other are huge trump supporters or generally very right leaning. There are only a handful of people in my life or that I see at all that support some degree of what I support. I don’t want to have hate in my heart because that makes me no better but I feel incredibly angry towards the ignorance and lack of compassion of these people that I know who support these things. I’m starting to lose faith in humanity and just starting to doubt myself and I  feel like an idiot for caring so much about other people because the majority that I know seem to not care at all. I feel overwhelming anxiety that is a bundle of irritability and sadness. I know these emotions are being exacerbated by my current mood state being more depressive leaning but also I feel this is sprinkling some mixed state in which is typically what I deal with.",6.8695461977110455,7.442008003110423,7.760062208398138,68.79227020776011,64.61430793157076,10.700626071699167,35.46074091797264,10.560738912317856,3.989339147425929,2738,122,460,66,39,922,267,643,0.175,0.6709999999999999,0.154,-0.865,1,0,0,0,0,1,50.0,0,6,0,3,18,47,6,7,38,1,51,6,4,5,8,110,110,45,1,16,20,0,14,3,1,3,1,2,1,3,49,26,0,3,24,1,1,4,15,23,1,1,4,18,55,23,88,96,23,53,4,8,1,1,17,30,0,17,16,358,104,0,0.0,0.0,0.10694894500784144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04382155499681879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08383990189560311,0.061905597352210226,0.0,0.03831569838534495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2004243485630582,0.060519552925318174,0.0,0.18521411212407066,0.0,0.04846395121087358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2234788848716961,0.056292145207456415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120384999898109,0.03533986554219898,0.05649383445586796,0.04719702158086871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05607688575802458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849194951402804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09849695084143294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.360194527689173,0.0782947149912186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12457076815990015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0541012038277255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12987064430230574,0.036729620939951656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06062533425507222,0.0,0.15057641286691067,0.044667290540562926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05603417435291251,0.03870510720941447,0.08031389745432388,0.0,0.048387211944622005,0.0,0.0,0.06130440549012859,0.059817963567790074,0.13976066956123084,0.0,0.0,0.07315553696514082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05522300918917545,0.05813150655376587,0.0,0.0,0.04373885571946061,0.0,0.04028248049151291,0.16252665974265432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03713221607115403,0.12502794413065152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2659278931877507,0.047847078696665934,0.0,0.0,0.0518013662193835,0.0,0.05248087439181737,0.0,0.05908099207617864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056340974567764865,0.05410593777105089,0.0,0.0,0.09359356117940676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043666526838682836,0.04988560193794135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04532907278950328,0.0,0.0,0.055859168340714783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163578949157332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11457252634561567,0.0,0.0,0.4974685883983994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044044168923548836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07281007153370693,0.0,0.05383828278282221,0.0,0.06390574632114639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13564107254771698,0.2262469692910149,0.043495718826505915,0.0,0.0,0.0492695492058577,0.0,0.04944623639140058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03892658425871202,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Downtown_MB,2020/02/24,"Bipolar, PTSD & Now Cancer at 26? If you're reading this I appreciate it loads... 💕

Have you ever on your darkest days wished for a physical illness rather than a mental one? 

I did. After being diagnosed with bipolar and PTSD a year and a half ago I often wished to have any other illness - one that could be either cured or not. One without a huge stigma. 

Well (if your Squamish look away) I've been shitting blood for months, A LOT of blood the type that is like turning on a tap and decided it's time to see a doctor. 

Fast forward through rubber gloves and KY jelly and I've been told I've been referred for a urgent bowel cancer screening and colonoscopy because there's no obvious/common answer(aka tearing or piles) - the nurse sat me down and said I hope this isn't sinister but promise me you will attend the appointment because I've never seen this before in someone your age. 

I'm 26, on the low side of average weight, ex smoker, eat pretty healthy... Ex vegetarian and I'm like what the hell is this real? I'm literally the girl that drank kale and spinach smoothies every day for years and never went near gluten or sugar.

I haven't told any family or friends but am pretty freaked out. 

Have any of you had to be checked for cancer or had physical health issues on top of the mental health stuff?",5.196989889705883,6.075374039062503,5.632159926470589,81.50420036764707,68.375,8.054779411764706,29.902573529411764,8.124751697461798,2.047093106617647,1038,38,196,13,17,333,155,256,0.139,0.755,0.107,-0.8647,1,0,1,0,0,0,31.0,0,6,0,1,6,10,2,0,16,0,19,19,4,0,3,37,35,19,0,7,13,2,1,2,1,1,11,1,0,1,12,12,4,0,2,1,1,3,7,4,1,4,13,7,13,6,27,17,2,31,1,1,4,0,13,15,2,10,17,122,25,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10551989868507138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12897749373512582,0.0,0.2428495220685425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118400071710932,0.0,0.0,0.14512877410650232,0.0,0.10129246870960244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09504206133961096,0.0,0.0,0.15353917026546232,0.0,0.0,0.12082094293003698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218403147084525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12180546954077658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10767657791517356,0.10029454834162836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11221831958911703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919683711501904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2530634009142807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11823147456555198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12424462017854165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11631179110550185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09996183912253216,0.0,0.0,0.10120174912452706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23992437097259006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950149004883407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18361870371268346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419894455544143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422086386183017,0.0,0.0,0.2782978242122373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11907009379198776,0.13549116866180413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1132322837092099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09485777883308727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12219067366261455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10086040981358484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1362698935529845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06941194536823778,0.0,0.0,0.22749159205439914,0.0,0.0,0.12947903134279207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14495606939757627,0.10702935040015504,0.11034930776754134,0.0,0.0,0.27377537564015786,0.114748268878066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15331298440041904
bipolarreddit,imissthem0untains,2020/02/25,"Seroquel making me more depressed? For some background I have bipolar II and panic disorder (along with some other stuff that’s not relevant here). I’m currently on lithium and lamictal. I used to be on 25mg of seroquel, but was taken off of it and put on lithium instead because it made me too sluggish and exhausted. Now I’m allowed to take 25-50mg on an as-needed basis, but I no longer take it daily.

Recently I’ve been having awful panic attacks, especially at night. I’d wake up 5 or so times a night having a bad panic attack. I started taking seroquel to help me sleep. At first I was taking 25mg but it wasn’t helping much at all so I upped it to 50mg. I’m able to more or less sleep through the night now, but I feel like the seroquel might be launching me into a pretty bad depression. I never felt particularly stable when I was on seroquel but I thought when my medication changed the improvement in my mood was because I was put on lithium, not because I was taken off seroquel. But now I’m wondering if seroquel always made me depressed to a degree and that depression is worse now because I’m taking 50mg rather than the 25mg I took before.

I’m not sure if I’m explaining this well, so sorry if it’s confusing. I was just wondering if anyone else had a similar experience. It’s really concerning me because I’m in my last semester of college and I have missed tons of classes and assignments.",3.632362355953905,5.136775795774646,5.5241229193341885,78.44987836107558,72.73239436619718,8.262227912932138,31.21895006402049,8.841846274778883,2.762202816901409,1122,52,208,22,22,387,141,284,0.25,0.6829999999999999,0.067,-0.9955,2,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,1,15,18,2,4,10,1,18,6,3,6,3,46,46,24,0,5,17,0,2,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,12,10,0,0,6,0,0,3,6,14,1,1,17,2,24,3,31,26,8,35,0,5,0,0,3,16,0,12,17,143,36,3,0.0960019499380111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07988131290428922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06712679555317481,0.098365342697061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21843215469193933,0.0,0.0,0.1603152363882229,0.29260948812163856,0.0,0.08169058851952618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10155733363012404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3307453552342948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11002655184785044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0801973104720531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09390832836928237,0.0,0.0,0.04854147042450357,0.06858381221781172,0.09217692705664768,0.0,0.0,0.08165920957465339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286961668183904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07825440240905145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046901703493913816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18167873252277256,0.06408204705098082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09671186464516833,0.0,0.10184289782188063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0705724793303724,0.07118422944274452,0.07404262212467745,0.0,0.0,0.27027397999914626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3379128104298463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09766849641096066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19301695120839435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06150130740071135,0.0,0.09479034380224917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1921425627962571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074663231601978,0.06795067428544886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10989926441373413,0.0,0.0,0.09048070168016592,0.0,0.3609075938165006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07621482472891249,0.05597950903608495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10666169875096998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.082914861114305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08631728236496611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20822003907753092,0.0,0.0,0.09783418866286933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,carrotparrotcarrot,2020/02/25,"feel like my brain is so much busier now hey I used to be tartansheep but have locked myself out that account, if anyone here remembers me :) 

I work in a library now. It’s quiet. It’s silent a lot actually and my brain whirs away like a bee against a window pane. Sleeping less. Eating less. Talking more. On 50mg lamotrigine a day, couldn’t hack the sertraline so went off that. No psychiatrist for over a year, too healthy/too well/too cheerful. 

 I live with my boyfriend. On my old account when I was manic I said I was going on a date! Well it worked out. He is so lovely. Yesterday just wanted to kiss him and not sleep at all. Obviously I didn’t do this, but I was alarmed at how enticing the idea was of not sleeping and instead walking up into the hills to look for spring creeping ever closer over the horizon.

Seasons changing do something to me, something deep.

I guess my question is - when is dangerland?",1.6982176110667735,4.2803149217877134,2.9622186751795714,89.00679702048419,84.13966480446928,5.64416068103219,25.28358606012237,7.07126945348624,1.2291194998669863,717,30,141,10,21,231,119,179,0.033,0.8170000000000001,0.15,0.9729,0,0,2,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,2,14,7,0,1,11,0,14,8,5,2,3,26,23,12,0,3,6,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,6,7,1,0,4,0,2,3,5,1,1,0,7,4,18,6,23,14,6,31,0,0,1,2,7,16,0,4,14,101,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.14864622563200394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10650846433348556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14311338777681734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3400878631059522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16113856705969898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09823636178562087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15586545312947764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377857552001111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07701957808052498,0.10882027746533464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08656922473471299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16780203052379114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1719552257144269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14883559903597912,0.0,0.13450485975147344,0.0,0.12791377439149834,0.0,0.0,0.1295003955426611,0.13747833366501586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11197564751516156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15983838706838596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1706377118653422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725533687641832,0.0,0.1448949811183417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.457301941673613,0.0,0.0,0.2345328741310493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12243224037607693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13155900642856158,0.0,0.0,0.0898446264465548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2739150920097088,0.14120584997173813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2217873344916311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09809164512191368
bipolarreddit,loudflower,2020/02/25,"Open Payments Search Tool by Doctor's Name I came across this. Maybe it's been shared here before, but it was new to me. Cross posted to r/depressionregimens and r/bipolar

From the site's description: The Open Payments Search Tool is used to search payments made by drug and medical device companies to physicians and teaching hospitals.

​

[https://openpaymentsdata.cms.gov/search/physicians/by-name-and-location](https://openpaymentsdata.cms.gov/search/physicians/by-name-and-location)",17.436129032258066,22.592736806451626,10.942774193548393,38.6941612903226,43.838709677419345,8.830967741935485,33.36774193548387,9.3871,3.4169896774193567,430,13,45,6,5,114,45,62,0.0,0.97,0.03,0.1779,0,0,1,0,0,0,37.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,3,4,0,2,0,10,6,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,2,1,8,2,0,8,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,23,5,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28888607723697635,0.3239763168949369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22687666732972805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3049458602999853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27290009711095564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3091982127522841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522852761037668,0.0,0.0,0.2678587959599978,0.0,0.0,0.2685947786591709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2575063047010228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2553512812092308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23027680057935135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3239763168949369,0.0
bipolarreddit,ashmack24,2020/02/25,"Ups and downs outside of mania and depression Luckily I'm quite stable on my meds so haven't had any mania for 6 months or any severe depression for around 3 months but the normal life up and downs are really getting to me. One week I feel like ""fuck yeah I've got my shit together"" then the next I'm like "" I have no fucking clue what I'm doing"" is this what ""normal"" people are like or is it something else. I'm confused man",1.2430961298377028,3.339247292134832,3.1161048689138577,90.3348564294632,81.69662921348315,6.202746566791513,20.001248439450688,7.3871296695380915,0.5684222222222224,335,9,71,5,9,112,62,89,0.21,0.633,0.158,-0.7546,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,2,9,3,1,2,1,8,4,1,0,0,11,17,8,0,2,3,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,6,0,1,2,1,5,3,10,15,0,11,0,2,0,2,1,6,3,3,8,39,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25320275204153514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16572997439103082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3206943562260097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15552039927922004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09413269369737733,0.13299924645131395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3442206770259311,0.09726567398481076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14889644085748244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13149674516975526,0.2728584641298258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20679190783112936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2971968083405607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979929561641422,0.0,0.3648123926707577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12615300425028064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129066217152618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19801376012988933,0.0,0.0,0.11926469637015767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2103180987346556,0.1910999118815487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14332207311926326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14933362720338514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,DoubleDigitTicket,2020/02/25,"How do i deal with paranoia and delusional thinking? At certain times i experience more or less paranoid or delusional thinking. Its related to my stressors, how much energy i have to deal with my stressors and if ive become stuck in a way of thinking. Im at a point where i can recognize the shifting focus and moods but i cant always shake off the thought patterns. Especially if they are extremely positive and delusional when in psychosis nos. Ive talked with my dr.'s and they agreed to atleast tell me what they are prescribing me meds for. So that i can at least know when they believe im not thinking straight and then try and recognize the symptoms myself as they happen. 

Are there any specific strategies anyone's used to help recognize when there's a problem and ways to correct problematic thinking. Ive used the 4 step solution for ocd i find it helps. Ill probably go back and read it again.

Ive never been consistent enough to commit to a mood journal but I'd like to start doing it again. The fact that i can commit to a mood journal is probably because of the up and down in energy levels. Any good apps out there?",4.120565656565656,6.046167218181817,4.999393939393941,80.98853535353534,72.27272727272728,8.525252525252526,31.313131313131308,9.150863307647796,2.9066464646464647,908,42,168,20,18,295,126,220,0.09300000000000001,0.742,0.165,0.9571,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,5,0,13,8,0,1,11,0,16,2,0,4,6,40,29,24,0,3,7,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,7,14,0,0,8,1,0,3,3,2,0,0,3,0,23,3,27,26,5,29,0,0,0,0,11,14,0,4,11,117,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11491772920122655,0.0,0.0,0.18783767517420344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09656900510346562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10619727526599104,0.0,0.08418994804945533,0.15253050998908196,0.0,0.1556015183738569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28476857360218205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142703487947298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13509707661178902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12622909925169568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0784905120689198,0.11583925400251975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12212930869721195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18514306675695044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2983627808813531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07590107968992632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06747306804593597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15340793454514146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10152598616479958,0.0,0.10651815411280688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13055762023430756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2978096637019418,0.13215163512076675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13814634723276542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09775424192053646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14354810391089787,0.0,0.1110067610090307,0.12071332978676758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.442473266458816,0.0,0.10964309762672697,0.08053245278948093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09376692694455256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2385636191960832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21924894862113786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,katkatkat2,2020/02/25,"How to help someone starting a manic phase? SIL seems to be starting a manic phase again.   She asked for some help,  like getting rides to places,  getting some official and necessary paperwork filled out. 
I don't expect to fix anything for her, but would like to help her do some things so her life can be easier for her to manage but she is mean and hurtful when in a manic phase.
I realize some of this is just how her bipolar disorder  manifests. I have asked her about  her therapy and if she is staying on her  meds. She said yes.

 How do I balance protecting myself, mostly emotionally,  and providing some friendship and support? 

Example, I put limits on the help I offer, like, I can take you grocery shopping on Friday at 6 pm. I need to be home by 7:30 pm.   When I showed up,  she had promised rides to 2 or more other random people, not neighbors, not people I know.   They wanted to go 3 or 4 places. When I say no, I won't do that, she got nasty. I refused and  walked out.    Then the manic behavior really kicked in.  Mostly screaming, posting on social media stuff like that.",2.4537981316928708,4.830115181818184,3.8177443609022568,85.41754385964914,79.0,6.660378218272957,24.78491683754841,7.793537801064563,1.5369328320802,839,31,158,14,21,275,122,209,0.096,0.7290000000000001,0.17600000000000002,0.9478,1,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,1,1,1,10,8,0,0,5,1,16,2,0,3,0,37,32,19,0,5,8,0,0,4,1,2,2,3,2,0,6,8,0,3,4,2,1,6,5,2,0,0,3,3,30,6,25,24,8,27,0,1,0,0,28,12,0,12,11,114,36,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11953657647800195,0.0,0.2715969223183773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16648050773471434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16339791222214647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15178467549395036,0.0,0.08255458716965862,0.0,0.11617766593220978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3894587776424209,0.0,0.14570759139189007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555037997769335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07983107937977635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10260141104465516,0.2838667314445099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1582306892602945,0.16135107761564713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077084254782455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20140994335577334,0.0,0.3035314985079342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13911889550710352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14602638862579184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930572549122306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13817549349478805,0.11551655663509512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13223921902481656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14807424406627726,0.12307829925843942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20563150559514207,0.15482779813040468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16628790989079362,0.0,0.1648392899543938,0.0,0.0,0.1092174178955858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1661174326137265,0.0,0.0965042679923586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0856780925142487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10318851335260093,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,thebakening,2020/02/25,"Quick meal ideas for those days you just can’t cook? Came here because I figured others would relate to the times when it’s just hard to exist, let alone get up and prepare a meal. I haven’t bought any frozen dinners in years, and I’m pretty tired of my go-to protein bars. Just looking for something quick and easy, with as few steps from “I’m hungry” to “I’m eating” as possible 🙏🏻🤞🏼 what do you all eat?",1.2233620689655176,2.97039574712644,2.485732758620692,96.61066810344828,80.0344827586207,4.8097701149425305,20.070402298850574,5.148860815047168,-0.3854356321839081,318,8,73,1,8,102,68,87,0.081,0.8440000000000001,0.075,0.2869,0,1,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,2,0,0,7,0,0,0,2,0,5,8,0,0,1,12,12,6,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,5,7,0,2,2,1,2,2,0,0,0,2,2,5,0,12,8,2,10,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,6,40,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460272929657264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16154026433084426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14480658844713826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27169075132968873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1531983135393255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4861402463293158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12410862487976923,0.0,0.13500356683309225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2127956618010622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26816191178998033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24290814013381706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19947984798125595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2677988131613246,0.0,0.2416709358063173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18287546552679249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385157019086722,0.2730255998068957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16874673881144786,0.0,0.0,0.15297262980656107
bipolarreddit,TheDarkHeadache,2020/02/25,"The Big 3 Is it PTSD? Is it Borderline Personality Disorder? Or is It Bipolar?

So had an appointment with a new psychiatrist last week and we have got ourselves a working diagnosis of PTSD, this is based upon things like my parents separating when I was a child, the arguments and physicality and that my mum had PND after I was born. However now that I’ve had a week of my brain working itself into a tornado, I’ve come to the conclusion that personally I don’t feel my childhood was traumatic to any degree. I lived with my mum and still saw my dad frequently, he did disappear for a year but once the connection had been fixed everything’s as normal again. The physicality was more getting a few slaps when I’d got into trouble at home or school.

I’m still adamant that I have bipolar disorder and the more I speak to people with the illness, including my uncle, the more I’m told my symptoms are identical to theirs, however PTSD, BPD and Bipolar all look the same and sound the same until you look deeper into the narrative, I’m fairly confident I don’t have PTSD as I’m not avoiding situations because of previous traumatic experiences, I’m not thinking back to traumatic times and me waking up every 2/3 hours while I sleep is not because of nightmares.

The reason I’m avoiding going out, meeting up with friends or even working is because 1. I’m highly volatile mood and temper wise presently and 2. I’ve taken a bit of a knock to my confidence, where I have secluded myself for the past 2 years while I’m awaiting a diagnosis and 3. I don’t want to fall back into the heavy drinking and recklessness of taking cocaine because I feel with my compulsions and nature I’d fall back into that lifestyle very quickly, no mater how hard I try to avoid it. 

Maybe it is PTSD, I’m no expert and I don’t know what my sub conscious is thinking, but deep down I don’t feel like this is what I’m battling, and personally feel that PTSD has been pulled out of the bag because it poses the least risk to my health, where if they said bipolar or bpd it would mean and increase in medication and putting myself at more risk of side effects, which is also what the psychiatrist kept saying throughout my appointment. 

The only thing I can do is play along and see what the outcome is with this EMDR therapy, even though I have nothing which I consider traumatic to talk about and think is a waste of my time and the NHS’s money and resources.",6.694549929676516,6.665890803797471,7.338523206751058,73.71737693389593,65.0126582278481,10.566526019690578,35.488045007032355,10.25414643259724,3.6171454289732767,1947,85,360,42,27,646,230,474,0.113,0.807,0.08,-0.9487,3,3,2,0,0,0,34.0,1,1,2,5,19,14,2,5,32,0,39,12,3,3,1,71,73,39,0,4,10,4,5,2,1,1,8,4,1,4,25,37,1,4,13,2,1,8,10,8,0,0,18,13,38,5,47,54,11,56,0,0,4,0,20,20,0,5,30,243,63,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06436626199233546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0547346319157672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1856710194081354,0.0,0.2453238315061595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08787210094691489,0.0,0.2027437547984928,0.08985127928814647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06933332546892726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844925497118882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07884764380078864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10632319169693263,0.0,0.0678146508983586,0.0,0.0723374666162132,0.07873275427184365,0.0,0.0,0.1627886995452696,0.0575006767572015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062184865342797324,0.0,0.042051682461368506,0.0,0.045743211876830316,0.0,0.12874728758975287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07210148052066366,0.0,0.0,0.08555503001866692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08504004060526542,0.08073607359218296,0.0,0.07926451307216376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04423412560855603,0.06560850078529516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.078644788172485,0.0,0.07107241998446426,0.0,0.1351793758552429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08086106139705626,0.08767507890719281,0.0,0.08108323943683919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07773585720764642,0.0,0.0,0.07886119668979248,0.07723045173430698,0.0,0.0,0.08571714305745665,0.0,0.061214786565354326,0.0,0.0,0.08937245091699107,0.0,0.07683494813772895,0.05580027730070003,0.2108371738415762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5645173174450301,0.08091271803940364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08275511743468535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0765625641386611,0.06400732541465719,0.0,0.08145820047143247,0.0641385525227949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09047193698468836,0.08054617436225378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285557163819427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08365789900756118,0.06051699437574399,0.06469324323095398,0.0,0.0,0.09204509618428018,0.0,0.1069453637681155,0.15472047138400602,0.07907909737726433,0.0,0.09386645478055823,0.0,0.0,0.07690977801172087,0.0,0.05464610044202206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06641106804753609,0.0474739354098832,0.0,0.12912531244973002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1757887701606044,0.0,0.0,0.05717639917261881,0.0,0.0,0.10366332654378764
bipolarreddit,BMHG,2020/02/25,"Quetiapine side effects I’ve recently been put on Quetiapine (first time ever on such medication) and I’m wondering whether the side effects eventually disappear as they do with antidepressants (which I’m on x2).
I’m trying to decide whether to stick with it or maybe ask for something else. This makes me really tired.",7.1792105263157895,8.943268631578945,7.7710087719298295,64.72914473684212,64.43859649122807,12.015789473684213,37.05701754385965,11.698219412168324,5.111459649122807,260,13,42,9,4,86,44,57,0.091,0.909,0.0,-0.624,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,3,1,12,8,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,9,7,0,11,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,2,4,24,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27134771921299433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.242469445767738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2625507900852287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24688936787097826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19374637803505945,0.0,0.2915985224265991,0.0,0.0,0.2923997336276024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29178480492551473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18594374090186372,0.0,0.2865901860122106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.223451224383233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16924907394568536,0.3336035503126545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970629851990696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3147673979070609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,softhotdogg,2020/02/25,"medication help/advice posted this in the panic attack subreddit but thought i'd post it here:
So I've been taking Lexapro and Seroquel for a handful of months now. I've had Depression/Anxiety Disorder and Panic Disorder for years, but just recently got onto those medications through my pyschiatrist. She wanted to put me on the medications that my sister is on (she has bipolar depression) to see if they'd help. Lexapro has improved my panic attacks a ton, and my anxiety is definitely lessened. My depression is still about the same, but I've noticed that the Seroquel she gave me to 'help me sleep' makes me really fucked up - I took the normal dosage I'm prescribed last night (25 mg) and was hallucinating, my body was numb, and I ended up sleeping till 5 pm, while waking up off and on. Is this normal? Should I be looking for a different medication or something else for my depression? looking for advice, thanks <3",7.572352941176473,8.05341329411765,7.907058823529412,68.65176470588237,63.11764705882353,11.270588235294118,37.588235294117645,11.00357731598739,4.4344,740,35,123,19,10,243,103,170,0.228,0.68,0.092,-0.9827,1,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,1,0,6,11,3,3,8,0,13,12,5,1,0,19,26,14,0,5,6,1,1,0,0,1,6,0,0,0,6,6,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,10,0,0,8,4,18,1,21,15,2,23,0,3,3,1,8,9,1,2,10,84,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2085729549670153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16328246973063099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2428209753875975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11854291725838012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2757557943203517,0.0,0.0,0.11150067865877347,0.2446229098083884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08915165983575102,0.0,0.09452308550248352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09866179886649798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08535449309288108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21459841019898884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08699181834349523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17923743977429846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07123706302168935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4300405192232383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08518364434584108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10015038237362976,0.2091277445658892,0.0,0.12150250924917047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3756421225632287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20441833996870096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10728403156774838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06836817350318566,0.0,0.10537406350200344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08504278017473373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21359604577201735,0.0,0.0,0.08215900144869583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0852274887602855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08024087303346783,0.0,0.0,0.09825431261703467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847245136860441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185709025474553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06294678152671652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06872479300426855
bipolarreddit,flyingcockters,2020/02/25,"I’m crashing and I’m scared So, this has been a really shitty week and I would really appreciate some words or encouragement.


They found a lump in my breasts, probably nothing (I’m 25f) but having a follow up on Wednesday with my new doctor. Had to get an ultra sound which brought up very painful memories of my abortion.


Since it’s a new doctor they also did some blood work. Guess who has Herpes, oral and genital. Never had a cold sore or symptoms so I had no idea. Obviously pretty upset, though I do know it’s fairly common.


Had a one hour long panic attack Saturday night. Was triggered while super drunk, yelled at all my friends, and then just thought about how scared I was about my health. My future. Was hyperventilating in the bathroom for almost an hour. 


The panic attack Saturday and one I had today (more mild, but was on and off for hours) has triggered my first cold sore outbreak. I don’t have antivirals because I’ve never had symptoms. Yay.


Today the guy I’ve been seeing and who I have incredibly strong feelings for blew me off. We just spent the best week together and he leaves for a two week trip tomorrow morning. I don’t know why he’d do this and he’s awful with communicating.


I emailed my Dr tonight. Told her I needed an emergency phone session tomorrow as soon as possible. I always been very anti benzos because I’ve had several friends die and I’ve been known to party quite a bit, but honestly I’m not functional. 


I’m in school right now and really can’t fuck this up like I did a few years ago. I can’t miss school because of panic attacks or sleeping all day. 


When 3+ stressful things happen around the same time it always almost triggers a depressive episode. 


Oh, and since I’m coming off a three week hypomanic episode it’s almost certain. I’ve been so good for over a year. 


I’m so scared right now. I can’t go through this again. Not when I’m so close to being happy. 


tl;dr- hypomanic episode + possible breast cancer + positive for hsv 1 and 2 + daily panic attacks + first cold sore outbreak + ignored by someone I’m dating and falling in love with for unknown reason = me, someone very, very, very scared :(",2.2090181331135383,4.758178883886258,3.6745559447764258,85.0576014836184,81.25118483412322,6.323593653410264,24.576756645373997,7.586124646067393,1.4453948485472905,1707,65,322,28,46,561,218,422,0.226,0.626,0.149,-0.9905,0,0,0,0,0,0,55.0,1,0,2,7,19,32,5,10,20,2,34,19,4,5,6,60,62,34,1,2,10,0,1,1,2,1,12,2,0,1,12,21,1,1,8,1,1,6,10,19,0,6,23,7,29,13,36,36,9,63,0,2,1,4,17,18,1,9,40,187,41,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06294689108457728,0.0,0.21332151987464065,0.0,0.0,0.05678740261033221,0.11817353873510855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06321476902659356,0.0,0.3231406665086885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12986278300245374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0745215736640277,0.0,0.07752552688677818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06116961504127751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04579616521790582,0.0,0.061161596541151886,0.0,0.07369811799587331,0.0,0.0,0.1453653598086449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03590525197264996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12080369506834306,0.0,0.07785980241811037,0.10972571266951077,0.06564844613150897,0.03710027191978208,0.0,0.04035713911503221,0.059560585929880776,0.0,0.0,0.07822652808068921,0.07031196960105526,0.06279471710909845,0.07559243884826229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0754812814139747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20979433994832086,0.0,0.0,0.08016267890789143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07805148294453365,0.0,0.0,0.07519030520971579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03469234588833977,0.0,0.0,0.06284242468318207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06409012271998665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05265369327029012,0.10953598977752596,0.13716556729783588,0.0,0.06663893277682573,0.0,0.06813688756597608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09623766678291304,0.0,0.07556061959018928,0.3332640316871629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16010827285702384,0.0,0.07224362885503308,0.07656177613713985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07552884839747907,0.0,0.0,0.13647423035758974,0.07301104688024909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12128586584423046,0.0,0.0,0.28437725317540785,0.1437336729802708,0.056586504982837176,0.0,0.0,0.08022212084733829,0.0,0.11748192443821058,0.0,0.07106219765839412,0.0,0.12033463470676685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08134276255328313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476150593627012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04717649620799467,0.0,0.0697678628806985,0.05637473405753226,0.041407035256007516,0.0,0.13462008757369415,0.06785397183920573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06936734510403794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2929572063270256,0.0,0.0,0.2278426889584148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06407630522759783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051696791437487816,0.0,0.0,0.050444116205026805,0.0,0.0,0.0914574014111521
bipolarreddit,Alert-Artichoke,2020/02/25,"Diagnosed with Bipolar I 10 months ago but i'm not sure if I have it. Disclaimer: This is quite a long post and also this my first time posting on Reddit

This all started with suicidal thoughts that I would have from high school. I'm not sure when it started but it was existing during 11th grade. They would come for a while and go for a while. I knew something about this was wrong so I explained this during my pediatrics visit for blood work. He asked how i was performing in school and I told him not that bad, mostly B average student. \*Next paragraph not important at all/can be skipped \*

To be honest though, high school education wasn't hard, I've been recommended to honors at least once in every single subject and took AP Calc, Stat, and Chem in my final year. However, i would always be sent back down to regular classes, because I never studied, and barely passed these classes. For example, I was the top student in my chem class and me and the other kid were the only ones recommended to AP Chem without honors, except I never studied, and half the stuff felt like I've heard it before. However, I was doing pretty bad straight of the bat for AP Chem so the teacher and principal (calls under performing students) told me to switch my classes and I did. I finished with a 3.3 GPA which isn't bad so he wasn't wrong about that.

He said that all kids go through this phase and there isn't nothing to worry about. I took his advice and accepted this was normal. My mother, which sometimes, when i feel like i would open up, discussed this with her and she would also say that this was just a teenager thing. Later on, however my mother would describe that for certain periods of time, I would come home and go straight to bed for the rest the afternoon/night, and would be in a groggy mood. But this seems quite typical of a teenager in high school, puberty is a tough moment.

I also could never tell if I was being bullied or not, so it could just be that the bullying would put me in depression. Basically, I came over from overseas and was one of three black students, in my grade. I would often be called a nigger and was the receiver of a lot of a racist jokes but I felt like there was a play fullness to it so I shook it off. Not to mention half of these were the one of the only people I talked to and i considered them friends, so I'm not sure about it. I remember someone made a joke while waiting for the teacher to arrive, for me to move to the back of the line because I was black, the teacher heard it, looked at him sternly for 10 seconds and then walked in the class. I also used to weigh 215 lbs, which I never cared about until I moved here (USA), and also received jokes about my weight quite often. Now I weigh 147 lbs, and I still don't feel that good about my body and I feel like I need to lose more weight, even if others have said its unnecessary. Safe to say my self-esteem did take a hit in high school.

After I graduated, I thought everything was going to be over, mainly the suicidal thoughts and anxiety that I felt. I got accepted to NYU, which I still have no idea how because not only was my GPA not that impressive, I never participated in a club or sports activity in high school. I was hoping to start a new life after this.

My first semester wasn't great. Since I barely worked outside of class, the readings and the assignments felt heavy. Not only that but I also felt like I was being judged in the class by my peers, and still do till this day. My social skills are quite horrible when it comes to people I didn't know and would always avoid talking to people at all costs (In the Spring of my second year and still haven't made any friends there but I also commute). The first half the semester was hell, I used all my allowed absences and my suicidal thoughts started to have plans with them. I would have moment of complete breakdown from time to time. After I started smoking a weed however (only smoked rarely before hand), things started to change.  My confidence went up school wise, not socially, and I would go to the library 5 hours before my class to get work done. I would also come home happy most days, it felt quite good, even for a while after I stopped smoking around the end of November after thanksgiving. I finished the semester with 3.25 GPA which I was quite happy about. I wasn't the best with my work, but I at least got most of it done.

However during winter break, at the end of December after Christmas, thing started to turn bad again. My suicidal thoughts returned, and my mind was in disarray (don't know how to describe it). I blocked my friends for a week, unblocked them, and did it again for a week and a half. I remember talking about it with my mom, and cried, but again told me it was teenager problems. Except the thoughts wouldn't go away. As the semester was about to begin, i got another thc vape pen hopefully to bring me back on the right track. Big mistake. Getting high didn't feel that good anymore and made me more anxious. I felt like my peers were judging me even more for some reason, and stopped going to a class completely because it was to tight. I thought this would help alleviate the stress and when my counselor contacted me, i told her that the pressure was just getting to me, and right now i can only handle 3 classes. However, the suicidal thoughts became strong and I even thought about the perfect, quick way to kill myself by jumping in front of a train at my station that I knew didn't stop. I started to miss more classes and my mom noticed and she would shout at me for it. 

I decided to seek help, by going to a doctor with my mom and telling them about my experiences. She said that I might have bipolar after what I told her but wasn't a psychiatrist so she told me to go to the hospital where a psych would evaluate me immediately instead of waiting for an appointment.  She set it up so that I could go there right now. Once I got there, I talked to a psych assistant, because he wasn't working at the time. She then told me that I should put myself in a voluntary psych ward or else she would have to put me in an involuntary one, which had consequences according to her. It was safe to say my outward appearance wasn't the best at the time, and I did look visibly depressed. After I got to the psych ward, the psych put me on an anti depressant which I can't recall for a couple of days. I became more energized after, with small episodes of intense suicidal thoughts. The psych then put me on lithium after I described how I felt, and I can't recall how it made me feel but the intense episodes didn't stop and i felt like I had to leave immediately. Didn't want the psych to keep me in here longer but i also wanted to get better so I mentioned i would have something that felt like an anxiety attack. He then put me on Gabapentin and was released after a couple days.

Once I got out, there was a 20 day wait before I would go to my outpatient. However, I felt like my semester was wrecked an asked for medical leave after explaining my situation. They said it was OK as long as my psychiatrist would allow it which by the looks of it was obvious, but I didn't see him until the 20 days, so I just stopped going to class then. Once I started seeing him, I re explained my situation and he was supportive of the leave and filled out the form that was needed. On the piece of paper he filled out, he listed what I had. The only time I heard anything about my diagnosis was when I first arrived at the ward and was prescribed the anti depressant. The psych theorized I had major depressive disorder. I did search up the lithium was a bipolar drug but they never mentioned to me the I had bipolar. He wrote on the paper, Bipolar I and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I never mentioned it to him that I felt I didn't have either, I just thought I had depressive episode and social anxiety or avoidant personality disorder. The spring semester only had one month left so my leave just ended being a month plus summer. I was offered to come back during the spring of next year but, afraid my parents would disapprove, and i would just be lazing around I decided to make sure I would come back that fall.

During the summer I would see a counselor at the outpatient every two weeks till this day. At the beginning I was quite honest, but started to leave thing out more and more as the months progressed. I started hanging out with my friends more during the summer to avoid being in my room all day. Since I never believed that I had bipolar, i stopped taking the medication after a month because of the side effects. When I told my psychiatrist, he said I had to be medicated. I agree to stay on it but gave after a week. The next time I saw him, I lied and said I was still taking the medication and prescribed 3 months worth of medication and a lab test to take before I came in to check my lithium levels weren't dangerous. When the time came he forget about the lab test because he was living the hospital and told me to schedule with another psych. I continued to see my counselor and started classes again, and when she asked I told I was done with medication, and she thought I my life was good right now so she didn't ask. 

My semester was alright, I wasn't the best student but I did what I can. However I stopped going to my chem recitation because my anxiety was out of control in that class. There was a quiz every week during the recitation but I avoided. Towards the end of the semester, I learned that if I skipped more than 3 quizzes my grade would be an incomplete and possibly a failure. I also didn't do that great on the second exam so thing weren't looking good. I panicked on the day of the final exam, and even though I was at the library to ready to go take the test, I made a last minute decision to not go saying I would fail anyway and there I didn't want to deal with the peers who knew I wasn't coming to my recitation ( The final exam was taken with your recitation group). I took a fail for the class and was quite reckless during the whole situation, I could have even withdrawn in the middle but I didn't. I also was doing pretty good on the lab (it was easy), and my first exam was pretty good so my grade was salvageable. Didn't tell anyone about this.

In all however over the last couple of month my suicidal thoughts were gone/barely came. I still didn't talk much in classes, but it would affect me less when I got home ( I over analyzed every encounter before hand). My other grades were a B,  B+, and A- so it wasn't decent. Almost every assignment was done last minute and didn't study much for the tests because the teachers weren't that hard. It was a typical college semester before hand. 

I started questioning if I had bipolar, because I will still feel depressed a lot but the last couple of day I've been the opposite, rearranging my room, leaving the house besides school more often, but also have been risky with my assignments more, skipping class a bit. I also still have my social issues which I've been trying to fix as it does hinder me in a lot of aspects. However I've read that bipolar is much more serious and i'm still pretty sure I don't have it. 

If any of you have any assumptions, or advice it will help a lot.",4.9866701848575445,5.858462755756206,5.498923647123423,82.29449370081143,68.84650112866818,8.496644500030504,29.864636080776037,8.665423744878735,2.208159477762187,8904,330,1738,139,148,2863,601,2215,0.133,0.769,0.098,-0.9978,12,4,4,0,0,1,224.0,0,2,7,37,113,91,4,8,146,2,192,29,5,19,22,335,359,164,8,50,56,6,26,9,4,33,20,14,6,3,100,105,4,20,53,8,3,53,58,33,0,19,180,51,266,57,260,127,45,320,1,11,11,0,119,98,2,30,172,1253,366,75,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038398672878513576,0.01741634762685316,0.0,0.019674160668943626,0.0,0.0,0.2042575679180634,0.03269663355002958,0.0,0.0,0.04008297724000058,0.0412042912767424,0.0751515236356247,0.0221961135803098,0.01948506778944361,0.013738008025854951,0.0,0.016168241019457838,0.034980929909281366,0.0734711438050027,0.02235189889174389,0.018459498803111384,0.07553867922554347,0.06561945899603054,0.11976950376163925,0.0,0.11703019130122776,0.02213603532484304,0.06185660373070516,0.017376641396526903,0.02145001131828569,0.02182397378696149,0.0,0.0,0.04012464451816285,0.0898861490000853,0.020031963681697847,0.0,0.020784478880566587,0.11847223635393946,0.04120011745808247,0.0,0.0220363727064407,0.06274780776291819,0.08695846171787179,0.02158188633494067,0.1267102981051388,0.02025573808835712,0.11845670626369045,0.01994182679187328,0.0,0.0,0.06755330594377339,0.02011007688948638,0.01719368368016333,0.08042496825826888,0.0,0.0,0.022784894173240585,0.0,0.016412988074848433,0.0,0.06960751052794223,0.0,0.0,0.07786203951149079,0.0,0.08276944636808845,0.0,0.017657930798664522,0.019219051918095118,0.0,0.0,0.05960628134709978,0.028072395082397592,0.2263764900321652,0.06456871789748495,0.0,0.08356088409083172,0.0,0.0,0.0607185239025928,0.0,0.04106008869842456,0.0,0.16749213947078148,0.11535589702342172,0.10999745780330172,0.043322936766897885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04183031664499612,0.03520065086796334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039507970507409285,0.1245521488959775,0.05912421600318205,0.039028855924412,0.019348856852341032,0.022670608758098974,0.0,0.022179666993938595,0.0,0.020506914077448368,0.0,0.0174636251533323,0.021737078108039373,0.0,0.021595534526509128,0.06406142879276389,0.0,0.12482336818910353,0.02134709607015781,0.0,0.027755259378901973,0.08638910532586337,0.0,0.01734912670411389,0.034774887056012144,0.06599589883131292,0.02198055758173989,0.0,0.06681450096758698,0.0,0.0929548276868014,0.013114877143244654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11875690133054904,0.0,0.020842921759091027,0.019838401851303717,0.06903284009127836,0.10977728277604416,0.041764424641058284,0.043329580063618166,0.029136785313222738,0.12122707525323605,0.018975704449674915,0.06268610504127466,0.018437873558588787,0.019250405343005428,0.01885233249194736,0.022368840232978898,0.0,0.08369590206403785,0.06656836543509367,0.11954263986168125,0.0,0.0,0.021816254113128687,0.0,0.0,0.040863365053257626,0.017155463135181282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.022149635112767317,0.03763380045158906,0.07995439535045723,0.0,0.018800030320016155,0.0,0.118507150668012,0.022009727299979364,0.16718051130168474,0.039305688714363005,0.0,0.0,0.020200930517098155,0.0,0.0,0.044513637104903324,0.06711552438479508,0.11213578710198667,0.06249800971195719,0.0,0.15907477374507972,0.06262614243779338,0.017886371087527126,0.02049665610439869,0.0,0.0,0.0325052754891161,0.0662539321831338,0.0,0.08011271988463467,0.016647286255865087,0.03025125305582125,0.01943190704116572,0.0,0.18078607377334904,0.02094165008268429,0.1412148672637279,0.11498348898594253,0.022506176320178248,0.0,0.022491718308755584,0.15043844280816046,0.022295781324717774,0.09258781054746157,0.0,0.0738624774143354,0.07895969167499982,0.05151841499231022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06526472107028862,0.0,0.038607191941544,0.20277324796193552,0.10310968135381282,0.0,0.0,0.1877405446166441,0.06548737779377785,0.013339381445877487,0.021370867943918147,0.01919277942830476,0.0,0.0,0.033938310865700094,0.0,0.0,0.034765862232453336,0.015595292778414243,0.07880030702797054,0.04785079073635639,0.0,0.018213454792996398,0.0,0.0219357627523288,0.0,0.01893951534510669,0.0,0.07151816994889001,0.01995301784648421,0.0,0.3907971141341818,0.04296297390787352,0.0,0.03795709053887357
bipolarreddit,bridgeeeeeeee,2020/02/25,"Type 1 Diabetes and Bipolar 2...the struggle Hey guys, thanks for your time it took to read my post. I’m a 22 year old female diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes and bipolar at 20. I feel like with the ups and downs of bipolar disorder, showering, proper diet and excercise, good sleep hygiene ect is already enough to keep up with. With diabetes, it is a 24 hour job you can never take a break from and if you do slip, you pay short term and long term complications. Also, uncontrolled blood sugars greatly affect mood and energy levels. I feel like every single day is an up hill battle. I’ve learned tools to control my emotions better and remain stable compared to how I used to be. Recently, I’ve also been very diligent with my blood sugars (even though they still fluctuate a good bit). While I’m motivated to keep fighting, lately I have been over thinking my 11 years of uncontrolled blood sugars. I haven’t been good to my body. I have been overthinking the complications I have probably already caused and it makes me very depressed and worried for my future. I guess there are no other options except to do my best each day. I have confidence I will learn to live with these two illnesses better with more time, I’m just really struggling with the idea of the damage I’ve done to my body with the 11 years of extremely high blood sugars. Idk what I’m really trying to say, I guess I I’d just like to hear that I’m not alone. With so many ups and downs, I know we (people with diabetes and/or bipolar), are motherf*cking WARRIORS! I wish you all health and happiness. Remember, all we can do is our best❤️ thank you all",4.661540372670807,6.062246149206352,5.372256728778472,80.93962732919256,70.04761904761905,8.779848171152521,27.66390614216701,9.20300075937882,2.301167011732229,1287,44,243,26,23,417,174,315,0.10300000000000001,0.746,0.151,0.9508,2,1,0,0,2,0,39.0,3,6,1,5,10,22,2,4,10,0,23,23,7,7,4,56,44,19,0,2,5,0,2,3,0,1,11,2,1,1,7,26,5,3,9,1,1,1,4,8,0,1,6,8,33,13,39,36,11,32,0,2,0,0,15,11,0,4,21,148,40,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10220349905030474,0.21779332851084546,0.15782992427174544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20711872329700107,0.17455021279087485,0.1077338236582871,0.21922414012744654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10137231569979566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11067885494308027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12728184343763801,0.0,0.08499358754500164,0.100158886591743,0.0,0.0,0.113096691684519,0.0,0.0,0.10098467105088864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110025645160188,0.0,0.10196359637847896,0.0,0.06517770635746792,0.0,0.08314279006195277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997919069954119,0.1409950986317007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24830620000526765,0.0,0.10879587802420604,0.21741594852887955,0.09770945955813723,0.0,0.1050474960160182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10489302540608172,0.11122037998586408,0.0,0.0,0.10426163298401137,0.0,0.0,0.09718066350587576,0.0,0.0,0.1113985581297811,0.0,0.0,0.09792542018371628,0.1754239738885037,0.0,0.0,0.05423236085899013,0.0,0.11131618707077796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14463129336812525,0.0,0.08713691238814995,0.08732936067580316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06587016857403416,0.10004679449619208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07610867981692176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10354884987780953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06841280873014335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094508883032298,0.0,0.10639454152140188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09870745693059006,0.0,0.12643483385558754,0.0,0.09743533817634564,0.0,0.11178605593929147,0.0,0.0,0.07847489515730509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09875201857680578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07880657643160198,0.0,0.0,0.20632509683948694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07419564492198312,0.0,0.0,0.18170395748177895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06323064165906833,0.09695333831889927,0.0,0.115083080725092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10963794698271437,0.06699775338466565,0.0,0.09639675633544786,0.0,0.0,0.08522848645185885,0.0,0.16284391102277276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134779953514886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10021509425924087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1906415077371372
bipolarreddit,nahnoi,2020/02/25,"What happens if I quit lithium cold turkey? I’ve been on 300 mg for just one month now. It’s definitely helped me a lot in keeping my thoughts in order (my mind used to constantly race and now seems more organized?) and regulating my mood.... however I find that I dissociate very frequently and my memory has become SO bad. Like literally so bad I forget the names of some of my friends.

I can’t justify the pros over the cons, and so I want to quit. I’m already on the lowest dose so it’s not like I can taper down or anything, but I was just curious to know what to expect? Will I just be thrown into some rebound mania? I have 3 midterms next week so I don’t really want to compromise anything, but I also only have very few pills left until my next refill ...",3.1086559139784917,4.479608806451616,5.0539516129032265,81.83426075268817,73.83870967741936,8.521505376344086,26.46505376344086,9.075114841892004,2.0909892473118283,595,21,122,13,12,205,103,155,0.071,0.838,0.091,0.4456,2,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,2,11,6,0,0,5,0,10,2,0,1,0,28,19,15,0,4,8,0,0,2,1,1,2,0,0,0,5,5,0,1,4,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,3,1,19,3,16,14,5,18,0,0,0,0,3,8,0,6,11,81,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852819881470385,0.1342696874973804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27633503116188163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2803792203597104,0.0,0.18543252194846907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1814404121006808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15345769327855124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12971923765960364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14847354615917924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11253992985558273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492373658686133,0.0,0.0,0.0922735302368176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18242400180278068,0.0,0.0,0.16405506245608367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14274270145345436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16953128627859138,0.0,0.1340162960755573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.357127423841815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137734854073753,0.1276956282365394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35716494874591714,0.0,0.0,0.10756113397953418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15284998862574242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13329396268734364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14501181945779373,0.0,0.2770704116442785,0.19806371457503225,0.0,0.13467937094662544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bootrexboo,2020/02/25,Newly diagnosed (kind of) I’ve dealt with mental health issues for 10 years now and I’ve gone completely untreated the last three years. I finally went and saw a new doctor this week and with my history and new symptoms and talking to me she says she’s certain I have bipolar disorder but she didn’t specify I or II and then on paper she also wrote down Cyclothymia so that’s a little confusing but I was relieved because she seemed very confident in my treatment plan and this medicine being successful for me. I’ve literally only taken one dose so I know I’m not going to see any mood changes on Abilify that quickly but shortly after taking my first dose I could not sleep that night to save my life I was so hot and I was extremely agitated and I was just wondering if any one else has been on abilify and had some of the same side effects because none of them are in the paper the pharmacy gave me.,3.995571428571431,5.613362144444443,5.2887301587301625,80.04500000000002,72.0,8.920634920634921,30.079365079365076,9.424239791934726,2.847103174603174,726,31,137,17,14,242,115,180,0.047,0.847,0.106,0.9117,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,4,7,7,0,1,6,0,12,9,1,1,1,31,25,20,0,2,8,0,1,0,0,0,8,1,0,0,5,12,0,0,4,0,0,3,4,1,0,4,13,4,22,5,17,10,3,25,0,0,2,0,10,9,0,6,13,94,27,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13078054151080673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22242164077171667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19938136866609935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1730005433798203,0.0,0.17146551396641002,0.0,0.0,0.13057104896946822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16598669087662446,0.0,0.0,0.18742765859933933,0.16738712812010953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13661424333761718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17914687438627624,0.0,0.13910455427899565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09294188965653763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1738322656696598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17069022027581107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17029870008601874,0.0898757007364022,0.13330454487841484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11551107395546595,0.0,0.1639071140338314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648069094339739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3158902563468211,0.0,0.15346846859781973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.221633911696394,0.1243773164338608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13005124764560774,0.0,0.0,0.13031787727007146,0.1488780130123208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16365518166914444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16997764038508298,0.1229595295748054,0.13144490793704872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13493521563520372,0.0,0.0,0.1311795788835669,0.0,0.0,0.1516005089239107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17734898414217196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21062503181903708
bipolarreddit,philipwhalen12,2020/02/25,"Going to work harder I have failed myself these past few week. The signs how much love and care I have in my life these past few weeks are there, but I neglect on seeing them. I hurt everyday, but not anymore",3.849285714285713,4.905240595238098,3.917619047619048,91.91071428571428,71.61904761904762,6.552380952380951,21.142857142857142,6.42735559955562,0.12794285714285758,163,3,35,1,3,50,34,42,0.222,0.6809999999999999,0.09699999999999999,-0.7935,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,1,2,2,5,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,1,0,7,7,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,0,1,7,2,3,7,3,8,0,3,1,1,2,2,0,0,5,25,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2779607395681546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28576238482391964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15928860486823185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30004369432883954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19796883714321034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25296208942862997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20603678416395502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5351146625618135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22334550046754933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44964465828666816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2040459250783246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,shanaenae1994,2020/02/25,"Today I lost my shit I’m a female 25 yrs and been diagnosed bipolar 2 since being 7. I’ve always had these things growing up I call them mental breakdowns,episodes, total loss of any rational thoughts out the window. I’m usually very manic, 90% of the time in over the moon happy, people pleasing, talking too much just an all around bunny person. But there’s this side to me that unfortunately only my loved ones see, I can keep it at bay with tons of self control but lately I’ve been having back to back episodes during arguments with my boyfriend. During these episodes I will throw things break things scream hurt people hurt myself cut myself I even put a knife to my boyfriends neck once. I’m not a bad person, I don’t hate my loved ones, and I hate myself for acting like that. He does push by buttons..every one I have... but that doesn’t give me the right to do that. And when it’s over I clean up the mess I cry because I can’t believe what a mess I’ve caused and once we’re good it’s like I turn back to manic and forget it happened. Most people like me would have been jailed or hospitalized. I need help. I need someone to talk to. I don’t know what to do anymore I’m so sick of me.",1.4537651821862347,3.6050979878542577,2.6429570850202424,93.71125344129557,81.2672064777328,4.92365991902834,19.5965991902834,5.927762680638738,-0.16703161133603214,941,24,202,6,25,301,146,247,0.214,0.649,0.13699999999999998,-0.973,0,0,0,0,0,3,26.0,0,0,1,3,11,19,4,0,10,0,17,7,2,2,2,27,35,11,0,3,6,0,0,3,0,2,3,1,2,3,16,9,0,2,2,0,0,5,5,12,0,3,6,2,28,7,24,26,5,24,0,4,1,2,12,10,1,2,11,122,44,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09359398934718126,0.0,0.0,0.07649158006972717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11155186507649743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10013277899922553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25947501884257784,0.09391772606872432,0.06856794992078875,0.0,0.0,0.12672863407861834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11485664253006778,0.0,0.0,0.1155499425451567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12615806634535073,0.0,0.0,0.12355613532101295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141668068956434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09843370845733784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07429326412088359,0.0,0.094770890340054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10790293153234508,0.0,0.09434451916564272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09946741287560584,0.1197391225145698,0.0,0.22210526782658266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07539427701104252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2408284980017314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09997912134062324,0.0,0.0,0.06181713555703204,0.0,0.12688453382544398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16485899057894626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12278733077152065,0.0,0.20303869469661132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11335534496799847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08268717223720519,0.16680787458098473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23957920176088576,0.2286620318581069,0.08554758813799959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2339424545118721,0.19642979225531487,0.0,0.12347139839927565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11307542288938675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960589668151832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08963354742942006,0.0,0.11734320049509762,0.0,0.11546110058556905,0.09304622762464096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09530558735393138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808174540092361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2241840194068722,0.0,0.0,0.08929810032443898,0.06558912694213424,0.0,0.10661973210882343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223480566354075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12388297157303335,0.0928093850506166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07990394677617614,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,melcie,2020/02/25,"Newly Diagnosed Rapid Cycling Bipolar Thanks for reading this, I appreciate it. I’m glad i found this page and it’s helpful reading some of these posts. I’m very new to reddit and feel like it’s an outlet that has recently calmed me down about my mental heath; knowing that i’m not alone and other people feel the way I do makes me feel at ease. 
So, I’ve recently been diagnosed with Cyclical Bipolar with Hypomania - am I saying this right? I recently was a heavy marijuana user and social drinker. I had to stop smoking weed because of the panic attacks I would endure, and the hallucinations it would bring about to me. I had to stop drinking because I would have a really depressive episode after I would drink. Im not a heavy drinker and at most would have 3 or 4 drinks. Now, since about a month or so, I’ve tried drinking 1 drink a couple of times. Each time I do this i become extremely depressed after I stop feeling the alcohol, then the depressive episode ensues. What is your relationship like with alcohol? Is it possible to have 1 drink and feel on top of the world, and shortly after think that everything is worthless? I am so perplexed that just 1 drink of alcohol can effect my brain chemistry so much. I am not on any medication as I had a very bad reaction to an anti-depressant (before my diagnosis) and hallucinated and was very manic/depressive, so now I’m afraid to try any more. It was called Celexa. I’m wondering if anyone has advice on how to cope, how to get through this, and if medication is something i should reconsider. I am currently in therapy. 
Thanks again for reading",4.557592290988055,6.3440657296416925,5.695818403908795,77.00976452225844,70.85667752442997,9.025461454940283,31.032709011943545,9.516144504307137,3.0493692725298587,1277,56,232,30,24,424,158,307,0.105,0.797,0.098,-0.6298,1,1,13,0,0,0,33.0,0,1,0,2,14,14,1,2,14,0,29,17,1,4,0,47,48,24,0,8,8,0,5,2,0,6,9,1,0,0,18,15,10,3,10,10,0,1,3,8,0,0,8,6,25,6,34,34,6,32,0,4,0,0,6,11,0,7,20,155,43,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07383140407135348,0.0,0.2422357303484829,0.0,0.07825212227538379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10275988785175974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05282976445052897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0859546414043809,0.0,0.0,0.0630852114005025,0.09211516924689488,0.08344448517004624,0.06429168134345033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08434429044116151,0.07715003203398671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08360009400361396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32537675651992143,0.15337332896373088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5181054777868492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06790390011576174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.191014216266097,0.053976457757708964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08284208198208545,0.0,0.0,0.03947433299960898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050642877577223966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08161229070279091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04152301411061895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07382464565731321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05043350309384633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522272882735287,0.07614159967470135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06030722503752095,0.0,0.055541567700188914,0.0,0.0,0.07297142311116049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08864743223483484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05238027585844831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0851768322940575,0.07236073852533402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267261315218644,0.0,0.0484024234525744,0.0,0.22380413785537714,0.08111772018236482,0.0,0.06452349819474283,0.0,0.0600843136336735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0624998196338835,0.0,0.0,0.07701873723306894,0.0,0.05816587711495835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18950191616660528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13912165856265676,0.08640364820354607,0.0,0.0,0.04841254896978635,0.0,0.0,0.0881133756516031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10259367710008424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18702219232558265,0.0,0.05997198738493145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08193609964318962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683602758025144,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Ohanasmom,2020/02/25,"First Stay as Inpatient I have newly discovered Reddit, but can't stop asking questions.  There is just so much life experience here!  

Here's mine:  I (45F) have severe Bi-Polar II disorder.  Went 26 years before diagnosis and medication.  Then a sever car wreck a week later (not my fault, almost killed me).  Many more years before medication again.  I grew up poor, had no insurance most of my life, worked steadily (mostly 2 jobs) while going to college, then grad school, and helping my family 3 hours away.  Then finally, graduated, work in the professional field (ironically helping those on disability go back to work), and then meds again.  

My husband is AWESOME.  Wouldn't be alive without him.  We have been married 8 years and he has dealt with ups/downs/medication changes/life.  We have been looking for a good combination of meds for over 8 months now.  Maybe closer to 16, but I can't bear to analyze.  It has been horrible.  Add to that the fact that we are in an isolated area in a state that is 49th in the country for health care.  Additionally, I had another medical crisis that involved hormones, which just made everything exponentially worse.  

We are at the end of the line, people.  I finally agreed with husband and the family who really cares and have decided to go inpatient to get this straightened out.  It will take time because of the situation and our location, but I have insurance (yea!).  I have the luxury of choosing a facility (as long as it's in my state and covered by my insurance), but all I know is what I have seen/heard from clients.  And that is limited, since once they reach this point, they are not usually working so close with me.

I thought to look for facilities with low bed counts, a good variety of staff, medical staff as well (since they are still adjusting hormones), serve a variety of disorders (in case there is one/some that have not been identified), and have an individualized program.  

Honestly, my biggest fear is that my attitude right now is, ""I've worked and gone to school, maintained myself, my business, and been there for my entire family every time they needed it (7 brother & sisters, y'all).  I'm not about to have someone tell me that the only way to maintain in life is the lights on at 7am, off at 9pm and we have you journal in between.  Yes, I have crashed, many times.  I don't need hit over the head with a bat that my sleep schedule is my problem for 45 years and I need doped up until I can no longer function (been there).

What are your experiences and advice?",5.706777219873152,6.848142243128965,6.315490882663847,76.11067818446091,67.37209302325581,10.056263213530656,31.90598572938689,10.198262852665088,3.2710338794926,1983,81,369,49,32,647,262,473,0.125,0.7859999999999999,0.08900000000000001,-0.9661,1,0,0,0,0,0,88.0,6,3,4,7,18,11,1,1,21,2,45,10,2,1,2,59,65,31,1,5,11,4,0,0,0,2,8,0,1,0,20,29,0,2,6,0,1,7,11,5,1,1,12,3,46,6,59,49,5,69,0,1,2,0,26,27,0,4,31,244,66,15,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07811582984415735,0.0,0.0,0.08004773456646118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08661427695012885,0.0,0.0,0.08382340234534959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07473252247656033,0.0,0.07510567211916072,0.061468443263170996,0.0,0.048730299643238835,0.0,0.13604503675336066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16300703634780653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832348935325454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07080255697220611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06735236927839355,0.0,0.0718443536854745,0.1563920913777227,0.22607917855181844,0.08995401878509934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17513935083097346,0.0,0.06799638960355074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04176502287331528,0.0,0.13629416317098422,0.13409870628916634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08204085892630003,0.08497181507397206,0.0,0.0,0.10716335297694407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07872417957455922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07932749258283195,0.0,0.08844107191771737,0.0,0.04393258865491589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16939062913311972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07074382931700919,0.13425787968843542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07564056732635943,0.0,0.1620919539266377,0.0803098444850832,0.0,0.2663838661704748,0.3221220318909334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0638068446436621,0.0,0.058764636895603975,0.1778220959042861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08513282301412607,0.05416898780625522,0.06079749516409561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055419895742388564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07556854591463487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07649118365052361,0.0,0.0,0.08955039243783612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05121120913279741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06826778752655417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16180582591594894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18061747468478534,0.0,0.1322533503789959,0.08985520427226397,0.07999710398479244,0.0,0.06773237109753341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08520473505375871,0.063839686320752,0.06683289504696417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060104459712145036,0.0,0.06987053523286202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06346293262973289,0.13983987327552866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0880419253079998,0.0,0.0,0.06345215319824779,0.06412254293203673,0.0,0.0718750964132492,0.07410459939515669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07705870266454022,0.0,0.2909840770887227,0.0,0.08146505021930328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20591334048061508
bipolarreddit,herozero13,2020/02/25,"Migraines and Mood Swings This may be a well covered thing, but I notice that when I get migraines (which is often if I'm not taking my inject-able medication) then it is inevitably accompanied by a downward (depressed) mood swing. It usually comes with agitation, and not just from the pain. This includes the inability to find anything that makes me happy, so I just sort of sit around doing something I don't really want to do while I'm in pain. Anyone else get this wonderful combo?",6.2355311355311365,7.318520263736267,6.66346153846154,74.3023717948718,66.14285714285714,9.143589743589745,31.650183150183143,9.2995712137729,2.8796578754578763,388,15,67,7,6,126,69,91,0.162,0.7140000000000001,0.124,-0.4489,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,7,7,0,0,4,0,7,5,0,1,0,18,16,8,0,2,6,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,9,5,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,3,1,0,0,0,6,2,8,14,0,9,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,5,4,48,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15225261620120034,0.2231058498433992,0.17918587541593928,0.19383953211468088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18756834426221294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1875437566170068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818983050069417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1990153111881023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275259234826161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23179398111208094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14534671638409233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2193555388512336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2479045317522123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4633928233288662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13949325115832506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1676310136245793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16371740945659824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446603395469288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2398157475173921,0.0,0.1284318529396627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.195779225794166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361355508915761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,scandczech,2020/02/26,"Starting latuda I (21F) was on quetiapine for over a year but I quit it because I didn't like the drowsiness and couldn't function with school. I went off my meds for a few months and the depression is just too bad to function. I went back to my psychiatrist and he prescribed latuda. Can anyone tell me what their experience with latuda was like? Or can someone tell me what worked for them? I've heard that lithium is a good option that works, but my psychiatrist didn't offer that. I just need some guidance.",4.120833333333334,5.981025464646468,4.492815656565657,84.89255681818184,72.13131313131315,6.970202020202023,26.516414141414145,7.645422480735847,1.3961202020202013,407,14,79,5,8,128,63,99,0.154,0.807,0.038,-0.9125,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,2,3,4,5,0,0,5,0,9,0,0,0,0,14,14,6,0,2,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,6,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,2,0,0,7,1,13,3,10,6,2,9,0,1,0,0,7,3,0,3,6,55,19,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550809748001993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1705430945646549,0.18518568426758555,0.1352013433078137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19102770986491224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21695352780290333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18602722904301672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2167111311566864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.246359088051658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17703094730001373,0.0,0.0,0.16445473974155403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23590134584529346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22446368254480684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18792225011652325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15698435654016332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.387709096405261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4112037667267943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3229320434440481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14282571850469342
bipolarreddit,ThisIsYourBoy,2020/02/26,"I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar 2 but show no signs of hypomania 6 years ago I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 after a series of intense episodes depression and anxiety. I was also abusing adhd medication and drinking a LOT of coffee to help get through my senior year of high school (IB Program). So naturally I had intense highs and lows including a few days where I had feelings of grandeur and didn’t feel the need to sleep. Ever since I stopped abusing stimulants I haven’t had an episode resembling hypomania for longer than a few hours. I talked to my psychiatrist about this and he said that it only takes one episode of hypomania to diagnose bipolar. (This doctor also seems like he is not really interested in my situation almost indifferent or apathetic). Side note I’ve been taking clonazepam and Lamotrigine for the past 5 years. This has reduced panic attacks and the sensation that I’m losing my mind. Still feel long episodes of intense depression and suicidal ideation. 

Should I trust my psychiatrist and continue believing I have bipolar 2 or should I start looking at alternative causes for my depression and anxiety (see another psychiatrist). Other side note: my therapist does not believe I’m bipolar. 

Sorry if this post is long, confusing or not appropriate for this subreddit, this is my first time posting.",8.049290780141845,9.332940170212767,8.395744680851063,62.77333333333334,62.19148936170214,12.224113475177305,41.624113475177296,11.855464076750405,5.711019858156027,1080,61,164,35,15,356,140,235,0.23,0.6940000000000001,0.076,-0.9918,1,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,2,7,11,1,2,8,0,16,12,1,2,1,36,30,18,1,4,8,0,3,1,0,2,10,1,0,0,10,12,1,1,4,2,0,0,6,8,0,2,9,6,18,3,23,19,3,28,0,5,2,0,5,8,0,8,19,105,28,4,0.0,0.25492484101295243,0.0,0.0,0.12928793338890865,0.0,0.09536146730729768,0.0,0.1077238965153212,0.0,0.0,0.17206028587544858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11280498528431708,0.16459385671017665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12238558399779635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2424072893088681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11051231063845564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06937895481381354,0.0,0.2779704996638129,0.3275684266996832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11011071212698914,0.09414229316541063,0.0,0.0,0.10538555225239504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09731052239981186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631841121851239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09150585056203904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05620510094797975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07210731202354323,0.2273242727555635,0.0,0.0,0.10594272804438087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05255721055070425,0.0,0.0,0.19040641161720145,0.09033848375756004,0.12035234184206467,0.0,0.09145902726255448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10837358676251282,0.0,0.0,0.10862318266174578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07976777507020498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0728976837181553,0.08181796915201965,0.0,0.12621968501880554,0.0,0.0,0.10269543960294863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20606010561480814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06891726571556649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023313787790259,0.0,0.0,0.10887474917902816,0.08572579283867426,0.09793503369670616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08898969038407173,0.12092225693597584,0.1076557606265327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204248407346967,0.0761443109618841,0.0,0.08591198489293216,0.08994008273751918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11767294689347688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1617706393118389,0.08646717690281076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249064297246913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06272963717226926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20783024811252804
bipolarreddit,schlomnia,2020/02/26,"Disclosed my diagnosis with my supervisor. Did I make a mistake? I'm sorry if this is scrambled. I'm a mess right now. I meant to only ask about FMLA, but I'm having a depressive episode, so when she asked why I needed it, I started crying. This led me to disclosing me having bipolar. I didn't think much about it before I did it. It just kind of blurted out like word vomit. It was really embarrassing and I can tell it made her uncomfortable. I mean, who wouldn't be uncomfortable? I really think I made a mistake. What should I do now? I don't want anyone to treat me differently because of this.",1.303214285714283,3.776763083333337,3.8795238095238105,82.51500000000003,84.83333333333334,6.761904761904763,22.73809523809524,7.957251820313856,1.5010595238095241,470,17,92,10,14,164,75,120,0.23,0.713,0.055999999999999994,-0.9581,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,0,7,8,0,1,4,0,13,2,0,4,0,21,28,5,0,7,3,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,11,3,0,0,4,0,0,1,3,5,0,0,7,0,19,3,9,18,1,7,0,1,0,0,6,2,0,1,5,65,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426717328463847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38150565137020015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12438282618313765,0.0,0.1736257142215178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22413184762338026,0.0,0.0,0.17574208843616598,0.0,0.0,0.21318169046462526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21247956871524026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09968518913767127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3861411732342536,0.1362004043506674,0.0,0.0,0.22226283588825407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14999521181305212,0.1512954295261405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15518402982804316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2614305666424048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17425175736634127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284096301863441,0.14442281012365038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17834272932482734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26148525645984466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12034995173652235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18411722938583672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,wellersnow,2020/02/26,"Fast cycling, Sertraline to Depakote Hi all,

Not really sure what I'm looking to get out of posting this - I'm going to do it anyway as I need to get some things written down and off my chest and hope to get some views on how to proceed.

Things have been very rocky the last month and I'm concerned with the direction things are going as it seems to be going from worse to worse.

I was diagnosed with Bipolar 4 years ago after being placed on Sertraline (Zoloft). I was originally prescribed it for OCD symptoms and trauma from a traumatic experience from the past. Within 1 week on 50mg, I wasn't sleeping, had plenty of plans and ideas and thought I was going to be a millionaire in a few weeks. Each night I was only sleeping for a few hours whilst still going to work the next day. I went back to the doctors and this is when I got the diagnosis of Bipolar and was placed on 300mg instant release Seroquel. Docs still wanted me to stay on sertraline at only 50mg.

Over the next few years, during my hypomanic episodes, I taught myself to write computer code to create a new web-based business automation software. I thought this was going to be huge and worth millions and that I could sell this to run away from where I currently live due to paranoia about people coming to kill me. Seroquel was eventually raised to 600mg IR at night where I stayed for a good while.

Seroquel caused 4 stone weight gain and really bad bruxism which started to wear my teeth down a lot. It also felt very un-natural when I took it and made me feel like my body was shutting down. I made a bad (good?) decision and stopped this 1 year ago without doctors guidance. I didn't involve the doctors as felt discouraged by the whole help process from the doctors, leaving me on just Sertraline. Since stopping the Seroquel, I was cycling between hypomania and depression each 1-3 months. During the hypomanic episodes, I would be working on learning more about computer programming and obsessively building my software with the plan of making millions and running away. During depressive phases I smoked loads of cannabis and did no work on my software (thought it was a pile of rubbish during these phases) and my performance at work would drop massively.

I work as an IT engineer and had new management come in to become my new leader. This caused me real distress as I felt that I had been pushed back into a lower role, where I felt I am more capable of doing higher level work and I've been constantly trying to get my work to use this new platform I've created. The amount of times I've handed in my notice and revoked it over the last 4 years is crazy. My new manager is essential doing what I was doing before he came into the business and this caused a real ego hit for myself, which I feel I hold a grudge there due to this.

About 1 month ago, my 6 year relationship fully broke down due to bad things I had done and constant arguing. I fully accept responsibility for this happening and came clean with what I had done and we came to an agreement that it would be best to break up.

I had a ""crisis"" after this and got in touch with the local mental health teams. They've taken me off the Sertraline and put me on Depakote twice a day at 250mg. All was going well until today...

I've been sleeping 23:00-07:00, going to the gym each morning and eating much better. Today I noticed my mood has started going really high with a very inflated sense of self, which turned into paranoia believing people were removing important sent items from my email box and eventually called out my manager and his manager (the director) in front of the whole office, asking them to let me leave the job right away and called them ""unprofessional"". As soon as I have what I call a ""blow out"" where I get angry and kick off, depression hits right away, until the hypomania takes effect again within a few days.

I don't want to leave this company as it's like a family, but I feel my condition makes it so hard for the people around me and when I'm like this I just want to be a hermit. I've explained my situation to them fully, and they are very understanding and do all they can to make me stay. It's just embarrassing though and I feel as thought I should resign.

The only good thing to come from these last 4 years is the web-based business automation platform I've built during hypomanic phases has ended up as a really beneficial piece of software, and I am giving a demo to the directors of the company in a few weeks, with the plan of it being used extensively through the business. This is my absolute dream coming true, being able to use my own creation in a company I love, but it feels very bittersweet due to the underlying issues going on.

My problems are though:

\- I'm sick of the embarrassment caused during my flip outs in the middle of the office. It's also really not fair on the people who have to take the brunt. Every-time this happens, I feel awful afterwards and apologise profusely right away to the people who have taken the brunt. I feel although work are super-supportive and want me to stay, I should leave the company due to a. how I make other people feel and b. ruined reputation. Any thoughts or people dealing with similar workplace issues?

\- I'm concerned of the hypomania I felt today. Last few days I've been sleeping better than I have in ages, eating better and going to the gym each morning since being on the Depakote. Do you ever find when you start to get healthier and get that feel good feeling, that it can induce a manic episode? I feel so strange this evening it's crazy, not sure if this is also due to Sertraline withdrawal.

\- Psych wants to add another anti-psychotic into the mix and continue upping the dose of Depakote. I'm okay with Depakote being upped, but due to the bad experience with anti-psychotics in the past, I'm scared about going on this again. Does anyone have any experience with a mixture of an anti-convulsant and anti-psychotic together?

Sorry for the long rant and I'm not even sure it all makes sense, just need people to talk to who have similar experiences as I find people without the disorder find it really hard to relate to it, and therefore it's hard to discuss it with anyone. And also feeling so damn low after the ""blow out"" today....

Nothing really makes sense anymore!?!",7.756197816313424,7.09704194797688,7.925824387558492,72.47522892008442,63.04624277456647,10.892852555280301,34.58142948894394,10.217700943298569,3.4345377190567934,5033,186,906,97,63,1644,453,1211,0.107,0.8220000000000001,0.071,-0.9875,3,0,1,0,0,1,129.0,1,2,5,19,42,44,3,5,78,2,77,25,9,21,9,184,179,82,1,16,15,0,23,3,0,5,12,0,1,1,63,82,3,4,34,4,2,28,10,22,1,3,53,25,93,21,179,106,27,193,0,8,2,1,34,76,1,7,85,614,156,26,0.03605148442297865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09587239715661726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153214362720538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049032491331406615,0.03780312480432645,0.0,0.0,0.03575338522475046,0.0504160722946226,0.0,0.0,0.03209346449500459,0.03370327134281821,0.0,0.16935778178842742,0.05544273239188623,0.12040593448670725,0.0,0.03981603212389954,0.03067715792665981,0.040617677437415615,0.03783380870208046,0.09565382483795493,0.0,0.040045071968536926,0.0,0.0,0.11043778918038442,0.12369988186455527,0.0,0.14813922136332555,0.0,0.12422064645522765,0.0,0.07791769427351974,0.0,0.02878417677576197,0.0,0.0,0.0930008999517134,0.037167497424722175,0.09315327212026167,0.03659149781153797,0.0,0.0,0.041318124502867884,0.14760088775645755,0.031548896965214936,0.07378637074550108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07377933765532015,0.0,0.0,0.031930914551265926,0.0,0.0,0.047623330903460034,0.032610631647019266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14106107801265294,0.03398613101403634,0.0,0.21874456500195424,0.025755187675203142,0.17307539336891195,0.0,0.09885121090468074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13184788848601958,0.034583868905376264,0.24586667285235986,0.12095309873160527,0.05766733091766866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06376041722676865,0.0,0.09688514642936563,0.0,0.0,0.038321042098212105,0.0,0.0,0.024164550076046013,0.0380903726567218,0.0,0.03580725855885339,0.035503450138114984,0.0,0.0,0.04069773771177696,0.0,0.07525676653576639,0.03577553545450243,0.0,0.0398856260422286,0.0,0.0,0.11754708612902445,0.0,0.15269326632207786,0.0,0.03686508538529529,0.0,0.05283880277475,0.0,0.03183412123930319,0.031904429240281675,0.030274167116933683,0.0,0.0,0.030649682843133345,0.03253787223566506,0.06822557249889682,0.14438787478021606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036331416898731976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08632785274559238,0.0,0.026501989187852248,0.05346343778587647,0.0,0.17409374153365764,0.0766823253580227,0.06766375187286831,0.0,0.034592371617759736,0.08208970792638216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08225633533734444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06883044238444963,0.2249420399430559,0.0,0.07533225610939058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03452735652646844,0.0,0.0,0.034496401733469136,0.0,0.0362416993319064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0820689638954734,0.16166852850664615,0.0,0.0,0.038705802378872084,0.0,0.09236331214577846,0.0,0.0,0.03609382513970917,0.0,0.0,0.0328199174196179,0.03760956078976644,0.0,0.0,0.059644320920896964,0.04052337898941289,0.1443100814954961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040356685233022105,0.07655227869166882,0.15370434236903802,0.057581524059583326,0.06028131051244555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040910797293777036,0.10193429225059317,0.037471296182319785,0.05421245924697031,0.028976817573231575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11975502160049442,0.0,0.07084080080438454,0.14310425820978695,0.021021910485396745,0.0,0.1366903673742198,0.0,0.04005452570007141,0.0244765914416131,0.03921366260784225,0.0,0.03753086670820607,0.0,0.09341072215176714,0.0,0.14873125132920814,0.10632049787212984,0.0,0.08675497863628702,0.043900995700737126,0.03241461410548193,0.033420087244467954,0.0,0.08050038977104723,0.0,0.06950468896705933,0.0,0.20996728024828504,0.0,0.0734790851829912,0.07682982049939249,0.0,0.0,0.1392958438443112
bipolarreddit,DukesDuke,2020/02/26,"What's the most mild mood stabilizer? My doctor wants to start me, but I have massive medication anxiety. I have massive medication anxiety and am afraid of starting Lamictal due to the cognitive side-effects. Specifically people saying it destroys their short-term memory and it never recovers. 

​

I'm wondering if there is a mild mood stabilizer that may be a good one to start with.

​

Thanks",6.842582159624412,9.607451028169015,7.472887323943663,62.5621948356808,66.88732394366197,11.493896713615026,37.18544600938967,11.20814326018867,5.451420657276996,337,18,48,12,6,111,54,71,0.12,0.7759999999999999,0.10300000000000001,-0.0772,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,0,1,6,1,1,4,0,6,3,0,0,1,10,13,4,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,1,5,2,5,11,1,5,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,5,32,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37325049447196135,0.4185882602401934,0.0,0.0,0.2635308876248849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17629803617111242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14446927860201686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3470334565998617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13284444047231975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11671633243196128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11941162714630442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13697456799110447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3657435020318693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15857823720853886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10159339968480036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867902148292513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4185882602401934,0.0
bipolarreddit,only_one_catch,2020/02/26,"Inspired by a post about bipolar and sobriety, a question. My mental health struggles are certainly amplified by alcohol. As I’ve been circling the bipolar diagnosis, it’s been difficult for me to extract mental health crises from episodes of heavy drinking. Which is the cause and which is the effect? 

Has anyone pinpointed manic or hypomanic episodes within periods of drinking?",8.270476190476192,11.063592238095241,7.679555555555559,62.44600000000002,63.12698412698413,10.754285714285713,44.34603174603175,10.793553405168565,6.089180317460317,313,20,39,9,5,98,49,63,0.076,0.8340000000000001,0.09,0.2406,0,0,3,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,1,5,0,6,7,0,2,1,8,6,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,2,3,0,3,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,2,2,10,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,1,29,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24933203553169125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16313224339151666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2396684471377332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4571000554266744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4959844971698733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4702330248693144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22344164756135865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2613549347273508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24390098629838225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,theraflu2018,2020/02/26,"Anyone Else Regret Only Using SSRI'S for so long I used SSRI's from 2013-2020 and I feel I wasted 7 years of my life. I should have been on mood stabilizers A LONG time ago. SSRI's alone did not help my cycles or life and I spent many years in a state of poor mental health going from Zoloft to Lexapro to Effexor to Cymbalta to Trintellix and so many others. I wish I knew my diagnosis and got adequate help earlier.

I am now on Lamictal and my entire life has changed.

I feel I wasted those years :( they were good years too 21-28 :(

SIGH.",1.5219410319410334,3.62115133333333,3.5472563472563468,87.6035380835381,80.7117117117117,6.91924651924652,19.0999180999181,8.00094639256281,0.7533711711711706,422,10,89,8,11,143,73,111,0.212,0.706,0.083,-0.9327,0,1,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,0,4,4,0,0,2,0,7,5,0,2,0,15,16,8,0,3,2,0,2,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,3,0,2,1,1,1,1,0,6,2,15,1,12,9,0,14,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,1,9,49,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14890367900986112,0.0,0.0,0.1739760875021969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174551623075529,0.17211483427313595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.177700022870887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14032530587077466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16987095065012953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09546661296531328,0.1408932230985936,0.1343485401479913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17855433851082245,0.0,0.0,0.2251862171796912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3559466360518031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29731311815393546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3406096667006808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16928381266063391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277559685254416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09795018912413302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2901606844072955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19316811882465199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4326931261626316
bipolarreddit,thetigertree,2020/02/26,"Stopping Depakote My doc and I decided to stop my depakote. I’ve been on it for a while and don’t remember how I felt without it. If any of you on here stopped taking it after a while, what happened?",0.2642857142857125,2.516347333333336,2.5764761904761926,91.55185714285713,87.57142857142857,5.2647619047619045,27.447619047619053,6.742157984588678,1.3520990476190469,156,8,33,2,5,53,32,42,0.147,0.853,0.0,-0.5719,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,1,0,11,5,6,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,3,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,5,0,7,3,0,8,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,6,27,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20288363965307127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2864563050956405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2638239494161577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3379647420885541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7482849441909676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22431699364874205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2875922452171906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mothmanned,2020/02/26,"Bipolar and Sobriety: A gentle reminder I'm not going to brag about my own stability. Let's just say I'm successful.

Bigger than getting the right medical cocktail, bigger than going to the right therapist, and bigger than my other privileges in life, the largest beneficial thing I've done for myself is quitting drinking and using cocaine.

I went from weekly mood episodes and a steady hypomanic / manic energy to experiencing episodes about once a year - no coincidence, they happen when I slip up in my sobriety. 

If you're having trouble that you can't seem to escape no matter how hard you're working in other areas of your life, please consider sobriety. Maybe it's the missing piece of your recovery.

Are you an addict? Reach out to sober groups. AA, NA, Refuge Recovery, SMART Recovery, all available for free near you and online. Refuge Recovery in particular has been the best for me, as it closely mirrors my Buddhist faith.

If you're scared of going sober, than it is probably best that you do. And you'll reap the benefits.

Have questions about sobriety? Getting sober? Feel free to ask me anything.",5.826599999999999,8.056349060000002,6.277000000000001,72.32350000000002,68.4,9.4,33.0,9.827888789773867,3.697,892,41,141,22,16,288,125,200,0.068,0.737,0.195,0.9819,0,0,2,0,0,0,29.0,0,7,1,5,6,13,0,1,10,0,12,6,0,2,1,19,26,11,0,2,4,0,2,0,0,1,5,1,0,0,8,8,2,0,3,2,2,4,4,3,1,0,3,4,17,11,28,21,5,21,1,1,0,0,12,14,0,4,3,93,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809204719200289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13657061870319728,0.0,0.15514983284522538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3483287444900703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16983430140913827,0.0,0.16257723673134666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08391416555840897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1734140934317924,0.0,0.2829560134329799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467575354073596,0.0,0.14866721314976394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16970494576551867,0.2344443617015964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16672873515804007,0.0,0.0,0.16718684766501055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17674156876514613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18217381550919853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1789325295116049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859127453152989,0.17651847405749493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2834572010273121,0.0,0.13197774333968085,0.1661545219219189,0.0,0.0,0.15108339632238302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19269189903739334,0.11025619082909736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433358182591444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13312278895224822,0.0,0.0,0.15384622154065594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12082057295763693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10687254791309113
bipolarreddit,StardustSilverFox,2020/02/26,"Am I accidentally keeping myself in a depressive phase? I've come a long way since my diagnosis, I've learned a lot about Bipolar as well as myself in the last few years. Long story short I'm the most stable I've been for years. My daughters father and I worked things out, I'm a stay at home Mom now, I'm able to pursue just about anything I want to now but... I keep myself down.

If I feel motivation to do anything, I get overwhelmed. If I want to clean I get overwhelmed, my place isn't filthy but there is still a lot to do. I've tried telling myself just focus on one thing, the dishes, putting away laundry, anything I just feel... Crippled by the weight of the task. If I feel any kind of inspiration to work on a personal project, again I get overwhelmed. I try to break things down into smaller pieces but then just get stuck in cycles of overthinking.

If I want to try something new I feel defeated already because I know my attention span will be short lived. Knowing that my interests, what inspires me, who I am and what I feel can change at any moment makes me fearful of pursuing anything. I tried to just ""go with it"" and had a few different hobbies I would try to cycle through but once I lost interest i just never went back to it. So I tried to stick with one thing, if I worked on a project it was going to be this one...for months I tried and worked on it but just... Couldn't. 

So I just... End up getting lost in my head and can't break these vicious cycles. I feel defeated before even trying. Things I've failed spectacularly previously I feel nauseated at the thought of even trying again. I fear anything that might be fueled by mania because I know how unreliable it is, and I have to make sure I'm not making bad decisions or choices based on mania. 

I really don't know if I'm stringing words together well enough to convey this daily struggle, but any thoughts or insights is greatly appreciated.",4.108951127819548,5.430171586842111,4.949699248120304,83.74789473684211,71.28947368421052,7.744360902255639,28.83458646616541,8.192908349453996,1.8866428571428573,1513,58,303,22,28,491,186,380,0.096,0.784,0.121,0.3262,1,0,1,0,0,0,49.0,0,0,0,10,24,23,1,6,14,0,22,4,1,5,2,72,60,26,0,11,23,3,8,0,0,3,1,0,2,1,18,11,2,2,20,0,0,5,6,14,2,2,9,8,43,9,48,44,7,48,0,9,0,0,6,22,0,12,17,199,61,9,0.07471011904260054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08244447414830733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15241632860434115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3074003112868367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07019261614725368,0.057447469963327426,0.062379828756814276,0.09108519026822977,0.0,0.06357280864497758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07903339973880592,0.06435615226916692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06434771605758202,0.0,0.0,0.07805617316124977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06617099033358148,0.07719552424467713,0.0,0.09869065803944757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16813930914478806,0.2644297668309285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19516476826654947,0.0,0.08491896469455773,0.0,0.0,0.08236816999435675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07667413600757376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07494034089049711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13281157305535995,0.0,0.07779909228000324,0.16423491034962662,0.06089871844647786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06597040386744821,0.13223220872472094,0.0,0.0,0.16310984065838566,0.12703174310175894,0.0,0.0,0.14960875378355334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07925562996198593,0.0,0.08749958847320947,0.05963290424369179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05762104953839797,0.07215549851956228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07956383850585548,0.15187653052903244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06523399424437097,0.07805617316124977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07510430471115549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04786121532062191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061800982505107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057515499645168874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.079631046401769,0.059663597574415826,0.0,0.0,0.07810323772926324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07041340303970982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06529993702502604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24817041691685565,0.0,0.0,0.11862297863709312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4565094005602206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13219789165129353,0.05930141502621724,0.0,0.0909767979706334,0.1343467386877951,0.0692570288411443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21755942582494608,0.0,0.0,0.053071925029830234,0.0,0.0,0.09622173439193027
bipolarreddit,binxash13,2020/02/26,"I just need to say this (trigger warning mention of selfharm/suicide) First, I want to say sorry if it is jumbled, I am on my phone. Second, this has been on my mind and I need to get it out somewhere. This is going to be a long post.

I was 9 years old the first time I tried to kill myself. I just couldn't deal with being thrown into another wall or punched into a corner. I couldn't stand the shame of you saying everyday how my mom didn't love me that is why she didn't want me. Or how about my step mother writing whore on my shirt at 10 years old and making me go to school, I didn't even know what a whore was, but later I would prove you right. You said it was just for attention, maybe it was, maybe I just wanted to be a daddy's girl like all my friends, I just wanted you to see me, to love your little girl. You said I don't need medication, I will get over it.

I was 12 when the second attempt landed me in ICU. You told them once again it was for attention. I wasn't Bipolar, I was bathed, had a roof over my head, and was fed. There are people who have it worse you said. I didn't understand why nobody loved me. Was I that hideous, that unlovable. When I woke up from my coma, I started to cry. Not because I was so happy to be alive, but because I was such a failure, I couldn't even kill myself properly. The door was closed and curtains drawn, you smacked me so hard I was seeing stars. You were angry you had to miss work, and that in our small town people would look down on you. You told me to quit crying, crying is a sign of weakness.  

I was 17 when I tried to drown myself with Cymbalta and Jack Daniel's. I became everything you said I would be, a whore and a drunk. I slept my way through the whole county from 14-17, partying and not caring. Someone from that party dropped me, in the snow, outside the ER, where I almost froze to death.

At 35, I have had several more attempts, I don't cry or even really express emotions. I don't like to be affectionate or touched. I have never been in a stable, healthy relationship and the last one almost killed me. I have been with men who have stabbed me, beat me, raped me, and broken my bones. I just wanted to be loved. I was diagnosed Bipolar at 9 years old, but in 1994 it was just a hush, hush sweep under the rug type of thing. If you are ever feeling alone, trapped and broken, I am here for you. Send me a message,  I have horrible insomnia, I will answer. I will listen with no judgement, no criticism,  because chances are I have been there. This is just a little of my life that I wanted to share. 

Are you proud of me yet dad?",3.329186186186188,3.9709225592592614,4.349299299299299,89.87481981981985,72.48148148148148,7.1711711711711725,24.779779779779787,7.113659591113569,0.8122902902902904,2002,55,449,18,37,652,245,540,0.225,0.675,0.099,-0.9978,0,2,0,0,0,3,78.0,1,17,1,8,27,23,4,1,22,0,67,22,4,4,4,72,104,27,5,17,19,3,4,2,1,6,8,10,5,3,22,19,2,0,7,2,0,4,16,11,1,5,38,17,93,12,56,50,3,59,0,1,3,8,52,30,0,8,23,319,115,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15155699811895915,0.07837742688158425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07935279680545579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383940089878767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771566404562953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3325057634434597,0.0,0.07801854704280259,0.0,0.07680946233084786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08512522041677263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14994968749046694,0.06845319904579228,0.0,0.0,0.06801263418221347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03826401721362314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12873979191360072,0.0,0.0,0.058467025402876675,0.0,0.07907508597627966,0.0,0.08601673465299488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0805584203534608,0.06779075696229572,0.0,0.07766532288085927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511725680220858,0.0,0.041589504638672316,0.0616859723167803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0534521378606965,0.0739428605744681,0.15169429831572753,0.0,0.06697080476290065,0.06354871043383985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27320187707902,0.0,0.05051426192901561,0.0,0.15205325941428138,0.0,0.0,0.07623552441205549,0.0,0.0,0.07641110293480771,0.08863071883904705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16833819970319935,0.058365932114208825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23822743307375924,0.08059238132904974,0.05127995956114344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10492830409595713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07247660929767402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08049065238165419,0.0,0.0,0.04847992993333832,0.0,0.0,0.08124761345155387,0.0,0.06462681924594085,0.2879405049912492,0.1805415787439226,0.0,0.07658806769109618,0.12060781538986926,0.0,0.0,0.08549224540616297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06411995851362003,0.0,0.0,0.08471299289711719,0.05356380323458866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08277717000540621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05027571633130935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044127235508829,0.0,0.0,0.14462316256383842,0.0,0.10275795967714256,0.0,0.0,0.0787812979811679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2678136976529447,0.060068020131952435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13657148809771846,0.08448945828323197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055092968542872614,0.0,0.07712022413699204,0.1612739996030749,0.0,0.0,0.14619842737388056
bipolarreddit,WaterBuffaloCheese,2020/02/26,"How does the weight gain with Abilify work? My doctor prescribed me abilify, after i had issues with lithium and ive noticed that people report weight gain as a main issue. 
I was wondering, does the weight gain occur because it slows the metabolism or does it increase apetite and makes you consume more?",6.511545454545455,8.346363745454546,6.2925,74.43875,66.0909090909091,8.40909090909091,33.75,8.841846274778883,3.1659999999999995,246,11,38,4,4,77,41,55,0.0,0.785,0.215,0.9163,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,4,1,0,0,0,4,0,3,4,0,2,0,8,5,5,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,4,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,6,0,4,3,3,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,25,9,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11140071743421136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1870490335840793,0.4797687150275803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3814802380973329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121984869013621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.208058376453191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12669358060653496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6676088967229756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1981810457200032,0.13304180432682056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sinufkin,2020/02/26,"Icarus : flying high crashing hard You know the myth about icarus? I really think that that story is a good metaphor for a bipolar disorder.  When you're becoming hypo manic or manic, you're inspired and full of idea's, you create wings out of the simplest things and you start flying. At first it seems great. All your worries disappear and you fly trough the sky. Getting high on life and feeling invincible. 

But the flying can't last forever, with every clap of your wings you get closer to the sun. You go higher and higher. But when you get too close to the sun your wings start burning. You fall down. Into the dept of the ocean, there is no light what so ever and you can't find the surface . 

And after a long time when you finally hit the shore it all starts again. 

I do believe we have a way of life that no one will ever experience. No one will fly as high as we do (even tho it's shitty non the less). But sadly enough we also experience the lowest of the low. But maybe (and this might sound cheesy and optimistic) we can one day find beauty in de dept of the ocean as well as the burning of our wings. (barf sounds included haha)",2.0937956906502464,4.421317694690267,3.0704924971142766,90.55001731435169,80.01769911504425,5.877337437475952,19.56060023085801,7.079830092131019,0.33893943824547845,893,22,182,11,23,284,131,226,0.10800000000000001,0.7979999999999999,0.094,-0.1531,1,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,5,13,0,1,14,7,0,0,19,1,11,3,0,0,4,35,23,24,0,0,5,0,2,0,0,3,3,2,0,0,9,17,0,0,8,0,0,3,5,2,1,4,0,5,20,5,24,19,5,35,0,2,0,0,18,15,0,3,16,122,29,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10692412561189356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476670620070904,0.0,0.15064015103440248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08622889403664076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532379227039893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1381533753794575,0.0,0.08831112723163878,0.24188830019655666,0.11265252985867405,0.0,0.0,0.2615789902025195,0.0,0.0,0.06760544584850937,0.0,0.0,0.14646768302510418,0.24440854787194435,0.1137297082814476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20956659149600326,0.0,0.07598783557125124,0.11214570976566976,0.0,0.1474106280110402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1197737373798862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4238011515163337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15093707327571554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07348096745877089,0.10898771129524748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18888009544077905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183250334002415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13432500223423602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418402543956895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27180663048549536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08565507535578208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121720335305869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28391201938882704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0888278979950186,0.08567299392014187,0.0,0.0,0.07796466884230951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10612908884046997,0.0,0.0,0.12021717322698695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357842801512525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,itsbudgie,2020/02/26,My friend found dead why cant I cry A good friend of mine was found dead about 5 hours ago. I was with him yesterday there a bunch of us just having a laugh. This medication I'm on is just fucking my emotions up I dont know if I feel upset I'm trying to be but I'm not. I cant cry does this make me a bad person or is it the medication I'm on. I feel ashamed that im not as upset as friends are I have bipolar and borderline personality disorder I hate the fact that medication is in control of me fuck it just ignore this I'm sorry for this venting I dont know what to do,-0.5195274725274714,1.3209742999999996,2.645274725274728,92.63615384615385,86.76923076923076,5.868131868131869,20.05494505494506,7.1686216300943375,0.3241868131868131,449,14,111,7,14,161,75,130,0.27399999999999997,0.616,0.11,-0.9761,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,1,0,0,1,5,13,3,3,6,0,14,6,0,2,1,20,29,6,2,1,8,0,2,0,3,0,4,0,0,2,9,2,0,2,6,0,0,0,6,8,0,0,4,2,16,5,14,24,1,7,0,0,0,2,7,4,2,2,3,70,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12215956941113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150649525906764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545647720680208,0.0,0.0,0.3027539410951299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15794131933199776,0.0,0.1205977877773578,0.0,0.3230227875752046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15501683760830134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13936097700786074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30220142008450696,0.31941321283906,0.2548048290791534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11558784565377088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360580860630304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357143341601206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488576189578773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1514726999875695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09198873259904676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.416484909521789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406594120125424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542661528387438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09356342262752823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16576753833215654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12435139720470365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,pabloblessedcobar,2020/02/26,"Positive mania stories Obviously mania is really really troubling at times and can be a big hindrance to our lives, but does anyone have any positive stories about things they've done while manic? Last night I apologised to everyone I feel like I've fucked over in my life and today I decided to donate to charity. Let's share some stories to remind us that sometimes nice things come out of this illness, even if they're few and far between.",7.242168674698796,7.848956349397593,7.517734939759038,70.73057831325305,63.81927710843375,10.977349397590363,34.672289156626505,10.793553405168565,4.018230843373496,359,15,59,9,5,117,66,83,0.145,0.634,0.22,0.7634,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,2,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,1,0,6,3,0,0,1,11,9,6,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,1,1,6,3,12,6,2,12,0,0,0,1,3,6,1,2,6,38,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1618434146103642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16641025307597046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20500991323832188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2082692954567628,0.2435494886940227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15719214502972606,0.0,0.0,0.2274125294109515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12033642171437348,0.1700222609172515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2200207118610996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19399607566375454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24336398729294034,0.16810150819317354,0.11627136799541725,0.0,0.2101521967409828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2233403270177926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3049288453207383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23538118207409334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3162239745325367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13877564374995532,0.0,0.22558955500206096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28627629954354844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,00WELVAERT,2020/02/26,"Lamictal and Tinnitus?! insight request please Hello. I have been taking SOLELY lamictal for 18 months. I have had mild tinnitus since I overdosed on Wellbutrin like 2 years ago. I have experienced random muting of ears following by eeeeeeeeeeee maybe a few times a month for the past 6 months.

​

recently my right ear has felt numb and the tinnitus has been really loud.

​

anyone have experience with tinnitus while on lamictal? super worried rn. It'd be detrimental to my well being if this was permanent. 

​

thanks",5.0830072463768134,8.65274635869566,5.099999999999998,72.15333333333334,79.97826086956522,9.153623188405795,31.57971014492754,9.2995712137729,4.249257971014494,443,22,62,14,12,138,70,92,0.048,0.8,0.151,0.8674,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,1,1,5,0,0,4,0,13,3,2,0,0,7,17,4,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,5,5,6,4,8,9,1,13,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,2,10,38,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11824398120453786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4335906080769082,0.4862577303431666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09327080497017454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13048299577279887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12807726207398218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06516860522389246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340102176030359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3194167236937617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12733778089919912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14642438590337828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08545434652006413,0.0,0.1317085315480582,0.0,0.0,0.11391605998453412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11034326100775683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10029420149647446,0.0,0.0,0.12280945427151947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07778196213008204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199354496616883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354660757675619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4862577303431666,0.08590009027567183
bipolarreddit,marcuspowerxD,2020/02/26,Bipolar academician Is being bipolar an obstacle to be an academician in your homeland? Moreover is being bipolar an obstacle to be an academician abroad(europe or usa)?,9.742222222222221,12.495661925925925,9.778703703703703,48.999166666666696,59.37037037037037,14.288888888888893,54.24074074074074,13.023866798666859,9.27071851851852,140,11,14,6,2,46,15,27,0.177,0.823,0.0,-0.6553,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,6,3,0,0,0,1,6,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,15,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,realuptoknowgood,2020/02/26,"Is it safe to take melatonin with seroquel? I’m on 200  mg of seroquel, 75 mg of lamictal. It seems my body has adjusted to the seroquel and I no longer get tired like I used to.",1.884122807017544,3.0617682894736897,3.6342105263157904,91.56780701754387,76.63157894736842,7.171929824561403,28.456140350877188,7.793537801064563,1.555498245614035,137,6,32,2,3,46,29,38,0.12300000000000001,0.747,0.13,0.0772,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,2,2,1,1,0,6,7,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,7,7,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,17,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4868030016738226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2289703816374657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21410947324395732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3989712973199258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3295135530069711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5037101639402126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3785119924180028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,EfficientKoala1,2020/02/26,"Latuda cause apathy or disinterest? Latuda has helped me to not wake up everyday and wish it was time for bed, dreading and putting off just getting out of bed. That's the good news. However, I'm on 40mg a day and now I think I've tipped too far over the edge.  I don't dread or look forward to waking up. I don't do anything except what I absolutely have to do. Like nothing.  Cleaning, cooking, crafts. Nothing. 
I have no problem adjusting my meds to see if a lower dose works better and then notifying the Dr.  Don't ever cold turkey these meds. But I'm going to drop to 20mg, half what I'm taking, and see if that's the razor's edge and, more importantly, identify the latuda as the reason. If it's effective at half then I'll keep it in my regimen.",2.853269230769232,4.123458044871796,4.910769230769233,83.0092307692308,74.3205128205128,8.02051282051282,25.82051282051281,8.59863814320734,1.7475743589743593,589,20,123,11,12,204,100,156,0.064,0.7859999999999999,0.15,0.9085,2,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,3,4,6,0,2,8,0,9,5,2,3,1,26,21,15,0,5,9,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,3,0,8,7,1,1,4,1,0,3,5,3,0,2,1,4,8,3,18,20,1,20,0,0,3,0,1,10,0,5,9,74,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16611458736605622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17852984823260562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20736708191304395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13018378968642386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1825950335569319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054641578379498,0.0,0.11472238528921425,0.169311617149641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13530332315495294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17942353053557786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09861919746700623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16951258781060574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44844462622073145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3873825766227403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19315392907122494,0.0,0.20292628420383746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2075469578428301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3217145203631665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15177451823919436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12934452131053356,0.0,0.0,0.11770690283034403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321304450326136,0.0,0.0,0.14695737496661487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Brocktreee,2020/02/26,"[RULE 5 UPDATE] Studies and surveys are no longer allowed. Hello /r/bipolarreddit, 

One of the things you don't see behind the scenes is the number of requests we get in our modbox seeking approval to submit a study or a survey. These are usually submitted in good faith. However, we have decided to no longer allow studies or surveys of any kind to be served to this community. Any posts of this kind will be removed, and repeat offenders will be banned.

There are multiple reasons for this. 

1) **We are not able to effectively screen every study proposed to us.** Many (most) of these are in the form of surveys, some with the opportunity to win some kind of gift card, and we simply do not have the time to go through all of these ourselves.

2) **We are not able to vet survey providers.** Some survey applicants have provided us their names and, in some cases, their faculty advisors names (in the case of more academic studies), but we simply cannot vet them. We do not have the resources at our disposal necessary to authenticate whether someone is who they say they are.

3) **We cannot verify how your information will be used.** Your information, whatever you choose to submit, may be used inappropriately. At worst, you may fall victim to a scam through a bad survey, and that could have disastrous consequences.

Most importantly, 

4) **We are a community of people with a shared mental illness, and many of us come here at our most vulnerable times.** These posts do not serve the needs of this community. They do not offer support, they do not proffer advice, and they do not represent a fellow human being in need of help. 

For these reasons and more I'm sure I'm not thinking of, these types of posts are no longer allowed and no further requests will be granted approval. Retroactively, this applies to any outstanding request we have not replied to, as well.

Our job is to help protect you as your community moderators. I do not believe that these requests are necessarily predatory in nature, but we can't know that. I do know, however, that this is a step we need to take for the good of the community, and I welcome any feedback you have.",3.3623650279658506,6.194675883544306,4.393064468648813,79.92787165145721,78.77215189873421,7.522519870473949,28.173388283779808,8.499448955792047,2.5180968501619074,1694,75,298,38,43,549,181,395,0.10400000000000001,0.753,0.14300000000000002,0.9229,5,0,0,0,0,0,73.0,19,8,8,5,4,17,2,0,19,0,47,1,0,9,2,75,63,18,0,4,16,0,0,0,1,6,1,1,0,1,19,25,0,2,10,0,0,5,19,4,1,1,0,3,38,13,52,49,12,24,1,0,2,0,53,11,0,11,5,222,57,4,0.22081686047691326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107889840209868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30032607451419074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921864274858993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12439249250271273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09510708641990244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08815214752967293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930238643524493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0576838478596857,0.0,0.06274765526778821,0.18521070598304987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14800888695802475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10956333071140467,0.0,0.0,0.3449201699590677,0.1213551716583154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22387363794687054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11126572934043176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455993561250275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07481560972221157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07654330380951667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31722226937827264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22703650956644564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08780121519552447,0.0,0.0,0.08798122427239878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09354870465214593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12529017823550767,0.10405863886964467,0.0,0.0830133990406401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07335045510445383,0.07074526399978441,0.0,0.0,0.1287600871062408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3984232420362104,0.19071486912466187,0.12159928752212693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09927043830379684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,RevolutionaryTime8,2020/02/26,"[Possible Triggering - Anxiety] Catch 22 Situation So I think I need some help, my head is stuck in a major catch-22 situation and I’m really paralysed by it mentally.

For example, let’s say something had happened to you and you have two options;
- You speak to someone about it and said person is deeply hurt
- You don’t speak to someone about it and said person is still deeply hurt by your clearly lifeless state of suppressed emotion 

What do you do?!

P.S; I feel great empathy for anyone who has found themselves in this mental situation before or at current.",6.413356449375867,7.762907533980581,6.645658807212207,73.6242718446602,65.89320388349515,9.769209431345352,36.0735090152566,9.957137785484203,3.853092649098474,448,22,75,10,7,144,73,103,0.086,0.8240000000000001,0.09,0.1043,1,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,6,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,0,10,1,1,1,1,14,19,6,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,0,2,6,4,0,1,3,0,0,1,1,2,0,1,5,6,10,1,13,13,2,7,0,2,0,0,15,3,0,3,2,49,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11521756725759574,0.0,0.0,0.1053112290429995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281594958815275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1694179333614199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07615382006294963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16513799674772142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16604997275033395,0.0,0.0,0.1331854624296394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15457109458162427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10095187316093014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3224659609143446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15401070626894725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30356241510603826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11167669526479797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.263016720352422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16979210466244715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09648573593818616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2865325049839709,0.11977249909740705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.507881711381017,0.0,0.0,0.255225673552725,0.11594827406577635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12027872844689155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09650592021637436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471257831952086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,frustrated54321,2020/02/26,"32 weeks pregnant and going through withdrawal because PDoc was too disorganized to give me a refill on my meds As mentioned in the title, my PDoc (and pharmacy) was too disorganized to give me a refill on my meds. I’m 32 weeks pregnant so I can only imagine the impact this is having on the baby. I was diagnosed with bipolar2 in pregnancy and put on Lamotrigine. I noticed I was running low last Thursday and asked my pharmacy to fax a renewal request to my PDoc. Monday rolls around and the pharmacy says it was sent back to them saying they had the wrong number. I confirmed the number with the PDoc office and told them I am out of meds, so my pharmacy would be faxing over a renewal request. I called several times today, left messages at the PDoc’s office asking them if they could renew the medication and letting them know I’m having symptoms of withdrawal (shakes, nausea, lightheadedness). I got my pharmacy to fax another “urgent” request for a refill, and still nothing. I’m so frustrated and it feels like at this point my only option is to go to emergency where I’ll be treated like garbage because they don’t think it’s their job to refill medications. I’m so pissed. Why would the doctor put me on this medication in the first place to turn around and essentially make me beg for a refill when I’m in withdrawal?!",5.8006231109044375,6.915788304347828,6.771429900023251,73.02190188328301,67.14229249011858,9.747407579632645,32.668914205998604,9.916854025145753,3.3905626133457325,1063,45,183,24,17,355,127,253,0.08900000000000001,0.865,0.046,-0.9395,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,8,1,12,8,2,1,17,0,19,7,1,1,0,25,38,17,0,4,1,0,1,2,0,2,6,2,0,0,6,15,0,0,4,0,0,7,1,5,0,1,9,3,28,3,33,23,0,38,0,1,0,0,22,20,1,2,13,125,34,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12277163673299114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20845722065986005,0.21891342620123036,0.0,0.0,0.0900295284574211,0.0,0.14274530687840634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195547387950063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09348117419033064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11883668612283715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11983931663652375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05920063577359475,0.08364405222099973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09959066096086718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2246331863860265,0.13308182855439712,0.0,0.09364189652881463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11618671910015604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06434570375537252,0.0954381961276557,0.0,0.0,0.12721092113573074,0.11972520511151474,0.0,0.11440158863843172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07815374964777398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3901581459825541,0.3538461334467717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11234420709851428,0.1332996657448501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1780936536030797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12232671808495935,0.0,0.11068119174223223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2354013202873576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18621805416714804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13227035868975867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09350256084605583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1216939707133306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07502199926415465,0.0,0.0,0.06827198468130899,0.0,0.11098090577849673,0.11187773520443288,0.0,0.0,0.1273525817132742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18783369147469106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10564911256955417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1663446758512903,0.1280117789227374,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,pastamadeinhaste,2020/02/26,"How do I handle an induced mixed state? I recently went on a new drug to help with my depression (i'm not going to name this drug because my doctor isn't sure if its the drug alone or a combination of things). I can't remember when I started the drug, but the first symptom happened a week ago, I had insomnia and I was up for 2 days straight. I am now on sleep medication so insomnia isn't an issue anymore. But since then I havn't been able to control myself. Nothing dangerous or harmful. I can't stop talking, I am unable to communicate effectively and use the right words, I have been irritable, i've been starting issues (never arguments, but things i would never put energy int). If I could get away from myself and just not be around my own energy I would.  My doctor says I am in a mixed state (part depression part mania). I really need advice on how to manage it and work around it. Im in college right now and the last thing i want is to get derailed and off track. I just had surgery for my appendix and just got back to school while being out for a week. Does anyone have any advice on how to manage work while being in a mixed state?",4.119009740259742,5.032917077922079,5.4674648268398265,81.57834009740259,70.86147186147187,8.718722943722941,26.991612554112557,9.017664075816787,2.014880735930737,899,29,182,17,16,302,129,231,0.115,0.8170000000000001,0.067,-0.8961,0,1,4,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,5,13,5,1,0,13,0,23,12,2,7,3,42,35,22,0,7,12,0,0,0,0,2,10,1,0,0,7,11,0,2,3,0,0,3,8,4,0,1,8,1,25,1,27,21,3,42,0,2,0,0,4,16,0,4,20,131,32,8,0.10316319092936724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2016197524205489,0.09144794424812627,0.0,0.0,0.10684595341230232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07015450744852454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10231016462559862,0.07213410176147761,0.0,0.0,0.1836742235874612,0.0,0.0,0.09692521380272263,0.07932612594093849,0.0,0.06288732366442264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11570629077146125,0.0823674134918533,0.0,0.0,0.06653172367159417,0.0,0.17770861036191904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21118379462980028,0.0902788035867649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4785461973304536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08775055750357927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077970187138223,0.0,0.05863001880182731,0.0,0.08250902792305778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09122686903716938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06914811229321978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11143394909616083,0.2153511373836137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08409176961510956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039260615431966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07649419889807997,0.1591316253074294,0.09963565265011486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09898786402337337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.223431365193876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10370750074854404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06608898175382974,0.0,0.10186120534266294,0.0,0.11686378486078795,0.17620160275916175,0.0,0.0820395100943242,0.0,0.10440665684042563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08533765759577236,0.0,0.10323769415208436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14603887503567167,0.0,0.0,0.08624904695885588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09723008656471313,0.10722605585593076,0.0,0.08291866511680651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20561112013875127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08909987404985227,0.0,0.0,0.06084832287625225,0.0,0.16550257811157645,0.0,0.0,0.09563331153930613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15020806332850664,0.0,0.0,0.1465683418793509,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bootybootydoubleduty,2020/02/27,"Does anyone else get offended when people use 'Bipolar' to describe things non-health related. The weather changes everyday: ""what's up with this bipolar weather?""

""My microwave only works sometimes, it's a little bipolar.""

""The Bluetooth in my car is bipolar because it only pairs with my phone sometimes.""",7.571470588235298,10.124968058823534,6.50406862745098,71.14080882352944,64.49019607843138,7.452941176470588,44.12254901960785,8.07648339933343,4.476407843137255,245,16,31,3,4,74,39,51,0.042,0.958,0.0,-0.25,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,3,0,1,4,0,1,0,3,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,5,3,0,6,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,18,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17861520382403082,0.2617366968029688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15571874966172106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27023014724127964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22354429472151707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2133940528228799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13346105378049294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27152931331588404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2560260372247016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3885594793723399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17709550186574846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5052892719694617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697083221169928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22062508266525396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859692100703616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mermaidbipolarbear,2020/02/27,"Unpopular opinion: A diagnosis from BD should also come with a PTSD diagnosis. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop when I'm stable and it keeps me from living my life. I get paranoid that happiness will turn into mania, sadness into depression or anxiety to panic. Every emotion is a trigger. It's frustrating to no end.",3.805956284153005,6.447022737704923,6.365163934426231,67.53550546448089,75.72131147540983,8.656830601092896,31.478142076502728,9.2995712137729,3.7188010928961748,261,13,39,7,6,93,51,61,0.295,0.623,0.08199999999999999,-0.9186,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,2,5,1,1,4,0,3,2,1,1,0,12,10,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,4,5,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,0,0,4,1,9,8,0,6,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,2,2,29,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20485328446491893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19596382731942866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22066155475792948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22063262904532926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2881486515318093,0.22688419198541096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21582819230709485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13383448102847648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27269004509747685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4553785017735248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18093534877963507,0.0,0.0,0.2261964299002067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3005518316870276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29944058433829346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2786315481595276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,didyoubringranch12,2020/02/27,Banned I’ve been banned from every single bipolar thread for simply voicing my opinion wrong or right. Who moderated these threads?,7.405909090909091,10.64143231818182,5.327272727272729,76.46090909090911,66.72727272727272,6.218181818181819,33.72727272727273,7.1686216300943375,2.5619272727272726,109,5,15,1,2,31,21,22,0.336,0.664,0.0,-0.8442,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,8,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5190821222019096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5261372154680941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6735973433066985,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,octupi,2020/02/27,"Advice on returning to work and mania tl;dr: worried about triggering a manic episode need advice

Just to preface: I have a diagnosis of Bipolar I with psychotic features and a history of long periods of mania. 

I guess I’m looking for advice. I’ve been on disability since 2016 and after a lot of different rehabilitation strategies (inpatient, outpatient day program, stable medication routine, and other numerous therapeutic practices) I feel prepared to return to work. 

Unfortunately the job I got is a 8pm-3am shift. My case worker is rightfully concerned about this disruption in my sleep schedule (I usually wake up at 6am) combined with other stressors in my life (I’m getting married in June, moving on Saturday, going back to school in September, going back to work etc). 

I don’t feel like mania is onset, I’m not feeling any euphoria or delusions of grandeur I generally associate with my shifts. No psychotic symptoms I think. I have a lot of coping strategies and a great support network. On the other hand, I know my thought patterns are getting a bit more erratic, I’m highly irritable, and I’m engaging in a lot of potential triggers. 

I’ve had some traumatic manic episodes in the past so I know it’s also possible I’m being overly diligent and maybe a bit paranoid about the possibility. I guess I was wondering what you all thought and whether it’s worth the risk? I could really use the money and I feel like I’m wasting away without purpose. 

My options are to continue with this job until I find something better or hold out and not work until something better comes up. I’m limited by the long gap in my resume so I’m also scared nothing better will turn up for a long while. 

Sorry this post is so long and thanks for taking the time to read it.",5.464559270516716,7.311130860182378,6.829937993920975,69.53474285714286,68.66565349544072,9.519319148936171,35.956352583586614,9.888512548439397,4.114166589665654,1419,75,224,35,25,482,182,329,0.113,0.7709999999999999,0.11599999999999999,0.4253,3,0,2,0,0,0,35.0,0,1,0,9,11,11,0,2,19,0,15,7,3,3,1,51,49,22,0,2,7,0,5,2,0,1,4,0,0,0,10,17,0,2,11,1,2,4,5,2,0,0,6,6,25,9,48,40,9,46,0,0,1,0,1,20,0,10,23,150,35,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27085754848246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14777408177971985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06283074177794094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08680672563596857,0.1420897820114152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24514360193712506,0.2017395236192439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0795888108985202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07376868395549352,0.0,0.0,0.059586157783496366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09653153251315837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10304316490916417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868676994345378,0.13201185600182502,0.0,0.0,0.0844459763739088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09654357066379037,0.0,0.10501869960319732,0.0,0.07389551457668443,0.10186414934068097,0.20356369241364206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09761879535935764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18337256533972085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10155409204765573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06526025466773203,0.0902775848652934,0.0,0.0,0.3270613261920453,0.07758726203854605,0.0,0.0,0.23564892453986436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09282167963324026,0.0,0.0,0.09307672128708408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09819965833929786,0.0,0.06850860241592073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08865404590241059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0882000411255614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2083195560918184,0.08848742388090312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09241849338795148,0.0,0.059189635819034726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0789035359698264,0.0,0.0,0.09250200206240113,0.0935071449350877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07642885002461923,0.0,0.09246021587107696,0.0,0.0,0.1422580456907265,0.0,0.10342694813328847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10484703799044147,0.0,0.09603221335841264,0.06946840626700465,0.0,0.0,0.08506351250089908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05920201796095045,0.0,0.14670022184483558,0.05387538725942447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10049758609359057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07979831064997478,0.10175837641860623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08906402767358887,0.10019679909342613,0.2690542456415319,0.0938300743851939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sillywilly134,2020/02/27,"SSRI and a mixed episode? I'm very lost right now and would appreciate any insight. 

So, I got diagnosed with bp2 two years ago and was put on Abilify 30mg. Was doing well and it stopped my paranoia and weird thoughts and I felt I was thinking more rationally.I really liked it.Sadly, a few months ago I started to get dystonia and side effects from Abilify. Doc switched to other antipsychotics but all caused same sides with varying intensity. 

3 days ago, I asked him for another type of mood stablizer but he told me lithium and others are for people who are more manic and I'm more depressed. So,instead, he put me on Lexapro and xanax only without any mood stablizers and wanted to see me in 3 weeks. I tried to argue that I don't do well on ssri's but he looked annoyed and insisted that they would help my current problem:panic attacks that appeared after stopping Abilify.

It's my third day on Lexapro 10mg and I'm having worse anxiety , insomnia, akathisia, pacing around, picking fights with friends over trivial shit and just being aggressive and lashing out at everyone. I feel very agitated and my mood is just f\*\*\*\* awful. I had to take some extra xanax than described just to stay sane. 

I don't think this is a mixed episode because I'm not having clear symptoms of hypomania. I'm not talking fast or having racing thoughts and I'm just feeling really awful. What is more confusing i that those symptoms I'm currently having  can happen to people with just depression when they start on a new antidepressant. It's called SSRI Activation Syndrome. But I couldn't find many people talking about it and it's supposed to happen more with children and adolescents. I'm 27. 

So maybe the doc changed his mind about my diagnosis and now thinks I just have plain old depression and if I stick with Lexapro, these sides will disappear? Or should I just stop it until I seek a different opinion?

So yeah, I'm doubting my diagnosis and I don't know what to think anymore. I just want relief whatever the diagnosis.

(Yes..I'm gonna find another psychiatrist for a different opinion but that will take some time.)

So sorry for the wall of text 😫",3.887793870425448,6.357491663390665,4.707006983059613,80.39231701797495,74.62653562653563,7.9205741626794275,30.61224621750937,8.766177420268882,2.797618181818182,1725,81,306,37,38,556,220,407,0.188,0.7490000000000001,0.062,-0.9947,4,0,0,0,1,0,48.0,0,0,2,2,20,21,6,2,9,3,27,7,1,3,2,85,63,36,0,7,19,0,3,1,1,6,6,0,0,1,19,30,0,3,14,0,0,4,7,13,2,2,10,5,31,5,39,45,11,44,0,4,2,0,18,15,1,10,25,187,50,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506683067971002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12820052428655532,0.19768036614042084,0.07210890054398864,0.0,0.09348092675634187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08391168514409457,0.08812069179021621,0.1072347423033489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0574602271327531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09625034400338983,0.0,0.0,0.09683133229871108,0.09971493909585524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12158024005292882,0.0,0.24355887291365,0.09567225887347007,0.0,0.19696398177359106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0900697923669137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09532171816623776,0.0,0.09050470644465942,0.0,0.1723044824663529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07282530329156155,0.0,0.049247136136547284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07538860311913219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1667082111319421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06318071761761627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051803016626669314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04605083985781446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07915494382076611,0.0,0.10289629372478837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09556518795497104,0.0946971789398636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09517607074630326,0.0,0.07523770247035222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09103722178329172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09891036840236386,0.0,0.0,0.07168923455852574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1960447495918265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09019441329911948,0.0,0.18951534907670847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12077117235299972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08049781359533648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07511328543377324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09675688236718004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055167311481682,0.1334359047387596,0.10046897853734647,0.0,0.23641758972053625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19594516557608446,0.14174408661697774,0.15152577828182687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24159287401825866,0.0,0.1496643587300827,0.05496396109097288,0.0,0.0,0.0900697923669137,0.0,0.06399658206950412,0.0,0.09207865363239848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15554930113034435,0.1111943790698968,0.0,0.07560995742236841,0.0,0.16950272809031844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908636021136002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09605933727583342,0.13391967926316795,0.0,0.0,0.060700567205119224
bipolarreddit,ceebycee,2020/02/27,"Caffeine and lithium? I'm going to see my doctor soon so I'll be getting medical advice, but I wanted to hear personal experience if anyone has some to share. I've been on lithium (plus latuda) a couple months, it's been working great. I've been consistently drinking 2-3 caffeinated things (energy drinks or coffee) a day for that whole time, but Saturday I decided to stop because expensive, and haven't had more caffeine than a can of Dr. Pepper. Since Sunday I've been depressed to the point of nonfunction. This kind of depression last happened the last time we tried raising my lithium dose. Has anyone experienced depression related to a decrease in caffeine while on lithium?",5.173460410557187,7.749338516129033,6.030557184750737,71.90447214076252,71.09677419354837,9.025219941348977,33.8533724340176,9.573946990214177,3.908025806451613,552,28,84,14,11,181,88,124,0.142,0.794,0.064,-0.903,0,0,2,0,0,0,17.0,1,0,0,1,2,6,0,0,6,0,10,6,0,0,0,12,17,9,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,4,4,2,1,1,2,1,1,1,3,0,0,5,3,5,3,15,11,3,16,0,3,1,0,4,4,0,3,11,52,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16574201333437547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2371920630291481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033933581627552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876714667610956,0.0,0.10938513414038367,0.0,0.4382574005963805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.173604157753985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3323086316454992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1659122110475545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08861480434618033,0.0,0.09639390229760794,0.0,0.0,0.18699684715722004,0.0,0.0,0.14998654410480092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19116404752353974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1766238702286448,0.0,0.2765113840986587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17086534896792252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353819695297682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480978787316188,0.0,0.0,0.16033732176474566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13515809475818333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14030406260652986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14180248234125814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126820846555758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1978032040142551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11515480987948827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000410269376198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18936474675043066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12347890787602568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,cheetahound,2020/02/27,I need to stop adapting to everyone Am i just sucking up to everyone? Like im less superior to whoever i talk to? What is my true identity?,-0.10189655172413836,2.218321482758622,4.327155172413793,76.95211206896555,92.79310344827587,9.796551724137933,31.38793103448276,9.516144504307137,4.323406896551724,109,7,22,5,4,42,21,29,0.068,0.6509999999999999,0.281,0.7812,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,3,6,4,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,2,15,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7247853791834499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4096585412095376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18528395897758893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2812114457555312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3170726609301787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3048293600496962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,maria111111111121,2020/02/27,"Quetiapine/Seroquel withdrawals I’m 7 days in on going off my last dose (25 mg — have done taper from 150 mg) and basically I feel as if I have a cold, a stomach bug, a flu with a fever, a hangover and an anxiety disorder all together. This medication is not something to take lightly. 

Is there a light at the end of the tunnel?",3.296363636363637,4.586252878787882,5.64890909090909,78.07336363636367,73.24242424242425,8.916363636363636,31.381818181818186,9.3871,2.9224945454545463,254,12,51,6,5,90,54,66,0.11900000000000001,0.8809999999999999,0.0,-0.7184,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,9,0,5,5,1,0,1,7,9,4,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,9,8,1,8,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,3,33,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27818473943978256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23451867345777866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4167646443510527,0.0,0.0,0.3721314911034893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3220784197462427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838680601907876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2066658351146804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2964163435205359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3663305374607009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27994897980589045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2734131397456253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,cass-420,2020/02/27,"Idk what to do anymore I kind of think I'm getting manic... Not only have my emotions been everywhere, I haven't felt the way I felt last night in a long time. Everything felt easy, life felt easy, I got motivated and felt like I could take on the world and I thought it was just the new medication regimen working but today everything just made me mad. Stupid, irrational, meaningless things just make me want to kill people... I'm really tired of this I barely know which way is up anymore it feels like everything changes every 5 minutes. I can't even keep up or control my emotions I don't understand how I'm supposed to do that with all the real shit in my life

I've been on an anger streak for so long and I hate it so much. I've been on probably around 10 or more different medications over the last few months trying to find one that helps but none of them have and the one that started to work made me too nauseous so I had to stop taking it... Idk what to do anymore I feel like I'm drowning but I also feel like my lungs are full and that I'm completely in control and I don't understand. I don't understand any of this I just want it all to stop. I want to know how I'm going to feel in 2 seconds. I want to know that I'll be as rational as I am now forever. I want to know I'll never hurt someone I care about... Again. I'm so tired of putting myself and everyone around me through so much pain and stress, luckily a lot of my family doesn't know the extent to my symptoms which is also a bad thing since my mom gives me lectures on medications all the time but literally just went on a rant about how her brother's schizophrenia is real and how he needs to be on medication to be stable. Ya know schizophrenia? The disease that is always directly correlated with bipolar? Yeah. That was a fun rant to listen to, really confirmed the fact that even though my mom is the one that had to take me to the ER during my psychotic break, she still doesn't believe that this is real... But vastly more unlucky than that was lucky, my fiancé sees everything... I put him through fucking everything and I fucking hate it. I hate that the majority of the time I can't explain to him what I'm feeling and I can almost never explain why I'm feeling that way. He tries to help, he does everything he can and ik it hurts him to see me like that and I hate so much that he has to see all the crazy shit that I do. I just want it to stop so bad. I'm so done. I'm done with crying for no reason, with getting so mad I want to hurt people for no reason (and since the last thing I want to do is hurt someone else I always end up hurting myself), I'm done with feeling so ________ for no reason. I'm just so done and I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm not suicidal, to be clear, I'm exhausted but the only way things will get better is to get through this and get through the next thing and the next and the next and the fucking next until something happens, because at some point something's gotta give right?",2.4482720588235267,3.952942991987179,3.9128544494721003,88.80175339366518,75.81089743589743,7.1377073906485675,25.21606334841629,7.861635385654353,1.2566065610859718,2353,81,512,35,51,779,234,624,0.195,0.684,0.12,-0.9971,1,0,2,0,0,1,56.0,0,1,1,6,36,34,14,1,27,1,48,18,3,13,8,113,130,48,3,10,18,3,12,5,0,2,12,1,0,0,39,26,0,6,31,0,0,4,17,24,1,4,22,16,59,10,72,101,16,58,0,5,3,3,22,22,5,6,32,329,98,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04776531452757715,0.0,0.0,0.07629239136719076,0.07938153051557606,0.0,0.0,0.032438080371624566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18922492445090106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08492739017941907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07965610708421507,0.02907787587105084,0.0,0.0,0.05374230227537622,0.0,0.042187352014879664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04863399572474244,0.0,0.0504609669366573,0.0,0.050013228062757736,0.0,0.1070006788174281,0.03808509069516335,0.0,0.05239692845012287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049837030750403764,0.0,0.0,0.04174316366985166,0.19525732097891246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039847775512478964,0.10731363059183824,0.042248621044062566,0.0,0.0,0.06301166404006142,0.0,0.040189858216273786,0.04558001896034192,0.25722163177282514,0.0,0.04496793123981966,0.0,0.16883218696426386,0.10223207001428296,0.22900054098842976,0.0,0.043597533487005284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322954576549453,0.12460811443320975,0.09151762748761312,0.02710938086877741,0.0,0.03815057045502858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04218153070279457,0.0,0.0,0.18837808088556546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06394548563424507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25532268279844056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04239853289179294,0.05277370609156265,0.04967289065404574,0.1835052232938973,0.11664719833013792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06738476503958134,0.11652065019247786,0.0,0.0,0.08442715528461618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040553390147383336,0.0,0.09027102413218642,0.031840556874503205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19221356173119347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11173285865241084,0.03807420684574546,0.0,0.10519640735442287,0.03536943044806652,0.0735793698669636,0.04606958877040291,0.20292074626469908,0.04476383234665223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969695927393686,0.07255699351718109,0.050756858887161714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06613925467241992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04509253614176036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051429372715835066,0.0,0.0,0.09590466434077537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16288136139344833,0.06111652065642564,0.14713265020073674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04073609779175324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140337359821408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09792807148647713,0.07891694764870195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08083321849629922,0.07344458761819272,0.0,0.0,0.033762768338617875,0.0,0.03809380381553242,0.11963964764260755,0.05464093786950579,0.0,0.0,0.05217677322834675,0.0,0.0,0.049579243647873965,0.10759486592129866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15845097444984485,0.030564652945954857,0.0468656502593614,0.0378689909754387,0.0834439046486241,0.10964976919820547,0.04521464239847581,0.0,0.0,0.06477122567891243,0.0,0.0,0.14897418886619632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22508065237424105,0.15145023510689995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04421898405020967,0.043042420775360635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06945328829072472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Jay_bmx,2020/02/27,"idk any more what it is Episode?? Or mania idk anymore tbh my dudes

So idk, I can’t tell much of what the fuck goes on or what day it is, and wtf even is real, I just go with the flow now but it still has the nerve wrecking anxiety, I like sorta taking little things for no fucking reason like I need to, and it’s just my body going at it. I lost my job didn’t do a good job and I couldn’t concertante, it’s been my 6th one the past almost year. I randomly zone off a lot, and I keep feeling like I’m not allowed to rest at all, I have to keep doing something or else I can’t stay still or I just worry I’m doing nothing like I’m nothing. Just how life seems like nothing but a weird reality in a game you tend to play pov. Idk?? 
I also get these like false memories or delusions about my family or gf, they seem like fake scenarios in my head and I can’t see it like there there but I feel the emotion of what’s happening intensely, I get upset over everything and then it automatically goes to my down there and want sex all the time just all I think on. I’ve been feeling like this for months. I feel like everything in life is fast and I don’t know how to do it honestly",0.33749321266968124,2.2346261294117653,2.580098039215688,94.0331334841629,83.78431372549021,5.962292609351432,19.611613876319762,7.1686216300943375,0.2401794871794873,913,25,217,13,26,310,134,255,0.107,0.7040000000000001,0.18899999999999997,0.9752,3,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,1,1,17,19,2,1,10,0,18,7,2,4,3,49,44,22,0,3,15,0,4,10,1,0,2,0,0,0,16,9,0,2,9,2,0,3,8,6,0,1,4,5,27,13,22,39,7,25,0,1,1,3,5,11,2,12,20,137,43,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10477914923419776,0.0,0.0,0.08367841748306164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07115695767410983,0.0,0.08004725429150683,0.0,0.10377209275165457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11622846050641908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06748240729590875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08741104415134324,0.11770288781573884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06911195514201947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18808253093520655,0.0,0.09864274159463393,0.0,0.21163106789851815,0.22425874144224653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19347101047045245,0.10933734947313067,0.0,0.11893558712175467,0.0877648095507282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09253042598271348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10738806597460196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.207672764975258,0.1860128944661449,0.0,0.0,0.057505928029682636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14781685040757506,0.511205033030175,0.1048740719232562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11422398243913252,0.08895889748097628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08352050102717988,0.0,0.07692046117639605,0.07758723810154969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3012069576169416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07090494800330206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09988815053954618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11910016463976235,0.0,0.10758458004573858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08338238711766106,0.19051575078337227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0805549118916382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11152944799762804,0.1671269788281821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07867423341744781,0.0,0.0914576193553478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06951637799265,0.0670473619610877,0.0,0.0,0.06101485582398571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061717795376483864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10626426559124133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06738299574742221
bipolarreddit,hannb15,2020/02/27,"What medications work for you? Hi guys, 
I live in a very small town which limits us to the type of health care we can receive in the area. 
My doctor doesn’t have a lot of experience in the mental health field (none of them in this area do) although she is amazing and is extremely understanding and helpful I wanted to get some more information from people who experience it first hand so I know what to bring up. I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar type II for 5 years now and have tried many medications. I’ve been on Quetiapine (Seroquel) for roughly 4 years - it works pretty well for me I still have slight manic and depressive episodes but hardly noticeable. My doctor wants me to switch my medications because of some long term affects of the medication she isn’t comfortable with so I’ve been looking at my options. 

I have never taken more than one medication at a time for my symptoms but am very aware that most of the bipolar population has their own “cocktails” that help manage all their different symptoms. If you all would be willing to tell me what you’re on and which medications are for what I would greatly appreciate it so I’m able to get a better grasp on which medications are more targeted towards different symptom management. 

For a bit of background if anyone is wondering I struggle with what I’d consider moderate anxiety almost daily, irritability, and “depressive” states (flat lined personality / no drive, sleeping way too much) these are my biggest problem areas! 

Thank you in advance!! 
Xox",7.042855996791013,8.215827342960294,7.323580024067392,69.96545828319297,64.37906137184115,10.487685519454471,35.605495387083835,10.504223727775694,3.9957478539911744,1222,56,205,30,18,397,167,277,0.067,0.8220000000000001,0.11199999999999999,0.9188,2,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,2,3,3,6,7,11,0,1,10,0,23,19,2,1,3,35,36,14,0,7,4,0,3,0,0,3,17,0,0,2,16,10,1,1,5,1,0,4,5,4,1,2,4,4,26,7,37,28,14,33,0,2,1,0,19,18,0,9,9,146,42,8,0.08942592714067754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08954714848297637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.068410589493092,0.0,0.0,0.06252868751313334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05451321516351005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07908996543504272,0.09762995132555186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09117569264554057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540448400183418,0.09076543364680954,0.0,0.18686212104729266,0.0,0.18306245145893688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17495143246729444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07606564794260426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09344271202394897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09859240037385296,0.0,0.08854572739350765,0.0,0.0,0.08010806567587547,0.0,0.0,0.19011115761132452,0.0,0.0,0.11988062788950778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049146150866480366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07896473202415265,0.07913913144968368,0.07509525630290052,0.0,0.0,0.07602672535358697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09066385416637332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6306104945667882,0.090120301355268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0657383459274515,0.0,0.06897078794442765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10181201076071568,0.0,0.0,0.06059732259170812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06199667810504201,0.07808327026043294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09097831710320196,0.0,0.08556853503836598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08949050947577618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07141566093072436,0.0,0.0,0.0934873954978642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2788433366253621,0.0,0.0,0.07816220192824291,0.08233137895891274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05214497725998528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06071433445649443,0.0,0.0,0.09309554392815256,0.10756837962624022,0.0,0.0,0.14757151066356738,0.1054914575469022,0.07098213852998554,0.0,0.0,0.08040464812157404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09697860332940897,0.13020628003213028,0.0,0.0,0.1270512257710866,0.0,0.0,0.11517473026881238
bipolarreddit,Mangosme,2020/02/27,I can't keep going. I feel I don't deserve to live anymore. I've been extensively researching methods of taking my life for a couple of days now. It's time. Sorry to everyone in my life for being a shitty person. Here's to hoping my plan is successful.,1.0187179487179492,3.4000906153846167,4.128461538461536,80.89987179487181,85.15384615384616,6.5435897435897425,22.128205128205128,7.793537801064563,1.481758974358974,200,7,37,4,6,72,39,52,0.099,0.768,0.133,0.4019,0,0,1,0,0,1,6.0,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,2,0,5,2,0,0,0,3,10,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,1,6,2,8,8,0,5,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,3,24,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2913308554758597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3250397088284365,0.0,0.18945081404628453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2807001446528328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14853381680298156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16695050385862042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2917698338946272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2611072699673333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4149825674812694,0.0,0.0,0.2593953472005297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564997876971538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32884012406655644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2208708634243777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17129374259106467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,thos276,2020/02/27,How many of you lie to your doctors about drugs and alcohol? I did for 2 years but when I told her I was smoking cannabis she got extremely upset. I don't blame her... prescribing me antipsychotics. There were other issues  and she dropped me as a client. I no longer have anyone to prescribe meds.,2.6557894736842123,5.2230811578947405,3.0202631578947354,90.32934210526315,79.52631578947368,6.60701754385965,25.28947368421053,7.793537801064563,1.4802421052631578,234,9,46,4,6,72,48,57,0.11900000000000001,0.828,0.053,-0.5704,0,0,2,0,0,0,8.0,0,2,0,0,4,1,0,1,1,0,5,3,0,1,0,4,7,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,5,0,13,0,6,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,0,2,33,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3496497891555127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22876785321499385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3348767237097285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3794182763566035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2616711475971287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34148493003739144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3317033526008702,0.0,0.0,0.3634168521715342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3126290308793921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21068949978102505
bipolarreddit,Eggsandbake,2020/02/27,"Experiences with SSA Hearing? I have been on long term disability insurance from my previous employer since March 2018. Because of that, the insurance company requires me to apply for SSA. They have hired me a lawyer, but I haven't spoken to them yet. Today I got a letter from a judge saying I have a hearing scheduled in May. Does anyone have experience with this type of hearing? What will happen? I've never been in any kind of court so I'm really nervous.",3.3260919540229885,6.009536781609199,4.862758620689657,77.4164367816092,77.73563218390804,8.004597701149425,26.90804597701149,8.841846274778883,2.611266666666668,368,15,63,9,9,123,63,87,0.051,0.9490000000000001,0.0,-0.6156,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,2,1,2,2,0,1,5,0,9,0,0,0,1,6,15,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,4,9,1,13,10,1,10,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,1,7,43,12,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13922251428067228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14315104442832202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12480069542741087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17915943648842092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40052784214707815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16374021764361898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18104088445959796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.69223226217592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21319340260635805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.181178428218136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15789936942488028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13115442671689892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16280845352762327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16935366928524295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19405883840536367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,socialexperiment46,2020/02/27,Type 2 Ladies Going into a depressive episode + PMS. Do you not just want to burrow in a dark corner in a ball and never leave? I feel so sad.,-0.994032258064518,1.0557972580645192,1.8970161290322598,95.26552419354843,92.54838709677419,4.390322580645162,14.201612903225806,5.985473137389443,-0.7553290322580644,109,2,25,1,4,38,28,31,0.24600000000000002,0.715,0.039,-0.7242,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,7,4,2,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,4,4,0,6,0,2,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,15,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4681798471861399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2748475568394395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3089258667574626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5755668196018772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4192380991961174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32061427353146793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,okay281,2020/02/27,"I have no one I was diagnosed with BD 2 about two months ago when I had to go to inpatient after a suicide attempt. I’m 16 years old (f). My cocktail of meds are still under experimentation. I’ve lied to my family and friends to make them think I’m doing okay now. I came down from a hypomanic
episode about a week ago and immediately went into a depression. My boyfriend was the only one I told. He tried to get me to talk to him about what was going on and I couldn’t bring myself to. He knows about everything. He visited me in the hospital and has been there for me since day 1. But all of the sudden I’m just tired of telling him things. Tired of weighing him down. Tired of making him worry. So I refused to talk to him about it and said everything was fine which made him upset because he knows it’s not. We fought. We’ve made up now but I don’t feel like I can go to him at all anymore. I can’t tell him how close I’ve been to cutting after being 4 weeks clean. I have no one. Even my therapist I don’t want to talk to so I just haven’t been. We do arts and crafts now to pass the time and my appointments are more spread out than before. I feel hopeless. Alone. I’ve never known anyone else with BD. I’m still struggling to grasp that I have it. I have such overwhelming guilt from the aftermath of my suicide attempt. That’s the only thing that’s keeping me from trying again I think. If I fail and live through it again, I can’t cope with the guilt. I’m just tired. I want to give up. I’m tired of therapy. I want to stop taking the meds. I know most people on here are in a similar place. Please help. I’m tired of causing people pain. I have no one to talk to anymore.",0.4037297996121545,2.5099556302521044,2.2920448179271737,94.93376212023271,85.13445378151259,5.566300366300367,19.23787976729153,6.900799576094004,0.10031299288946327,1308,36,304,17,39,433,173,357,0.19699999999999998,0.737,0.065,-0.9937,0,1,0,0,0,3,37.0,2,0,1,3,23,15,2,5,13,1,27,9,0,7,3,51,61,15,2,5,7,0,2,1,1,0,8,1,1,0,11,17,2,3,9,2,0,8,11,11,0,5,15,3,45,4,56,44,4,45,0,4,0,0,29,14,0,2,24,195,56,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14485342087945646,0.0,0.0,0.08462192335841459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620591633700062,0.05713016015901829,0.0837166102756715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04980671811510876,0.0,0.06952508856032026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09344895706109252,0.0,0.08393372447640812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052693080473673916,0.0,0.0703725500400897,0.0829290357334918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06825419199344179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0539654994526575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14686269111300593,0.0,0.07702437019174023,0.0,0.08262518586960849,0.058370195449234524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06312521780169855,0.0,0.04268758321930207,0.07837905174113992,0.13930480656779035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05476525850516814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07262331628350067,0.0,0.0,0.13470908707039014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03991702285588032,0.0,0.0721471690335139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15462282983985734,0.1090776814585224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18151206716560853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06521629352267598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06301607019547993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08573583996276936,0.0,0.2214621724880982,0.1242809392066991,0.08694006997664015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1132881654912148,0.0,0.08536452089165833,0.08968774977894615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07772033452299322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06758736751395393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130499721299203,0.06830918727754309,0.0,0.08541599208396418,0.0,0.17874440676923514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0614321254796362,0.26268610837960044,0.14282785365050696,0.0,0.09343699165674844,0.09486600901995744,0.10856257939177337,0.10470675783308424,0.0,0.0,0.047642946315251115,0.5634484963819735,0.0,0.07807279892473866,0.0,0.11094490511156788,0.0,0.0798140866253807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14457549258003288,0.0,0.1310779307339241,0.0,0.0,0.07574151852398325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08297557426666685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05261545578696937
bipolarreddit,schwistermom,2020/02/27,"Just need to vent... anyone who reads I greatly appreciate you taking your time to care enough to listen... thank you. Fyi, it's long. Hi all. My name is Rachel, I am 35 years old, and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in my mid teens. I also have major anxiety disorder, attention deficit disorder, and am a recovering addict/alcoholic. I've recently decided to reach out and find others who can relate and help without judgment or ignorance. It's everywhere, even in my own home. It makes it a lonely place to be. 

I've been in a deep depression for a while now, following an almost 4 month manic episode, which created many, many, problems in my life, which were obviously not welcome. I've been suffering since. But so has my family. My husband of 13 years, and mostly my 11 and 13 year old sons. (Friends and family included). 

My husband actually took the time to research and try to understand this disorder after my manic episode. It scared him that bad, seeing another side of me, that was the polar opposite of myself. I thought since he ""got it"" things would be easier, but not so much. He doesn't quite understand why it doesn't just ""go away"" and why it's so ""hard"" to live with. I'm at a loss how to even approach my kids with it as well. 

My kids have seen a mother who was fun, funny, energetic, charismatic, full of life, enjoyed everything, up for anything, to a mother who lays in bed, cries everyday, for no seemingly reason, has constant anxiety, feels nothing but emptiness, lashes out in anger, takes several medications, and sleeps half the day away just to be able to function. My house used to be immaculate, it is no longer. It used to be a house full of love and laughter, but now is gloomy and quiet. It breaks my heart more than I could even begin to tell you. What do my kids and husband think/ feel/ say?

I'm LAZY. I DON'T care. I just don't WANT to do x,y, z, etc. My husband says I am always playing a ""VICTIM"". I don't NEED meds, just need to ""FIND MYSELF"". Yadda yadda... I told my boys I was thinking of taking a few days to a week to get better in the hospital, and they were so worried about who would take care of them. Who would take my son to therapy Thursdays? How would he remember to take his medicine every night? Who would take them to school? Who will take him to his orthodontist appointment? My husband's response, ""taking care of these responsibilities will help you get better"". ""These are your duties, and yours alone"". 

Um, ok? It's a genuine victory for me when I can get out of bed everyday. I take them to school 3 days a week. Make sure he gets his meds and makes his therapy appointments. I see my psychiatrist once a month. See my therapist every week. Remember to take my meds daily. But it's exhausting me, mentally and physically. I'm spent. My husband's solution? He feels he needs to leave me to make me ""realize"" what I'm doing and then maybe I can ""find myself"". And, maybe he should take the kids with so they can be ""taken care of"". That thought alone makes me want to end it all. Right here, and right now. 

So lately, I've been pretending to be ""better"" in fear that I will be left alone, helpless and afraid. Afraid of the world, and afraid of myself. To be clear, I'm not going to take my life. But I won't lie, the ideation is there. I'm afraid I can't run to my parents. My mom has fallen down a rabbit hole since my only brother was killed 9 years ago, my dad included. He's also an addict and alcoholic who suffers from depression and anxiety disorders. Mom has bipolar, she kindly shared it with me. My brother died an alcoholic, leaving a young daughter. I've pushed all my friends away by ignoring them, due to not knowing how to be a friend anymore. 

What's left? I honestly don't know anymore. I'm just tired. Lonely. Lost. Hurt. Done. Looking for anything to give me a reason. A reason to fight. A reason to WANT to live. The doctor, therapy, meds, just aren't enough. I guess I don't know what I'm asking or looking for. Just for someone, anyone to say, I understand. Tell me I'm not a lost cause. I'm not playing ""victim"". 💔💔💔💔😭😭😭😭",2.0168946908257723,4.312631377008653,3.645816424975127,86.49606582953966,80.10012360939432,7.209629473303387,24.08093400464289,8.25429008570747,1.6019007687901352,3180,115,642,66,82,1055,341,809,0.141,0.7290000000000001,0.13,-0.7986,1,7,3,0,1,0,168.0,0,7,6,7,31,52,5,6,32,1,62,16,2,15,6,120,145,47,2,15,23,17,4,0,3,10,13,5,3,5,40,32,2,3,26,4,1,8,19,27,2,1,21,15,84,25,87,103,14,73,0,11,6,1,79,28,0,6,36,390,124,6,0.04390580635946207,0.0,0.04284573351812528,0.09572761934447764,0.0,0.0,0.03891984821289728,0.14076586316974302,0.04396532288841271,0.13641952227004728,0.0,0.07022291496586178,0.036533148111887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0460390661856747,0.1007634650685353,0.0,0.08708552413295871,0.06139992133476349,0.0,0.07226147523337377,0.0,0.04104600209790535,0.0,0.12375285109643812,0.0,0.036659514363394013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11649335327230775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22382447876036665,0.045103357542151584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04744657885111117,0.0,0.035055213730051264,0.0,0.04822846662803207,0.08494683859535508,0.0,0.07563201336319278,0.044563469244890734,0.04556729516826534,0.0,0.25159928954309296,0.044939453257222386,0.0,0.044930883676103865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038887512500728784,0.09073286946233663,0.04896658006656317,0.08699811304470878,0.0,0.07398507099949504,0.0,0.03945970769314743,0.0,0.08278097343800303,0.04940623869515806,0.06660028475165249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12038733477540026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10176455124077598,0.0,0.09175588670995792,0.04211845020042077,0.049905363127573814,0.0,0.035115484217403924,0.04840630651241964,0.04836719568932491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03933097851882568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05202859193417801,0.05885827301614016,0.0,0.04404110363917461,0.0,0.0,0.10132281126483413,0.04700207378929035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04857526955033819,0.04572114091586439,0.07238844881738113,0.0,0.04952766197578785,0.0929798188733918,0.09540757415242226,0.0,0.09303590844192727,0.0,0.0,0.07753926281413315,0.03885525699297212,0.07373963876410403,0.0,0.0958567483366777,0.0,0.039626704436543515,0.0,0.14653733339557368,0.08902719271938286,0.08821856765910945,0.0,0.19507781203934546,0.0442304807820577,0.04424672605447237,0.0,0.0,0.10284389952174353,0.07009039150059261,0.0,0.03227581954103237,0.13022239634835522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0412026250074641,0.0,0.04212880534804963,0.0,0.09214351604531487,0.04675825084232131,0.0,0.033392344207778674,0.0,0.0,0.04875220206031109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04587222277111206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042011927077336385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046699229535818086,0.04391768789420983,0.0,0.0,0.1805699257570001,0.04335168694402261,0.0,0.09947343935967687,0.07499063746746075,0.0,0.10474697840122224,0.043957371595669266,0.08887004010981206,0.10496172949373717,0.03997019712289069,0.0,0.049601063895276194,0.0,0.10895801019189276,0.0,0.04393751460772683,0.0,0.037201247248645264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041380702889917985,0.0,0.4291521290848363,0.0,0.07675121996984208,0.04042256756467243,0.1506303480030334,0.050978025223064966,0.029169066811646605,0.05626613575276889,0.0,0.06971261184650263,0.05120365753868816,0.050463265605168034,0.0,0.04195387951846182,0.04878096636948773,0.029809160465252775,0.0,0.0,0.13712247852487713,0.0,0.07584103945299064,0.0,0.0,0.07769034645308476,0.0,0.10565576851244053,0.0,0.039476592792524766,0.0,0.07923632225618854,0.0,0.0,0.04232363054816776,0.0,0.0,0.04458847759659175,0.0,0.15594712559318288,0.0,0.0,0.11309559914834867
bipolarreddit,YallAll,2020/02/27,"Diagnosed with BP2 - experiences with support groups? Hello!

First, I just want to say that this subreddit has made me feel so much less alone and has helped me cope with ups and downs of the past month. So thank you so so much. 

I just got diagnosed with BP2 and I was wondering if anyone has experience with support groups? There are several I’ve seen in my state and was wondering if anyone could shed light onto their experiences with them? I figured I’d give it a shot... I’ve only told a few close friends and of course have gotten some shitty reactions.

I still am in the process of figuring out meds and stuff but I’m trying to stay hopeful.",3.4737012987012967,5.5555728492063485,4.142352092352096,85.76577922077924,74.47619047619048,8.073881673881674,24.946608946608947,8.841846274778883,1.806311111111112,513,17,103,11,11,163,84,126,0.03,0.857,0.113,0.8516,0,1,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,2,1,8,5,0,0,4,0,9,2,0,1,0,29,24,13,0,5,5,0,1,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,4,14,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,7,4,11,5,17,16,5,13,0,0,1,0,11,7,0,6,4,68,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15472795907823847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2089206374045101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11927959250799673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3032651572577041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4384103469893984,0.0,0.0,0.07553850037133064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270751417053021,0.0,0.0,0.1154220529289692,0.0,0.0,0.14331310645148926,0.0,0.0,0.11948467011006315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10013618623399206,0.0,0.0,0.14838274663894566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14136097324738892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16594394564664575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192455051236742,0.0,0.2196447371487956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11362147841010413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14261424225749744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188047422974444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16877360197977612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15923498062246688,0.11930688133488734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.171021305146438,0.0,0.33906290031459857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375426612534889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1427531348582766,0.0,0.10142926358063424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08811692451884807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3240245786052001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,theapollojane,2020/02/27,"Can a person be a trigger? Hi, first post here. I hope it’s in the right place, please remove if not. So long story short, I have a bully who’s countless times tried to ruin my life. She’s texted ALL my friends, my parents, my siblings, straight lies saying I slept with her boyfriend, AND became pregnant with his child. Seems a bit middle school would you believe she’s 26? For some reason people believe her. My friends since birth, dropped like flies, my parents believed her at one point (they don’t now), even my siblings. A little back story- she was my first friend ever; we met at age 5, and I’m 24 now. We were best friends/ extremely close until I was around 21. Our parents were close, we were intertwined in each other’s lives, even went to the same college a couple states away from our home state. After these rumors started, she stalked me, keyed my car, tried to convince me to kill myself, hazed me, and so much more. I went to my “dark place” as I call it, and was in a depressive state for the longest I’ve ever been, I NEVER post my personal life or what’s going on, on anything, ever, but it got to the point where I felt like this was a last resort. People were messaging me threatening me, etc. so I posted screenshots of what she was telling my friends and family, and basically called her out for being a bully... that made everything worse, her mother called a psychiatric ward, on my behalf to surrender myself? My “friends” commented on my post telling me kill myself and that I need serious help.... now I got a TON of support as well from people I would never expect and it was amazing and greatly appreciated, but I got more hate than ever. I got married in a super super secret wedding, I didn’t post the date or address or time on ANYTHING and somehow she “had someone on the inside” who mailed her an invitation to my fricken wedding. She then posted it all over her social media and people SHOWED UP. She’s even dating a close cousin of my husband.  ALL of those things I said she did, she told all my friends that I did them to her! When I have photo evidence of everything she’s done to me. 

Fast forward, 

I NEVER go back home, we are from an extremely small, one red light hometown. I moved a state away and have started a career in education. 

...she did as well. 

And NOW, apparently the place she works at believes this story she has made up about me. They claim they saw the post and how “well she handled it” And they’ve hired her as a motivational speaker about bullying and women empowerment!? She’s going from charter school to charter school to speak and I am absolutely terrified she’s going to come to mine! 

She’s slandering me. 
I’m so scared to even post this and will probably delete later because she’s well aware of anything I post, I want To delete all my social media, and change my name, she gives me so much anxiety, but since I moved, social media is how some of my family and friends stay in touch with me. I’ve already blocked her and her entire family on everything, she still sees my posts somehow, and I got a new phone, and the only people with my number are family and 3 friends. 

Anytime her name is mentioned ( a lot ) it’s a small town and all the old people still think we are best friends, I have an anxiety attack. I’m not being dramatic, I really do. 

TL:DR 
My stalker bully is using my story to be a motivational speaker for women empowerment against bullying to speak “her” truth & I’m terrified that she will purposely pick my school and come speak at it. 

I’m shaking, can a person be a trigger?",4.260598377281949,5.584358798850573,5.09269776876268,82.85737322515216,70.92528735632185,7.7576741041244075,27.87119675456389,8.188393138257906,1.8313572008113583,2788,99,539,40,51,906,295,696,0.106,0.768,0.126,0.8628,7,0,1,0,0,2,100.0,7,1,4,9,35,35,4,2,35,0,42,3,1,11,14,96,80,47,2,7,9,6,2,2,10,4,2,7,3,6,23,43,0,1,7,1,0,14,7,9,4,4,32,13,116,26,71,39,20,106,0,2,3,0,101,42,0,11,38,381,139,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052357320230404604,0.0,0.0,0.05140721003509648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07259139849249709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11713088138340495,0.04223657917760136,0.0,0.05397613784191565,0.08915327120215695,0.07296536517137182,0.0,0.028922353647027,0.0,0.0,0.2138194521644998,0.09958230948138193,0.0,0.05179822856366318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14534156721043914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05019107783474406,0.08174024294441164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05249757457898238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04086476395812079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0485532481341379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052914305656454746,0.1253492957557253,0.17166878643535793,0.0,0.0,0.1279229444542324,0.0,0.17890968595654244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04555514757129685,0.0,0.0,0.08071428418182466,0.0,0.0,0.3665629743133986,0.0,0.0,0.04551407397967493,0.1078575483457957,0.0,0.189732615860479,0.052308862391785685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04684263646768642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03180173747639159,0.0,0.0951834666110245,0.04712411498887131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049828947350326,0.0,0.0,0.03867443799311263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06702435946625973,0.04635897707237277,0.04755288369284917,0.04189527068610727,0.041987799476528406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04033649144902598,0.0,0.08978821202788394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10085417584573647,0.06975584483070603,0.03518025801641664,0.10977874892865153,0.045823186834538995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049786100700257116,0.0,0.06430063568268578,0.036084462210635306,0.0,0.0,0.1580479329618989,0.0,0.0,0.19735653203172385,0.12428281562267775,0.14871143626236746,0.05208094239250567,0.08970271989033067,0.0,0.4543970090703187,0.0,0.051154304122090884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030394820308397793,0.048781905081388834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04051822188655572,0.045131562281301364,0.037730588387548766,0.047501250716422735,0.192069630334796,0.03780794322108316,0.043192626988332615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0784948625120184,0.0,0.0,0.14509422328032176,0.040200442118691816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06716437819065928,0.050570620284867536,0.07578012029483762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053840623201847515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08293896587160746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031520700749100725,0.030401178735398632,0.0,0.0,0.055331738137470964,0.0,0.0,0.045336235475220886,0.0,0.06442479854939971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04097770292987154,0.0,0.0,0.027984601832420943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1706369114983746,0.08796496004618176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034540909638676884,0.0,0.04835104667045512,0.06740788397855034,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,HotShot345,2020/02/28,"Depression or Medication Side Effects I'm getting over a hypomanic episode that required Seroquel and an increased lithium dose (300 to 600) to resolve (told my doctor I didn't need an antipsychotic anymore, ended up back on one within 3 weeks). Past week and a half or so (around the same time my meds were adjusted), I've been experiencing low mood, decreased motivation, irritability, and passive suicidal ideation. I'm literally only getting out of bed to go to work, and even then, I'm failing at that (arriving late, working from home at the last minute, leaving early, or some combination). I haven't even had the desire to check or post on social media (other than Reddit) when I'm usually pretty active / interacting with friends.

I talked with my psychiatrist about all this today, and he suggested moving my lithium dose back down to 300 mg as that may improve the tiredness / lack of motivation I've been having. I refused because every time we lower my lithium, a hypomanic episode follows, and he agreed to keep it at 600. He suggested that it could be the Seroquel, but he didn't offer to take me off of it. It struck me that he didn't think it was the natural cycle of the bipolar that's causing this. Ultimately, we agreed (at my insistence) to up my Wellbutrin dosage to 300 (from 150) and see him again in a week.

I'm really new to actually being cognizant of my illness / actually wanting to treat it, and I was wondering how you guys differentiate between the side effects of drugs and the illness itself. I know if things change after a new medication is introduced, it's probably the medication, but I'm just not quite sure in this case because episode pattern has been (since September of last year): manic to mixed to normal to hypomanic. I feel like I'm ""due"" for a bout with depression if that makes sense.",10.085486725663717,8.12655294690266,10.140814159292033,62.61104424778762,59.35398230088495,13.0517994100295,43.54395280235989,11.729898335038438,5.168646253687316,1455,71,248,34,15,486,195,339,0.094,0.813,0.09300000000000001,-0.5526,2,0,1,0,0,0,52.0,2,1,0,10,11,10,0,0,18,0,18,10,0,7,2,53,40,22,1,8,10,0,1,1,1,1,10,0,2,1,20,16,0,3,10,0,1,4,5,4,0,2,11,3,21,5,49,25,5,47,0,4,1,0,19,19,0,9,24,160,41,7,0.0,0.0,0.22310941395163308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133695158046238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10176436461666406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17580197474006726,0.0,0.13937042248293693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11743273883061668,0.12092984907231608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09127102688010172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19691825523661094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11700599168507833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13256881874844326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10124893906185634,0.0,0.0,0.15100762995139086,0.0,0.09631510815939437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05780097293182885,0.08166648102943024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08831929313247952,0.0,0.11944947856833245,0.0,0.0649677074365304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11318957613192375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146670160117884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101608203226234,0.0,0.0,0.0628243976174097,0.186363559071698,0.12895201844470727,0.12104281567145825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0558484131280022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0763059840301038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12697791805995431,0.3454802556446808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12149848926829618,0.0,0.08476293946621312,0.0,0.22081179791191471,0.0,0.0,0.11200418476150377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07746263383667007,0.08694151943409989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10912636491189166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10948193204121033,0.1162991987670117,0.12325063624359105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215878090793047,0.0,0.0,0.07323295675332764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0910940562486846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09456234340876844,0.0,0.0,0.11652949275384372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12504178367221774,0.0,0.10774030005543732,0.0,0.08595046618344124,0.09188186677109554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0759456411116107,0.07324827667971137,0.0,0.0,0.1333157013265284,0.0,0.10835701757300943,0.10923264353032598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12590154807399784,0.0,0.06742580199385316,0.0,0.2750891939269504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12396947123082333,0.1664450005707674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07361495175424687
bipolarreddit,BoondockSaint296,2020/02/28,"[UPDATE] I got my first tattoo to remind myself to never stop taking my meds. I wanted something that illustrated the duality I felt in myself, the tame and the chaotic. The artist felt the man in the middle was important and went ever further than I had hoped. He did an amazing job!

[Bipolar Tattoo](https://i.imgur.com/U7yDOID.jpg)",5.547894736842107,8.833515982456143,5.504473684210527,72.51881578947369,73.3859649122807,6.60701754385965,27.043859649122812,7.793537801064563,2.2241017543859645,269,10,37,4,6,84,43,57,0.053,0.7759999999999999,0.171,0.7335,1,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,7,0,3,1,0,0,2,9,10,2,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,1,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,7,2,8,2,5,3,0,10,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,5,29,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25349453024873303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5381516802809582,0.0,0.0,0.23837332316365914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2241347717502557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27834309639019617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2780965009386723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31128519120140485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21613956323536151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2157436400787228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2342944880144193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2107067725518197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652937296991637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2597867287149721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,gothrabbit,2020/02/28,"im not alone but ppl cant help, im still depressed and anxious ive been trying to get an appt with my therapist for weeks and finally walked there twice in person to schedule an appt a week from now. but im v depressed and anxious rn. ik i can talk to all my friends but whats the point? they will try their hardest and hug me and tell me they love me but no matter what they say i will feel so depressed and now guilty that i cant make myself happy for them. and i feel like i have so many issues i cant burden them with it, bc once i start i will never stop. ive been drinking everyday nonstop bc alcohol is the only thing that makes me happy now. i havent cleaned my room, gone to class, done my homework, or been able to do any of my hobbies without getting frustrated and stopping. ive been meditating and working out and stopping caffeine and trying to avoid the people that trigger me but my efforts dont add up to shit, i still cant work on the things that matter without panicking or giving up as soon as i start. i keep fixating on random shit that will make me very sad and anxious and hopeless. i want to fix myself. i dont know how to fix myself.",3.7589846938775517,4.154410824489799,4.879017857142858,87.35566964285715,71.36734693877553,7.431122448979592,28.373724489795922,7.1686216300943375,1.3684336734693878,912,32,198,8,16,301,130,245,0.231,0.647,0.122,-0.9873,0,2,2,0,0,1,17.0,0,0,6,3,10,16,3,1,7,0,23,6,2,5,2,46,38,25,0,1,10,0,2,1,1,4,1,1,3,1,10,17,2,5,3,1,0,2,12,10,0,1,6,3,38,6,25,28,1,27,0,5,0,2,14,8,2,3,18,135,48,4,0.10169864447094673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10868492240670333,0.0,0.10532912496548072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06915856563536059,0.0,0.0,0.3446715626517109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2627786803870286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10407302230896856,0.2383801078159355,0.09962595450321377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10284378069374944,0.07265353193039434,0.0,0.11140589402745248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07857212044385828,0.0,0.10626668855862467,0.09755860665742586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21652019623586516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06816645767345487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32955596281089794,0.10614696269033128,0.0,0.0903944279762325,0.0,0.0,0.0558909153519102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049684820691550634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09178699721520618,0.0,0.20365390466182004,0.10310646326011244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07843626413855555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10830573727685984,0.0,0.07734640183658767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07050503502262738,0.08879933365244898,0.0,0.0,0.0961380909319395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808748439679976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2087843942012722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14396564799317307,0.0,0.1624333376879852,0.2550738616247009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08174151814956196,0.08888909781681126,0.0,0.0,0.11807996465310695,0.13512812091139942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20714011176427136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08391203243219153,0.05998449542998551,0.0,0.16315303645384766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1960677282908032,0.0,0.1480756487997181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,purplepippin,2020/02/28,"2nd referral just been made by my GP after Cyclothymia diagnosis 2 years ago. Don't feel it's the right diagnosis now. As the title says, 2 years ago I was referred by my GP to a psychiatrist for a possible bipolar II diagnosis. She decided due to no clear cut manic episode (just mini periods that could have been, along with definite depressive periods) it was cyclothymia instead. For the past two years I have been on be venlafaxine for depression bit have still felt VERY unstable in moods. 

We moved house a few weeks ago and all was fine, then about two days after we arrived I just...it was so strange. I unpacked the house in two days, a families, 3 bed, 1000 book, two childrens stuff, worth of boxes, I slept a few hours but couldn't manage any more, I felt wildly excited and happy and it was so sudden and so weird. Then it died down. A few days later it was like a curtain had fallen and I couldn't get out of bed, I was honestly suicidal, I never would do that, but the feeling was there. I was distraught and couldn't function. Then again, a week or so..fine again. This is all so scary and odd. 

I'm a recovering alcoholic, I've been sober just over a year, we move around a lot and I find it hard. I have two young children that I have the care of for the main part. My husband is understanding but is finding this all very difficult.
I want a second opinion because I feel like I'm not getting any help, talking therapy is all very well but I do feel it's reached a point where medication may help. I'm in the UK and the referral process is long-winded on the NHS, but at least I've talked to my GP.  

Has anyone else been told they have cyclothymia then had a change in how they are feeling and had the diagnosis changed to bipolar? When I saw the first psychiatrist I was having an alright period, so I don't know how well I explained everything in an hour. I just want it to be helped, I want to be helped, so that I can feel more normal and not either crazy energetic or massively depressed. I don't want my children to have to deal with me like this.",3.895389558232932,5.041364486746988,4.931746987951809,84.3430823293173,71.6024096385542,8.521285140562249,28.532128514056225,8.936278230431713,2.118632128514056,1622,61,339,31,30,532,200,415,0.14,0.7290000000000001,0.13,-0.8873,0,0,1,0,0,0,50.0,3,0,2,1,24,19,1,1,28,1,48,5,1,3,6,70,73,32,2,10,14,1,9,3,0,2,4,1,3,3,16,19,1,0,15,1,1,3,10,7,2,7,24,11,36,11,36,40,15,53,0,3,1,0,20,15,0,5,38,233,52,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2193118357413796,0.08813446460132318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11216373016413983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0576643627035909,0.08449941267124991,0.0,0.07341504773477375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05027244191983543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09003497671029938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08408281733659112,0.0,0.1744828983239045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06584492342132939,0.0,0.0,0.1595573806871496,0.08502209532544483,0.21309173150888286,0.0,0.08558998053688824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0688924111571752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0741179743273394,0.0,0.07774459597854007,0.0,0.2501933483036777,0.058915993095335815,0.15836667640380409,0.0,0.15075065866524354,0.07014823574099016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08617347736627995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08778996731125435,0.07387617969186581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22110939099122587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16243104492782798,0.1903167043836209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04532290028404772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12087081556933085,0.0,0.0,0.07298262224044302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07011234107600164,0.0,0.07803432475353986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08307901479107348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17530335737730787,0.0,0.0,0.06360530966117882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08080227888941907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08930607692670202,0.07872615644294967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07796002411791036,0.0929716004307925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0704282224519532,0.0,0.06558279580089571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06585998744593823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944074715884703,0.09020788909474396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325711934697328,0.0,0.0,0.09431068566638033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07880282817253728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4028019899831542,0.08585331668817657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2041371117976876,0.1945698178563993,0.0,0.1323035909445812,0.0,0.14829937990824488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05858373377228615,0.0,0.0,0.21242977214623576
bipolarreddit,Complex-Drink,2020/02/28,"Does anyone else not take meds when they don't have symptoms? I know it can be a recipe for disaster and takes a lot of discipline, but I was reading and some of the stories of people who take lots of pills and feel sluggish, disabled, and worthless are very saddening.",10.95346153846154,7.259072038461543,9.52692307692308,73.06807692307696,59.384615384615394,12.707692307692303,43.30769230769231,10.125756701596842,4.255084615384616,214,9,41,3,2,66,43,52,0.255,0.745,0.0,-0.9402,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,6,2,0,0,0,12,11,6,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,2,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,3,0,5,9,3,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,3,1,29,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17472294888439835,0.256033117660747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2186729771252072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20874392204786305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12634759019645986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373283327577506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4248806164374687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2775620052963552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17323636318569108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2499491129711409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2597225475731448,0.5636393503971685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20617840018670075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hilde19,2020/02/28,"Can I please just have my meds? Just a bit of a vent here:

I travel *a lot* for work, and have a restriction on my meds that I can only pick them up every 30 days. I understand the reasoning for this, but I’m not always in town when it’s time to refill my prescriptions. 

My psychiatrist won’t take the 30 day rule off of my chart despite the fact I can only fill after 21 days at the earliest because of my insurance. The pharmacy won’t give me an emergency 2 days worth of pills to tide me over in the case of a business trip (though they have the ability to do so where I live). 

This happened this week and I asked the pharmacist (being a bit snarky, I admit), “So I’m just supposed to go into withdrawal then because my 30 days are up tomorrow and I’ll already be on a plane?” “Yes.”

Withdrawal from Latuda sucks and I feel it quite early on if I miss a dose. The whole point of meds is for me to stay on them, so what gives? I don’t have it in me to keep fighting the system all the time. 

Rant over.",2.3465094339622645,3.377726622641511,4.16051886792453,88.83341981132078,75.22641509433961,7.941509433962264,23.62735849056604,8.472884824447931,1.2340320754716982,772,22,177,14,16,262,120,212,0.083,0.8540000000000001,0.063,-0.7343,0,0,0,0,2,0,23.0,0,0,3,2,10,3,2,0,20,1,15,2,0,2,2,21,29,12,0,1,6,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,8,5,0,2,4,1,1,4,4,3,0,0,0,1,25,0,31,25,5,36,0,1,0,0,8,17,1,2,13,120,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15198915279362651,0.0,0.11460290071573635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12875952788951106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16791860271933998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30073230795452244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44412424573267545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11604397902193113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06964073465242873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26424750212254233,0.07827547954772597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217947233764058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12242129432204908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12161865178774625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11709363915162015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4589629750053061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20950067025100336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15118684982532452,0.13019994472041366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14649345710925402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14161000586645373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14680250439711634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10355627777741958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353196248237654,0.0,0.16062365233943554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433824221239142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11047918739252444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15377130718870666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10026952429194516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,l0verg1rl,2020/02/28,"Can’t tell if I’m having hypo or just side effects from Zoloft. I am waking up too early in kind of fight or flight state and just feel super restless on Zoloft.  I’ve been happier than usual, but I’m also coming out of a severe depression. 

When I’m hypomanic, I am usually very talkative and social and enjoy the lack of sleep, spend too much money, feel euphoric, etc etc. I don’t feel that way right now. 

I am feeling more confident in a way similar to when I’m hypomanic, but aside from that my symptoms are very much just physical- heart racing, fidgety, and low appetite. I’m not being super productive and I’m definitely not enjoying the lack of sleep. 

I know there are horror stories of Zoloft and other SSRI’s triggering really bad episodes. What I’m looking for is anyone here who has taken Zoloft with success who started out a little edgy as a side effect and then leveled out. 

For clarity, I’m on 300 mg of Lamictal so I’m not without a mood stabilizer. 

Thank you! Trying not to lose a long period without any real mania or hypomania issues. Take depression over that any day.",4.841690140845074,6.0490627464788735,6.456920187793429,74.06143661971831,69.4225352112676,9.43586854460094,29.69295774647888,9.725611199111238,2.9767047887323943,867,33,153,20,15,298,133,213,0.18,0.654,0.165,-0.4368,0,0,0,0,1,0,23.0,0,1,0,6,12,15,1,1,8,0,12,9,4,3,0,38,32,19,0,3,15,0,4,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,7,12,0,0,7,0,2,1,8,7,0,0,2,5,7,7,26,29,7,30,0,4,1,0,6,15,0,4,11,97,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10939361493804077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18604837572459385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09564911047891422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11421675673914355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11783538260501812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08822041215484247,0.0,0.23563987199517505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3051215522590273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27666736832473143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621008115252077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14277674656209072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14244925282037785,0.07517806307471316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13710290163266267,0.0,0.12105783486413682,0.11487198519959115,0.15303679955399765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2011177449069346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15570081200802752,0.0876333407202258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1168207973574106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15453758041559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27378433701698873,0.13944362204095564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09682305699662166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421806969565578,0.10285159608516692,0.0,0.1195634417552654,0.1259409636619731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09287372428636442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3013171596153313,0.2257377259683427,0.0,0.2171604324449689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2637278697540234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Giraffe4793,2020/02/28,"26...Just figured out why I am the way I am. I just got diagnosed with bipolar 2 and adhd. I'm not taking any medication yet. Upset, embarressed, and scared about what comes next. I would really appreciate some real experiences about this. I feel like I can either be unmedicated and solitary the rest of my life and still have the inspiration to make the art that is more important to me than anything, or I can be just the same all the time and not be lonely. I want to be optomistic about this and fix some damage that I've caused but every article I've read does not seem to offer a middle of the road compromise...advice?",6.234006968641117,6.082574723577237,7.2839953542392575,74.13658536585365,65.99186991869921,10.605807200929151,29.766550522648085,10.290406445055957,2.822942857142858,493,15,96,11,7,167,83,123,0.061,0.861,0.079,0.2702,0,2,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,7,6,0,2,8,0,11,4,0,2,1,30,19,8,0,2,8,0,1,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,5,9,0,0,4,2,0,1,3,4,0,0,1,1,10,2,12,13,7,9,0,2,0,0,1,3,0,4,5,68,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2567447796519188,0.2087592306906896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14527744259788694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17580136519417788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21945945070020587,0.0,0.18402550375114748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21683251568665154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18695126204835166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17999461599273175,0.0,0.0,0.208973602067951,0.0,0.0,0.10801902345012364,0.15261911836348016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1708614457409547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15089497009159178,0.10437006059467008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14260136915089375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21521229339888615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272006136742441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2136903367399862,0.2431605832713592,0.1368584657249522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2138834257648088,0.0,0.0,0.19448302705116288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1706072102215775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16062507171234286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12457084316594658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260059981223394,0.1695715543668994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19277012516858089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15175841616212998,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,indecisivesloth,2020/02/28,"Struggling with recent move. Experiencing mild symptoms that are getting worse I relocated last fall to the other side of the US. Since I've been here I've been struggling with finding a job and adjusting to a new place, among other stressful life events. Mild depression has now given way to sleep disturbances. Currently itt's long past when I'm at least on the verge of falling asleep. I feel like a zombie but underneath I can feel that energy that in the past has led to manic episodes. I might call my doctor tomorrow but if nothing else my next appointment with him is in a few weeks. Anyway, thought you all would understand.",4.82677966101695,7.1047147288135655,4.912000000000003,80.86308474576272,71.20338983050848,8.448813559322032,28.749152542372883,9.120678840339163,2.5782989830508467,510,20,91,11,10,159,87,118,0.11599999999999999,0.845,0.038,-0.7140000000000001,2,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,1,1,0,0,4,6,0,4,8,0,9,5,2,1,1,17,16,5,0,2,3,0,2,1,0,2,3,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,6,0,0,4,0,5,0,0,4,3,9,1,15,10,3,27,0,1,0,0,4,9,0,2,14,57,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17329442597556782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14617227436035882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17370692115717404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14177218919346216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17162247681983614,0.121241936221051,0.0,0.0,0.1551132450029077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08866725907413937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16841248615807344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13833753124954815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11987225805060005,0.08291247103045883,0.0,0.0,0.15018934530395556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18003709217961336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803764763846295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1639084333120968,0.18049011557563693,0.0,0.0,0.16284277040828207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3240176779483065,0.0,0.0,0.1773124060632684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16756964137754776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403871143210811,0.0,0.16983407301645306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19440396061551354,0.3548386358756861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17639523963675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13473198149929574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1766756664770138,0.2041420497739989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13470909673643908,0.1361323359954432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.172950526932379,0.1205581870124303,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,commoditylad,2020/02/28,"for fun: anyone else wonder how'd they fare if they Looked in the world of Bird Box with their mental illness? Like. 

This is really dumb and not at all a serious concern, but am I the only one??? like lmao

ok so I'm poking fun at my own experiences here, it's perfectly okay to laugh with me. Let me know if this is inappropriate and should be taken down.

Ok so if someone who deals with suicidal ideation on the daily, and make ***elaborate*** plans to kill myself, Looked, would it be an ""oh nothing is new here g why are y'all trippin so hard lol nothing scary is here"" LIKE AM I SO DESENSITIZED AHDKSJAJDJ?? (I'm due to start my titration process soon btw!!) 

And as for the homicidal people trying to pry open other's eyes. Hm. k so I have homicidal 'fantasies' and used to make ***elaborate*** plans to kill people when I was a kid and have homicidal/intrusive thoughts all day every day like. I ain't tried to kill nobody but LMAO DOES THAT COUNT THO LIKE DHKKDHSKAKAJ WOULD THE ""aw y'all r trippin"" TURN INTO ""cmon just don't kill urself guys it isn't that serious lol quit screaming just Look at It"" DJAIKAND LIKE idk why this is so goofy for me to think about

like. Ok so my psychiatrist *just* found out I had intrusive thoughts this Saturday. Which is surprising because I talk about wanting to staple my own hand or throw myself into traffic everyday. He said ""so how often do these happen? Once every ten days?"" and I started *rolling* on the couch laughing, g!!! Like I wish it was once every ten days!! It's constant, man! Lol! And the look in his eyes when I started laughing went from hopeful to ""damn this bitch is crazy"" SO QUICK. Lmaoooo but yeeeaahh the brain is a marvel.

omg I feel so fucked up to say and laugh at any of this in a public space, but I was talking with my best friend (she has schizoaffective disorder), and she said she thinks about how she'd fare in Bird Box too! With all of her impulses. And she admits to being nervous about talking and laughing about such distressing images her mind constantly creates. 

We had a hilarious conversation (not a far cry from how I speak above) and I wanted to know what Bipolar Reddit thinks! I only intend to make light of. Y'know. Intrusive thoughts and compulsions. 

for a while it (the idea of myself trying to get others to Look in Bird Box) mortified me, but then I reminded myself that it's just a horror movie. And try not to connect it to real life. :) And then it becomes very goofy food for thought lol.

idk for y'all who have put thought into the matter, what do you think?",1.3128438228438206,3.9521864848484896,2.4696969696969724,90.91993006993007,88.19191919191921,5.551204351204351,21.554778554778558,7.0743007261013675,0.8020498834498837,1990,69,396,31,65,633,246,495,0.13,0.627,0.243,0.9969,0,0,0,0,0,1,88.0,1,4,3,5,33,37,8,2,19,10,33,9,4,8,4,82,74,45,5,10,16,0,3,8,1,3,3,5,1,3,27,27,1,0,16,1,0,3,6,13,1,3,15,16,45,24,59,51,6,44,0,0,7,1,34,21,4,7,28,250,72,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05090697094108302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05234344528649237,0.07670231970885684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045633606090047116,0.08267634522671255,0.0,0.0,0.07856034021072256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08356786742952729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1617928720516625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08222955499998423,0.1931125252982582,0.07717677237995776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08579537797461556,0.0,0.06550998072589047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0625354375733971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892168637203144,0.0,0.0,0.07322687471428106,0.0,0.0,0.03785117076351666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09052030479118484,0.0820794874016325,0.05783620026627107,0.06920632521326035,0.03911095593698269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07412259270916664,0.06619793567118601,0.0,0.06705933419490394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07435229258962084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08450717044166207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3312834164880501,0.0,0.12342233435082095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07654882627788084,0.05287542043860278,0.2925802407752033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3143152843836993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14990772742916084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07544068572046851,0.0,0.07558667165726468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07229969190328786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14365926012823074,0.0,0.0,0.15944567298794954,0.05072667867721983,0.11386792061168145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10379618883425153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07525439090071626,0.0,0.07962220514264633,0.0,0.08520640593099155,0.04795685973758105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14241689735959906,0.05953121343567048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06342814152259332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15895764302452706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08188405257354323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805074924945585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918675681813888,0.0,0.2971500780978929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20329852233420487,0.08142554982076584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06465450138664443,0.0,0.06176685935268556,0.08830804796820386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06939543001001264,0.13509796131844373,0.0,0.08608463570393994,0.0,0.08118184499342282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10635596474552343,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Double-your-dating,2020/02/28,"Killing Ghosts | How To Not Get Ghosted Online (Article)  

Modern dating apps can be a cesspool for emotionally unavailable millennials with commitment issues. Not commitment issues in terms of marriage or a home mortgage, no-no. Commitment issues like continuing a conversation when it requires more than 8 brain cells to develop an appropriate response. Or commitment issues like making plans for Friday with someone on Tinder but then your friends want to hang out so, whatever, it’s just some Bumble girl, just never talk to her again.

This leads to an exhausting string of matches-that-never-turned-into-dates, also known as “ghosts”. You might also be familiar with the ever-popular “orbiting” which occurs when someone stops talking to you before or after a first date but continues stalking your social media and watching all your stories.

It’s a strange time we live in, undoubtedly, with problems like these stopping great relationships from becoming real in their tracks. Not only having a negative impact on us and our potential love lives, but it’s making online dating sites a drain of time and energy, instead of using them for what they were intended…going on dates with great people you would have never had a chance to meet otherwise.

I’m as guilty as the next guy of the casual “ghosting” but I’ve committed to stop wasting people’s time and actually meet up with as many of my matches as possible. You, too can help out and put an end to ghosting. If you’re worried someone might ghost you, consider using the[ following](https://kismetacademy.tv/) opener:

“So, hey, I know this might be a bit forward, but do you wanna add each other on Snapchat and then never talk again?” ❤️

Or…

“So what do you think the chances are this conversation leads to a brief text exchange then we make plans to meet, follow each other on Snapchat and then never talk again?”

The other person will surely reply with something along the lines of “I’m not like that,” or “Not me!”

Essentially calling out the elephant in the room will cause the person on the other end to snap out of the regular routine and take you seriously. This will increase the chance you don’t get “ghosted” by 90%, provided you don’t screw up in a major way by making one of these crucial online dating attraction killers I talk about here.

Also, millennials, I know having hundreds of people want to match with you on a dating app is a real ego trip, but don’t match with someone if you don’t intend on meeting them. If we all do our part and make a real effort to meet up with our matches, we will all benefit from experiencing many more romantic relationships, and if nothing else, making cool friends. Even if that guy or gal you meet doesn’t end up being “the one”, maybe their best friend will be 😎.

Give it a try and let me know how it goes.

[Happy swiping!](https://kismetacademy.tv/)",8.250459549071618,8.409173148076928,7.923103448275862,70.19500000000002,61.75,10.557029177718832,34.46949602122016,10.165852483727232,3.5283766578249334,2287,86,378,44,29,728,257,520,0.083,0.755,0.162,0.9936,1,0,1,0,0,0,74.0,8,16,5,8,20,22,2,0,32,1,32,4,1,14,14,106,54,46,8,10,23,0,0,4,3,9,1,0,2,5,21,34,0,4,5,1,1,9,15,5,0,3,2,3,36,17,72,37,14,69,0,0,1,2,61,25,1,14,40,266,57,3,0.0,0.0,0.06864100387519279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16875092275850334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07768422337531466,0.0598535580210157,0.0,0.07381674892177809,0.0,0.07679229076709977,0.0,0.0,0.07852191412903144,0.07182428305150973,0.0,0.0,0.07225783025806616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058759453964774576,0.07912223775928492,0.18689920865492465,0.0,0.0,0.04645843996042295,0.06362591795671473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05983056710453905,0.0,0.0,0.16303189098443974,0.0,0.07349875539609563,0.06747585969560252,0.0399754414565404,0.0,0.0,0.15509863877098345,0.0,0.13929391855400794,0.0,0.0748774858674322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0471469457335691,0.0,0.07055604647976217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2936637906999863,0.0,0.0,0.07782000660655716,0.0,0.11596990850188302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07192669322019943,0.0,0.1374569032850801,0.0,0.12422176964371374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06348395859856706,0.0,0.2817121475643093,0.14262600680797208,0.07066527454817913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22385662428004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27124999707329983,0.0,0.07480663660198708,0.0,0.0,0.06749244915901363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09532745131979388,0.053496202304443526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07617060032892498,0.0,0.14629322867614666,0.12283511591418499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792969847300169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0673052043349856,0.0,0.07071041779451608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401845456472441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15103615491189226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07170205167070932,0.2383930204370084,0.05415062459084525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1764203968127683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06629395167720645,0.0,0.05288639486679116,0.2826802984862823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0450705790882784,0.0,0.0,0.12304622305218466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04775576308306339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08460950941232398,0.12150113104701865,0.0,0.0,0.08297587545008528,0.05583205714288412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07143296688343212,0.0,0.04996701595802303,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jpnubz,2020/02/29,"Recently Diagnosed So about 2 weeks ago, me and the soon to be wife got into a major melt down fight. She’s been encouraging me to go see someone to talk about just things in general. While I was there, they diagnosed me with BiPolar 2, which seemed wrong to me, and gave me a scrip for Lamictal. 

I started taking it and just felt off. Super irritable and short tempered with everyone and everything and tired all the time. I tried to get ahold of someone to ask them if that’s normal and they haven’t gotten back to me yet. So now I turn to you, the hive mind. Is this normal or am I just being sensitive lol",4.561402439024392,5.12497273170732,5.563973577235775,82.55620426829269,69.65040650406505,9.402032520325204,27.570121951219512,9.516144504307137,2.1920414634146352,478,15,100,10,8,158,87,123,0.092,0.828,0.08,-0.1531,0,0,0,0,1,0,12.0,0,1,3,1,12,5,2,0,5,1,7,4,0,0,1,22,19,12,0,3,5,1,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,5,10,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,6,2,16,2,18,11,2,16,0,0,1,0,11,5,0,3,10,72,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683729706139278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1775710241017757,0.0,0.0,0.14605440922466706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3855762055689734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18149863495514354,0.17070848189101662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.182375025466982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09923735527025428,0.0,0.10794895953078104,0.0,0.15191473409373446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19178823961843364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3722075377189392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18754575485397926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15135994449381954,0.1729169340227595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32187610165046565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13444260238455846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14281346474711884,0.15266895368557445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261896604079141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11075726553360796,0.2183114869910044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12895879941737914,0.206603393398482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15236078268364525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20767280540852304,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,alwaysn00b,2020/02/29,"Trying to escape religion and people are making me hate myself New diagnosis guy here. I’ve recently converted from Bible thumper to Bible dumper. My in-laws are sending me emails and aggressive texts. I don’t know how to hang out with my old friends because religion is all they talk about.

Religion already makes me an obsessive nutcase to begin with. How do I get everyone to BACK THE FUCK OFF THE MOTHA FUCKING SUBJECT without looking demon-possessed? People should genuinely not be poking me about religion right now, but I don’t know the right way to convey that.",5.947980769230767,7.986821682692309,6.0453846153846165,74.8746153846154,67.75,9.430769230769233,34.153846153846146,9.827888789773867,3.762157692307692,461,22,74,11,8,146,75,104,0.092,0.875,0.033,-0.6016,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,0,7,6,4,1,4,0,8,2,0,4,1,16,18,5,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,5,0,0,2,0,0,2,4,5,0,0,0,1,11,1,14,16,1,13,0,0,1,2,6,4,2,0,6,48,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274087700124199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15845887331618025,0.0,0.12562134272325054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19691339245484046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592129519881275,0.3810258378913372,0.1076656267378623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20404654420429394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2034562941032549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265067449428049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17305100975279902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2751131840144668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19902841685240508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21624093582591775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28573276863514424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2034740968598912,0.0,0.0,0.3519736671687463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16563519389656672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13991132598024972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635726589370814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19864884410934186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,RegularAd1,2020/02/29,"Bipolar Sleep Hygiene Hi All,

Is there anything you do to get good and regular sleep? Going to bed and getting up at the same time every day, exercise, reading before bed, electronics off before bed, blue light glasses, anything I'm missing?

Thanks,

  
Sam",4.1080000000000005,7.175054911111115,4.440000000000005,79.26000000000003,77.66666666666667,6.266666666666668,33.44444444444444,7.554174236665415,2.9102444444444435,201,11,30,3,5,63,38,45,0.045,0.831,0.125,0.6072,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,2,4,2,0,1,4,8,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,2,5,8,2,6,0,1,1,0,2,3,0,0,2,14,1,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42434124969211423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4387855847301903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.166277847361648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2172313628049616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694091665535857,0.0,0.14652969710001806,0.21625404592057046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25789795329296306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5160287635090354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373735490558456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15034168593017488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Phoenix288,2020/02/29,"Trouble connecting with people? Does anyone else have trouble connecting with people / keeping friends? I feel like every time I’m open about my disorder I end up over sharing and people start leaving. 

Now I’ve become more private about my disorder but it’s harder to make deeper friendships since I end up hiding a lot from them. My therapist hasn’t been much help and I’m just feeling a bit lonely today.",3.7093421052631577,6.5383109868421085,4.417631578947368,80.31092105263156,77.28947368421052,6.43157894736842,27.921052631578952,7.645422480735847,2.1382684210526324,329,14,52,5,8,105,57,76,0.16399999999999998,0.657,0.18,0.3204,0,2,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,0,4,6,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,1,0,12,10,3,0,0,2,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,2,7,3,9,9,4,10,0,1,0,0,4,4,0,1,7,30,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12972794655294986,0.19009895846969854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20490497780687691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2025523581455008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4252703713889179,0.0,0.16235987585032333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549877708428281,0.0,0.3286517007581535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15631830021424675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876206134655497,0.13254374877379396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14334118543214652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12435786121624308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16490893193893405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19645108187591445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09064132488315964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15773225627348053,0.0,0.0,0.12384372449669362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363870083657927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38587256810637816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15347358341197867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13132015865343505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21541638450824496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10818491626850994,0.0,0.17586217912216487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hsdmode,2020/02/29,"There's light at the end of the tunnel. You will come out on the other side. When I was 19yrs old I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. I'll never really understand the circumstances behind what happened that night. One minute I was normal and the next minute I was not. I had all the markings of a normal life. Money, cars, women, status, respect I mean by all accounts I was successful. 

To my knowledge I'm the only person in my family to have Bipolar Disorder. Unfortunately Bipolar Disorder usually goes untreated in my community but I guess as the doctors stated in the beginning of this journey my case was pretty severe and in many ways unique. 

So shortly after the ""switch"" I lost everything that has ever mattered to me. I lost my job. I lost my car. I was kicked out of school. I developed a drug and alcohol addiction in an attempt to self medicate. I eventually became homeless and I thought life was over and that my death was near. I had back to back hospitalizations and one even resulted in a full committal (yes you can even bounce back from being committed). But needless to say shit was rough. 

When I became homeless as I'd lost everyone's support by this point my first night in the Rescue Mission the guy who worked at the desk felt a sense of duty to share something with me. He spent the next few hours teaching me about a concept called mental incarceration. That even though we may be physically free there may be some chains, circumstances, trauma or conflicts within ourselves that effectively keep us in bondage. That no matter where I go, if my mind is not free I'll never be able to free myself from the Hell that has befallen me. It will follow you indefinitely until it is resolved. 

Not long after I reconciled with my estranged father and by the grace of God he became my champion and empowered me to believe that I can be more than what the doctors claimed over my life. I began to dig deep to the root of what caused me to break and understand why it broke me. There were multiple things that broke me so this took time, 10yrs to be exact. Over time I positively rebuilt my relationship with the opposite sex. I learned the meaning of compassion. I chose to live my life in grace, love, and humility. I found God or rather come to understand my relation into God's overall path. 

I've lived on two continents independently, have had more cars than I can count. I currently hold a position at a Nationally acclaimed company. Through the grace of God I've been able to finish college and attain my bachelor's degree and I'm working on a Masters. I've met the love of my life 4yrs ago and we've been happily married for the last two years and our anniversary is in April. Sometimes she forgets I even have the disorder until I take my medication at night.  I've moved across the country and have been in full remission for the last 5yrs. Actually for the past 5yrs I've been living with Bipolar Disorder as my biggest secret. Nobody really in my new life knows the full extent of what I've gone through or had to overcome. They just know I'm successful. So the diagnosis hit in 2010. There was 4yrs or turbulent instability while I figured things out. 1yr of transition when I effectively faced down my demons and one by one defeated them. And 5yrs of remission and building a new life post-freedom. 

I say all this to say no matter how dark it seems there will always be some light to focus on. Don't worry about the rest of your life, just focus on succeeding today. Eventually the more small victories you accumulate they'll begin to compound on one another and before you know it people will only know you as someone who remained triumphant. Believe that there is a higher power that is vested in your success. And if I never meet any of you I want y'all to know my heart is with you and better days will come. You will get in control of it.",4.6538560963090845,6.486498981055482,5.602141990574406,77.59180987821381,70.6914749661705,8.939582847277306,29.656128972049842,9.449726292080394,2.834749689701834,3093,125,559,71,58,1016,340,739,0.087,0.7609999999999999,0.152,0.9954,4,0,3,0,0,0,65.0,3,12,3,21,28,27,2,0,42,1,52,26,3,8,10,105,95,44,1,6,14,1,2,0,0,9,20,3,0,4,30,35,1,5,22,0,6,12,9,10,0,8,32,7,84,20,103,46,14,105,2,7,0,3,39,47,2,13,43,395,114,15,0.12155533711986655,0.0,0.05931023723040325,0.06625662985114804,0.0,0.0,0.05387573606370191,0.06495284402127675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050571889039380015,0.0,0.0,0.04133089877581541,0.0637306847876339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14020282662300132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05171731945769385,0.1369512393998428,0.0,0.05375290879641404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062060794950410524,0.0,0.0,0.06243540759037418,0.0,0.1570637395254728,0.0,0.0,0.06816732332002008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039196568210087455,0.0,0.0,0.061688054228459764,0.0,0.0,0.34828236849974903,0.12441703828284005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07048279989681669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053830974576331965,0.0,0.0,0.16057230750396814,0.054976880799652,0.0,0.05807566687878243,0.05462304953497606,0.0,0.057295776844322965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05835609302873025,0.0,0.0,0.05169745382879288,0.0,0.06663957651878151,0.0,0.0,0.03175382331680365,0.0,0.034541349664531686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06695345405370752,0.06017944732577295,0.05374549158621618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07202182987658565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05985376080251253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060312457897628,0.05402198438125432,0.0,0.0,0.1670090858359532,0.0990838235274184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34343251770462996,0.0,0.0,0.1610033845107822,0.053786324113848316,0.0,0.0,0.2653840192316155,0.0,0.10970843758789756,0.0,0.0,0.061619016487484135,0.0,0.1324093972916972,0.0,0.12245421387820915,0.061249594848207085,0.0,0.06136811947980221,0.0,0.0,0.06459704316376744,0.0,0.0,0.1406264544535123,0.1173989020496162,0.1292754800422114,0.17110717425394895,0.11909842173567473,0.0,0.0,0.06377593924934416,0.0,0.20592260577318125,0.09244831137293093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05801916177700105,0.04213558275730914,0.05306871588257299,0.0,0.0,0.057454541867717715,0.0,0.0582082059810775,0.06183273889171359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07787146156128265,0.0,0.0,0.06525247062586835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14499852442755534,0.0,0.061510245347516625,0.0,0.055329706807371176,0.06340436342499509,0.06866146579716535,0.06238740337820577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05149672133984224,0.04678961858566669,0.06011066828673504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0689697780338544,0.0,0.0,0.04569724288289126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08075596472896794,0.0,0.05971375077505625,0.0482506799051296,0.0708798945967211,0.0,0.05761012324856338,0.0,0.06752622607053065,0.0,0.0,0.11874190168481676,0.18981508923148405,0.07310805192064766,0.0,0.06693801531442886,0.0,0.03584824361174255,0.04824248433526552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054842392513727835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08849373314034074,0.06172267264085084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03913882587845965
bipolarreddit,Hairs_are_out,2020/02/29,"Mania and working Welp. I figured out that I've been manic for a couple of months. I did something stupid with my elderly mother's credit card and bought about $4-500 worth of stuff.  I'm repaying her right away, but why did I think that this was a good idea? Also, getting hypersexual. All because I started smoking weed again. Dumb move.

I work full-time and go to school online as well. My work performance is starting to suffer from being manic. I'm having a super hard time studying also.  My concetration is just shot. I have more motivation, but am unable to finish my last class this semester.

How do I deal with work during this? It's hard to do my job now. I do manufacturer customer service, which is not too easy. I'm forgetting stuff, and get distracted easily. I got chewed out by my boss because I forgot that he told me to do something. 

I don't know what to do. I need to work to put food on the table, but I don't want to get fired. 

Does anyone have any stories or advise they'd like to share?

Thanks!",1.8053781512605056,4.096394607843138,3.584845938375352,86.66323529411768,80.86274509803921,6.042577030812327,21.478991596638657,7.2636822038024595,0.7698168067226896,796,24,159,11,21,266,135,204,0.125,0.725,0.15,0.7528,1,0,2,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,1,8,9,11,2,1,4,0,20,2,0,3,1,26,38,12,0,2,6,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,11,8,2,1,5,0,3,3,3,4,1,0,8,3,22,7,23,28,2,16,0,1,0,0,8,5,1,1,9,98,33,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2184210821954124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09286850880072096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09548903852233907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12830679593402544,0.0,0.0,0.16649684200173367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15110596611229696,0.0,0.0,0.14079195113129755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11950847023718025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16513427467278116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2140478654588565,0.0,0.07761272390201135,0.11454378116450807,0.10922306583698456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24466984590607554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15416464104628094,0.0,0.0,0.1355191441018566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07505225009446018,0.11131825353202228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06671849199394479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10900444086166182,0.14514639771311225,0.0,0.10126080906181097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13728499131768182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166252938811311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13821051393958356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2102679706519224,0.0,0.0,0.19332204080327986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31266724433067195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12573019728510465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08750498514657429,0.0,0.0,0.07963182885102772,0.0,0.0,0.1304931840436015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08054925070479116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12278784102486535,0.0,0.12322817462643587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.497102729336319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Kyiahn,2020/02/29,Trying to cheer up What would you want to hear in a podcast?,2.09846153846154,3.1811742307692303,3.0953846153846136,96.0246153846154,75.92307692307692,5.2,20.69230769230769,3.1291,-0.4706307692307692,47,1,11,0,1,15,12,13,0.0,0.685,0.315,0.5574,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,4,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,8,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7011731461690122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4223778549664395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3669418099927605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4419353740137074,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,nayarose15,2020/02/29,"Anyone have similar experience on Seroquel? I took Seroquel 25mg for about a month and I had to stop because I felt pain in all of my joints and tendons, including random muscle pains throughout the day. I have read many reviews and haven't found anyone with similar symptoms to these. Can anyone on here relate??",6.284137931034483,7.705632758620695,6.340862068965517,75.4278448275862,66.24137931034483,8.558620689655173,33.46551724137931,8.841846274778883,3.032158620689656,252,11,41,4,4,80,45,58,0.156,0.8440000000000001,0.0,-0.8334,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,5,4,1,0,1,9,8,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,4,0,1,2,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,4,1,5,0,9,4,1,7,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,3,27,6,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4880030961026134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418155347906687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15003392453748088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275671218742455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22337143422473088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550783818889394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2358610279401385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18569148687148584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4950919468325808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327035301255159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944979370552442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24180263316414016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25847223798433305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mrsensi,2020/03/01,"Just finished my mental evaluation for my disability application. Was marked extremely limited in every category but 1. This was a total surprise to me. I was honest as I've ever been with anyone physciatrist or otherwise, about my situation and life. I knew I had issues but this was a total eye opener to see what medical professional thinks about my situation. I guess I've been in denial about how bad things are.",4.883703007518797,7.546548986842108,7.1206015037593975,63.34921052631579,72.28947368421052,10.658646616541354,29.27819548872181,10.608840637214634,4.147419548872181,337,14,52,12,7,119,54,76,0.08199999999999999,0.826,0.092,0.191,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,6,3,0,0,2,0,8,3,1,1,3,15,12,6,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,8,2,9,2,10,4,2,5,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,2,2,42,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18629549625607603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22245964725588324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24100305832644306,0.2244805077557684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2935049598624126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27808585695604915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881888484115537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2684022776515504,0.2685008582692618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21231186250028325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5989616132481571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17700562668068678,0.17071891062080294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mitz171,2020/03/01,"Medication I am quite new to Reddit and have mental health problems I replied to someone today who was asking about the medication 
Seroquel and I replied that along with lamotrigine I have been taking seroquel at 50 mg in the morning and 200 mg at night 
Somebody answered the same post as I did and accused me of lying, I find this disgusting 
Can anyone advise me how to send a picture from my I pad to this bi Polar Reddit as I will show my meds boxes with the
Dosage clearly for all to see, he said I would be basically out of it all day.",10.822777777777775,6.51388868518519,10.564074074074076,67.41333333333334,60.29629629629629,12.651851851851852,42.74074074074074,9.516144504307137,4.094029629629628,430,17,82,5,4,143,76,108,0.109,0.866,0.025,-0.8402,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,2,2,1,0,5,0,10,4,0,1,3,17,14,7,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,5,8,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,4,2,13,0,19,7,3,10,0,0,1,1,6,4,0,0,4,60,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16017459767691586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21415424415390769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477344530758463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2093704410239827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24349606073125085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544507336477969,0.4615380157050124,0.2308537662664131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2212421058527945,0.0,0.2149714117000608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2193905708543024,0.0,0.0,0.219193880739854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436495076903805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2179028253882926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18254315236517915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1940945421947153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17223592504816854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2171363575540844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16272833943594658,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Byakuya8231,2020/03/01,"I want to help a friend I have a friend that was recently diagnosed with Bipolar Type 1. I just wanted to know any advice as to how I could help her when she is having a manic episode or is dissociating.  What things to do or say? I don't have much experience with this kind of thing, but want to learn as much as I can. I know it might not be that simple but would be thankful for any advice, I just want to help her as much as I can.

I should mention I don't live in the same place as her, which further limits what I can do",3.4870676691729336,3.322955175438601,4.838621553884714,89.37868421052633,71.80701754385964,7.917794486215539,24.180451127819552,7.447530270364453,0.7111293233082705,406,9,99,4,7,136,64,114,0.0,0.8109999999999999,0.18899999999999997,0.9481,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,4,0,19,2,0,1,0,23,26,12,0,7,7,0,0,0,2,3,2,1,0,0,9,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,16,4,17,19,4,5,0,0,0,0,11,3,0,3,2,78,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3295547939154665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2293401709591944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346325231172696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17114978529299962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1649466041224201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2605569298563853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3390752883512573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1755959215854438,0.1853426537134414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14889805941149745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1788833902318796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3718740716244815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761761642713355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16649583253461525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13409655312772473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15524630099301912,0.0,0.0,0.22405255275689068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3978351578124705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11978563390413675,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ladysharkbait,2020/03/01,"Quitting medical marijuana for good. I’ve had medical marijuana since I was 19, (23f) but I’ve always had it as a good crutch to lean on. I know it’s a shit crutch but it’s been a consistent one. I’d like to say I don’t use it everyday but I do. I have a card for it and go to dispensaries. I just need to stop now. 
Now I’m getting bad highs. Highs where I’m stuck in my head. Highs where I’m there in the room but i can’t see my friends. I use it to control my racing thoughts and crazy impulses but now it just makes my head race into a million mean directions and puts me down so hard. I just feel like I’m losing something when in reality I’m gaining control. But damn, it hurts. It sucks. That’s all. Just needed to complain about it I guess. Scream for a second, work it out. Thanks whoever made it this far, 🤙🏼",-0.8372887151929653,1.2528948314606758,1.813654127992184,95.84382755251593,92.25842696629213,5.567562286272595,19.53688324377137,7.079830092131019,0.3342073277967765,632,21,153,11,23,217,100,178,0.213,0.6629999999999999,0.12300000000000001,-0.9552,0,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,6,13,14,3,0,7,0,8,5,3,6,1,30,30,12,0,2,10,0,2,2,1,0,2,2,1,0,14,5,0,3,4,0,0,2,2,8,0,3,7,5,15,6,18,23,1,22,0,2,1,0,3,14,3,1,8,87,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11561105580408175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160109484087373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31167102396467417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0702533601667698,0.09926034830036386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1073464129648567,0.0,0.0725915742758449,0.0,0.0789640644134307,0.2330762807771453,0.0,0.0,0.15306051760992515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244649362941044,0.0,0.2851896009954169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4404002453187762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487405180390993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07635900935926666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13576029894346453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15544080189778828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13147048615282145,0.09274500941825324,0.0,0.0,0.15134880770772674,0.0,0.27993933434233764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20604778823142764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09415084276890223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396753051869858,0.0,0.14778215157747113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11049242848498984,0.0,0.0,0.11071895883549686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426221901225213,0.11493443851793275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069645075181382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11616191566774392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12791932685765542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11030460109475104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2400029315181396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10115158949701042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,thatgalinside,2020/03/01,"I just broke it to my husband that we can no longer try to conceive. I'm not exactly sure where to post this, so please delete if not allowed. I'll keep it short. Had an appointment with my new pdoc, going over meds (I take a lot), when I mentioned that I wasn't on birth control and we were actively trying to conceive. She looked at me in horror. Eyes wide, gasp, hand to chest and everything. She then proceeded to tell me that several of the meds I am on can cause massive birth defects or miscarriage. WTF?! every other doc I have had has been totally on board with me TTC. Never mentioned anything about any of this. I'm devastated. He doesn't know how to process it. I feel like my world has been turned upside down",1.8175000000000023,4.146604083333337,2.904,91.34100000000002,81.08333333333334,6.34,23.488888888888887,7.554174236665415,1.0613005555555557,564,20,118,9,15,180,102,144,0.11699999999999999,0.81,0.073,-0.7692,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,2,0,0,1,6,4,0,0,3,0,13,3,3,4,4,23,22,8,0,1,5,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,9,6,0,2,2,0,0,1,6,2,0,0,6,4,17,2,19,16,2,20,0,1,2,0,9,11,0,3,8,77,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13903159103175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1682432115504198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21002432347502867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2293057179560724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1722561836931892,0.0,0.18374460049965333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10337500731985652,0.14605762924027574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161924599388076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18172269807045727,0.0,0.0,0.11235922570412374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09988292277914997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716847546244243,0.0,0.0,0.1738143037235353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4541910816757109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15768283360975627,0.1974570674820354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2244224129076432,0.0,0.0,0.19580458514946414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23096794686540545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19268973759334904,0.0,0.1537193860272481,0.0,0.17869648656404913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2776134239772443,0.2223806196467296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,dreamingmoth,2020/03/01,"What could I expect if I check myself into a hospital? Been pretty bad off lately. Actually planning my suicide in ways that would least impact my family and friends. I think I might need to check myself into the hospital soon. Problem is I don't know what to expect from it. I have been checked into a mental ward before but I was so bad off I barely even remember it. And that was before I had a grown up job and I could basically disappear for a week and no one knew my business. I'm afraid I'll lose my job, or come back to my job and everyone treat me like a sick puppy for the rest of my life. How long do they typically keep you? Can they hold me against my will? What's your experience with going in? Did it help? Did it affect your job? Did everyone know your business after and treat you differently? Just need advice, thanks",1.6280952380952378,3.988548476190477,3.5726190476190496,86.07238095238097,82.09523809523809,6.590476190476192,20.642857142857142,7.793537801064563,0.9652357142857144,656,19,132,12,18,221,103,168,0.142,0.738,0.121,-0.5873,5,0,0,0,0,1,16.0,0,5,2,2,6,10,0,1,7,0,18,2,0,2,0,33,29,11,1,9,4,0,0,1,1,3,2,0,0,0,9,11,0,2,5,0,3,4,2,5,0,1,9,0,28,5,18,15,2,19,0,1,0,0,9,8,0,3,7,99,37,4,0.0,0.0,0.1328770075760408,0.0,0.0,0.1330584711658112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10470217242596032,0.2273835067259608,0.0,0.0,0.2317320911294485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11729374602326502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21743270649887395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14226302579481642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08993543407110928,0.0,0.0,0.26022222092478137,0.0,0.13319510669385826,0.1283638664981695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052004321540566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07738548006865635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09126826112301012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5404894196501104,0.12102935282513085,0.0,0.0,0.14966500624627982,0.0,0.1535995996613365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09617708381358514,0.06652314559822352,0.0,0.0,0.1205013861097756,0.0,0.15233335779346371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13722189049857064,0.14444912263856494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20192865106196112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09226865689680544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13852835021118187,0.0,0.13029113272568288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15424794804620445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14894197194150546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12536206934727298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08724877756536009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10808112150355872,0.10922302876155199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09672742505454406,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ptv1000,2020/03/01,"help i feel like i could be bipolar, too afraid to tell anyone other than my gf. i don’t want to tell my grandparents because i don’t know what they would think of me (i live with them). my mom is also bipolar and i heard it can be passed down but don’t know if this is true or not. what do you guys think i should do?",3.6314788732394376,2.7391188732394407,4.462077464788735,94.68635563380285,71.53521126760563,7.663380281690142,23.38380281690141,5.985473137389443,0.14843380281690166,244,4,64,1,4,79,49,71,0.0,0.873,0.127,0.7543,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,2,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,13,2,0,0,1,16,20,5,0,5,4,1,1,1,1,2,2,1,0,1,5,2,0,0,5,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,1,2,14,2,6,14,0,2,0,0,0,0,10,1,0,2,1,45,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2177954761307524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1904310737883288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16601995839207448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2174465975647244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13770662311565424,0.1945644641235565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2696659504227189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1825481839085708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2993491357099518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13305479108968726,0.0,0.24048703577231845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31896904414136656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4760858618607397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3490174064198067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16063707983582004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19346720930796496,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,parentheticalhipster,2020/03/01,"Predicament I am on the upswing and I have my disability hearing on the 4th. I am not established with my current psychiatrist yet so can't really call for advice. The symptoms seem to come in waves, but lately I haven't been able too sleep. I've been getting maybe on average about 4 hours interrupted. Last night I slept a little more about 5. I haven't done anything rash other than I've been More impulsive with my driving, which is not ideal because I'm an impulsive driver as it is.

I'm conflicted about what I should do, things aren't all that bad, but knowing mania things can switch quickly.",5.24583333333333,6.348854897435899,5.847083333333334,79.19062500000005,68.4017094017094,8.926923076923078,30.86431623931624,9.188382445141503,2.64961623931624,481,19,90,9,8,156,82,117,0.059000000000000004,0.88,0.061,0.0511,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,7,2,0,0,5,0,16,4,3,0,1,14,24,5,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,7,4,0,1,2,0,0,2,6,1,0,0,5,1,10,1,13,18,3,14,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,1,7,63,17,0,0.2278283077371603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2226311855350083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18748328503779216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902271205657572,0.13888202177067305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2326381749315073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962539138185389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2331474591140469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11903088752603674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25677906087683217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22436499060332127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12520847970736024,0.18571047864495396,0.2570002546301053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22834381699663056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22888415732785705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21380143329849916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14595264781365802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20740633473108747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2279928426163133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368008456399224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30271800843659685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,johntravoltaboston,2020/03/01,What should I take for bipolar depression? Non medication Currently I only take pro biotics and amyloban 3399 as well as magnesium and vitamin b pills. As far as the antipsychotic medication I take are latuda and sometimes l take Wellbutrin. I just want to feel better I have a apprenticeship that I had to quit because of this illness I feel almost everyday I want to get better.,3.906847826086956,7.0150781449275375,5.388242753623189,71.79366847826088,79.14492753623188,8.667391304347825,31.81340579710145,9.188382445141503,3.8237666666666654,308,16,48,9,8,103,48,69,0.098,0.7190000000000001,0.183,0.4357,2,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,3,2,4,0,0,2,0,4,6,0,0,0,10,13,7,0,3,1,0,2,0,0,1,6,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,8,3,9,11,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,31,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20216875181766672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12307336251215062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3571195702863666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1738919304414303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2041684302439397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10548184267381114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40677609099787215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1535503006741647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2147402617755212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1996793895330296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6071998746493342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2381658898243761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815279171526896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,abbs731,2020/03/01,"How do you know if it's you or your significant other ruining a relationship. Anyone else ever feel like they arent the one with the problem in a relationship, but your SO is making it out to be you? And you cant tell if it's you and all the f'd up sh*t in your head, or really them being a POS?",3.361153846153848,3.1840669230769234,5.996730769230767,81.01201923076924,72.07692307692307,9.576923076923078,23.94230769230769,9.516144504307137,1.6115384615384611,230,5,54,5,4,84,46,65,0.061,0.887,0.052000000000000005,-0.1431,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,8,2,0,3,3,0,0,6,0,6,1,1,2,2,16,9,9,0,3,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,1,10,1,6,7,1,5,0,1,0,0,13,4,0,4,2,44,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19377905492275,0.28395729288000243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.231510515324842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506842399013033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401276522423845,0.1979851146631764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2844201980984594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1523060061991093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353940360540242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18498959190175368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1877936731073053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2651805196994751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17753961181094574,0.0,0.0,0.595077995062662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24222797923200926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,eslteachyo,2020/03/01,"Uninsured Never thought about Reddit for this but...
American, uninsured and psychiatrist retired. No need, don't qualify for Medicaid (I do work) what do I do to get help? Dxed about three years ago off meds x eight months or so",2.255714285714284,5.171803142857144,2.873333333333335,86.93000000000004,89.0,6.609523809523811,26.04761904761905,7.793537801064563,2.039447619047619,180,8,33,4,6,56,35,42,0.053,0.883,0.064,0.128,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,6,7,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,1,0,2,0,6,6,0,5,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,4,22,4,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3589518258281555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115626381997711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2714204388550825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4497932290681464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32321649694680354,0.0,0.0,0.3002553265191687,0.3123120367589569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32147439487263113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29479863669534273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2607658667202629
bipolarreddit,incredible5150,2020/03/01,"Just diagnosed bi polar 1 I have been recently diagnosed.  Im not sure what to think i thought bi polar was up and down moods.  I thought i was honestly schizophrenic atributed to drug use but then the doctor told me about the manic episodes and all my symptoms are text book.  Scary stuff im sober now and even though the drugs made my symptoms worse i believe id had it since i was in my twenties.
Does anyone know any holistic things i can do? Also my main fear is ending up being a zombie from the meds right now im on wellbutrin and gabapentin but the doctor wants me to do a mood stabilizer. Abilify or stratera?  I don't want to have any more full fledged episodes I've had allot of them this year and i feel like ill be in a hospital the rest of my life if i don't get help. Ive caught two felony cases due to mania one on meth and one during a sober one. The good thing is i was actively trying to get help so it helps with the charges but its scary to me that my brain is failing me its like being in a movie i cant control.",1.304145915246831,3.250141559633029,2.6943512450851905,94.23503058103977,80.65137614678899,5.8037570991699425,22.307557885539538,6.868970318607317,0.4614291830493666,812,26,183,9,21,263,132,218,0.17800000000000002,0.74,0.08199999999999999,-0.9733,0,0,3,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,2,8,9,0,1,13,0,23,14,1,3,2,27,36,15,0,3,7,0,1,2,0,0,11,0,0,0,10,7,0,1,5,1,0,1,4,2,0,4,12,1,24,5,20,21,6,18,0,1,0,2,5,10,0,3,9,119,34,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09605812588629607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16336838586434976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08398912770639938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353315774974522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13409114075838782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13472227690825506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2438339872810357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24589122569703406,0.10511585752744558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2785969236430119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10638867876720523,0.0,0.0,0.0793366448239056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351658699572653,0.060735146448491775,0.08581214871772716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12551313941722095,0.0,0.0,0.10074907458565613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415371991428834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3892433656031489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06601357721663054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08484272319944884,0.11736693616716808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11365832482875188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13342374804298818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2441846999308213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186017927019022,0.0,0.0,0.10257990710930802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09936264882976603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13750609242731698,0.0,0.0,0.1132095632713494,0.24969668100994466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15960179910737465,0.07696660775050995,0.1180150851659594,0.19072016158455596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11477766316485315,0.0,0.08155207142648728,0.0,0.11733759358786845,0.0,0.0,0.10374317441343084,0.0,0.0,0.14169712898547598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224102550694314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07735189649603316
bipolarreddit,glitterwitch18,2020/03/02,"What is a manic episode like? I'm curious. I don't have bipolar but my mum's friend (who has since passed) did. I also had a classmate last year with bipolar, and she'd go through sort of 'hyper' phases and then not turn up for ages (I assumed she was in a depressive episode then).
I just have questions and would rather ask real people with real experiences than the internet. I know it's probably different for everyone, too.",2.8812349397590364,5.221021867469883,4.094804216867471,84.1838930722892,77.31325301204821,7.523493975903612,28.44728915662651,8.472884824447931,2.3141578313253017,337,15,64,7,8,110,65,83,0.044000000000000004,0.858,0.099,0.5106,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,4,0,10,2,0,0,0,16,15,7,0,2,4,1,0,1,1,1,2,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,3,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,3,0,8,2,9,10,0,9,0,1,0,0,7,2,0,3,6,44,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874073980382428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2190830288597461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2018429289026257,0.0,0.0,0.24484298084019995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2239288244296644,0.0,0.22923656216400384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810560913517063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13318493338590354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12879111087394532,0.19102427328817526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11449022099830199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16246686470595184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25266595398813346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2625225345098379,0.0,0.0,0.5334769139385865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1938544533069083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25490249564871703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16647355099496647,0.0,0.0,0.1509119350590321
bipolarreddit,LouieCyphre,2020/03/02,Not sure how to approach a loved one I suspects is bipolar My cousin is very close to me. She grew up with an abusive bipolar father (who sadly has gotten worse over the recent years). She recognizes his  issues but she is one of those people who doesn’t believe in therapy. I’ve seen many sides of her that are concerning..mainly the fact she’s lost her last 3 jobs and today is with HR again with her most current job because she’s a bit hostile to her employees and I think this is bleeding into her work life now. She loves and lives for her job so I get really nervous for her and don’t know how to approach it. She had a neurologist friend who mentioned it once to her that she may be bipolar and she blew it off. I know there’s a strong genetic link so I can’t help but wonder. She also will not take meds even if dx is not sure she would ever seek help for it. Any advice?,2.9162060889929755,4.1698789071038265,4.016053864168619,89.55110655737705,74.13661202185794,6.758626073380171,24.00039032006245,7.1686216300943375,0.805734113973458,692,20,149,7,14,225,116,183,0.13699999999999998,0.742,0.121,0.1719,5,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,3,10,10,1,1,7,0,16,8,0,2,4,31,27,13,0,2,6,2,0,0,1,3,6,0,0,0,11,10,0,0,6,0,0,3,6,4,0,2,4,1,27,6,18,19,2,18,0,2,1,2,31,7,0,4,8,103,38,4,0.0,0.17479575821846774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14416199617305453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11797754981185712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10032364104109424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08993128901908265,0.0,0.0,0.16621277771150686,0.0,0.0,0.16106163144554916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974404078807169,0.13344691304246867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11397924660277925,0.0,0.07707693920223706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977689146050773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1539802002067895,0.4391943235433573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621543210941404,0.1202544614195574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10420291370544604,0.0,0.0,0.1302693322468348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16104350420643726,0.0,0.2662983442834745,0.0,0.0,0.14956955388090676,0.0,0.0,0.16386960223915809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15711178809786042,0.1999366691335913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10227687286769402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09450978309708148,0.0,0.14566543722523748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2780855188833045,0.0,0.11092218962906968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16871035514399116,0.0,0.0,0.09452955401694844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13983865573482304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12172549478746787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15998709264394975,0.10740165083408323,0.0,0.15034294945573434,0.1047991800774993,0.0,0.0,0.09500276148115316
bipolarreddit,godzillavictim0405,2020/03/02,"My guy friend confided in me that he suffers from bi polar disorder. Looking for advice. As the title suggests I’m looking for advice on how to help my friend. I’ve known him for 14+ years, recently we got a little closer. He’s been in a depressive state for a few months. He just recently went back to his therapist and got back on his medication maybe 3 days ago. I’d really appreciate anyone who would be open to talking about this in a personal message to give me advice on not only how to help him and be there for him, but also how to cope myself.",4.856207332490519,5.105248451327436,6.578280657395703,76.65176991150445,68.91150442477877,9.996965865992417,29.417193426042985,9.957137785484203,2.76948394437421,437,15,86,10,7,152,76,113,0.052000000000000005,0.8590000000000001,0.08900000000000001,0.4933,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,1,0,0,0,9,4,0,0,5,0,4,2,0,3,0,12,11,8,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,2,3,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,4,2,11,2,20,4,1,19,0,2,2,1,20,9,0,0,8,56,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4641083488304938,0.1403359670845931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12660379132680774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11069695457569376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24346766218801966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10209954810929923,0.0,0.13635576993798873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18144176422623334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24462628314450285,0.0,0.0,0.15186938573469613,0.0,0.0,0.253236621599162,0.0,0.0,0.15675592680706998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2122293134203914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15867239745603698,0.0,0.0,0.2658880749437212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15904787114709454,0.0,0.0,0.15948487931434568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12636486685107215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120405066638141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382338341793164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10142011659545597,0.0,0.31263230415281457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272469398213835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18381496327035748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467588295255274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124618501309034,0.0,0.0,0.10194914040180868
bipolarreddit,h0tcheeto,2020/03/02,"I went on a cocaine bender with serious heart problems im really dumb I’m seeing a cardiac surgeon, I got manic, the first time I didn’t take my pills I was sleeping or didn’t wanna take them the next few days, I had shakes and extreme chest pains for two days I’m scared they aren’t gonna go away before I go to work, I’m scared I can’t mentally pull myself together for work and I don’t know what to do.",0.3689999999999998,2.211936566666669,2.7322222222222234,93.285,83.33333333333334,5.777777777777778,20.0,6.937597516519254,0.2653333333333334,321,9,74,4,9,110,61,90,0.20199999999999999,0.7979999999999999,0.0,-0.9348,1,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,2,3,0,7,1,3,4,0,8,6,3,0,0,7,20,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,5,5,7,0,2,6,1,12,0,8,13,1,12,0,0,1,0,2,2,1,1,5,39,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18574856394358508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1682307706966259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550042789452769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16816614998357604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2247184477424161,0.0,0.15812122406335755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2342791172119957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21355326655563187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10865244957834556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19923821756846796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21025948239127168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2103700301496083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891751596988247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266536639088934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3958705715281145,0.0,0.15754376848500634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19784587189693725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29729624309660635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11528226346549438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19312719456352184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18327274799466686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28786041280038377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Opera__Guy,2020/03/02,"Attention when Hypomanic Hey guys-

does anyone else fucking crave attention when hypo?  Like, I need constant assurance and attention from so many people.

It sucks.

Am I alone in this?",4.156451612903227,7.498600774193555,4.718322580645161,72.27748387096777,89.64516129032259,8.931612903225806,28.780645161290327,8.841846274778883,3.99615612903226,148,7,21,5,5,47,27,31,0.129,0.7190000000000001,0.151,0.1926,0,1,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,3,4,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,6,4,4,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,2,4,0,4,0,0,0,1,2,1,2,0,4,11,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33825858821092464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283659665569624,0.3346397869227463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3529380365189637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28580942629423284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27283197671355275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3019359780900802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3233848562143664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595600201572428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3311206345748838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24216939340457005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22642297290831664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jaydog180,2020/03/02,"I hallucinate but my doc says it’s from childhood trauma Anyone else here hallucinate, similar to a schizophrenic? Mine aren’t as severe as one with schizophrenia and I always (our almost always) know that what I see and hear isn’t real. 

Anyone else here relate?",3.3724999999999987,6.4701279166666685,4.492500000000003,77.1025,82.33333333333334,6.533333333333335,20.5,7.793537801064563,1.448225,212,6,33,4,6,69,38,48,0.161,0.8390000000000001,0.0,-0.8156,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,7,5,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,3,6,0,5,5,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,1,1,23,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2322508369188712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3859793886105207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3243506968650063,0.475292574123895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3875062607108084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.261409219338742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12746619924196814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15716613119894676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639944408494218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18444516268842145,0.0,0.0,0.18482331011377925,0.0,0.0,0.2620221539366978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,nonsequitous,2020/03/02,"I can't explain my symptoms, so I do stupid things. (should also be flaired as suicide, but I could only choose one) BD2. Often i become sad and depressed due to disparate antecedents. One failure here, a passing thought there, some precision strike reminder of the past. All of this coalesces, and I become depressed without really know what thing predominated the sadness. I'm open and vulnerable to negative thoughts, I have a grab bag of reasons to be hopeless, but I don't think I could give a good account of ""this time, x set me off, and compounded over the course of y days"". 

So I keep worrying that this situation is all a mistake, that the fundamental wrongness within me isn't BD, but something else (who knows what). Recently, clinical markers have pervaded my mind; I worried that this depressive spell would end before the 4th day (which is apparently the minimum amount of time to consider depressive symptoms as an ""episode""). I worry that this made me lean into my depression, just to hit that benchmark. I constantly worry about every moment of laughter. I notice the fact that I can still interact with people out in the world without much dysfunction. It doesn't really add up to me. 

I know that BD is a lifelong condition. I know that many people are in long-term therapy. I recently read articles online about how long to see a therapist; they all noted how trauma tends to lengthen the process considerably. The fact that bipolar wasn't mentioned was somehow incredibly devastating, even with what I'm already aware of. I know that the pain of trauma, from whatever source, is a terrible burden, but I would almost take it I think. I'm going crazy at the muddled state of my own condition. 

So the old fears (that I shouldn't feel this way, that I have no reason, that my mind is fooling me) have come out of the closet again. This time though, I've been strangling myself over the weekend. I did it once last year when I was incredibly depressive and suicidal and incredibly angry. Then as now, it's more a matter of self-punishment than a suicide attempt. It's also how the pain is strangely and paradoxically and stupidly comforting. It's taking out the frustration about yourself on yourself. It's also to perversely prove to myself that I'm not normal, that this lack of energy and motivation is not normal, that thinking about buying a rope, no matter how idly, is not normal. I think it's also some form of preparation, getting used to pain, inflicting it on myself, growing numb. Every time I strangle myself though, afterwards I hold my head in my hands and wonder why the fuck I'm doing this. 

It's all too normalised. I don't really have a centre anymore. I don't have a good sense of what solid ground feels like.",6.998439698333229,7.637837954813364,7.2964560491792945,71.99528804106724,64.34381139489194,10.418429558273656,35.27986564421066,10.31137664058796,3.8022807655744977,2185,96,370,49,31,711,260,509,0.284,0.6579999999999999,0.059000000000000004,-0.9993,1,0,1,0,0,3,75.0,0,0,1,2,28,29,4,1,31,0,37,11,2,9,8,85,70,32,3,11,10,0,4,1,0,4,8,0,1,0,43,19,0,2,21,2,2,4,16,25,0,2,8,5,46,4,54,53,12,49,0,9,1,1,6,18,1,6,25,269,89,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07141440429534288,0.0,0.07870088795934291,0.22813105014139434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07072802404394536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575296582234793,0.060686135027423774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06143390908308807,0.0,0.07706912952974444,0.0,0.11388280769967148,0.0,0.0,0.09198807115108988,0.0,0.3685551356257644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059576811727582724,0.0,0.06316634013619793,0.0,0.0,0.04710468773822517,0.0,0.12017652606777753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08025227322550013,0.07212077381244474,0.050949400223145085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06593209174796368,0.037260570146464285,0.06841446470301829,0.040531509207200125,0.1196358557588638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07319256565887593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06339047485421173,0.0,0.0,0.19597179513795324,0.058133468214039474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034842240248612134,0.0,0.0,0.12622789278442345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06748256006781511,0.0,0.07230498397882858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14402115284326916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052426737124550885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20962869824247,0.0,0.08119570775578402,0.07483596020386356,0.07595105438601606,0.09665347848797788,0.05424034700429905,0.22766127746756595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06808084260162145,0.09888546782711673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07133702911619895,0.0,0.13706389118706944,0.14665300780708096,0.14083530814334208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05683099689444648,0.0,0.07439994571421428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08016411608266415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0549038724579335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05695443092412311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340300622957868,0.0,0.0,0.14825285609633682,0.1072441140048127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08155803911444286,0.08280538079290754,0.0947606610551612,0.18279008558556065,0.1401386143182984,0.11323662195149152,0.16634376643379065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06159562011430576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05660869413046814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06435315813375819,0.0,0.0,0.1374954925674014,0.07734103546000375,0.0,0.28970646471344985,0.0,0.10132413769892593,0.07797474159165459,0.0,0.045926279570966434
bipolarreddit,mddasian,2020/03/02,"I’m so confused Hello, everyone. I’m not sure where to start with this post. For some time, I’ve been pondering about what my feelings and emotions have been for the past months. A little under two years ago, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, but have exhibited many symptoms for several years. After I was diagnosed, I was put on Lexapro and still on it today. I remember a couple weeks in of taking the medicine, I started doing things impulsively and that would get me trouble at school. I felt so hyper and so full of energy. When I talked to people as well, my speech would be faster than how I would usually talk. I would talk about one topic and then another minutes later. This at first never worried me; I believed this was what it finally meant to be happy. And some days, the depression would be triggered by something, or just come out of nowhere, and typically last a week or a little more. It is usually very severe depression and amplified feelings filled with suicidal ideation. Nowadays, I think these more changes have gotten concerning. A couple of days ago, my depression was triggered by a serious argument, and I felt so low. The first thing that came to mind was suicide and I felt so empty. It almost lasted the whole week. On Saturday, I finally made an effort to go out of the house to a party because I didn’t feel safe at home. At first, I had no energy to talk to my friends or even move from my seat, but as time went by, my mood changed. I asked my parents if I could sleep over, but they said no, and I immediately went into severe depression. I couldn’t stop crying, and hyperventilating, and thinking about how if I went home, I was going to kill myself. The next day, I felt extremely irritable from my mother, but that soon turned into being hyper. I felt so hyper, it was uncomfortable. I was calling my friends, and as they were trying to talk to me, I was unable to understand what they said. My speech, again, was faster than normal. I’m not sure what to think of this.

TL;DR I think I’ve developed bipolar disorder.",5.075032715376229,6.418518865139951,5.857465467102872,78.06661259541984,69.0,9.278407851690297,29.811795710650678,9.606745405546679,2.7942650672482743,1626,62,300,36,28,532,196,393,0.215,0.7140000000000001,0.07200000000000001,-0.9966,1,0,1,0,0,2,57.0,0,0,3,4,19,18,1,1,15,0,32,5,1,5,3,75,66,37,3,10,12,2,8,0,2,5,4,4,2,0,19,24,0,2,16,0,0,10,7,10,1,5,30,12,44,7,53,25,6,69,0,6,0,0,17,19,0,9,39,220,63,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196416666583496,0.0,0.06757586099473907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0707632591437353,0.05162536791478285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0630887879340208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041137853216688114,0.0,0.0,0.07603178967870783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06890909975902622,0.0771841555580362,0.0,0.0,0.14277905719234651,0.05813182006522634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05388078818789125,0.1493403713694172,0.07412842537554193,0.13056553164483073,0.0,0.29062099889242304,0.13699045544504532,0.0,0.0,0.07734294894042566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07591084718523135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044572798193969886,0.0,0.0,0.0644842194773646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023663944425132,0.0,0.3239779509170779,0.14785168487980516,0.0,0.17220654389083245,0.0,0.0,0.10427653306512474,0.0,0.0352578045514327,0.0,0.0767058595284357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0718383800593399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353846760152025,0.0,0.0,0.07786791680123392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07466147061507784,0.0,0.0,0.11001755754840616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13527416013653207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06385535444435804,0.0,0.06841857178242668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06813998871004726,0.0,0.05386539028875408,0.07172521871605078,0.0,0.0,0.052048116079501036,0.0,0.07177040640345378,0.0,0.06612036657831998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045729164104975455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07493342055002374,0.0,0.06442147913221341,0.0467851737630524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06463138404767539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06784044374393948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0764466501007974,0.0,0.12838620308889276,0.0,0.0,0.06829779792928939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287144307448097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06753311893379932,0.0,0.0,0.051952774652384084,0.0,0.0,0.09553158657547517,0.0,0.05389311505345706,0.056419965537187075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14763392263635666,0.0,0.12720646376013242,0.0701421127466608,0.05073985711987362,0.2712069520322638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08966725021958559,0.1729650696750519,0.0,0.0,0.07870137228466825,0.0,0.06396730388705389,0.0,0.0,0.045817465939746185,0.07340362955329467,0.06592243585756226,0.07025362216770571,0.0,0.0,0.14864902644766045,0.055681683115128416,0.0,0.0,0.16239570318658428,0.0,0.060676564433844934,0.18767609607890445,0.0,0.07534390307713887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06853366621875627,0.0,0.23969484560277066,0.0,0.0,0.08691545956074134
bipolarreddit,sasa_yuri,2020/03/02,"Cognitive deficit questions Not sure if that’s the right word to use but oh well. Hello. Maybe some of you will be able to help me out! I’ve been diagnosed for almost a year officially, but starting struggling with declining memory & focus sometime in my junior year of high school. Unfortunately it just got worse into uni and I had to leave - trying to study was useless because I’d immediately forget what I’d read and I couldn’t grasp concepts in class. It was like trying to hold sand. 

Anyways, since my diagnosis and meds it’s improved a lot but I still struggle with a lack of motivation and academic issues. I’m going to talk to my pdoc this week, but has anyone else dealt with this? Are there medications or supplements? It’s just a depressing situation, and I’m desperately looking for a way out of it.",2.873812217194569,5.587394352564104,4.478567119155353,79.29780542986427,79.83333333333334,7.516742081447965,25.84313725490196,8.4952907291091,2.187126395173454,653,26,119,15,17,218,109,156,0.201,0.7020000000000001,0.096,-0.9458,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,0,1,6,7,0,2,6,0,9,2,0,2,1,33,16,11,0,3,9,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,9,11,0,1,3,1,0,1,2,4,1,0,5,2,8,3,21,8,3,14,0,2,1,0,5,7,0,6,6,74,17,6,0.1610206981986564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612389698542897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1744658592245071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11258941609821432,0.16498473385028212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09815672308181414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386868914125624,0.1634326192125668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13451213162027092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915117735097426,0.0,0.12878296187018387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079287798319136,0.17012720829667316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16806377442864226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1704976698389647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07866657967023401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13521683238774956,0.0,0.0,0.1368940394538393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16176693399338873,0.0,0.17885769618072514,0.1622114131985263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803800333004528,0.0,0.16106427268639256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13751079645950498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16296154306183966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331979854919114,0.18099401127807732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15925358780706306,0.0,0.11397127895399435,0.0,0.12859133758036229,0.0,0.0,0.3366675901980695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15176010245054505,0.0,0.0,0.12942233785643775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2186449688013244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13907018384825334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12781073533352275,0.12916109147617252,0.0,0.14477694548904452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16409384784753114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2073841007379416
bipolarreddit,oorararara,2020/03/02,Sudden mania help I just feel like I'm on ecstasy. My body is tense with energy. I feel like leaving my apartment and walking and I live right against the interstate. I just need to fucking get up and leave Idk what to do. Its just building up I feel like screaming,1.0179784366576818,3.588964867924528,2.279838274932615,92.20283018867926,89.0,5.292722371967655,24.552560646900268,6.868970318607317,1.09735795148248,210,9,42,3,7,67,37,53,0.125,0.609,0.266,0.8625,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,3,5,1,0,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,11,9,3,0,1,3,0,3,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,4,7,3,7,9,0,7,0,0,0,1,1,5,1,0,4,25,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25897423369317185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3536590353766633,0.4996817084296963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21554104072324828,0.12180990856487656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.156273806759572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.493738925815099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3417121704415175,0.0,0.20587345078868832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1728758640024213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1991066300085541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,turquiosekitten,2020/03/02,"New job, not sure if I can handle it (triggers suicide) I had a suicide attempt at the beginning of January. I immediately regretted it and there was no ill effects after the OD wore off. I have worked hard with my new therapist and doctors to establish a new routine and found that if I take my meds as prescribed, I am relatively stable.

Then came the last two weeks. I've been applying for jobs and on a whim applied for something I know nothing about but is an entry into healthcare at a local optometrist office. I fell off my wagon with the anxiety of my interviews and hearing back from them. Which I did and was offered the job.

I am worried that I am out of my league. I've only worked customer service jobs and retail before. They provide all the training I'll need but I'm very unsure of myself. The past decade has been spent trying to get stable and being unable to stay employed for any long stretch of time. The new job has set steady hours and is just short of 40 hours a week. Pay is good and will get better. I'll have insurance and vision covered. I'll also have three day weekends. It seems perfect and definitely something I *could possibly* be capable of.

 I'm just not confident in my abilities. I used to be smart and capable and able to push myself. Which I feel I have lost. With having a preset schedule do you think I have a chance? I **want** this job. I need the money and something stable to do. Has anyone experienced something similar? How did it work for you?",1.8674530018192848,4.483929350515467,3.4812745098039244,85.34779411764707,83.67353951890036,6.0352132605619575,25.0536688902365,7.39963492309942,1.5091280776228018,1175,48,218,19,34,388,168,291,0.08800000000000001,0.774,0.139,0.9656,7,0,4,0,0,2,34.0,0,2,2,8,8,7,0,0,17,0,30,2,0,4,3,46,50,23,3,7,8,0,2,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,9,21,0,0,6,1,4,3,3,2,0,2,12,4,30,5,32,33,1,35,0,2,0,0,7,11,0,3,19,150,39,14,0.09548967238018137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07636305650296264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06493625169891487,0.0,0.07304933800411187,0.0,0.0,0.06676859917369378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.073425663834647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08125467804883804,0.0,0.0,0.08445285533435376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921474646394592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07624073333021557,0.0,0.0,0.06158293902172005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0977377259249867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048282447499046484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10469949703742733,0.0,0.0,0.09977882525551993,0.0,0.0,0.08009220671567603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08553999036952503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076238007504632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18807618472951626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5685525932350081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05247862666947377,0.07783682782664539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08450535517170986,0.0,0.0,0.1042382574546001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10606749940868146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416087642493183,0.0,0.368898082474362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916249160194898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0726241987745627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09115569716853013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10765025802173372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08693021139363634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2940504600062509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101779285452083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20890040596588125,0.0,0.08999788614446727,0.0,0.07179634979354088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11087086949924632,0.0,0.0611859263572416,0.0,0.0,0.05568079587248745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06483121943942627,0.0,0.0932795347233644,0.0,0.0,0.0824724177828221,0.0,0.07878898020114912,0.056322282821932315,0.0,0.1531921106702699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20855285630784354,0.09697439748107542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Candid-Strength,2020/03/02,"Lamictal side effects normal? Or neurological disorder? I need help! I took up to 150 mg once a day and wasn’t experiencing issues until I hit 150 mg. I had a uti and then was experiencing pain and frequent urination, I also started having severe anxiety. After this developed I had pains all over my body. I also was having issues sleeping. Then two weeks later I decided to get off of the medication bc I thought it was causing these issues, since decreasing I began have balance and dizziness issues as well as vision problems. I have been sleeping much better but I’ve been off of the medication for about two weeks now and still experiencing vision problems, balance problems and pain problems. I’m going to doctor tomorrow to request an MRI, really scared I might have a neurological disorder, but maybe medication side effects and withdrawal? Please help!",6.401666666666667,8.664612908496736,7.738055555555558,62.29375000000002,66.97385620915033,10.067320261437908,34.97222222222222,10.317481424215053,4.4047084967320265,697,34,100,19,12,238,91,153,0.209,0.6890000000000001,0.102,-0.9636,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,3,6,10,0,1,6,0,14,14,4,3,1,23,23,17,0,6,3,0,0,0,0,1,10,0,0,0,3,7,0,0,4,0,0,2,1,8,1,2,11,3,13,2,16,10,2,22,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,2,14,73,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16781538288564593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08026657907693491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09279675868638647,0.0,0.11654691967640353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077858590610198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06766730513695708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2405040071546821,0.10739416839501194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054818463701375685,0.0,0.05963073183000427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14065670197531974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4380536177555667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10541026897369436,0.0,0.0,0.3170996990625762,0.0,0.11130779168776464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07713121873194075,0.07779982258679151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10280325055145843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11174064437487184,0.0,0.0,0.33493962722545284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11517505290606632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40159242217013946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06721700638031929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050472363410146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185342638249596,0.0,0.08679422383087533,0.0,0.2099995661109723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07426575303892133,0.0,0.08379244847767897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08329794237868468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11657443375580527,0.0,0.0,0.20499101989702292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16832742090538372,0.0,0.094339284231064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,vertigoinmotion,2020/03/02,"Strong delusions(?) I have extremely hard delusions, I'm only able to point them out when looking at stuff that's similar to what I'm going through. I feel like it's all too strong to be considered bipolar disorder (i have bipolar + psychosis), I never hear about others with bipolar who have such strong delusions too.

Just to give some insight on it
I always feel fake, I feel like everythings fake. I feel like I'm constantly being watched and experimented on. I feel like everything is just a giant prodding experiment on me. I feel like stuff just doesn't go my way, and there's a reason for it. I feel like people online are one of my abusers, or just spies. The green light in my fire alarm is a recorder, same for my tv, cameras on my phone and laptop are always running. Stuffed animals can never face me because of the cameras. People seem like decoys.

Is it like this for others? I question whether I actually have bipolar disorder or not because of this. I don't feel like it is, even though I have such high ""score"" on being bipolar. Is this normal? I feel like these are overpowering my manic episodes sometimes.

I'm sorry if this is all over the place, I feel like I'm loosing touch atm. I don't know if any of this makes sense.",3.693553719008268,5.564933107438018,4.390983471074383,85.13283884297522,73.29752066115702,6.988760330578513,28.62892561983471,7.734863291789972,1.7775414876033055,980,40,189,13,20,313,124,242,0.092,0.755,0.152,0.9319,1,0,0,0,1,0,34.0,0,0,1,3,13,17,0,1,6,0,21,6,1,2,4,38,44,10,0,3,10,0,13,11,0,0,5,1,0,0,18,5,0,0,15,1,1,3,6,3,0,1,0,18,26,14,23,41,4,21,0,0,3,0,6,13,0,7,15,122,44,1,0.08300964543071024,0.09835285599772067,0.0810054396550628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13814134952480198,0.0,0.0,0.05644940541491509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012038187737754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08970393699379553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902724905640169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054827087924372665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14920743364057273,0.1623987230667355,0.0,0.0,0.4197217089054084,0.5337189655362973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07963041581798637,0.09435258891260452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07436033754991038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09355790335767812,0.0,0.0,0.08770424794333218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045619930238945464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4460975175612587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0697071956483699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0554095829054596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280443118769608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08133182790556193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056249484050358456,0.06313257590793737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150968725051213,0.0,0.08672741177267876,0.0,0.07847094602057862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09298980053221027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08534774073969367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07556886357586991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08209866188211005,0.09292250195991128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19005236826898847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08155655517268262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06588919276194394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,flossbob,2020/03/02,"Talking to myself  I’ll pace my room for hours on end “interviewing” myself. I’ll imagine someone asking me a question and then I answer out loud, in great detail. I mentioned this to a friend and she told me I was crazy for doing it. Just wanted to see if I’m the only “crazy” person out here doing this.",1.0029262672811043,3.334901274193552,3.0900921658986182,88.68370967741936,84.64516129032258,4.188018433179724,18.534562211981566,5.288315135182226,-0.25295668202764965,237,6,46,1,7,80,45,62,0.077,0.805,0.11800000000000001,0.5423,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,10,8,4,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,3,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,9,2,9,6,0,8,0,0,1,0,9,5,0,2,3,33,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2913448047190805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2760238307378005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24077516114601705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3435882959902824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3069062834325386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23701908846377195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27211527128257096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3491122838186209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24833969220996202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2640547084003557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25048741326567164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29778892488381603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18381553751927832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BarslammingWLer,2020/03/03,Bipolar I Mixed vs. Schizoaffective Disorder Bipolar Type What are the main differences between these two diagnoses? My diagnosis was recently changed from Bipolar 1 w/ mixed episodes to Schizoaffective Disorder Bipolar Type. Does the difference have to do with when the psychotic symptoms occur? (During an episode vs. chronic) Does treatment change for Schizoaffective Disorder vs. Bipolar I?,9.830734463276835,14.077622271186435,7.245000000000001,60.633827683615856,63.57627118644068,12.068926553672314,50.51129943502825,11.20814326018867,7.985404519774011,330,24,36,12,6,95,42,59,0.138,0.862,0.0,-0.8243,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,4,8,0,0,0,4,4,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,8,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,3,0,6,3,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,22,5,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4015089446350631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19261540968406515,0.0,0.39654439530376,0.6524882517370724,0.0,0.3321429336035054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1873777576725721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19724661457489304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185380462439146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Lafter_ND,2020/03/03,Back into an inpatient Gonna be a fun time wish me luck,1.0115384615384642,1.8242855384615453,4.003076923076924,89.51692307692308,78.23076923076924,8.276923076923078,20.69230769230769,8.841846274778883,1.0178307692307689,44,1,11,1,1,16,13,13,0.0,0.47100000000000003,0.529,0.8402,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,6,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5122082302413534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38842225487404014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.766009713248851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,14678543,2020/03/03,"Searching for answers  I have been spending some time on reddit learning about bipolar and schizophrenia as much as possible.  My adult son is in the process of being diagnosed although they are having a tough time nailing down exactly what is happening with him.  They believe there is a combination of schizophrenia, bipolar, and autism.  He has an excellent team of people he is working with.  I am trying to understand and learn as much as I can.

However, as I’ve been reading peoples’ experiences it has begun to sink in that I also may have something going on.  My current deep depression, the previous period of intense depression, the “extremely productive” periods I’ve been experiencing – I just figured I go through phases and it’s pretty normal?  

But looking back I supposed I was engaging in some uncharacteristically high risk behavior (sex at work, sky diving, etc).  At the time, I thought that I was ordained by god to be a messenger to all people and that I had been given the answers to life and all things.  I do still believe that but not quite so intensely at the moment.   For about 6 months it was the only thing that mattered.  I lost most of my friends because it was too hard to pretend like I care about dumb non-eternal stuff and I became kind of isolated. 

I’ve gone through other periods like that – for a few months I worked 50 hours a week, took boxing and MMA classes, worked out at lunch every day, took music lessons. Might not seem like a lot but I’m also a single mom and at the time I was translating god’s spoken word into written form. God speaks directly to me inside of my head and I often write down what is being said. This period of energy did not last forever though.  I almost got caught engaging in some “risk taking” at work.  I would have been fired.  Eventually I lost my energy and drive and fell into a depression. 

Last December I was too depressed to function so I got put on Prozac by my regular doc. I asked for Prizac because it worked for me when I was very depressed as a teenager. I don’t have a therapist or anything.   Mostly I’ve been trying to live through what is happening with my older son.  It has been devastating watching him suffer.

I was trying to research information to understand him better.  But now I am wondering about myself. 

I guess I’m looking for discussion.  You guys are the only ones who might understand me.",4.692179870453416,6.688291867713004,5.671711509715995,76.46521051320379,70.90582959641256,8.812057797708023,31.222969606377678,9.372597083632963,3.1146060787244654,1887,84,326,43,36,621,231,446,0.122,0.784,0.094,-0.9527,2,0,1,1,1,0,42.0,0,1,2,13,18,22,1,2,20,0,45,8,1,0,3,60,74,30,0,2,9,3,2,3,1,4,5,2,0,2,21,18,1,0,13,3,1,9,4,12,0,1,29,8,46,10,61,38,14,53,0,8,3,1,22,21,1,15,26,243,67,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08282010960183614,0.0,0.0,0.13228310704766585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06806163250532707,0.0,0.07732081033713174,0.0,0.0,0.06359734270659859,0.0,0.10083605186933843,0.0,0.0,0.18636717495629293,0.0,0.073148500166713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08432631285140851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05333981435515233,0.0,0.35618137344545875,0.08394687368650308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09224127702263896,0.0,0.0,0.06968505274747712,0.0,0.0,0.08090428929009462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06389999158150175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09400971885127248,0.0,0.13229827784903767,0.0,0.09111218080418304,0.08189391813965734,0.14627681322863326,0.0,0.07409011779452003,0.0,0.0848822638754826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08738553744245482,0.0,0.0,0.08145071457664196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08612764908797857,0.0,0.1348361092283334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05841910266130496,0.12122084548502254,0.0,0.07303267464919024,0.0,0.13890777010652786,0.0,0.180571092892203,0.07031537947464392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17548022439760838,0.0,0.09686660384468444,0.13203346466595822,0.0,0.12159978529723893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08103627428966638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05604507774557644,0.1258063139520053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17201792896572662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09324083698146217,0.0,0.08414376472646945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08314437883000382,0.0,0.08797013315003066,0.08273037671278675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.078674242952032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0752942521297224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06367265510926927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06605071144945036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09468086627986153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06218611891865641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09603035662845408,0.10989503324951336,0.0,0.0812601849151586,0.06566090926264152,0.1929107874463805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837832507887361,0.16845989802942762,0.0,0.0,0.2583058181815107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06824275755463424,0.0,0.0,0.06634336452295808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08969329222472723,0.3612744313737181,0.0,0.0,0.05875338646550767,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Terry22334,2020/03/03,"What if I'm faking it? I was diagnosed last night by my psychologist, but I can't believe it. It feels like I'm faking it or doing something wrong. I don't know anymore. What if I am faking it? I made a list of stupid things/thoughts I've had in the past few months that I shared with my psychologist last night, and I was wondering if any of you relate. I can't believe I'm actually bipolar...wtf. Please help.

Going to Mongolia to live with the monks

Starting to write books/movies and never finishing them

Feeling the need to clean and get stuff done and get my life on track, then laying in bed for a week

Trouble focusing on directions

Scheduling things in much detail, but then never doing anything

Racing thoughts as I write this list

Forgetting important things

Racing thoughts that push out ideas

Impuslive buying/spending and haircuts

Speaking out of turn or saying things that are inappropriate or not well thought out

Hey! I should start abusing prescription drugs!

People calling or coming to the door are trying to harm me",4.524026682838084,6.883793804123712,4.7358459672528825,81.43453305033354,72.29896907216495,7.657489387507581,28.42207398423287,8.4952907291091,2.2576346876895097,834,33,147,15,17,261,120,194,0.168,0.743,0.08900000000000001,-0.955,0,0,2,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,1,0,2,10,1,0,6,0,13,3,0,1,2,37,32,17,0,5,10,0,2,1,0,1,3,2,3,0,15,11,0,0,8,0,0,3,6,7,1,0,8,4,16,3,22,23,2,26,1,0,0,0,10,8,0,8,16,94,31,0,0.0,0.15412574528589815,0.1269411409805704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08846013257328522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12900626140117574,0.0,0.0,0.1070462956502216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2931154451563656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13282813370923305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1120540131185437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320303602599288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13311891688578725,0.0,0.0,0.1508536714100462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315466044000106,0.0929305142094216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13592481671154802,0.0,0.07392852468944143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08719113572479767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14684659806835484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07148959404016796,0.2120681723532277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09188067204549116,0.06355143119115324,0.0,0.11486467477858055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12308661102592115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10383010790439846,0.0,0.09562514216003344,0.0964540586444345,0.2006543154996324,0.0,0.0,0.2441460467763712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12417786437268542,0.09018239010435512,0.0,0.0,0.1427908308529179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034463244505884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10014337906349748,0.0,0.0,0.18414523480173967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14891261979970702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2592618437149065,0.0,0.0,0.4130818992648152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08831705120724159,0.14149172105199212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10434383002198994,0.0,0.1169592236993337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14106823953390174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422241046945131,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,holddpplleease,2020/03/03,"Can I go to the ER for signs of a depressive episode I can’t stop crying. I’m on campus but I cannot physically walk in fue to agoraphobia. I have feelings of paranoia and want nothing but to go home, but this has been lasting for days relentlessly. I’m afraid I won’t get better without *something*, propanol seems to do me well in these situations but I got those from a friend. Hydrozyzine does jack shit. Not sure what would happen if i go to an ER, I don’t want to be admitted. 

I’m currently between psychiatrists. I take Wellbutrin (450) lamictal (150) and seroquel at night (50) 

I have been diagnosed with bipolar 2. 
Actually, now that I’m thinking about it, i was diagnosed exactly a year ago.",2.7823694553621583,5.03980374452555,4.454306569343069,81.8975856260528,77.24817518248176,8.01100505334082,30.246490735541833,8.841846274778883,2.7014833239752947,551,27,108,13,13,185,94,137,0.114,0.7709999999999999,0.115,0.0018,1,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,1,3,7,1,1,5,0,14,4,1,0,2,21,31,7,0,4,7,0,1,0,1,2,3,0,1,0,6,3,0,1,4,0,0,4,6,3,3,0,4,1,12,4,19,24,0,16,0,1,0,0,2,4,1,2,8,66,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.18106370588319864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16447313118954174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16409816118036355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20381083901951472,0.1196602176863988,0.0,0.15980835778145966,0.3766455245808061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16237038052678912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093816376255286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14335045960022103,0.0,0.09693882867751433,0.0,0.3163459666585942,0.0,0.1483960988460241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16407551774428147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18611527406157227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15124272906933087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1741200199737794,0.0,0.17803400699215166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16891184773137274,0.0,0.0,0.19045775204381396,0.0,0.20855868507849856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14284046285418306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15512268681455366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17487256727978584,0.0,0.13950563227185153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11888879263572052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2188767450897507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16682590306530135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17885732753859304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318047897104588,0.0,0.0,0.11948394052011042
bipolarreddit,hmboltgrl,2020/03/03,"Could use a little help, depressed. Diagnosed bipolar 1 in 2002. I have been on a gamete of medications. Currently taking Lithium 900mg, Lamictal 100, Trazadone 100, buspar, Klonopin. Doing CBT therapy ever other week and DBT therapy twice a week. I've just hit a depression pocket after 3.5 month. Before that it was depression for 5.5. months. I'm really loosing hope. Been doing random dangerous this lately. What has helped you?",3.645090909090911,6.907042866666671,4.847757575757576,72.45054545454549,87.0,8.06060606060606,26.81818181818182,8.575989854853784,3.3462,345,15,48,10,11,113,64,75,0.171,0.758,0.071,-0.8375,1,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,0,0,2,5,1,0,4,0,8,3,0,1,1,7,13,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,3,0,2,1,5,8,0,11,0,3,0,0,3,3,0,2,8,28,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1607041350654641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15078763956488536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4879890132062974,0.19168675992122136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17083275332420256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531748950473845,0.0,0.0,0.1875784754742604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2130399004269787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892851978146637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902544324877164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3014890958001188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12098718579881608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419976125866084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43195086085475604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16311256022182413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3029807788952359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,HoneyCide,2020/03/03,"A question for people who are taking lamotrigine I tried looking into this but I cant seem to find answers. I don't take lamotrigine for Bipolar disorder, but it's the only thing that has helped my terrible terrible depression. 

But when I miss a dose, when I forget, my mood plummets very quickly. But I don't know if it is actually because I missed the dose or if I am just coincidentally having a bad day. So I want to ask if anybody else feels the same or not when they miss a dose? It will help me understand why I am feeling bad and will help me know how to go ahead and get around it. 

Like right now, I lost my medication last night so I technically missed 2 doses including this morning. And I feel so sad right now. I dont know if I should run to the doctor quickly or if I just need to sit and try some coping stuff to get through the day. Thanks for your help",4.0000093109869646,4.651100318435756,5.455432960893855,82.5180470204842,70.95530726256983,8.648230912476723,28.324487895716945,8.841846274778883,1.969848789571695,683,24,147,12,12,231,104,179,0.23199999999999998,0.662,0.106,-0.9803,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,1,2,14,14,0,0,9,0,13,7,0,1,0,39,36,23,0,8,15,0,3,1,0,3,7,0,0,0,10,6,0,0,11,0,0,2,5,11,0,0,1,4,23,2,13,32,2,19,0,7,1,0,9,4,0,11,13,100,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.14083610532836824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12847594836974438,0.13492029661071278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24100337663658666,0.08797650960941182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18614971939841332,0.0,0.1243031373906706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16540393235486886,0.14771826860324422,0.0,0.0,0.16914269024453418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12056135808659392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21891852345613566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13190643088151954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15080313328881115,0.0,0.08202073346360322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3869402742021101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2379445131424595,0.11764056643742135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07050776436912395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12119297161132585,0.0,0.15754300366299254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14538784001704744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107011910068426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13543512408071326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10976233383933948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10005374532945906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16167212224246974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2464980395898913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13138407093937834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652125799786596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2170222886436815,0.0,0.0,0.1328710355903456,0.0,0.0,0.09588020623050872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1959684532537448,0.0,0.0,0.15024285378182733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190796248857027,0.08512404011347184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13022691071894354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,zsmith0919,2020/03/03,Depressed So a few days ago my girlfriend broke up with me and I’m actually not even upset about it. I’m more mad that she called me a psychotic fucking bitch and a cunt. Screamed at me for about an hour told me to get tf out and that I needed to get my shit out that night. Mind you it was 7:45 ish pm when this happened. I don’t drive and I was in an area I didn’t know because I moved in with her an hour from where I lived before. Yes I may have yelled back but I was pissed. She blocked me on all social media and on her phone. I’m upset. I’m hurt. But most of all I’m angry. Angry at the fact that it’s over. Angry at myself. Angry at life. I don’t know what to do or say or feel. I’m alone. and I don’t know what’s gonna happen to me.,-1.2850877192982466,0.4424535906432752,1.2381286549707615,102.21578947368424,89.11695906432749,4.067836257309942,14.26315789473684,4.9825596385082,-1.3679192982456139,568,9,152,2,19,193,97,171,0.266,0.6990000000000001,0.034,-0.9919,0,1,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,0,0,7,12,6,2,7,1,10,4,2,0,3,27,28,12,0,1,5,0,1,0,1,2,1,3,0,0,10,10,0,1,4,0,0,2,5,12,0,0,5,4,24,0,23,21,5,23,0,3,0,1,11,14,5,4,7,95,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.18214198483340235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16545260918249846,0.0,0.0,0.19331152731756795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14352115426079326,0.0,0.11377917645203048,0.0,0.15882410282214698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905889590138419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12037282374556822,0.0,0.16076005590020648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12327955578914708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09437507587543917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17255350525001706,0.1950322465413098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3301052557025418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3676222959609027,0.0,0.1998110502098359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30773135768655313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13183533600626898,0.0,0.0,0.16481402081155214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18846174976711624,0.0,0.0,0.1983777878093908,0.0,0.13839747737436592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1751569475647119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14843035688511913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19159197485191465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.190264612558356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17835061415674927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,whyamidoingthis12996,2020/03/03,"Psychiatrist denied my request for disability documentation for my University, is this normal? I'm a senior in University & my psychiatrist knows I failed a class Summer 2019. I took Fall 2019 off to focus on my mental health. I'm back in school this Spring. She gave me documentation in order to get my failing grade off of my transcript. The office that handles that told me I should look into identifying with the disability office. In order to do that I need in depth documentation from my psychiatrist. 

I started asking her about it a few weeks ago when I was changing medication for the 1st time. I was terrified I would fall behind or fail a class this semester, I only have 2 more semesters after this. She told me ""You're brilliant, I really don't think you need it. I don't think your academics are being affected by the bipolar disorder. Do you?"" 

I'm not very good at going against what authorities say, because they're trained & have credibility. But I did remind her that I failed a class over Summer before I started medication. She kind of just brushed it off & said ""If you think you'll do bad in school - you will. When you think of negative things happening they tend to happen. You're brilliant, I believe you can do this. Just remember to stay on top of assignments, start them a week ahead & you'll be fine."". 

It's been weeks since we had this conversation & I'm not sure if I should bring it up again. But I've been feeling depressed & I'm truly scared I'll miss an assignment or do badly on an exam without proper accomodations. I dont even know if I can still get the  disability accomodations this late in the semester. 

Any advice? Has this happened to you? Thank you for reading all this!!",5.123133232016212,6.6325706382978735,6.182997720364746,75.14961309523811,69.06079027355622,9.130749746707194,29.20985309017224,9.516144504307137,2.657519655521784,1376,51,255,30,24,458,174,329,0.147,0.8029999999999999,0.049,-0.9855,0,0,0,0,0,0,49.0,1,11,2,6,9,14,0,1,14,0,29,4,0,1,2,32,63,9,0,9,12,0,1,0,0,6,4,2,0,0,20,3,0,0,8,1,0,5,7,9,0,0,11,5,47,5,40,44,3,47,0,6,1,0,27,19,0,5,20,169,67,17,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09000703100582153,0.0816483291398075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.598794937713651,0.0,0.06263670946234064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08610869885285002,0.0,0.0,0.07082549196117413,0.15381293773165386,0.05614828133634717,0.0,0.07837726274992471,0.10377435825101017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09743822350119807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07933262594968102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10556393484159964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10795008122055258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06083657306473155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04657265482693432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09624542723842028,0.0,0.05234719174895813,0.077255957204123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443528334326729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09790667025162468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959164779298639,0.1012404752562396,0.0,0.103902019977154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0773476590084301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855785681974293,0.09282336437934224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13659407174796726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09024644346768862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0700524086248356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921330889224156,0.0,0.05900684787522696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10434059343037418,0.0,0.08761595570835796,0.07324810828415303,0.09221633970747832,0.18643675704648047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07619282437333283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1955838958571896,0.09817504653187872,0.07355769806884561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08681085370916179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08480082150224784,0.0,0.0,0.0611925708114437,0.2360767671156945,0.0,0.0,0.0537090106442835,0.0,0.0,0.17602659418800445,0.10233555835333306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07599888094212179,0.0,0.0,0.22165083778935088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08878898238465578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06543099638615593,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,angsmask,2020/03/03,"Just another post about abstaining from alcohol for the sake of your stability I’m BP1 status-post two week hospitalization in 2018 for psychosis. I’m currently on 200 mg of lamictal and have been for about a year. I stopped drinking in July of 2019 after I got hammered and ended up self-injuring to the point my husband had to hold me down to stop me. It was so disturbing to him that he left and when we got back together, I decided to not drink anymore. 

Cut to this weekend and my sister is getting married. Everyone is having champagne so I have half a flute while we’re getting our hair done. I stopped after that small amount. 

Weddings are emotional so of course crying is expected, but a few hours later at dinner I was feeling so unstable and suicidal that my husband and I had to leave early. I cried all night and the next day at anything even remotely emotional. I told my husband that I thought this one evening had set me back months in progress. Part of it was family drama but the emotional liability lasted into the next day. 

I just wanted to make this post because it really highlighted for me just how much alcohol fucks with lamictal, even relatively small amounts. I wish I had known just how sensitive some people can be when I started. Never touching the shit again.",5.268761384335157,6.88540580327869,6.0909289617486335,75.53758652094719,68.8360655737705,9.848451730418944,33.63752276867031,10.125756701596842,3.698210200364299,1032,49,182,27,18,339,149,244,0.12300000000000001,0.789,0.08800000000000001,-0.8675,1,0,4,0,0,0,19.0,2,1,0,1,20,4,3,1,9,0,18,8,2,3,2,35,32,18,1,3,7,4,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,10,10,5,5,4,4,0,0,2,4,0,3,13,3,26,0,32,18,7,44,0,0,0,1,11,13,2,1,28,133,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23504998073442324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153136283502686,0.0,0.0,0.10906115823523173,0.0,0.0,0.09049632833013647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16912100972747296,0.0,0.0670369789967064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24159479926109714,0.14184371356577688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125379737455998,0.0,0.2154583926462336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37110593799636027,0.09740119718958952,0.0,0.0,0.21790337871652432,0.0,0.0,0.1050814986371113,0.0,0.0,0.10367037384083128,0.0,0.05560437486504135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10166592928478724,0.11491006546863546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17590686483755827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10829876301417113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08964061220931159,0.0,0.1164428513210999,0.1194832395518524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07340614396681405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08777738153754124,0.0,0.08084095025396094,0.0,0.08481600743872139,0.0,0.23390968903071765,0.10319983832870544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07451883785706642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11908730458648005,0.0,0.07623967868208316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039576415983294,0.0,0.3159639404693923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07044990029129859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11472318592117067,0.0,0.11288310914695583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07783766606693322,0.0,0.0,0.27582071612650405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12028984739242535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08730427091389896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050814986371113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10742517176862312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06486343359763301,0.0,0.0882116792882632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12646061554365726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07081737841753595
bipolarreddit,holygrandmasauce,2020/03/03,"Question for those with bipolar Is there a time when your mood is neither manic or depressed even with medication ?

Also what are common misconceptions about bipolar?",9.218888888888888,11.842345148148153,7.5935185185185174,64.66583333333335,60.48148148148147,8.362962962962964,39.425925925925924,8.841846274778883,4.119237037037037,137,7,17,2,2,41,24,27,0.0,0.8909999999999999,0.109,0.47,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,0,5,2,0,0,1,0,3,3,0,0,0,4,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,3,1,3,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,2,3,17,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3800614085221464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4093366039013743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31390157470786656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4787696105697905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5323945867614709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2771251266783785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,TrixieVanSickle,2020/03/03,Does anyone here live in Milwaukee? I'm in NYC and seriously considering relocating for financial reasons. I'm concerned about the quality of mental health care there. I'm on Medicare and go to a clinic right now.  Can you share your experiences?,4.3790909090909125,7.563600545454545,6.078363636363638,67.1575454545455,77.63636363636364,9.883636363636363,31.52727272727273,9.888512548439397,4.3186327272727265,200,10,31,7,5,68,38,44,0.038,0.8320000000000001,0.13,0.6199,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,0,0,4,3,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,1,0,3,6,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,7,6,0,6,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,17,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24291319977998066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3542018891414034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3040158886858264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3398281169566811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.197437898615632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3692745797642358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3067644066849601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35010187544311194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35718953295166617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2966814175777732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,CodyAC28,2020/03/03,I'm having alot of trouble with depression. My medications don't seem to work. I take Lexapro and Seroquel. But I've found that Kratom is a life saver. Anyone else use kratom? Id love to here from you guys and gals.,0.4343939393939422,2.8821730454545467,1.4836363636363683,97.48712121212124,91.27272727272728,4.751515151515153,18.696969696969692,6.42735559955562,-0.11954848484848445,170,5,38,2,6,53,38,44,0.14,0.768,0.092,-0.29600000000000004,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,1,1,3,0,0,2,0,3,3,0,1,0,8,9,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,3,1,5,8,1,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,18,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21937244404372155,0.3214609822922186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2702215126460946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620872910587694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3439968014829653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3106492939558825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22160196272844407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2831601999698627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3160573648779326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2856146926948381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2358914358327951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2709683306092293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22840452132063546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,obliviously_willful,2020/03/03,"Done with meds, kind of done in general I can't get a proper pdoc; my current meds give me shitty blood pressure issues. I wish I could get some proper help, but it seems unlikely. I would have to try to kill myself and fail. Idk if there's another option other than trying and not failing, then help is irrelevant",3.61,5.3325290322580665,4.852451612903226,82.35867741935486,73.19354838709677,7.540645161290323,23.690322580645162,8.238735603445708,1.4321509677419362,248,7,47,4,5,82,52,62,0.228,0.625,0.147,-0.7904,1,0,0,0,0,1,7.0,0,0,0,2,1,5,1,1,1,0,7,1,1,0,0,13,12,5,1,4,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,0,7,1,6,8,1,3,0,2,0,0,3,1,0,4,2,31,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2207291576256966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16806830455285374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4308322008620786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2199566722205777,0.20193220244183555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28218941213447835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21970885699338155,0.0,0.0,0.23288870121834698,0.21920490045005933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4676393842269856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19163264314457135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.285833376919004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2420663155008036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.149534213085506,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,deviantsibling,2020/03/03,"Therapist/psychologist says there’s a possibility I may be bipolar, any of this sound familiar? I mentioned how I will go through phases or “good streaks” where I am super productive, motivated, and hardworking and they last like 1-2 weeks. A lot of times it’s because I’m inspired by a new project or idea or something so I’ll work on it for 24-48 hours straight, maybe sleep only every other night, then after that phase of motivation is over I never really touch that project again and go back to my depressed lazy self. I feel like I run off of pure motivation which is why school can be difficult for me because I find it hard to do unless I’m in these charged motivational phases. When I’m not in these phases I’m just depressed really. I go through the opposite thing where I feel a lot less motivation and energy than usual for a week or two, but I figured that was just the depression. I also bounce between feeling above intelligent and below intelligent a lot. And I think I’m super introverted and get exhausted from talking to like 1 person but during these good phases I am a lot more social and willing to talk to multiple people. I always just figured this was my personality + depression and it was normal?

I have ocd, adhd, anxiety and depression already, he said that if I do have it it’s more on the minor side since the biggest issue for me rn is the ocd",5.731718612818263,6.3902884888059726,7.025399473222122,72.77262949956103,67.09701492537314,10.186479367866554,32.928884986830546,10.194018383442646,3.399590166812993,1097,46,202,26,17,374,154,268,0.11199999999999999,0.7340000000000001,0.154,0.8261,0,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,1,8,12,15,0,0,12,0,18,3,1,6,2,45,32,23,0,2,12,0,5,3,0,3,2,3,0,3,18,10,0,0,14,0,0,4,2,7,0,1,4,8,22,8,28,23,7,30,0,5,0,0,11,12,0,10,17,138,40,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310464842364958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203298150242698,0.08720030922328235,0.09073111857590133,0.0,0.0,0.07415184105060782,0.0,0.08341631613799394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08384604918292646,0.0,0.1329411608194669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4695856726864727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09187202029706136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16540371266348164,0.07789914527540898,0.0,0.0,0.09966179676140502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05696959246176605,0.0,0.18591209573428555,0.18291738209067213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09767961043950338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107383741674305,0.0,0.0,0.12309438480398095,0.0,0.11381081480084695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08888323446272132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15981625237745306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3708121449631211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10954666838950118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08409939300464406,0.10531279239193453,0.0,0.1023278980432089,0.10683734807975727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08293084221935637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07559552605284661,0.1904213603594341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12292771161009147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13970933154373025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10372327149607703,0.08671403924897783,0.0,0.11035564362471227,0.0,0.0,0.11375388433014913,0.0,0.0,0.0902001118932522,0.0,0.1091200746126488,0.11115390023515404,0.0,0.08394534024053467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17528657528902175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12660538415998807,0.07244221197501388,0.06986927897860468,0.0,0.0,0.06358287423567174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10651753144225842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12009361564484285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17493274932619496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09839283666612596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07938338420113385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hiddenwater39,2020/03/03,"Mood (management) Hi all, 

26 years old: was in the hospital due to a breakdown last August. Was my second hospitalization. During the first hospitalization I was diagnosed with bi-polar 1. 

I'm an artist/academic, hold a part time gig at a bar once or twice a week. 

The paranoia, psychosis, delusion is... gone. Has been now for moves but... I don't know if it's gone, or if I am just able to see it and identify it as thought behavior I shouldn't engage in. I've held down a steady job since September. 

Regardless, it feels as though the mania and delusion persists, but there's an element of softening and recognition, yet it does flare up and I can get caught in it. The medication I'm on is great: fully functional, stable in the practical and safe ways. Yet the hyperactive analytic and associative part of my brain is still there, and it is still powerful. It seems as though mood management is being sure I'm one step ahead of it. 

​

Does anyone feel this way?",3.4123624288425063,5.678240381720427,4.7275964579380165,80.65551233396587,75.29032258064517,8.89259962049336,26.53257432005061,9.478462496947786,2.5593109424414937,765,29,148,21,17,253,120,186,0.017,0.877,0.107,0.9604,2,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,0,0,0,4,10,6,0,0,14,0,15,4,1,0,2,27,29,18,0,4,7,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,10,8,1,3,5,1,0,5,2,0,0,4,9,3,7,4,19,18,3,29,0,0,1,0,1,8,0,5,14,95,17,3,0.1587739405280841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17203149822712746,0.19292771641543432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110184308952323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17724422732412418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16115220747081332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2778882906296608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605617499082551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13505303270348326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0829528307731949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17504882995346244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15755863675319426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08725800541696999,0.1294219528059401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15994804121631984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16875157163128526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16660654193263102,0.1690890648415578,0.10758933120370774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34387341036872193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12652227406950536,0.14454183232459822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13133944432946082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2535941480047761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14964255993531547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31198918085903043,0.12604877355804053,0.0925823615481329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25205472734516765,0.12735887799517293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19292771641543432,0.102245212091966
bipolarreddit,LewisEthridge01,2020/03/03,Bipolar awareness ribbon I was trying to find images of a bipolar awareness ribbon and a mental health awareness ribbon. I found a green one for mental health awareness and a black and white striped ribbon for bipolar awareness on a website where people were selling pins with the ribbon. It is the only one I found.,9.306315789473684,9.152877877192985,7.967368421052632,71.78157894736844,59.70175438596491,7.6,38.29824561403509,3.1291,2.739519298245614,257,11,36,0,3,78,33,57,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,0,3,5,0,0,0,7,5,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,4,3,3,0,6,1,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,26,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21796894988419524,0.0,0.0,0.5229681404816255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5069921083315619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4806691218092018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3232042214253271,0.18137690849424093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1653339390331297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16191416021450866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,zbuteux1,2020/03/03,"Girlfriend with BPD1, currently in a mixed episode with severe lows and highs. Hi all, 
My girlfriend struggles with a myriad of mental illness, Bipolar being the main focus. When we started dating, it was extremely good for several months. As it goes, she is in a mixed episode (idk it's what her psychiatrist said) meaning she's going from extreme depression to highs very quickly. This has been extremely hard for me because I feel very helpless. I try to help by offering to go on a walk, making dinner, offering to do assignments for her, pretty much anything I can, I offer. However, for the most part she does not accept. This is when I feel helpless because of course I want her to be better but I'm not sure what to do. I will stick through this with her and I want her to feel as good as possible.

I guess I have two main questions. The first: What are some things I can do (with a college student budget) to help her? What did your SO do? What did you do to get better when you didn't want to do anything?

The second question: Sometimes I get angry when my help is rejected constantly (this goes into the helplessness aspect) I absolutely know how not good this is but I'm certainly not perfect and I am exhausted. So, did your SO experience this? How did they figure this out?

Please help",3.0703915662650587,5.457160461847393,4.094804216867473,84.1838930722892,76.91164658634538,7.202208835341367,27.24246987951807,8.212053250817874,2.0287361445783136,1021,42,190,19,24,330,134,249,0.142,0.706,0.153,0.6142,2,1,0,0,0,0,35.0,1,4,1,4,10,17,0,1,10,0,26,4,0,3,4,39,44,17,0,3,6,0,4,0,2,1,3,1,0,0,16,11,1,0,9,0,1,3,5,8,0,3,8,5,32,9,32,33,7,22,0,6,0,0,28,8,0,5,11,145,48,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005064815916228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.148529217076368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2154921629448707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13165170733467232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10492941672010454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10661162881478543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11917018292176595,0.0,0.0,0.1847981753130142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10362598409792813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12729915871573774,0.0,0.13847418338673384,0.30654812306567464,0.0,0.0,0.134206175570037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10913306287889413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3266322808083203,0.2574338288639823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06695293323481692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08132046860675002,0.0,0.0,0.13270531797954552,0.0,0.0,0.12277296214170345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09724114922769107,0.0,0.08955686270946339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13192676921519594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337294622105115,0.0,0.1373416378335311,0.0,0.12394185675650067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27294824318854266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11588537525133412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2752596670002628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12049001826329372,0.0,0.08622977775103335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12736003204137974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148205058843548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08093644557941546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08271253617207505,0.0,0.11900727699760955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20104006776973632,0.21557016336344934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,zeusariah,2020/03/03,"I don’t know anymore I’m just struggling. I’m not sure of what to even write and explain how or why I am struggling the way I am. It’s going to be jumbled and not make sense I’m sorry I’m not sure I can make it all make sense. My grandma died last year, I cry only twice a day now. Manic or depressed or in the in between, whatever the mood is if I think too much about her, I cry. I miss her so much. My relationships with everyone are going to shit, my manic spending is putting a huge strain on my already probably overly toxic/bordering abusive relationship that for some reason for the fucking life of me I can’t leave. We get aggressive. We fight. We’ve been together two years and I couldn’t tell you the amount of nights I’ve spent begging and crying, sometimes literally on my knees, not to leave me after I said the wrong thing again. 
I miss the coke. And the party drugs that I had when I worked at the bars and clubs. But the one good thing this relationship brings is sobriety. She hates drugs. I can’t do them with out losing her. Maybe that’s why I don’t want to lose her, I know I’ll fuck it all up again. 
My grandma left some money, enough for me to pay my debt and get back into school. I am living with my parents and it was school or work, now I’m stressed and sad and falling behind in school which makes everything a million times worse because I feel as though I’m failing my grandmother. 
I’m only 22. I’m done with it all. I haven’t been medicated in two years. I’m not sure the point of this post but I needed somewhere to let it out. I can’t afford medications. My dads job laid him off in 2008, he got his retirement this year because he turned 50. That means new insurance. Which means I am no longer covered due to new restrictions. 
I want to give up.",1.4668618618618616,3.4890610405405407,2.9291441441441464,92.36792042042043,80.48648648648648,6.057057057057057,21.8993993993994,7.1686216300943375,0.5612282282282286,1395,43,309,18,36,455,196,370,0.168,0.809,0.023,-0.9858,4,0,2,0,1,0,38.0,2,1,1,5,13,23,6,4,14,0,24,11,2,6,6,59,62,22,1,5,13,2,1,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,18,19,2,1,8,2,5,5,13,18,0,5,8,2,48,4,40,51,9,43,0,7,0,2,24,18,3,7,18,192,66,8,0.0,0.09678497173676333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09014292261779774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08101091313730505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06281176383243152,0.0,0.0995904861156179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26918587168061275,0.05268094042227881,0.0,0.07035633678463735,0.0,0.08477753857558068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08359350077769448,0.0,0.0,0.18946047328725127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08440383955764642,0.0,0.053953066246418116,0.0,0.0,0.07805481159541601,0.07341442757977709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04130307485392939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510354355223174,0.08535549670399928,0.07836099385369277,0.09284847459242576,0.06851463793875162,0.06533203928054182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08064836274542955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08106110168105074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08978536747141892,0.06658528083481763,0.0,0.17298810807579368,0.08875246235531015,0.0835298311243571,0.057697487402783215,0.0,0.0,0.07213054692047352,0.0,0.0,0.18277227056182685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21810510171967085,0.0,0.08206492172933745,0.17796077280761982,0.0,0.16458081511622547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12009773791023623,0.06056939625810748,0.0,0.15778637893419234,0.0,0.07665710940460121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05535278735726423,0.12425230590274652,0.0,0.0,0.09070302890593683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0772200076521905,0.0,0.07823294669423908,0.0,0.08807170530792645,0.0,0.0,0.08211734743631924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08398717649316954,0.0,0.2631017209738678,0.0,0.0,0.07770242839856338,0.0,0.0,0.2480128530495945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08384986825510155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08078989256875525,0.09144118525757676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09357144222585707,0.17079262588693425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23096526505996345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07139747364517382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10853756746835662,0.05234131712958564,0.08025642781048267,0.0,0.04763196977313815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08885129604791618,0.15959139623545027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963614557188466,0.06483882541622057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14741845751115462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11893727681270723,0.0,0.08324537312689508,0.0,0.08931120448184053,0.0,0.2104133344786489
bipolarreddit,nazwarren,2020/03/04,"I suffer from Borderline Personality disorder and Bipolar Depression and I feel bad because of what I put my wife through. Long story short, I suffer from Panic Disorder, Bipolar Depression, and Borderline Personality Disorder. Does anyone here, especially a sufferer, have any advice on how to cope with these intense mood swings? For example, when my wife says something so little, I just cannot think straight anymore and I end up criticizing her and being emotionally abusive (now I dont call her names, by this I mean I call her out on little things and anytime she tries to defend herself I make sure she doesn’t win the argument.) I take therapy, and medicine only made it worse. They start off by me overthinking, then her saying something so slight abt what I’m overthinking about, and then I just become intense and full of emotion and anger especially. This lasts from anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour. Then, I just notice what I’m doing, I apologize, and we talk about it. But she says she doesn’t take it to heart but I know it hurts her, and I hate hurting her. I never hit her and I would never, I just feel like such a jerk for emotionally saying the things I say but in the moment i can’t help it, so any advice?

PS: Im a 6’1, 180 Pound Male Who Doesn’t Drink, Smoke Or Do Any Drugs.",3.183533333333333,5.583803240000003,4.331700000000001,82.55968333333334,76.6,7.526666666666667,26.016666666666666,8.472884824447931,1.9778666666666664,1030,39,194,21,24,336,142,250,0.19899999999999998,0.757,0.044000000000000004,-0.9884,0,0,5,0,0,0,33.0,1,0,1,1,14,16,3,1,7,0,11,5,1,3,3,37,25,25,0,1,8,2,2,1,0,1,3,5,0,3,14,16,1,0,5,1,0,1,8,12,0,0,1,7,38,3,24,21,1,25,0,7,0,0,31,11,0,1,14,129,52,0,0.0,0.11508456462381628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898309287819248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19815759835991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09632803007414847,0.06791637907415446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08110047765709462,0.05921026544525286,0.10727375647800708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1983635882423828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16731788504125786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33396224005365754,0.0,0.08500014968002649,0.0,0.1138370189038693,0.09515157762119464,0.1126413310373647,0.0,0.0,0.3277785100989353,0.08602939491895001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09822488557660697,0.06939053399689994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09589693056299023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11510091530021145,0.06510498213864932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09565464615845314,0.0,0.2079618730024302,0.0,0.1049183415850975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05338075601830596,0.07917487516627329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04745338798711047,0.19470191814283835,0.0,0.08595803726101142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09190787051613518,0.0648358165095872,0.0,0.0,0.10580432938693192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498271070568371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11058449156915877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07387263885975394,0.0,0.1139625109865728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1696223987187756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09764366314508877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3862130622384496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495526546600244,0.0,0.0,0.06874994873633107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09154498711826256,0.0,0.14606111762308385,0.07807036276707831,0.0,0.0,0.1110779687514424,0.0,0.12905927927940136,0.0622377377975448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06594569497906358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09898496999422936,0.06899920304174559,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,spoopygorl,2020/03/04,"I’m mad I’ve been diagnosed for 2 years as BP2 but today my psychiatrist told me that she didn’t actually have BP2 as my diagnosis she wasn’t sure if it was BP2 or BP1 but was leaning towards BP2... but now she’s saying I’m BP1..... my question is why did she never tell
me any of this until now?! I don’t think she was even gonna bring it up initially, we were filling out FMLA paperwork and she had to “remember” what my diagnosis was and when I said BP2 she looked at her notes and said “well I actually have you down as BP 1 or 2” I don’t know how to feel. God damn it. Plus she doesn’t even take my insurance anymore and that seeing her cost me $230 instead of $25 like it used to. Fuck it. At least my meds work.",-0.007500000000000284,1.7824942468354443,2.8245411392405053,92.40048259493672,84.37974683544303,6.481645569620253,20.00158227848101,7.645422480735847,0.4995177215189872,553,16,136,10,16,195,96,158,0.067,0.856,0.076,0.1007,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,1,1,0,1,8,6,3,0,0,0,16,2,0,2,2,22,31,17,0,1,6,0,1,1,0,1,1,3,0,0,9,7,0,0,5,0,1,2,6,3,1,0,13,6,25,3,17,17,1,15,0,0,2,1,18,6,2,4,8,87,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.3729024033644898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12993028022163608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18948445143142864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19392624911707187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2523923448046733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09660785415248063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1766358724913224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10500394603043116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09334436907283404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1604458965951136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21222937203824616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473605718313225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2140357502811139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164386133829597,0.0,0.3634918173317467,0.15194200520362242,0.0,0.0,0.15225351501626258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18007584762242962,0.0,0.1436565801613901,0.0,0.1669986252878781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12242629269822232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18110662189782384,0.18257013263969896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16501821513755446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17178975734825852,0.0,0.17240581836810134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390970906191758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12303914902788747
bipolarreddit,snakeeater34,2020/03/04,"Never really wanted to post here, but this seems like the best place right now So I've lurked here for a while, but I never planned to post, since I really don't like talking about my illness, but today I feel like I need someplace to vent a bit in regards to recent outcomes caused by this. If it isn't okay I'm sorry, you can take it down.

So I've had bipolar for officially around 2 years, but I think I had it long before that and it just wasn't properly diagnosed. I'm 21 for the record, soon to be 22. For a while now I've pretty much always been in either an extremely depressed state, or an extremely manic state. It made it hard to focus on anything other than my head, so I unfortunately got really bad at keeping the house clean.

I'm medicated properly now, finally, but it was too late, since now my house is a mess, and there is an inspection coming in 2 days. The announcement came really suddenly (like last night), and if I don't have the place spotless by Friday, I'm getting kicked out. I'm really scared that I won't be able to do a good enough job in time. 

I'm really really sorry if this isn't appropriate for the sub. I guess I had 2 ideas with this post. 1. I just really needed to vent my frustration about how badly bipolar screwed me without family members telling me it's just because I'm lazy and exaggerating, and 2. Please, please please try your best to take care of yourself, no matter how hard it is. As much as I hate to say it, mental illness doesn't really factor into what the world considers a problem, and more often than not this happens and you get blamed for something you can't help having.

I figured I'd be safe and put a content warning tag, but if it isn't necessary please let me know. I'm sorry for venting. Please be safe all.",4.631565699144887,5.051729396121889,5.926872214862097,80.52551969167773,69.4432132963989,9.269950620257738,27.88401782488257,9.318704503766252,2.1957950379380944,1396,44,285,27,23,471,186,361,0.17800000000000002,0.664,0.157,-0.8905,1,0,1,0,0,0,41.0,0,4,0,3,21,20,3,1,17,1,26,8,1,4,3,54,54,28,0,8,17,0,3,4,0,1,6,1,1,0,20,14,0,3,6,0,0,3,14,9,0,0,9,4,25,11,38,39,9,42,0,1,0,1,8,14,1,8,24,177,45,1,0.07784476298332807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06477307881607272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0640596071316128,0.06929834310331767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12999425102631376,0.04745344498566922,0.0,0.0662401597611012,0.0,0.1633865522215683,0.0,0.08498631956094539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890336707714442,0.0793679239429924,0.07996801491073015,0.0,0.0670563704637605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050203432187683424,0.0,0.06704758029049188,0.07901079580869019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08043444937859215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07338511453419387,0.0,0.039360651137790775,0.05561231422940868,0.0,0.08527513282628191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0813413514693651,0.0,0.0,0.06529249387065156,0.06225956821220075,0.0,0.08575478272231589,0.0,0.06883786681987927,0.0,0.13946723472671302,0.07685558719497755,0.079891185035559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052177703730545734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17964480968963426,0.0,0.08787726211106106,0.0,0.0,0.07724891561697572,0.06919200209038767,0.0,0.0,0.042781445919209314,0.06345387163352435,0.08781228332440613,0.0,0.0,0.07960154429450697,0.0,0.15212407641117925,0.0,0.0,0.0688901656084121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07365859694245126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07842040902127538,0.07844921180353988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144497154519458,0.11544181076945513,0.12007736038031247,0.0,0.0,0.07305203671098881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16266241780871346,0.4272508670605063,0.0,0.0,0.22366129397412465,0.0791961096515075,0.0,0.07448692501016586,0.0,0.07825548766605261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44882413646577696,0.0,0.07686231218385542,0.0,0.0,0.06647900225120346,0.0,0.06190527998434595,0.07793618787501243,0.0,0.0,0.0708669485751918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12878798473078698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059928701695587776,0.0,0.26142251674566297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117059147726352,0.06256867177878546,0.06803975399424636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04987978088595249,0.0,0.0,0.0453919073065797,0.0,0.07378773315897093,0.0,0.0,0.05285148420123507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04591485809582964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07503957361908314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05012947512045505
bipolarreddit,breeerin,2020/03/04,"Family member recently started Seroquell and their reaction to it is concerning, can anyone tell me if they've experienced this? Hi, not sure if this is allowed. I'm not seeking medical advice or anything, I'm just really worried and this person isn't communicating with their doctor like they should. Just wondering if any of this is normal. 

A family member or mine was recently diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and has been on and off a few medications. Last week they stated seeing a doctor who has them on Depakote and Seroquell. They're fine during the day on the Depakote, but once they take the seroquel at night, things change drastically. They were told it would help them sleep, but it seems to have the opposite effect? They're restless and haven't had any meaningful sleep in 6 days. I've witnessed them falling asleep standing up, falling asleep in the bathroom, and this morning it got so bad they fell over and got (minorly) injured. So it does make them drowsy, but only in spurts. After they wake up from that, they're really restless. They told me they've only slept 1-2 hours in the last week. 

They don't seem to realize how bad it is. I've done some research and it seems like this isn't typical, but either way, I'm concerned or their safety.  They DID contact their doctor about it, and was told to take 200mg instead of 100mg, and that it would definitely make them sleep. This is what led to them getting hurt. 

Is their anything I can do? Talking to them doesn't work. Is it possible for me to contact their doctor, or is that a complete violation of privacy? I don't want information on them, I'm just worried for their safety at this point.",5.849101697461318,6.871464921135651,6.191780081117624,77.55686645636175,66.98107255520505,9.318852335887037,31.499023584197094,9.48565724429506,2.877535796905513,1328,52,241,26,21,427,155,317,0.14,0.7979999999999999,0.062,-0.978,1,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,24,2,8,10,1,2,10,0,30,16,7,6,1,50,52,25,0,8,17,0,0,2,0,3,9,0,0,1,24,13,0,0,8,0,0,4,8,6,0,0,13,2,30,4,31,36,3,34,0,1,1,0,36,15,0,12,14,159,54,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09403769537126888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13088337072461131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06728829497991776,0.0,0.15838298667116704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16070093659276116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10180166901106463,0.0,0.10089838539580363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12412454410924385,0.0,0.0,0.0976743878067788,0.0,0.0,0.11029126320347972,0.3939938841968686,0.08421407653022749,0.09847968820749282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1814396643621544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050277728675100976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15393251385457485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06450289757091636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09477004125738256,0.0,0.10301933087366916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15688534718170086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09402908730416376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12847244231903246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1938890847589159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903080761401389,0.09428782912088324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10248491877600296,0.0,0.1463789437040727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08402687360384939,0.0,0.0,0.09097121434346116,0.1084881576980065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12329854508700555,0.0,0.1900367971523675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07668517768146989,0.2628205075130383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2889072538861965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06811415587061112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09069838794586993,0.0,0.14471035855706638,0.07734837561532287,0.08411181345398999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06393287578366133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2758640362288401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0567606693470618,0.07638521238284203,0.1543844870035644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104360496391342,0.07005871166894033,0.1954584024215168,0.0,0.1367222101927117,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,tofuchocolate,2020/03/04,"Is it ok to take 2/week break from antidepressants? What do you think about not taking cymbalta on my day off? My dr prescribe me cymbalta. I’m already on topamax. I have only been on different mood stabilizer every month and trying out but I was just so depressed. Depakoto and Lamictal was shit. Topamax was only something doesn’t give me side effect too much. But I got really depressed. So I finally added antidepressants. I have been on 4 days and I don’t sleep much. But I can finally get going at work and I like it. I was literally staying on the bed while week and now I’m able to back to work active. it’s better than Zoloft which made me really hypomanic before and weird feeling. So overall I like this med and I wanna be on it.( it’s so hard for me to find med that works for me) 
but I can’t rest. I’m long sleeper and I can’t get that sleep. I’m so hyper till I try force sleep with melatonin. And still wake up middle of night. I work 4 nights a week. Do you think it’s bad idea not taking cymbalta  2/ week ?  And take them on the day I have to get through? Or I should have taking them everyday? 
I can see and contact my dr only every 5weeks.
He gave me 30 mg a day for first 3 days and 60(30 in the morning and 30 at night ) after 4th day. But there is no way I can take this before I sleep.  I am thinking to stay on 30mg for a while. But still I think I need 1-2/ week off to sleep and rest. Do you think it’s fine? Or any Ssri and Snri should be taking everyday to have effect ?",-0.10909136047666124,2.0566518710691817,2.2938099966898413,93.52218470705068,88.46540880503143,5.4857332009268465,18.116848725587552,6.950104931194217,0.10828805031446498,1157,31,264,17,38,394,150,318,0.095,0.8420000000000001,0.063,-0.9329,1,0,1,0,0,0,37.0,0,3,2,8,13,11,1,0,6,1,28,10,7,3,0,43,55,31,0,4,11,0,2,2,0,2,3,0,1,0,13,17,0,0,10,0,0,1,7,5,0,1,9,3,37,5,36,42,4,50,0,2,1,0,9,17,1,2,30,165,50,4,0.07723050541054191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08522578317870792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052519392026045095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059385491506108425,0.06448424609743639,0.0,0.0,0.13143494361773633,0.0,0.0,0.06830410596517257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2988437212169848,0.0,0.1330370422862632,0.0,0.0,0.08068944047885514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13014006346553378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03905006405261511,0.0,0.0,0.16920448735993526,0.07058728279666032,0.06569222844898498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12104925451634445,0.07408653810969637,0.043891876002506575,0.0,0.061768290317746485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0691833632306233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08718384007907423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07546184776015992,0.0,0.0,0.06834656698605493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07307737157495424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17157136227990616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061644652596694036,0.0,0.1135466154651858,0.057265441177736076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21742679276963445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17621183851372899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09895167873221307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06154271374495885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07927600397173694,0.0,0.0,0.38643140178958624,0.0,0.0,0.059455816206147184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16463488584383507,0.12335276276713918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4064741002961728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24743094717972425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10486888726047862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06130198041076021,0.3097482648403171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22489891099901846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,East-Excuse,2020/03/04,"Any advice for finishing a university degree? Hey, I have trouble keeping my mind set on goals during mood swings and have many (ambitious) projects left halfway finished. 

I'm diagnosed with bp2, and when hypomanic I start a lot of projects that are always left unfinished when the good feeling passes.

I don't know; maybe I just have problems with self-discipline. But any discipline I build vanishes into thin air once a depressive episode starts. And I have to start everything all over again.

I have dropped out twice till now, but I had a few years break and want to go back to uni now. I feel like I know a lot more about myself and I'm 100% sure of what I want to do in life. The thing is that studying is a long process, and requires continuous work.

I'm in a very stable place in general, and I'm off the meds, in accordance with my doctor. However, being productive while depressive is borderline impossible for me.

Have you been able to overcome this? How do I keep on track while in a depressive episode?",4.648670120898104,6.424433590673576,5.079813471502592,81.55978929188258,70.60621761658031,9.29174438687392,31.001381692573403,9.725611199111238,3.0243377547495687,805,35,154,20,15,256,121,193,0.067,0.845,0.08800000000000001,0.4175,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,1,0,4,9,9,0,0,11,0,16,3,0,1,2,33,32,15,0,3,3,0,3,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,12,0,4,4,0,0,2,1,5,0,1,2,3,17,3,25,29,5,38,0,3,0,0,2,16,0,2,18,99,22,7,0.14420577208283486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14091621150445932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11999075445646305,0.0,0.0,0.19612974008592005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108853374406126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3726126605644737,0.14636582315642202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14760071824854698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12960284950619047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14582954252744942,0.10302063238965292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0819554634979968,0.12095295982656648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25635343216443296,0.0,0.0,0.15850344205995984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3133599866167892,0.0,0.10185680149344477,0.07045165612476889,0.0,0.0,0.12761757040230254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2451971811552321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14620201890107404,0.14487408063036367,0.0,0.16018010391979404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14560672135901112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15357444090095104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506643391925409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13798544846835326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504380703926776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3062087631097983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359122335828598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09580390725708172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11898486441853175,0.1701126012343558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10498351955876008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09286378924938984
bipolarreddit,sabrinatheteenagewit,2020/03/04,"Anyone else browse in online stores, saving products for a future, riskier you? If I get bored or feel like I need to fill time with a shopping spree that I don’t have time for, I’ll go online and fill up shopping carts on multiple sites, so when I get “uppity” and feel like I can spend all the money I want with no consequences, I can just go at it. Honestly, I feel like I’m feeding into a self-destructive behavior. Is this just me? 😅",5.363333333333333,4.768228666666668,6.376666666666669,81.405,67.8888888888889,9.866666666666667,29.11111111111111,9.3871,2.2497111111111106,340,10,72,6,5,114,64,90,0.079,0.778,0.14300000000000002,0.6662,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,0,4,6,0,0,4,0,5,1,0,0,1,16,15,6,0,3,4,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,5,1,0,3,2,5,4,2,1,0,0,0,3,10,5,10,15,1,14,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,2,7,42,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16954232265951633,0.24844160268082774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20255455629052688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3678039554812021,0.5196669403520471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533636169608887,0.0,0.2756052774623001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3553792646371907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17979019402006946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2529515688266492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2827751840410427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430164892672903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Konokwee,2020/03/04,My friend was fired. How can I help? My friend feels so sad. The community of friends at work were his main social and friend support. He's going to need to replace that so he doesn't get stuck in his bedroom. How can I help? Just listen? Call every day? I'm across the country.,-0.4149122807017527,1.8090608421052643,0.9571929824561424,99.48035087719299,98.47368421052632,3.235087719298245,16.859649122807017,5.033348758259628,-0.8650140350877198,216,6,48,1,9,68,44,57,0.096,0.579,0.324,0.9383,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,5,6,0,0,2,0,5,0,0,2,0,6,13,5,0,1,1,0,2,0,4,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,3,3,6,5,6,10,1,5,0,1,0,0,13,3,0,0,1,27,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422012045014975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15297026150557694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19984585380886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11993222047186634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7330208056100818,0.0,0.12392387595103968,0.0,0.13480259962093238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31797176553918005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1758760627765731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2417890237403404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.269164507598528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17267977935628134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sealionpkr91,2020/03/04,"Qutting Olanzapine 2.5 MG (Zyprexa) after 2 years of use  

Hi all, long time lurker here and finally deciding to make a post to receive some additional input on something that has been troubling me for quite some time.

Two years ago, I had a psychotic episode (or 2) that had me in different hospitals for several weeks. The exact causation was not clear, but most likely it was drug-induced by THC oil (was also on Adderall for years, but do not think that was the cause).

Fast forward two years, I haven't had a single relapse or psychotic episode. The only drug I am currently taking is as prescribed by my doctor, namely, Olanzapine 2.5MG at night.

Ever since that psychotic episode, my complaint has been mental fatigue, not being able to think or express myself clearly, and not feeling any emotions. I wanted to see if the Olanzapine 2.5MG is causing this so I attempted to talk with my doctor about tapering off the drug to see if my symptoms would get better. My doc said he would not facilitate that as ""it might put you back in the hospital"". Basically, my doctor is telling me to either keep taking this drug indefinitely or fuck off and find another doctor willing to work with me.

So basically my question is - are my symptoms (mental fatigue, not thinking/expressing clearly, no emotions) a side effect of Olanzapine, a byproduct of Schiophrenia/Bipolar Disorder, or due to the possible permanent brain damage that THC oil had on me?

What would you do if your doctor wasn't willing to try new options with you?",10.75304347826087,8.733007782608697,10.3104347826087,62.10739130434784,58.1304347826087,13.257971014492753,45.10144927536232,11.855464076750405,5.501723188405798,1212,61,194,28,12,396,156,276,0.091,0.862,0.046,-0.8973,2,0,5,0,0,0,43.0,0,4,0,5,7,7,1,0,12,0,29,14,1,5,6,53,43,18,0,7,17,0,1,1,0,6,12,1,0,0,11,7,0,1,7,0,0,3,9,5,0,2,12,6,23,2,33,24,6,31,0,3,2,1,13,10,1,15,20,142,34,6,0.09114400971768187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0807936652998639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07288783164180647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06198105206929281,0.09557244118159378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07008411748893256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08060946985590339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10174685797872178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872600095060553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09522609114137977,0.10445893148315012,0.4664487802421234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4227924598581831,0.0,0.0,0.20504948656813704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08244497488267623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04608514988433349,0.0,0.0,0.0998438075617218,0.0833039736690029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08426116830899084,0.04761898324721594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08101298365135755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0445283592862997,0.0,0.0,0.0806595804654268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060839334231387036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18370344899110733,0.0966893909420386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08802745253961045,0.0,0.08553247885549872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06931912649667248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027511763175789,0.08729076677820465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916249039106741,0.10210215017034023,0.09694287347266954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0866988250097271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14525995058054833,0.0,0.0,0.10296678787005437,0.0,0.07539526669467468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07016711157410208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18946704902939548,0.13705790459146502,0.07325810253734634,0.07966388182809966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11680280238655907,0.0,0.0,0.10629361005418117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0618807997483781,0.0,0.1780689075031681,0.0,0.0,0.07871916051728296,0.0,0.0,0.05375909839135292,0.0,0.07311022687360882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06635392459438902,0.0,0.0,0.19423826836214966,0.0,0.0,0.23477501593778816
bipolarreddit,Gavin_3333,2020/03/04,"Joker   My entire family suffers from some form of this malady. My question is this. For the community that understands, obviously an extreme but does this movie not tug at many of the extremes we deal with but have no words to quantify? 

  This movie shines light at any given time to a large community that have these problems. Let me be clear.... 
I do not condone violence in any way. I would like a good conversation about what this movie highlights. Cut funding, social programs, etc",4.1922988505747085,7.090888689655171,4.72712643678161,78.38885057471266,75.89655172413794,8.004597701149425,28.05747126436781,8.841846274778883,2.6851747126436787,384,16,65,9,9,122,68,87,0.11199999999999999,0.759,0.129,0.41,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,1,0,0,0,1,5,1,0,5,0,7,0,0,0,2,14,9,2,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,9,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,3,3,0,0,1,2,6,2,11,5,3,5,0,1,1,0,5,3,0,2,2,46,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3560100546444868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2698619309335138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22906697635747575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2919303650727534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2467629939030199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21955094529980268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2676662087958431,0.0,0.1278821760319772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2653824387637693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2504679149008317,0.0,0.0,0.2932298730652795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2668302333158365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15263371893656766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2725002451402074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20777203004394185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18594601152287385,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,highkillyou,2020/03/04,"Long story short It feels like first time on the Internet as it is almost my first post ever, I was for years one of the internet's lurkers.

First of all, never have I ever been clinically diagnosed with anything and for that reason I'll just refer to my 'highs' and 'lows'. Only 'approved' diagnose for me was seasonal depression. I have been, on the other hand, observing myself since I was like 5 or 6, only few years later connecting things, then concluding. I know myself well, I really do. Never heard from any therapist, psychologist nor psychiatrist that I'm a bipolar.

But I know how it feels like being generally depressed (which would be my mid state) only to find oneself, all of a sudden, depressed beyond point where one wishes to continue his life. Do not worry, I feel quite the opposite now, matter of fact, strong enough to write this post. But then hey, wait, what depression? Exactly. Why would I be depressed when the world's so big, I'm so tough and there's so much more of everything for me. Know the feeling? Strong, powerful, sure I can do this and yeah, I've already handled that. How the hell was I not like this yesterday? Or last week? Whole last 3 months? Damn this feels fine, maybe I crossed a few lines here and there but hell it was worth it. 

No it wasn't. None of it was. Within the past few such fun days I not only totally screwed up a few things but I've still got stuff to take care of which I don't even wan't anymore. I got myself into a deep mess and I can't even swim. Life sucks in general. I remember that feeling, let it last now, I need to rest.

Then it kicks back again. And wears off. Lasts very, very much differently. Not to say what I am, I imagine being bipolar must feel pretty much alike. The ups are fun but cost greatly and the lows are well, just really low sometimes. I like the in-between, feels like I have most control of it. I can pretty much predict, point the trigger and keep in 'alive' condition without any meds other than nonprescription herb chill pills. 

Fortunately my question doesn't concern whether I am nor I am not, I just want to know.

How do you cope? And I don't mean what you're taking or how you're handling your switches but rather, how are you handling the fact you have them. Don't you feel tired of it? Just simply damn tired on your lows, knowing a high will come eventually but that doesn't really help in a long term. How do you manage a job and/or private/social life?",2.2981466836734725,4.685982143750003,3.324574829931976,88.67464285714287,79.64583333333334,6.585034013605442,22.50425170068027,7.745696148679241,1.0715233843537413,1919,61,386,32,49,614,240,480,0.099,0.755,0.146,0.9547,3,0,0,0,0,0,71.0,0,7,1,10,32,33,6,0,21,1,42,14,2,10,12,90,72,37,0,7,22,0,10,6,0,4,11,2,0,0,30,13,0,3,22,1,2,3,19,17,2,5,12,12,46,16,38,51,18,67,2,9,0,1,15,26,6,6,41,264,76,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07106771440850411,0.0,0.07831882495384761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965261196167675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07038466627328167,0.0,0.0,0.05840350470820808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05457270957912506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0723601833861037,0.0,0.0,0.061135670720698386,0.0,0.0,0.07960058212662602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04577075195165586,0.0,0.3056382833510452,0.14406917530828536,0.0,0.0741501213457452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07333254063411958,0.0,0.09375202463742344,0.1283955860966946,0.0,0.0,0.06378461598240064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3229679464610231,0.15210618054175282,0.0,0.0,0.06486667343058837,0.1811049877923418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11352479816935533,0.07824633917795733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0475707064395431,0.1499705916413407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07042827155762521,0.0630827381059925,0.0,0.0,0.19502042629086488,0.2314050089685131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07257317637670356,0.1503878269623538,0.20803856620580946,0.0,0.0,0.12561510416989768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07130041996777015,0.07730877926638012,0.07883334707125457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0566487813428202,0.0,0.2086889006833192,0.05262447461585138,0.10947520592676196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09618426245445906,0.21590812264584355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06775033589432147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13418203196914347,0.0,0.13594217448991538,0.14440707865724722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0795043326261489,0.07548693583286269,0.0,0.0,0.13639849790410086,0.07297053149725301,0.0,0.0,0.08039688458091973,0.0,0.0,0.05643939251142365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0587083656096392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07019263709653925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056677938731730236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08124539797249662,0.0,0.0,0.06688980727988522,0.0,0.10672348444673803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08240339202915606,0.09430063393343216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04138405761133847,0.1631426184336638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11711785525659366,0.04186083479199413,0.0,0.056929063550917335,0.0,0.12762381977817194,0.0,0.06404074792280354,0.0792371552132348,0.08161373275126928,0.06841400201159355,0.0,0.0,0.07207501238617584,0.0,0.10083224738380688,0.0,0.0,0.09140664975363816
bipolarreddit,PleaseGodTakeMe,2020/03/04,"I can't do it anymore I just want it to stop. I want to die. Please, lord. I would give anything to just have a normal brain. My life has already been fucked up by this fucking awful disease. I want it to end.",-1.5737142857142847,0.3722037555555602,0.5526984126984118,102.55,100.33333333333331,2.571428571428572,17.539682539682538,3.1291,-1.1203650793650797,159,5,38,0,7,52,33,45,0.276,0.6,0.124,-0.8908,0,0,0,0,0,2,7.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,1,1,6,4,1,0,0,8,12,0,1,5,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,6,0,6,10,0,3,1,0,0,2,1,1,2,0,2,25,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26513202669010594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2382725893543317,0.0,0.0,0.19771286888199965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2682087510455923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.249351141138888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21279835861011512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4442315598290632,0.0,0.23047853908586835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16970219431299485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2354030263976485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2637324780506433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20086746828562926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4251333433774604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17067325844291464,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,FastDatabase3,2020/03/04,"Long term Lithium dosage safety I'm taking the equivalent of 25-50mg of Lithium Carbonate and don't function well without it as an ""add-on"" treatment. The ""up to"" 50mg part is due to extended release being prescription-only forms of Lithium, and not wanting to titrate smaller doses, so I just take 25mg equivalent dosage twice a day.

My question is: Since this is between 1/6 and 1/3 the smallest prescription dosage (150mg)... do I really need to be worried about long-term kidney functioning? All the studies I've seen for kidney function loss were linear with dosage, and not really a concern until within prescription strength dosage.",9.106839080459773,8.72264198275862,8.429310344827588,69.06339080459772,60.206896551724135,11.1816091954023,41.74712643678161,10.504223727775694,4.677533333333334,514,26,80,10,6,162,78,116,0.057999999999999996,0.8859999999999999,0.055,0.1744,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,2,4,3,0,0,7,0,8,3,2,0,1,13,14,7,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,1,1,1,2,1,3,2,16,10,4,7,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,1,5,49,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1709626778961526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4691968927181445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19656266763339847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2870692536697884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2969641753858304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3396499797851689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21928718606440112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3986330116379624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15635837537838054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2383499184769554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2555396293652472,0.0,0.0,0.2692142165362265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,LivesWillChangeACE,2020/03/04,"FREE REIKI BRACELET! Hey today I will be giving away absolutely **FREE REIKI BRACELET**! (Limited Supply)

Comment ""**Me**"" down below if you'd like one :)

With all thats going on in the World Today I think we all could use a ""*PickMeUp*""",-0.6161461794019942,-1.3675050232558092,1.7985548172757468,87.63843023255815,145.74418604651163,4.019269102990033,17.024916943521596,5.773587663045528,0.44086843853820623,176,6,31,3,14,59,37,43,0.0,0.737,0.263,0.9103,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,1,0,1,0,3,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,1,2,9,8,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,5,6,4,2,9,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,1,3,21,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3278647903488224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2786207396049371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3347597260773508,0.19832526613491624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17048702861563236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2364682097821861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2236031490047535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6615574166210895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3013943470366708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hiLeyefe,2020/03/04,"Can you be Manic and tired? I think I’m going through a hypomanic period. I woke up at 6am and forced myself back to sleep. I woke up at 1030 and wanted to get my to do list done. Today was also my only day off so I can’t fell if the urgency was hypomania or the fact that the work week starts tomorrow? 

Anyway, I’ve been finding spiritual connections and coincidence all day. My socks match so that means I’m on the right track with everything. I fell sick from coffee so that’s punishment from God for this. I literally just talked about Nutella on a bagel and somebody posted about Nutella, I feel so IN SYNC with the world..My brain is literally automatically making connections with EVERYTHING around me..I’m not even trying to, it’s just automatic? I’m trying to turn off my thoughts but I can’t. I’m not really happy or motivated, I am sleepy but my mind won’t shut off. I find myself getting up from naps and pacing the floor trying to stay on top of my to dos, my thoughts are TOTAL CHAOS..There’s this massive urge to get things done but I end up hyper focused on a topic for 3 hours straight, ignoring bathroom/eating needs until last minute..I’m convinced I have connections with the universe that allow me powers not everyone can have. A select few of us. I feel jittery throughout my body but I still feel sleepy, I don’t WANT to sleep but my body physically feels the need. Can you be manic and tired?",1.6508141917394603,4.223012487544486,3.4782400517631835,85.29176534023509,84.26690391459077,6.537733203925375,21.326539415507387,7.793537801064563,1.1535376037959666,1123,36,221,22,33,375,157,281,0.07400000000000001,0.84,0.086,0.5013,1,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,1,2,0,4,14,4,1,0,12,0,20,8,5,3,3,47,45,21,0,5,13,0,4,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,8,12,0,1,11,1,0,3,7,2,0,0,9,4,30,2,39,33,3,38,0,0,0,0,4,20,0,3,13,141,38,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09865079079954883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10981637947902262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948560748349398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2740498658377078,0.0,0.13771033895338308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15911373673256202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2524798184823281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092601713355024,0.0,0.0,0.081477987198351,0.0,0.0,0.11787557932100327,0.2217356753441779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2494976940758699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22549725225954745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19335121852001466,0.0,0.07010821951875926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13131880536988674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12148455813452795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1005547049852436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08234362716590814,0.0,0.0,0.13437499087079718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245582362510082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829394633621056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09382068985172536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11814459256364633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07902744933836459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10534859870632962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2468977862241204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08731470429747175,0.13148513766563893,0.09851529893402318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991519377788495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08195477243440287,0.07904398144030109,0.0,0.19586781012160406,0.0,0.2835678957900068,0.11693067023841258,0.0,0.0,0.25125962837607296,0.13418004324137234,0.0,0.0,0.14838665548453192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14552161724443033,0.0,0.0989517939298816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08980740661978454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,furicrowsa,2020/03/04,"Cannabis use and bipolar disorder have a 70 percent co-occurance rate! What do you all think of that? https://www.psychiatryadvisor.com/home/bipolar-disorder-advisor/cannabis-use-in-bipolar-disorder-presents-a-treatment-challenge/  for reference if desired...

I didn't know the coccurance rate was this high! And I have professional training in addiction. 

For context: I am a mental health professional who suspects strongly that I have bipolar disorder. Family history strongly on my mom's side and noticing the exact same behavior in myself (despite having coping skill/ healthy relationship knowledge galore!). Awaiting a psychiatry appointment. Really starting to notice self medication tendencies (legal state). Find this fascinating. I'm hoping that my self medication theory pans out and getting treatment will help me reduce my use.",13.117241379310345,17.53593486206897,10.499517241379316,40.447206896551755,53.82758620689656,11.881379310344824,42.634482758620685,11.407655852321104,6.675813103448276,708,36,68,21,10,212,89,116,0.064,0.792,0.14400000000000002,0.8625,0,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,0,1,0,3,0,3,0,0,5,0,9,6,0,2,2,19,17,5,0,3,1,1,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,2,7,5,0,0,6,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,10,3,8,14,3,8,0,0,0,0,7,6,0,2,1,46,17,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1754599598246739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3689267656498492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517299434911448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14710597330034378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08409006881217977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17108300882151384,0.0,0.0,0.10788182438339727,0.1700531928266304,0.1614466196502078,0.15986030641333615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08845426505080267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32428168314178624,0.16220039376418358,0.0,0.0,0.18850344970308625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3664867513083621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10310910430946517,0.0,0.0,0.17280075820634566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33581324870437546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11392169465840983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10313067415940083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4170290401017137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MiiKeYxC,2020/03/04,My doctor made me feel like shit. I feel like shit now because I went to a check up today and my doctor refused to continue my Zoloft prescription unless I went on a mood stabilizer... he made me feel like I’m crazy or some shit. I feel like I can’t ever be happy without someone FUCKING it up.,3.954016393442622,4.42897649180328,5.639467213114753,81.79231557377051,70.96721311475409,8.067213114754097,28.364754098360656,8.07648339933343,1.8079147540983609,230,8,47,3,4,79,39,61,0.217,0.591,0.193,-0.4019,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,10,4,0,2,0,2,7,3,2,1,13,12,3,0,0,3,0,4,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,4,0,1,2,2,4,0,0,4,4,10,5,7,7,1,9,0,0,0,1,2,3,4,2,8,27,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09351680827993253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3140415791838896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387673802817762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3102731502286253,0.4383821768358916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14182430890857622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1633069178346169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2997918927235379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2903189385097873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4724169361804272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299830948844188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14541395882474284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2844236815711676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478809688456324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,devilwiththeblue,2020/03/05,Anyone on Lamotrigine? Wondering if it noticeably impacted your sex drive and caused Ed? If so is there a fix or a recommended alternate medication?,5.5330666666666675,9.107201240000002,7.956000000000002,52.86466666666666,76.6,14.533333333333335,36.333333333333336,11.855464076750405,7.344333333333335,121,7,17,7,3,43,23,25,0.0,0.904,0.096,0.327,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,1,0,6,2,5,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,4,0,12,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3117280392768729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4579804307813721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4491172220006677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5075695612930895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4834732835442396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,anonymous-confused,2020/03/05,"I can’t tell if I’m having a hypomanic episode or if my meds and therapy are working well? 
I have a diagnosis of clinical depression and anxiety but due to past behavior my therapist mentioned the possibility of bipolar II. As of now I do not have a definitive diagnosis because for the last several months (since seeing this therapist) I was in a very severe depressive state. 

I realized this week how how incredibly different I feel compared to even a few weeks ago. I used to sleep upwards of 16 hours a day, had great difficulty getting out of bed, missed classes, ate too much, constantly tired and groggy and avoided pretty much everyone. Now I’m sleeping about 3-6 hours a night and I feel great, I’ve been going to class, working out, hanging out with friends, doing projects in my apartment, working ahead in my classes - it’s just bizarre how great I feel. 

I know I need to speak to my therapist about this but I don’t have an appointment for a couple weeks. I’m wondering if this is behavior I should be worried about or if this is just a good sign that my new medications are working well? I’m not doing anything self destructive or dangerous (although I have in the past - drug abuse, hanging out with strangers etc), and I don’t feel out of control but I’m worried that I could be heading in a bad direction an not realize it? Should I see my therapist sooner or is this nothing to be concerned about?
Any advice would be great <3",6.230283537875582,6.7130265395683475,7.044481591197634,73.68352729581042,65.97841726618705,10.857723233178165,37.93567498942023,10.718039707386858,4.252952771900127,1150,60,212,30,17,383,147,278,0.174,0.6990000000000001,0.127,-0.9156,1,1,1,0,1,0,30.0,0,0,0,6,15,15,2,1,15,0,27,9,3,5,0,49,46,22,0,9,16,0,4,0,1,3,5,1,1,1,10,13,1,2,8,0,0,3,6,7,2,0,4,7,24,8,33,34,4,33,0,3,2,0,5,11,0,9,18,145,34,8,0.0,0.10498106593420742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08658265040124644,0.07854196120857072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06025365193205313,0.0,0.06778169775451033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07291341365988377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0739805083335496,0.054012080603584665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957492777263314,0.0993767446177,0.0707429592706235,0.09803846755549794,0.0,0.05714214904137405,0.0,0.15262872114001447,0.0,0.0,0.0925721580857982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027523285959696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09881670686551933,0.0585220029858873,0.0,0.0,0.0846647694940427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17920306207534245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06845510969312207,0.0,0.046291851237509264,0.0,0.05035560613474639,0.07431670014296551,0.0,0.3907442010103999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09093310563563199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17451387591547987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04869435519431856,0.07222395824611802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09841889581656807,0.08925905072439642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07072274254796318,0.0,0.13026803971586615,0.06569862725653115,0.0,0.08557414417324412,0.0,0.08314870493136041,0.0,0.08501777749260189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691647887002396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09988752056881724,0.0,0.09014196249143466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14121158337491027,0.0,0.09243313254582576,0.2001942461366352,0.0,0.0732940149461564,0.0,0.17733566426281774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07744366458736841,0.0,0.1013262169383903,0.4115035657546772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10183708394591033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07652527247987231,0.0,0.07310745022877252,0.0,0.0,0.21321797625140526,0.0,0.15933099239218276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960870886837237,0.25801861332500825,0.1799630080047546,0.0,0.06294162825059013,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,question-321,2020/03/05,"At what point did you realize you were bipolar (vs. is it what you thought it was)? For context, having been told what I thought was a mix of anxiety & depression was likely to be a form of bipolar disorder (which would also explain the psychotic symptoms and being able to venture in & out of certain states). New to this so interested in hearing about any experiences",7.536739130434783,7.878130463768116,7.7259057971014515,70.39581521739133,63.20289855072463,10.957971014492754,41.88768115942029,10.686352973137794,4.798185507246377,298,17,50,7,4,97,53,69,0.10800000000000001,0.8170000000000001,0.075,-0.363,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,3,0,0,3,4,0,0,3,0,11,3,0,0,1,9,16,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,3,1,0,0,7,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,9,1,4,3,12,4,1,7,0,1,0,0,6,5,0,0,2,41,11,0,0.23094187257864285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18468413206414025,0.0,0.5004508449049286,0.0,0.15704839268773071,0.0,0.1766699004069593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19890989644954424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2646793938406553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22590546565289335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.260288274740183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11282653361735595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22304509962634864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2183147165968442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24003703167290824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36668410073989705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22067485604541925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1640544802338426,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,redditrabbit0127,2020/03/05,"Bipolar is a monster I have tried everything, I see a psychiatrist and take my meds as prescribed, I see my counselor, I have called a suicide hotline once and a bipolar hotline twice, I am a mess, I cant get my bipolar under control, I'm up then I'm down then repeat. I have chased my family away, I have ZERO support system and I dont know who to turn to. I am not me anymore, I am so broken. My meds have changed so much but they are not right and I fear they will never be right and I am unfixable. Like something snapped inside me and sent me off the rails spiraling down, now I'm screwed, I will never find myself again.",1.6310512820512848,3.494888900000003,3.430384615384618,89.76378205128206,79.23076923076924,5.871794871794872,26.21794871794872,6.816661863887847,1.085102564102565,487,20,103,5,12,163,75,130,0.095,0.833,0.07200000000000001,-0.4125,0,0,1,0,0,1,15.0,0,0,2,1,4,5,1,1,6,0,16,4,0,1,2,14,27,12,1,0,3,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,0,1,6,0,1,2,0,0,1,6,3,0,2,1,2,25,2,9,23,1,17,0,0,2,1,5,8,1,0,8,77,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17810879580243474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16873429122581132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18338535421987406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18998643190784395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20142972295555284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2104826013684718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614073312393987,0.0,0.16930505547495445,0.2020929601500072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16414548372757687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09383035040785946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098700058187898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08774046126163013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39897646062339975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320221106601649,0.0,0.27702762732627817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912615405205367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3067442555755701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28622602024998234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13826008488936592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19644647290571668,0.2038009211018141,0.0,0.0,0.13503219028449134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12193240443134334,0.19534648767330792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,periodization,2020/03/05,"hypomania creatine monohydrate hey guys 

ive been taking creatine 5 gram a day during a a whole month 

for couples of day i feel hypo again like i dont take lithim at all 

anyone knows something about that ? i read in some resources it potential cause hypo 

​

tahnk you",2.482939560439561,5.4318077884615406,3.645604395604393,82.15653846153847,86.5,6.817582417582417,24.736263736263727,7.957251820313856,2.082826373626373,223,9,38,5,7,72,44,52,0.0,0.8909999999999999,0.109,0.4404,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,1,1,5,7,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,5,1,5,6,3,6,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,5,21,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25939485874150137,0.29090287687217603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16739731093750862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2459345420214538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.264896712599062,0.0,0.30879241198536594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2805804889692921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12105019390621265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23704826136908186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13157054505981694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11696102843238132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19109052266999305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.239469455213165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184305410380608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36000503348294544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2672867632041209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29090287687217603,0.0
bipolarreddit,Sociofunetic,2020/03/05,I need to rant. I was with my ex girlfriend for almost 2 years. That represents the second longest relationship I've had in my entire life. I found it on a long enough timeline most people don't like me so it was a surprise it lasted this long. Last Sunday my sister who is typically supportive and very understanding of the condition knowing that I was in stable decided to let me have it unfortunately I was at my girlfriend's house at the time. Well this was the first and I guess the last time that she got the saw the anger don't really know where to go from there I'm depressed as fuck but I was already depressed everybody around me tells me that I'm acting manically I've relapsed a couple of times and yeah I'm not really sure where to go from here I mean there'll always be somebody else and I do fully understand that play the two years I guess I thought I was understood. As a rule we are not normal people and I never made any attempt to hide that like yeah I have an anger problem I grew up in an abusive household I got my ass kicked by my ex-wife all the time like I don't understand the difference between this and telling my sister off and she was being a bitch. Do tomine self-imposed isolation I have no friends and I have nobody to tell so I'm just posting here in the offhand chance that somebody reads it. Please excuse issues with spelling and grammar. I'm headed towards a diagnosis of Parkinson's and I have to use talk-to-text or I can't use my phone at all.,1.7557611386138596,4.108734537953797,3.3298752062706285,88.05392172029705,81.50825082508251,6.163737623762376,23.660169141914192,7.413659706084162,1.1082080033003296,1187,43,240,18,32,391,160,303,0.185,0.73,0.085,-0.9876,0,1,0,0,0,0,14.0,1,0,0,2,10,16,4,0,19,2,25,4,2,3,4,43,52,16,0,3,5,3,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,0,16,14,0,0,10,2,0,4,8,7,1,3,16,1,36,9,31,33,4,33,0,2,1,2,16,14,3,5,17,159,52,1,0.0,0.1257140730649511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062462939551681,0.0,0.11708671043561986,0.0,0.08828575200629844,0.0,0.0,0.07215331578137539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944536904141842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11740036132964947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.182771798232939,0.0,0.0,0.11085449496837498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08863499617728023,0.0,0.0,0.1096322111037196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09025070399351304,0.0,0.1163358782536398,0.08197450259291238,0.09809002077456354,0.0,0.0,0.12060095394384222,0.0,0.16971967056899104,0.0,0.23376765839013186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088917414218772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12242800101036905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11074340897425136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11662228178528278,0.2594630150645271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084969608880068,0.07494331007034244,0.15550891739716058,0.0,0.0,0.18779468840279726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10039671946517843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11557669126711287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07867363465685029,0.08183276334763821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10395788970340417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14711618176081742,0.0,0.0,0.11646864649089368,0.0,0.0,0.10161683369144614,0.0,0.0,0.10152573120435733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10613117955900006,0.0,0.13594391418548613,0.0,0.0,0.11391434152257472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11068801288196768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204038218680108,0.10000031921686248,0.0,0.0,0.08528114366326273,0.2782146977186006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08423350681882663,0.2474768064023028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103646692698574,0.33136922929445817,0.0,0.18327692922986874,0.0,0.08754564699706932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09539885997945144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13665301972930793
bipolarreddit,_Monkfish_,2020/03/05,"BP or PTSD? I just had my first appointment with my new doctor, and she feels pretty strongly that I have PTSD rather than bipolar disorder.  It doesn't add up to me, since I have a family history of bipolar and subjectively, the traumas I've suffered don't really seem that bad.  Still, it's really thrown me off-kilter and it's making me re-evaluate my whole life.  I called in sick yesterday because I was so depressed I didn't think I could safely drive.

Has anyone else been in this situation before?  Any advice on how to distinguish bipolar disorder from PTSD?",4.238611111111112,6.287411564814818,5.478888888888887,77.155,72.24074074074073,9.244444444444444,27.74074074074073,9.725611199111238,2.900751851851852,451,17,80,12,9,150,80,108,0.231,0.722,0.047,-0.9681,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,5,6,0,0,2,0,10,6,0,2,0,16,14,6,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,6,5,0,1,4,0,0,1,3,4,0,1,4,1,14,2,10,9,1,9,0,2,0,0,2,4,0,2,4,53,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15860132133765648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11037209842337296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11348653805518025,0.16629934611518768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13551683068786674,0.09893884412437914,0.0,0.13810851547989333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16573024955623747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12958631739339066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13979196025243476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3720282596677828,0.16612473962135926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13558393562225254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15300550697933535,0.0,0.08206563988625089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380554653112969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11463992064232087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10833899654191123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15675394868739487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16512123725546282,0.0,0.0,0.5691731061481096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20795184412595025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14775521525926602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342593182667806,0.1824361868148548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12961596419640525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10399767324635356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18120631242000207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,CCcc1492,2020/03/05,a question??? i’m 17 and i just want to know if it gets worse,-4.800000000000002,-4.078707000000001,-1.0533333333333308,111.52000000000002,119.0,2.0,11.666666666666668,3.1291,-2.2263333333333333,45,1,14,0,3,16,14,15,0.244,0.669,0.087,-0.5171,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,4,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,7,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2913206142633816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30643988276869416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6246345275961885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32888424946641703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5682374110717395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ElonMusks_SugarBaby,2020/03/06,"I hate this time of year honestly Hi, I’m 19F and I have Bipolar 1, anxiety, and complex PTSD. This time of year is always so hard for me, something with the changing seasons just messes with my head. I think I’ve either been having a mixed episode or been rapid cycling for the past few days. I feel like I’m either at 120% or 0%, like I either need to get up and go run 5 miles RIGHT NOW or I don’t have enough energy to even leave my room. I’m also on spring break right now, and even though I never hang out with people anyway I have just been feeling super lonely and disconnected from the world. I’ve cried like 15 times a day for the past week and I’m honestly just so tired and my mind feels likes it’s just screaming and shutting down. The worst part about all of this is that it’s been happening for the past 7 years, always having cycles at the same time of year, always having the same times of year be the worst, it all just feels inevitable. I don’t know what to do. I’ve been eating healthy and exercising and trying my best to get the right amount of sleep (although I’m sure all of you understand how much of a struggle that can be). I’ve been keeping up with my homework and studying for my classes and writing emails when I have to. I’m really scared how this episode might affect my grades and my friendships. I feel like I have no room to make human mistakes- every little thing can set me off into feeling dissociative and overly sensitive. Too much caffeine. Not enough caffeine. Eating too much or eating an unhealthy snack. Working out too much or not enough. I just feel so overwhelmed and tired and I have no one to talk to so I figured I’d make a random rant post here because this subreddit has always been super supportive. Everyone always says that I’m so successful because I get good grades and I have a fair amount of drive I guess, but I feel like I’m constantly on the verge of drowning and I’m just flapping my arms as hard as I can to stay afloat. Sorry for the rant, any kind words would be much appreciated.",2.467866700649928,4.5264650774818405,3.3343984962406026,90.5144485153562,77.40193704600483,5.993857525168855,22.49069708168727,6.950104931194217,0.6015946731234867,1619,48,334,17,38,514,195,413,0.09699999999999999,0.779,0.124,0.9036,0,2,1,0,0,0,35.0,0,1,0,5,27,26,1,3,18,0,31,11,3,5,5,78,63,37,1,3,18,0,10,6,0,2,4,2,3,1,13,25,4,1,13,1,0,4,7,10,0,1,7,12,32,16,45,51,23,53,0,2,0,0,7,22,0,8,29,217,45,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06059741358851362,0.3152552534885041,0.0,0.0,0.05152974594376406,0.0,0.05796783353257416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09238373782008824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07952141519084621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08016013205877645,0.0,0.0,0.08188608984399265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08323551764888833,0.0977374923632242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2326108926169937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23488816519029665,0.0,0.10009763223592273,0.0,0.06384388840752997,0.07240646703597582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3065138116939469,0.21653532041307494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11876826999093845,0.0,0.043064802012230674,0.06355665681582891,0.0,0.0,0.08347494440318913,0.0,0.06700777406469043,0.0,0.13575942116927905,0.07481233890999879,0.07776723370337149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06735249445320356,0.0,0.0789082278103733,0.041644077522275794,0.0,0.0,0.08023501363330031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22211966057792515,0.07594667421060504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10116109138729217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08038553048648465,0.07651136799597406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2785175161963837,0.05618636319672028,0.05844251867726963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05134724805829277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08205717567582282,0.21700805606398485,0.052532994417897216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07257171159806301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08857717356951211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04854354428980499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941348636449147,0.0,0.06025949388374336,0.07586421122340722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07582994086845103,0.0,0.0,0.05833546402179489,0.0,0.08482415152574818,0.0,0.08076629901585959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07921670928097094,0.0,0.0,0.08598881817595316,0.07141724517766859,0.0,0.0,0.06090524904048705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05034168708136436,0.04855369932870954,0.07444876588525594,0.0,0.2209256917506844,0.17418492971361116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05144639826807064,0.0,0.0,0.07888467316301268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060782308317003673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05516526039115936,0.0,0.0,0.053828539997828384,0.0,0.0,0.24398377651956285
bipolarreddit,S02303947,2020/03/06,"How can I remember to eat when I’m hypomanic? When I’m hypomanic, as I am now, I tend to not get hungry so I won’t eat for 12-24 hours until I feel weak and then I’m kinda forced to eat. 

Has anyone figured out a way to manage food intake when you’re hypo/manic? 

I also only *want* to eat certain times of the day. And if my hungry lines up with wanting to eat I end up getting nauseated if I try to eat anything. Anyone have anything similar?

Trying to keep this as short as possible which is hard in this state, but I hope y’all understand. I’m still in the euphoric stage of this episode so I’m grooving for now. Just gotta eat!!!",0.3969957983193275,2.33820386764706,3.2956302521008425,88.73676470588238,83.85294117647058,5.944537815126051,21.478991596638657,7.1686216300943375,0.674302100840336,490,16,108,7,14,174,87,136,0.04,0.861,0.1,0.8913,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,0,0,11,3,0,0,3,0,6,9,0,1,1,20,21,17,0,5,5,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,4,4,8,1,4,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,11,2,22,19,0,21,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,4,12,64,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09345235270225813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16342150157841442,0.0,0.19233051984747848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07536459122319387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8370337788556272,0.0,0.0,0.10350266820163408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05908758134680081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413067486420177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221083387309682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10468299353432084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11606766839943805,0.11508288664136895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10386992932996653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08887677562167808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13174132023835175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13237882454845953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933240006282122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06814160685692637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15867960929342054,0.0,0.0,0.12165466911329673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13785330447236213,0.0927574856051539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,neutral901,2020/03/06,"Is lithium carbonate worth trying? I would like to hear experiences?

Thank you!",3.924358974358977,6.318320923076925,4.253846153846155,72.2828205128205,109.0,7.887179487179487,27.41025641025641,7.793537801064563,3.5556871794871805,64,3,9,2,3,20,13,13,0.0,0.544,0.456,0.7616,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,5,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4728800809191313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5448524234051101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361758720294912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4450705958243864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32821222422520563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3434095570194182,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,beefmilk-,2020/03/06,"I want to figure shit out So I think I might have bipolar disorder type 2. Sorry I’m not sure what the correct terminology for bipolar disorder is because I’m only coming to terms with the fact that I might be bipolar and I’m only recently coming to the realization that I might have bipolar type 2??? 
For as long as I can remember I’ve exhibited symptoms of a hypomania episode, but never really had depressive episodes. I’m in my 4th year of college right now but up until like my 2nd year I had bouts of feeling like I was the most interesting, quirky, and fun person ever.  I never had a problem with approaching new people and talking up a storm with them. Most of the time, I preferred going to places where i knew there would be new people because I knew I could end up being the most interesting person in the room (this wasn’t true but at the time I was so overly arrogant in my personality). 
However, the past year I’ve reached a point in my life that I never thought I would reach. Every night I would go to bed feeling like the biggest piece of shit to exist. I hated myself and my life. Naturally, I gravitated towards weed because I thought it would help block out the self hate I was constantly spewing at myself and hopefully just make me feel a little bit better maybe help me forget I was sad. 
Soon enough, I was smoking a shit ton of weed every day and eventually that’s when the suicidal thoughts started. I would think about killing myself, my housemates finding me dead, how shocking that would be for them, who would tell my parents, how my parents would react, thinking about my funeral, who would attend and who would actually be sad that I had died. Every waking moment till the second I fell asleep I would think about dying. During this time, the only way I could get myself to do anything was taking my friend’s prescription of adderall which also did not help my case. 
I had this intense depressive episode for about 6 months. Then, I cant really pinpoint when exactly, but I kinda started to feel better. I was upset at myself for being so harsh to myself because I knew I was actually a great person I’m such a lovable person why was I so depressed for? I felt like this for a couple of weeks maybe like 2 or 3 weeks and then I was right back at feeling like I did not deserve to live because I’m just so awful. 
Now, I go in between feeling overly confident to severely depressed. I would say the thought of killing myself engulfs me entirely about 5/7 days out of the week. I can lay awake, not being able to sleep, replaying scenarios of how I would kill myself and how my housemates would find me, how I would I look in my casket if my parents did an open casket memorial. The other two days I’m either too busy or actually slightly feeling good that suicidal ideation don’t take over me and I only dwell on the idea for a short while. 
Sometimes I tell myself, I’m being overly dramatic for feeling the way I do when so many people have it so much worse than me but at the same time I think I’m allowed to feel these ways. Honestly, I don’t know anymore. I’ve spent so much time either hypomanic or depressed I don’t know how to cope. I don’t know how to deal with it anymore. Sometimes I wonder if everyone feels this way.",4.815501274426508,5.828191035825548,5.852167941093175,79.09345157179271,69.32710280373831,8.390880770320022,30.47875955819881,8.643655677312706,2.395768224299065,2583,102,484,41,44,857,266,642,0.19,0.667,0.14300000000000002,-0.9943,5,0,0,0,0,3,54.0,0,0,2,2,35,37,8,2,31,1,60,13,6,10,9,120,113,46,11,23,18,3,11,6,1,18,7,1,2,6,22,20,0,1,33,0,1,8,13,19,0,2,28,13,84,18,73,57,13,88,0,7,1,0,23,33,3,14,49,343,106,3,0.04766226414093891,0.0,0.13953448331189153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0381154954136071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09453631759077527,0.0,0.0,0.039221982299896124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0366493391083942,0.0,0.14527236917587336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08430679879969706,0.05203484802372053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08211364050426627,0.0,0.05150597520681209,0.0,0.07610887920561776,0.052737388721196383,0.0,0.09221465211051696,0.04913770148631265,0.20525719132195444,0.0,0.09893181055447997,0.0,0.10925016794086173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04221461911937671,0.04924785978389445,0.0,0.0,0.04311324663159805,0.12047253958601215,0.0455433359081246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409947284045962,0.1021497930769723,0.045763248016428976,0.0,0.08712489190019844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03682374704393125,0.0,0.024901565826233825,0.0,0.08126268926581122,0.03997684584061384,0.0,0.0525478144779588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09411323658030807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09584103292878708,0.0,0.0,0.04733938263322025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053804894744389514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15819370056005672,0.0,0.07858180168790611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0673305334067084,0.13971224847184996,0.04777010999528426,0.04208665244960754,0.04217960392074645,0.04002429783042487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03181493141762325,0.048322054950746235,0.09576630114658212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1516863907451698,0.0,0.0,0.038043564512773416,0.0,0.07007449646797967,0.0,0.11028022917262056,0.09206502341937092,0.0,0.04472780616595125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14499719849224954,0.0,0.0,0.15876991163950294,0.0,0.04549902422012757,0.09912903814980414,0.20808425314319184,0.04979692163147241,0.0,0.04505624541842085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045606349853504966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0610673337414195,0.0,0.04706073582078755,0.0,0.053992054068571216,0.08140662630834998,0.0,0.03790294546807973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04972213625256439,0.05384479195514784,0.14677388764660168,0.0,0.0,0.04769668525808839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09427839591265394,0.05335400253874222,0.06747119175056758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1042695621433683,0.0,0.04492111989310815,0.04953934199743338,0.0716721819840532,0.03830912250200915,0.08331783931702143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15270027171818776,0.0,0.15135405520535186,0.13896124755178246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04655910646784892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02811243827700841,0.1513283471171739,0.11469538005122143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04300777999624565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051687692324781036,0.0,0.0,0.04857191906075916,0.5078685742283807,0.0,0.0,0.0920788063141562
bipolarreddit,iamjustababy,2020/03/06,"DAE experience irrationally high levels of irritability? I’m really struggling with maintaining my calm during the day. From road rage to incorrect food orders or one wrong text, I feel like my fuse has gotten unreasonably short.  I have had quite the steady stream of misfortunes lately, so it may just be that I can’t catch a break- but I just really wanna stop being angry all the time. 

What are some tips/tricks to dealing with irritability and frustration?",6.88552845528455,8.852130073170734,7.15219512195122,68.1267479674797,65.34146341463415,10.832520325203252,27.081300813008127,10.864195022040775,3.3131154471544715,374,11,61,11,6,121,69,82,0.275,0.688,0.037000000000000005,-0.9673,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,3,6,2,1,4,0,8,1,0,0,1,13,11,4,0,1,4,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,3,1,1,1,0,0,1,1,4,0,1,2,1,6,2,8,6,2,11,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,3,5,38,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17328798701690604,0.2770158488586749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26283821197363616,0.0,0.0,0.1358617868563936,0.19195791136626975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32491069913138765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2838941991242748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3031030578896905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13127227476972456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18207672490331456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2857934073350502,0.0,0.0,0.3442696500288574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.224643567080886,0.0,0.28090149966990763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15667996989944735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2937790919952593,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,admitting84,2020/03/06,Pros and cons (duloxetine) Just got prescribed duloxetine and I take abilify,9.297500000000003,12.60280708333334,9.740000000000002,46.60500000000002,61.5,14.8,45.33333333333334,13.023866798666859,8.112233333333334,63,4,8,3,1,21,10,12,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7285950818897126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6849446741497616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BipolarThrowaway95,2020/03/06,"Yo Yo Medication, Lamictal and Lithium - time for a new doctor? I saw my psychiatrist today. At my last visit, I was starting to feel a bit depressed so we upped my Wellbutrin to 300 mg. That meant I'm on the following meds:

* Wellbutrin 300 mg
* Seroquel 100 mg
* Lamictal 200 mg
* Lithium 600 mg
* Intuniv 3 mg (ADHD)
* Lunesta 3 mg (sleep)

This cocktail has me feeling pretty balanced right now. I'm sleeping. I'm not impulsive. I'm productive at working, etc. I feel normal for once. However, my psychiatrist is absolutely against me being on lithium long-term. He suggested that if, at my next visit (next week), I'm feeling fine, we'll lower my lithium and raise the lamictal. I've been on lithium for 5 months now, and every time I start feeling okay, we decrease my dose and end up having to raise it again because I'm getting too hypomanic. I tried explaining that to my doctor, but he said lamictal is better for me long-term and we just need to find the right dose of it.

I honestly don't feel like lamictal is the right medication for me. I don't think it's doing anything, and when it was first introduced, it started a mixed episode that ended with me getting hospitalized. Should I find a new doctor? Do I trust his judgment? I'm not sure he understands that I understand the potential side effects of lithium (hypothyroidism, kidney issues) but welcome them if it's the price I have to pay for stability. What good is a functioning body if I feel controlled by my disease and keep experiencing episodes? I feel like the quality of my mental health needs to be balanced with my physical health. Am I out of line here?",2.387588996763757,5.127827233009711,4.140024271844663,80.66854773462785,82.49514563106797,7.316828478964402,29.295307443365694,8.344100000000001,2.7017190938511324,1281,64,229,30,36,429,162,309,0.044000000000000004,0.856,0.1,0.9492,2,0,0,0,0,0,51.0,4,0,1,5,8,11,0,0,12,1,19,13,4,2,1,44,50,14,0,7,8,0,8,2,0,2,9,1,0,0,13,13,1,2,16,1,2,3,4,1,0,1,6,11,36,10,30,40,2,36,0,1,1,0,15,13,0,3,22,133,49,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11803087968057566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808195197232314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059868688002957686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08685990086243885,0.10722128713416833,0.10909059790684414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11015230762785737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08458923618668662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3015702364622552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17397209638413424,0.0,0.10953154417863452,0.0,0.0,0.08274724374996953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3972686144533116,0.1403243237968662,0.0,0.0,0.17952667117824742,0.08353846917227714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026226861786116,0.0,0.0,0.0823749665731869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20878800758264884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10250706584286963,0.0,0.08729470298100417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08005530566968218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09596214638525624,0.0,0.0,0.17382779406332474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10909059790684414,0.19787507533655,0.09897387612137427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07839131099934894,0.0,0.0,0.14564484735597585,0.0,0.18970614282494624,0.2088976323670092,0.0,0.09622620744129633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10459181365922283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09991618482506393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25161570328943483,0.09342142255365952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1965644247898732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2085433598462985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925629741870622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06292982607308735,0.0,0.0,0.1145355805976779,0.0,0.09309281499528682,0.0,0.0,0.06667901601438109,0.0,0.0,0.20448282337347776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07877916911777097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07149898544681085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,AllThreadsAreSafe,2020/03/07,"Struggles and Triumphs with Creativity and Hypomania So firstly, I’m a creative writing major in college. It’s always been a fine line for me balancing my mental health and creativity because I have most of my best ideas while hypomanic, and I am certainly the most prolific then. I withdrew from college in 2018 and transferred to start the school year of 2019, and I struggled with finding creativity while being stable. Fortunately I have a great team of doctors, therapists, and family members who have stuck with me through it all, and I’m finally starting to put some pieces together. I’m 10,000 words into my first draft of a novel I’ve always been meaning to write and I couldn’t be more proud. Just wanted to have some people to share that with who get it. 


Thank you all so much for the support I’ve gotten as a lurker. Cheers!",6.6099999999999985,7.519367484076433,6.917713375796177,73.42943630573252,65.2420382165605,9.592101910828026,34.808280254777074,9.642632912329526,3.435390318471338,673,30,115,13,10,218,99,157,0.04,0.696,0.264,0.9887,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,6,3,12,0,2,8,0,10,2,0,0,3,30,22,15,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,14,0,0,3,2,0,1,1,2,0,2,4,0,12,10,21,15,11,13,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,4,9,84,18,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29946993532535554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10969742646614326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18884913733128206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18418909751878612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16964328317481173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19712926248930246,0.16447340393791787,0.30613515628294113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940177991730852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19839836189612306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912811844789273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20314456624561905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1960211215984864,0.0,0.0,0.18134988188412032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13228585668176848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12475646532999506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18090205266259288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18212162474021534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25474273386016194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3762510305942439,0.0,0.0,0.2042080626167541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16567616424956386,0.0,0.2089388227618728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10614069792386524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11588356572369354
bipolarreddit,aprilmay3,2020/03/07,"Plantar fasciitis has me trapped and I feel like I'm going crazy I've been doing really well for a while now, including consistently excising and losing weight. I started waking up with really bad foot pain a few weeks ago. After figuring out what it was I'm trying to do the things, but one of them is rest and I am never any good at that. I want to be outside doing something! I'm feeling super triggered. I feel like a compressed spring and I can't direct my energy at anything. Being ADHD doesn't help at all. Pain sucks.

That's all. Just needed to vent to some people who would get it.",1.3037815126050454,3.793048915966388,3.2930672268907593,86.59237394957985,85.05042016806723,5.752941176470588,20.264705882352946,7.1686216300943375,0.7646873949579835,467,14,89,7,14,157,89,119,0.20600000000000002,0.675,0.11800000000000001,-0.8845,0,1,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,2,3,10,1,0,4,0,13,5,2,1,3,20,25,6,0,3,2,0,4,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,7,6,1,0,4,0,0,1,3,5,1,1,2,4,9,5,13,20,5,14,0,1,0,0,3,5,1,1,10,62,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23388947492143225,0.0,0.17251450256497486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13234491004340992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16015160678820026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16249544063172164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2952096557974141,0.27806606627329344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10167833303581003,0.0,0.11060421983383847,0.16323387346272505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13044636808023435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19015816954954792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21772446431122305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443045962433311,0.15009912692941507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318761969575319,0.0,0.41416827670132855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349215738058364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24935077340508385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14982417624822994,0.0,0.0,0.13774953657552358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12929359394644802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321308464876918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147890008815012,0.0,0.15610845695268055,0.2369887056140129,0.17498230546299212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13824895025788114,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,fatgnuts,2020/03/07,I really need to stop lithium but I don’t see my psychiatrist for another month This is embarrassing but ever since my lithium was upped the frequent urination got worse. I sometimes I pee myself a little so I stopped drinking water during the day until I get home so if I do pee myself at least it’s at my house. I’ve tried everything but at this point I’m so dehydrated and depressed that I am willing to just quit until I can get new meds. Please somebody help me I don’t know what to do,1.9003960396039616,4.090570178217823,4.004445544554454,84.34191584158418,79.89108910891089,6.812277227722772,24.951485148514852,7.908726449838941,1.5557001980198022,392,15,78,7,10,134,69,101,0.166,0.77,0.064,-0.8845,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,5,2,0,1,3,0,9,5,3,0,1,11,16,10,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,5,1,2,2,1,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,1,16,0,10,13,1,15,0,1,1,0,1,6,0,1,9,54,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21291632415591452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13095087948023662,0.0,0.1748872382517246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19891234725279952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18367094928330466,0.0,0.0,0.182488842853768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21217118130894685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16239816399341042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13610057908452086,0.0,0.20367637042865253,0.0,0.0,0.23429320265366954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11159133398714248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20351010734995814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255435117660997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16207310175199238,0.0,0.0,0.15055949354753434,0.0,0.19610759532584465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2228886526765916,0.19194850802717567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21596937378311834,0.0,0.0,0.13007945393593234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1618050891151486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16796560645430694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20082229740375426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33951889205048696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13785807137874334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20692597239621985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,vvvthrifty,2020/03/07,"lamictal and marijuana, burning face rash?? I genuinely don’t know what to do.

I am BP2 and I’ve been on it since January and increased to 100mg 2 weeks ago, missing 2 doses within the last 2 weeks. Before that I was on Sertraline, was misdiagnosed and it induced hypomania. 

Last night I took 100mg per usual and smoked weed afterwards, a strain I’ve been smoking for a week now. A few hours later my face was really hot and flushed and felt like it was burning, I took a cold shower, no resolve, and went to the ER, they gave me a steroid shot and told me to talk to my psych before discontinuing. 

Wellllll, my psych is only in office on Thursdays and my peer advocate said they can’t do anything at all til Tuesday so wtf am I supposed to do?? 

I know y’all can’t technically give me medical advice, but has anyone maybe experienced this face rash or had a weird experience with lamictal and mj?? I’m terrified to come off of these meds, for the first time ever I finally feel a sense of normalcy. I’ve considered just taking benedryl if I take Lamictal again tonight.

I’m also genuinely considering stopping Lamictal and taking sertraline again until I see my psych because i CANNOT risk falling back into depression this week, I have way too much going on. 

feeling very defeated",5.738952429149798,6.563777133603242,7.007952935222673,72.31492535425103,67.13765182186235,10.709412955465588,34.06098178137652,10.686352973137794,3.865947570850203,1020,46,185,28,16,347,153,247,0.136,0.8190000000000001,0.045,-0.9749,1,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,2,3,9,8,0,2,10,0,19,7,5,1,2,29,40,19,0,1,4,0,4,1,0,0,2,1,1,0,8,15,0,1,7,0,0,7,5,6,1,1,14,8,23,2,23,26,4,43,0,3,1,0,8,9,0,2,27,112,31,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13171180309904668,0.11948009539757985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10778871147340366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09424585135008837,0.0,0.11091780095370816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10364249489553684,0.0,0.08216459639963583,0.0,0.2293867597541938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11610663075869924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11609141076699753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12192210153448532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13184705575608371,0.0,0.0,0.1363042036564519,0.0,0.12941617268780656,0.14765201712357787,0.0,0.11464932391777945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12929948802515825,0.0766022713490113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327375470496122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14815026552471525,0.21973796652012675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06584987320081097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13541115091316538,0.0,0.14971741066996475,0.13578321360384546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09908358266720343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264879950094761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10251120327268136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08634768019772388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12821282268323733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074073857671666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11149678163222132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11268754528405475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30402800989661666,0.10833627917884016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07859508924549381,0.0,0.0,0.12879427226294507,0.29950551109709234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14844828191370196,0.11121297448139587,0.0,0.10698724605411393,0.4324703848489568,0.0,0.0,0.1249484313709642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,pennybeagle,2020/03/07,"Viewing bipolar on spectrum(s), rather than as a four-faceted categorical disorder. Long post including factors leading up to my diagnosis. I don’t mean for it to be an attention-seeking post, I just hope y’all can gather insight from it and So my psychiatrist has emphasized something really interesting to me that she uses in practice to employ a more personalized methodology to treat her bipolar patients. I thought would be helpful or beneficial to share.

I studied psychology academically for 8 years and it wasn’t until I took a clinical course on abnormal child & adolescent psych that it occurred to me I might have bipolar disorder. 

I am now 27 years old. This was about a year ago.

I remembered that during my early teenage years, I had a psychiatrist that put me on a mood stabilizer suspecting I had early-onset bipolar. It made me feel like a zombie and made me very sick, so my parents labeled that psychiatrist a quack, discontinued the medication, and went back to my old psychiatrist.

Prior to being diagnosed with bipolar, I had been diagnosed with PTSD, persistent major depression at age 10 w/ anxious features designator applied at age 24, ADHD, and an adjustment disorder (which I wasn’t aware of until recently).

Of course, a lot of these symptoms of bipolar share overlapping features, which is why it’s so difficult to correctly diagnose immediately unless someone is displaying extreme psychotic symptoms.

When I was first diagnosed, my psychiatrist looked at my chart and reviewed my psych/medical history and agreed with me. I’d done my research and decided lamictal would be the best addition to my existing medication regimen. Again, she agreed.

As I’ve returned for subsequent appointments, the diagnosis became slightly muddied by the fact that I’d experienced a manic episode back in my teens and again with delusions when I was 25 (although that was subsequent to a miscarriage and discontinuation of vyvanse), which persisted for a good 6 months. 

When I asked why she did not amend my diagnosis to bipolar I, she explained that for patients who have existing psychiatric conditions, she prefers to treat bipolar on a spectrum in order to find the best method of treatment for each patient.

Even with medication and appropriate therapy, she says placement on the spectrum can change, but for the most part, my symptoms are most consistent with bipolar II, in that I most frequently experience and rapidly cycle between severe depression and hypomanic episodes. But since I’ve only had two true manic episodes that I can recall, which were precipitated by extremely stressful circumstances, and a couple of episodes of dysphoric mania, she places me somewhere between bipolar I and II when evaluating me even though I am formally diagnosed with bipolar II. 

I think this makes a ton of sense. My bipolar has interfered with my life and function greatly, but I have never been hospitalized as a result. I’ve never experienced severe psychosis or convinced myself I am Jesus. My medication regimen was easily implemented, I am extremely compliant with it, and it is extremely effective in maintaining my emotional stability. But, like I said, I have experienced mania and have not had my formal diagnosis very long, so the possibility exists that the severity of the bipolar can increase. So with that said, she views me as “moderate” on the bipolar spectrum. 

Can anyone relate to how the spectrum would apply to them?

Do you think this provides a better method for diagnosis and treatment than the current categorical diagnosis under the DSM V? As far as  ICD 10 I think it can be modified to 5 categories for applicable billing and insurance purposes, as well as for academic research.

Thanks for reading my novel lol!!!! All comments welcome.",9.897672162115748,10.443586477588877,10.003710716125713,55.3514633779839,58.258114374034,13.742211918255196,46.41117121758544,12.931820455737446,6.815396050145974,3069,184,430,106,36,1019,310,647,0.049,0.845,0.106,0.9857,3,0,4,0,0,0,78.0,0,2,1,8,22,23,0,1,33,1,49,29,0,8,6,82,68,49,0,6,11,1,1,2,0,4,29,3,0,2,30,32,0,0,17,2,1,5,7,4,1,2,24,10,68,18,84,35,13,59,1,2,3,0,27,19,0,8,34,329,98,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09002367698469026,0.0,0.0664005503424246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08116172089360249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08462360701408624,0.0,0.05237672749015036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07002794856106502,0.0,0.0,0.11519774364132247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572205844773598,0.06624916868639809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07924169095719202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0828831888107046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290346067988368,0.3801452239538654,0.0,0.0,0.25754979104807896,0.0,0.0,0.07665588486226689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0842603111581994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09895075563709994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07327343549651731,0.0,0.0,0.037875238158529535,0.05351358743055738,0.0,0.0,0.0684636558671136,0.06371586982078742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06282845135508751,0.0,0.08258524994461902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050208594071305714,0.0,0.0,0.07439956896072827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05290904089483961,0.07319156895486198,0.0,0.0,0.1325807045246762,0.06290302789985623,0.0,0.0,0.06368326658027097,0.0,0.14175766004744322,0.05000101506024405,0.0,0.0,0.08159570052353288,0.08320480856035391,0.3018437533233159,0.0,0.0794645068644512,0.0,0.0,0.05979006577694065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11554581772366433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15720462583580752,0.0,0.0,0.056970161355496186,0.0,0.0,0.08317537698250853,0.08111699904580744,0.0,0.0,0.06540591735771617,0.07826188891514681,0.0,0.0,0.08444640592175531,0.14348043085736292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08756229354400558,0.07530224086455428,0.0,0.0,0.0749272872286283,0.0,0.047987352762330335,0.0,0.07396164177232582,0.0,0.08485504724742922,0.0,0.1425074521206836,0.059569065930070275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2538708210422587,0.0,0.0619638579727699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06346847185072227,0.05766708079360445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0858057341172569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2335712140416075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06896431655811648,0.0856627013801997,0.0,0.0,0.1439921743472019,0.07359576321678331,0.059467803768074014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0832244513249649,0.0,0.0,0.0731732705355093,0.0,0.0,0.06469561148688294,0.0,0.12361226673296227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0673504036482547,0.06943955459565819,0.13518386238662464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15963538563249247,0.0,0.0,0.1929506503642545
bipolarreddit,LexaOliver,2020/03/07,"Change lifestyle So I need some advice or I don't know what. First I was fine and stable since 4 months. 
I change my habits for only 5 days because I went to my old town, saw my psychiatrist, old friends, had an appointment with my tattooist friend, meet some new people and other stuff like that. I tried to take my medication and eat correctly , go to sleep at the same hours, had exercices... But after 3 days I felt change in my mood, I was exhausted, angry and sad at the same time. I tried to control myself because I was host at my best friend house and I didn't want all attention on me. The next day anxiety hit me hard, I moved for my friend's to escape and spend hours alone in a park to calm me down. It was hard, I distracted myself by drawing and focus on music. When I came back, I faked smile and pretend to be OK. Before I go to sleep my best friend came to me, smiled and wished me a good night with a kiss on my cheek. I thought I was going to die. My heart fall in piece because I know she know that I'm not OK, and it was her way of supporting me. On Monday morning I decided to go back home without telling anyone. I wasn't OK but I went to all my appointments of the day, witch was hard because I saw one of my old favorite high school headmaster who was the first to care about my mental health, and I hadn't she her since 3 years.
Since a I came back, on Monday, I feel really not OK, I'm more depressed than sad, I can't focus on drawing, reading or just watching TV. I don't have appetite and motivation to do stuff...Wednesday I called my psychiatrist, she told me to take some pills to reduce symptoms ( tercian + alprazolam), but I only took them once because I hate the feeling to be high, just like fall asleep at 2p.m and wake up a 3a.m without knowing what happened with fog in the head for the rest of the day. Plus my psychiatrist ask me to stay at my mom house for ""safety"" but she look me like I'm a dangerous explosive.

I don't know what to do. For anyone who lived the same how long I will stay in this? Will it happen every time I will go on vacation? I really don't want to come back to the ward. 

Thanks for everyone who read with piece of bad English to the end.",4.06358212341198,4.328306826754389,5.033641863278888,86.98026315789473,70.64473684210526,8.307199032062918,26.68905021173624,8.216663640201805,1.412869721718089,1707,50,382,23,29,560,209,456,0.10099999999999999,0.759,0.14,0.9316,0,1,0,0,1,0,57.0,0,0,1,6,10,32,2,1,19,4,26,14,7,3,3,61,68,23,1,4,12,1,6,3,5,3,5,0,1,0,14,22,1,1,12,4,1,15,12,10,0,3,24,10,70,21,63,38,14,69,0,3,4,1,21,22,0,5,32,239,84,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06673261296658119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07072828500687951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05224198822174665,0.0,0.0,0.095500506011931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06384232886463585,0.0,0.0,0.21004448609829365,0.05701965239935215,0.20814604621914612,0.0,0.0581101218651738,0.0,0.1433331757496969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06973215927341357,0.2343181603407281,0.06962663962687975,0.0,0.21672664405415595,0.05882615430788304,0.0,0.0,0.07659351851345365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2202083730623368,0.0,0.0588184430034161,0.0,0.0708746795038727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06987815351950487,0.0,0.0,0.06048504689634219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05753762842184621,0.06525442762918036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06905938157633422,0.0,0.06556951738863667,0.0,0.0,0.11617560127290905,0.0,0.0,0.26380506484646793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19405511146371973,0.05727876849011995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1207779946264818,0.0,0.18352442163629892,0.06742265649761152,0.07008567785936609,0.07258952839279606,0.0,0.0809244824551437,0.0,0.14430516687782302,0.0685008643567063,0.0,0.13450462517370615,0.15759596325190167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18765315821245132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10008975654756573,0.0,0.06030169643189124,0.06043487716899616,0.05734675763437656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06879541869129285,0.06882068634151416,0.0,0.0,0.07998092042347507,0.05450876572288955,0.07258191433233657,0.0,0.050636484848039016,0.0,0.06595531802959577,0.0726276417475285,0.06408593776169567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21497794011986301,0.07272707388871258,0.04627535936413861,0.10387589102534864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04734398214297035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366178107591952,0.0,0.08749718988910479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06911355597276961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1694716358127884,0.0,0.1366794870979352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14557701348385152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15635239661539632,0.0,0.07749516503537637,0.0,0.07097989953327177,0.10269180153466788,0.0,0.05968884149044468,0.0628726482511308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05421496935196343,0.07964139201327823,0.0,0.0,0.06525442762918036,0.0758731749286371,0.09272943177569476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08055892404225888,0.05420576072381815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266118163334192,0.0,0.0,0.0785306185385979,0.1316590655409709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04397679472381776
bipolarreddit,Exoen,2020/03/07,"Consecutive Nightmares Has anyone also have nightmares that never go away? I am diagnosed with bipolar 2 but never PTSD, and I fall asleep quit easily. But when it gets bad I could wake up every half an hour scared and crying, a I wake up feeling as if I haven't slept on weeks. Sometimes I remember the nightmare sometimes I don't, but for more than a year now I've had nightmares every single day, even from ten minute naps on public transportation.
I didn't know that adults grew out of nightmares because I've always had it regularly for most of my life. I want it to stop. Klonopin helps a little but it doesn't cure it. I'm 22 and my family is strongly against benzos. It doesn't help.
My psychiatrist and therapist couldn't do much about it either, and there's not much information about it online. People often tall about insomnia in depression but I have no trouble falling asleep. Sometimes binge drinking helps a little but not always. I'm desperate.",4.975222482435593,6.740305573770495,5.370152224824358,79.84290983606556,69.76502732240435,8.070101483216236,28.371975019516,8.634040054169528,2.221581108508978,772,28,137,13,14,246,115,183,0.166,0.738,0.095,-0.9481,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,2,9,5,0,1,6,0,15,10,5,0,2,29,23,15,0,4,10,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,10,7,1,1,4,2,0,5,11,4,0,2,4,1,13,1,20,17,6,24,0,1,0,0,6,10,0,3,9,95,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11572728842964868,0.2408263553766043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10118700440333843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13596304378033075,0.0,0.12082968058178167,0.08821597193498833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11554190914099252,0.0,0.15896092239108206,0.0933281991696543,0.0,0.12464147677794768,0.14688109889019502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417640815807919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09558186456234584,0.0,0.24385463506346844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364229553017573,0.0,0.07317146515206265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07560680136650291,0.0,0.08224398482544837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2909951121135264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14251359147794315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07953072392714433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10221538478152024,0.0,0.29008177581061795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2127620637305742,0.0,0.2232238577522896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10032608055445948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16916227124097988,0.0,0.0,0.15392056022058542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16393212120947764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14488340234051214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42937588760449136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209869185488381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.168023461613109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08535573833267307,0.0,0.1160803953414121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09319071295408064
bipolarreddit,cryingwhiledoingmath,2020/03/07,"Should I tell my employer about my bipolar? Hey everyone :) I am 22F and I’ve been working as a software engineer part time for a company since last summer. Last summer I was an intern for them and they offered me a part time position during the school year. My position allows me to work remote and I rarely go into the office. 

This week I was on holiday so I was working from home but I’m in the middle of a manic that started this week. Whenever this happens I find myself wanting to quit my job even though it pays me really well. I haven’t done any productive work this week and I had to call off two days. Which is fine tbh because my job is SOOO flexible but I feel like I’m eventually going to be fired. 

Maybe this is imposter syndrome creeping up but should I tell my boss about my bipolar so that they are aware? Idk like I’m really close friends with my boss so it wouldn’t be a huge thing but could they fire me for having bipolar??",1.417209821428571,3.7781340989583367,3.094464285714285,89.16125000000002,83.01041666666666,6.365476190476191,22.684523809523807,7.62386473244151,1.131446130952381,745,26,152,13,21,246,115,192,0.049,0.815,0.136,0.9420000000000001,3,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,4,5,9,5,0,0,9,0,19,3,0,3,0,21,28,13,0,5,4,0,3,2,1,3,3,0,1,0,11,7,0,0,2,1,1,2,2,0,1,1,6,3,28,5,18,16,2,22,0,0,0,0,10,8,0,0,14,103,39,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09479945889850754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08497934732614186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14234700803440428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11130270190588508,0.0,0.0,0.08990400806790644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426586296315265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09207498697299152,0.0,0.0,0.1332064377583798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07048682018832468,0.0995902018902667,0.0,0.0,0.1274126747491832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077031374805969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15845294222044878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12327444288699875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13983351713970776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2766737981937994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272656325947308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13621144608066052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14004999390873282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3019217622884152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1482732487180321,0.0,0.0,0.17861146595643765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14108422870956489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11531637891808015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09867082554664564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436903743620066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09261378273744164,0.0,0.1369636622949046,0.0,0.16257511579893882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13617739223816733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08222405506564083,0.0,0.3354642934981235,0.0,0.12534088291921447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4059509115984725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08977156619134466
bipolarreddit,nocorianderplz,2020/03/07,"Seroquel & Hunger Symptoms Hello! I was wondering if we could start a discussion on a topic I can’t seem to be able to find any other information for regarding Seroquel and hunger. 

I have been taking Seroquel (Quetiapine) for Bipolar and Insomnia 25mg for 4 years now. A couple years ago I doubled dosage and went back to 25mg because it made me less groggy and my body eventually adjusted with no issues. Although ever since i get severely hungry within 30 minutes to an hour after taking. 

I take it at 10:20pm every night and am asleep usually before 11.30 or midnight, often the thing that can’t let me sleep is the hunger if i don’t satisfy it. And when i do satisfy the craving i will binge like crazy and pass out, literally pass out. The next morning i often forget binging and i have hangover-like symptoms that don’t fade until late afternoon. I am trying to gather information on how to avoid the hunger as it’s a symptom i don’t have regularly, and if i do binge safer ways to do so without the hangover like symptoms the next day. I’m an artist so the grogginess the next day can often debilitate my creativity, thus putting me in a emotional slump.

Any personal experiences with Seroquel and hunger would be appreciated!",5.816005319148935,7.030240948936168,6.858976063829791,72.0471875,67.17021276595744,9.789893617021278,33.836436170212764,9.978442167317967,3.5787499999999994,993,45,171,23,16,333,138,235,0.09699999999999999,0.8109999999999999,0.092,0.4912,0,1,0,0,0,0,22.0,1,0,0,0,10,3,0,1,16,0,23,14,3,3,1,37,33,21,0,5,5,0,0,2,0,2,6,0,0,1,8,15,5,1,6,1,0,4,7,1,0,0,4,0,20,2,23,23,2,33,0,0,0,0,7,7,0,9,23,118,28,0,0.11976868647427512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10616771413041834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12976932175604844,0.0,0.16289362769153484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09209472701890377,0.0,0.07300987962196116,0.0,0.10191433080902736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13303601075528795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09562555048299208,0.13252177354696096,0.0,0.15448178911937707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13472365185907528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083376338026867,0.10091028393566752,0.0,0.0,0.11715675718093513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10946640964478553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06257419541257178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179480306124834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12500739179750564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13510429509976754,0.0,0.0,0.12247159649671965,0.0,0.11702586092259858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11332802702764788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3821260704345458,0.11239479890277904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10457739733574352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204006102398214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10903291396890134,0.0,0.13530452491469985,0.0,0.09907389510697637,0.0,0.11985518198728265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08477289273253816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4979420954311056,0.2701534404951422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0795689934290069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08131507629297438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319082873588407,0.0,0.0,0.0950668085498028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11102677227277664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11545273980565755,0.12988403149123978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08508023853983565,0.0,0.0,0.1542542146376016
bipolarreddit,jovialjasmine,2020/03/07,"I went from depression to normal back to depression. No mania this time. It seems so unfair. If I’m depressed I deserve some kind of euphoria, right? I’m slipping back to depression after having almost 9 months depression free.

But I didn’t have mania and I feel like this is completely unfair. I can’t go back to being sad again. I just don’t want to be sad anymore. I wanna go and be happy and not be tired and I don’t want to snap at everyone and I don’t wanna have these negative thoughts infecting my brain.

I wanna check out. I really do.

I’ve been doing affirmations, working out, eating healthy, getting sleep (interrupted, but I do get 7-8 hours).

I really wish I could be part of one of the psilocybin trials because I have tried just about every drug available in the U.S. with terrible results and I just want out. I want a normal life like everyone else. I wanna be happy. I don’t want to live in this dark place anymore. I’m running out of options. I’ve done impatient, outpatient, residential. I have therapists, a psychiatrist, a personal trainer, great friends I see weekly and I have a caring boyfriend. I am on medication and am med compliant. I have all the tools in my arsenal and I’m using them to the best of my abilities.

I’m panicking all the time. I cry on my lunch breaks I cry when I get home. I just can’t take this anymore.

Thanks for listening to me rant. I just don’t know what else to say but thanks for listening.",1.3999816176470574,3.9194149826388913,3.6107516339869283,84.2623529411765,84.9375,7.416013071895425,24.095588235294123,8.405096225971981,1.9956573529411767,1137,45,222,29,34,388,147,288,0.152,0.649,0.19899999999999998,0.9374,0,0,1,0,0,0,41.0,0,0,1,2,12,20,0,0,9,0,30,9,2,2,2,48,59,15,0,14,10,0,1,2,1,0,5,3,1,1,7,14,2,0,4,0,2,4,11,8,0,1,5,5,35,13,35,47,5,28,0,7,1,0,6,12,0,5,13,149,42,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09606831061771624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28543492802085085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2213118034848656,0.0,0.05848307373064007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10068128650148306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10709882849822257,0.0,0.0,0.09781545152744192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1005894418585629,0.0,0.0,0.07659889522332082,0.0,0.2107673506412053,0.0,0.0,0.41315742015927615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09817815054559828,0.0,0.0,0.1112579249330792,0.09816879250590058,0.16028821387317393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08083212307905657,0.18334624037345926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04850926762582981,0.06853831316972328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07412166283326273,0.0,0.15037134575064295,0.0,0.1090478497928478,0.0,0.0,0.10577227197203466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2042561266175064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09623389859079937,0.0,0.09447986226536348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09990493595258597,0.05272515950637729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06776403131384015,0.09374117705940306,0.0,0.08471524255608409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10656578076991408,0.09664770522273436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07657700500785936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18799825325489608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06501024887966007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10389178806605356,0.0,0.0,0.08376958941191097,0.10023506382712638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12292101388562525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0819307511050178,0.0,0.07629395620768467,0.0,0.0,0.076450373229903,0.08733859006105986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09600754694373033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07213363296799206,0.0,0.0,0.17665412291522342,0.0,0.1113917160175777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07616426320625491,0.11188474356653257,0.11026691848132184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06513578199112913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08285985473406607,0.0,0.0,0.28293436147377865,0.0,0.07695588645145443,0.0,0.0,0.08893572955502653,0.0,0.0,0.1103242660028758,0.0,0.0,0.06984419697564148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,psychosisgal13,2020/03/07,"Am I Really Bipolar? If you've been diagnosed can you relate? My psychiatrist is leaning towards a diagnosis of bipolar for me. Im wondering if i truly am, and would love to hear from those who are diagnosed as bipolar, if you can relate to what im experiencing.   


A bit about my experience.... I went through psychosis and was hospitalized last April and potentially mania months before (i can't tell if i was just genuinely at a really amazing place in life which i thought i was or if it was mania) but i know during hospitalization i was in a manic phase as blended in with psychosis I thought i was an archangel sent to earth to empower women (and greats like Taylor Swift and other famous people were angels and we wee all going to reunite), I believe i was a famous songwriter, that people could telepathically communicate me, read my mind etc. But in hospital after the scary part of psychosis left (thinking the devil was out to get me) i was high as a kite happy, hugging everyone, thinking i was here to help everyone in the hospital, practically i had no idea why i was in the hospital but it felt like a vacation (groups, free food etc)  


Months after my hospitalization i fell into a deep depression for a month where i felt hopeless, didnt care about life, had no motivation whatsoever etc.   


Given i had a manic phase and a depressive phase he's leaning towards Bipolar

Where im at now: CONFUSED AS HELL. I've been more down then up, i havent been ""up"" at all, more like at a baseline on a good day. But whats confusing is i can be fine 80% of the day and then get hit with this low feeling of hopelessness and hating my life and crying. Like today i woke up at 7 felt good, 5pm hit right before work i start crying because i feel like my job isnt important and i feel unimportant.  


I was on Risperidone and Sertraline for 8months but felt like it was dampening my mood so now im on Latuda and Sertraline its been about 3 weeks i cant tell if its happening. During the transition between the two medications ( i quit risperidone and sertraline cold turkey) i had two days of what i suppose mania feels like (i felt amazing, jittery, talking a million miles an hour, couldnt sleep) but i dont know if those two days were because of the cold turkey stopping of the medication

My psychotic episode happened at age 25 - im 26 now. Psychosis is a symptom of another disorder is what im told. Im reading a book called ""Madness"" Its about the authors bipolar life - filled with alcohol, rage, ups and downs as a child and throughout. I cant help but question if i just developed Bipolar at age 25 and now its part of my life.   


I've never done drugs or alcohol, psychosis was brought on by stress is what we've figured.  


Im just confused and wish i could understand whats going on with me  


Anyones experiences would be great to hear",4.41475079533404,5.86185498550725,5.757470837751852,77.7641993637328,70.70289855072464,8.936090491339696,31.760516083421702,9.374367535131368,2.9788365500176743,2240,101,420,49,41,753,247,552,0.149,0.7140000000000001,0.13699999999999998,-0.9103,2,0,3,0,0,2,60.0,1,2,0,3,15,34,4,4,29,0,50,23,1,1,3,80,88,43,0,14,20,0,9,7,0,2,19,2,0,2,20,25,3,1,21,3,1,7,11,14,0,4,39,14,52,20,67,40,10,69,3,5,0,2,20,37,1,15,32,282,72,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12796149659270872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06277688011345918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041861139027702735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07299002648432258,0.0,0.10188661785774776,0.06745080149257855,0.0,0.0,0.06536041500708575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06113198214220127,0.0,0.06103947640001904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09559954760193906,0.0,0.13152450379221636,0.15443978181518864,0.0,0.10312854340903298,0.1215296398473349,0.0,0.0,0.0686139826232741,0.0,0.0,0.06126581035660107,0.0701649195642638,0.0,0.0694279418764687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20030613440382192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11441299240098353,0.0,0.11712489944828787,0.0,0.0,0.12108435835818228,0.0855395069775199,0.2874136272159833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07239269488192568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06255717998780211,0.0,0.0680487954608681,0.10042897535227532,0.0,0.13200949334680745,0.0,0.0,0.1058822541508764,0.06373066231121367,0.0,0.05910731398451347,0.0,0.0,0.13495130770034028,0.0,0.08025659629841014,0.06325389157973373,0.0,0.0,0.058957978856804476,0.0,0.0,0.0675837517254349,0.5173422191844906,0.0,0.059409811010254734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06580383935505045,0.048800458770300495,0.0,0.0,0.06504682154420206,0.0,0.2114329037775219,0.20473956787162192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054033260876138633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12062154250556308,0.0,0.0,0.060449673374912624,0.0,0.14335834115073412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0461739380406069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296625481309476,0.0,0.08300994838139847,0.0,0.06254937964697539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06706592780643847,0.06367705031500306,0.1197685207895458,0.0,0.07670602352669276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0511269954840166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05991129524410022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04237492047473115,0.0,0.0,0.05005237824531508,0.0685786595951811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062225836628833214,0.0,0.048119678261521616,0.10465464514803123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07672206999928809,0.0,0.09505710343112328,0.0,0.0,0.05674791997839039,0.057206496200491765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1754471841472735,0.06232476103736334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04802254594283877,0.0,0.0,0.05549829071503636,0.05402161159011428,0.0,0.0688453135560358,0.0,0.06492435645370212,0.04358466015746911,0.0,0.0,0.08505710318206214,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,aambrob,2020/03/07,"I’m thankful for this subreddit today. I have been dealing with a lot lately in terms of being bipolar, something I’ve struggled with for YEARS, literally since I was 16. It has affected my life so drastically in every single way possible. I still haven’t managed to fully be able to handle it, actually lately I haven’t really been able to handle it at all. I go through so much, and I feel like other people (even my SO and my close family) just don’t understand. When I read posts from this subreddit, I feel less alone. I remember that I struggle with a mental illness that other people have too, and they go through the same things I go through. I hate that other people have to go through what I do, but to know you’re not alone is a comforting thought when your mind is in a dark place and you feel like you’re losing yourself in this illness. My therapist and my psychiatrist remind me that I’m not awful or crazy, but it doesn’t feel the same as reading so much stuff you can relate to.",7.2148484848484875,6.105508060606063,7.686545454545456,75.21981818181818,64.35353535353535,10.748282828282829,33.94141414141414,9.888512548439397,3.1110650505050508,788,28,153,14,10,261,109,198,0.115,0.8170000000000001,0.068,-0.7164,0,2,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,3,1,1,10,8,1,2,6,1,17,4,0,1,1,29,32,15,0,0,6,0,4,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,17,9,0,0,8,2,0,4,6,4,0,0,4,4,23,4,23,26,9,21,0,1,0,0,5,7,0,2,10,114,40,3,0.2484054381744784,0.0,0.12120393737152226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572731187883164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12804754965584986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08203472457337971,0.0,0.1046461476503482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11708726979652345,0.0,0.2512025065786305,0.1774608946656008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28234907004025045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226244713302936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06825856622862955,0.0,0.28021215404011474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08772805360209897,0.12135834964871026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389510728334751,0.0,0.10559271023670493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12516712804864175,0.0,0.12540934006288532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18260657895428226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25831958050295434,0.0,0.12976540624494964,0.0,0.0,0.14001990396939734,0.1189518720829304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24847266021388334,0.0,0.07956744223967112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14069746885276022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10274177270444897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09561732114919752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09918845190226204,0.0,0.0,0.2596872985829439,0.14218239811469424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11434917657395392,0.0,0.14420892978402206,0.08251476767293434,0.0,0.0,0.09860308537691773,0.0,0.0,0.11772965505194755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292994108139639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09858633725074396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07998247894607999
bipolarreddit,sqquuee,2020/03/07,"Fitness and living with bipolar I've been having a debate with my wife.  She has bipolar, takes lithium and a few other medications.  She was fairly fit when we started dating.

She is on this kick that she will never be ""fit"" again or it will be impossible because it's still not calories in/out because of the medications she takes slow her metabolism down and cause her to gain water weight.

I have stated several times that each individual is different, genetics, diet, activity level, mind set all play a role.  

Can someone chime in and tell me that it's not ""impossible"" to be regulated and have a better than your average American fitness level. 

As a note I powerlift and do not think she needs to be ""thin"" or look like a model or bikini competitor.

I have always tried and be positive with her and listen to not only what she is saying, bit feeling ECT .

Lately she just came off of being manic and then depressed, I'm definitely not interested in starting a fight with her either.

All I'm trying to do is see what's possible and be positive when she feels let down and dragged down by her bipolar.",6.967428571428571,7.0358727428571415,8.035952380952379,68.61821428571432,64.42857142857143,10.809523809523812,34.16666666666667,10.504223727775694,3.6886666666666654,876,35,152,20,12,299,127,210,0.043,0.8220000000000001,0.135,0.958,2,0,0,0,1,0,24.0,1,1,0,2,5,6,1,0,8,0,24,8,0,1,3,37,38,18,0,1,10,1,4,1,0,2,5,2,0,0,10,18,3,0,3,1,0,1,6,2,0,0,3,8,21,4,21,25,6,29,0,1,2,0,22,14,0,3,13,115,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14167767593304748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20758913806388588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15058933604372174,0.1858899478236671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1947426891734575,0.0,0.1749134472008485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14665267617530914,0.0,0.0,0.17789515133461864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17218652188044226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920711574495831,0.0,0.0,0.17411186873409565,0.0,0.08318496663018422,0.0,0.1503508883962523,0.0,0.14298330672523446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34305676058419377,0.0,0.0,0.1719234283993151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12625250917716616,0.1313221608560952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294974554841362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919530229765234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13540496077191888,0.0,0.0,0.1356825665196124,0.0,0.0,0.1923558143680147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14426860329301364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24103493697908315,0.0,0.13597726214097355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2560426075108465,0.0,0.14882285037482454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10910167559022738,0.0,0.0,0.09928538292314032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23120332051855866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20734210489016647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,TycoonForLife1986,2020/03/07,"Is drinking alcohol to cope with anxiety a bad sign in someone with bP? I am curious to your guy thoughts. Obviously, using alcohol excessively for anyone is not a good thing, probably bordering on alcoholism at that point. 

My question is if you have BP is this somehow amplified?",4.7650000000000015,7.699797500000002,6.718,64.709,74.0,12.0,40.0,11.20814326018867,6.3344000000000005,225,15,34,10,5,78,42,50,0.15,0.807,0.043,-0.6874,0,0,4,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,6,4,0,1,1,10,8,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,2,4,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,4,1,8,7,0,4,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,3,0,26,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7074106945614006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16879365305727884,0.0,0.0,0.15428087470704527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18423026672894688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21614916497719644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18506746977223407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21847431662423172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2085818718732594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378938012404648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471741153094157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869527139756932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14658745627874725,0.0,0.0,0.17516834712460272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19056737616492905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BlurryLinesSoftEdges,2020/03/07,"Do you ever Do you ever imagine, or think, or feel like someone - a person that you imagine- is able to see through your eyes? Or is asleep, but in their dream state is in the room with you and aware of what you're doing thinking and saying. Sometimes my thoughts and feelings are narrated to the person as if I'm a book or movie. I usually get to choose who the imagined person is and I can usually turn off the story. 
I've done this since I was a kid but have never told anyone or even known how to explain it.",5.176918238993714,4.712561283018868,5.771698113207545,85.14861635220126,68.24528301886792,8.19874213836478,29.930817610062896,7.1686216300943375,1.594998742138365,400,13,85,3,6,130,73,106,0.0,0.9570000000000001,0.043,0.5023,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,5,1,0,4,1,0,0,7,0,12,2,2,1,3,28,23,14,0,1,8,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,1,4,5,5,0,0,11,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,5,10,1,11,19,0,10,0,0,2,0,14,4,0,6,6,62,15,1,0.186940505644311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13071314812975726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1913050416313885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12347244090016862,0.3381967798024149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18904547317496,0.13355033458477494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09766869851431996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09132968832813523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441800424695062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4896877166915151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486625933308419,0.0,0.0,0.14896737972965918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15463911805885638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15839408378755448,0.0,0.18488894013857565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23956785538018605,0.0,0.14840988002447034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17862966430251084,0.0,0.0,0.20333758882347205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41177711242300735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,melatonia,2020/03/08,"Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is this: go to bed on time. It was already creeping in. I'm going to try to use this Spring Ahead Evening as a chance to check that my blackout curtains are light-tight and continue the habit of consiously (audibly, visually, pharmaceutically) reminding and prodding myself into going to bed on time.",9.870430107526886,8.942374000000003,9.218387096774196,65.78091397849464,59.0,12.137634408602151,41.63440860215054,11.20814326018867,4.799176344086024,276,13,45,6,3,88,50,62,0.0,0.925,0.075,0.5574,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,2,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,1,0,7,9,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,5,3,0,0,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,4,1,13,7,0,12,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,5,31,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4133345388558979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2473923088934984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6386105583438777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43681606252005306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2543005856880776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3234982208668616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,grumpy-buns,2020/03/08,"I feel like i ruined my life... and it’s all due to undiagnosed BP2 Hi, so I’m new to this group and diagnosis. I’m a first gen student & going to university was already quite a challenge. I didn’t adapt easily. I felt alone all the time. I tried so hard to fit in to the point that I lost myself. I never dropped out even though I should have. I learned how to play the sympathy card too many times. I withdrew classes, stopped working, took loans, took my time but nothing to seem to work. I had a lot of chronic pain but I honestly feel like I just gave up. Things took a turn for the worse my last two years. I had a couple C & Ds that I made up. But I got my first fail which is now included in my GPA. I know my life isn’t over but I definitely closed doors. I’m severely disappointed in myself. I know I had a lot of potential and I never understood why I was so emotionally disturbed. I was always depressed and no SSRI helped. I ruined an important long term relationships and the fall out was a lot more chaotic because I didn’t know when to walk away. I always looked for intense relationships even in friendships and social circles that would trigger me. I guess this diagnosis helps me identify the reckless decisions I have made. But I’m so sad... I literally have been contemplating suicide. There’s not taking back the misdiagnosis and all the reckless decisions. I should have dropped out but I didn’t. People kept telling me it was depression and anxiety and I would get better. I’m just upset. I had no guidance and now I’m in so much debt with a low GPA... i might be able to go back for an extra quarter but I doubt I would do better. I have very little skills. And I caused a lot of damage in personal relationships. Anyone have advice on how to cope?",1.237954788657035,3.715956345505617,3.194927768860353,87.25357677902625,85.26404494382022,6.42418405564473,23.08293204922419,7.7094869923839395,1.2772471375066887,1393,52,286,27,42,467,183,356,0.23399999999999999,0.664,0.102,-0.9954,1,1,0,0,0,1,45.0,0,0,0,11,19,21,0,3,19,0,29,4,0,6,5,62,59,27,1,5,10,0,4,2,0,6,4,0,1,1,9,16,0,2,11,1,2,7,9,14,0,4,24,5,49,7,32,28,11,47,0,10,1,0,11,19,0,8,21,194,58,9,0.09064515169494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0885773931487338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09388104000854056,0.10002917892985258,0.0,0.1508480552837878,0.19642796798064624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06934329293993842,0.0,0.0,0.06338119766985655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08516410387332495,0.1394010529242242,0.0,0.055256443135355264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603365409481108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093117540146905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002971362521112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561450726624198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019635951529381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11974053559944355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09166582455805744,0.1295138289652457,0.08703356068515652,0.0,0.0,0.1542054394512375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047358350519938884,0.0,0.10303145725314987,0.0,0.07249720840263936,0.0,0.09985585401674013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08120025139638637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12151506892665084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14944861438807894,0.07388789687861108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12805070267549568,0.0885692849093601,0.09085025533411874,0.0,0.08021810681344671,0.07611909785893044,0.0,0.09894989085070403,0.3082530658789531,0.0,0.17154126848365894,0.0,0.09189995649953472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09616018141378907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0666346162606096,0.0,0.13982225816696892,0.08754565235266523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08697646776455527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09645283236180023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06284193489627958,0.07914785011353156,0.0,0.0,0.08568896745400707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09641227655983577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29195690975800465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08251994170926485,0.0,0.1024032202986468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924013169398677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07578340563818238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09915108365081128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06815387314627755,0.0,0.07922785792816585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060220611012004224,0.0,0.08905840130970558,0.0,0.15856775070695953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3021302964022472,0.06154210789683698,0.09859589563353614,0.08854714195027097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07479174327657505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0817931504532486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13198150002492512,0.0,0.09237515360910276,0.19317514508288985,0.0,0.0,0.058372505773504
bipolarreddit,youguysaregettinpaid,2020/03/08,"My brain goes a mile a minute If people could see my thought patterns and not my physical activity I feel like they’d probably think I was a very successful, active, highly regarded member of society. My brain is working overtime with plans and ideas. New ways of thinking of things about stuff. I’m desperate for answers to questions I still have. I feel like I’m in an ocean sometimes and I’m trying to swim to shore but every time I go to take a look for the destination it’s not any closer. I feel I haven’t made any progress even though people tell me I have. I know what I want to happen but I’m idle a lot. I want to improve but it’s like I don’t have the mental capacity to physically do anything that which leads me to isolate and stay thinking myself into mania which never works out. I want to just feel well rounded and solve my problems no matter how small but I feel like i can’t make any positive steps consistently. I feel almost a prisoner to my life and I don’t know what’s got to change. I feel like I’ve got to change my mindset to fix a million broken things at once rather than each bit individually. I worry about future decisions or what path to take in life. I haven’t done anything off my own back it feels like.",2.6573517786561283,4.5182990632411135,4.099743083003954,86.1522233201581,76.15415019762845,6.971541501976285,24.54347826086957,7.84624498591911,1.2630173913043483,985,33,203,15,22,326,142,253,0.08900000000000001,0.7390000000000001,0.172,0.9462,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,6,10,9,0,0,10,0,14,4,2,4,1,51,45,14,0,7,10,0,9,6,0,0,2,0,0,0,12,10,0,0,18,1,0,4,9,1,1,1,6,11,32,8,29,37,4,22,0,0,3,0,3,10,0,5,12,124,44,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09790713910960903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19947024397126395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16092033091389227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07518263268802029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10674454058704444,0.0,0.0,0.21829758081158412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20686512622544606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0780650626835216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000573631532081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0645792016415638,0.0,0.08237931809083755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3955022073779674,0.34925097145450207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05556755880592745,0.0,0.15639856015163098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08646175651141967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10330423385912416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11037562304796143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10746872705837376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13812218405448987,0.2866063867566629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08210603944264702,0.0,0.0,0.08312446907962415,0.0,0.0925166912925294,0.06526530521304476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09853380069458624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07540979968846437,0.0944313186478061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10412675874939824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13556919433828632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10541755662264256,0.09355708814110857,0.0,0.0,0.10952992957535627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07791369785388219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967015802024838,0.0,0.0,0.10421471504330336,0.07808292243586469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1119285254565176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14702866308500034,0.0,0.0854593106195521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12991420030162187,0.1879500485287592,0.09606304877897197,0.07762211144306838,0.05701315596254133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06638253579575905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08067428537883473,0.17300997827223072,0.07760892701875394,0.0,0.0,0.0879111083050811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14236214762856475,0.09929485312356827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Imogen_Glass,2020/03/08,"Mixed episode but don't know what to do? (Canada) I can't see my family doctor for a month, and then I have to wait for her to get me in to see the Psych, however the psych forgot about my last two appointments, which if she would have made she'd know I was headed to a bad place.  Well guess what, I'm here now and it's scary af.

I tried the local ED, but unless I am suicidal, which I am only when I lose contact  with reality but when I come back I just am so scared because my brain is really wanting that ot happen, but I don't.

I don't know what to do or who to contact.  I'm having a moment of clarity rn.  I have family and a husband but they don't really care that I'm not washing or dressing or sleeping.  

I hate this country so much.  I just wish I could get some help.",1.1818403361344565,2.4112496882352943,3.5833613445378165,90.99941176470593,78.58823529411767,6.974789915966388,20.966386554621845,7.7094869923839395,0.5926974789915969,597,15,142,9,14,208,100,170,0.18600000000000005,0.737,0.078,-0.9722,1,1,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,1,1,11,6,1,1,7,0,19,5,3,1,0,30,39,18,1,5,13,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,10,5,0,2,3,0,0,1,6,4,1,1,3,2,23,2,14,33,2,12,0,1,2,0,9,3,0,6,8,99,33,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12878404621622674,0.13984126289123294,0.1020960484474404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869663559986584,0.0,0.0,0.1707600240720909,0.0,0.0,0.1442717267343842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13372150297297622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.171425890556988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31577602895076123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17500585179652492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18450134556218914,0.0,0.148104614701489,0.0,0.0,0.16535473359383224,0.1718858198888851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11226028731019982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2761327387213854,0.13652095341930218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18737057441878094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584764116552145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336832884203593,0.0,0.12311923504296073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12737832636368274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17498403007612529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2145877257867229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16767964508159666,0.0,0.26692444535505955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16760389868071526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831991577024325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11370992544709828,0.0,0.16360650055401224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987857800002687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15058728099960875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19259712064102266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189750784532182,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jerryskids_,2020/03/08,"How many of you came from dysfunctional and/or abusive/neglectful families? I'm fairly certain this is one of the largest contributors to bipolar development.. though I am speculating (Yes I am aware of the genetic component but on the whole it's environment and biology).  


Let me know!",5.770408163265308,9.019380326530618,7.256489795918366,60.492081632653075,72.26530612244899,12.083265306122449,38.37142857142858,11.20814326018867,6.082539591836735,232,14,35,10,5,79,42,49,0.0,0.9590000000000001,0.040999999999999995,0.2124,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,1,4,1,0,1,1,6,7,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,4,1,6,5,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,25,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4249669337691744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3502747537833565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2042002731884356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.379946417001796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37670465464095815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25177942950877386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3650569117344289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4148347188279871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mistears0509,2020/03/08,Is it Akisthesia I keep having this itchy restlessness in my legs that makes it very hard to sit or stand still. But my psych has me on benzotropine and proponolol and seems   incredulous that I could still have akisthesia while on two different meds that treat it. Is it perhaps a manic energy  bleeding through? Does anyone else have an itchy twitchy restlessness in Your muscles that makes being still very hard? This is the second med I've tried and I'm wondering if this is just something I have to live with. Any advice?,6.038055964653901,7.705031185567013,5.142120765832106,82.87721649484537,67.04123711340206,8.841826215022092,29.32106038291605,9.23628265651192,2.4476874815905743,423,15,77,8,7,126,66,97,0.13,0.823,0.048,-0.7412,1,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,4,3,0,2,3,0,11,2,1,2,0,14,17,7,0,2,4,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,11,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,2,7,1,8,15,0,10,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,4,4,53,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17804854445170878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12390559742263918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274019203949141,0.18669047817100368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14547580687319436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19036536682056307,0.0,0.0,0.15944875817461768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15220883524155485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32643964913176265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619521096074626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16089028737783426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24324640525004385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4047771941717332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16587252104951444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14027025338792856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4365272666375079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12370518417857132,0.0,0.17798773681600447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3006762911850364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1975934693781674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,AndyPandy85,2020/03/08,If you’ve been taking Seroquel for a while and are at 75mg or more at night Does taking 25mg during the day knock you out? It used to do that to me but now I’m taking 75mg-100mg a night and I’m wondering if I’m in the clear to take a 25mg during the day without falling asleep,2.5640769230769247,2.1890152153846145,4.362884615384616,92.7258653846154,73.76923076923076,7.115384615384617,23.94230769230769,5.985473137389443,0.3201538461538456,219,5,56,1,4,75,42,65,0.0,0.9109999999999999,0.08900000000000001,0.6207,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,0,3,1,1,1,1,11,12,7,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,9,11,1,11,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,4,6,31,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3053053873928854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20713881725411668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44425608760190377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7118793852752325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20443384044671664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281715123372751,0.25669235692201564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,thku,2020/03/08,"Bipolar: Is it okay to have kids? I’ve been struggling with bipolar 2 for 5 years now and I can finally say that I’m somewhat stable. I haven’t gone through psychosis in 3 years. I’m mostly happily married and the one thing that’s been constant in my life is my 10 year relationship with my husband. He’s been there for me through it all and we recently started talking about starting a family. Even though I really really want to have kids, I’m afraid that my mood swings and energy levels will prevent me from being a good mom. I’m worried about being pregnant and how that would affect my moods and taking medication during pregnancy is also an issue. I’m on the lowest dosage of medicine I’ve ever been on, 2.5 mg of lamictdal and .5 mg of resperidone. Will it affect the baby if I continue taking meds? Was going off meds a risk you were willing to take? Did you relapse and have a psychotic episode when you didn’t take your meds? How did you manage through your pregnancy? How does bipolar disorder affect raising your child? How does it affect you as a mother? How do you manage yourself and your family? 

Please share your experiences and give me some hope. I really want to start a family but I’m terrified that I’m not qualified to be a mother.",3.61177700348432,5.623089585365853,4.999709639953545,80.0815853658537,73.87804878048779,8.26295005807201,27.567944250871076,8.976282227363876,2.4377749128919857,1002,39,183,22,21,334,135,246,0.061,0.8590000000000001,0.08,-0.5163,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,1,11,0,0,14,9,0,3,11,1,25,5,0,9,2,35,45,21,0,5,3,4,0,0,0,4,5,1,0,3,10,13,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,3,0,1,10,1,25,4,24,28,4,21,0,0,0,0,25,6,0,5,13,125,35,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976382085293428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13193980802764432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399298443260887,0.0,0.21368986584548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08064167190294941,0.11044065200554047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11943096960639345,0.3452969426318033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13374757189900338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11712330727371865,0.06938860704018666,0.10240631974411622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212664944541852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12743399842729625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08623832105313746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4068553997068856,0.12299645800949956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14299454974713527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08273378377775832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340221097690857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2346488613675645,0.0,0.12055270140799465,0.13108283511309896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09709373191480314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25925543739017154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276387410245818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3671967725658237,0.09813421158083613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08111356326767181,0.0,0.11995634298218145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14402793829508634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12399197827940887,0.0,0.08673179104354169,0.0,0.0,0.2358728279529328
bipolarreddit,Intelligent_Public,2020/03/09,"Can you tell you're psychotic after the first time? Hello all,

  
I'm diagnosed BD1 after having a severe manic episode with psychotic features. I was essentially fully psychotic for around 2 months. 

​

I am medicated now, but am wondering what recurring bouts of psychosis and mania look like. It was in November - January 2018 that the episode occurred, and so far all I have felt since is depression.

Once you go manic or psychotic again after the first time, are you more aware that things are going wrong? Or does the brain just flip a switch and suddenly the psychotic thinking makes sense again?",7.782016021361816,9.190000018691588,7.2443257676902535,70.3499065420561,62.83177570093458,11.347930574098802,34.91188251001335,11.20814326018867,4.4048835781041396,490,21,77,14,7,153,77,107,0.105,0.865,0.03,-0.8515,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,3,0,2,6,3,0,0,7,0,10,3,1,1,2,15,18,7,0,0,4,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,2,0,2,3,2,6,1,8,15,3,18,0,1,1,0,5,3,0,3,14,52,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21543316990846265,0.2416012761552752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17700163327494906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22196101373248966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17125274122148793,0.20180915268985888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17399823854278246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19090882077109528,0.0,0.0,0.3382508812734937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260003365561601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09713872215197587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16696785809989728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13272115295818274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20030118841601505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15870490740638207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21174839265528286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2246222937045884,0.0,0.1644749543979151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1737869485083082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13209439834371042,0.12740279621184042,0.0,0.0,0.2318797642463417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2156236022967746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21739034873469595,0.2416012761552752,0.0
bipolarreddit,superbat33,2020/03/09,Approach to treat BP2 + Anxiety/Panic Before speaking to my doc I wanted to see if anyone has experience with this or knows any info,4.453461538461539,6.121099730769237,6.726153846153848,69.99384615384618,70.92307692307692,8.276923076923078,28.384615384615394,8.841846274778883,2.6443692307692306,107,4,17,2,2,38,24,26,0.0,0.8909999999999999,0.109,0.4019,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,4,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,4,4,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,10,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34359088932533505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3532862117675885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42993499566453375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4942365758652905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2776750664873693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4026230108802207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2980126314242456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mike19eddy,2020/03/09,Should I see a therapist I’ve taken online examinations and always score in the mid 90s for bipolar disorder. What confuses me as that I feel like I can control my manic phases. I feel extremely narcissistic and my mind goes in a million directions but I feel as if I can control my outer behavior. I’m just not sure if I’m only a moody person or if I truly have bipolar disorder.,5.009999999999998,5.772068421052634,7.572210526315793,67.84647368421055,68.73684210526315,10.81684210526316,33.62105263157895,10.793553405168565,4.066703157894739,304,14,53,9,5,111,51,76,0.171,0.753,0.075,-0.7305,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,2,1,4,0,1,4,0,4,2,0,2,1,19,11,9,0,4,7,0,3,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,2,2,0,2,4,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,4,11,2,5,9,0,4,0,0,1,0,1,4,0,5,1,36,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895995061763546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5111334017511383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5222993748646659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3456417459958581,0.1627847171686974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113219036839138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23007574700801944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17329938149528593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19896038126861432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815765782395803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.214757315989587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2645654400912134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ThrowItAwayCletus,2020/03/09,"Medication Blues It's been nearly three years since my disagnosis and nobody can find any meds that more than 25% works for my biploar disorder. I'm always either anxious and bouncing off the walls or near catatonic and not leaving my house.

Most recently I am getting off of depakote and onto risperidone. Ive been on depakote and lithium with a smattering of other meds on and off for a while now. The risperidone seems to do the depakote's job, only now my dick doesn't work half and I orgasm like I'm 15. The sexual mania was the one part of my bipolar disorder I actually agreed with, and now I don't think my wife and I have had sex in a month. It's a chore to even masturbate once a week. Is this what normal people are like? Used to be we'd have sex or I'd masturbate 5-10 times in a week, easy.

I'm frustrated. I hate that I have to chose between a medication that works slightly better than the others or having sex. I hate that coming off depakote has me so neurotic I can't look people in the eye. (I'm usually plenty confident) I feel wired and depressed at the same time and I get to do it all over again when I tell my perscriber that this combination isn't working well for me either. It's never ending.

I'm in my thirties now. When I was in my twenties and before I could skate by without a care in the world, bipolar or no. Now it's all so damn exhausting I don't even want to go on vacation with my family next month. I already know exactly how it's going to go and I simply don't have the energy for it.

Raise your hand if you've been there.",2.974166666666669,4.2923265030864215,4.724276543209879,84.27504444444446,74.0925925925926,7.90004938271605,25.92296296296297,8.488131031819089,1.7033934814814815,1233,42,256,22,25,419,172,324,0.139,0.81,0.05,-0.9778,1,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,1,1,0,5,15,11,4,0,18,0,28,12,4,2,4,42,49,24,0,4,9,1,2,2,0,0,5,0,1,0,17,17,0,0,5,0,0,4,10,6,1,3,6,5,32,5,40,40,8,45,0,1,3,5,4,20,2,7,23,181,49,5,0.0,0.0,0.11471935063695682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12972783767500934,0.0,0.09781741807142766,0.0,0.0,0.07994326258355955,0.0,0.0,0.13280673181989355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000329383580574,0.0,0.0,0.10397022638801973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11985790300069107,0.0,0.0,0.10126554340008588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09386025224308436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012522688720064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694626021971881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10412122318043453,0.0,0.0,0.15529149525716482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108229307579188,0.0,0.059440701882361675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074456018240836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228380853373837,0.0,0.200432238447086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321277679303618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13564579432506932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11665787102581175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0646066337692916,0.0,0.0,0.1244766230806274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11486550163298495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09871885460477843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2611601912634408,0.2368540163529484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876668582517451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09066774017788357,0.0,0.12502394035376654,0.0,0.11518157944914807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12519510656252025,0.0796601353118843,0.08940792301155426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12730352579414253,0.0,0.16299940510608524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11607403974379475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10702010870765953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09724493860142132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10275060539936544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07532622301445589,0.0,0.0,0.13709767252766228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10153210230370208,0.12947319060564375,0.0,0.06933857324897738,0.0,0.1885953809872853,0.0,0.10569848427503743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11332142116391335,0.0,0.3423336029448895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07570330012384753
bipolarreddit,effifox,2020/03/09,"Hi everyone, just a quick post to let you know that there's a French bipolar subreddit for those of us who struggle to post and reply in English I'm not the creator of this subreddit and it's still very small but who knows, maybe there are others here who would appreciate to exchange in French.

The sub is r/bipolarFr

Thanks for the great support this sub give",6.749366197183098,6.631414605633804,6.29024647887324,81.57931338028173,64.91549295774648,9.916901408450704,33.24295774647887,9.516144504307137,2.7936450704225355,291,11,58,5,4,90,53,71,0.021,0.767,0.212,0.9513,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,1,1,0,0,6,4,0,1,5,0,4,1,0,0,0,8,10,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,9,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,9,8,0,7,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,2,39,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23538692586457366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23631026805267105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2715889880315531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2707623169506128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518977339701132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474800624375608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4718482422104897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1967261879032592,0.0,0.0,0.2575264121848489,0.0,0.0,0.2795419304066947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267953291521995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2963147996813786,0.0,0.0,0.20325500287766016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17499175242967724,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Sarahthegalaxyghoul,2020/03/09,"Does anyone know when I will be able to get generic Latuda? So I'm on Latuda right now, and it's been an absolute life saver, and I adore it, but with insurance and my Latuda Savings Coupon it is 260$ a month for me.

Does anyone know when the generics will be available to the public? It's one of the only reasons I can lead a stable (ish) life but I just don't know how long I can afford it for. Am I just playing a big waiting game? Every time I try to find info on when I can actually get the generics I get different answers, and I know the FDA approved it, but that doesn't mean generics are on the market yet. 

Any help would be appreciated. I don't know how much longer I'll be able to keep this up.",4.05213392200147,3.774512741721861,5.566578366445913,85.03601913171454,70.58940397350995,8.03561442236939,27.373804267844005,7.3871296695380915,1.2816351729212658,548,16,123,5,9,187,87,151,0.0,0.863,0.13699999999999998,0.9614,2,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,2,10,3,0,0,10,0,17,2,0,4,0,27,29,13,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,8,5,0,2,10,2,1,1,3,0,0,1,1,0,13,3,12,21,1,15,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,8,79,21,2,0.3450856391269121,0.0,0.16837690229298385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11733503404854548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2412919025182958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18027052257667772,0.0,0.0,0.30198676829104565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453747671929987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15770101120426358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27043950533895555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11565181490684424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15336398589167655,0.0,0.0,0.4741251062375771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2437441923101239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526949657077712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18794971316544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13772203242103165,0.0,0.12683882541040858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11691947997946603,0.13122658935523449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17740275547725098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473506251492423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10061110564005038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11714524847545092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12256946852254028,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ShortPurpleGiraffe,2020/03/09,"Therapist leaving So today my therapist let me know that at the end of the month, she is going to be doing something different in the healthcare organization so I'll need to be referred to another counselor in the organization.  

Kind of sucks because even though we had been meeting for 4 months, we had good rapport and were about to start diving into some deep stuff versus my everyday anxiety stuff (also have GAD).  We really connected so it's a blow to hear that I'm going to have to retell my story to another person.  Next person is going to be getting a short summary, I tell you what.  

I will get to meet with her 1 more time.",5.480426829268294,6.272260731707316,6.907063008130084,72.92693597560977,67.69918699186992,10.052439024390246,31.63516260162601,10.125756701596842,3.2997650406504064,502,20,90,12,8,172,86,123,0.035,0.929,0.035,0.0,1,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,3,1,0,0,7,3,1,0,6,0,14,0,0,0,0,11,25,6,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,6,6,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,4,1,12,2,19,16,2,17,0,0,0,0,12,6,1,1,8,66,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12610100548759756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3306939075682608,0.12062894538754483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09612359290548952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16474774418579458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13966251414192465,0.0,0.0,0.10414975924211904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16476828937045246,0.0,0.26884884254677016,0.13225908261248587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17772297378515406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642051414223825,0.08665980505078595,0.0,0.0,0.16696613428379234,0.0,0.1612440664892556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25172605972112755,0.0,0.0,0.11692177065360396,0.0,0.0,0.16770027573992424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27536972312971497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10101734351969864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213939710147676,0.0,0.0,0.11161058027538688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36102425184268394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378240424126787,0.0,0.0,0.36616994560967453,0.0,0.0,0.15492516395486974,0.0,0.0919476598687211,0.0,0.149467378516645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,CyborgSunset,2020/03/09,"Employee of the Month It’s a big accomplishment to go from hospitalized Nov of 2017 to employee of the month, Feb 2020. 

Put the work in til it’s worked out. 

Hope everyone is having a favorable day!",1.4307692307692292,4.076124384615383,3.790461538461543,81.7795384615385,87.20512820512822,9.273846153846154,23.18461538461539,9.3871,2.718390769230769,157,6,32,6,5,54,29,39,0.0,0.84,0.16,0.7424,2,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,5,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,9,4,0,9,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,4,18,2,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22361861870673025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3313249348335374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970603359673952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3443910630010208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5535291291994061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3485694761402674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5048617078663592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Meta_Modeller,2020/03/09,"Does anybody have advice for Lamictal tapering/withdrawal? Does anybody have advice for tapering off Lamictal?

Right now I went from 400mg to 250mg, and I feel horrible.

I start out the day feeling great, which makes me want to not take the medicine, but I take 125mg in the morning and at night.

By 3pm I start having intense disorientation, anxiety, and overall mental discomfort.

I meditate around 6pm for 90 minutes, which makes me feel somewhat better.

I generally feel better until I go to bed, which is where it gets unbearable.

For the first few nights, I would have repetitive thoughts over and over the whole night, while in a half asleep half awake state.

Two nights ago I obsessively read Coronavirus reddit posts all night, but they weren’t real. I’d have to wake myself up and tell myself it isn’t real. It was pure torture.

Now I’m just sleeping poorly and waking up at 2 or 3 am.

I dread dinner time, because I’m assuming that’s when my half a pill has worn off, and I start going through withdrawal.

With all the crazy stuff happening in the world right now, this seems like the worst possible time to go through so much anxiety.

Does anybody have advice about how to successfully taper off Lamictal, and how long I should wait before lowering dosages?

Thank you in advance.",6.127947530864197,7.17388756378601,6.163577674897122,77.92339120370372,66.36625514403292,9.861008230452676,32.0599279835391,9.978442167317967,3.154308847736626,1030,41,188,23,16,326,147,243,0.149,0.752,0.099,-0.9425,2,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,1,1,5,11,11,1,3,10,0,14,6,4,4,3,39,39,17,0,3,5,0,4,1,0,2,1,0,1,0,9,11,1,1,7,1,1,5,3,5,0,5,5,4,20,6,32,32,7,47,0,0,0,0,3,19,0,5,22,119,29,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3105233071243797,0.09389529129871736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16206323747074616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09429487381923173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06457032602554838,0.0,0.09013357645689156,0.0,0.0,0.1873624528721059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06831225814983917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2780845856265161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2142335568945568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09009895439603874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0553409513821576,0.0,0.18059725911311494,0.0,0.0,0.11678165407573388,0.0,0.0,0.09366829963146454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05174914704913257,0.0,0.0,0.09373946305969036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14141026994812514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10674654251407098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07786637453292541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.49701279102954404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11941346633819805,0.10144597282358632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10595272816676818,0.2411295482356942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18091714312879556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09642928928169096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060005607027789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22492079223572595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12125771072421335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592834268459547,0.0,0.09258230038795646,0.09752064642608883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0840918746742782,0.12353034662045992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10347241877936243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062476757115523425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09819266817502156,0.0,0.1182604342551018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07524541567927934,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Little_Orange_Dress,2020/03/09,"Here it comes... I dyed my hair dark yesterday at 9pm.

Today at 8.45am I decided I needed to cut a bunch of length off. Surprise the husband when he gets home from work

The realisation just hit me when I got home from Uni that no, I'm not 'spontaneously investigating a new look', I am once again beginning the *exact* same ritual of behaviours I do every year.

There is no 'surprise'.

Here comes the winter seasonal mania.

I have made a psych appointment.

*sigh*",1.7846590909090914,4.487905420454545,3.8890909090909123,81.42863636363639,85.70454545454545,7.745454545454546,21.63636363636364,8.575989854853784,1.8661227272727268,359,12,69,10,11,122,67,88,0.081,0.893,0.026000000000000002,-0.5267,0,0,0,0,1,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,7,4,1,0,7,0,4,1,1,1,1,9,14,2,0,1,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,3,1,1,0,2,2,9,2,8,11,2,15,1,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,10,42,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4497181843053049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21993378699955649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13638034924478926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2087740491945872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5236800655132022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21920419601245475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24699823630729945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19355462118328204,0.0,0.25210984993433416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27799443975115234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474312667891137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19003705650255065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16809839524145287
bipolarreddit,iceVADER,2020/03/09,"I finally cut up all of my credit cards After years of opening and maxing out credit cards, I was finally able to pay off the debt and even muster the strength to shred all of my cards. I feel really proud and I know you all would understand. It’s been a long time coming",3.568928571428572,4.555249464285719,4.620000000000001,86.875,72.21428571428571,8.457142857142857,22.92857142857143,8.841846274778883,1.3199071428571427,214,5,46,4,4,70,40,56,0.099,0.7070000000000001,0.19399999999999998,0.7778,1,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,2,1,5,1,0,3,0,3,0,0,0,3,13,7,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,3,0,4,1,0,1,0,0,2,1,7,4,9,4,3,11,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,6,30,8,3,0.300520111070736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25887146581826725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19849069908955164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15195199777637844,0.0,0.0,0.6584101847420227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16515799376460266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26595084148120945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1925208784091512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17523569348406134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3128520340355849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2134808645614385,0.0,0.0,0.19352509859068207
bipolarreddit,im_dead_send_help,2020/03/09,"Does anybody else have short term memory fog? I'm not officially diagnosed by a doctor with bipolar but I feel like when I have an episode and go off the rails and break things or lose my cool on someone I feel like my brain has this fog when I have an episode. It's not quite memory loss but when I feel okay again maybe after a couple hours, sometimes a day or two, or maybe even within minutes I just think to myself ""what just happened? Did I do that?"" And I have to constantly recap the event like someone re reading a sentence in a book over and over because I can't comprehend the words, even though I'm speaking them. Is this normal for anyone else?",5.338863636363634,5.524532583333336,5.505606060606059,84.9784090909091,67.86363636363636,8.41818181818182,29.37878787878788,8.07648339933343,1.783042424242424,519,17,107,6,8,164,86,132,0.027000000000000003,0.8170000000000001,0.156,0.9399,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,3,9,7,0,0,10,2,9,4,1,0,0,20,17,13,0,1,9,0,3,3,0,0,3,1,0,0,6,5,0,0,4,2,0,1,3,2,0,1,1,5,13,5,12,16,1,19,0,2,0,0,2,7,0,3,13,71,19,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150888624119108,0.1686473381973778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10033576857448598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837427923212307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17786904825298971,0.0,0.0,0.18212157136181206,0.0,0.10615035336527248,0.0,0.0,0.16706076714853513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16847026642226845,0.14403845824635764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27499650935704123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21742728969110156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24967299116187175,0.2351738337268729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09354330340735953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1455510822551778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16209321758408662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24123885204765996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18414004144567492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3307162085807647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16126844937963908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1750673644510692,0.16463984414404215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2789221310436261,0.0,0.16278896268315335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093498051460447,0.10546602365814348,0.16171404883111046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16078569373152302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sarikaya_comes_in,2020/03/09,"I feel like I’m gonna break my own bones Ok the last few weeks I’ve had a hard time nonstop cracking fingers/toes/foot/whatever I can crack. It’s become obsessive and sometimes is happening during inappropriate times (like having a 1:1 with my boss). Right now I can’t get my ankle or toes to crack the way I desperately want them to — I’m afraid I’m going to break my own foot! I’ve had times were I get really into picking at my pores on my face or legs, or picking at my lips.. I’ve always cracked my fingers but it’s never been like this. Is this related to bipolar or has anyone here ever experienced these kind of weirdly sensations?",2.753324080499649,4.4711378091603065,4.547675225537823,83.6694101318529,75.48854961832059,7.511727966689799,25.64954892435809,8.296473431620573,1.6566580152671753,507,18,103,9,11,172,85,131,0.065,0.868,0.068,0.0906,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,0,3,8,0,2,4,1,10,8,7,3,2,15,20,6,0,1,5,0,3,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,4,4,14,5,10,15,3,17,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,4,11,56,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1946379326352861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16356041526953813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2583432803139996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21159159020633656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11827561549748825,0.16711056612597036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2444242697296157,0.0,0.13294059242876569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20685229619685425,0.0,0.20954395509474932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2435888721753736,0.0,0.19067382033088348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3428405320303037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18041144259246505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498534124142935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19976409641685924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23135019131962803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4091971768832876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13797048434877315,0.18567266508266012,0.1876343486858587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Royal_Vengeance,2020/03/10,"About to start a second , I hope I can take it. Long story short I can barely keep my head above water with the car loan and rent. Gotta take a second job in the evenings , I'm starting Sunday the 15th. Hopefully I'll be able to take it . My GF will move in at some point , but until then I'm paying all alone. Wish me luck .",0.12228571428571655,1.9039443714285724,1.9642857142857155,98.7907142857143,83.85714285714286,4.571428571428573,14.285714285714285,5.288315135182226,-1.1735714285714278,246,3,60,1,7,81,53,70,0.036000000000000004,0.802,0.162,0.8338,2,1,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,5,0,4,2,1,0,1,10,16,4,0,3,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,2,2,1,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,6,3,8,13,2,13,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,4,6,33,8,2,0.220843654925562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287274235413561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14586515125221886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266493033496152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4386951594127139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.219153250778642,0.19629598765084524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19543968506458606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2347218550445554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20876863688228373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3126285512647332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4981408325161614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2539593041976833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Leeann1987,2020/03/10,"Abilify zombie feeling I’ve only been on abilify for a week - most of the side effects have gone away, with the exception of feeling like a total zombie. I feel tired, frozen and totally out of it. Did anyone else experience this and then have it go away over time?",2.97176470588235,5.3943422549019635,4.584078431372549,80.36435294117645,77.43137254901961,8.00156862745098,25.88627450980392,8.841846274778883,2.3255380392156857,209,8,38,5,5,70,39,51,0.055999999999999994,0.8370000000000001,0.107,0.1531,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,4,0,4,1,0,1,2,12,9,3,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,3,1,1,11,6,3,11,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,1,4,29,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19407728075858585,0.28439430296370105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5215558653236811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2318668098529842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27150816392028265,0.0,0.0,0.4210299258162074,0.19828981362213774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15774445570153475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13560240738489635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21109783925182815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1618481979125282,0.3190158278363863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22264289381907626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,DramShopLaw,2020/03/10,"Inhuman dose of lamotrigine I have been rapidly cycling for the past month. This turned into a weird obsession or delusion that consumed all of my emotions and left me exhausted. (It’s actually an interesting and creative one, I can think after it ended; but I can’t be glib about it.). 

I am now taking 400 mg of lamotrigine. I’ve been on it for a week. It seems to be helping. But the side effects are getting intense.

I always research my meds, and this appears to be a dose that doctors mostly use in epilepsy, not bipolar.

Has anyone else tried taking so much?",3.93333333333333,5.9063101111111145,5.369629629629627,77.93833333333333,72.8888888888889,7.392592592592592,32.37037037037037,8.167268648758528,2.665937037037037,444,22,78,7,9,149,80,108,0.047,0.875,0.078,0.5023,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,3,4,0,1,6,0,11,5,0,2,1,15,19,7,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,9,4,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,3,0,1,2,0,8,1,12,14,3,12,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,4,6,59,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.22272361855059747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899091059109128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15958663250117364,0.233852870027332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336073355098427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19066035565108624,0.2567327123247025,0.2021477236917866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11924292941977095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15298054755262966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2479770843854573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.253516701831911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18217433031034588,0.0,0.1677783697371824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1546573746485055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2178753324834464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20777580884745264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34320737086668635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14624323506346826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15495601404438292,0.24825322873436986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19712103580235069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18307567756526744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,PrayingPlatypus,2020/03/10,Is this summertime mania ? The weather is getting better and I feel myself gravitating towards being super productive and focusing on crushing goals. Over the past few months (fall and winter) I’ve been struggling with a depressive episode and I’ve been smoking weed and dropping acid among other things. Yesterday I felt sick and tired of chasing highs and letting my body get fat ( I was super cut and fit last manic episode) and in the wake of this revelation I started working out again last night and I generally few more positive and driven . Is this me making a change for the better or am I diving into a manic episode?,6.518157894736844,8.118026385964917,6.632412280701757,72.89230263157896,65.84210526315789,8.857894736842105,34.42543859649123,9.188382445141503,3.385933333333334,504,23,79,9,8,161,78,114,0.127,0.7040000000000001,0.16899999999999998,0.7545,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,7,1,7,1,1,7,0,9,5,3,1,0,19,16,12,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,14,1,0,2,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,5,3,9,4,11,9,3,21,0,1,0,0,0,9,0,1,9,57,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3947988492802764,0.0,0.24792131981089915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361126111107403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19223906990689896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11285500435474867,0.0,0.2143039222630165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332222234373225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2358196651154245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3638703503383654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22823384187809265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14898559181983434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1781535499627685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20945506953838053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21306659321936366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15797983817402803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333337482305535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14828203097002474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25653187884387113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16248992284605962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,boolean_10,2020/03/10,"Mood Tracking With Python (Link Inside) [Crossposted from /r/Bipolar2]  Github link: [https://github.com/km2938/MoodTracker](https://github.com/km2938/MoodTracker)

Screenshots of the app and the graph are included in the Readme section when you click the link, just scroll down. The Readme section gives a brief discussion of the features but the pictures show most everything you will want to know. Currently it is designed for Bipolar II but it can be reworked for Bipolar I fairly easily. 

Hey everyone. I posted about a week ago with some code for a mood tracker. I have recently added the GUI and some new features. It works well but I haven't created an .exe file or anything yet. I will begin working on that when I have some more time. I am hoping to make it more easily customizeable in the future.

If you want to use the app:

The dependencies are listed in the README section. Once you have those, edit the filenames in the source code and the rest should work! I use miniconda for python and installed them that way but I think everything can be pip installed. Currently the create report function just uses print so it still needs to be used in a terminal for that to work. Eventually I will have it write to a file but I want to experiment more with the function before I do that. It is new to me as well.

This will always be kept free as it is meant to be helpful to this community. If you have any questions let me know and I will get to them when I can.

Special thanks to:

[/u/jonbearab](https://www.reddit.com/u/jonbearab/) and [/u/MikeTheWatchGuy](https://www.reddit.com/u/MikeTheWatchGuy/) for getting me to post the code and linking the gui wrapper I used, respectively. The motivation was helpful.

Edit1:

Updated some spelling errors in the symptoms portion of the survey and cleaned up the readme file a bit. Cross posted to [r/bipolarreddit](https://www.reddit.com/r/bipolarreddit/) in case it isn't seen here.

The reasoning behind the mood state question only having euthymic (normal) and depressed is as follows: Hypo is really difficult to notice in the moment and I think using an algorithm to identify hypo in a custom application such as this will eventually be more accurate (hopefully).",6.209939849624058,9.202191242105263,5.505864661654136,74.92605263157895,69.47368421052633,8.237593984962407,29.54135338345865,9.002800196639251,2.838261654135338,1792,71,280,37,35,543,192,380,0.035,0.84,0.125,0.9861,2,0,0,0,0,0,98.0,0,5,2,5,13,13,0,0,35,0,35,3,0,10,0,59,61,26,0,10,10,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,1,0,17,13,0,1,13,1,1,3,2,2,2,0,4,2,26,9,47,43,15,40,0,1,2,0,15,15,0,13,17,203,43,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09225845029206346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08660084208592066,0.0,0.0,0.0707762890835735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08564693886242038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08856231199857438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11362570645529894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0896418237191959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994505396562823,0.18707634525363884,0.10180779483939012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10875242712572604,0.09984065001842933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13952194843187524,0.0,0.0,0.2067449410981391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11439657678700516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064263254618284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06947255916854797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07717216942046598,0.0,0.20103745322905425,0.0,0.0,0.10197388123451433,0.0,0.11849295724572488,0.0,0.11083917227741424,0.0,0.07915565115713706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29903251094773625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23318130477783885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0666747305050952,0.10700903449421263,0.10276400445150836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08311644956338178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081764038058308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958206059782906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13337735697420108,0.0,0.0,0.060688444466228286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5393374144367936,0.0,0.0,0.1841628705026632,0.08261189856873989,0.08348471636762943,0.0,0.1871563965988064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3030787243605882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mrtn0,2020/03/10,"Not manic, not depressed. What is it? I’ve been in a depressive episode the past few months and doctors started messing with my pretty strict medication regime to get me out of it. I don’t feel the depressive symptoms much anymore, but I’m anxious, restless, very nervous. I can’t pinpoint this feeling, as mostly I had mixed episodes that were clearly a mix of depression and hypomanic. This is something else. Anyone has it too?",4.722224231464736,7.1809401012658265,4.943074141048825,79.72430379746838,72.03797468354429,7.0459312839059685,36.602169981916816,7.957251820313856,3.1608321880651005,344,20,57,5,7,108,64,79,0.218,0.6940000000000001,0.08800000000000001,-0.8832,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,1,7,0,2,4,0,8,3,0,0,1,11,13,4,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,7,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,7,0,0,3,2,5,0,7,10,3,5,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,1,3,40,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275295625857183,0.19973897389938008,0.1408265886553567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6938770085390578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2061458634041706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16824747196769171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20367215899000016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10522544844935126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20289367112256715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1607590126822902,0.0,0.14805535457407915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19226321995089235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20490060720622347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550508910164987,0.0,0.0,0.1425550196101748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20933621258764454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.166179662935535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,M00nbean85,2020/03/10,"Fatigued, malaise you name it I haven't felt this way in so long. It's a weird compilation of anxiety, severe fatigue, apathy, depression and feeling so uncomfortable with my thoughts and in my own skin. What the hell is this. Half of feeling better is realising ""oh I'm depressed  or oh I'm having a panic attack"".  But I can't  pin point how or what I'm feeling. It's lile I have no controll over my thoughts. My patience is non existent and I am expecting the worst the whole time. I was convinced my husband was mad at me for going home early, but he assured me is was not. I hate hate hate feeling this way. Still a part of me convinces me he is mad and he is ignorning me even though he isn't.  How does delusional feel like? I'm not currently medicated, I still have to wait 4 months, and I read bipolar is a progressive desease. How do I know I'm getting worse?",1.3457834928229673,3.6559042840909086,3.3760406698564616,87.35675837320576,82.86363636363636,6.659808612440193,26.876794258373213,7.85451343220497,1.7864136363636374,678,31,140,13,19,229,101,176,0.19,0.653,0.157,-0.508,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,0,3,9,19,7,1,7,0,18,5,1,4,1,29,38,15,0,1,6,1,7,1,0,0,4,0,1,0,8,6,0,2,9,1,0,1,6,14,0,1,6,7,20,5,10,32,4,15,1,4,0,0,7,5,1,2,8,89,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11258994309610217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1674349968280822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13016602800511365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16507143362071058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2535265358832294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12879551694440364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09720896944651296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3720853716807256,0.10514322305104154,0.14131292630536604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07689386765614875,0.0,0.08364403691708305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4359202233785309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14763045363470506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08088458775827721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07190321028339795,0.0,0.0,0.13024694528461242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14826526591690695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11747521562405253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17268040785870473,0.0,0.15937826509897318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13912976382541795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472167509590389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662680305111639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23507136131819825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14460057938659648,0.2336840737525209,0.08582004724637153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336443815832846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16431777830805966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1499858580028924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,heavenweapon7,2020/03/10,"Depressing current events With everything going on regarding corona virus, the election (for my Americans), the global economy, etc. it's been a challenge managing my anxiety and trying to not fall into depression. Seems like everywhere you go (social media, TV, small talk with classmates and coworkers) it feels inevitable to get those feelings of dread and impending doom.

I was wondering how everyone else is holding up right now. Stability is what we need and the world seems especially unstable right now.

Personally I'm trying to stay mindful by journaling more and reflecting on my positive affirmations. I also deleted some social media apps, along with creating boundaries with my friends and family by telling them that the current election and epidemic are very stressful for me.

I hope everyone is doing alright. Times may be hard but this too shall pass :)",8.785310344827586,10.828036393103456,8.375344827586208,60.84163793103448,60.93103448275862,12.696551724137931,42.086206896551715,12.161744961471696,6.3436758620689675,707,40,94,25,10,225,110,145,0.08,0.802,0.11800000000000001,0.7101,3,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,1,1,1,5,10,0,2,5,1,10,0,0,1,0,29,21,10,0,2,2,0,3,1,1,2,0,0,0,1,6,14,0,1,6,1,0,4,1,5,0,0,2,3,11,5,17,16,3,20,1,3,0,0,9,9,0,6,7,66,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13091560012749245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252346142450875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2819994135278034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13675532648738548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1825754233848432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3128561278042093,0.14712836446664673,0.0,0.15432741323886434,0.0,0.16554930825003286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12647882156290238,0.0,0.08552960938536952,0.0,0.18607574369713667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14664838846113798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625969601035423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07997846481846649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16529635614129612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12138589786733366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429417331807625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2796079972689401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2980635222050379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3337552282879134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17448877566850488,0.0,0.0,0.18752462845965132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13158065265282431,0.14308622801764595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09545826399628583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2222912069943235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350745648331452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17753213454201094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Possible-Silver,2020/03/10,"Is your family supportive of your mental illness? I have bipolar disorder type one and my family is somewhat supportive. My mom and sister is but my father isn’t. He thinks there’s nothing wrong with me and thinks I’m faking for attention which obviously I'm not. My grandma is supportive to an extent only because she thinks I just have depression and is under the impression that bipolar people are dangerous. 
Is your family supportive or are they aware of your diagnosis?",6.9316666666666675,8.5942966627907,7.9744186046511665,63.41922480620158,64.93023255813954,12.24496124031008,35.26356589147287,11.855464076750405,5.218858914728681,387,18,57,14,6,131,57,86,0.16899999999999998,0.687,0.14400000000000002,-0.6683,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,4,1,0,2,9,1,0,2,0,11,3,0,0,1,15,20,6,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,13,5,6,20,2,1,0,1,0,0,10,1,0,2,0,45,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09549841074045054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349309278529387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1795457985346251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4430549865539516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15787631547807632,0.0,0.0,0.18347816181813525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15031938308056736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10615679125285167,0.11914690054603287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10860823769906547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7111031158531447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30114398253670993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17128298940984152,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,LordCheezIttt,2020/03/10,"Anyone have experience with coming off lamotrogine? I have have withdrawals and it usually takes me 2-3 months to drop just 25mg. At 10mg, I stopped cold turkey. I was fine for 6 weeks and had none of the usual symptoms; however, I have felt shitty since then in other ways which could also be other health issues I’m experiencing. 

Yet at 6 weeks the teeth grinding started up. This is a tell tale withdrawal symptom for me. Now it’s been 10 weeks and I still get it! I haven’t felt right at all the last 10 weeks, but like I said it’s hard to tell if it’s the L. 

What’s your history coming off this? I’m hoping someone chimes in and says that coming off the last bit was weird. I just want answers as to why I feel this way lately.",1.7352661064425767,3.5893424379084986,3.2486134453781514,91.23661764705885,78.86928104575163,5.940056022408964,20.73249299719888,6.868970318607317,0.28970812324929884,575,15,126,6,14,189,98,153,0.063,0.855,0.081,0.5502,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,0,0,6,4,0,0,6,0,12,4,1,0,1,21,26,9,0,4,4,0,4,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,13,8,0,1,4,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,7,8,12,3,17,17,3,32,0,0,0,0,5,10,0,2,17,75,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10695856774214207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09352000908306217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14601864036929954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34563727763961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10678723474477583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13083162468426676,0.0,0.0,0.06762722274458496,0.0,0.2568389265284613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06987803218634811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198123185947391,0.0,0.0,0.14216832220305478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13284236527170715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13959860754042594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2180456362850459,0.15087404990586067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06534272492252849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10675671739109492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11422042479280592,0.12722538095986072,0.10636211641701614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11063807989005728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11332460709928525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09466782413799917,0.0,0.10681166556568836,0.11181967277653436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27803165140243835,0.10056217095937013,0.0,0.2338040385941606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29460999023425705,0.0,0.07888828680355423,0.21232654975094906,0.4291396781911708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12068715099333015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Penelope-Morgan,2020/03/10,"Need to get some thoughts out about my diagnosis. Hey all! I'm new to this subreddit. After being diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder type 1 today, I decided to check it out :)

My sister mentioned that I might be in denial about my mood symptoms, which prompted me to mention it to my psychiatrist. I got sober in 2011 - I would drink and sleep with multiple partners, do drugs, and meet random people from online in their homes. My family wouldn't know where I was for days at a time. I was diagnosed with bipolar at this time but attributed the behavior to my addiction.

I've had long periods of depression throughout my life, even after I got sober. Weeks/months of excessive sleeping, hopelessness; major fatigue, etc. etc. I attributed this to... just depression or possibly my complex trauma history. 

I've also had periods of high energy, elevated mood, impulsivity, racing thoughts, and goal-oriented behavior, talkativeness, talking fast while not making much sense. My decision-making during these periods is *not good*. Risky sexual behaviour (before I met my husband), getting on planes to meet internet friends alone across the country, hyperfocus on irrelevant things (such as politics), wanting to buy a house, have children *right now*. My work life has suffered because, for instance, I'm searching for houses online to buy rather than working when buying a home isn't a good idea in the first place. I took out $18,000 in student loans and didn't manage it correctly. Afterwards I attributed these behaviors to being, quite frankly, just a bad person.

This is complicated by the fact that I absolutely have ADHD and complex trauma from severe emotional abuse during childhood. My former therapist thought I might have some borderline tendencies. I was hospitalized for a suicide attempt a year and a half ago after I couldn't deal with the shameful thoughts about being fired from another job due to risky and inattentive behavior. I believed I deserved to be punished. 

I don't get angry, but I do get irritable with my husband. I'm very agreeable towards everyone. I managed to graduate from college at 26 years old - during that time I was working full-time, going to school full-time, and at one point I wanted to take on *another* job and work over 70 hours/week with school full-time. I am now in graduate school and scared of screwing it up, even though my professors say my ideas and understanding are very advanced. 

Thank you for listening. Might edit this. I'll be around trying to figure out if this disorder resonates with me :)",5.992614414414415,8.408722286666666,6.302576576576578,71.53840540540544,68.35555555555554,9.931531531531533,34.606606606606604,10.219675759033578,4.231557957957957,2039,101,315,57,37,654,251,450,0.185,0.755,0.059000000000000004,-0.9967,2,1,2,0,1,2,81.0,0,1,1,8,16,18,2,2,13,0,31,14,2,4,3,63,56,20,1,8,9,3,1,0,2,5,10,2,2,3,17,23,1,0,12,1,5,3,7,12,0,3,15,3,42,4,68,29,7,57,0,5,0,1,19,27,1,8,27,210,59,18,0.0,0.09633427874514436,0.0,0.0886355080939687,0.09771397533469847,0.0,0.07207283634363768,0.0,0.0,0.08420846392533951,0.0,0.06502035452736643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17051279668220595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07237955082535956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06788708847725082,0.04956336442356028,0.0,0.06918539167611104,0.09160398525834076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052435624127670666,0.08382288454158103,0.14005742498396614,0.16504769536729114,0.0,0.0,0.18636737039900134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07964889671836554,0.09428911181831902,0.0,0.0,0.09145827233436064,0.0,0.0,0.18135529676991613,0.10740365223381937,0.0,0.0,0.07769133825945354,0.0,0.0,0.07664803210855159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06915881622071586,0.0,0.0,0.06281679043761601,0.0,0.1699160533781502,0.0,0.046208056229925375,0.13639117955762642,0.1300556226881616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08590422090744389,0.16311303361802731,0.0,0.0,0.1876323451782561,0.0,0.18356908620103726,0.0,0.0,0.16136725825512915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04468363456648844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148576216867954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07195322456104702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054272366070289166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2587583552621652,0.0,0.0,0.06489764924378222,0.0,0.05976924285297566,0.06028734624651717,0.0,0.07852581210528846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08531693797640015,0.0,0.055095029227248495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056367321955854824,0.07099323655178064,0.08494743315585845,0.0,0.07686042169956697,0.09166026429630986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08647890683688855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06943485380431573,0.0,0.0646577704217948,0.08140145952730822,0.2468579459116879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918526028426264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1627293756309924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0889355342677084,0.0,0.0,0.08450803393140897,0.061131970498924784,0.06535065856244159,0.0,0.07485561302145158,0.0,0.09440249738194663,0.05401607342126731,0.0,0.07988270233536515,0.2581914316426104,0.14223049418620098,0.0,0.07706855233905464,0.0,0.09033392387865276,0.05520141630566404,0.0,0.0,0.0846423817799172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13417187996736665,0.09591273488982363,0.0,0.06521874452596108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23676685692127064,0.0,0.0,0.0577574280334095,0.0,0.0,0.10471675742434497
bipolarreddit,cevicheria,2020/03/10,"[Lithium] Is it normal on lithium to wake during the night, have crazy dreams, walk very unbalanced and have weird vision? Hi, I am male 23 and I dont have bipolar, im only here because its the best community who might know about this. I have depression and struggle with suicidality, no meds have helped except im on low dose lithium carbonate now (300mg) and it has helped a ton!

I take it at night, prior to this med, I slept perfectly and rarely remembered my dreams. Lithium makes me mildly paralyzed as i fall asleep. Then i get crazy dreams and I usually wake at 4am and then the remaining hours before I need to get up, i am only half asleep and it isnt good quality. And if i need to get up in the night, to pee or im getting wet dreams often now too, my balance is so off as if im drunk and nearly fall, and my vision with eyes open or closed has this weird warping aspect. 

I told it to my doctor and she basically said who knows, everyone is different and shes not concerned because it all goes away once i get up. But i am wondering if anyone else experiences this, if its normal and why i might have this.",2.325,4.143249394736846,4.020035087719297,86.54557894736843,76.98245614035088,7.3670175438596495,23.68070175438596,8.238735603445708,1.3428343859649123,874,28,184,16,20,293,123,228,0.102,0.7979999999999999,0.1,0.4915,1,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,2,7,8,0,1,5,0,19,11,7,1,2,41,34,26,1,8,9,0,1,0,0,2,3,1,0,1,15,18,1,0,4,5,0,3,4,5,0,1,3,3,22,3,23,29,3,27,0,2,1,0,10,14,0,10,10,118,37,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07824312889550812,0.11465484273564384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10513379679791228,0.0,0.0,0.1364264848722826,0.0,0.09521871548329708,0.0,0.1174322169956353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963793640375986,0.0,0.0,0.1169117536628326,0.0,0.11453446054197812,0.0,0.0,0.13114604554301662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09347814756578472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10692530972254123,0.0,0.10945973780528467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2923158334204621,0.0,0.0,0.0938564674283197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15000851278164268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11019902578519862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4834850995329178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12299470114917885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07469416387269763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2485914975172176,0.0,0.0,0.23741657606930405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16594496411508394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3150318986614433,0.2192766147332072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11916991970192857,0.0,0.17021008725580414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267609626902251,0.0,0.10644258890502413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11698224650098993,0.0,0.12240051156226905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08413492451008737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10692530972254123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12324211506079863,0.09232927468475308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10097240583900924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12135084970103616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,LemursAndStuff,2020/03/11,"Trying to stay on my post-inpatient treatment plan in the plague times Oof. 

So I just came out of an inpatient stay to stabilize me out of a manic episode. Things have been going pretty well, and I’m trying desperately to get back into a solid routine that keeps me from sitting around my house all day doing nothing, since that’s a big trigger for me. However, COVID has thrown a lovely wrench into everything - all events are being cancelled, my classes at school have all moved online, and it’s only getting more and more intense. I’m in New York, and they recently just announced a state of emergency. 

I’m currently in a php program which hasn’t been suspended yet, so that’s good. But I’m worried that as they up the restrictions, that’s going to get shut down too. Then I will have literally no activities and I’m worried about a possible impending mood episode.

I also struggle with contamination OCD, so that’s been kinda rough, and high stress can be a mood trigger for me too. huge oof /: 

How’s everyone else handling it? Tips n tricks pls",4.441100746268656,6.2994893134328365,5.277534203980104,79.6004804104478,71.28855721393035,8.408084577114428,29.97543532338309,9.017664075816787,2.647639054726369,836,35,152,17,16,272,128,201,0.127,0.778,0.095,-0.6668,2,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,2,1,14,8,1,2,11,0,14,1,0,3,3,25,27,14,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,10,13,0,2,0,0,0,4,2,3,1,0,4,1,12,3,25,20,5,33,0,0,0,1,3,16,0,1,9,98,22,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12863811201955916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14319775452899394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12368989930497827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839787383218712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10374012475603776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343762469165151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15370674532023113,0.14456882916232744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2521250514619256,0.0,0.18283865588611667,0.1349200874245402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16995534509725954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18560857452241525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14297801198416554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451806563926363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17096663362880254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1553576920251237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15434762240351854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12233978372684025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18134326445926086,0.15405753171901604,0.16365045052548913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588279029445899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16279691864666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13306342834393206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34290652372584873,0.0,0.0,0.1842623349602857,0.16816374361294495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10686693042710417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937976134638529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2184240927624468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14463069122846978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3267182844027691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Doodlenoodle1234,2020/03/11,Newly diagnosed...not sure how to feel I was diagnosed with BPD last year and my therapist just changed my diagnosis to Bipolar II. Tomorrow I meet with a psychiatrist to discuss mood stabilizers. I just want to feel normal...I’m afraid I’m running out of time,3.780000000000001,6.596542,5.362333333333332,73.71600000000002,76.91666666666666,9.673333333333334,32.516666666666666,9.888512548439397,4.071786666666666,208,11,36,7,5,70,37,48,0.0,0.915,0.085,0.3818,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,1,1,11,5,2,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,2,5,1,8,4,0,6,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,4,19,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4039407866884509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3392835798842692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3255282185450856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3243354914860978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26143295458843885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3142415297746497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3022786762824329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37238540932747055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18701680663554754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18917138864005573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2065358102717285
bipolarreddit,ngunguru,2020/03/11,"""Social distancing"" is affecting my mood My school has cancelled everything this week and will be online after spring break next week. All clubs and stuff are disbanded probably for the rest of semester and we're not supposed to stand within 6ft of each other when we're on campus.

My friends at school are either scared and isolating or going back to where they are from to work from there. I am from another country, continent, hemisphere, and don't have enough money to leave - I also wouldn't be comfortable being at home because a lot has changed since I left. Even my doctor and psychologist won't meet in person. So I am essentially cut off from everyone at the moment and my mood is suffering badly. There are times when I like being by myself for long stretches, but this is not one of those times. I've tried to be consistent with sleep, food, exercise, and work, but it's so hard to motivate myself when there is no one around. It's depressing, and the 50 emails a day saying ""x cancelled due to coronavirus"" don't help.


Anyone here in a similar situation? Any tips to keep spirits high? I'm worried that the situation with the school is just going to get worse and worse. 

Sorry for the rant. I go to a good school and feel very short changed at the moment, even though they are probably doing the right thing by keeping us away from each other.",7.4419691119691125,7.095479046332053,7.297586872586873,75.69302123552123,63.55598455598457,10.952123552123554,32.3996138996139,10.451354775682146,3.201597683397683,1079,36,201,23,14,344,156,259,0.156,0.802,0.042,-0.9767,1,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,1,0,2,3,17,11,1,1,12,0,26,4,1,2,1,31,34,21,0,1,7,0,2,1,1,3,2,1,1,1,10,16,1,2,2,2,1,3,7,5,0,2,0,3,16,4,37,26,7,38,1,2,0,0,10,17,0,2,17,143,26,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08587086163370933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07302132916108335,0.11259613145074293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07508181840388245,0.0,0.0,0.09558998007952303,0.0,0.0,0.10088600431397998,0.08256774032170397,0.08965689011879811,0.06545717628662462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2271852609189191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06925050250609227,0.0,0.09248528287022642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10990684663037713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11095110026431393,0.0,0.14184549172280406,0.0,0.0,0.1026051335202626,0.09650522485636308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05429399448366242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298429831853216,0.0,0.08296066607375853,0.0,0.05610103949387096,0.0,0.18307769767138946,0.0900643205730435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961903964240265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07197380827362572,0.113451695563886,0.10770978443814032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908865870464318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11369874299700967,0.11666748101860105,0.0,0.0,0.05245990301701847,0.0,0.0,0.0950269409524726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912896946004332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11419867048890645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14552543325450404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09375910723927687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2315452154139263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09170098758962784,0.0,0.0853920052850098,0.10750500391242017,0.43469268806980055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08882492959855819,0.24139674860941726,0.10745644037258717,0.10945925848381713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12020187904925694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1229231418755247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07133776492716093,0.0,0.1054992168072506,0.0,0.12522699161041784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.072903219553707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12916358660816138,0.0,0.0,0.08859883203930494,0.0,0.0,0.17226574133045958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15634622540836352,0.10904847775162962,0.2188565304315146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,StarbucksLover911,2020/03/11,"Missing one lithium dose is messing up my whole week Two nights ago when taking my pills I dropped my lithium (300 mg) and woke up the next morning with extreme moods swings, completely irrational and depressed. I know it’s because I missed a pill, but when will this go away? I hate feeling like this... how long does it take the lithium to absorb. Plus last night I drank alcohol and took my lithium so I’m not sure if that makes it ineffective.",4.045764119601326,5.9256662674418585,4.020033222591362,88.12313953488373,72.37209302325581,6.774750830564784,30.890365448504987,7.447530270364453,1.868590033222592,353,16,69,4,7,108,67,86,0.187,0.759,0.055,-0.8740000000000001,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,4,9,1,0,3,0,2,5,0,2,1,13,15,10,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,6,5,2,0,2,0,0,2,1,6,0,2,3,1,9,2,6,11,1,15,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,1,10,39,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863494059928451,0.2246637314912846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19751079334117408,0.0,0.0,0.12814957739834668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22041410689665744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18106417947955186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839669722535406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062947234063813,0.15018287015400086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11947419121227235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2075510223275154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11553269139242828,0.17135925192745846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027040086873236,0.0,0.0,0.1860401412855532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403250335647075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22357382632157305,0.3945588201416732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14245208722887348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19813205233794468,0.0,0.3161220500697667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2335647368660252,0.0,0.0,0.20535666389098794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1686276677674394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2347057170927077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,09Skane,2020/03/11,"Do I have manic depression?    Hello all. I plan on booking a doctors appointment. Unfourtunately I cant get one until the summer. Its hard to deal with the bad days until I know whats going on with me. Here are some of the issues I have been having:

1. My mood swings all the time. I can go from happy to extremely sad. It gets bad especially in the winter. I'll want to lay around in bed and then loath myself for doing so. Its physically imppossible to pull myself out and do even the basic stuff. Personal hygiene isnt a struggle. Productivity is. 

2. I have always had sleeping issues. If i sleep more than 6 hours I wake up exhausted. I have a hard time falling asleep, and when I do I have unsettling dreams. Theres a pattern of me only being able to get 6 hours of sleep every 2 or 3 days. I seem to function on four or five hours of sleep well. My mom worked nights so my sister and I would have to get up around 10 pm and go to someone elses house to sleep. Pretty sure that is also a big reason. 

3. I have a hard time managing my emotions. To my defense I grew up in an envionrment where it is frowned upon to embrace emotions unless its anger. There was no time for crying. I can recall hiding in my room or a closet so I wouldnt get spoken to. I had a very traumatic childhood. Bio father took off. Left my mom with my sister and I thousands of dollars in debt and me as a sick child. My father would pop in and out of my life when he felt like it or was forced by the court. He put me in terrible situations which I'm pretty sure I blocked most of them out. There is so much more about my childhood, but that is for another post. 

4.  I have an issue with lying. Always have. People always say it's easy to stop. If it was I wouldnt continue to struggle with it. It comes easy to me and at times destroyed my life. 

5. I have long periods of time where all I do is sit around then I'll be so productive and try to set all these unrealistic goals for myself. 

6. Back in 2015 I spent half of 600 dollars on stupid crap online. Things I didnt need. So when I needed repairs on my car I panicked. I had no one to blame but for myself. 

7. Holding jobs down have been hard. This is the first job in a long time where I'm working consistently. I'm a dishwasher, working 18-20 hours a week. I have been working since October 31st 2019. We are heading into a slower season but I will still have hours and my boss has been really great about informing about fluctuating hours. 

When I started working I had 68 bucks to my name. I wasnt working for a month( left a really bad job situtation). I now have just about $2,000 to my name. 

I have goals to buy a car, earn my CNA certificate, and save up for my own place. Not where I want to be at 29 but it is what it is. Do I have Manic Depression? I am a woman if that helps. Thanks in advance",0.6723651649746181,2.8232352115059243,2.8861947440778337,90.81743932423859,84.3637901861252,5.791888747884941,19.725068739424703,7.105003140325477,0.3832345389170895,2194,62,481,31,64,745,276,591,0.13,0.7859999999999999,0.084,-0.9747,5,0,0,0,0,0,69.0,1,0,1,12,32,24,5,2,27,0,61,14,9,2,6,70,84,40,0,11,14,6,5,1,0,5,5,1,3,3,22,26,0,4,5,2,6,12,9,15,1,7,16,6,69,8,84,60,10,96,0,3,0,0,20,40,1,11,42,333,91,17,0.06459031689006868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051652853081149176,0.16123295362482715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0677285789927127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1724972279236799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049665966766138124,0.16179064999160542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05563883878328128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07094943017611531,0.08331082194099615,0.06658978056236359,0.11126309058459537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06611092626305627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053956921713213785,0.14531082576469626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04266129514010368,0.0,0.05442012773740759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06201683332876025,0.0,0.0,0.05494049055071375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687288735402136,0.0,0.11012449671918864,0.0,0.0,0.07121105239515038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06875759338154036,0.2314409484093174,0.0,0.0662882994360844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04329352790596657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3816507084490474,0.07452855362919293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.202246529226221,0.1922877691919972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03549714898006525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14035513657955245,0.0,0.09124410196412004,0.03155556624956087,0.0,0.0,0.11432079581794405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15129479700099474,0.05155537471408509,0.0,0.0474813147713134,0.0957858031061047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060613636933267365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08753614067050068,0.04912384654604711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04477879305223055,0.0563977733437456,0.06748313380194698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06185966916800593,0.131423145830556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06493110843975113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08275642185873229,0.06640960326507774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0513648124564742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0588005986540695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053429777589382686,0.07260222241262912,0.32318481622231937,0.0,0.054727165897454494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04571735873932719,0.0,0.051581910503122524,0.05400039708303626,0.0,0.13504764654964424,0.0739404597412034,0.0,0.0,0.12175121854777528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05946608580962168,0.0,0.0,0.042910936501814496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2636419324011773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0717622186508363,0.04385258534860385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053293775879513616,0.07619408475833687,0.0,0.05181045618135783,0.0,0.05807445186939088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2821351197775884,0.0,0.0,0.09176621586395968,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,PretendExplanation1,2020/03/11,"Hi, a question. I continue to experience significant cognitive impairment even after stabilizing.

In short(and sorry for the number of 'I's in this post. 'I's suck):

My functioning is far from normal, but much better than before: I eat right, sleep right, don't exercise much, don't have much else to do and haven't(so far) attempted to help myself by finding things to do. Bored and idle af, though to be fair I couldn't have done anything about it.

I have to complete my half-finished degree now, soon, after a few years' hiatus(in a heavily mathematical field) and my problem solving has gone to shit, and the speed at which I'm able to process things has *significantly decreased*. I'm on 1000 depakote and 1200 trileptal daily. Changing this even slightly is not an option

What helps? What to do? I'm desperate 

Thanks.",4.431342857142859,7.034667886666668,5.0299047619047625,78.08400000000002,73.46666666666667,7.7523809523809515,30.04761904761905,8.634040054169528,2.6811619047619044,653,29,111,13,14,209,102,150,0.095,0.757,0.14800000000000002,0.8131,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,2,6,6,2,0,6,0,15,4,2,0,0,13,21,7,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,8,5,1,0,2,1,0,1,4,4,0,0,2,0,10,2,21,17,4,17,0,0,0,0,4,8,2,2,7,76,18,0,0.1749865276709869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14399900245478625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14890064668125447,0.0,0.0,0.15476136359565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851125438903509,0.0,0.18347004500502054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1790719718321732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1790549032419437,0.14617879008830664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2311539023788788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17117040134432912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15993451614304166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2345795618803321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3859056961383071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17144964395984874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16758872276487838,0.0,0.0,0.16743847453437088,0.0,0.0,0.1960249585396879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2988750770417588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17962115603029655,0.0,0.0,0.17511290084853326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19588309136964144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16110408449800656,0.0,0.0,0.2325065470832911,0.0,0.1719233749816162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11268558666144625
bipolarreddit,SO-ART-DECO_,2020/03/11,"CAN I RETURN TO NORMAL AFTER BIPOLAR DISORDER? I'm seventeen, and about to go into treatment for bipolar disorder which I'm excited for. I experienced a rapid cycling hypomanic and depressed episode at the same time which was great for the first afternoon but after than I felt so anxious. I'm wondering, when medicated or treated can I return to happiness or whatever. I used to be so naturally euphoric and great every second until I was 13. I don't want to feel so weird",4.348455056179777,6.776778494382025,6.515042134831461,68.1678441011236,73.04494382022472,9.843258426966292,34.72050561797754,10.125756701596842,4.449931460674159,382,21,60,12,8,134,58,89,0.13699999999999998,0.654,0.20800000000000002,0.9038,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,5,7,0,0,3,0,6,3,0,1,0,14,15,11,0,2,3,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,2,0,2,3,3,7,5,15,11,1,12,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,3,9,46,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477893751826646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.188915396801169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5027604317835827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848016259743563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11090382375965648,0.0,0.2105987639763946,0.0,0.0,0.1865686908085218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12465477327012728,0.0,0.0,0.4836415795813334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2334892544961453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2209598411065272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2149045550112817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12789768315621755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894375070153495,0.0,0.0,0.12937116594904322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23786257724721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,famousspouse,2020/03/11,"Working long days vs mania How do you deal with working long days (12 hrs) and preventing mania?

I have to put in a lot of hours for a deadline next week's Friday, but I notice that my amount of sleep hours is decreasing.. so I was wondering what others would do? 
(I already take 100g quetiapine for the night)",3.1541935483870955,4.763511193548388,4.4718064516129035,85.08770967741938,74.16129032258064,7.540645161290323,25.30322580645161,8.238735603445708,1.5358606451612906,242,8,49,4,5,80,50,62,0.025,0.975,0.0,-0.1053,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,3,0,6,1,1,1,0,9,8,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,6,0,7,6,2,11,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,9,30,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23522717872764876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2749409188959518,0.21975843030167952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4198389998384141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3772794928534369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18122086924182115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22669790300910614,0.2000360655169268,0.0,0.0,0.2426838852193709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.214284509544288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21331377671034246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16026966802160236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17098396221573325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23116274851346186,0.3103657975327139,0.0,0.0,0.15142263109053453,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mhdz92,2020/03/11,"Newly diagnosed So long story short, I had a crazy manic episode from November-December. At the time I didn’t know what I was dealing with, but I’ve recently been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I made a lot of bad choices that were completely out of character for me during those two months and now that I’m seeing a psychiatrist and taking meds I’m trying to pick up the pieces. I hurt my husband, our children, and my family. I know this will be a life-long journey and that this is just the beginning but I would like to hear how everyone has dealt with their diagnosis (advice, personal experience with bipolar, reaction to different meds, etc). For reference I take 10mg of Lexapro and 300mg of Trileptal daily. My psychiatrist thinks this is good place to start since I seem to exhibit more depressive episodes than mania. The first time I saw him I was in a deep depression, no motivation to live whatsoever. I’ve been on my medications going on 6 weeks now and I feel better than I have in a long time, things aren’t perfect but definitely better than where I was. The only side effects I’ve had where nausea, headaches, and some acne but things seem to be evening out besides the skin problems. I’ll probably have to see a dermatologist soon. Anyways I hope to hear from you guys, thank you and God bless.",5.655540192172487,6.792262892430282,6.434370752284978,75.22890321068671,67.48605577689243,10.368033747363489,32.69299273494258,10.46071229359064,3.5501130067963445,1050,45,194,28,17,346,154,251,0.11199999999999999,0.738,0.15,0.8782,2,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,1,2,1,6,10,13,0,0,13,0,19,6,1,5,1,37,40,14,0,3,5,1,2,1,0,2,5,2,0,3,10,14,0,0,9,0,0,2,3,5,0,2,11,7,25,8,32,25,5,30,1,3,3,0,12,14,0,5,15,129,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11477448387720128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09806900830138952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20775666431134104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12314806378575385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12108969974031825,0.20232555382054065,0.2384262482036489,0.0,0.1227142114090702,0.13461221864664613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13099202295580686,0.07757712032419548,0.0,0.0,0.11223212937266558,0.0,0.11489234388320828,0.1107249797530736,0.0,0.05938816513352944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999061334665492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06675169537609749,0.09851466619278734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11629771780217335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2647579144115594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11665811496179605,0.0,0.0,0.12573671104675505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12909906220843914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08296108514400928,0.05738198879806339,0.0,0.10371384810536312,0.31182872332875256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0998550117647245,0.0,0.11113761567126124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609293644572476,0.11832233629699615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09375049431618927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08932889969173939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10255611870985086,0.1227142114090702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12663505070545805,0.11238741420477537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11597144753880982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18719092709945945,0.2138510376649756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09715898852423988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08313439683858073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17662126500971825,0.0,0.0,0.10813566908627008,0.0,0.0,0.1560621576674001,0.07525964582519552,0.0,0.0,0.20546474783244575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07974341329636962,0.0,0.11473528577521595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942143453458897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08343580224645276,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MindlessGatsby,2020/03/11,"HELP! I can't handle antipsychotics anymore! I'm not going to dive into all the intricacies of my ""disorder"", but I am diagnosed bipolar 1 and have been in the hospital 3 times in the past 3 years for manic episodes.

Now, statistically speaking, that's not that bad. BUT, I really am struggling with medications right now, and have been for the past 3 years. Before that, I was labeled with GAD and Clincal depression. Than, I had my first hospitalization after dropping $8000 in a month on drugs and shopping. (Had never really had much interest in drugs besides marijuana before my first classified manic episode.) 

Since then, I have tried a variety of drug cocktails, with mostly antipsychotics and SSRI's, plus some anticonvulsants on occasion. I just can't handle it anymore. I really feel like I'd be better off forgoing further treatment, and living off-grid in the woods somewhere, where I can't cause destruction to others anymore. Medications that I've tried include Seroquel, Risperidone; Wellbutrin, Abilify, Trazadone, Vistiril, Olanzapine, Lithium, Depakote, Latuda, Ativan, Paroxetine, Fluoxetine, Setraline, Lexapro, Celexa and Lamicital. Plus some more that I can't remember. I can't handle any of it anymore. I wake up in misery crying because I have go take them, because they DO help with symptoms of Mania. BUT, I can't deal with the sedation anymore. You'd think after 3 years in the game, that the relief from Mania would outweigh the side effects, but I literally can't function on them most of the time. I sleep ALL day, Especially with Seroquel or Abilify.",7.858297101449274,9.26151548188406,8.090000000000002,64.3716666666667,62.65942028985508,11.060869565217393,38.88405797101449,10.980518767755715,4.899566666666667,1267,65,188,34,18,414,157,276,0.067,0.823,0.11,0.8961,0,0,3,0,0,0,56.0,0,1,3,4,4,8,1,1,12,0,23,10,2,2,3,37,29,15,0,1,8,0,1,1,0,1,8,1,0,0,9,16,1,0,4,3,1,2,10,4,0,2,6,2,23,4,34,20,8,37,0,1,0,0,9,17,0,5,18,130,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07373018515986877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5376238573919808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09052723615499472,0.13218520624319471,0.0,0.18451703943196546,0.0,0.0,0.09588980728287966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11137851579612414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11909567989773362,0.0699227531304552,0.11177757412046632,0.0933830855850648,0.11004531222722322,0.0,0.0,0.1242601747263723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3772027737770203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05482105451023173,0.07745618077144613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844461628461389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12323661869786902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14534499088530672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05296915856435702,0.0,0.09573797250119057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2184460568307206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08654082758262079,0.0,0.07970211249182846,0.0,0.08362117150716586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2070007508833456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20837233581801184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12282016950359445,0.09259117674249934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08968719936153023,0.0,0.10849957589533568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11334545777531235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11269121885035027,0.08151930586669408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06947197538309567,0.0,0.0,0.1264426351111966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472218580022801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07701936324810423,0.0,0.0,0.20945923977684627
bipolarreddit,piglet110419,2020/03/11,"Misdiagnosed? Definitely had impulse control issues, depression and anxiety. I like many people don't like the way meds make me feel. I haven't been on anything since 2012.

I work full-time in a high stress environment and cope just fine.

I'm wondering now if I was misdiagnosed Bipolar/ mixed states or if if there is something else I should be looking at?",4.622727272727276,7.1669749090909125,5.1484848484848476,77.7427272727273,72.63636363636364,8.642424242424243,30.696969696969692,9.2995712137729,3.0443515151515164,288,13,51,7,6,92,55,66,0.122,0.731,0.147,0.168,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,2,3,5,0,1,2,0,8,1,0,2,0,12,13,6,0,4,5,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,2,6,3,3,8,0,7,0,1,1,0,0,4,0,5,3,28,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19009795572045546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20449016977332232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2787082151054778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2140283353334384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20758564360056864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12564651258348586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2625485567943434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2593641655995655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2428041601006047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20867317199373864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1658723079616915,0.2519348753237308,0.0,0.0,0.2760218690118177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17227510911037658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2055575895763352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19130355200036644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2846501243470393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19724372392053408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694821719582928,0.18090728233362569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MrScofflaw,2020/03/11,"So I was diagnosed about a month ago. Been doing the rounds letting friends know... And every response has amounted to
""Yeah pretty much checks out""
or  - ""You didn't know? Everybody knows that""

Which is sort of funny.
But also - like. I sort of wish people had said something. 
Ive wasted about 13 years of my life.",2.0234382566585936,4.7065372033898285,2.4971428571428578,92.1715254237288,83.74576271186443,4.727360774818402,20.292978208232448,6.1826913282559595,0.17951138014527898,241,7,46,2,7,74,52,59,0.048,0.7070000000000001,0.245,0.9023,0,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,1,9,2,0,0,0,10,14,5,0,1,2,0,1,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,5,2,5,2,7,8,2,4,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,3,4,30,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23530703141901435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2122817330609616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26942802038659786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2236546161612099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20508742587387546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4376561518706189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.271442481745339,0.18749647832719052,0.12968635596281253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21188111866191167,0.0,0.19513763880249135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840308758660764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.270059943420779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25250547880007923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20435778803287608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30525650479337124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17094227575464932
bipolarreddit,Raptor_Deity,2020/03/12,Wellbutrin Hello all! I'm diagnosed with bipolar 2 and had a quick question. My doctor just switched me from Abilify to Wellbutrin in addition to my lamictal. What's everyone's experience with Wellbutrin? I only know one person who's ever been on it and she said it was awful. I start it today so I'd like to know what other people's experiences with it have been,2.5108802816901417,5.212970000000002,4.657165492957748,77.48039612676058,81.39436619718309,7.493661971830987,27.184859154929576,8.472884824447931,2.588618309859154,294,13,50,7,8,101,51,71,0.051,0.907,0.043,-0.1315,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,1,5,3,0,0,2,12,10,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,1,8,6,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,1,6,1,9,5,1,6,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,1,5,37,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2627397731446117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2649565205338951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23415575949281456,0.0,0.2473540093263908,0.0,0.5064339785633531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28452788712135024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12646703819717356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17541178564595433,0.1968764346802836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17946251658338022,0.2260285649539966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2899850057933496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2462373145989403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18322405968680208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453711808951409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SamTheMan2326,2020/03/12,Mindfulness practice Cures This mindfulness meditation by a great Buddhist master made my bipolar suffering vanish...without medication!   [https://youtu.be/Emb26-jq-E8](https://youtu.be/Emb26-jq-E8),26.45368421052631,34.931802000000005,14.82026315789474,5.729342105263157,29.0,16.431578947368422,62.131578947368425,13.023866798666859,12.445505263157894,174,10,7,6,2,43,18,19,0.138,0.667,0.195,0.3164,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38659300984381495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3317936344741193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3532431190135845,0.0,0.0,0.708113350990243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3380142155017713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,larrylovesmarvel1962,2020/03/12,"Asking for advice. Hey everyone, my name is Larry, I'm 20, and from Ohio. 

I guess I just wanted to come here and rant and see who related. I dunno, it's hard to talk about this to people I know since any kind of mental illness that people have around my area is shrugged off. (Small town Ohio is just like that, I guess.)

Well, I guess I should start with how I have kinda functioned my whole life.

I haven't always had real bad attention-span problems, but I acquired frequent mood swings, usually going from really high-high's to really low-low's... (like, I go from happy to sad at the flip of a switch), right around the time I was eleven. I am starting to notice the trigger for the mood change is literally any little negative thought that comes into my head, but I have yet to get a real/true diagnosis.

I went to group therapy weekly for about a month in the college-town I lived in (I wasn't a student), and they said that it seems as if that's what I probably have. (They are all trained professionals in there.) It made sense when they told me since I had all of these mood-swings and there's a history of bi-polar in my family.

I want to see a doctor when my insurance kicks in at my new job, especially since the mood-swings are becoming more frequent since my girlfriend left me and a lot has been going wrong for me since-- and I had my first panic attack in five years just last Monday.

All that aside, here's my question: what has been some of you guys' experience after being diagnosed and given medication for that sort of thing? How does the medication effect you? How does a doctor go about diagnosing you? 

I just wanna know what I am jumping into before I get this all going.

Thank you in advance,

Larry Stahl.

P.S. If any of you are uncomfortable sharing on here, feel free to send me a PM about it. I just wanna know what the general public thinks of this.",4.026978452983816,5.214328865951746,5.014399761691988,83.71752060371365,71.33243967828417,8.099652467480885,24.538675404627146,8.515128840125781,1.4582686724257767,1469,40,298,24,27,481,191,373,0.095,0.846,0.059000000000000004,-0.9201,1,0,0,0,0,0,59.0,0,5,3,4,23,16,1,1,17,0,25,9,1,6,4,59,58,18,0,8,9,0,2,2,1,1,8,1,0,1,21,15,0,0,9,0,1,11,3,6,1,3,13,5,47,9,50,43,8,49,0,1,2,0,22,21,0,12,19,201,68,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0851116474537513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07247293041712903,0.0,0.0,0.1776899029058177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550722642661494,0.0814253413046253,0.09908711920408654,0.0,0.0,0.07272361049880424,0.0,0.09619345173077053,0.07411440951907597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921386655517768,0.15005529332471512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17680629086985186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17829801356947866,0.15244097091034953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08322635053946491,0.0,0.08519904718704828,0.08210871548026473,0.0,0.04403961928661889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07408594073200117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09101074416755596,0.0,0.24750042744122275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2878464563411301,0.08624120991774394,0.0,0.09271797424957028,0.07802314929725393,0.0,0.08938819027678112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18404869737695886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08643182304495553,0.0,0.0,0.09069968605057177,0.1436011755154213,0.07099690346126845,0.0,0.0,0.09463277653542504,0.0,0.0615202472939209,0.08510385646344877,0.08729557992406707,0.07690957238770924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07404803115387931,0.0,0.08241470790653534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17548515371393544,0.08777480354856597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06952119278873456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08412027532394398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991622210424834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10219132488337708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12076626818815328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09390691577809676,0.0833415028576368,0.0,0.0,0.0975702549114538,0.0,0.0,0.19827432559094466,0.1115950604656346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07438164423266719,0.08285062011534337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388124577486756,0.07929120441453698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3602439017319246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12329753506146765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07000647613173068,0.0,0.08018859796654097,0.09960472697378236,0.0,0.05786437409934619,0.05580920276515053,0.0,0.06914648105433899,0.05078783654968433,0.0,0.0,0.08322635053946491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09592669402493006,0.0,0.10274590545063644,0.0,0.06986516406159307,0.0,0.07831201279987939,0.08074118332999812,0.0,0.09724236626157116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952285382461165,0.0,0.05608857921619196
bipolarreddit,itsPXZEL,2020/03/12,"Asking for a friend... Hi everyone, I wanted to ask a question for a friend of mine.

Not sure where to begin, but I’ve known this friend for a very long time. It seems like every year around the same time, since he was super young - he gets critically depressed and can barely hold himself together.

It’s every year around March-May without fail. He says he’s noticed this trend since highschool - closer to 30 than 20 now, and can’t seem to find stability in his life when these things happen.

Any advice you can give for him? I know he’s seen doctors in the past, but none of the treatments worked successfully - and is very against any pharmaceuticals as well as any marijuana. 

His work is getting influenced pretty badly right now and he’s worried he’s gonna get fired.

Any idea of what’s going on? Any advice you can lend? He’s doesn’t use reddit, so I’m gonna be passing along everything.

Many thanks 🙏🏼",4.373553932101416,5.668348117318437,4.876089385474863,84.62794585302967,70.62011173184358,7.518865492049849,25.50107434464977,7.882392219407189,1.2911259991405246,719,21,144,9,13,229,120,179,0.091,0.7340000000000001,0.175,0.9561,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,2,0,5,8,12,0,0,7,0,9,2,0,2,1,24,28,10,0,1,4,0,1,1,3,2,2,1,0,0,7,7,0,1,7,0,0,2,5,3,1,0,2,3,9,9,22,23,2,21,0,2,1,0,23,8,0,3,12,69,16,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23405908216508986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4072095969271727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.213226232420892,0.22392165139437425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09999584095896494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031503950748456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12258095882413672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20180843967727607,0.11443723510229513,0.10763390413898284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10945983137641024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27758228819567365,0.0,0.18771130524698595,0.11488613313123648,0.06806321416095062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10590468929401628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351961437769764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06581778237663538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08459108152035792,0.05850941418848786,0.0,0.0,0.10598514918049877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214193526398686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363492491158004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143258926422846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218404894486888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13416027649798584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10227565732697494,0.0,0.09523914300766737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2180527235019825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19813588273159144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11287378615910627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11026028870110148,0.0,0.0,0.07956421181431042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396677747828718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10343547440547322,0.0,0.1976315418929489,0.07063842918522055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076799614788367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154458017950882,0.0,0.1743755808366062,0.12162360554353968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15424494489334675
bipolarreddit,lma0mahn,2020/03/12,"Unpredictable difficulty expressing my thoughts I am having trouble figuring out if this is the bipolar or if this is an imperfect trait I was gifted with as part of being a human.  I feel like I cannot predict when I will be verbally fluent and that can make me really insecure about communication.  When I am not verbally fluent, my speech can be so broken.  It is like two completely different personalities. 

​

Has anyone experienced this as well? 

Is this part of the disorder? 

Is this a mood swing? 

Is this medication related ??",5.147395833333333,7.945966447916668,6.884583333333335,64.70208333333335,72.02083333333334,11.35,32.541666666666664,10.980518767755715,4.890029166666666,433,21,67,17,9,149,65,96,0.174,0.758,0.068,-0.9009999999999999,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,1,5,0,18,2,0,1,0,11,21,9,0,2,4,0,1,2,0,1,2,1,0,2,8,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,2,1,1,2,3,9,3,7,15,2,3,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,3,4,59,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24500099671759099,0.2747606299040916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15810840749316826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370825867756585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23624734145729226,0.25915318541978843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11433309936738073,0.16154022011938346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22094168467390085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15093689970805796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277921771586668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4897319918343238,0.0,0.0,0.19743931951462565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14485830422474824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17951407431200353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22088644766154575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20330909499548516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2747606299040916,0.0
bipolarreddit,bhadbitch04,2020/03/12,"Am I bipolar?  

Hi guys, this is a question that recently came to my mind . Im gonna tell you my background first:

So when I was a kid and did something wrong or when my mom would scold me I had these weird episodes where Id stand in front of the mirror to hit , bite and insult myself ,Id even do things to punish me cause I hated myself and needed to be hurt.

During my early teenage years I started to feel depressed , mainly because I am gay and my family is very conservative but for other things too , like they way I looked . My depression got worse and worse , I had episodes that lasted from a week to 3 months . Now Im in a better place with my family but Im still very depresse(not as much tho).

Now Im in the middle of an episode but Ive notice that I have this incredible energy during the day , Im jumping everywhere , talking a lot , but as the day progresses I start to feel down and at night I just feel totally miserable.

My anxiety and depression are literally ruin my life , Im failing in college cause I cant even focus , Im loossin my memory and I dont even have the energy to do my assigments, Am I bipolar or just depressed?",2.612125419932809,4.100425451063835,4.498365061590146,84.84105263157895,75.34042553191489,7.840985442329228,25.55991041433371,8.532816995589336,1.7155531914893616,891,31,186,17,19,304,132,235,0.226,0.7240000000000001,0.05,-0.9924,0,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,1,4,14,15,3,1,11,0,19,4,0,2,1,30,31,20,0,2,8,1,3,1,0,2,3,0,0,2,9,10,0,1,4,0,0,3,2,13,0,1,6,4,32,2,21,21,4,31,0,8,1,1,10,9,0,4,18,124,41,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06905748325254256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05502869469611107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07983784387687745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032465964912658,0.0,0.18546748204711264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11643535441472168,0.0,0.3110029905759382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1057975759991916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1788705081896935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17019995341374464,0.0,0.13693201337578798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07678492829564962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07219839933845806,0.0,0.0,0.08938301996621167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08912445966188516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09663755374026667,0.0,0.6825612992248556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07358335586514195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06376146041368827,0.044102116080754115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07580536058685193,0.0,0.0,0.0767456376527956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09114852482872267,0.1057249400467478,0.07205388432093172,0.0,0.06635997082576292,0.0669352052513473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08471372787185663,0.0,0.0,0.10277474993437634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09431454903674699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10112478768766077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08913225819705804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06949544401121431,0.0,0.0,0.12778932541293533,0.0,0.07209097078736268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07255684677678853,0.0789013073946181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11994480389102367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489669538256321,0.0,0.07165334897836413,0.07241038663785239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18398882870581265,0.06412631407589159,0.09869776112283528,0.0,0.05813191397406221
bipolarreddit,rachelanita,2020/03/13,"Does anyone else with bipolar struggle with finding/maintaining hobbies? All of this social distancing has made me realize how boring I actually am, haha. Since I was younger, I've struggled to find things that I'm interested in, and when I do, I can't maintain interest in it. I feel like I'm bored out of my mind a solid chunk of the time. Is anyone else this way or is it just me? Or is it more because of my ADHD?",2.7610756302521007,4.382729141176473,4.8327731092437,82.04176470588239,75.23529411764707,7.680672268907562,28.61344537815126,8.418075326091056,2.1568151260504203,327,14,65,6,7,113,62,85,0.139,0.748,0.113,-0.3226,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,3,8,0,2,2,1,8,1,0,2,1,14,12,5,0,0,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,2,1,9,4,10,10,2,6,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,2,3,44,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.2002759386712808,0.0,0.2466478874539984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2870046996502117,0.42056700910736255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12510696743542252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17959910968238527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34288848164297303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037710054901122,0.1466171315361457,0.0,0.0,0.18757749797170448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002655438370421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941946194170123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2072248958567373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16976927825423546,0.0,0.0,0.20920725065616114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42910419094130986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13634641669506042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11967189886742632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1629028863355664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BeNjOi213,2020/03/13,HITTING NEW LOW JUST WISH TO BE FINE SOMEDAY AND LIVE A REGULAR LIFE FOR A DAY,-0.002352941176472001,2.162502,2.301470588235297,93.70161764705885,87.8235294117647,5.752941176470588,26.14705882352941,7.1686216300943375,1.2803176470588236,62,3,14,1,2,21,16,17,0.113,0.645,0.242,0.34,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,7,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3245050375733489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35540605705683204,0.0,0.0,0.4443110857739311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4859677372326216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5786242585860286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,basicallyhermione,2020/03/13,"How do I support my brother with Bipolar 1? Hi r/BipolarReddit\-

My younger brother was just diagnosed with Bipolar 1 after years of struggling with his mental health. He was really successful on his medications (able to go to school, work and get good sleep with pretty minimal side effects), but within the past couple months has stopped taking almost everything and has really spiraled. He borrowed money from his friends, dropped out of school and can't get his work done. It makes me really sad to see him spiral like this, and I don't know how to support him through this time even though I disagree with his decisions.

​

People who live with Bipolar I- Any advice for the family members of those who also live with Bipolar I? How would you like to be supported?",7.314397163120568,8.415516609929078,6.671773049645393,75.13333333333334,63.751773049645394,9.670921985815603,35.52482269503546,9.725611199111238,3.6013460992907804,626,28,102,12,9,193,94,141,0.077,0.759,0.16399999999999998,0.9169,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,0,4,7,10,0,1,2,0,10,8,1,5,0,24,20,10,0,1,2,2,0,2,1,1,7,0,0,0,6,12,0,1,3,0,2,1,2,2,0,0,3,1,16,8,22,15,0,12,0,1,1,0,16,4,0,1,8,68,22,5,0.13471716091466707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13164405048798455,0.0,0.0,0.13489977680246293,0.0,0.0,0.1077332649114896,0.0,0.14596598756680645,0.16369609603938792,0.0916122890702646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14906197619072667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13673508255442768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13786242841494714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08897941423633322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12107509761742133,0.0,0.1269993497900635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10408214434230524,0.0,0.14076831266429352,0.0,0.07656286710599687,0.112994362962815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14319804239384035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0740370284805747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316319999925304,0.0,0.2379154424409077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08992475100643878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13571336665737896,0.13576321238757855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10752995256540182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12860277365754438,0.09339591690576553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13705578434380666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25890978873597503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2726819181032153,0.1073521353593682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13481445203714032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11262957875981365,0.0,0.14083562681957418,0.0,0.0,0.4586263132061394,0.0,0.0,0.10129053925029076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13235892660227452,0.0,0.07855465989605244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19615139523904068,0.0,0.0,0.09569920588960576,0.0,0.16369609603938792,0.086753434753427
bipolarreddit,AgentGengar007-,2020/03/13,"Nervous and on symbyax Last week my psychiatrist put me on generic symbyax to help with the anxiety, the paranoia, and depression. All seems to be going well but I’m honestly scared that it’ll poop out on me. Does anyone else on here have that fear? That meds that are currently working will just stop working? Are you still stable on those meds?",4.058512820512823,6.525273646153848,4.247307692307693,83.90685897435898,74.07692307692308,7.410256410256411,29.294871794871803,8.344100000000001,2.303871794871795,277,12,50,5,6,86,50,65,0.22699999999999998,0.6459999999999999,0.127,-0.7929,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,2,4,6,0,3,2,0,6,1,1,0,1,9,9,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,4,1,0,0,0,4,2,9,6,1,13,0,1,0,0,2,6,0,1,5,34,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17227752854884967,0.0,0.0,0.1574652086465897,0.2307442070449531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19396459320630965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970742034074401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881258612497541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25341282253961195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12798645741941655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15094693998927008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18356821149155367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.500293285517677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22638839113273415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254646761558232,0.0,0.0,0.20501379457102994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17984516221820024,0.18827744219861686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806420081313428,0.0,0.2024820157941108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.327896840119174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,OldFashioned913,2020/03/13,"My Struggle With Crippling Bipolar II Hey r/BipolarReddit,

I’ve been shying away from friends and family for a long time, so I decided to let them know what was going on through the only outlet I could think of, a blog. If you could take a look and maybe share it with anyone who you think could empathize it would be much appreciated. I just hope someone dealing with the hard times, are able to become aware that there ARE people who are rooting for them. Much love.

[What Train Am I On?](https://jeremythinkstoomuch.wordpress.com/2020/03/07/example-post-3/)",8.7466323024055,9.949799350515466,6.529432989690722,77.04439003436426,60.649484536082475,8.940893470790376,31.630584192439862,8.841846274778883,2.4348707903780067,455,15,77,6,6,130,74,97,0.055999999999999994,0.785,0.158,0.9022,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,2,2,0,3,5,0,1,5,0,12,2,0,1,0,17,20,4,0,6,2,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,7,5,0,0,4,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,2,9,4,12,12,2,6,0,0,1,1,11,2,0,2,3,53,16,0,0.18676121440986704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305877835299052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17546830874130578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20626308823228676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4473408984238524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1925426113991676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17606185162319168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14429125097184012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10614070206300248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16730136447024305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854960260353972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10263907921195384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19097599519349664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652777977200522,0.1568323830905005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16855928764954375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876267422880804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27458196322399925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14204031934134015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12947671064187902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1788656178366848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1582421709064322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1952433715082461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14042119051630814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393380902130482,0.0,0.0,0.21780393203259027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326698082757532,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,dollparts1607,2020/03/13,"Need advice for a friend who has Bipolar type 2 I care about this person a lot. We are in school (university) together but lately they have been lashing out, I’ve been getting the silent treatment and they’ve been threatening to drop out - even though they’re remarkably smart. 
This has been going on and off for a while now, and I keep reminding them how great they are and how good they’re doing, but it’s gotten to a point where the episodes (sorry if I haven’t got the right terminology) is getting worse and I constantly feel like they’re hating every single thing I’m saying. So I’ve taken a step back to give space. Is this the right thing to do? Do I wait for them to start talking again? Or do I just leave it be...I am worried this will ruin our friendship but I also feel lost with how to help or if I should at all... Any advice appreciated!!",3.5324776386404286,4.867018848837212,4.38860465116279,87.16390876565296,72.72093023255813,7.1527728085867635,23.114490161001786,7.61054688173877,0.8384636851520564,670,17,141,8,13,216,108,172,0.146,0.679,0.175,0.7673,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,2,0,4,1,13,9,1,0,9,0,19,1,0,3,1,28,36,19,0,4,8,0,2,1,1,2,1,1,0,1,9,9,0,2,2,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,8,3,14,6,17,26,3,21,0,2,0,0,13,11,0,5,8,96,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3229106526686323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321298560692151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11235822639340096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270473294096352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16845724036235984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17854882947031328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10912912744108183,0.0,0.1392086441752849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16708479547229593,0.1180363113942548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12765192591742747,0.0,0.1726458109918076,0.1584982556063195,0.0939008078820688,0.13858234898176874,0.13214500929509898,0.182160433398062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16312484291001478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11074640159677007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468589972904598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18638026779397954,0.17494873419958978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0807202734800859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803618999175046,0.1404678371530718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12251176481965413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14426753276970256,0.0,0.0,0.15619041960634936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28220139081185125,0.0,0.1313930377908404,0.0,0.1672158669899034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18495513700299016,0.11694664805062847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13280107702657226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21953543804724268,0.0,0.16233208875459604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16779335150206093,0.16837773207094509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Towndrunkislandwhore,2020/03/13,"Help deciding if I should go to the hospital. So I’m getting out of an abusive relationship with  a lady diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I have Bipolar Disorder, and I’m having a very hard time regulating my mood and feelings right now. I’m currently off of my meds, but I’m in therapy and I still see my psychiatrist every 2 months. 

Where the problem seems to be, is while I’m upset about the relationship ending. I realize that it’s not the end of the world, and eventually I’ll get over it. I’m super fixated on the fact that I believe my diagnosis is wrong, or that I have cluster B features in addition to bipolar. My anxiety is out of control and I’m unable to eat, because I end up getting sick. I can’t help but run into my ex as we live in a small community and have some common friends and hangouts. 

I’m sorry if I’m rambling on. I guess I’m experiencing emotional turmoil, and I feel powerless to stop it. I can’t keep my drinking under control, and unfortunately my spending is out of control too. At the same time I’m very afraid of my ex, and I’m afraid that she will hurt me physically if given the chance. I can’t seem to isolate myself from the world right now, because I don’t want to be stuck in my head. I enjoy the escape from my thoughts and grieving the loss of this relationship, so I’m going out more than my usual. Most of this is being amplified, because I’ve recently lost a friend that has been ill. I feel very lost, very stressed and I’m having trouble sleeping also. I’m not suicidal but I’m experiencing ideation. I guess I feel like I just need a break from the world, and to be able to feel safer than I do at home.",4.237706810311656,5.034760386430683,6.204868539181738,76.82876490958061,70.50442477876106,9.435475182762602,32.14326022829293,9.653516015845867,3.012538950878544,1317,59,264,30,23,461,168,339,0.2,0.6829999999999999,0.11699999999999999,-0.9812,2,0,1,0,0,0,33.0,1,0,0,7,10,19,0,5,18,0,23,9,2,3,1,57,62,25,2,7,10,2,6,1,2,2,5,0,1,1,10,22,2,5,10,2,1,3,6,13,0,0,6,9,35,5,43,50,4,43,0,5,1,0,12,24,0,10,16,165,45,0,0.09427055840284032,0.1116951964715788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07538813149573674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07211671914830764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17239937224404844,0.0,0.0,0.10621063721334706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31719734171120884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09568263239921784,0.0,0.0,0.2160844542956334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923492580583704,0.0,0.09646231591681127,0.0,0.10604168973292356,0.2504872012822805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07942701131023754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2383301342091319,0.06734690575913732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456663991476069,0.0,0.14775742767501926,0.0,0.10715226161241014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20769929647491728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08444790370421616,0.0,0.09674878997807183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12637513631867486,0.0,0.09456105642955832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10091858252030504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08379200377896089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04605583304579389,0.0,0.08324263018640163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20581490107245706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047133386094286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07524586032355826,0.0,0.0,0.06990042455779788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08231341541241456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09020419287451238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930808035378992,0.3036338998591046,0.0,0.16101308358089106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07512142979672258,0.17164075163076778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09433863947269752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10552817208768688,0.0,0.0,0.07528458971475288,0.07881440798095339,0.107986606143484,0.0,0.0,0.10311669016193484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078065992942784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07484029324829808,0.10993984141688994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10382570163655536,0.3111323339755938,0.055603217811942544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10307005677332162,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,nutterbear081,2020/03/13,Lamictal experience question Did anyone experience the feeling of a brick wall inside their head? I would still have my emotions but wouldn't be able to react. It felt like I was still able to feel everything but not able to release any of it or deal with it? Anyone have anything similar on lamictal or another med?,6.301779661016947,7.606194050847463,6.962500000000002,71.41629237288137,66.11864406779661,10.645762711864409,35.08898305084746,10.686352973137794,4.14170847457627,255,12,43,7,4,84,43,59,0.0,0.9129999999999999,0.087,0.6174,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,7,1,1,1,0,13,10,4,0,2,5,0,3,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,3,4,1,7,4,0,4,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,3,3,30,7,0,0.557671956260026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12641201788101514,0.1949225568174152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25995813222389463,0.0,0.15297216775728484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19164509987022024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2091019633997644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670665317970633,0.3636734547206049,0.0,0.0,0.18798379816833904,0.0,0.1784841775502496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19077743849535428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090816782910026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064826084205421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2082400734113645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2969050297623266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320513857790111,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ThrowawayAcc628678,2020/03/13,"Ia having absolutely zero desire to sleep different from mania/hypomania making it hard to sleep? The last 2 days I have had absolutely no desire to sleep.   If I laid down i'd probably instantly fall asleep, but instead i'm choosing to stay awake. Then again i've been in bed for 45 minutes and I feel fine so I have no clue. Is this just me actively being an idiot without realizing it or does this count as manic/hypomanic sleep issues?",4.035546218487397,5.973747647058822,6.082184873949583,73.08411764705886,72.52941176470588,9.092436974789916,27.43697478991597,9.606745405546679,2.802579831932773,350,13,62,9,7,122,67,85,0.126,0.769,0.105,-0.4344,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,4,2,1,0,2,0,7,5,5,1,0,12,10,7,0,3,5,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,2,2,5,1,10,7,0,8,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,4,40,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12955029694010398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20987573568011936,0.0,0.0,0.17579051265518605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10157042696988428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1799480721229807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20966542165769653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637431457154253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13408825120358725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21658147108243395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8040960428941609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21411022049497305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1936401281941835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,salsiladox,2020/03/14,"BPII Newbie looking for More Info Recently (25f) diagnosed with bipolar II. Does anyone has any advise or access to resources I can read about? I'm trying to understand it more. 

I also have a borderline and OCD diagnosis. Anyone else?",3.040714285714288,6.151778309523812,5.1209523809523825,70.81571428571431,87.33333333333331,7.561904761904763,26.04761904761905,8.344100000000001,3.0451619047619043,187,8,26,5,6,64,37,42,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,5,6,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,5,6,2,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,17,3,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24304124370654265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20667307068743465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4250097920867951,0.31139750902534313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30846799778738265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2659586423431856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2538825365397275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552126115016947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30399790415175737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3000800498462373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20633878376723486,0.0,0.0,0.31638692048990136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,geecalla,2020/03/14,Could compulsive lying be a symptom of bipolar disorder? Compulsive lying cos you want to please a person you like or cos youre just afraid of rejection,3.0967857142857165,6.2217765357142865,4.418571428571429,75.8514285714286,87.2142857142857,8.514285714285714,28.42857142857143,8.841846274778883,3.620042857142858,125,6,19,4,4,41,21,28,0.35,0.485,0.16399999999999998,-0.836,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,3,0,0,1,3,0,1,2,0,2,2,0,2,0,6,3,1,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,3,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,12,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3378391370446169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4849497567741855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20672255305356854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36946545658383895,0.0,0.4644755366369242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4397996324438239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2495761857710696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bornoverit,2020/03/14,"I hate everything about working Does anyone else with Bipolar II hate every single thing about holding a job? 

I work as an art consultant at an art gallery - which is technically my dream job that I've been striving for since college. But, how can I possibly hate my dream job as much as I do?  It stems from deep rooted apathy. I don't give a two shits about anything. I don't care about the art we have (mostly because its literally the worst pop art on the planet). I don't care about selling the paintings and I don't care about the people buying them. Whenever a person walks in to the gallery, my whole body clenches and I get this sinking feeling of dread and I just want them to leave. I'd rather that they leave the gallery than buy a painting.  I get 10% commission on whatever I sell, so I could potentially make a few thousand dollars each shift, yet there seems to be no amount of money that could convince my body to snap out of it's heavy coffin state. It's strange because when I'm manic I could sell bread to a baker, but when I'm not manic I don't care about ANYTHING and it's evident. I don't even care enough to put on a front for the clients. When I try to make myself engage more in a conversation with a client, I feel my energy level leaking like a deflating balloon. I get short of breath and exhausted just trying to express myself or forcing a grin on my face.  I haven't sold anything in 2 months and I know my job is on the line, so why can't that snap me out of my depressive episode enough for me to at least PRETEND that I enjoy my job? Just today, a mutual client of my boss and mine came into the gallery to say hi, but also told me that my boss told him that I don't know how to close a sale. Not only is this hurtful to know that my boss is talking shit behind my back (TO A CLIENT), but it's also hard for me to hear because I know this is only reflective of my depressive episode. I know this means that I need to look for a new job, but I hate working. I'd rather get fired and file for unemployment, then apply to another gallery for another sales position (with hopefully much better art). When I'm in a depressive episode I honestly don't even feel like I have the choice to ""try harder"" or to ""turn things around"", even if it were to save my job. I don't care about losing my job, I don't care about not making money, I don't want another job, I don't want any job, I don't want to work every a-fucking-gain. 

Do any of you guys experience concerning levels of apathy at work as well?

xo,

Depressive Me",4.163096093399194,4.609379148854964,5.193107319263582,85.28060844185002,70.48854961832059,8.531118096093403,28.00718455321061,8.583994105835817,1.803068432869332,1990,66,429,31,34,656,226,524,0.162,0.736,0.102,-0.986,12,0,0,0,0,0,54.0,1,1,3,7,32,33,6,1,29,0,31,9,6,9,0,67,76,31,1,12,16,0,5,2,0,0,2,2,0,2,23,19,1,1,11,8,11,4,19,15,1,2,6,8,64,18,71,66,13,36,0,6,1,0,18,21,2,6,12,275,87,21,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09005722229901003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07658125175079603,0.17712809643138944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039371096795644565,0.057693077656223286,0.13900735412172774,0.050125082721891416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043296533908072685,0.0,0.10297249900184917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04979888125835402,0.0,0.1250885547329702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06440009836596841,0.401860492252054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13486944441830429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19398821719895726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04927455153406622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04703719352794622,0.0,0.0,0.11636016817258353,0.0,0.11157053804830744,0.0,0.09488199100035463,0.0,0.0506050150339572,0.05507895700481305,0.0,0.0,0.08541138817681848,0.040225663793272914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11767213438374892,0.05401471349392207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05575268796931533,0.0,0.0,0.050439926588484715,0.22236564357934,0.0,0.0,0.0634619735819034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05592546101048241,0.0,0.0,0.06027770578612932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5587591437365751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15472401067838995,0.0,0.0,0.11924176348523036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05501741869017812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04728361848590286,0.06299302333673404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127558878618878,0.0,0.0,0.06133472588612116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04494363393674346,0.0,0.0827841070597122,0.04175085619115504,0.0,0.05438155919312771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08564787624856976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03903611784861714,0.049165017111518286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06347757450510731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056603991048597625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04477751041624303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0512596910763578,0.0,0.0,0.11559645654210868,0.04657765322463625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04525735693326188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07481561069882017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05337236162977172,0.10760732037218224,0.0,0.1146860761279074,0.061245743112351765,0.05500366393927894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13284508443649545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05062666929238417,0.0,0.05080822329185973,0.06286464798847617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20496048527602145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,toetasterthrowaway,2020/03/14,"is anyone else like this 
TLDR: does anybody else who’s otherwise stable on meds have a certain point where they can still get destabilized?

background: i am bipolar 1 with ocd. i take 750mg of lithium and 200 lamotragine. i feel the healthiest i have ever felt in my life(mentally anyways). i havent been suicidal in over a year since starting lithium and i havent had a manic episode in at least over 2 years. im handling school better than i ever have, im now taking 5 classes and i never dreamed id be able to handle that. my mood is usually so stable i forget that im even ill sometimes.

so im pretty resilient usually, i can handle stress decently and i have healthy coping mechanisms and some habits to keep me going. but i find that if i get super overwhelmed by too many highly stressful or triggering things that it can destabilize me kinda badly. not to the point of being suicidal, but i get a lot of self harm urges. the most recent example is with this whole coronavirus thing it’s completely derailed my school life, put some of my in person classes in jeopardy of potentially just being incompletes, and i depend so heavily on this semester because i am transferring next semester. its derailed a lot of my other big plans for my year now and on top of my folks being a lot older im terrified for them. it just feels like it’s crushing my sense of direction and i have had some pretty strong self harm urges. this is not the first set of circumstances to destabilize me in this way. im safe now dw.

otherwise when life is mostly normal i feel very normal and my mood is stable.

the problem is theres not much i would really want to adjust med wise. lithium has made me a functional person and there are a lot of issues with going up on dose. nog looking for redditor psychiatry so please no med advice. ive talked it over with my psychiatrist, rn i take lorazepam as needed and it does the trick for the most part.

does anybody else who’s otherwise stable on meds have a certain point where they can still get destabilized?

thanks for any input ^_^",4.159906716417911,5.948453432835822,5.189474502487563,80.23182369402987,71.88557213930348,8.408084577114428,27.98538557213931,9.017664075816787,2.413932587064677,1648,62,301,34,32,541,204,402,0.11900000000000001,0.727,0.155,0.8954,0,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,3,6,21,20,1,3,16,0,32,5,0,3,5,59,52,21,2,7,9,0,4,2,0,1,5,0,0,4,21,15,0,2,6,1,0,3,7,8,0,1,5,5,38,10,43,42,14,48,0,1,1,0,10,24,0,15,21,205,59,5,0.07250258126101998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07084868329492662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04930424147694284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05069549058668587,0.0742874624605723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060536626918109224,0.044196900592088265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06412264126560109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07601757703284605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903424923433753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18169980994666468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047887271134774485,0.13116547120341046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10997845063317302,0.051795858539573386,0.06961384793362005,0.0,0.06626604577756512,0.061670658582662775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15151842510078375,0.0,0.08240977550655695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07660295777020136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4698913756038655,0.07567385807452696,0.0,0.06444362551717699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536321519021588,0.07084219791459373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0608839080175615,0.0,0.0,0.2465564074851111,0.0,0.0686036954282531,0.0,0.07350623766856862,0.0,0.0,0.3221360929761526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05329773948076935,0.053759745328174915,0.05591846031085562,0.0,0.07710731769494586,0.0,0.14207427176044116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07851323018071843,0.0,0.0,0.12661291480439285,0.0,0.07958606210806977,0.20561512259084835,0.0,0.0,0.14752238058184625,0.0,0.06937517857931777,0.0,0.07288511951464045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0464470100905059,0.0,0.07158755221868124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14675296592846124,0.0,0.0,0.1512720089613452,0.0,0.0,0.05997488444011755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07170690675335123,0.0,0.05131770018528773,0.0,0.11580131010090555,0.0,0.16610292374769287,0.0,0.0,0.15861211250887944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16353875415215632,0.058274828468641286,0.0,0.06675063579614987,0.0,0.0,0.0963349867443564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15970270034297296,0.059822222624907676,0.04276390090485657,0.05754917428762441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08094654276148262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05150375352714855,0.0,0.0,0.14006785572478928
bipolarreddit,bucketofno,2020/03/15,"Depakote and dry mouth/thirst? Has anyone had any experience with dry mouth/thirst with Depakote?

It doesn’t seem to be a super common side effect in fact there’s not a lot of info online that I can find about this as a side effect.",4.942695035460993,5.454740574468089,5.332765957446809,84.73333333333333,68.78723404255321,7.117730496453903,22.04964539007092,6.42735559955562,0.4097858156028367,185,3,37,1,3,59,38,47,0.0,0.899,0.10099999999999999,0.644,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,3,0,5,0,0,2,1,11,6,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,7,4,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,2,1,23,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3281278621062565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33738685448423883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4719938626190938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4410114683824159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4102183932518383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43926502794302014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Coppertone15,2020/03/15,"A bit of a ramble, let’s build each other up in a tough time. We got this friends. Hey guys, I’m mostly a lurker around here. I don’t know about y’all, but all the uncertainty surrounding Coronavirus is making it more challenging to manage my moods, which have been stable for a while. Just a gentle reminder to the internet folk that have given me comfort in my own challenging moments, get your sleep, take your meds, eat healthy, be gentle with yourself. The unknown is scary AF, but we can be kind to ourselves and each other, and if we have to grasp on to the very last thread available, it’s what we do. Take care, lean on all your healthy coping mechanisms, reach out to the friends and families you trust. We can do this.",6.417676056338028,6.2173405915492985,6.12404929577465,82.77086267605638,65.61971830985915,9.353521126760565,31.13028169014085,8.841846274778883,2.2701239436619725,572,19,115,8,8,178,96,142,0.051,0.669,0.28,0.9903,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,5,5,0,2,4,10,0,0,11,0,14,2,1,1,2,23,23,7,0,1,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,9,13,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,14,8,17,17,8,12,0,0,0,0,14,8,0,2,4,81,23,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20809949740851466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552097149114298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2383379507107322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2391989043064362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22037186991705876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36121093236472,0.0,0.12213202799140105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18696240449087775,0.0,0.0,0.23146308625484235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24342920600991275,0.12847056647406024,0.19054883860460786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23903950107337366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15603926763304826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2596590764340022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2339327952180801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3515228318316991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13630965292820815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19287976002319884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,HamboPlayz,2020/03/15,"Lithium makes my emotions go away. Everything is flat and I'm just irritable. I've been on medication for some years now, with antidepressants, meds for attention, anxiety, etc. 
None have really worked. They do help but they never really stop my depressive episodes, they just make them less severe or long. 
Changed from a neurologist to a psychiatrist in late July of 2019. Been on some very strong meds since then, but in early February changed my med combo and started on lithium. What I've noticed is that it makes my emotions flat, but I'm irritable every second I'm awake. 
Been with a girl since before I started medication all those years ago. And even though we've been through a lot, I've always loved her like no one else. But since I've started with the lithium I just feel that I can't feel that anymore, I just feel bland, and she'sobviously noticed, but I can't bring myself to tell her how I can't feel, since I fear she'll leave. 
I'm conscious I haven't been treating her the same, and it's because I don't feel that same feeling she's always given me. My sex drive has pretty much died off, but she's still the only one that can still really move me. I'm still committed to her, and faithfull, but I just can't feel the same.
Anything makes me irritated, or react badly now. Whenever anyone makes a mistake I see pure idiocy. I'm unapologetically condescending, mean, selfish, unempathetic, etc. 
I've isolated myself more and more. No friends anymore, no going out, no texting (when I do I just stop replying eventually). Can't even go out because I can't drink with the lithium, since it gives me terrible hangovers, and afraid to not drink since I can't blend in. 

I've always been treated for sever chronic clinical  depression and anxiety, but my psychiatrist argues that if it were that we should've seen improvement, but we really just manage symptoms. He says my episodes line up more with manic depression/bipolar syndrome, but without the mania, just the depression in bursts. 

Has anyone gone through something like this? Is it normal for my emotions to go flat? I really don't think it's the depression doing this.",5.272026468155502,6.945912650124072,5.899620347394543,76.69148180314313,68.90074441687345,9.045789909015717,30.80306038047973,9.473421319101043,2.9175297601323407,1710,70,306,37,30,555,186,403,0.174,0.7240000000000001,0.102,-0.9854,0,0,3,0,0,0,57.0,2,0,4,2,18,18,1,2,13,0,28,9,0,7,4,73,62,26,1,3,23,0,7,2,1,1,5,1,0,1,17,18,2,2,11,2,0,8,18,11,0,3,10,10,43,7,31,51,15,39,0,4,2,2,22,12,0,6,21,196,60,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0644501784195747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18149360972530268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11124098371465596,0.0,0.14421118852851628,0.1016765497986194,0.0,0.059831489400686964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06831041828552528,0.0,0.06070712888116425,0.0886427631331828,0.0,0.06186811930493895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15382827684778316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2504889910579929,0.0,0.07545816436968839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14244993994534513,0.0,0.0,0.060737189707407324,0.24535604267567895,0.0,0.0,0.16217456988131732,0.09604429214328647,0.0,0.06125860255439305,0.0,0.06534417059635021,0.0,0.0,0.08181534731391467,0.25733914720418033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05617308207694503,0.0,0.0,0.06974697371182306,0.1652837667850894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04873382568975699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08201642086533431,0.07698598775398129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0710417256125593,0.0,0.0,0.06434321716870489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061812708965115676,0.06562071252550912,0.0,0.24266171930608274,0.0,0.0,0.07919900407289084,0.24228254416989914,0.14648887438582225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07727580654042786,0.05344785305118944,0.0,0.05607595516544856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07123721262274818,0.0,0.1655543142503223,0.0,0.0,0.0985359989663098,0.05529678662328413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07396893935759792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328891425948932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05781935402164092,0.0,0.0,0.05793789461950995,0.0,0.0,0.1642759447757517,0.0,0.36086282550209203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05597323556683227,0.0,0.0,0.15438671087080014,0.0,0.17419119832394464,0.12157225645081543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07557018900710412,0.0,0.0,0.06354893515922204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04658757234109999,0.0714340475460773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059990712461740814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0700867466201897,0.0,0.05293140573676367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936415720804935
bipolarreddit,Mazzy1978,2020/03/15,"Corona quarantine and I got this! Belgian here, 

I just got an email to inform me that i might've come into contact with someone who's infected. So i might have the virus. So i'm going to live as though i have the virus. I think it's my responsability.

​

Anyways, i'm so prepared for this because i've had to live like this for a lot of times. When -in a mixed episode- i feel good, i get as many supplies as i can because i know my mood could change overnight. And i might not be able to go to the store or even cook or even get out of my pijama's. My freezer stocked. 

So Corona, i got this!

Stay safe, take care of eachother",0.8142857142857132,2.924192045112786,2.3104887218045107,95.41806390977443,83.4360902255639,5.003007518796993,22.281954887218046,6.1826913282559595,0.17490375939849612,494,17,113,4,14,160,81,133,0.026000000000000002,0.856,0.11800000000000001,0.8853,0,1,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,0,11,5,0,0,6,0,8,2,0,0,0,19,23,13,0,1,4,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,7,6,1,1,4,1,1,3,1,0,0,0,4,1,17,4,17,15,1,9,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,5,3,72,24,1,0.15680542941441156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16989861725789848,0.19053575994804367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1911742687112976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15987358582203764,0.0,0.16587935266249215,0.13507399293891836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12519637601348932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20713701452198569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07928553658791372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16384872992720195,0.0,0.17823227823749804,0.13152095460959987,0.3762348790538744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08617616318990866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07660721226370258,0.0,0.2769241339631333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13331036867291252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589760938408767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4990373425564676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13286073148997932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1671337241295029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178981682431665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10047458764302032,0.15406053825500876,0.0,0.0914345068874034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19053575994804367,0.0
bipolarreddit,LeftistUU,2020/03/15,"Tip: check if you can order medication through a mail order pharmacy Hey all,

This is for the US context, as I don't know how pharmacies work in other countries.

My insurance allows for me to get a 3-month supply from a mail order pharmacy, while in-person I can only get a month. I didn't use this feature initially, but realize that if your meds are relatively stable, it's more convenient. In a time of COVID-19 I'm trying to avoid the pharmacy as much as possible, so getting it delivered to my mailbox is helpful. As is having three months of meds on hand, given the uncertain nature of how long social distancing will be necessary.",8.427548209366392,7.417713586776857,9.24359504132232,64.70963498622591,61.892561983471076,13.025344352617081,40.00137741046832,12.161744961471696,5.1710815426997225,508,24,85,15,6,174,86,121,0.047,0.863,0.09,0.7351,0,1,0,0,0,0,16.0,1,2,0,1,3,2,0,2,8,0,11,2,1,4,1,12,18,11,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,6,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,2,2,0,1,2,1,9,0,17,14,3,11,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,3,5,62,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32408207198035044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13859173332062424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11363387654092445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829825150934221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4593436184495925,0.2082962575374568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4951189535169261,0.0,0.15199772420467442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572558155801101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805411926722698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330990139411553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21077317881512525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12056764983057625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403813943565459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24871555054970385,0.17858052192162527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15052902505245308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,suicideenby,2020/03/15,"Odd/unexpected response from new psych about side effects, DAE taking trileptal... CW: former rec drug use, hospitalization, lemme know if anything else should or shouldn't be here
TLDR: calm my anxious mind DAE taking oxcarbazebine have mild physical discomfort or pain when you miss a dose?


This may be difficult for me to accurately paint a complete picture of, and sorry for bringing this all up in the middle of the system breakdown, but the more I think about this weird interaction with my new, very random clinic psychiatrist, the more disturbed I get. It's nothing big, just gives me that heebiejeebies ""lunatics running the asylum"" feeling I would get as a kid when I could tell the adults weren't doing what they were supposed to/didn't know what they were doing and I realize now this is exactly the neglect that caused another disorder... Anyway! Backstory because I'm still kind of new to effectively navigating mental health pros and not great communicating with ANY Dr because: autism and I just keep replaying this one in my brain.  

Former MDMA use is a potential difference here, but keep in mind I've also been getting the wrong depression meds Rxed on and off for 1mo or more at a time for about 15 years as my hypomania can be productive (and head injuries or something bring my baseline affect to grumpy/sad. think George Carlin or Aubrey Plaza generally. I'm *not* a bubbly person.) so I only ever complained about the depression. Stigma prevented me from accepting friends' armchair bipolar diagnoses over the years, and so many of the the wrong meds and bad fit therapists made me very distrustful of mental health help, so it wasn't until I was hospitalized at 38 after my symptoms once again worsened after a simple outpatient surgery (again would have been great for everyone to have understood this before the surgery) and an emergency psych Dr magically, just by looking at my fkn cheekbones somehow (it's crazy triggering to think about but trust me dude looked at my face gestured to his own cheeks and told me he'd seen this bipolar before), put me on a med that basically felt like nothing (which had never happened) but also stopped my random crying spells, trileptal or oxcarbazepine, but at the hospital they gave me way too much and after with my regular psych at that time who was amazing at listening, we worked out that because I'm just sensitive to most medications I really only need half of the lowest dose to see improvement. Now the other reason it helps me to maintain the lowest effective dose instead of stepping up, is that I forget or miss a dose often because of sleep or adhd issues that I also struggle with. So if I miss a dose it's much much better for me to miss a low dose than a much larger one. It's probably not ideal long term but with my ability to self care it's the best I can do for myself. 


Now I explained that last bit to the new doc and that if I miss it feels really bad like physically, but if I am doing well at taking it then I have to choose to miss one somewhere every few weeks to ""tolerance break"" essentially and make the medication more effective again. This almost never happens and I don't ever stop taking it because I feel better or think I don't need it as mania often does, and I dislike missing doses because I like not crying every day and it's physically uncomfortable on top of the low.  My nerves or something ache in my hands. 
Now when he asked me ""what does it feel like?"" after I said I didn't like how it felt, my brain stuttered because it's initial response was ""exactly like coming down off ecstacy, guy"" but first, I have no idea what this Dr thinks of those users and I'm just not inclined to reveal my former recreational drug use on the first visit, it's never worked out for me and hasn't hurt me to withhold until I know their harm reduction stance. 
Because my brain had to fluster there a second to try to explain, it didn't initially strike me as odd that this dude had never heard of an uncomfortable withdrawal side effect I have from such a widely distributed med. 


Now it's bugging me. 


DAE have former MDMA/e/molly experience and/or take this medication and know what I'm talking about with the like achey nerves? Did I just fry my CNS out somehow by hella overdosing my autistic system with those early aughts club drugs? (This one is basically rhetorical) This could prob be crossposted to askdrugnerds, but the oxcarb withdrawal experience is really the bit I want to sus out is normal. Am I alone or does anyone else notice that it makes like your extremeties achey when you've missed a dose? 

Basically I'm just trying to figure out if my brain is extra weird, I'm the poor communicator here as usual, or if this guy dispensing my meds now is the total dingus he seemed like.",8.490741316492587,7.886317125139666,8.307093757590483,70.15903266941949,61.54748603351955,11.268642215205247,35.54590721399077,10.568078804390687,3.7362421666261834,3837,144,661,78,46,1237,400,895,0.163,0.718,0.11900000000000001,-0.9915,2,1,6,0,0,0,86.0,1,2,4,14,50,52,1,3,44,0,53,34,9,16,10,154,123,66,0,17,39,0,7,9,1,5,25,3,0,6,54,33,0,7,31,1,1,7,18,29,1,8,24,14,75,23,99,87,18,97,0,14,4,0,35,36,0,28,59,448,129,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06195454622177773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05162109835704912,0.05339151490518414,0.0,0.12367647143995493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03505659606639321,0.054055946998714514,0.0,0.058238202968529836,0.0,0.03604581031261176,0.05282031497220212,0.04242226003792837,0.0,0.04819343000931417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08608622761522672,0.2514011525224171,0.0,0.08773257933243299,0.0,0.05409982292588431,0.09118572626696453,0.11256115700721236,0.0,0.0,0.23019283359030754,0.0,0.0,0.05255990254923965,0.05295730141288674,0.0,0.044406809725960436,0.054050471362238985,0.0,0.0,0.08231890576485593,0.0,0.11325318482177928,0.033246270940856304,0.0,0.08880197720080893,0.05232340121464511,0.0,0.0538600507844362,0.059082162116865476,0.0,0.13533845503885852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17934913966039515,0.0,0.08612885560930182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09326205624695494,0.08686824924979145,0.04925939806194597,0.0,0.10085396638640864,0.0,0.0,0.10426337922422428,0.036828200502446055,0.09899450734994092,0.0,0.0,0.08769887954130269,0.0,0.0,0.03982834321641833,0.0,0.08080015125866392,0.04945262578784375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11367079986748599,0.0,0.10208762155604917,0.09117314380930948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05290642228500675,0.1095930683676915,0.0,0.0,0.06910738966261494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055186645170794385,0.05819505038545445,0.0,0.05380607825687524,0.0,0.09164218254391313,0.0,0.05368266072342152,0.11332480512123767,0.042021123191095744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.226667890846462,0.0,0.0,0.04562120578560019,0.08658007937565526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04877900901111807,0.06882167675093999,0.05226484385754899,0.0,0.0,0.2863089095273945,0.15579728628117914,0.10390300571350077,0.0,0.10410406933693106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15158430741525272,0.07644915001819258,0.15903790968483286,0.19915395066122712,0.0,0.0,0.050509248366207626,0.09892956819884108,0.05869140347229467,0.0,0.05490036481390631,0.13972975812959926,0.07841404868546913,0.054854130676692536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04501253521121484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055580932181922435,0.0,0.0,0.05182321272035875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09907509105455066,0.053003238037652466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04903701351179067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041079646457384066,0.04693029281891562,0.053779163368629083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05158844776112219,0.0,0.0,0.07937329249748265,0.0,0.057707368089062835,0.0,0.0,0.04116886935645345,0.0861982532645258,0.0,0.05389252611496663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053581454202240836,0.1938005018694123,0.041434916373652785,0.04505803682077507,0.0,0.0,0.05985493750988746,0.0,0.1651596950189954,0.0,0.0,0.06011985966198617,0.0,0.0,0.04925939806194597,0.0,0.06999978634176833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335711021743283,0.056776383622634624,0.08507030760572505,0.030406244074273118,0.040918957406518186,0.04135127762860695,0.0,0.04635073611346492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07505980148013164,0.0,0.0,0.07324101250593974,0.11272632866674435,0.0,0.06639458855111666
bipolarreddit,Neme30s,2020/03/15,"Are psychedelics really bad for people with bipolar disorder? Hey I’m a bipolar and I have tried psychedelics quite a few times, and after each use I felt better for the next weeks coming.
But my doctor highly avoids me to use them
What is your thoughts?",4.587500000000002,6.7229560833333375,3.84,88.905,71.5,6.466666666666668,24.5,7.1686216300943375,0.9701499999999994,204,6,38,2,4,60,40,48,0.174,0.769,0.057,-0.7137,0,1,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,1,2,0,3,0,1,3,0,3,3,0,2,0,11,9,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,5,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,1,6,1,5,7,2,6,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,4,23,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2167988287785274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2296413631267149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22366746935200316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2975840364591351,0.26576513631729365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24930693147458105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27433691586444536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2761431717880757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18001021483645713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2761721873308429,0.0,0.0,0.1663399151972545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2061349265240869,0.15140534696565833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17628687089731718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4485124479219153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20827741688130424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,19hannahf,2020/03/15,"LAMOTRIGINE HELP I don’t have bipolar but I’m on lamotrigine to regulate my moods. I went off but couldn’t cope anymore so I started taking them again without the assistance of a psychiatrist (bad idea, I know. But he sucked and I haven’t been able to find another one) I’ve been cutting them up to get back on. I’ve been taking 25 for the past two weeks, but not working and I feel like a horrible person. I’m freaking out and I don’t know too many people that I can talk to for help. It’s been a while so I can’t exactly remember the steps I took the first time and I need to up the dosage so I can feel normal again but I’m nervous I’ll develop the rash if I’m too quick about it. Any advice? I hate feeling this way and just want to feel okay again",-0.03426864707781618,2.105413619631907,2.306709719082985,93.80466903454958,87.65030674846625,5.885566677429773,20.235389086212464,7.273561745256523,0.4898907975460118,592,19,138,10,19,201,94,163,0.158,0.7509999999999999,0.09,-0.9311,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,2,2,12,9,3,1,9,1,12,2,1,0,1,29,32,15,0,5,9,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,6,0,0,9,0,0,3,7,6,0,3,6,4,16,2,17,25,0,21,0,0,0,0,7,6,1,1,12,85,20,1,0.17143315561510408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16752249557429774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11658042451166795,0.17976261119463352,0.0,0.0,0.17001562490710312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13182151473084205,0.14313952417091805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34672701787591603,0.12247188062539452,0.0,0.0,0.15668679845872732,0.1458209545895394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08956674816632842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16925474925408393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2298160611059521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935271657740328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18843035792344096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08375358041037075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17380631229596688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12711551266697235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16796809379740732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116167542969734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16365234510050838,0.11885016465618115,0.14968881899804265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942003464154808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213412699059802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577927958062004,0.13779147671090153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09996405166808528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1904685437322192,0.0,0.0,0.16746528282417655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10111571686169278,0.13607565937070018,0.13751333674589752,0.0,0.0,0.15892025277049224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16525544440653595,0.0,0.12480537904682487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Flyingbangtan,2020/03/15,"How does one deal with the added stress of having a period? I'm a woman who was very recently diagnosed with bipolar. My meds, and some changes in behaviour in general, were really working for me, and I was very slowly moving towards some emotional stability. But then I got my period and my hormones made me relapse in every way. I was having many drastic mood changes within a day, and I guess that has happened before, but in contrast with my recent almost stability, it was very scary. I raised my dosage by myself to keep the situation under control, and it feels like I fucked up by doing that, even though it did help and there were no side effects. There's still some weeks until I see my psychiatrist, so what, really, can I do at this point? And how does everyone else cope with hormones and bipolar?",6.8027450980392175,7.092653326797388,7.313202614379088,72.90941176470591,64.75163398692811,10.460130718954249,32.68627450980392,10.25414643259724,3.3574,641,24,113,14,9,211,100,153,0.102,0.846,0.052000000000000005,-0.8744,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,3,8,4,1,1,5,0,13,4,0,5,0,27,22,16,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,8,12,0,2,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,1,9,2,17,1,19,13,3,22,0,0,1,1,4,11,1,5,10,86,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14650812692893228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12449886071518952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3095527297174669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1640988779066336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09435771492551956,0.150838975894547,0.0,0.14850136379288936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2560733780085101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12222306102993002,0.16457882846009894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09663624080036834,0.0,0.12327231395924615,0.139805280658405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07397862929884808,0.10452374795391647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13526104938931202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11701731002754096,0.0,0.16117673611162586,0.0,0.12938126997350166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09806837260984956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300468697829884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07147957624516528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13844186720394575,0.0,0.14833516956264028,0.0,0.0,0.1625172008847645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555041592215109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09914330473077217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13831004933067687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18745960440848167,0.0,0.288926546473841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11658996512909785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16445834156388145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11684319259301988,0.0,0.1675973777222716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14374863234369134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3621627150891761,0.0,0.1161339064126112,0.1173608935939693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10651527449541286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Masian,2020/03/15,"I ruin everything. I'm a complete fuck up who can't do anything right. I'm never well enough to make it through uni or hold down a full time job. I'm a fuck up. I'm always going to be a fuck up. I fuck up my friendship and my relationships. I fuck up everything. I have tried rTMS, ECT, every therapy, every drug. I'm done. I'm fucked. Write me off as a human. I'm only still here because of guilt and cowardice.",-0.9455992509363328,1.1527398988764048,2.01935393258427,93.79472378277157,93.83146067415731,4.764419475655432,18.652621722846447,6.42735559955562,0.046639700374532016,317,10,72,4,12,111,56,89,0.313,0.6559999999999999,0.031,-0.9792,1,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,3,9,6,1,5,0,5,7,0,1,1,7,20,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,8,1,0,1,0,7,1,12,18,2,13,0,1,0,6,4,9,6,1,3,40,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11594499551949113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11466786815778444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08494253425672547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14609906022192176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425968298860505,0.0,0.0,0.16159427843152185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439791352097882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23480590009034966,0.0,0.2504659942072587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.772925195340842,0.0,0.0,0.07919215018787837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13827697152591287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09301290111628646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074703354060188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10597704823298416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14960282398113844,0.0,0.11899862966284372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11127993839437572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1593514924293139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08125234411393448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09460512316098356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12528658522490638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mo888888,2020/03/15,How do I deal with my loneliness? It caused me to relapse on crack yesterday. This sucks. I’m a has been junkie,-1.3139130434782622,0.008354130434787166,0.569217391304349,99.17469565217392,116.3913043478261,5.318260869565218,17.643478260869568,6.742157984588678,0.4249895652173912,87,3,20,2,5,28,22,23,0.22699999999999998,0.773,0.0,-0.6486,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,3,0,0,2,0,3,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,3,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,13,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7058411706599437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7083701305118676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jankowalski69,2020/03/16,Is lamotrigine prevent manic episodes or it works more like SSRIs? Qurious about that,5.956428571428575,9.791686071428572,5.682857142857145,66.7871428571429,81.14285714285714,8.514285714285714,35.57142857142857,8.841846274778883,4.6632571428571445,71,4,9,2,2,22,14,14,0.0,0.755,0.245,0.4391,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,6,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5572309405042161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.830357560900596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Evil_Simmer,2020/03/16,"I Have a Massive Fear of gaining Weight on APs. My doctor prescribed me risperidone. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. I know it makes you gain weight in SEVERAL ways, but if I force myself to stop eating near entirely, will that at least help some? I just lost the weight from Olanzipine (I gained 50+ pounds over the course of 3 months)

I HATED the way I felt on that horrible shit. I just started feeling good about my body again.

I've only been taking it a few days, and I've already gained 8 pounds and am hungry a lot more, even with my adderall to curb my appetite.

I'm thinking of taking drastic measures. 

2 meals, mostly veggies, punish myself with hair pulling, slaps, and isolation if i have more than 8 grams of sugar. Tell myself I'm a fat fuck every time I wake up, and force myself to think about horible things every time I smell sweets to keep my mind away from it.

Ya, it's disordered eating, but being fat makes me feel more misrible than it.

I promised I would kill myself if I ever got to 300 pounds. That's pretty good incentive, I think.

Will it even make a dent?",4.499714285714283,5.717220019047621,4.704285714285717,86.2707142857143,70.23809523809524,7.1238095238095225,25.904761904761905,7.3011,1.1621333333333328,844,25,166,8,15,264,128,210,0.183,0.655,0.162,-0.8809,0,1,0,0,0,1,29.0,0,2,0,5,8,11,5,1,8,0,8,15,6,3,1,32,28,9,1,4,7,0,7,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,10,6,9,3,7,0,0,1,0,7,0,0,4,10,29,4,25,20,8,19,0,1,0,1,4,8,2,6,8,103,39,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373214361098068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11691445610176394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13822358085105158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0802528050380095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426177764725499,0.12736850153822493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25466415072370685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16438145834031054,0.11256212209100727,0.20969030431829744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14002837447139632,0.1258401079082075,0.0,0.11948087219047344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11504177092933407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20874691441245136,0.09952516733926033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228576650333771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08340878108022698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106070244996462,0.13767322132357296,0.0,0.06838837284596573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13583977455274446,0.10579351481389568,0.0,0.0,0.24919182439321605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256478297223575,0.0,0.0993259540404319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09464140162652862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12659911226528692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14058055283589266,0.12773475711708568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08807850390333323,0.0,0.0,0.10403650421668588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18712515362053714,0.0,0.10876509581498282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08267168516276306,0.2392062946501721,0.0,0.0,0.14512266307848354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19754763576015894,0.0,0.4545992201075479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08839783426962299,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,grumblecakes1,2020/03/16,"ECT & Covid So i recently started ect again, 3 shocks into a series. My wife and kid can no longer go up to the OR with me. My kid isnt even allowed past the the hospitals main waiting room. Basically we get to the hospital and im on my own. It is already one of the most anxiety inducing things in my life and to do it with support fucking sucks.",0.5074324324324309,2.6129964324324355,3.1661486486486474,88.83814189189192,84.67567567567569,6.943243243243244,25.466216216216218,8.07648339933343,1.6924108108108116,272,12,60,6,8,95,57,74,0.126,0.8390000000000001,0.035,-0.7083,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,1,0,0,0,3,4,2,0,6,0,4,2,0,2,0,12,11,5,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,3,7,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,3,0,1,0,0,7,1,10,11,3,10,0,0,0,1,4,5,2,2,4,42,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3311487532863328,0.0,0.0,0.32513951130686625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295624661873191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19820181224020728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2774216473285211,0.15678084035232046,0.0,0.17054393019951264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32414084158402817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21195730586854955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2033438232527694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2864629197304197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.296295492462914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2124000999785002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34053032452752074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1993616309972024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Fadedaway1347,2020/03/17,About to be jobless again Every job I have people don’t want to be around me because I’m depressed. I have a lot of trouble dealing with people. I feel like a failure to my boyfriend and family. I was going to try sticking it out at my job until the manager told me no one wants to work with me. I don’t know how to deal with this,1.4475000000000016,2.8030554166666697,3.5122222222222237,91.255,78.16666666666666,5.911111111111111,24.5,6.42735559955562,0.6559833333333329,258,9,58,2,6,88,50,72,0.161,0.785,0.053,-0.8271,3,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,3,0,7,0,0,1,0,12,14,3,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,2,0,1,2,1,10,1,15,10,1,6,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,1,3,43,12,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20044139038446773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372563046316906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4642630503217894,0.1939311910431092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18970819763108013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2122621369002546,0.0,0.1138483733836784,0.1608553550843401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12796441718791088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4468759095401155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12374282152633012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11000249075706243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19142417749498053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15257519749229134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3121971401105154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21515137471810228,0.0,0.15286981625785964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2656120647015302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16392018690737736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,WhichWayzUp,2020/03/17,"When bipolar has you down, then you get back up again, how do you explain your absence to people? I used to make sure everyone knew I had bipolar disorder so they'd understand when I'm gone for awhile then suddenly re-emerge.

Eventually learned that people only interpret ""bipolar disorder"" in negative ways instead of simply understanding that it's similar to being out with a cold once in awhile.

And I move a lot, so my whole life has been a revolving door of new people, no one has been a constant.

After learning how other people regard mental illness (most people don't have compassion, tolerance, or acceptance), I no longer inform people that I'm bipolar. I just tell them ""I wasn't feeling well,"" and if they can tolerate me after that, wonderful. If not, I keep doing the best I can anyway.

 How do you explain your unpredictable vicissitudes to people in a way they can understand & accept?",7.270542168674696,7.884377138554221,7.802072289156626,68.69202409638558,63.759036144578324,11.218313253012047,35.877108433734946,11.00357731598739,4.3304597590361436,719,32,116,19,10,238,107,166,0.132,0.792,0.076,-0.7578,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,6,4,1,13,5,0,0,6,0,17,6,0,5,1,32,32,14,0,2,5,0,1,0,0,0,6,0,1,0,6,4,0,1,14,0,0,2,6,0,1,1,6,2,20,5,16,24,4,21,0,0,0,0,14,6,0,6,11,93,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14000633276409966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09935973173279368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13560504401181656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396374396833974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2961872612835309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12347217571002035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06533588912061372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06751043703416741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11485381582700566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09126963677203362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10985548993016836,0.0,0.0,0.0862532074972192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13022012735644262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373369931422763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12479837633452573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13761165904468364,0.08756063779951398,0.09827518786618984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6270785425674921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12178529082107233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11294116571394268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4035576913636012,0.0,0.11160181438345293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20513253907061088,0.0,0.0,0.11618140819531647,0.0,0.0,0.1442659260640466,0.0,0.0,0.14013009151647005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,iam_one,2020/03/17,"Having a really hard time with this quarentine, depression hitting hard after I was so close to recovering I was just starting to get my momentum back and was getting close to having a normal life after having a severe three month long mixed episode. It took me two and a half months to pick myself back up, and right when things were really starting to look up this pandemic struck. I have to be fully quarantined because my dad became very sick with upper respiratory symptoms yesterday, and I was around him a lot on Saturday. We're waiting on the coronavirus test results to get back, they said it could take up to 5 days. I'm not supposed to leave the house at all, and I just wasn't mentally or physically prepared for things to get like this. It all feels so surreal. I live alone so I don't have anyone around to help keep me from getting too stuck in my head and spiraling. 

I never had that much of an issue with anxiety but now I find myself anxious and paranoid about everything. Being forced to go back into isolation (I basically isolated myself for like 4 months because of my episode) has just thrown me back into the depths of depression. My eating disorder relapsed. I can't focus on or enjoy anything, I feel totally brain dead. My medication seemed like it was finally starting to work well but now it's like it's not working at all. I wish I could look forward to doing art projects, reading, or doing anything productive with my time but all I've been able to do is lay in bed staring at the wall.

My friends all live far away and are supporting me saying I can video call them anytime, but now I'm too depressed to even want to talk to them.

My dad gets sick all the time, he has a problem with his tonsils which he was actually going to have removed this week but that got canceled along with everything else. We're hoping his illness is just from that, but I'm a bit worried with his age and not knowing if having chronic tonsillitis would put him more at risk if he does have COVID-19.

I really feel for everyone as we all deal with this, the only good I've seen from all this is how everyone is really supporting eachother. I especially feel bad for everyone out there with any kind of mental illness being completely thrown off like I am. Not to mention the financial disaster as well, my family has been heavily impacted financially.

Sorry if this is poorly written at all, it took all the energy I have to make this post but I feel like we have to reach out to each other in dire times like this.",7.362864558754129,6.830833593047036,7.695511247443764,73.38813709296839,63.785276073619634,11.285858109170992,35.372109485606416,10.727762888450028,3.744001982067013,2013,81,373,46,26,661,247,489,0.159,0.725,0.115,-0.9783,1,3,0,0,0,0,37.0,2,0,3,2,26,22,0,1,16,0,43,11,2,4,12,86,83,29,1,11,21,2,7,7,1,1,8,2,1,0,23,30,1,2,8,3,1,7,8,6,2,3,18,13,47,16,71,58,16,66,0,3,4,0,23,30,0,9,37,268,70,5,0.07466032066007065,0.0,0.0728577030834963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07732557582922361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050771578260334085,0.0,0.057114940950669935,0.08434491113050464,0.0,0.05220423214444205,0.0,0.12287816486328484,0.13292702858928013,0.0,0.0,0.07014582892760432,0.2870458904051633,0.06233824918748164,0.09102447700467307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08150973330727902,0.0,0.0,0.0833456095071526,0.07623653491820663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07827992574004068,0.0,0.0,0.11922038176296483,0.0,0.0,0.048149730331522825,0.07697151227685389,0.19291447435103792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08556719574328041,0.0,0.06533574973665024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0763961470047384,0.06236911770838945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04931243765772253,0.0,0.0,0.21402340766534825,0.13419976416800916,0.0,0.07038310571993582,0.0,0.1887525070868292,0.05333734799739192,0.0,0.08178673191546447,0.0682381804975523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0576823785390376,0.0,0.2340416163227428,0.0,0.08486236155776589,0.06262153473474592,0.05971267878194935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337619650598693,0.0,0.0766230285002644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05004323916642955,0.0,0.0,0.0741545445007552,0.0,0.08614798595518856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07792597740884043,0.0,0.06636152343718996,0.0,0.07774723492777992,0.041031359698708435,0.0,0.0,0.0790544994797332,0.0,0.0,0.05273479245020421,0.2553268300523225,0.0,0.1318528619666513,0.06607203436088524,0.12539173134441972,0.0,0.0,0.06347353474685956,0.0,0.0,0.049836343787488316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07521241840091739,0.15048008586104844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17877946694958216,0.0,0.05488392621174888,0.0,0.057582641955818026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07315126235983707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05678253818488242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07150394917352287,0.0,0.0,0.0714398437751382,0.0,0.0750542435823074,0.0,0.0,0.07468052480316141,0.0,0.1913172528064512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06375950590663887,0.07101906198912629,0.05937288363473575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06796795188338763,0.0,0.08434491113050464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0835761164484673,0.15853487771327862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16944729424043964,0.0,0.07760066009202436,0.05613526954482338,0.06000913766388246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09920199910157132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17414013351712598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16590072672559833,0.0,0.0,0.07293228471599614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06160258360587515,0.04403659150751678,0.0,0.05988800579238963,0.0,0.13425718923491572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0858556841599021,0.0,0.0,0.10870720528131778,0.07582117972850967,0.0,0.053036549687666384,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,digibel,2020/03/17,"Is my Abilify making me feel like this? I’m on my second day of taking 2mg abilify. I’ve been dizzy and weak all day today and yesterday, didn’t sleep a wink last night. I’m really anxious about nothing which is something I thought I had gotten over months ago. Is this because of the abilify? My psychiatrist said I may feel weird but I didn’t think it would be like this.",2.1759740259740283,4.112506857142861,3.8714285714285737,86.89857142857143,77.83116883116884,7.5168831168831165,23.98701298701299,8.418075326091056,1.5234207792207792,296,10,62,6,7,99,55,77,0.094,0.836,0.07,0.2414,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,2,0,10,2,1,1,1,11,20,3,0,1,1,0,2,2,0,2,1,1,0,0,5,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,7,3,8,2,5,10,1,10,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,10,35,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22124987973091773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2819699953947604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15215008835628244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3219347571267568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.252404290149398,0.17830988932957753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20345229263132664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2438778857264073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16660582647964312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19922342200528126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23422691110287125,0.0,0.2394920212811731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15989620526514184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23742089847044376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24977409391369604,0.0,0.0,0.19214953225871434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18766350551423933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15992965466009051,0.0,0.1981496292379639,0.0,0.0,0.23658577629374805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17730430290034024,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,redditorinalabama,2020/03/17,Anyone wanna chat? Going out of my mind bored in quarantine Missed meds and my mom is staying with me and stressing me out. What’s going on with you?,0.8460000000000001,3.3816392666666717,2.2816666666666663,92.0625,89.66666666666666,4.333333333333334,17.5,5.985473137389443,-0.18599999999999994,118,3,23,1,4,38,24,30,0.21600000000000005,0.784,0.0,-0.7319,0,1,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,8,4,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,5,0,8,4,0,7,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,0,0,17,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2494977316643638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4055795065381089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3963479964127164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3602877689713946,0.4179047641819198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3803240020755054,0.0,0.0,0.4087375644092507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,thisisathroawayk,2020/03/17,"Is not being able to move for several minutes normal with low dose risperidone? I’ve just started risperidone (.25mg twice daily) 2 days ago.

It really helps in combination with my adderall and Gabapentin. I’m alert, functioning, hallucinations stop, and besides some mubut the second the adderall wears off, I crash hard.

I become so tired I can’t move without great effort, but I still can’t sleep. My breathing gets weird, sometimes I forget to breathe, and I stumble, drop stuff, and see spots when I walk. That’s when the muscle twitches start up.

I think the Gabapentin works to sedate me more, and the addy crash makes me more exhausted, and that makes the exhaustion seem a lot worse than it would be without the AP.

I tried calling the nurse line, and they’re swamped with virus stuff. The nurse told me to stop taking the med and call my doctor.

The thing is though, when the med works, it works well. It’s the adderall crash that makes things worse.

Does anyone have experience with this?",5.3919536679536675,7.195843427027029,4.425193050193052,86.87222972972975,68.78378378378378,7.015444015444014,27.268339768339768,7.447530270364453,1.360320463320463,794,26,149,8,14,233,117,185,0.21899999999999997,0.7490000000000001,0.032,-0.987,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,4,8,6,0,0,14,0,8,10,4,3,0,29,20,14,0,2,5,0,1,0,0,1,6,0,0,0,12,12,0,2,2,0,0,3,5,4,1,2,1,2,15,2,15,16,4,18,0,1,1,0,4,4,0,3,10,88,27,4,0.12412684601724935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100309596089652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08679237682818391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13708834927504476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2534947759939592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08005154692336354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12704908660347314,0.1086242394257492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12141987347921457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0648511538973741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13685028594027862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11119327303419173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08319960840374327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055282056658462,0.0,0.0,0.2485669007318087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2757538870615838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2638543866503119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12161795447207382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07951883600819462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09891302551881824,0.1130004187357998,0.0,0.14022800469746632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12421648894095776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12276462462629388,0.0,0.17571524097675872,0.0,0.09912785957055888,0.207551202605324,0.0,0.0,0.2841910832040577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09332794042838344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16492872195323358,0.0795354709054837,0.12195399598552728,0.0,0.0,0.14266554970013293,0.0,0.11860852070860692,0.0,0.08427398054554809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11160494160443456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23930770016759745,0.0,0.2710974667324757,0.0,0.25299172108941204,0.0881761500374586,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ACaulfield910,2020/03/17,Meds took away the fun part of bipolar and left me with the shitty half Thanks depression,7.295294117647058,7.707539705882354,5.616470588235295,85.07411764705884,63.70588235294118,9.15294117647059,28.764705882352942,8.841846274778883,1.9385764705882358,73,2,14,1,1,21,16,17,0.275,0.491,0.23399999999999999,-0.2732,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,2,3,1,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,9,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3478899360382884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.318921334638957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4023099416544645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4112972364974292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4009767959060284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3409037687613009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4113943344289244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,thenameofbeautiful,2020/03/17,"Quick question, checking if this is right place. Is this an okay chat room to talk about some symptoms I have and discuss? If not can someone direct me to the right place?",3.33818181818182,5.563379181818185,2.645454545454548,95.68818181818185,75.36363636363637,4.4,26.15151515151515,3.1291,0.25389696969696995,135,5,27,0,3,39,27,33,0.0,0.932,0.068,0.3094,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,1,4,1,0,0,0,6,4,3,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,3,4,1,6,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,4,1,19,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6305257397957352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3380272832752769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5153829955314612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2556704528993055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31363214068823186,0.0,0.24253394602648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,pamperwithrachel,2020/03/17,"Having trouble dealing in the center of coronavirus I work as a travel agent, a job I usually love because it's kind of a joyful thing to do, plan vacations. The problem is now I'm in the frontline of one of the hardest hit industries and the constant information, the constant changes in policies, the anger I'm dealing with from people is so far from what I'm used to and I'm having difficulty managing. I'm also experiencing constant anxiety that I will be laid off and I'm having difficulty making oneself go to work, even though I telecommute.

Normally when I start feeling this way I go to group therapy because it's always available when I can't get an appointment but that's all closed down for the foreseeable future. Unless I'm suicidal or in need of hospitalization or self harming I can't get an emergency appointment with my therapist and my next one due to a planned trip which got cancelled of course isn't until the end of next month. I'm on a waitlist but not very hopeful I'll get anywhere.

I already can't sleep the last few days and cooking and bathing have become unmanageable. I don't know what to do to stop spiralling.",8.285909090909094,7.2325387702702715,8.652080262080261,68.97748157248161,62.19819819819821,11.676330876330875,41.35298935298936,10.832165505486646,4.572868468468469,925,47,164,20,11,308,128,222,0.145,0.8140000000000001,0.042,-0.9690000000000001,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,4,7,8,1,0,17,0,15,3,1,2,1,26,38,18,1,4,6,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,9,9,1,1,3,3,0,4,6,4,0,2,1,2,13,4,29,34,2,33,0,0,0,1,6,10,0,3,18,105,22,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14600268173667785,0.1058048580254106,0.11008898024465726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10121353427066436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16130471063147814,0.146121302758185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13996193714420616,0.0,0.0,0.42892652988618296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08532626139352892,0.27280283113404263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11718362136066865,0.0,0.0,0.08738669804720081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06689776099464746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2073728761700291,0.0,0.1503848099437753,0.0,0.1058169921861595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314094597004859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13129303872410958,0.0,0.0,0.13777607567884467,0.07271177842281339,0.10784684236712072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11941110217260667,0.0,0.08831511345194505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10560518493529956,0.0,0.0,0.0981030349143481,0.0,0.0,0.2814173256886524,0.0,0.12963154082912318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1793075964493971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09172414607954292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12659873153805729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13802374886735946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13240129656594046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09364668865651866,0.0,0.0,0.11061352869918437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14472101305827895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15130315218355692,0.15361716965934266,0.08789805932266775,0.0,0.12998972461342226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142696855538424,0.14571608823685472,0.10916609740242716,0.0,0.10501814359362012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19264031904912168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sugarbloss0m,2020/03/18,"Lamictal and crying. I recently got disgnosed with type 2 disorder. I recently got put on Lamictal. I’ve been doing great, I thought this was working for me because I actually felt normal. When I’m having an episode I normally stay very high, happy, confident, etc, etc. when something happens, shit hits the fan,  I can normally turn my feelings off very quickly and act like nothing is happening and be *very numb* to situations. Now I’m pretty sure I’m getting used to Lamictal and something happens, shit hits the fan, and I can’t stop crying. It feels like my world is ending. Not sure if this is just my new way of coping with things or this medicine isn’t for me. I’m very close to stop taking it tonight so I can stop feeling like everything is happening at once.",2.8843468468468463,5.395277479729731,4.283675675675679,81.92438738738741,78.25675675675676,8.000720720720723,30.13693693693693,8.841846274778883,2.890314774774775,609,30,112,15,15,201,90,148,0.135,0.667,0.198,0.8593,0,0,2,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,1,6,10,2,0,3,0,13,3,2,1,2,26,34,10,0,4,4,0,4,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,8,0,3,5,0,0,2,3,3,0,0,6,4,13,7,11,25,2,22,0,0,0,0,0,6,2,2,15,62,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.1015897081425555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06346034572443275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287049583049889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11931128863854963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09220453755722917,0.0,0.2322051774698564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09356124539778446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15791312073742989,0.14874269670410087,0.0999553995391803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05438962637483324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16652168139081816,0.11477414778709485,0.0,0.0,0.3682324711001497,0.11081979438342526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10999074863818208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.152578698211145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10054352125709648,0.0,0.0,0.3059971044466834,0.09988983005489592,0.0,0.0,0.11086651263230993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10591038227114027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10465247156705976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2055787058595976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2137208818215585,0.0,0.11701636086796703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16028746193524715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11096016202355616,0.0,0.2611048150634674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19623207186041947,0.0,0.07827265214533068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06916154167210856,0.0,0.0,0.0826463139946651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11323438985363975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08991174185404019,0.0,0.3435841770732865,0.0,0.08263227618956714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07578837096240766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,peds2020,2020/03/18,"Graduating medical school going to become a pediatrician Hello everyone!

In medical school I had a manic episode and was diagnosed bipolar 1 with psychotic features. I struggled for a long time after with feelings of sadness, despair, and hopelessness as well as suicidal thoughts. I couldn’t find a therapist that suited me well and I had reentered school rather quickly after the PHP. In any case, today I am doing so much better.  I found a great therapist. I feel a lot happier and I found out I will be a pediatrician this week. 

Just wanted to share my happiness with you all :)",5.306761904761906,7.7584821523809575,6.603809523809527,68.49619047619049,70.33333333333334,10.0,34.52380952380953,10.25414643259724,4.377952380952381,466,24,72,14,9,157,74,105,0.141,0.6509999999999999,0.20800000000000002,0.7763,0,0,0,0,0,1,12.0,0,1,0,1,6,10,0,1,8,0,8,4,0,0,1,20,15,7,1,3,2,0,2,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,2,8,0,0,6,0,0,1,1,4,2,0,6,2,12,6,14,6,3,11,0,3,0,0,3,3,0,1,7,57,14,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10389087540226548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16872577020156815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13511529910269698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15506137406833276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14598114365559253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15449323316343144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396317497044824,0.0,0.0,0.3350154071666873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08682441370773575,0.0,0.0,0.16843276631226914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16262969396890567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13519929308015494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12988213712629942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3078054398359115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11230572960357714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4638432812717528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1597115049367479,0.0,0.1671088604583464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35476244432135945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212846931127381,0.08908316194641458,0.0,0.1448109359728671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09010947065677813,0.0,0.1225452814557899,0.0,0.2747225395898344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Over_Lack,2020/03/18,"Extreme case. Just torture might kill myself I think I have bipolar, it’s really bad every 5 minutes I go from really hyper and in the best mood to really depressed and worn out and back again. It’s just torture every second it prevents me from studying and doing anything because I’m either to hyper to sit down or too depressed to even do anything. Why am I like this",2.8823679060665377,5.203647178082196,4.479882583170255,81.51849315068493,77.21917808219176,5.815264187866927,26.866927592954998,6.868970318607317,1.5561913894324857,296,12,50,3,7,99,51,73,0.292,0.618,0.09,-0.9635,0,0,0,0,0,1,4.0,0,0,0,1,6,9,3,0,1,0,5,1,0,0,0,12,9,5,1,0,4,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,5,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,6,0,1,1,0,6,2,9,7,2,7,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,2,3,39,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3722997755788643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17393996841925288,0.1888742089231289,0.1378942808867945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373913119687081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3896651917326169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494082328918503,0.0,0.3811799474109953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12855920414420524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25026560686546073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11051378950791843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23997091223401446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4347438600876816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14494493536004546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20411751142916898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lilac_blaire,2020/03/18,"Does anyone else ramp into [hypo]mania as soon as the weather starts to get warm and spring arrives? I act out in the same way every March/April. This disorder is so centred on unpredictability that it’s strange I can count on this happening. After years of trying to be more self-aware, I’m finally realising I can look back and see the same thing happening over and over again as spring arrives. 

It’s not healthy, but after such a depressing winter and anxiety about the state of the world, it’s a welcome change to not want to die.",5.4530651872399485,6.5641029611650525,5.843717059639393,79.373786407767,67.93203883495146,9.380859916782248,30.248266296809987,9.606745405546679,2.6874615811373093,427,16,82,9,7,137,72,103,0.11199999999999999,0.7959999999999999,0.09300000000000001,0.2516,0,0,0,0,0,1,12.0,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,7,0,4,0,0,0,0,12,12,9,1,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,6,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,3,3,2,19,11,3,22,0,1,2,0,1,8,0,0,11,55,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17566125890053594,0.0,0.0,0.16055800786608276,0.2352762907324225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1765662071307974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24291109142737335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977742826458616,0.0,0.23831281789998546,0.0,0.2631682896745937,0.0,0.2009449691957656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19182087122586605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19346760310560865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25154119133274905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11996873986054897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4061103971295339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1928258089481593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829801061992736,0.0,0.23954726666667794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16252861180877162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525515719492962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15589920366075705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13543782017703926,0.1822643527269792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14786992965900558
bipolarreddit,susie-throwaway,2020/03/18,Mood tracker apps? What do you use to track? What didn't work for you at all?,-2.250196078431376,-0.6155469999999994,-0.8858823529411772,111.50686274509803,107.23529411764706,2.266666666666667,11.549019607843142,3.1291,-2.2422392156862743,59,1,16,0,3,18,15,17,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,3,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,10,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7646043235839642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6444999832092383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,eatmyassitsmadeofpie,2020/03/18,Lamictal for Bipolar 2? Anyone have experience? Recently diagnosed. Is it safe with alcohol/ pot?,5.250999999999999,7.276469933333335,7.899166666666666,45.10875000000002,116.33333333333334,14.833333333333336,43.75,9.516144504307137,9.646,79,6,8,5,4,28,15,15,0.0,0.8029999999999999,0.19699999999999998,0.5329999999999999,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4986624708381416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3262634397922889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4735977000896896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.456432546592145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4607194991680607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,alis_volat_propriis1,2020/03/18,What are y’all doing to cope with isolation ? I’d love to hear everyone’s strategy,1.382941176470588,3.89186994117647,4.383823529411767,78.77220588235295,84.88235294117645,10.458823529411768,26.14705882352941,10.125756701596842,3.749141176470589,67,3,13,3,2,24,16,17,0.14300000000000002,0.635,0.222,0.3612,0,1,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,3,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5518731975875255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6509401435650646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5212608783325421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,silicoya,2020/03/18,"When will this end? (some self-harm thoughts) Hi everyone,

I have read some posts in this thread but this is my first time to actually write something here. I have had bipolar disorder (II I think) since I was 12 and now I am 27. I am from a country where mental problems are greatly stigmatized and I could finally see a therapist for the first time in my life here about 2 months ago.

Since then I could keep myself eat and sleep regularly, but last Sunday the boiler went down in my apartment and it was too cold to sleep. Maybe I should have stayed at a nearby hotel but I somehow chose not to sleep at all. Then a hypomanic phase started... I suddenly thought that I always wanted to become a novelist and wrote a single-spaced 70-page novel in the next two days plus my regular working hour. I slept about 3 hours a day. Then I was cooking like a mad person but I have not been eating for three days now so I will probably end up throwing the food away, as usual. And of course my body was almost burning with sexual craving. Also spent about 3x times of money (compared to normal times) for impulse buying. After three days of no sleeping/eating now my body is breaking down, driving me to a depression phase.

When I was young I did not know that I had bipolar, but now I clearly know that the lack of sleep initiates a manic phase and that I am now going into a depression. Yet there is nothing I can do. I just cannot stop myself repeating this. My therapist recommended taking a medicine but I am very afraid that I would quit it one day and the problem would get even worse.

At this point I just do not see a clear reason I should stay in this world repeating this. I have dreamed of a happy family but now that I learned that this is hereditary, it would be very selfish for me to have children and potentially make them suffer with the same problem. I think I was simply born inferior and should have been naturally selected out, and the only reason I am still here is because human world does not have natural selection anymore.

But paradoxically I am still here seeking for help... Since I refused to see a psychiatrist, my therapist recommended me some generic methods like yoga, EFT tapping, meditation, etc. but I doubt it works when I am already in a hypomanic phase. What should I do? Is there any resource that I can refer to (I tried to find it but could not)?

Thank you very much for reading this long stuff and I hope your day goes great (at least better than mine)!!",4.298798986486489,5.940151106250003,5.030709459459462,82.10118243243244,71.27083333333334,8.022522522522522,28.18130630630631,8.605353355243054,2.089351914414414,1961,73,374,34,37,633,244,480,0.136,0.7879999999999999,0.076,-0.9856,0,0,2,0,0,0,56.0,0,2,1,6,29,19,1,2,24,0,52,14,7,3,3,79,74,32,0,17,18,0,0,2,0,9,3,0,0,3,24,17,4,3,11,7,3,4,8,11,0,6,17,4,57,8,47,44,9,76,0,4,3,0,11,21,0,7,49,277,81,5,0.0,0.0,0.07199564149689268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06539879724229393,0.0,0.07387693861350865,0.0,0.0814146771365025,0.05899938448492429,0.061388316134291826,0.0,0.0,0.05017084250478448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07316689037886524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0693158545800785,0.0,0.0,0.04497373192207496,0.08148082312815645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06524969940835089,0.0,0.16389907543118026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17671462662003806,0.0,0.0,0.2854800996798613,0.0,0.1270879238765073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08455475382702701,0.0,0.06456268885638386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150984436201447,0.0,0.0,0.13068892413869002,0.0,0.08228077930582775,0.04872896663890945,0.0,0.0,0.07049701851730994,0.0,0.0,0.06955032388329893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08081902092686287,0.06743077768828107,0.1255092384035176,0.08921135693615882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038545401037451285,0.0,0.04192912966451018,0.0,0.0,0.16267865216416785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07853691415268736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04945112121144602,0.0,0.0,0.07327713852196763,0.14531083017720586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06557632547235517,0.0,0.0,0.08109174288991333,0.06013804504869364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05211082769527999,0.07208736302997347,0.0,0.0,0.06529026166752983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04924667384487798,0.0,0.07411884275324361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07434979319659453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05888804187141286,0.0,0.0542345326334897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07846260232699524,0.0,0.07228572734263086,0.07079095437232857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049993157315351776,0.056110679988873376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06441916980604534,0.0,0.0,0.06974304591983657,0.0,0.0706579053749377,0.0,0.07954400905002743,0.21178367543928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07847084672782073,0.14759379071740547,0.0,0.0,0.15170994370328533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17637198449008076,0.0,0.07696542842598242,0.0,0.0,0.1830871173362404,0.0,0.29532084436124234,0.0,0.0,0.0567970853393112,0.0,0.0,0.052219690975427696,0.1572727826774544,0.11783670363608008,0.0616808172209828,0.0,0.0,0.08445693418734711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05547106991348482,0.0,0.0,0.0679238851527408,0.0,0.2569821072121484,0.0,0.09454655587488453,0.0,0.11714128334830858,0.17207968536356424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05008969281087917,0.0,0.07206934067005434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08125486557016702,0.18262108206272507,0.043515544969718566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06839195350305925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10742096783635384,0.0,0.07518499488828112,0.15722704350847042,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,UnreasonableArachnid,2020/03/18,Can I stop abilify 5mg? My doc wants me to taper but I’d prefer to stop. Can I?,-5.035499999999999,-4.372699549999998,0.5200000000000031,100.24000000000002,119.5,4.0,10.0,5.985473137389443,-1.2025,59,1,17,1,4,24,15,20,0.24100000000000002,0.759,0.0,-0.5803,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,3,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,2,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,9,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.9430475540723346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33265794858711434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,WinnieTheEeyore,2020/03/18,"Recently Diagnosed. Feeling Lost. Please Help. I have recently been diagnosed with bipolar after a recent hospital stay for suicide ideation. Before I went, was 100% sure I was going to do it. 

When I was in the hospital, it was 48 hours without my medicine. I spoke super fast, my mind was every where. Getting out, a few days later I am back to where I was, just not as badly. 

Is this normal? I feel like I am in a depression sing and have been for months. Is a quick temporary shift normal? 

Also, i read people being manic and staying up all night with projects. I have never done that. Does that mean I am not manic? 

I'm so confused. Please help. 

Thanks.",1.145294117647058,3.7580979527559073,2.7471514590088013,88.67282538212136,89.15748031496064,5.507920333487727,21.64381658175081,7.048011613610866,0.9594366836498374,508,18,96,8,17,166,84,127,0.099,0.706,0.195,0.8740000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,1,24.0,0,0,0,2,8,8,0,1,5,0,19,3,0,0,3,19,29,6,1,2,4,0,2,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,5,5,0,0,3,2,0,2,4,4,0,0,12,3,14,4,13,16,2,24,0,2,0,0,3,6,0,1,15,71,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11391926412098904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10953722879483728,0.1189419408562264,0.0,0.0,0.12121664000382686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09187011909993296,0.0,0.12269418480438035,0.2891727081124012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12466119889896453,0.1457784316465877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200224292639939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14405659335645551,0.1017681403251172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07442558527973925,0.0,0.08095907505331766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19096590201903668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14028708084935318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06959512730929897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555038015276607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15517260380984033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14383648117687511,0.0,0.11370427766465115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10986819943011067,0.0,0.0,0.13368208149676514,0.27914653473807444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09875867156305916,0.0,0.0,0.31274027557046635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14249111388314908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4219641646149889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3036709590326979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558199842438587,0.0,0.13425985589804806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311511820062462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13205495418102592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13731918845350696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ayleenm,2020/03/18,Latuda anyone? Today I was finally given medication for my bipolar.  I was prescribed Latuda anyone else taking it? Experience? For Bipolar 1 or 2?,2.696133333333336,4.615951480000003,6.331000000000002,57.09383333333335,114.2,6.466666666666668,28.16666666666667,7.1686216300943375,3.686866666666667,117,6,12,3,6,43,19,25,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,3,0,2,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,9,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4842756117625993,0.3548205758840515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2892853835083133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3387433646718027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3793497002583733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3488561984061928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2603710550234768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32824756208381395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,relinksys,2020/03/18,"Dipping into mania as my workplace continues to operate. I'm now chronically pissed off and relapsed. I'm livid. My workplace is able to be entirely remote. Easily. We're on the slow season at the moment and so all of our tasks are caught up within an hour of being at work.
All of them.
My dad is immunocompromised and several people at our workplace are out of have been coughing.
I voiced this concern regarding my situation over the past 2 weeks, as things only get worse in our state.
The bosses all but said ""SOL, just wash ur hands"". Which pisses me the fuck off. We have no sick days.
They are extremely dismissive and the guy who owns our souls upstairs? He's wealthier than a motherfucker, billions and millions.

SO

Basically I'm feeling myself slipping into an episode without realizing I was heading there. Chronically mad, anxious about the pandemic, being hyper aggressive, unable to stop, wanting to buy a million art supplies, wanting to become a musician, etc etc.
Last night they officially announced we have no plans to be remote, still no sick days, and that got me really fucking mad.
My dad could die if this escalates, and I'm currently fighting everything in me to not be an ass at work.
I self harmed last night after years of not doing it because I was so stressed and pissed.

Uh I basically needed to vent
But if anyone has any fucking tips on how to stop being this angry right now please help?
The pandemic alone is stressful enough to slap mania into my brain, and it's dog piling now.",5.105154738878143,7.01586371276596,5.9793036750483575,75.02454545454547,69.67375886524822,8.815215989684074,30.903288201160546,9.339509955726095,3.0323489361702127,1205,51,204,26,22,396,172,282,0.264,0.674,0.062,-0.9972,1,1,0,0,2,0,36.0,6,0,3,3,11,13,10,2,14,0,21,16,7,2,3,36,36,19,1,6,8,2,2,0,0,0,6,2,0,2,9,15,0,2,2,1,1,1,6,13,1,3,6,4,24,0,38,23,7,42,1,0,0,4,19,18,7,2,22,144,33,3,0.12812195694265793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13269570783207835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712732421011754,0.0,0.0,0.14474134288006418,0.0,0.08958585127818541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07810195576723394,0.14150063541223418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14302647642318447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10229495724019146,0.0,0.0,0.16525612592594294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13297036345817398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13238423067968594,0.2857796990017192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11514775354858656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06478231106427873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3553400539913338,0.06693843446377752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10247083313055301,0.0,0.0,0.1268608806786072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13149009100863987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08587744704372065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12617431938564105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2088729902361321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950008076455592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404675547425921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09744252165138574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12230690520337713,0.08882363288519812,0.0,0.0,0.14063943442146032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08207820636767323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10941545118255054,0.12187332068538938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13365914345173052,0.14474134288006418,0.0,0.0,0.14401444770311067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10231836031628536,0.2142313858510579,0.29352653759781616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08511853515460836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511392994604409,0.0,0.10277170566209208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12350499445002674,0.0,0.18654862115879495,0.0,0.1305672198895724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0825063396277091
bipolarreddit,2410ovr,2020/03/18,"Mood stabilizers and ED I had to stop using lamictal due to ED side effects. 

This has caused tremendous damage to my relationships, since I am irritable and volatile.

Can someone please recommend a mood stabilizer with little or no ED side effects?

I am bipolar II and currently only taking Wellbutrin at 150mgs. 

Thank you.",5.272738095238097,8.538433178571427,5.960714285714289,68.9509523809524,74.35714285714286,8.733333333333334,34.333333333333336,9.2995712137729,4.1278547619047625,262,14,38,7,6,85,44,56,0.166,0.7170000000000001,0.11599999999999999,-0.4804,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,2,0,4,0,0,1,0,5,1,0,4,0,10,8,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,5,1,5,7,0,7,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,1,3,22,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33765816618160593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32943665140695616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24998577321358434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3608061158756965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35289318065966635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2718981757829479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27850044010375136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2748019947092206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471361656293791,0.0,0.0,0.3026162747082321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2838851440169529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,broken-glass-kids,2020/03/18,How do I stay calm and not trigger myself into an episode during this time? So I live in the US and my state just shut everything nonessential down for the next 30 days. That includes my job. I’m so scared to go 30 days without pay. I’m scared to file for unemployment because I think my insurance will get cancelled and I have 6 days of meds left and see my psychiatrist on Monday. So I was thinking maybe file after Monday? But then what if it comes too late? How am I supposed to pay my bills? I can’t stop thinking about this. I slept about 4 hours and I’m wide awake and I’m scared cause not sleeping is usually how it starts for me but idk I could just have an insane amount of anxiety right now too. My mom keeps telling me to just calm down cause I’m not the only one going through this. Super helpful advice 🙄 I’m scared and I don’t know what to do. I feel like if I sit in my house for the next 30 days I will go crazy. I don’t know what to do.,-0.5168744354110189,1.6705737317073217,1.2433062330623308,99.67193315266485,92.17073170731709,4.207768744354111,17.348690153568207,5.82211442006289,-0.5971770551038844,745,20,177,6,27,241,111,205,0.136,0.767,0.09699999999999999,-0.7392,3,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,1,0,0,1,14,8,0,4,6,0,14,2,2,6,0,35,35,18,0,3,11,1,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,9,9,0,2,6,0,3,4,7,4,0,1,2,2,25,4,23,30,1,34,0,0,1,0,4,10,0,2,18,105,34,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11989383011315302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09385953557323026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07479229598463394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2520782818745062,0.0,0.10568884743553277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09796009132531402,0.0,0.0,0.3165064168268216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11026823567694352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062037086473587036,0.08765164820999867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0641018416758167,0.0,0.20918716830169531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08223829191731083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12082753816402693,0.14157083624242667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12175351574710082,0.10905485790708193,0.0,0.0,0.13485733509153733,0.0,0.13840264468615368,0.0,0.133305914907116,0.0,0.0,0.05994142760746885,0.0,0.10833985102847214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12326125025257575,0.0,0.13628386657456548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14369613985215726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609700341138381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08313970976691068,0.09331328324939404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10477884618570303,0.0,0.0,0.4913469555875081,0.0,0.09777015088300592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12278124950898554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08684248375090399,0.13077403196959864,0.0,0.1025765428174636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10723877731102913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2358494733183744,0.0,0.0,0.0715430664223861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14758414200046238,0.0,0.13512861166259174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11827132892826045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Rampaigeee,2020/03/18,Uh-oh My state is shut down and I'm out of a job. Running very low on money. My Seroquel is going to be out soon and I'm having problems making an appointment. Out of refills. I feel very lonely and isolated. I'm stressing about food and rent. I'm worried about my parents and grandpa. Idk what to do. Anyone else in the same boat?,-0.3686956521739121,1.8967142318840613,1.97926086956522,93.16193478260872,95.08695652173913,3.919420289855073,21.39275362318841,5.6839178017228535,0.2075205797101453,258,10,53,2,10,87,49,69,0.231,0.769,0.0,-0.9267,3,2,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,3,0,5,1,0,1,0,12,12,5,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,8,1,0,1,0,2,2,0,4,0,0,0,1,4,0,12,11,1,12,0,2,0,0,2,8,0,0,1,32,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19450671481540946,0.28502358115011145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323798606562968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406538457075656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3363708103785538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580934962553212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27604617159991185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18568424647440607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3088808733505415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661762992927693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3186489926964359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4590476928448055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2825006321636178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,riderbaron,2020/03/18,"Is this how everyone feels on medication? I have bipolar one and had to go through medication roulette to find the combination of medications that would work for me. I finally found the right combination but I fear that it might just be hypomania or that soon the other shoe will drop and I'll be back in hell. Especially when I feel that the medication is a see through wall for me. It feels like I'm on one side of a wall and my bipolar is on the other side. And that the medication muffles my depressive and manic episodes and keeps me at my hedonic set point of stability to the point where I can almost feel through the wall and know that someday the wall will disappear. And that's frightening for me because if I miss a dose I know I'll land myself in a bad place. So it's like this desperate attempt to keep the wall there but I'm still hyperaware of that wall and I am so scared because the bipolar and depression is on the other side and I can SEE and FEEL it scraping at that wall trying to get back inside of me. 

Will this stability I have last? Will I live my life like this being scared that in the future I won't be able to control myself and my mania and depression and just off myself? I'm afraid that I'll have to be alert to my moods for the rest of my life but that one day it'll be too much and I'll kill myself because I couldn't take it anymore due to the fact that my bipolar might one day overwhelm me.

I don't want to die.

But I feel like that is my future. I don't believe I'll live long. I feel almost resigned to the fact that it's going to be a never-ending battle that I'll eventually lose before I can live out the rest of my life. Death will happen when the other shoe drops because I'll be so tired of fighting. I'm afraid of the future I'll never have because I'll be dead and won't be able to experience life to the fullest. 

Am I the only one that feels this way?",5.009702517162474,4.672048919799501,6.051341396970687,82.57582870219028,68.57393483709274,9.244894845810178,29.377901274926447,8.841846274778883,1.988564040536124,1505,48,331,23,23,503,146,399,0.215,0.7390000000000001,0.046,-0.9977,0,0,0,0,2,4,19.0,0,0,0,4,15,22,4,6,26,0,39,18,2,2,3,52,65,29,4,4,8,0,8,4,0,11,16,0,0,0,33,18,0,3,12,0,0,3,6,17,0,5,2,10,39,4,41,41,3,50,1,7,2,0,1,27,1,6,20,224,72,1,0.16285083249393176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16307158498865673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08075213325495832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12522223800585136,0.06798682142430773,0.248180889903804,0.0,0.06928703196088264,0.09173856070732367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09132552806464928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050253146453522,0.0,0.2103947750990415,0.0,0.08450672664903135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07211875045083957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0778054746335301,0.0,0.0796496814019191,0.0,0.09162623089105901,0.3293690961158301,0.11634066727279978,0.0,0.08919756345564832,0.07442135530393433,0.0,0.0,0.0892787661180611,0.0,0.0,0.042541419278919884,0.0,0.09255188100520896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0720042266756252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447493024643771,0.09008515889817982,0.0,0.08949855862146397,0.06637258194681407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23005271812349426,0.1591213816865031,0.0,0.21570040298655266,0.07205893107014445,0.0,0.0910942129655084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.410137702402808,0.0,0.17275899817239998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059857049869991616,0.0,0.12560060145469104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2758798467763988,0.06192769822559869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08507222946165953,0.0,0.15394667474762966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06953686057399311,0.0,0.0,0.16304209288385232,0.0,0.12977102912930374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06502644259632501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06122177949963476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935865378132722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055282512726991966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048026820162250336,0.0646317053756864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05927867279981819,0.0,0.0,0.05784227949252204,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,AlexFreire,2020/03/18,"Hi guys. Just stopping by to say that it's going to be OK. Hang in there. You are beautiful. Know that this, too, shaw pass. You deserve to be happy.",-1.8298924731182813,-0.2840416774193528,0.5088709677419345,100.61663978494623,110.93548387096772,3.3569892473118284,14.844086021505374,5.46131890053228,-0.874359139784946,112,3,26,1,6,37,26,31,0.042,0.682,0.276,0.873,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,2,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,5,3,0,5,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,17,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28170688004670097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.490802024637914,0.0,0.527661538206832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2724132610174654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3941853491016039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4144114298838231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ColderHeavens,2020/03/18,"I think I’m becoming manic & im scared I don’t have insurance right now but I’m gonna apply tomorrow so I can see a dr.
I’ve been feeling unsettled and weird...still sleeping a ton but everything’s brighter, smells stronger, music seems more detailed...
I remember all my scary experiences during psychosis and mania...I feel like a spirit follows me.
I’m scared.",1.4243661971830974,4.131081084507045,3.3001267605633835,84.04821830985917,90.26760563380282,6.783661971830987,26.81830985915493,7.908726449838941,2.336345352112676,291,14,53,7,10,97,55,71,0.182,0.626,0.193,-0.0516,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,2,3,0,4,2,1,0,1,11,14,5,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,5,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,4,6,1,0,12,3,4,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,3,22,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2709214288616989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2761527903438065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22472247811202284,0.2445899818751473,0.0,0.0,0.2528584541433693,0.1786307314652424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2700892905983894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12215835386164035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2832499162571673,0.21353531072677745,0.0,0.0,0.5006732210530435,0.0,0.199251855776355,0.2276297082059199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25022352526058506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16021742429614494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ak47revolver9,2020/03/18,"I've never experienced the ""no sleep or only getting like 3 hours"" thing and it kinda makes me doubt my diagnosis? New here, bp2. It seems like the no sleep or very little sleep is a universal sign of hypo/mania, yet I have never experienced that. Yeah, I'll stay up to all hours of the night, but unless I absolutely have to be up in 3 hours (like when I was in high school), I'll sleep in very late too (1pm) to get my full 10-14 hours. 

Anyway, does this like ""disqualify"" or ""invalidate"" my diagnosis? I know it's different for everyone, but it seems like that's the one everyone experiences. 

I also don't get really happy, just uncomfortably full of energy. I kind of describe it like ""every cell in my body is vibrating"", and it's like I **have** to do something, but I don't know what. 

Then it's usually followed by what I call my ""anger depression"". Not in the sense that I'm angry (even though I can be at that time or irritable), but that instead of my usual cold and empty depression, it's a very high energy depression and it's when I get my most self/outwardly destructive. At that time, I'll drive super aggressively/recklessly and fantasize about harming myself/others various violent ways. Though that also could be symptoms of the pure O that I've been also diagnosed with... Sometimes it's hard to pull apart. I also usually find myself walking around at 11pm *desperately* trying to shed the energy, willing to do anything to make the almost painful sensation stop. Anyone else?",4.014307065217391,5.7844660798611125,5.846256038647348,75.4504347826087,72.22916666666667,9.730917874396138,27.10507246376812,10.074871250255047,2.919259782608695,1173,42,218,34,23,404,154,288,0.184,0.7120000000000001,0.105,-0.9843,2,0,1,0,0,0,58.0,0,0,0,1,17,19,3,1,10,1,17,8,5,2,4,36,29,23,0,1,11,0,1,7,0,1,3,0,0,0,22,7,0,1,5,0,0,4,7,9,0,1,2,4,21,10,30,22,5,42,0,3,0,0,2,17,0,10,26,140,43,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08623077226051241,0.0,0.0,0.27546146781451164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060212939262033464,0.08823401082233119,0.07086451781410626,0.07665975314590516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09565328580514812,0.0,0.0,0.08793206332154797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0687550540541196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22250969030109288,0.08740393826624884,0.0,0.0899708437237879,0.0,0.0,0.07535897702024108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07193723079789985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05687751148856578,0.0,0.07255479306074566,0.1645713117760327,0.0,0.0842360554485199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07870667279009562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17996412742218382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09166999723382503,0.07714126562991355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18196842323173507,0.0,0.0,0.33921993355868235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0896745214362063,0.0946520489963768,0.0,0.09714038837538927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2944967922786473,0.08630889139816889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11496358123667308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13283291335613406,0.0831694767780184,0.0,0.0808121933409097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05835310238824376,0.06549360813143253,0.09163141042085828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05516685932253677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08715200624071293,0.0,0.1567899762301148,0.08983572485663477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3447049235096488,0.0,0.0,0.06629479541074919,0.08516898783383675,0.0,0.0,0.09178610917261816,0.0,0.07199519366185947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08950546039804616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05721034197043694,0.0,0.1692132148328096,0.0,0.10042757887461284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058465780721782025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2845273480278634,0.2131593056353272,0.0,0.06835331694908127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,TheNuckiestNucky,2020/03/19,"Latuda question I just started taking Latuda to replace Risperdal, as I'm always hungry on Risperdal and my doctor said that Latuda is more weight neutral. About how long until the constant hunger subsides? I assume at least a week or two? I'm also weaning off the Risperdal, so perhaps that will make me still feel hungry?

That is, if it indeed was the Risperdal making me constantly hungry.",5.449483568075117,7.868340169014091,4.813732394366198,81.62698356807516,69.84507042253522,5.2967136150234735,30.143192488262912,5.46131890053228,1.5401530516431925,316,13,48,1,6,95,54,71,0.038,0.9620000000000001,0.0,-0.3695,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,4,0,4,3,0,3,0,10,12,8,0,1,3,0,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,4,1,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,3,5,0,7,9,2,10,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,4,7,35,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.195013052456782,0.2029092848856613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5270474559413947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24959886554667365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12330186739589287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21580654331640448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3255540468320378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2731766265865734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2319646795455725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17260385721600455,0.0,0.19474521190461744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18335077155993687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23821370740242626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956080759610995,0.2969531928928113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,myBisL2,2020/03/19,"Quarantine is awesome for my mental health I'm in Oregon and am working from home due to COVID-19.  I just started as of Tuesday.  Prior to this I was getting pretty stressed at work, struggling with anxiety daily, and letting just about everything else slide so that I could use what little energy I had to just BE at work.  Showering?  Hahahaha.  

I get an extra hour of sleep since I don't have to commute.  I take a lunch and shower at that time and started taking care of myself physically for the first time in who knows how long.  The skin condition that was spreading because of this is already clearing up.

I am not thankful for the virus.  The world is messed up right now.  But I am SO thankful I have a job I can do remotely and that on top of that it is giving me an opportunity to get myself back to a healthier place.

Being clean feels good.",3.4804388984509487,5.400391174698798,4.6728399311531845,82.67951807228917,74.0,7.393459552495698,28.122203098106713,8.192908349453996,1.9975745266781413,669,27,127,11,14,220,108,166,0.087,0.7709999999999999,0.142,0.8628,3,1,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,6,9,8,0,2,9,0,19,4,2,2,1,17,34,10,0,1,5,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,10,6,1,0,2,0,0,1,2,3,0,1,3,2,15,5,26,27,1,26,0,0,0,0,2,13,0,0,12,96,25,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17291612098260295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11987075530973912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12048828946927212,0.0,0.09551942651615536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1597603415537473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12510769487256568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13089802988965493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14082678564880344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07922937576227926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13328414123555246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24559900487991554,0.15031550675334848,0.0,0.13142779353991452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665587756554817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15717721758511274,0.0,0.15431237938139913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15549497240836285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08611512148314808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1602305978650839,0.0,0.0,0.15704891223461326,0.0,0.13866957632908924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579110583937905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16371225386809973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1594144951648313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13381612593814518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296191925303973,0.0,0.15680752122444264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22181814680028344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17949285816974808,0.1638109654266448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23562931337583204,0.0,0.0,0.2885262253877757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18273948100958212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353336153613161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3422260774795455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,malestar,2020/03/19,"C60 proven to be a neuroprotective agent; worked for me. Well, this doesn't fall into the category of ""alternative medicine"" since C60 has been peer reviewed.

However, it's not clear how a neuroprotective agent would help for depression or bipolar, so the following is my story and it may not work for others, however, I think that given the shit life most bipolar sufferers live on day by day, it's worth a try. It won't do you any harm.

2 years ago my brother told me about C60 and sent me some peer reviewed papers about it.

I started taking it right away and after just 1 month, after 14 years with severe bipolar symptoms, I started to feel way better. Then the second month I had absolutely no symptoms at all but I was still on meds. The third month I told my psychiatrist about this and he started lowering my meds. By the fifth month I was without meds completely (until this day) and I was experiencing no symptoms at all. In fact I felt better than normal and able to make decisions and thinking more clearly, feeling more intelligent and having no regret or doubt and many other physical improvements such as enhanced recovery from hangovers (in fact no hangovers), fast recovery from exercise at the gym and some other weird stuff like my eyesight improving, higher sexual drive, never feeling tired and sleeping all the way 'til morning. I also never got sick of \*anything\* to this date, and I've done some risky stuff several times like being with my then-girlfriend when she had the flu and tonsillitis.

C60 acts, among other things, as a scavenger, meaning that it penetrates cells, grabs toxins and then takes them out and they're urinated or defecated. It's also anti bacterial and anti viral and it's used for Cancer.

Further reading:

 [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25589720](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25589720) 

There are plenty of peer-reviewed papers, just search.

Good luck.",9.635053226879574,9.803383889221557,8.428103792415168,67.6867398536261,58.910179640718574,11.13479707252162,37.118429807052564,10.62613485830676,4.081351164337992,1545,62,240,31,18,475,199,334,0.136,0.721,0.14300000000000002,0.569,3,0,0,0,0,0,69.0,0,1,1,4,14,14,1,1,13,0,18,15,3,3,9,60,38,32,0,3,9,1,5,2,0,3,12,0,0,0,22,21,0,0,8,3,1,5,11,7,1,2,13,6,22,7,39,20,9,46,0,3,0,0,10,13,1,10,28,167,44,9,0.10011781552943336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08874840270352201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16012836181463475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06808354774619726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08238843158998836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940639833668568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17709214369560686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10497162476145892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937031254287732,0.0,0.08623132781142875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10245528544971493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15186772720635147,0.0,0.09612880347832943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08397407360850415,0.0800733630153934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06710686135640241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0707161739440017,0.09782501504296268,0.0,0.0884058653558999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06682941929347527,0.10150375083433144,0.0,0.1090576516549103,0.3336249693219384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3196523407036713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15443406280769495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09809420219385942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10014490883218116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08550006742768584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22620926829012425,0.10276949890929496,0.08281849159490601,0.0,0.10019011941845757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2125917154059044,0.0,0.07995421680926003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2292218916073946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3121822342859545,0.1505522749245135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06651382795033882,0.12830290722210502,0.0,0.0,0.058379503361357575,0.11507070102545115,0.0,0.1913337263862016,0.0,0.06797342483847324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08646964749206378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15893772373308007,0.0,0.0,0.09001793982724103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09651000145779502,0.0,0.14577392420571098,0.0,0.0,0.0711208236316512,0.0,0.0,0.12894518141886874
bipolarreddit,bebeloves37,2020/03/19,Fear of what to do if I can’t get my meds... So my job is up in the air like so many other people right now and these things are moving quickly with people being laid off. What do I do if I lose my health insurance? My med costs over $1200 a month and I will not be able to get it anymore. I’m afraid of having another psychotic episode due to withdrawal. I’m on Latuda 40mg. What can I do? I’ve tried to get off this med in the past but my pdoc refused to help me do so and said I shouldn’t rock the boat. Anyone get off this medicine quickly? I’ve been on it for 5 years now.,0.0731282051282065,1.5500151076923103,2.2503846153846148,98.22378205128206,82.53846153846155,5.564102564102565,18.525641025641026,6.42735559955562,-0.33812820512820485,444,10,114,4,12,150,83,130,0.06,0.888,0.052000000000000005,-0.2359,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,7,4,0,2,4,0,15,1,0,0,0,10,22,9,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,10,4,0,1,0,1,1,1,3,3,0,0,2,1,12,1,18,16,0,20,0,1,0,0,3,11,0,2,9,73,22,1,0.17422617781126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18269133849539448,0.0,0.0,0.17278555241823748,0.1218229944860412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19605288779836053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3641039479443197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851942798299969,0.0,0.0,0.11678013445667824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17289259793741915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08511810997441198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1949145276404632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17663799842070074,0.0,0.0,0.5805780212041465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13906567291425426,0.1851748544324968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16631860082378816,0.24157298914540865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14878820389515365,0.16572899249177564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11574813088062663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11828813822717232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11219594628083147
bipolarreddit,lavloves,2020/03/19,"Recently diagnosed Bipolar 2, I’m confused on some things. I’m (21f) recently diagnosed Bipolar 2 as of January this year, I suspected that I may be but I didn’t actually expect to be diagnosed?? If that makes any sense. I’ve been lurking on this sub some and a few others and I notice that a lot of people are aware when their bipolar is affecting them. Me having just found out that I have this mental illness, I don’t know how to determine when I’m having a manic episode, or what. I know when I’m having a depression episode for sure, those are crippling, but I’m not sure on all of the other factors. For those of you, how are you able to tell when your bipolar is affecting you, or does it always affect us? I don’t know the difference, I’ve always been this way and never knew it. I’m all over the place, sorry. 

Side Note: I’m on 200 mg Lamictal, and 150 mg Wellbutrin, Been on this combo for a while and it’s helped me so much more than any antidepressant has and I’ve been much more stable ever since.",3.4908695652173947,4.552011420289858,5.012289855072467,83.70626086956524,72.47826086956522,8.418550724637681,26.84347826086957,8.841846274778883,1.9355484057971013,792,27,164,15,15,267,110,207,0.079,0.8740000000000001,0.047,-0.6486,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,1,4,2,0,9,4,0,1,8,0,20,8,0,6,6,38,33,20,0,2,7,0,0,0,0,1,8,0,0,0,18,7,0,0,6,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,7,0,17,2,19,23,10,20,0,1,0,0,9,9,0,8,10,115,35,0,0.1498621017308288,0.0,0.14624379342122035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24939454768542946,0.0,0.0,0.20382273633480869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12907600862567406,0.4563206360529965,0.0,0.1565739997862976,0.0,0.0,0.13114533512753046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355588507827774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.164316059371527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10044940783264734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24708087563615305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12740739977207813,0.0,0.0,0.10003411660361954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15102575060217374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22033177625317288,0.0,0.11558289156033374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17061899609987102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10389551194180507,0.0,0.1565739997862976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2959414919210589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12396747918397018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16775835349668253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28248651467236474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13098608235225925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09956172133889683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802656563482836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118953560847274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09650628009264584
bipolarreddit,eveneveronlyeither,2020/03/19,"Quarantine Ramblings On dirty gin martini number three. Forgot the lithium last night, took some this afternoon, but only because if I go manic, nobody will be able to do a thing. The sky is falling. It's raining 100something-nanometre viruses. Those sneaky beasts. What's a pangolin anyway? Serves humanity right.

Just want to bleed out the poison in my body. This energy, this burning biohazard that pulses through me, get it out. I want it out. 

My feelings are so overwhelming sometimes that I will do anything, ANYTHING to make them STOP. I thought maybe there would be a way to get better. The older you get, the more you realize there is no ""better""...only ""better than before."" Sure, I want to tear my skin off because my insides are on fire, but I can deep breathe and realize that feelings pass.

Martini number four, where you at?",3.7713157894736815,6.615677447368423,4.1071052631578935,82.53723684210526,77.15789473684211,6.694736842105264,29.23684210526316,7.865858978985527,2.3071500000000005,660,30,110,11,16,206,103,152,0.128,0.748,0.12300000000000001,-0.594,0,1,1,0,0,0,33.0,0,3,1,2,6,5,1,1,8,0,12,5,3,1,1,22,25,5,0,5,4,0,4,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,12,4,0,2,5,2,0,4,1,2,0,2,3,4,15,3,15,17,2,22,0,1,0,0,5,12,0,2,5,77,27,0,0.17834409840897156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2935239941771603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21743381412006946,0.0,0.15175769208250944,0.0,0.0,0.4731925861899166,0.0,0.19810008853335945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18035226959231068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27953229161243803,0.0,0.1013570610671792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14537424347304112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190460705526086,0.0,0.179170617927896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1673638549962657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13563872333288576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15230488558566346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1763868735732611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14910365198999906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1680872021347467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11848389434790706,0.0,0.0,0.141585292907617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19814685546276892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3155759099336082,0.14156124408256351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126690530567573,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sloth-four,2020/03/19,"Rapid onset cognitive impairment Hi there,
I’m Bipolar 1, almost 20 and diagnosed for about a year and a half now on Lithium/Abilify/Vyvanse for ADHD with no real side effects in the last 2 months. My university shut down Friday so like a lot of you I’m on complete social distancing mode, not leaving the house unless I have to. Obviously lots of anxiety and spiralling with the COVID-19 situation. Especially losing my schedule. I’ve been taking Ativan to sleep some nights because insomnia but have been careful not to abuse it. 

Anyway over the course of the last few days I feel like my cognitive function has decreased A LOT and very fast. Some stuff I expected - lack of focus, work taking longer but some of it has been scary. I’m having a lot of trouble with working memory (especially word retrieval and like trying to do calculus I can’t even keep a variable in my head), comprehension of what I read or what people say to me, very very little behaviour control- I have heard a lot of bipolar individuals have ‘filter control issues’ and I always do to but this is next level - I feel like I can’t hold myself back at all. Emotional regulation is always an issue but right now it’s like I’m 0 to 100 so fast I don’t even realize I’ve had a mood shift. 

It’s weird though it doesn’t feel like mania because I know my faculties are impaired - I’m not delusional I’m just confused a lot. I’m definitely down but not depressed (though my standards for depression are pretty intense because I always compare to times I felt worse). Anyone else have experience with this? How are you coping with all the changes in the last week?",3.589043736917482,5.954130773162942,4.980971686680622,78.57520766773166,75.13418530351437,7.7677206125371825,28.36498843230142,8.641336200584522,2.4749743086923,1304,55,230,27,29,434,175,313,0.08,0.778,0.142,0.9711,0,0,0,0,1,0,30.0,0,2,0,6,14,14,0,1,17,0,23,6,2,4,3,54,40,18,0,2,12,0,4,6,0,0,4,2,0,0,10,11,0,4,7,1,0,0,9,6,0,1,6,6,23,7,35,34,13,30,0,3,0,0,6,14,0,12,22,152,33,4,0.0,0.10690513855523008,0.0,0.0,0.10843623067520812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09035006582269126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.225230166851957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06902398756834799,0.0,0.0,0.0630893459850606,0.09244900024220544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06937957613572206,0.0,0.16500601063246578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091993212196144,0.0,0.09544900372364183,0.0,0.09460208714561222,0.0,0.20239620464857955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058189439269364374,0.0,0.1554260707469545,0.09157927464293708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07537371366751297,0.10149408292964053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11918916581884872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0882600602418914,0.0,0.0,0.13686559578771304,0.19337618408537185,0.08663279685844466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09259970996414713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10411071801238388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18834867396833327,0.0,0.08019857663341427,0.0,0.0,0.04958681589467435,0.2206429948467266,0.0,0.09553816739518267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26448434857930353,0.09043191675646177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009417813418867,0.0,0.4602504774087436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07201893526051813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09595824377551294,0.08467263827313258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06255256635719249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09179406690180247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09025217447153212,0.10269894147206744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07705401195923378,0.0,0.07175273428787292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10141977989108414,0.09029291896636628,0.09197583618188747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10328919560310824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13568008940267687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17729662738060112,0.0,0.052612531025017104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06125872467695617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2233420482039474,0.0,0.0,0.07237526465933547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13137376422061275,0.0,0.0919497933255289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058103717634717215
bipolarreddit,kevin4779,2020/03/19,I'm cold turkey(ing) off 100mg lamictal a day Hi. Any advice ? I feel fine and would like to check how I feel off my meds. Haven't felt manic or any change in my mood since stopping three days ago. Any insight is appreciated. I've been on this medicine for around a year now.,0.4072180451127849,2.7440557368421103,1.4558897243107791,99.12789473684214,88.12280701754385,4.660651629072682,18.669172932330827,6.1826913282559595,-0.3950932330827066,215,6,51,2,7,67,48,57,0.03,0.83,0.14,0.7184,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,1,0,10,8,3,0,1,1,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,4,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,2,4,4,2,7,5,0,11,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,1,7,23,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25066379409623035,0.22738534684560616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5233176253481149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283530120901981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2713591873864505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3308623105239775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2594036983465972,0.0,0.2462949264990613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12532042435755272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2849306844017265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21219211684798334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2144582868328858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18222111786566733,0.0,0.0,0.16518745074741212
bipolarreddit,666saucepan,2020/03/20,"Do you guys know when you're (hypo)manic? I was watching shameless and one of the characters were talking about how he doesnt know when hes manic. Personally I can tell when im manic, although im unaware of my thinking patterns lacking in logic lol if you know what I mean",1.2529350649350626,3.8460398000000002,3.350649350649352,85.0345454545455,87.36363636363636,5.324675324675325,27.857142857142854,6.868970318607317,1.6505324675324675,219,11,41,3,7,74,41,55,0.08199999999999999,0.863,0.055,-0.1027,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,1,6,0,0,1,0,10,11,7,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,6,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,1,7,0,4,9,1,4,0,0,1,0,8,1,0,1,3,27,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27900627836322245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.608741020780911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4645763850873129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3069407812827507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19094126789372065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24603923056586074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2264839093220933,0.2462879430845664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805531018961202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bimbothedino,2020/03/20,"Hypomanic hypersexuality affecting my relationship A little bit of a rant. I'd really really appreciate advice. I don't have friends to ask for advice. 

Hey, I need some advice on how to talk to my partner about my hypersexuality during hypomanic episodes. I told her I like to sext strangers online. This was a boundary we had not set before (open relationship). We agreed that I would not do this anymore. My therapist says I can't be making promises like this since consequences can be irrelevant to me during hypomania. 

Today I told her that I resisted the urge to talk to strangers last night by texting her (while she was asleep next to me). It helped for a bit but then I couldn't get sex off my mind. I watched porn. I sexted MYSELF! I told her what I did last night. I was proud of myself for respecting our boundary of not sexting strangers. But now she feels used, doesn't want to have sex, and she's really upset at me. Her feelings are definitely valid but I don't feel that she understands that this is something I struggle with. 

She thinks I might cheat on her in the future. 

TLDR; how have you talked about your hypersexuality with a partner without sounding like you're making an excuse?",4.14319383259912,6.432814982378857,5.314914096916301,77.1728997797357,73.18502202643172,8.064229074889868,27.20903083700441,8.841846274778883,2.2347464317180616,959,36,177,20,20,317,127,227,0.077,0.8140000000000001,0.109,0.7974,0,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,3,2,0,1,5,10,1,2,8,0,21,4,1,6,0,31,36,8,0,4,7,0,3,3,3,2,0,2,0,2,10,6,0,0,5,0,0,0,9,3,0,0,8,6,43,7,26,23,3,18,0,0,1,3,32,7,0,2,13,121,53,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.360546482834396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12197075458832232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11497690112243653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104653477633486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26854143846877193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18655883553169825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09501999502794392,0.0,0.0642559992108872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08243606552316908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20050278742403607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18025673947982865,0.1232659894393967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16419049487334306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304705183606799,0.12418252118890775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09119382414612587,0.0,0.0,0.13079881847146896,0.2308312575811025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363672173919537,0.0,0.0,0.2640855344701396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09780475858756796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017366996705224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09468194317650278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285734517165782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2965585733567316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14279820362306442,0.0,0.07880555469880758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11657796281935807,0.3525600650892353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12803453726067665,0.0,0.10622188822933268,0.0,0.0,0.07254133432205821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11855575783171225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08736693623358069,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,smolcrockpot,2020/03/20,"I'm losing it. My doctor cut me off, so to speak, because I owe her office 93 dollars. I cannot make a new appointment for medication refills, and my primary doctor told me that since I have an HMO, she can't prescribe anything outside of my psych's office. She's also out sick rn, so its not like she could do much for me anyway. My OBGYNE said the same thing. I called Mutual Ground, and made an appt. with them for when they're supposed to be back in the office, but my state (IL) is about to go on lockdown, and I'm fucking terrified. I have been without medication for almost two months, and I don't know how much longer I can go on without it. I have seizures when I'm stressed, but I've started having them in my sleep. I called my Neuro, and made an appt. for her first availability in June. I made an appt. with my primary for next month. I've done all I can do. They said to go to the ER if I really need it, but I don't want to risk it with the virus. I'm healthy, besides mentally, right now, and that seems like such a stupid thing to do. My work has shut down, and I don't have 93 dollars to spare right now. I don't know how to apply for disability or unemployment, but I'm looking into that today. I feel so overwhelmed and all I do is cry. 
I don't know I don't know I don't know.
Please, if you pray, pray for me. I'm so scared.",1.4965625000000031,2.864303864583338,3.3893055555555565,92.13625,78.0625,6.605555555555558,22.06944444444445,7.333567415737692,0.5290736111111111,1035,29,245,13,24,349,139,288,0.14400000000000002,0.807,0.048,-0.9802,3,1,0,0,0,0,43.0,0,1,3,3,15,10,3,4,10,0,27,7,1,6,2,43,56,24,0,5,10,0,1,2,0,0,5,3,0,0,10,13,0,0,7,0,3,3,12,8,1,2,8,5,42,2,33,46,5,30,2,2,1,1,15,13,1,5,15,159,52,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11700115593932835,0.0,0.0,0.09343912070529116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09615164380396436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08984487761625327,0.0,0.07122626790637035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.238619063312334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932894440130948,0.0,0.1283462959883836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2391870516553036,0.0,0.11957072033389185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059079215086620535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09938640020737917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10801925779716492,0.0,0.0,0.19921331596896905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3210686525903156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11416695062649307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09811849893433323,0.13071717205777106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3316783614560411,0.07799345606565547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23541359595550254,0.11775003013269053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865255680396865,0.0,0.17178575964400414,0.0866374332142259,0.0,0.11284747505796555,0.12426361111541305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282582738921098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0748524701921852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1995661737908548,0.22228846139646324,0.0,0.11697999584357388,0.0,0.0,0.1063692692163432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966535465057048,0.0,0.11692715213880606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08270191377153742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13384299790698942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1552502886557268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11075328359767793,0.11164827362368916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11413840806662436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06891689285370478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252645208703699,0.0,0.08506292792346867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Duckettbilly,2020/03/20,Help.. going crazy really manic Idk what is going on I’ve been off meds for 6 months I don’t have health insurance I don’t have a job for I’m waiting to move to start a job currently living back at my house with my girlfriend of 5 years and horrible mom and autism sister who I take care of more than her now... my dad committed suicide a couple months ago he had bipolar aswell but he said mine seemed more severe than his was.... anyways this past couple days have hit me hard right now I’m at point where I don’t care what happens if I go to jail die idc I wouldn’t ever hurt myself but I’m going insane here’s why.. my moms a lunatic she also has a mental disability she’s not smart and doesn’t mean harm but it’s like I’m the parent it’s really hard on me but I can deal with it from time to time... I live in a mobile home there’s the baddest kids 2 of them are in boys village anyways they fight each other curse at each other beat each other up with stuff and parents are all careless and don’t even watch them they are so loud I can’t even focus they stomped down a shed yesterday and today there dad got them a basketball court there so much more loud I live on a block so that block is vibrating through my house no parents outside it’s bouncing off cars I complained to office and they Just never do shit I keep telling my gf I’m going crazy I need to get out but there nowhere to go I’m panicking I feel sick I even checked my temp I’m so fucking bad rn idk what to do please help I can’t vent to anyone rn.,-0.3843391945547374,1.8320257560975608,1.5232983550765766,97.7274305161657,91.74390243902441,4.392626205331822,17.079126488939313,6.018495889221684,-0.4664737095859333,1200,31,275,11,43,393,181,328,0.24100000000000002,0.698,0.061,-0.9964,6,0,0,0,2,3,15.0,0,0,7,1,21,12,3,0,11,0,23,5,1,0,4,35,52,18,2,3,8,8,3,1,2,1,3,3,1,2,14,14,0,4,3,0,1,8,11,8,0,0,5,7,38,4,34,45,8,41,0,1,1,1,33,16,2,2,18,165,52,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08766665456396291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07908828414632277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06915142197452709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07604606246688987,0.0825752701962826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2016651571209549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2188563752907725,0.0,0.06378069714543845,0.1019589659081098,0.0,0.0,0.10263997698754326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19596257113561133,0.08945843844005369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05000554066266783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09142913256731136,0.05166985480268648,0.0,0.3372343236999837,0.0,0.07909735433431883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08745472061278489,0.0,0.17718544474332926,0.0,0.0,0.10512340339212532,0.0,0.0,0.13257780093365026,0.0,0.09920224247102204,0.0,0.0,0.22822884215823566,0.105871804641575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19628099024626505,0.08790462998058217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04831631635182966,0.0,0.2619848771411068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077283554851923,0.10985281255207834,0.0,0.09966540535783264,0.0,0.0,0.2316550815939688,0.1578780602206762,0.10511237678860748,0.07270103179731423,0.07333123304280788,0.0762758383511406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32944186476843795,0.0,0.09440884125612704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10855974171342632,0.09349009114404408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267125244100991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08445791302203359,0.0940741568663802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09003255729206022,0.0,0.11172600958580484,0.1015168485982811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07000014989907385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11321396091586294,0.10817779841401984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07435860183150271,0.0,0.08644076219995606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11533583926897514,0.0,0.09374325333110088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08923959895930722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06368673876249316
bipolarreddit,truly-we-are-alone,2020/03/20,"I’m on Prozac and Zyprexa. It doesn’t make me sleepy and only seems to help for a few hours I’ve noticed after being on it a month or so now some differences.  The zyprexa was to help me with sleep but it didn’t.  so I decided to take the meds in the morning instead.  Which I like because for a good few hours my anxiety isn’t overwhelming.   It’s still there which is stressful but not overwhelming.  

She prescribed Xanax too but I used to abuse those so I’m cautious about it.  I try not to take any at all.  

By the afternoon I feel jittery and nervous.  I just wanted to hear about people’s experiences with the medication.   My next appointment is in April but idk what’s shutting down or not shutting down because of the virus.   I’m nervous and scared.  What if I can’t get more medicine and I have to go back to spending every second a nervous wreck.  I was smoking and drinking to cope at the time and if medicine stops I’ll want to go back but can’t if everything is shut down.  

I think I’m done rambling.  I’m not sure if I’m even making any sense.",1.215778401122023,3.444585336405531,2.4997034662392323,93.94533159687435,82.73271889400922,5.617231015828493,24.181326387497496,6.895973343053719,0.7793159286716089,826,32,181,10,23,265,117,217,0.165,0.779,0.055999999999999994,-0.9740000000000001,0,0,1,0,1,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,14,10,0,7,11,0,13,5,1,3,2,38,33,21,0,6,16,0,1,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,10,9,1,1,4,1,1,2,9,7,0,1,4,2,15,3,28,28,5,27,0,2,0,0,4,12,0,8,14,117,25,0,0.0,0.17955491955270506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20611030244628595,0.0,0.1159307840814291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23305604164601496,0.0,0.18475969359520075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15833127859773122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15508217895740292,0.0,0.14845547637889675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10009341631927762,0.0,0.1276823988554457,0.0,0.13619802125837344,0.1482391607234338,0.0,0.0,0.07662522548280754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07917551180234657,0.0,0.1722519528277325,0.12710795986731013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17080115915797053,0.0,0.2031535657035678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2984807276625725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07403676844397289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20231366135965195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683312772979928,0.15266468795634086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209610155483136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16116881727466933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725339062834494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11525607948352247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050615636616792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15172203194218972,0.0,0.0,0.13796001226816548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15165349411907808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12102327474065087,0.12669761217721712,0.1735931981980679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428284744457504,0.0,0.22788453265055536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09710330868356837,0.0,0.0,0.08836655471692459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10288846289263856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130885403206742,0.0,0.0,0.17876921508679736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,temeraria,2020/03/20,"I'm afraid of falling asleep Hello! BP1 here.

I am actively terrified of falling asleep. I can only go to sleep when I feel absolutely destroyed which is around 2 am. I have to sleep with lights on and sounds. If someone can sleep next to me, all the better. I am terrified of losing consciousness and never waking up. This started because of Seroquel. I took that fucking horrible thing for 5 months (three years ago) and it gave me rapid heartbeat plus the exquisite sensation that I had just received an intravenous shot of anesthesia that I couldn't fight. Falling asleep against your will while your heart is racing is not a nice way to sleep.

I stopped the medication when I started to get panic attacks and couldn't stop crying because I was so terrified of the side effects. I haven't been able to find a good mix of medication since 2017. I am so tired. Lamictal fucked up my memory. Risperidal is destroying my liver. Once I realized that my fear of my medication wasn't just in my head, but there was actual biological evidence to it, I worsened. I used to fall asleep slightly uncomfortable, now I literally sit up with my heart racing because I am petrified of losing control over my body.

I've developed a Panic Disorder because I am so terrified of my medication's side effects. I genuinely believe the medication is no longer working and it's slowly killing me or making my life worse.

The beautiful irony is that my delusions are worsening because I am not on the correct antipsychotic dose, but we've tried different meds and the side effects always beats the benefits. I'm trying to rationally face my fears, but the sensation of being unable to breathe and terrifying chest pain is horrible. I've always been an anxious person but this is straight out misery. My psych tried to give me klonopin and Lyrica but it worsens my symptoms and makes me more anxious - isn't that fantastic?

TL;DR: I developed a panic disorder from my meds side effects and now I can't sleep. Anxiety medication makes me more anxious because I truly believe (and have seen the evidence) that my body cannot withstand psychiatric medication.",6.042606931828202,7.885110196930944,6.659068700943648,71.33465473145782,67.23529411764707,10.20128759149837,35.98915248258224,10.401786478921641,4.2743044536555255,1721,88,281,47,29,563,195,391,0.282,0.654,0.064,-0.9985,1,0,0,0,1,0,38.0,0,2,0,10,12,20,7,6,17,0,34,33,19,9,3,47,51,25,1,3,11,0,1,0,0,1,12,1,0,1,15,16,0,3,8,0,0,7,11,16,0,1,9,4,47,4,37,38,3,37,0,2,1,2,8,14,2,2,14,188,62,3,0.07112120792065363,0.0,0.06940403957297554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06304465961352773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11835708478232282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05440752939199346,0.24104016331006195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06331295362108558,0.0,0.08091064140068466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26012896935146845,0.0,0.0,0.16025849301446327,0.0,0.06290092880216086,0.0,0.1579992577424384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07976848224207188,0.0,0.0,0.07812330730619563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07430652489960954,0.16302213185912012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16006226356703818,0.035961019677876974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06500349557015841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13150082138153588,0.03715789571893659,0.0682259432721764,0.04041982145018716,0.059653094880989535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07299087779557249,0.0,0.0,0.1685579476424791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07868507908059122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05023501245835581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15913287912555532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424218756567999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579992577424384,0.5015299425464917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0567682696263631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05485306003179991,0.0,0.07563821147612737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07574176529037002,0.0,0.05409088346802789,0.07567797964557298,0.2503362407237726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062100295483442126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0588321981382483,0.0,0.3558628540322272,0.0,0.06026076867412665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10067991405017374,0.0,0.0,0.11892102883709495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07392216685370462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04724977030550482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08174336615245567,0.0,0.0,0.07901827888846126,0.14485989497827406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06142588854528816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05645270442767805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051777086415734,0.0,0.07247858692592442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045799726100504486
bipolarreddit,mcCheester,2020/03/20,"Anyone awake? Dunno if something's brewing or I'm just wide-awake tonight. Bored in my house, can't go anywhere. Anyone else?",0.5949999999999989,2.534558500000003,1.032,96.21300000000002,109.83333333333334,1.92,21.466666666666672,3.1291,-0.3632733333333333,100,4,18,0,5,30,22,24,0.115,0.885,0.0,-0.3527,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,3,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,6,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5732876433672949,0.420038190703916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3424573357482736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23298179701899194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4730227207675437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31559651043733034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,pussytsunami27,2020/03/20,"I just want to spread love if I can. I am pregnant. I cannot take medication right now. The medication I was on was working but isn’t safe for pregnancy. I am a veteran I’m school. The transition to civilian life has been difficult and I’m not making friends like I did in the military. I have a whole heap of issues going on and I had a bad mixed episode recently. I’m just here to offer a perspective on this. 

I have not had many mixed episodes in my life. I have not been diagnosed long. But the mixed episodes I’ve had have always had dire consequences and ended me up in the ward. This episode didn’t end that way. Minimal damage was done. I’m still alive. My baby is okay. But I learned a fuck ton about changes i need to make. This rocked my world and I’m in reflection mode. I am not doing things right. 

If you’re having a hard time right now, write. Write so much. Reach out. Do something small for yourself. These are uncertain times. I feel for everyone right now. I’m willing to guess I’m not the only one who recently had a bad episode. There is a lot to learn from these episodes. My doc said it’s like having a superpower but not knowing how to control it. 

We will all be okay. If you’re depressed, this seems invalidating. If you’re manic, it may also seem invalidating. We aren’t this disorder. It is okay to be upset right now and out of whack due to where the world is currently. Just know that you are worthy. You aren’t alone and we as a community can make it through this. Be kind to others. Be kind to yourself. Do your best.",0.7630213191205897,3.155851284810129,2.4031578947368435,92.64447368421057,86.78481012658226,6.111125916055963,21.60692871419053,7.475848149327749,0.8234696202531651,1210,42,267,22,38,395,157,316,0.158,0.7290000000000001,0.114,-0.9511,4,1,1,0,0,0,40.0,3,3,0,3,15,19,1,2,17,3,45,7,0,5,1,51,68,18,0,6,17,0,2,2,1,3,5,1,0,0,18,11,0,2,8,1,0,1,11,8,0,1,14,3,26,11,30,47,6,35,0,2,0,2,13,19,1,10,16,177,44,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11745005802732633,0.0,0.09068737340901124,0.09435937674304866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18937152179924888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11900818609842882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11996406113788105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12718975432597046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09767279869936428,0.1151004334632664,0.0,0.0,0.12996828019075327,0.0,0.0,0.11604940716324688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20088065947223133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083602735573432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057339354210856314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08761394446679015,0.10483813089500776,0.0,0.0,0.06444885267526641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12492486073404625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10158573272592067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11836200985709908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361810346915229,0.1246453201511656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601980810854747,0.11080477646068693,0.0,0.0,0.10035701883175208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09641014967263542,0.10234954626854667,0.0,0.2270897335173089,0.11497161964329745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22848075325227066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08336336650856499,0.08408599308075324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07684399023707147,0.08624717414949866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2239411806652785,0.0,0.0,0.4842225607906978,0.10787107450827137,0.0,0.0,0.11476866940414435,0.0,0.2064734677264556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08730224106025608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09056281889400714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08526403579561041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07533911274478322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13225099565791462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0668873160324895,0.09001306537842055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266090527959723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08255785638426483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,drnightsky,2020/03/20,"An ever elusive job! I have been struggling to get job and even if I do get, stayed at it for long is very difficult. Not sure if I ever be employed! 

Just had a discussion with a potential employer yesterday. Think I said all the wrong things! And most of the times just fumbled or found myself searching for words or rushing through things!  My interviewer had a psychology degree! Not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing! How does one cope with struggling through college to get a degree only to sit at home without employment?? It is frustrating to be dependent. Also feeling guilty for not being of use when all my friends are fighting in the frontline :(

P.S : I am sorry for venting in these times.",2.9689978678038367,5.592740313432834,3.817484008528787,84.74089552238807,78.70149253731344,6.8136460554371014,28.974413646055442,7.957251820313856,2.19683539445629,558,26,102,10,14,178,87,134,0.22399999999999998,0.725,0.05,-0.9747,5,0,0,0,2,0,17.0,0,0,0,0,8,11,2,2,10,0,12,0,0,3,6,30,20,11,0,3,12,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,8,4,0,0,3,0,0,1,4,7,0,1,5,2,8,4,19,12,3,14,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,8,7,80,16,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12429458967032884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12977471235783147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360148582815786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10265779831974403,0.2811845020656409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07858835508948428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17041723601584696,0.12008219962203218,0.0,0.2436119383678901,0.0,0.0,0.13036445141676442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15590554473908708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30847382018819103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13754764315393234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10532108138219033,0.11820892719859193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14784628156372187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17398734506426447,0.0,0.1656640671751415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3249712419072085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2929754475998363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4130340863443284,0.09959108446474048,0.0,0.0,0.18126099170008111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13423867242713242,0.0,0.12824321619794718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14982568852063458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699345793530111,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,xNintenx,2020/03/20,"Pharma switched lamictal brands I was on Aurobindo 100mg. The peach shields.  Now today it's Unichem, the white triangles with a big indent.  

Does anyone here have experience switching generics?  Does Unichem work for you or aurobindo?  Are there other brands?",5.04612403100775,8.649549000000004,3.395697674418604,83.48176356589148,82.25581395348838,5.657364341085271,32.748062015503876,7.1686216300943375,2.6337317829457367,209,11,31,3,6,59,38,43,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,3,2,0,4,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,1,2,17,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2869550854804036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7182722503697543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40144136439795736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38900289400767796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2987696983793049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ansdhuskansjak,2020/03/21,"I think I may be bipolar and not clinically depressed I know there’s no way for anyone to diagnose me through this app haha, but I just wanted to share my experience and see if there’s a possibility that I may be bipolar and not depressed. I was diagnosed with depression when I was 16 & I’m 21 now. Recently, I noticed a few things...

• I’ve been making very impulsive and rash decisions. I cut my own bangs and quit my internship bc I was having a bad day all within the same weekend. When it comes to smaller decisions I haven’t been really thinking through anything and I just do it. I also keep saying the wrong thing (maybe it’s social anxiety?). 
• I’m very irritable, especially with my family. I lash out at them for no reason and get angry for little things. 
• I’ve been very optimistic and very pessimistic within the same day before! Same goes with confidence! Sometimes I’m super confident and I love myself and other times I hate myself so much I want to kill myself. 
• Sometimes I’ll be excited to do something productive, study, and then my energy just fades out. Maybe this is just normal with students? 

I think my biggest problems is my impulsiveness and my extreme optimism/pessimism. Lmk your thoughts. Again, I know no one can diagnose",2.4501309471846326,5.289071426160337,4.127199185217517,80.02860759493673,83.68354430379749,7.488374799941801,26.315873708715266,8.433251757073789,2.4850140840971933,996,43,174,25,29,332,137,237,0.205,0.6459999999999999,0.149,-0.961,0,0,1,0,0,1,30.0,0,1,1,2,12,14,3,0,6,1,18,8,1,2,1,48,36,19,1,5,8,0,0,0,0,2,6,1,0,0,10,19,0,1,9,1,0,1,6,9,0,1,7,2,33,5,19,24,7,20,0,3,1,1,6,7,0,3,11,126,43,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926304365389898,0.0,0.12550341957302044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08861080708500163,0.0,0.0,0.08099210235666951,0.0,0.09531948366246047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09671449328013183,0.0,0.0,0.09856410472787884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09977861081402163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14940351489766793,0.0,0.2992965936074176,0.3526997087933048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11330546737336288,0.10919566227651596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0605171961680699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11435965994841765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10295639027690666,0.12815043139790874,0.0,0.12731596455077546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160936279159327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1045424825313218,0.0,0.07731844893246181,0.0,0.23273669106673586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08514950583275879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11349031075056785,0.0,0.13187497010773275,0.0,0.0,0.07849044573111989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13058265149066178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11083513542295227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12320109525616385,0.0,0.0,0.07420464723541871,0.11909410949983508,0.11436966660465825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09211388561850746,0.0,0.0,0.09230273648441596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11807566272992714,0.0,0.08917277451372391,0.22912069946406044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308599744266933,0.2226605113021065,0.0,0.09195730013135954,0.06754229944039485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3822925883125759,0.13664088064535834,0.09194168081823856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12664359977606238,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Cosmic-Nightmare,2020/03/21,"I think I may have cyclothymic disorder Background:
I am 17, I have diagnosed asd, adhd, OCD, anxiety (multiple forms) and panic disorder. 

Since I was about 11/12 I've had these highs where I barely eat, I can't sleep, and I just start project after project, never finishing them. I always thought that ADHD could cause these manic symptoms, but recently I looked it up and apparently ADHD doesn't cause the mania I feel. 
This is always followed by a period where I'm overly tired and binge eat. 
I hate self diagnosis, and I don't think I fit the criteria for full bipolar disorder as my cycles are short and recurrent rather than long and spaced out. 

Then last week I did a project on bipolar disorder for AP psych and when looking at the criteria for cyclothymic disorder I realised I fit it. Each and every one. I'm planning on talking to a doctor about it once I'm 18 so as to not sorry my parents, but wanted insite by those diagnosed with the disorder. 
Thank you in advance!",7.5408021390374325,7.1111271711229955,7.857010695187168,72.03845721925134,63.38502673796792,11.330267379679144,36.88181818181818,10.793553405168565,4.0592335828877015,779,34,138,18,10,256,118,187,0.193,0.7829999999999999,0.025,-0.9839,4,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,1,2,8,3,1,1,7,0,13,10,1,2,1,27,27,16,0,3,5,1,1,0,0,1,7,0,0,1,8,12,2,0,4,0,0,2,5,2,0,1,4,3,21,1,21,21,3,28,0,0,2,0,5,15,0,1,11,94,29,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35587490778653075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16426195963816312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0755095262225874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20279571509808955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07880840278529501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2003682454088589,0.0,0.0,0.6787511257011688,0.1010293806940923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2020009745100252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08316373878543072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049908525321813765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09745136090903334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10428790282794027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08045825126475843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08735136425094106,0.16577571592387394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07612785622039064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10511825984842252,0.06688548005742907,0.0,0.0,0.11580977329568752,0.10960090576613543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09745988806160827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029714845898868,0.0,0.0,0.08165030571497063,0.0,0.0987769002139088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11049285618623292,0.06986434318021231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10259292893552532,0.0,0.0793358353979466,0.0,0.09087486987767536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12649314660361122,0.0,0.0783612337371716,0.0,0.11344758563728748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058219129808120815,0.0,0.07917569148333099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,halesofbae,2020/03/21,"Writing a f-you letter for closure? Has anyone written a letter to the person who ""gave"" you bipolar disorder?

As much as I think I've progressed, I relapse and remember things I don't want to remember. I feel that I will get the closure I need if I basically write a ""fuck you"" letter to those who deserve it. As much as I want to send them, the dramatic backlash is unnecessary, as I don't care about a response back. I just want to speak my peace and let them know how their actions permnately fucked up my life. From there, I can move on. Self-reflection is necessary. I know how this makes me look if I do this. I was happy and normal before them, and I want them to know how their actions affect people's lives.",4.05395833333333,4.96977870138889,5.185722222222221,83.53150000000002,71.0138888888889,7.982222222222222,28.98333333333333,8.238735603445708,1.933096666666667,559,21,113,8,10,185,85,144,0.13699999999999998,0.809,0.053,-0.8061,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,2,6,1,7,4,2,0,7,0,10,4,0,5,0,27,28,14,0,8,3,0,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,8,4,0,0,7,0,0,4,2,2,0,0,3,3,26,2,16,23,2,7,0,0,1,2,19,2,2,2,1,81,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11971409063646428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13165000740058516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456871944740126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17456011900006851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962216204689401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08656897654861212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3165619780605031,0.08945021670415275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822563470907357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28227779887563265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17507393861806073,0.12093076487767104,0.0,0.0,0.1511816649699868,0.0,0.14377337310215768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11428407874399805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18196925301869896,0.2517182629492173,0.12695012811456252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16774955770036468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11869553379427372,0.14949406528300546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3878953613148325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17860948559707376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137443902910497,0.10970452614337252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40393663812278346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sammybr00ke,2020/03/21,"My roommate just texted for coronaviris Ok so I feel like with all the panic I can’t really tell anyone this without creating more worry especially with my family. My roommate just traveled back from Mexico to the US, I’m in Arizona, and he has been coughing since he got back. I was joking with another roommate how he probably has corona. Welllll yesterday he told us that he went to get tested because his friend who was on the trip came back positive.

His symptoms don’t match up so they initially wouldn’t test him but decided to bc he was with someone who came back positive. So now it’s a waiting game to see if he has it. 

I really don’t wanna have to quarantine bc of missing work in case they can’t set me up from home. I can technically afford it but it’ll eat all my savings! 

Ugh so idk the point of this post but I am just mildly worried and feel like I have to hide this info.",3.4058879242304663,4.8453445414364635,5.163745067087612,81.06830110497239,73.19889502762429,8.928334648776639,27.84569850039464,9.424239791934726,2.5095300710339385,706,27,140,17,14,241,110,181,0.092,0.8009999999999999,0.107,0.415,1,1,0,0,0,0,11.0,2,0,2,1,13,9,0,1,5,1,17,3,0,1,2,27,29,11,0,3,8,0,2,2,1,2,2,0,1,0,10,8,1,1,4,3,0,5,6,3,0,0,9,3,19,6,22,18,3,19,0,1,1,0,20,6,0,1,8,94,29,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.151129138470324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10077655763091677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4432973424391383,0.0,0.08785813980851853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32968450221750895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14747732885144407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13586958027086266,0.0,0.14574931668976598,0.2059279144061387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113517296652081,0.0,0.0753001160586712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152710798985712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14457057020721514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14082579650024807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16910132302051503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13624607114468304,0.0,0.13803328884880173,0.0,0.15539267855637048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846621754716364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11485011219797127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11922288014655147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12211786451174035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14980255570704087,0.0,0.0,0.12597286078532322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13771898938049645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3467327218851746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13360665339182395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389327445496958,0.0,0.10492576452055873,0.2927347908274044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SociopathWithBipolar,2020/03/21,"How I cope with hallucinations.. My personal experience. At times my mania gets out of hand, and fearful emotions such as anger or a downward slope to sadness causes my hallucinations. BTW I’m bipolar 1. I constantly work on perceiving real versus fake, usually the hallucinations are visual and auditory, sometimes just auditory. I keep in mind shadows can’t have a mind of their own. I try to distance myself from other people when I feel my mania is getting crazy, key word try. 

Here is how I cope:

Even though I refuse medication for hallucinations, the mood stabilizers seem to work half of the time.

I have a safe place in my house, if I feel scared, not knowing if it’s real or not.

Delusional hallucinations are the worst, I will talk to people who aren’t there, I tend to scare people during these. When I come back to reality I take people I scared out to do fun activities if possible.

I tell everyone that it is possible for me to hallucinate at any given moment, and that if they feel I’m a danger to myself or them to call 911

I practice mental health everyday, which is very hard to do.

Mindfulness makes me a better person.

Writing is a great way to document how I feel on a day to day basis.

That’s it really.",4.19548712206047,6.077056212765959,6.155386338185892,72.96105263157895,71.97872340425532,9.202687569988802,27.68756998880179,9.682069395223575,2.7893829787234043,970,36,176,25,19,337,137,235,0.149,0.7829999999999999,0.068,-0.9538,1,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,3,3,12,14,2,4,11,0,14,4,1,5,0,40,30,17,0,4,11,0,6,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,10,7,0,3,7,0,0,1,4,9,0,1,1,6,29,4,29,28,2,23,0,1,0,0,11,10,0,8,11,120,39,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07657067006860764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08658110274241781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09958400050778897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11497540085249801,0.0,0.0,0.11566941771900202,0.0,0.09699342086397232,0.0,0.12167870525687124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14523311039112866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12665787413702864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07437008112702714,0.0,0.0,0.10759245163552296,0.0,0.11014269284243523,0.0,0.12670433362337094,0.22773223035392035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11765587493251235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12413996636473056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10086591401403952,0.0,0.0,0.1196866727148309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12992326092024034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10008249675250117,0.0,0.0,0.061881052620551213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07516020514490819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11343088932372344,0.11347255099379168,0.0,0.3410763981862712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3122457919880819,0.1966328947671913,0.1176412042596189,0.0,0.0,0.2538752137404444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2563229151396453,0.07213332116622474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3381914687067649,0.0,0.0,0.1025052164464195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11136254679466014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08465986976983814,0.09050220691588493,0.09841583206791096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11062720735778844,0.0,0.13131388826315554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15289363903721487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12401106284888473,0.09290534717027812,0.0,0.08937524856069891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16394573174376265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,tumblinglikepoe,2020/03/21,"The calm in the midst of the storm How are y’all staying calm with all this craziness? 

Yesterday was officially my last day of work and despite seeing my therapist today to come up with a schedule to remain productive, part of my brain is going crazy.",10.39125,7.710765625,9.749166666666664,67.91250000000002,59.41666666666666,12.933333333333335,40.66666666666667,11.20814326018867,4.459466666666667,202,8,36,4,2,65,38,48,0.10400000000000001,0.8079999999999999,0.08800000000000001,-0.2023,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,4,0,3,1,1,1,1,6,6,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,4,2,9,5,2,10,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,5,25,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3698180518989744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.285368394971521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2136482002586662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882740639634179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.270037423402953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3587439676945364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639872769037941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35310041232006195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3846416248706965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3140147138077231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24117579271568454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,loganaytt,2020/03/21,I don’t really know what to put here My names Logan I’m 16 and I can feel my depressive episode coming on and I just need a place to vent a little. I don’t even really know what to say I’m just so tired of being in a sinking boat that every time I feel like I’ve fixed it something however small tears open a newer hole even bigger. It’s such a feeling of uncertainty that I’m tired of living in. I’ve been trying to get on mood stabilizers. I feel so trapped in a place I don’t want to be. I know I shouldn’t feel like this I’m having the time of my life I’m dating the most amazing girl my one ray of hope and I’ve got great friends but it always feels so hopeless like I’m just trying to fill the void with things that aren’t really helping. I guess I’m looking for advice but I know the advice I’m going to get isn’t really going to help but I’d like to just hear what you guys have to say I guess.,0.3541563467492246,1.9365280637254896,2.8267801857585155,93.91945820433435,82.08823529411767,5.863364293085656,17.599587203302374,6.8360192770164,-0.18793725490196067,711,14,172,8,19,246,101,204,0.091,0.7609999999999999,0.14800000000000002,0.8405,2,1,1,0,0,1,7.0,0,1,0,0,11,11,0,0,10,0,12,3,0,0,0,31,43,9,0,4,7,0,6,4,1,1,3,3,0,2,11,6,0,0,10,0,0,5,6,2,0,1,2,10,17,8,22,38,1,20,0,2,1,0,10,11,0,4,8,91,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23127202140844494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09846455577111657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10193549310951107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10192213076018533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15631886832633118,0.0,0.09970270187705868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35900368795031873,0.1690777068526099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09142565814916,0.0,0.1236507540578091,0.0,0.1345055015763601,0.0,0.09464365193946432,0.1304652271594154,0.2607196304495015,0.11717067841522312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13337262774223702,0.0,0.15863548600411026,0.0,0.0,0.11753378080871756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2601362260171408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08358381240912878,0.23125085112059435,0.11860318671443852,0.10449235095249396,0.0,0.0993719560027136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08774422045850877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08018714857536051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2472706717503818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11895978963065675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30323482138104746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882101640051327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09110039384034313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0786168002021234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13800467942051922,0.2720183333423705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16068397577629062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06979730141494969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,LeatherResident,2020/03/22,"Drugs in the Time of Coronavirus This is my first reddit post? I have been using Adderall for about a year now. Never more than 40 mg at a time, and I can still get high off 10 mg, but I take it basically everyday right now and I'm not prescribed it, and I feel euphoric and cravings for it. As a matter of fact, my psychiatrist has seriously warned me against taking it because I'm bipolar (1) and can (and have) had manic episodes triggered from using the drug. Now that coronavirus has hit, I feel like the world is ending. I've started going on a bit of what I would call a bender with Adderall weed Ativan (which I am prescribed) Molly and alcohol. I haven't been completely sober in over a week, I did Molly three times last weekend. I knew I was in a hypomanic episode starting two weeks ago when I started going on a sex binge, and now with all my drug use I feel completely out of control. Something that's egging me on is that I can't even go to a fucking hospital if I go full blown manic because of coronavirus. I'm a college student living on campus alone so I don't go back to a household that debilitates me mentally, but this also means I have no supervision when it comes to drugs. I've been off my meds for two weeks, I just cannot bring myself to take them and I'm also scared that the pharmacy will run out of them anyways due to the virus, so what is the point. I don't know what to do, because I can't stop taking Adderall (and everything else) and even though I take it I can't focus on my schoolwork because I keep having panic attacks about the world ending. How do you guys deal with being bipolar (or an addict? Am I an addict? I don't think so?) during the time of Coronavirus. Trying to feel less alone.",4.118653846153848,4.941711068376068,5.241955128205127,83.52908653846156,70.7948717948718,7.901282051282053,28.30021367521368,8.07648339933343,1.7650008547008549,1359,48,276,18,24,450,176,351,0.079,0.883,0.038,-0.9198,0,2,6,0,0,0,38.0,0,1,2,2,21,6,2,2,21,0,33,11,0,6,3,44,67,25,0,2,6,0,4,1,0,2,9,0,0,1,17,17,1,3,8,1,0,8,11,5,0,4,7,4,37,1,40,56,5,58,0,0,0,2,6,20,1,2,30,193,54,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18948363967793416,0.0,0.0,0.07703810609302436,0.09287750765647652,0.0,0.1800195720584706,0.0,0.13899952393721748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09886963645280927,0.0,0.06682637380677747,0.0,0.21191161166929867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09488029769725262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08874210275204622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07486297118133586,0.1822413681550009,0.0,0.09747396267210016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08959764316126709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4031396552811217,0.0,0.07259992414621881,0.0,0.15394820130527634,0.0,0.0,0.11480294623228995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07810670614735482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1757718332458519,0.062086615316192875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07392333216742909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08034442798971707,0.045405493980567695,0.0,0.2469571976618672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08605192219036778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09182236775798082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07724722979557958,0.0,0.0,0.04776199682141335,0.0708410749134113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04245853253611508,0.0,0.0767407663356533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09466756226040396,0.09653445395055543,0.0,0.0875821497917316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0670282920736096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10196702882279092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0821555196331403,0.0,0.08323320061099028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0742183866391254,0.0,0.0,0.08700940039728827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06690551004988084,0.0,0.0,0.1845403706098268,0.0,0.06940430756498568,0.07265842097018732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3267174894101097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05568670915486647,0.08538601239678559,0.0,0.20270545662144546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05900437365285341,0.0,0.16979167038880602,0.0,0.0,0.2251800936487953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20913545858342109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06173647513028405,0.0,0.0,0.055965472412591734
bipolarreddit,FEEDMEpills,2020/03/22,"Have other people thought you were bipolar without you telling them? Has anyone else had others think you were bipolar before you told them or even before you knew yourself? Before I was diagnosed I had a sibling say I was bipolar, roommates tell me I had a mental disorder, and friends say that I am crazy or have ‘crackhead energy’ sometimes. One of my close friends later told me how funny it was when I was hypomanic because I would get especially out of control when drinking, and the only thing that would really settle me down during that time was smoking weed, so he would make me smoke if I was getting to ramped up to be around.

It is just strange to me that it seems everyone around me knew to some extent, except for me. Talk about denial. Before I was diagnosed I never thought that my ‘mental stuff’ was seeping into real life, but in retrospect it absolutely was. Anyone else relate?",9.14486526946108,7.920844946107786,8.661429640718563,70.1450785928144,60.61676646706586,10.745209580838326,38.240269461077844,9.516144504307137,3.6961383233532943,714,29,119,10,8,228,102,167,0.031,0.9279999999999999,0.040999999999999995,0.3899,0,0,2,0,0,0,14.0,0,5,2,1,9,2,0,0,3,0,23,7,0,3,1,29,34,10,0,4,7,0,0,0,2,3,6,2,0,0,13,7,1,1,6,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,20,2,26,2,17,10,2,13,0,0,0,0,17,8,0,5,5,97,39,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17013208028275809,0.2493058136153781,0.0,0.21660266774087225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0741615334299283,0.0,0.41408768733315343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13644969210154587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24696043781272295,0.0,0.0,0.13943050608892207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11917843724563815,0.0,0.0,0.20325914787462704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08035390291067962,0.0,0.0,0.1162493476089663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18798520068930466,0.0,0.12712247462860982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08593058047486217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08120760036075722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24520512032273906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938300810269034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08243854910537897,0.09252632352104913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08434227740999622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13847333715915736,0.07793717309136126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1934945078248632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11075279313068356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12032278488092375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392692018304542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09778402063727787,0.21266875321411347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08082411033582981,0.07795347711358364,0.0,0.1931655842150864,0.07093970632019947,0.0,0.0,0.2324986952179326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11727388494554668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25926686856775866,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,museumgirl21,2020/03/22,"Mania versus happiness Hello I am a (25F) that received a diagnosis of mild bipolar within the last few months. I'm struggling to distinguish between experiencing mania and experiencing happiness, as for me they evoke similar responses.
I was wondering if anyone else had this problem of determining whether they are manic or just experiencing happiness and how they are able to determine the difference?",10.655454545454548,12.161637121212125,11.226818181818182,43.96022727272728,56.57575757575758,15.084848484848486,46.80303030303031,13.816669648895859,7.936830303030304,334,20,40,14,4,114,51,66,0.081,0.77,0.149,0.7073,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,3,0,2,5,0,1,4,0,5,1,0,1,0,11,7,7,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,3,6,3,8,5,1,4,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,3,2,33,8,0,0.22933689194535006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16035768719652516,0.23498274757803897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23960824021364005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19158154535311894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7324001579340077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869401761226807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830545191492029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21944443296791025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2397527138389973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24870607645789644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,livelyshoes,2020/03/22,"Does anyone else ever feel like they don’t want to get better? I am not condoning getting off of meds… I have just been going through this weird existential thing now that I’m 25 and I’m wondering if anyone has felt the same way?

I was taught during inpatient not to look at meds as a crutch, but as a tool. 

But a week ago even after taking meds religiously for two months and a half, I experience a little relapse of the weekend. I became severely depressed and didn’t want to move for two days and had the worst manic episode I had ever had in my entire life the following Sunday… I have stabilized since then but I have experienced this weird feeling where some part of me does not want to get better because the way I felt when I was manic was insane… Like I wanted to have that energy all the time. And I wanted to feel like I could do everything, as if feeling stable and normal was almost numbing to me, boring even. 

I know I was sick. I don’t want to be sick. I’m still on my meds and want to be on top of my recovery and health and understand this is a lifelong thing. 

But jfc. Anyone feel this way sometimes?",3.1345863925599597,4.647204105726875,4.5591703377386175,84.83736539402841,74.02202643171806,7.511404796867352,23.62432697014195,8.167268648758528,1.2768376896720506,880,25,179,14,18,293,119,227,0.133,0.73,0.136,-0.8519,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,3,9,11,0,0,12,0,23,5,0,0,3,44,51,20,0,11,10,0,7,3,0,0,5,0,0,0,8,9,0,0,10,1,0,3,6,6,0,3,13,9,22,5,25,35,5,27,0,1,1,0,1,8,0,5,16,126,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09120872233264887,0.0,0.10303279975962608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21583621083135904,0.10542636846137772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06272281448764518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18200156475588208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08215194565831756,0.0,0.0,0.06635768097979186,0.0,0.08862186805775718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1800852801354843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08595416812074805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13592013844716105,0.18614580224543653,0.0,0.0,0.09247388382977068,0.10064941326685199,0.0,0.0,0.2601297777404931,0.14701402057082444,0.1975874512111476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16127254301330826,0.0,0.05847664645958861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10937079050575292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056547479254965775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07267659672966467,0.15080544036461896,0.10312614037639846,0.0,0.0,0.08640447671011509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3428738575924316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08212846850782084,0.1093593183853266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10081360991060828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11142344158704508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11624016721445073,0.0,0.08511441979551057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017641271111769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08217074040917696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07736297342731567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367155031526731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05999792390396105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20102365055793486,0.10711557764328268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4248240331568549,0.2450157907728484,0.08253481702857196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11158341931688373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Jdc026,2020/03/22,"Yoga for Bipolar Disorder Soo my sister has been trying to talk me into teaching some yoga classes via zoom and it got me thinking about everyone on my feeds struggling with this quarantine. 

This whole thing is hard for neurotypicals... when you add a mood disorder with being locked your own house it is unfun to say the least. 

Soooo I’ve been thinking about developing some sequences for anxiety and just general mental well-being. I am a little nervous bc I haven’t taught in awhile but I figured if I can use my hundreds and hundreds of hours of yoga teacher trainings (+ my 6 years trying to manage my BD2) to help out some of my community in need, I will push through for y’all!

I posted on my bd2 sub which I am more active on. If anyone would be interested in some free tele-yoga hop over there (link below) and lmk your thoughts! 😘

https://www.reddit.com/r/bipolar2/comments/fn1iey/super_hypothetical_what_would_yall_think_about_a/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf",11.403428184281845,12.18987530487805,9.000813008130079,62.98700542005421,55.09756097560975,9.97181571815718,34.075880758807585,9.444778638647367,3.093279945799458,826,26,122,11,9,243,113,164,0.057999999999999996,0.843,0.099,0.9113,0,1,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,4,0,0,6,5,0,2,3,0,13,2,0,1,0,26,20,8,0,4,4,1,1,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,6,9,1,0,5,3,1,1,1,2,0,0,5,2,20,3,26,11,8,16,0,0,0,0,8,11,0,6,3,86,26,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3938945728808586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13905324702753386,0.0,0.0,0.12709753117898784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4166474204156258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17368864305557954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453777546669211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628298590593236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12183633182563695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17900644201400845,0.20973771438016064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18218089251157726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831810048620512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347798557415802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17408503173377565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445504821921923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1900250530868171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14609951975074667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12075964587453698,0.2329412412165349,0.0,0.14430475911233795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2468192544414119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15699057371700226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16343270070111235,0.0,0.0,0.20293926784014135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12912390912873106,0.0,0.0,0.11705366331491672
bipolarreddit,Scatchhates,2020/03/22,"I used to count everything as a kid! Just for some background: I was diagnosed with bipolar depression recently, and my doctor said I might’ve always had it. In my adolescent years, I was diagnosed with just depression and anxiety. Here’s what’s driving me absolutely insane: I used to count all the time as a kid. It didn’t matter what the hell is was! Cars driving by, ceiling tiles, lights, anything! I wanted to know if anyone else with bipolar disorder used to do this, and if they knew why we did it? It probably seems irrelevant and stupid now, but I still subconsciously do it. Though it’s rare, it happens! It drives me crazy! I just want to know if I’m just weird or it’s a normal thing.",3.215196078431372,5.280894441176475,4.447647058823531,83.36107843137258,75.17647058823529,8.35686274509804,26.77450980392157,9.075114841892004,2.2755215686274517,548,21,108,13,12,180,83,136,0.162,0.8190000000000001,0.019,-0.9495,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,1,0,1,0,8,5,2,0,5,0,9,5,0,3,1,30,21,12,0,6,9,0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,2,13,8,0,0,4,0,0,4,1,5,0,0,8,2,14,0,13,13,2,10,1,2,0,0,5,1,1,6,5,73,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424636631287308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13097814893333934,0.0,0.0,0.11971672523781453,0.175428852331542,0.14089443419034095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29493252649682544,0.34755696667082264,0.0,0.0,0.19622593880559944,0.17524466028546665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14302722636281726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15387599466484567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15140386790899688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18818934072597746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816308690961826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16775324943964842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18459751989974585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16905305028574585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.162863606676087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15586668525430675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367316250724871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11374689351454367,0.0,0.1682167669858293,0.0,0.09983618981054992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4436214583618687,0.0,0.0,0.20197276386820834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544938953370988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11025612471903194
bipolarreddit,tinycanofsauce,2020/03/22,"Am I at risk for lithium toxicity? (caffeine intake) I drink a small cup of coffee in the morning at breakfast, then a second one after lunch. I also eat milk chocolate through the day (usually a couple bars a day) This afternoon I decided to try out a white tea that has been there for a while, and I know tea has caffeine in it. I told myself ""well, if it's only once, I assume it won't matter"" and drank a mug of it. It was good, but that means I've consumed more caffeine than usual. Slightly, but still more. 

Am I risking lithium toxicity? I would certainly not like clogging the emergency services in times of corona. My town doesn't seem to be much affected but still.",2.7391854636591506,4.783814541353387,4.5249812030075205,82.36135651629073,76.5187969924812,6.8393483709273175,27.624686716791977,7.793537801064563,1.8288100250626569,526,22,100,8,12,178,90,133,0.115,0.845,0.040999999999999995,-0.8036,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,2,10,0,10,9,0,1,1,17,15,9,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,8,3,9,0,5,2,0,0,3,2,1,2,4,1,11,4,16,8,3,19,0,0,1,0,1,8,0,3,12,74,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17074517948807225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23624656600208535,0.0,0.2753946858127307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20916012016637475,0.0,0.218475708553441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17908343166873275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11734041224003645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10431100126578242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23257676648089534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15695562063572252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22738292582988565,0.1446810113954043,0.16238522163474506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19437297597911946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3410213392610292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12450035292809072,0.0,0.0,0.2040195196135949,0.0,0.1449603866915145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.47030580834627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19197260396307905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15167254143751527,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,foxysatan,2020/03/22,"Series of unfortunate events and coping Hi everyone, I’m Bipolar II and I’ve really been struggling this year so far. My uncle passed away last month and about two weeks ago I was told we have to put my dog down and my grandma’s health was rapidly declining. My grandma eventually passed away and a day or so after the funeral the state indefinitely closed my job. I’m stuck at home with my thoughts. I haven’t been sleeping and I’ve definitely been resorting to drinking and getting high again and I feel genuinely stuck and miserable with everything around me basically being closed. I’m currently not medicated, which is definitely hard, and I’m just reaching out to see how other Bipolar people handle hardships like death and losing a job.",5.5257707509881415,7.661004884057974,6.233162055335972,72.71875494071149,69.0,9.655862977602107,32.11067193675889,10.018931242160765,3.586730434782609,606,27,102,16,11,198,93,138,0.16399999999999998,0.769,0.067,-0.9223,3,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,1,0,0,1,7,4,0,2,4,0,9,6,1,1,0,25,20,15,2,0,3,0,2,1,0,0,4,0,1,0,3,18,1,0,2,1,0,3,2,3,0,1,9,3,11,1,14,10,0,24,0,2,1,0,3,10,0,2,11,60,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16540458138521194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16610848014967994,0.0,0.0,0.35062295924798753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12033788176667636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827913689518369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1782988423099046,0.16769891796250674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943476805564083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09748781616432546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16715183476027332,0.0,0.0,0.1983410068326126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19714711421472791,0.18716928882488384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3703320856377702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520992523723558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09116054581983576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2087512837545573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18797411845502932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14893778364530405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12936098764672346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1875788011294847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11953708146250755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486914922638907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18672904814642605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.195068867942136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14813502504770118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1782988423099046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822755100537143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14967468583242394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12016060630115308
bipolarreddit,kef1901,2020/03/22,Did you have a terrible headache and pain when you had your first episode? I felt like my brain was going to explode and had terrible pain. Also i thought i was going to loose my mind + feeling i was going to die.,1.9465909090909117,3.82615047727273,3.1818181818181834,91.8427272727273,78.31818181818181,6.218181818181819,26.90909090909091,7.1686216300943375,1.2317000000000005,167,7,36,2,4,54,29,44,0.358,0.5660000000000001,0.075,-0.9432,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,3,0,1,2,5,0,0,1,0,7,3,1,0,0,6,13,4,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,3,0,4,0,1,8,2,9,1,3,5,0,5,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,25,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21230588249766472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2963657442945124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2755284316645976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342356905925385,0.0,0.2549043807684302,0.0,0.0,0.2258188780569173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4526386649706895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12970110924562886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2680611686464437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5649831929888868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2107630762192651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,r0cafe11a,2020/03/22,"Day 4 of Nortriptyline. Horrible experience. Is this bipolar? So as said above, this is my 4th day on Pamelor.  The first 3 days were completely fine with zero side effects, and even all today, leading up until three hours ago.  I am in the US, and had a cup of coffee around 6pm, and my dose at 8pm.  Shortly after my dose, I had literal unbearable anxiety.  Thoughts racing so fast and such agitation like I just had to move.  I literally just got done walking for almost 2 hours straight with having to take 1mg Xanax an hour in, and just walk until it kicked in cause I thought I was losing my mind.  This is my thirteenth med and I’d love to say something similar hasn’t happened before with past meds, but I’d be lying.  I cannot even relate to the intensity of how bad that was now that the Xanax has kicked in, but I’m pretty sure it was a VERY dangerous state to be in.  Is this bipolar disorder rather than unipolar depression, or was drinking coffee before my dose possibly the cause.  Only 10mg also!  That was fucking horrifying beyond description.  For the first time I thought I was truly going insane.  4 hours ago I was completely fine.",2.60604301948052,4.943953102678575,4.1318019480519474,83.5745616883117,78.24107142857143,7.287012987012987,25.80681818181818,8.296473431620573,1.897980357142857,901,35,172,18,22,299,138,224,0.166,0.747,0.087,-0.9717,0,0,2,0,0,0,26.0,1,0,0,5,14,10,2,0,9,0,23,10,0,5,2,29,34,16,0,1,7,0,0,1,0,0,7,2,0,0,9,10,1,0,4,1,0,5,2,5,0,4,17,2,17,5,28,15,1,38,0,2,0,2,4,13,1,2,20,112,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2037659102703043,0.0,0.1150908141994827,0.0,0.0,0.0919134891763996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08792497112427135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10231653010411243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09596593585697584,0.0,0.0,0.19560246311209287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361398393834936,0.0,0.0,0.24101435091206025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22237072709383265,0.0,0.09899335914817246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317254835544841,0.0,0.0,0.11761842391354113,0.0,0.11259255750988567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15182698554717938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11242849799876438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19552732839929174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10625556841118927,0.0,0.0,0.06532021713852898,0.0,0.0919240302146229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10163665330754296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4527513476049575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05615144225194163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285828814356678,0.0,0.0,0.10373333750372694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2553337806348645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11605159985743188,0.0,0.0,0.12215773057347976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08741325732229548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10971847603745136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12957195898953272,0.0,0.11693022912836595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10932951817388724,0.09140093629191838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08848258899920831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10832489050143518,0.0,0.08641682669416978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27373668826737085,0.06701953095029185,0.0,0.10894495428004856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13825267027521926,0.0,0.0,0.09483342352406918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,abdurdity,2020/03/23,"lost and overwhelmed i don't know where to post this. i feel so alone during this quarantine that i'm left to my own thoughts. i live with my family but my brother and i don't get along and i'm not close to my parents. essentially, i'm 22 and im a giant failure. i'm a sophomore in university and i just came back to school from an extended leave of absence due to my bipolar disorder. i was having an okay transition to school and then one of my friends killed himself. we weren't as close the past year or so and i feel guilty for that. because i was so self-absorbed in my own shit i didn't notice how he was doing. after it happened, i was in shock and haven't been able to really process my emotions. now, i'm back home again and taking online classes since everything transitioned. my therapist is back in the city of my university, and i don't feel like getting a new one because it is exhausting getting a new therapist. i'm overwhelmed with school, coping with what happened to my friend, and my future. idk what to do. i also have severe self hate issues. i don't have a lot of friends to talk to. i do but i don't think they think very highly of me since i feel dumber than most of them. i don't know what to do. i feel so alone. i want to be successful but at this rate, i don't know. i'm a failure. my ""best friends"" people i should talk to ridicule me constantly. i was supposed to talk with a potential mentor of mine but i haven't studied anything she gave me nearly a month ago. i am behind in two classes for school. im crying in my room constantly about everything. i'm mourning. and i feel selfish for not constantly thinking of my friend but i don't know how to mourn for him without getting into my head. and i keep comparing myself to other people. most people my age are graduating college, are in serious relationships, starting careers. please give me advice. i don't know how to get out of the hole ive dug for myself with school or how to manage my emotions and mourn or how to be successful. i fucking hate being bipolar i just wish i was normal and my life wasn't complete shit. i've never had a good year since i was 16.",1.7503267389245494,3.8424871832579193,3.4491539513837743,88.6420156792592,79.88235294117645,6.374071345890773,24.758707776491647,7.485028197883463,1.2193618225823428,1693,64,351,25,43,563,193,442,0.201,0.6940000000000001,0.105,-0.9933,1,3,0,0,0,0,44.0,1,0,2,4,19,28,7,2,14,1,40,8,3,5,1,69,82,35,4,4,13,2,6,1,5,1,4,0,2,1,11,27,0,1,15,0,0,1,18,17,0,3,16,6,65,11,58,62,6,42,0,6,0,1,21,18,3,6,23,241,76,14,0.07266545622287575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07100784282260814,0.06441354255883679,0.0,0.0,0.15051899578385206,0.0,0.0581105390881275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059797478973296736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16762575139338848,0.0,0.08859237531416962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07625791320352346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08310992362055124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07618834833152603,0.2355766299020011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07981959155387269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08328090827130527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16347771549543225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13061405311491053,0.0,0.06850252506693684,0.0,0.22045102811370196,0.05191221644486712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2807057561166801,0.06717804336248666,0.1898235086017472,0.06970732695709783,0.0,0.06094833709052901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12851564591306908,0.0,0.0,0.1434841880884429,0.07457572206929836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07677504410985793,0.07288937737069695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15698232435119785,0.07584385721846082,0.0,0.06458839626692686,0.0803935610275792,0.0,0.19967517187119094,0.0,0.0,0.0769422260764299,0.0789512308024099,0.0,0.05132576070306322,0.0355006714365275,0.0,0.06416492913767184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07932292932851412,0.061777572339383816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058000873888208626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056044079522361685,0.1403615008543432,0.0,0.0,0.07119671876121045,0.0,0.08273010353314507,0.0,0.0,0.09847998746681788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08068638975853516,0.0,0.06936740023249162,0.15113123373220588,0.0,0.0,0.07976484990575435,0.0,0.0,0.0695934204741526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04655135196172246,0.0,0.0,0.07801550569553023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3677066056055394,0.0,0.0,0.1516118371751949,0.08209128213206138,0.14918009316423436,0.18032884887500425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05143298392160208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05463537975199522,0.1752172235801612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16874039072861566,0.0,0.13968327073528686,0.0,0.05768825543073833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07098359202599644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0599566115260846,0.042859968777303865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08356168850668996,0.07004690672599986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09358834275393232
bipolarreddit,soangsty,2020/03/23,"Rage Issues/Medication Hey! So I was diagnosed with bipolar around a year and a half back and was immediately put on lithium and venlafexine hydrochloride which I took everyday for 8 months alongside therapy after which I just went cold turkey on my meds. I don’t really remember what triggered my doing that but withdrawal was hard and I’d keep having brain zaps, was super confused and felt generally sick all the time for a little longer than a fortnight. Now, it’s also important to note that I used to smoke pot almost everyday up until my diagnosis which is when I was asked to quit all cannabis use for good, this is something I stuck to until after I quit my medication. I’ve been smoking on and off since. What I have noticed is that while there’s no significant change since I stopped taking medication, I have been having what some people on the Internet are calling “anger attacks” where like with very little provocation I find myself lashing out at someone, often saying terrible things I don’t mean and bringing up latent issues in the most caustic of way. I even threw my phone and shattered its screen and broke a mug during one of these episodes. Can anyone help me with navigating what this is? Should I go back on medication and start seeing my therapist again (this is something I really don’t want to do though)? Has anyone else been through something similar? 

This is really affecting my personal life, relationships, just the way people see me and while these episodes only happen once every 5/6w weeks they end up causing lifelong damage to the people around me. Any help would be appreciated!",8.130131605184449,8.564827688135594,7.937647058823532,69.0610867397807,61.94915254237289,11.008973080757727,34.980059820538386,10.718039707386858,3.908310069790629,1308,52,214,30,17,419,181,295,0.142,0.759,0.099,-0.9419,0,0,4,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,1,3,16,10,3,1,10,0,29,8,1,6,2,43,47,20,0,3,3,0,2,1,0,2,7,1,0,1,19,17,0,2,4,0,0,6,4,7,0,2,13,7,28,3,34,31,4,45,0,2,3,0,10,17,0,5,21,155,47,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10106561779972137,0.0,0.0,0.08071272787800453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06863504753229442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14114353255864828,0.10341348663520844,0.0,0.17969606693671974,0.09435480710018347,0.11482108479763152,0.0,0.1552160402096471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11266992412171326,0.10305959312469287,0.0,0.0,0.10368168354884666,0.1067692916641466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10244061125093597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08431306461487194,0.0,0.08939296284837166,0.0,0.0,0.06666252298119557,0.0,0.08503687016581547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09690747933044136,0.0,0.09224709812942436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05736016506473762,0.084654292033746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08925100781560978,0.0,0.09041238370434716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13530089930417966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10534344896728977,0.0,0.08971015815329572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07128899889356383,0.049308715391496165,0.2023143525703862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10994105555425103,0.2242182963470346,0.3050254545267199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08056040822002793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11490811199777914,0.0,0.10748588201223047,0.06839196946516139,0.07676090326245617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20991397315374133,0.08812713841126396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10146132447091223,0.0,0.21470041267693485,0.0,0.0,0.19397272829675216,0.0,0.0,0.10835976365524276,0.11433265973122733,0.0,0.0,0.08026263571134963,0.0,0.0,0.1608543785524747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16697869882924213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08551664787375922,0.23309977213882666,0.0,0.0,0.0714379267575268,0.0,0.0,0.08438099921063115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07588589966007014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11542088309728485,0.11718612021695644,0.06705261247466854,0.0,0.09916203722082527,0.0,0.058852397102680636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11213561459590818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17434016182125367,0.0,0.08327683319635215,0.059530423414865065,0.16022517310290904,0.08095899842030906,0.0,0.0,0.0935620122197728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07169692638067549,0.0,0.0,0.06499484052106186
bipolarreddit,Lord-Marble,2020/03/23,"Please help, how do I deal with my dad? I couldn’t flair this with everything, so CW for suicide. 

I don’t know where else to go with this. 


My dad has BPD and he’s an alcoholic. A year ago his doctor lost his medical license and can’t prescribe my dad medication for his BPD anymore. Since then my dad has *refused* to see another doctor. 


He thinks he doesn’t need therapy/help. Even sitting him down and calmly explaining to him that he needs help for his issues doesn’t help. He said, “I don’t listen to you because I’m three steps ahead of you.” 


My dad consistently threatens me and my siblings. He’s called me a whore for having a boyfriend (I dress modestly and I’ve never done anything sexual with him). He’s threatened to kill us and kill himself. He’s told my brother to kill himself. He said that he threatens and calls us names because he, “wants to prepare us for the real world.” He’s told us there are security cams all over the house and he’s watching every one of our moves (there aren’t any). He’s lied about all his promises to us. He’s said, “Lord-Marble, when you get married, your husband will scream at you too. That’s why I scream at you.” My mom sat him down and explained why that’s wrong. My dad doesn’t believe her. He doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with his mentality because he’s never gotten physical with us. 


It doesn’t matter what we do. Even agreeing with him still makes him angry. We never know what he wants from us. (Ex. He’ll scream at us for making a mess, tell us to clean, and then scream at us for cleaning. Or sometimes he’ll make a mess and make us clean it). He’ll scream at us for not doing things *his* way, and even if we do it *his* way he yells at us for copying him. 


I don’t feel safe at home. I never have. I can’t get any comfort from my mom because she’s a nurse and has to quarantine herself. She also doesn’t give a shit anymore and lets us deal with dad. Time after time we’ve tried coming to an understanding, making a change and sticking with it, but dad loops back to his ways because “it’s the right way” and “he can’t help it.” He’s never apologized for his behavior of shown any signs of guilt. 


Last night I broke down crying from anxiety because of his screaming and he made fun of me for that. He said I look stupid and I should man up. I’m not a man. 


It’s worse now because of quarantine. I can’t go anywhere safe. Please help.",1.4910378787878784,3.5072614080808115,2.758743686868687,93.65144886363638,80.37373737373737,5.660353535353536,22.029671717171716,6.7232907121075245,0.3833914141414145,1867,58,413,19,48,601,207,495,0.135,0.7759999999999999,0.08900000000000001,-0.965,1,2,1,0,0,1,66.0,18,6,0,2,16,26,5,1,14,0,29,7,1,7,7,71,70,27,4,7,5,13,1,0,0,5,5,12,4,2,17,31,1,4,8,0,0,5,22,19,0,2,11,16,74,7,57,52,2,44,0,2,3,1,112,15,1,2,19,240,91,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040212239318612966,0.04848006726292979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03627738534347729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09254674446737893,0.0475678614504544,0.03470315497073214,0.0,0.08997732772403047,0.0,0.0,0.07466102436230793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03488193405310815,0.0,0.19357330457943625,0.0,0.0,0.051109427138179626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11426814438415285,0.0,0.0926429491709778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047988846844636286,0.039076865539908315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04982996417168692,0.0,0.09353609666452577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928634684977114,0.0,0.046422880102125384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037895603518026316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0898870140213516,0.0,0.03822092733715204,0.0,0.04077002563112605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02293728189338736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047401388297933666,0.043517055614496224,0.05156254449890852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18243824699354572,0.0,0.045503553603465856,0.0,0.0,0.05234369251298855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0473479832991588,0.0,0.0,0.15056484959340413,0.0,0.04986147619460789,0.036977521936560516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04638752174704363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038094136249323805,0.0,0.04951990669816121,0.0,0.0,0.04292428994697863,0.15140332221700428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09139843858877232,0.04571600401509116,0.0,0.0,0.10625898326749604,0.0,0.048214501531911015,0.0,0.06727331178116011,0.1749366552915517,0.0,0.0,0.04257081909189374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030739660223565887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09959157985119707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05163389434298088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038740406231820616,0.1726053094382669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03614904630502475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04656525141753904,0.03752537400753392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044865922126611946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03622756019178066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04962059451705618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03964992885558125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03013766880369925,0.05813453598398492,0.0,0.0,0.05290395069556599,0.0,0.0,0.08669404023942638,0.0,0.030799017713498106,0.0,0.0,0.047225277723261135,0.7639383092723784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053513446185231725,0.1440305760738288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08186748149333031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04622955062025247,0.0,0.09919630829824508,0.0,0.029212776434520218
bipolarreddit,brittz_,2020/03/23,"Repost: Advice? I'm losing cognitive functioning and memory because of Lamictal Lamictal is killing my cognitive ability. I've seen this topic mentioned a lot here but I'm hoping to hear about anyone else's experience with what I can do to fix this. I want to lower my lamictal so I can get my brain functioning back. 

I'm afraid I'm going to fail out of grad school because my thought processing is so slow and my memory is disappearing. I've lost all motivation to even write a simple paragraph because it's literally that hard to think. I used to be able to write a perfect paper in like 5 hours, now I'll spend 2-3 days on it and it's barely meeting the grading rubric. I'll spend hours rewriting the same sentences because I'm constantly unable to remember the right word for some part of the sentence and get completely hung up on not being able to remember it. So then I'm stuck, and I'll spend hours rewriting the sentence so that it makes sense in some way without the word I can't remember but the more I rewrite it, the more stuck I feel. Writing this right now has already taken forever, I feel like I'm rambling and not even saying what I'm trying to say. It's so bad, sorry if I'm rambling, I literally feel like I'm getting dumber each day. 

For context, I'm on 200mg Lamictal, 300 mg Wellbutrin, and Adderall 30mg XR in the morning and 20mg IR around mid-day to keep me going. I have too many diagnoses lol, I'm a female, 21 years old diagnosed with bipolar 2, adhd, social anxiety, PTSD, and insomnia (not going to sleep but waking up too many times and not getting enough REM).  

I've been able to function through school despite my mood swings and adhd because of adderall but it might as well be a sugar pill now that I'm on lamictal. My mood is the most stable it's ever been, and I think the biggest influence has been starting wellbutrin a month ago, so making changes to my meds or doses scares me because I don't want to lose mood stability. But I'm falling behind in classes and I really need to get my cognitive ability back as soon as possible. I don't see any other option than decreasing lamictal if I want to make it through my masters degree. 

I want to decrease from 200mg lamictal to 100mg tonight, or should I taper slower? Have any of you been able to get back your cognitive ability or memory by lowing your lamictal dose? Or will I have to look at stopping lamictal all together? I'm really hoping I can lower it to the point where I can function but still be stable enough to get through school. I'm hoping any of you can share your experience about getting back cognitive ability, if even possible, I hope this isn't permanent brain damage or something because then I'm just S.O.L. 

Just looked at the time. This should have taken me 20 minutes to write and it's been an hour and a half. I'm hopeless at this point.",5.2879447373559865,5.815644581722318,6.397365260691267,77.34807288615507,68.03339191564147,9.766861941027145,32.85300722515134,9.793970653908694,3.1681634055848478,2273,97,431,49,36,763,244,569,0.08800000000000001,0.78,0.132,0.9735,3,0,1,0,0,1,52.0,0,5,0,7,29,24,1,2,21,1,33,12,4,6,4,86,93,40,1,14,21,0,4,3,0,4,7,3,0,0,24,20,1,2,10,0,3,5,9,11,1,1,12,12,39,10,63,73,13,57,0,7,4,0,16,22,0,18,32,255,63,9,0.2613075063564081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15702042144802708,0.06383666773801337,0.05790833449805419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07208983277176709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13327354870392175,0.0,0.04997488178313878,0.0,0.0,0.04567807103663693,0.06693510503864625,0.0,0.05815477026642416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2009293428383115,0.05454521324644213,0.2787586033859893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14585279833734094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06910717339655342,0.0,0.0684939872078346,0.07059514579473522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126391293126933,0.0,0.0,0.13261080923597862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054572222828479885,0.0,0.0,0.13500025298279913,0.0,0.12944335762396572,0.059091899909109985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278044410979195,0.0,0.0,0.09909369496940408,0.09333906737636326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2730447740032573,0.0,0.11138030827214536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058520049917594276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07362813772869142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2595373142945902,0.2573352573722785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05806552950106239,0.07227450996383858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09574623634032324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10971624668110544,0.1461681298706506,0.07131200276285596,0.05553857436484054,0.0,0.0,0.13081859218420733,0.13246239880525412,0.0,0.0,0.07256343300035968,0.0,0.0,0.06930149254033327,0.0,0.0,0.05214328963866408,0.0,0.0,0.048439051236971516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06854956781679727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07074264128834684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12351002777852885,0.14729247562127684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.076363622858761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08370013986651183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22200784938582616,0.11157759133420732,0.0,0.10390110858497424,0.06540359983145444,0.19834286023098235,0.05205706274229016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06537405487810304,0.06659252387503256,0.0,0.05029182118071622,0.0,0.07312808995133878,0.046238699485354966,0.0,0.052170128030223514,0.05461619397238823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08371764946926326,0.0,0.05186224292882166,0.07618525416786145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04435266103519903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05642144667805436,0.0,0.0,0.15412593749304826,0.05185343392061563,0.0,0.0,0.05873670749608562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06297277783686693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042068366697600314
bipolarreddit,Poopayaaa,2020/03/23,"How do you know if you’re going crazy when reality is also crazy? I know I’ve kinda been having an upswing lately but I also was keeping track of the outbreak pretty early. I told my friends and family to grab a few weeks of stuff ‘just incase’ early feb and I got the feeling they just thought I was having an episode but my family placated me. Now they’re taking me seriously while I think I might be slipping into delusional thinking.. 

I just have no idea what to do. I asked someone I just started dating if they were taking drugs and I might’ve fucked it up. I noticed that their eyes are super glassy and they act really different sometimes after going to the bathroom. I’m so used to not believing myself and I honestly have no idea if I’m paranoid but it seems so obvious

Idk maybe this is just a rant but I feel really lost right now",1.6901494861413866,4.183467301775149,3.658829025225789,84.67311429461229,83.08284023668641,6.398131423232639,22.504204297726563,7.669130373188453,1.3133242603550292,670,23,126,12,19,226,104,169,0.157,0.735,0.109,-0.6815,1,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,4,2,13,6,1,0,7,0,15,3,1,2,1,35,37,19,0,3,13,0,3,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,6,6,0,1,10,0,0,3,3,3,0,0,8,4,24,3,9,27,1,17,0,1,1,1,8,3,1,6,11,91,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2357063881797337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377727613332252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1660375790401555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1539721891694655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1709045279199218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2778580790694854,0.0,0.14903124408117865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11385910534263445,0.13624287620133566,0.0,0.0,0.16750960707508314,0.0,0.11786671000613523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3327297013713562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309908481429757,0.0,0.0,0.16198340029009198,0.0,0.16624183608690826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16087375427291709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14805480492675938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3126764317293022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16778379794378015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1499301257293182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888203277402211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258547321294189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13416177330788095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12486766789761135,0.0,0.1457545018293101,0.0,0.10431053526350778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687054796234338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22161054139664688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888598279003809,0.0,0.11699676634687535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408200929316547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12728193848084682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182127875614777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,yehovyan,2020/03/23,"Does this sound like mania/hypomania? or Borderline personality? I know I should not consult here, and rather talk with my psychiatrist but I feel like I am about to get misdiagnosed. I feel like she suspects borderline; while I personally do not believe so. I think I went through an anxiety-induced hypomania instead. 

I will try to keep it short. I met this dude two years ago. I fell in love in a short period. It was so great that I started to cry almost everyday, abandonment anxiety plus love. I immediately started to sleep less than ever, and even though I am kinda used to it, I was not feeling tired at all. 

I dropped every course I was enrolled at and I couldn’t care less. I used to be the top student in the department, and suddenly was about to fail the whole semester. I was so happy that there were no reason to care.

I did things that I would never do. I started to drink alcohol almost on a daily basis, mixed it with illegal stuff (normally I am very concerned about my health so I do not even combine painkillers) and started to snort Xanax. Just for fun. Woah.

Then I literally went crazy. Lots of fights. After he decided to broke up, I went back home, slept and realized I need to do something so I can kill this very irritation that I feel at the core of my soul. I have booked a couple of overseas plain tickets, again just for fun.

Then two days later, I woke up and everything went back to normal. I cancelled flight reservations, was able to study and sleep again. 

_____


I am aware of that this sounds like some hardcore borderline stuff, but the thing is that this was temporary and didn’t last more than 2-3 weeks in total. Abandonment issues were so bad and yes, they’re somehow unique to BPD but... I don’t self-harm, have never been impulsive and still am not except this episode, very stable interpersonal relationships with friends and family... 

I feel like I temporarily acted in a way that I manifested BPD-like symptoms in a hypomanic episode, but I don’t think I’m a person with BPD. 

Does this sound relatable to you?",3.610062111801241,5.837059337595909,4.6108469126781175,81.9026496163683,74.54987212276215,8.253737668980637,27.02820606503471,9.002800196639251,2.2796147753014258,1615,62,311,37,35,525,206,391,0.142,0.687,0.171,0.9368,0,0,4,0,1,0,56.0,0,1,0,2,25,21,2,0,12,1,32,11,3,3,5,65,61,28,1,7,14,0,5,5,1,3,5,3,1,3,22,17,2,3,12,3,0,7,12,7,0,2,19,9,44,14,47,37,8,49,1,4,0,2,14,15,0,7,30,217,66,4,0.08205184932766632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07273401370368131,0.08768847337047414,0.16432614947315766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06276944014987698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261856147491558,0.06850986688056533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09244433627288677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31002429560112404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16731465771730394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09078881062994616,0.09013010362842028,0.052916654836212135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14360825256859186,0.0,0.0,0.08037957487582764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10838894526300467,0.0742205952739012,0.06913222192580226,0.0,0.07374291144191976,0.0,0.0773511811185398,0.0,0.20743940201144487,0.1758535726632586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0633930552521424,0.0,0.042868704708513936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09046245355222654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08734571935723938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08721727891785569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08230469497451605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08564081295837357,0.0,0.07293145373717654,0.09077821428819237,0.0,0.04509355054924458,0.06688320851649446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24051833389499336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0697575480964829,0.14810999507260034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06084040660125688,0.1265668890751123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16078678216789385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2149335298366564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08436296682504882,0.0,0.08809297913051768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08559797369216501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16422221238391624,0.0,0.0,0.06316752230310156,0.0,0.0,0.2323068850906921,0.0,0.06552671286376899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18785947349443788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08528328854343561,0.0,0.0659501684207662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090232055169654,0.10515102388140668,0.08061552536443843,0.0,0.0,0.0943065304875085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05570781966864019,0.0,0.16030546838623008,0.0,0.0,0.14173290637467814,0.0,0.20310410658043854,0.0,0.0651289387970866,0.0658170442393987,0.0,0.0,0.3042515454761941,0.0,0.09160795953387044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0582872795798085,0.0,0.0,0.05283870079146492
bipolarreddit,Rocklobster111213,2020/03/23,"Advice needed for a family member Would love if someone could give some advice about the right course of action my family should take. 

My younger brother has gone through what seemed like depressive periods for several years without anything (seemingly) severe or requiring medical help (though perhaps that wasn't the case). 

He's now 19. 2-3 weeks ago his personality, mood, and even voice seemed to change rapidly. He sent a cruel and lengthy text highlighting long-past imagined or real transgressions to his closest friend. He essentially told him that he never wanted to see him again, then bragged about it and shared his message with said friend's other friends. He started to complain and speak *much* more openly about elements of family members, strangers, and friends that disgusted him.

He's also become absorbed with new projects and tasks that keep him busy all hours of the day. He would say nothing and disappear for a day or more. His filter started to disappear and he would say things to my mother to intentionally try to scare her. While I would never try to diagnose him myself, he and I have an older brother who has bipolar II and recognized warning signs of what he believed to be emerging hypomania. 

My younger brother now sleeps *very* little, and speaks quickly and with a pressured tone. He has isolated many of his old friends and has choice insults to explain why he despises them. He complained (before he stopped communicating openly with his family) of racing thoughts and an inability to sleep. 

While I finish grad school, he and I have been sharing a room at my parents. A few days ago he exploded on me for being a messy person and spent hours saying the most hurtful things, panting from seeming exertion, muttering to himself, and laughing with the most bizarre cadence. The next morning he acted as though nothing had happened. 

He seems to have a largely newfound utter confidence in his abilities and self, never apologizing or even showing the slightest doubt that his speech or behavior was entirely appropriate.
He also doesn't allow others to talk to him if they don't agree with him; he cuts them off and berates them. All of this is a complete change from the personality he had for the first 18 years of his life. 

Another family member visited and saw what was happening. He discovered our brother had taken his gun and deposited it in his car trunk. Out of concern, he took the gun. Said younger brother became enraged when he discovered this and started to threaten this family member with legal action, etc. We also found he has plans to buy a pistol from a local person he found online. He tries to start a verbal altercation with *everyone*.



At this point I'm concerned for my family, my brother seems to be intermittently entirely in control of himself, but he has progressively isolated everyone who cares about him. 

If he keeps escalating it won't be long before he's kicked out with no money, job, or connections. 

My parents are afraid of him and ask me if he's a danger to them or their young children and I have no idea. I've worked at a psych hospital and abhor the idea of him being committed were things to devolve further. I'm also worried he'll refuse to see a professional, crash, and get errantly prescribed an SSRI, making things worse. 

Does anyone have advice I can give to my parents. He may be delusional, but I don't believe he's at all psychotic. And while he may be verbally abusive, he hasn't physically harmed anyone. Is there a modus operandi in situations like this where it will be difficult to get a diagnosis or treatment in the foreseeable future? He is tearing our family apart, but we aren't about to push him out onto the street due to a possible emerging mental illness.

Thank you!",7.568390155476536,8.430181894582727,7.458731436937878,70.55142142508542,63.14348462664715,10.487192358641847,36.90612145297358,10.398101306919678,4.1068601687234185,3026,141,489,68,42,967,340,683,0.121,0.813,0.066,-0.9889,4,0,0,3,0,0,76.0,4,1,6,6,21,31,7,4,34,0,47,8,2,4,7,104,91,54,0,12,16,10,0,2,5,10,5,9,1,6,25,43,0,6,13,1,4,11,13,17,0,1,20,12,55,13,80,52,11,76,0,2,3,1,121,27,0,24,40,319,80,9,0.0,0.06724896353845237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1663898184329276,0.10062510679523687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815574479956754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05951572480890757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07937304389951766,0.0,0.04670700809754203,0.0,0.05306107981236365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06268476542969342,0.096593776230558,0.12789368737398865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05786857635068229,0.0,0.1200849025208764,0.0,0.0595096961202669,0.0,0.0636589371225673,0.04531665444865916,0.0,0.0,0.10981266754713066,0.0,0.048885592899666624,0.05760818782493871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049669319124418514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06330018711330221,0.07497626376667918,0.0,0.0,0.10846942629187237,0.0,0.0,0.4280512219496465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048278336340623416,0.0,0.12446446199942635,0.21925549787514076,0.0,0.05930743774214897,0.10889491465341218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003818458133174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03804369929473203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11179041833838006,0.0,0.0607606261562661,0.12814577474939368,0.0,0.0,0.056323569388047036,0.10089825856350107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04008986268202056,0.055458195787636014,0.056886439275562174,0.0,0.10045810978210748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051226322159050944,0.0,0.03788641400079385,0.057543716037023275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05717772623306833,0.05719872685802839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041723669764260944,0.04208534700599955,0.13132583451749766,0.054817242043887486,0.06036279007804245,0.0,0.0,0.10892168731270764,0.0,0.059557986273671336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18906916768997514,0.0,0.054181945125333135,0.0,0.19823562862718005,0.0,0.0,0.0536546675155834,0.06398613091706094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06460304400545433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048471032457068734,0.10797973446613816,0.13540874864728464,0.0568246719136274,0.05744213870021874,0.09045757477389214,0.3100221767656892,0.05921098538106687,0.12824079694035334,0.0,0.0,0.06379838398927658,0.11359800468735352,0.0,0.048090879707882034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16069445319457593,0.0,0.0,0.04745223981019179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04267496169241993,0.04561994040050877,0.0,0.052255152125502684,0.0,0.0,0.15083000565591573,0.0,0.11152891798600374,0.045059521902918426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054234713145936184,0.06306024015887543,0.11560489414878115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046831304398310236,0.03347734625461191,0.0,0.04552785394545826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05121527803420765,0.0,0.0,0.05471269852563609,0.0,0.0413205090016181,0.0576405166773911,0.057841263593911785,0.16127705412812124,0.0,0.0,0.07310059818400506
bipolarreddit,lucidaliens,2020/03/24,Will I get through this? My mental health is deteriorating trying to survive this pandemic. I’m a childcare worker and was laid off due to my center closing because of Covid-19. I am unable to apply for unemployment because I don’t have enough hours worked last year as I was a full time student and working little hours to get by. Only a couple months ago I moved out to an apartment with my boyfriend. I feel like this sense of dread over bills and sadness for people worse off than me is never going to end. I’m trying to keep a normal routine of getting up and showering but I’ve been sleeping in until the late afternoon/early evening. How is everyone else coping during these difficult times? Do you have any advice of how to keep my mental health stable? Will we get through this?,4.543852097130241,6.418657066225165,5.102930463576161,80.88940673289186,71.05298013245033,6.887637969094922,28.47737306843267,7.492282038375204,1.7836353200883002,631,24,111,7,12,202,102,151,0.083,0.885,0.031,-0.7657,3,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,1,1,0,4,3,4,0,1,6,0,13,3,1,2,1,16,23,9,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,2,2,0,1,0,5,8,0,2,1,0,1,2,2,3,0,0,3,1,13,1,27,18,2,26,0,1,0,0,2,11,0,0,14,75,18,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14529953020884054,0.1318059681980123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10111526129683232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18128181341027427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16452422294990685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12421259787513238,0.0,0.1316964600666746,0.15363797979695254,0.0,0.09820927750910448,0.0,0.0,0.14208101941572215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751828472877232,0.10622517684958158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31074051007386577,0.0,0.08450475794922918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3161040428264505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29286218506748424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2643275238756846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12120334910460065,0.16773039307844292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07264311485580753,0.14902786083617506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29969194819569417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186840691487067,0.1580354430213631,0.0,0.0,0.11467998606758628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14568601688490013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11308652167993415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10308390542169044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14879879853094194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17340632009273288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20190342134944653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21649824258972145,0.0,0.15152925532403727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957523964581047
bipolarreddit,versaceversacegucc,2020/03/24,"Help with my Boyfriend Hi everyone,

My boyfriend has bipolar disorder. He seems to be in a depressed phase more than manic but can change multiple times in a couple of weeks. He has tried to kill himself a couple of times this year and I am trying to do my best to support him, but I would love to know what you all would suggest to help him and cheer him up when he gets in a depressed cycle. Often times, his racing thoughts put him in a depressed mood or something annoys him and he remains depressed for the rest of the day. He also struggles with low self-value and has told me that he often feels that life has no value. I want to help him see his own self-worth, but it is hard for me to know how to do that without understanding where his mind is.

I would love to hear your suggestions on how I can best support him and get him to a better space. Thank you all in advance.",5.675865921787711,5.211622759776539,5.696027932960894,86.10672346368717,67.2122905027933,8.277318435754191,30.19050279329609,7.1686216300943375,1.5670420111731842,690,22,147,5,10,217,99,179,0.162,0.602,0.23600000000000002,0.9659,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,3,0,4,7,18,2,1,8,0,15,4,0,2,2,29,32,13,1,4,5,0,2,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,6,7,0,0,6,0,0,2,2,8,0,0,2,4,25,9,27,26,7,19,0,5,1,2,31,10,0,4,7,105,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09561833332843588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2509580767291553,0.1057480101203796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264868873595028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2645990119710966,0.0,0.07711134494066665,0.0,0.4119343133265352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13703506750994005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11425216507083208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06045707663230347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249384900148924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10710927098298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13476161020128508,0.0,0.24043134514407466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322840647569481,0.0,0.13142268126225692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08445427924525514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21582923097754256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12072940172219515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201986724803549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09528006294754657,0.10885004228485316,0.2494706022528739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09204914060494282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249982344897548,0.0,0.0,0.2713682644839837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11008197370528043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09492348416432553,0.20916285217793285,0.0,0.0,0.11425216507083208,0.0,0.16235738678709197,0.0,0.0,0.1244743055244098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07052419139976443,0.0,0.09591008382952962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11525910069075453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548126219567409,0.0,0.0,0.07699774854549336
bipolarreddit,RicardoFuerai,2020/03/24,"[Serious] I found a philosophical novel whose main character experiences and narrates rapid cycling and how these oscillations between mania-depression actually give him deep insights (PDF) **Title**: Incessance  
**Genre**: Existentialism and Phenomenology  
**Download link**: [https://www.academia.edu/39954020/Incessance\_Incesancia\_](https://www.academia.edu/39954020/Incessance_Incesancia_)

**Synopsis**: A young man undergoes severe depression and desperation due to recurrent family/friend deaths. He sets out to solve the philosophical question of death. Does he succeed? I am still reading! But the narration is intriguingly visceral and dynamical. I recommend.",13.889615384615386,17.158967000000004,9.882628205128203,29.99778846153845,109.76923076923076,13.094871794871795,41.71153846153846,8.72156446121922,8.559938461538461,558,30,43,23,24,160,66,78,0.154,0.7090000000000001,0.13699999999999998,-0.5411,1,0,0,0,0,0,52.0,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,4,0,2,0,0,1,0,12,4,7,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,6,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,4,2,5,3,1,6,0,1,0,0,7,2,0,1,3,26,6,2,0.0,0.0,0.2756706732792149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4866185342928914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2472099634881921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2763306113646513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3097370333322027,0.2182520098112316,0.0,0.0,0.2709913116393557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3164548088371761,0.0,0.28256765835369885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3191346618816023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255978469874702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,beencryin,2020/03/24,"Lithium! Anyone else experience blurred vision? I am on 1500mg - I take it at night in order to avoid the vision issues during the day. 

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Just curious?",2.5790000000000006,5.1330595666666685,3.666666666666668,77.68000000000005,103.33333333333334,4.666666666666667,25.0,6.42735559955562,1.7740000000000005,137,6,19,2,6,44,26,30,0.068,0.715,0.21600000000000005,0.5792,0,1,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,4,2,0,6,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,2,11,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4553025886202569,0.5106070086337865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14691198847906006,0.2152798740646267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13550189969583995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17551778324929487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.205525366461848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21929755165503192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1971715741263144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15797462645978289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5106070086337865,0.0
bipolarreddit,anastasiaaleexev,2020/03/24,Anyone else clings to fantasy to cope with depressive episodes? I realized that I often become obsessed with things like anime and fantasy movies (e.g. Lord of the Rings) during depressive episodes to escape reality. Then I realize that I am stuck in this world and can never be a part of the fantasy world and that somewhat worsens the depression. Does anyone else here go through this too?,7.108695652173914,9.068418710144927,6.722434782608698,71.44539130434784,64.79710144927536,10.73739130434783,35.53913043478261,10.793553405168565,4.453664347826087,317,15,49,9,5,99,48,69,0.205,0.74,0.055,-0.8835,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,1,4,0,3,0,0,0,1,10,5,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,6,5,0,0,2,3,0,1,1,4,0,0,1,1,4,1,9,3,2,6,1,3,0,0,0,3,0,2,3,36,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30978041924766303,0.4539417806112514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2446487114672673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5723781797810579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1938514859224372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3700989486514021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12589351888642958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10822227734872886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17084797758451953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23988190153010236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14716640590969227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,CxrdiThomas,2020/03/24,"I'm exhibiting symptoms of hypomania and I feel so helpless I don't know if it's even appropriate or allowed or moral to even for me to talk here but I'm desperate for help or advice or something so i will

I'm not diagnosed with bipolar, but I noticed that I have the symptoms (also family history) so I referred myself to therapy but I'm on a 9 month waiting list. I feel like I can't express my experience atm bc I don't want to seem like I'm self diagnosing, but it's not even making sense idk. I've been exhibiting symptoms of hypomania for over a week and it just won't end and I don't know how keep myself safe and happy and healthy because I have no support or medication. I don't know. I won't get any help for nine months, maybe even more, and I don't think I can handle going from being depressed as fuck to this constantly bc I'm always stressed and I keep not sleeping because of it.

I'm not saying I ha e bipolar, that's completely insensitive and I don't want to make anyone's experience worse idk how to explain myself but I just want some way to control it/vent. It's so confusing not properly knowing what's wrong. My friends notice when im like this. It's scary. I'm really scared.

I only figured this out bc I did research on bipolar bc I witnessed my friends mum having an episode and wanted to educate myself, but it made sense but I don't know. 

I'm only posting bc I want some advice on what to do from here. Do I wait? What do I do. I don't know how long I'll last because my mood is so unstable recently. One week I'll be stabkr then ill be so depressed that u can't even track the days then I'll be bouncing off the fucking walls for ages and everyone thinks I'm on drugs. And this is all happening while the covid19 outbreak, which stresses me out more which make it so much worse. 

If I can't post here I'll delete this post, just let me know. I don't wanna be insensitive. I'm just experiencing hypomanic symptoms and have been for a week and if anyone here has any advice on what to do id really appreciate it or even if you wanna call me a bitch for posting here I'd be fine with that idek at this point. Sorry I don't know who to go to. I can delete this post if its not allowed. I'm 18 BTW",1.18097138139791,3.1230004873417734,3.514771601541004,88.21659328563568,81.0464135021097,6.653384700055036,24.439368923133372,7.7425588080867325,1.2498700788846082,1757,67,385,30,46,606,196,474,0.174,0.728,0.098,-0.9864,2,0,2,0,0,0,33.0,0,1,0,1,27,22,3,4,9,1,40,15,1,10,1,87,86,47,0,12,28,1,2,3,2,3,12,1,0,1,28,17,0,6,16,0,1,2,22,11,0,2,4,4,44,10,40,72,6,36,1,3,0,2,13,12,3,15,19,237,72,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21144234356781785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05767920876702042,0.060014685459480174,0.0,0.0,0.09809643012768048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008644794272104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13190218653356692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07364880290340534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07562283396414736,0.07794268090877599,0.08089554385599527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04651536173362405,0.0,0.12424419266464268,0.14641292787166788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08364336682810204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06388230830491917,0.0,0.0,0.2858316164791533,0.0,0.0,0.06891957067029125,0.0,0.14110631345933827,0.06799405936351327,0.0,0.07293823732611228,0.051526893690339116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114488776956898,0.1333588174698751,0.037682905556680434,0.0,0.08198183911415954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0637808639084099,0.07677956485271338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09668919664228214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07790855498047508,0.0,0.0,0.12821796702169128,0.0,0.0,0.3171089060174189,0.05879239055604753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07375381455139803,0.0,0.1057114942292054,0.0,0.0,0.06382932069633906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06824745106590363,0.14443417706362158,0.0,0.07246035263006326,0.0,0.0,0.07265944844739708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11514071513238165,0.0,0.053020975684045714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642320648847813,0.0,0.0,0.048874505774742234,0.10971028438321023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06818246903382602,0.0,0.3453842875431005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09241164134152094,0.0,0.07121581332425134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05735756234609745,0.07221079940497131,0.0,0.0,0.06566088421225308,0.07524324283687661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.072178179416081,0.0,0.0,0.055526188472042486,0.0,0.08073925361834923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16524038668193428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08184783312501474,0.0,0.2998664997785341,0.0,0.05797221971004245,0.0,0.0,0.08248247069910263,0.0,0.0,0.09243097334182676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21270918542891,0.057250333696460126,0.1735655984213031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470052968914154,0.0,0.07885855776374111,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ParalyzedMind13,2020/03/24,"Just venting, I can’t speak out my frustrations in real life, too apathetic I barely say anything throughout the day to my family because of the fear that anything I say will negatively impact them and their healthy minds with my unstable one.  

But when I do attempt to be a part of their day I pretty much just go on and on about how insanely unhealthy my mental state is. When they say it’s going to be alright I get angry like “yeah you’re just saying that because that’s what you’re suppose to say” like I’m such a fucking parasite it’s like I actually want them to say “yeah your too sick in the head nothing can help you.” It’s this BITTERNESS that’s eating me alive right now, I’m so unwell my brain feels like it’s replaced with a rock and I’m not just saying that it’s heavy and congested with so many cognitive impairments I feel fucked if I ever had to be independent at any given moment. 

This isn’t living, I’ve given up but I still have to continue and continue day after day just a worthless existence going nowhere it’s so gut wrenching, it makes me hysterical sometimes like wow there is nothing going on for me.",2.7110174113698338,4.8519386123348065,4.3243926998112014,83.3117914831131,76.97356828193833,7.319404237465912,26.228026012166985,8.269060116576782,1.8747312355779315,903,35,174,17,21,302,128,227,0.115,0.765,0.12,0.0645,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,5,1,19,13,4,1,7,3,12,9,3,3,1,27,28,14,0,2,9,0,2,5,0,1,3,8,0,0,15,9,1,0,2,1,0,4,4,6,0,1,3,11,25,7,23,21,2,27,0,1,0,2,16,9,2,1,18,113,40,0,0.0,0.0,0.10773442578399753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07507575175346712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18169950427569934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13459756960974656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12324285561926165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2847953382760969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11296671019443273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09986307526198232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10407524748538638,0.12423063672648425,0.111643063701775,0.07886974631570441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20412594956764127,0.05767941726809873,0.0,0.2509713429374051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11330219905294772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07399875933211783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07797874957641886,0.2696791951861404,0.0,0.09748517844211038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07369282387293855,0.11192822130967292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11125718322184527,0.0,0.1114724779790818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08115666600713138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2118634589937823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07480986327111118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11955238741816925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11231643861535306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256593126879173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09428095405713004,0.0,0.6145612994055675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10918837343722623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08816554265344033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06511675085487906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lisalisaandtheoccult,2020/03/25,"Eating habits? Hi guys. Hope everyone is safe. I have followed for a while and this is my first post here! ...Something I’ve been struggling with for a while, and haven’t really discussed it with anyone, for different reasons. What are your eating habits like? Does anyone else go from having no appetite for hours/days to being ravenous? If yes, does anyone know why? I can barely eat sometimes and other times I can’t stop. I’ll wake up at 3 am to eat. Other times I can’t even imagine swallowing one bite of food. 

I don’t do this on purpose and can’t control it. People often will mention to me my eating habits/weight, and it makes me visibly uncomfortable and I feel vulnerable. Is this an eating disorder secondary to Bipolar Disorder? 

I understand how important nutrition is for my plan to deal with Bipolar (and I believe at this point in my life my plan is pretty good), and I try to get better at having a proper diet, but I just can’t seem to stick to a routine.  

Thanks for reading/any thoughts/advice you have about it!",2.4780547619047617,4.9941259150000015,3.7592857142857135,85.07333333333334,79.85,6.4095238095238125,24.523809523809533,7.62386473244151,1.4681309523809527,813,30,150,13,21,265,121,200,0.064,0.8390000000000001,0.09699999999999999,0.8071,2,0,1,0,0,0,31.0,0,2,0,5,6,7,0,1,5,1,22,13,1,4,0,27,32,13,0,2,3,0,1,1,0,1,3,0,0,1,11,11,9,3,6,0,0,2,7,1,0,2,1,1,19,6,26,29,0,16,0,0,0,0,7,7,0,4,7,103,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106943702878535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07442309307587784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22956941034523076,0.1121344242900371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12330163556321368,0.0,0.0967909688137618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12274649713516238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07057987923217578,0.11282804708174295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11434172231126173,0.2508559155041761,0.0,0.19154372388820773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6719079162777257,0.0914232492137877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.072284224035366,0.0,0.0,0.10457480697449532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0553362565614912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093089783480283,0.13233553173941526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057177990757952865,0.0,0.06219739123007172,0.09179325259934604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10836301029586136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10869881844288988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060145475215067835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07730085416558452,0.053466956707600516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07305218745101273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07415951605123262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0758720591672327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10345636905324512,0.0,0.10481346546580476,0.11134003416270168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07011019846392931,0.1125227592070939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996302534314965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08425241749215255,0.1082391623037876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09149691278546193,0.0,0.11441066552931288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10075783810717533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12763092865202555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07430271616129808,0.0,0.0,0.11393111426316985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13326868777997064,0.0,0.0,0.0987527637541066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sadsadsadsadsadsad1,2020/03/25,"Exhausted Is anyone else sick and tired of being bipolar? I hate it, I hate every second of it. I hate that no matter how hard I try, or how well the meds are working, I find a way to let it infect me. I’m tired of unintentionally hurting those around me. I’m sick of always being on my toes because the second I think I have control is the second I fall right back into it.  I hate spending everyday with vague memories of dumb shit I did when I was manic haunting me and making me feel like an awful person. This mental illness is so incredibly exhausting. I feel like I’m just constantly carrying around this giant weight and I wish it would just go away.",3.653181818181821,5.031696136363639,5.380727272727274,79.99609090909092,72.48484848484848,7.704242424242422,25.32121212121212,8.238735603445708,1.624388484848485,518,16,99,8,10,177,84,132,0.35100000000000003,0.579,0.069,-0.9919,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,10,12,6,0,5,1,11,12,2,4,0,21,24,8,0,2,3,0,4,2,0,1,9,0,0,1,9,7,1,1,4,0,1,2,1,9,1,3,2,4,18,3,12,18,0,14,0,1,0,0,1,7,2,1,6,71,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11592318071242405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09741391783182367,0.1427470704064836,0.0,0.24804392495988906,0.0,0.0,0.13089321947102533,0.10712642877122848,0.0,0.08492655249754479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15055254251560155,0.15625623424419746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11638175408610492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11738086092702993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14088605816503472,0.19905665965200847,0.0,0.0,0.1273335175123235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0791772503513668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12480096476960298,0.550188089620473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14914208534801146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14246141101988838,0.0,0.1361268224612158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09299540093455363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15475014902057724,0.0,0.1403991028814951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12164652059252434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11897624032093455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14300723926604791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0892689209657206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3202495574797477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945873234060216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11058361346277748,0.0,0.1696509780823601,0.1252630128173822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16020805629334664,0.0,0.0,0.10142467696585884,0.0,0.0,0.09896703545150833,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,zzzsleepygurll,2020/03/25,"Perspective on SSDI So I’ve struggled to hold down jobs for years now and in the past year it’s become increasingly difficult. Not only is it hard for me to work with my lack of focus and motivation, depression, and severe anxiety, but I can’t or have found that I personally can’t focus on the level of treatment I need.

I’m on a leave of absence right now and have considered it in the past, but am not STRONGLY considering getting a lawyer and applying to SSDI.

I struggle with guilt, shame because I feel like I’d be taking advantage of the system? But when I don’t work And I’m not suuuuuuper depressed I practice dbt, see my providers more frequently, and go to multiple groups a day. Which feels more productive than work to me??

Has anyone else struggled with thoughts of guilt and shame and unworthiness for SSDI?",5.366881472957424,6.6262964936708855,6.516881472957423,73.92299769850406,68.24050632911393,9.796087456846953,32.08515535097813,10.018931242160765,3.301030379746837,658,28,120,16,11,221,96,158,0.22,0.715,0.065,-0.9694,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,6,4,13,0,7,7,0,9,0,0,1,0,27,20,15,0,2,7,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,12,0,1,5,0,0,2,6,10,0,0,2,4,11,3,23,17,4,20,0,2,1,0,2,8,0,1,10,78,16,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12109078517577775,0.0,0.0,0.11067947116200104,0.16218596494384274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964916115402296,0.17481795699949748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10208342256506653,0.0,0.2726684679713464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13223029400577185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16007152528989954,0.11308181783425494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17355590961080927,0.0,0.0,0.08269956049038757,0.0,0.08995938559908531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14179600911908616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1570775811928563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1676053805596506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07733209512721695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11736941715855348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12038604993078166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3022098555571143,0.0,0.1382120016066087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13517809007844173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261359782452842,0.0,0.0,0.17882171187387366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4964346401086619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11901375983400815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12566392341815985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3457092125810424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20386607722576652
bipolarreddit,off0noff,2020/03/25,"i wish i could control how i feel i really hate having bipolar and bpd wow my country is in quarantine and it got extended by 2 weeks of the initial end of it. so my bf isnt getting paid by his whack ass company who is also my former employer but ive alreasy lodged a report for going against the law so whatever.

so bc its getting extended!! my bf wants to go back to his hometown to stay with his family because hes not getting paid obvs gonna be hard for him to survive alone here esp since his roommates leech off of him... But see the thing his his hometown is only accessible by flight bc its a whole island away so we're gonna be LDR and obviously im sad because i cant do long distance!!! like nvm not seeing e/o bc of the quarantine, but going actual LDR is not for me!!!!!!

Im really mad!!!! at myself for being mad and disappointed because i should be understanding and supportive right!!!! because my bf isnt getting paid so obvs he needs to go home to his family n find a way to survive in the midst of this!!!! but why cant i!!!! Like im able to think rationally about it and. I know i sound stupid as fuck and even more idiotic for feeling angry and half heartedly repltimg to his texts but i just cant stop feelimg like this no matter how many times ive tried to tell myself that he's going for a reason!!!! 

Like wtf!!!! Why cant my brain and my sensible mind just cooperate so i can stop feeling this shitty :( i just want a healthy and functional brain so i can be supportive. I dont want to reply to my bf's texts bc im not in the mood and he also knows im not okay bc of the way ive been replying to him so i just dont wanna continue replying cos knowing my dumbass itll end up escalating unneccessarily ;______; i hate this i just want to live with a healthy brain

Like i know im an insensible jackass for feeli g like this but i dont wanna be seen as unsupportive of him bc i do support him eventho it doesnt seem like it!! I just!!! Im mad and sad and i cant control how im feeling, and i wish i could but i cant!!!!!! Im medicated!!! But my brain is still like this!!! What the fuck am i supposed to do!!",-0.1879382731475694,1.920588918322295,3.033903952684412,88.53445707859552,88.0728476821192,6.4210754300470665,22.01295347577992,7.7046832291405725,1.103711516514641,1632,61,367,34,53,587,194,453,0.185,0.6990000000000001,0.11599999999999999,-0.9928,1,3,0,0,0,0,68.0,0,0,0,4,24,26,9,0,15,1,39,10,6,7,1,72,82,37,0,12,19,0,5,8,4,4,2,1,1,0,18,16,0,4,13,0,3,5,18,12,0,1,6,9,56,13,47,64,2,27,0,3,3,3,23,8,3,1,19,224,74,2,0.06247890069510618,0.0,0.060970394388646175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0647092984695653,0.0,0.09992870862574264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05870098388269567,0.048042418042155664,0.0,0.1523462318221863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07868998824788087,0.2789884647551717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14015079963664226,0.09976863650124428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21967441888827796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11067552259129043,0.0,0.0,0.04126672465657134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177990941911625,0.0,0.12636483788945105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05710458333460454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11552147384206528,0.13057058756665807,0.0,0.17754099545930188,0.0,0.0499700844420758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05596882291604885,0.12336995877930755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07403779814787889,0.0,0.0,0.06267143161537378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6073914076551266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373470794304708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24419227958762985,0.0,0.05517001398030262,0.055291861018823066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06334379885360737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06294091933659325,0.0,0.0,0.06308587896955982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04632731319814511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04751801938572047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08005116729794311,0.06423871576078558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05335663981470711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09957518936691494,0.05687844464942205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05168319229413678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06659419505872516,0.04989573080239798,0.10447031720217764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21270094830100708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05460931307654459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041508205401653724,0.04003395677798551,0.0,0.0,0.036431949437326284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042419072349223375,0.0,0.0,0.0650427390603833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14740669760988906,0.09918568643665583,0.05011680546842048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11275497981197972,0.06975546137590978,0.1436953047431995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,p-diddy-tarot-,2020/03/25,"I feel like my mind is tricking me into thinking I’m bipolar I haven’t been fully diagnosed with bipolar disorder but my psychiatrist has already prescribed me Abilify and reading about it makes me terrified. My brain is racing, I feel like I am just making myself believe I have this disorder and am completely lying to my psychiatrist because as soon as I read about abilify and that it is an antipsychotic I got scared and I don’t know if I want to be medicated. I have no problem with medication and seeing the right fit but now I don’t know if I should. What if I don’t need the medication and it negatively impacts me? What if I don’t have any mental health issues and I’m a liar? I am rethinking all of my past decisions and words, what’s your experience starting medication, we’re you guys scared?",3.1536286919831227,5.505108962025318,5.247113924050634,76.20442616033759,76.46835443037975,8.77029535864979,29.52067510548523,9.3871,3.0904138396624474,648,30,119,18,15,224,90,158,0.212,0.722,0.065,-0.9822,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,2,0,0,5,7,2,2,4,0,18,9,1,2,1,34,32,16,0,8,7,0,2,2,0,1,8,0,0,1,8,11,0,0,7,2,0,0,7,5,0,0,2,3,27,2,10,28,1,7,0,0,1,0,3,3,0,4,6,87,35,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14874385204449814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916616590147184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0821665866916121,0.0,0.0,0.15186190210381895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150469949936282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14132449899606234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368087692126163,0.0,0.0,0.30896148545352004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13185024951773608,0.0,0.0,0.13630750538462624,0.19258766311410466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10780368444135176,0.0,0.0,0.13346305412784676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14327521194686238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14068549007896802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14815385420277946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13170293659496582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1799464230702437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5431460108478302,0.1358363753040657,0.0,0.13609923347284267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09994489920900043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12867207780720066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12897559667349173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2696524722728821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11510971865783395,0.0,0.0,0.2698961282739277,0.0,0.1074099875210539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954048859671264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0863678357084918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07950249279695892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,cadsonfire,2020/03/25,"I don’t think I’ll survive this pandemic..🤷‍♀️ If we’re expected to be quarantined for months on months like some have suggested. I want to tell the people I’ve crushed on for years that those feelings are/ were there (and potentially ruin friendships or relationships). I want to reconnect with some old friends. I don’t drink or smoke or do anything, so I can’t get out of my head completely. But truly, I just wish I had the cojones to end it all once I’ve hit my breaking point :-/",1.789090909090909,4.0172766464646426,3.2891818181818198,89.11377272727276,80.51515151515152,7.192323232323233,26.061616161616165,8.238735603445708,1.7315931313131316,384,16,82,8,10,126,73,99,0.09,0.7390000000000001,0.171,0.7076,0,1,2,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,2,0,9,2,1,0,1,18,16,7,0,5,6,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,3,1,0,2,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,1,9,2,11,12,3,10,0,1,0,0,4,4,0,6,6,47,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19642314055288507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25026397282564977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2338272442814477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21141022402362875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206898240073035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184412811825504,0.0,0.12470669449785048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449668077878684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11661283209636272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3810432814072751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2504670537759361,0.25419914131414084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16547894702254634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.225641048913308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2562658309956624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20862728887077864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529441663852098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28157339793525704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2744839676889318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15370979277467814
bipolarreddit,AdeshBrar619,2020/03/26,"Need A Friend I’m getting really tired of this Quarantine and feel a little Suicidal, don’t have anyone who will continuously chat with me rn and just feel lonely.",6.52741935483871,7.516796741935487,7.584032258064513,68.29604838709679,65.45161290322581,11.361290322580645,28.403225806451612,11.20814326018867,3.4607935483870964,133,4,23,4,2,45,28,31,0.27399999999999997,0.637,0.08900000000000001,-0.7717,0,3,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,7,8,2,1,1,1,0,2,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,1,2,7,0,2,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,13,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2668935224639213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3859979884459502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2949004814357773,0.0,0.1994225015151276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38256368693394704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2830257214468733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2445268008556973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4175178593109069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4387080119847069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,senoritakatalina,2020/03/26,"I’m so sick of bad prescribers After moving many times, different treatment facilities, changing insurance- I have had my fair share of psych med prescribers. I just feel like soooo many are so uneducated and recently mine combined drugs with opposite effects. 

I was taking 200mg lamotrigine for my bipolar II and 120mg of strattera for my ADHD. After been stable for a good 6 months, about two months ago, my depression came back and kicked my ass. 

My psych nurse put me on 20mg of Latuda and pretty quickly my depression lifted and I was relieved. I also felt no side effects. But then my ADHD symptoms came back with vengeance! It was like my strattera (which changed my life) completely stopped working!

I went back to her and she decided to put me on 20mg XR adderall to try and help. Now this is a complete accident that I’m so grateful for- I had accidentally not taken my Latuda for two days. This is a rare occurrence for me, I have a system down to make sure I take them. Well the adderall worked! I felt like myself again and lifted all the ADHD symptoms. 

I took my Latuda that night and the next day- back to awful. Didn’t feel the adderall AT ALL. So I look it up- Latuda stops the strattera and adderall from working!!! If I hadn’t of made this mistake, I would’ve never known. 

I have 0 trust in doctors and the system. I’m so frustrated with this psych nurse, and feel like I can’t trust her anymore. I can’t get in to see another psychologist for 6 months. I think I am going to see if my pcp will take over my psych meds. Ahhhhh.",2.7443398366606147,5.012178901315792,3.946960072595285,85.43578947368425,77.42105263157895,6.561524500907443,25.614337568058076,7.6298220110432995,1.436697504537205,1222,46,237,18,29,398,160,304,0.145,0.741,0.114,-0.9197,1,0,1,0,0,0,37.0,0,0,1,5,16,16,1,0,10,1,18,8,1,4,4,41,42,22,0,3,5,0,5,4,0,1,7,0,0,0,9,17,0,2,10,0,0,8,7,5,1,2,16,8,42,11,34,25,2,42,0,2,3,1,6,9,1,2,27,151,51,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33129340037304245,0.0,0.08145288308735454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07348254355308775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09635224307555383,0.0,0.0,0.09112788643215047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28262381249417384,0.07672237366257807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21019005082293907,0.0,0.0,0.1944099606372256,0.0,0.1926849660099955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11851990231991633,0.0,0.15828544624415894,0.0,0.0,0.09600306706988376,0.0,0.09405093288511768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10656053502223534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13938351397946105,0.13128915221599213,0.17645316315618406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04800751965860755,0.0,0.05222188542496939,0.07707102541160381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061590374202931265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06490298499104379,0.1795667137792199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771625077043074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08694634344923506,0.061335739130899465,0.18631936796105644,0.0,0.0,0.20413299314605507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22003160572011707,0.09766206067952156,0.0,0.0,0.07086944260057731,0.0,0.0977235888665124,0.08623036192913379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09348280357529844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18474499351965412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09072799742114418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14644516656100054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15364442790039828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08660304984046932,0.19101296291261854,0.2072642967264638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05887791432507146,0.0,0.0,0.053580444460233315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102090592153578,0.0623857022521434,0.0,0.1795218208075644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08261805852446961,0.08518079884805349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006859736706244,0.0,0.0,0.06527437064639532,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,yullari27,2020/03/26,"Coming off of Abilify... I'm currently in the process of coming off of Abilify. I went from 10mg to 5mg with no noticeable change in mental health. I'm on day two of 0mg, and I'm crying. I can't separate if this is due to being isolated during COVID-19 or if this is the lack of Abilify. What have your experiences been? Thanks!",1.0416149068323008,3.0979024782608704,3.987619047619052,84.03000000000002,82.18840579710145,8.580538302277432,24.349896480331264,9.23628265651192,2.2897809523809523,257,10,55,8,7,92,47,69,0.15,0.8079999999999999,0.043,-0.7424,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,6,1,0,0,0,8,13,4,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,2,0,3,1,14,10,1,11,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,3,3,35,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2960363748224581,0.482119257889693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3073939659078917,0.18047533219026615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2737397694717853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.297459607644349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2820155304796447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31860266546039595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25764147659345543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27336556655432026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25941690243447635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,infinite_serenity,2020/03/26,"Auto pilot Has anyone else felt like they've been stuck on auto pilot since taking medications ? I take deppakote & resperdone (sorry if misspelled ) 
I know its helped with my manic episodes and depression some but I feel emotionless and just spacy . does anyone else feel this way ? Should I ask my doctor to switch me ? Ive been taking these meds for about a year now and I compare myself from now to last year and I had more of a personality I feel like . 
Maybe its in my head idk , any suggestions ?",2.953263157894739,5.594440168421055,3.765526315789476,84.98618421052633,78.89473684210526,6.326315789473685,20.026315789473685,7.554174236665415,0.7880315789473684,396,10,73,6,10,126,69,95,0.071,0.8740000000000001,0.055,0.3632,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,2,0,6,3,1,0,0,15,16,6,0,2,3,0,4,2,0,1,2,0,0,1,4,5,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,4,13,2,9,10,2,9,0,1,0,0,4,3,0,2,7,44,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18445798145168116,0.0,0.11577092855508325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23807542081428335,0.3488676937899265,0.0,0.0,0.1591540186008353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14662985731122502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17425069955780995,0.14898060438597754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2844319959185771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2582395950012961,0.12162147634374205,0.16345976683033392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1747182077479079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141101471475812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935609798820904,0.1387705880384756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16634404643038508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17103175511060864,0.0,0.18910135055214453,0.17150169081803793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486494292871849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408265871986548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19057285469154048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.384004151687247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13513079494331806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21926153791537534
bipolarreddit,Swimming_Swan,2020/03/26,"Recently diagnosed... I was recently diagnosed with bipolar 2 & started taking lamictal today.

I'm not sure how to feel about it or if I should like.. do something about it? 

I already felt like my problems had been ""solved"" when I was diagnosed with ADHD  now I'm even wondering if that's true 🙄 I felt relieved, but this diagnosis scares me .

Any advice would help.",2.6098913043478262,5.395988739130439,4.191141304347827,80.37627717391305,81.89855072463769,8.08768115942029,28.91485507246377,8.841846274778883,3.025215942028986,289,14,51,8,8,96,52,69,0.095,0.7709999999999999,0.133,0.3755,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,6,7,0,1,0,0,7,4,0,1,2,17,15,6,0,5,5,0,3,2,0,2,4,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,6,3,7,5,5,7,0,6,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,8,32,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21324248652384847,0.17338750761608973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1958040241081417,0.0,0.0,0.19225083615335653,0.0,0.12066193960165125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5402786167679424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11719419758347205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08971650829127234,0.12675965733374875,0.34073100663086525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189309946365842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17337163598828287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16978140940482955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35039147315875796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17764346990096985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13659819406278156,0.0,0.0,0.1255894635991626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16723046400322888,0.0,0.13340909885859673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16818770986730608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924207764921596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12604479069528665,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,tms173601,2020/03/26,"I fell off the wagon tonight. I have a few addictions. Nicotine, hot showers. But mainly im addicted to sex and pain. Now, with all the changes happening in the world, my classes getting canceled and having to stay inside my house, I am really itching to be in pain. So, I haven't had sex, I'm bored with my toys, and I am in desperate need to be punished.

So I did something I haven't done in years.

I cut myself. 

Not because I want to die, but because I needed to release the vibration that lies under my skin. 

And now I'm ashamed. I am so ashamed of myself. But goddamn it felt good.",0.9263846153846133,3.1413461,2.956666666666667,90.30576923076923,83.83333333333334,5.6923076923076925,26.73076923076923,7.010146845296331,1.3441346153846156,452,21,94,6,13,152,72,120,0.247,0.722,0.031,-0.9716,1,0,1,0,0,2,20.0,0,0,0,0,5,8,2,2,5,0,12,8,2,0,1,15,20,10,1,3,4,0,3,0,0,0,5,0,1,0,2,6,0,0,1,1,0,1,3,7,0,0,4,3,17,1,15,14,3,13,0,0,0,2,0,7,0,0,4,67,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44236810173806224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24736419869740775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21463460238871168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21057159890696028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2076306697828516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19480974323599606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10600356956834306,0.0,0.0,0.17017758597027766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17941820421131405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23411205662963314,0.0,0.0,0.21915998264570627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30088617407848806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4317863444599132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12997888176558156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15619746130530585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21625765864464844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11967194462499055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13065687273113502
bipolarreddit,2kayzm,2020/03/26,Very upset I’m bipolar. I feel as I can never be normal I’m so upset and I can’t stop crying. I just want to be normal and live a normal life. I realized I’m gonna be like this forever and I don’t know what to do. I can’t even get my meds till the end of April. I don’t know what To do,-3.7410371318822015,-2.3311217746478867,0.7216389244558279,101.38504481434059,104.77464788732394,3.7085787451984626,10.67989756722151,5.565023196281405,-1.5121380281690144,218,3,61,2,11,83,41,71,0.17600000000000002,0.763,0.06,-0.8067,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,2,2,0,10,2,0,0,1,14,19,6,0,4,1,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,4,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,0,1,9,1,6,15,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,37,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2597930014409151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20947594434328115,0.0,0.0,0.15621134492966401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11958558283221275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1235657013113358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25995729220756925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16705263914169982,0.11554589300846616,0.0,0.2088409524955859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.262707140863003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824095983037044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6951830584313042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977313306446537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19514392095173225,0.1394985831618108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,_poho,2020/03/27,"Nervous about new medication I had to stop taking lithium very quickly because my levels went toxic super fast and I developed hypothyroidism. Prior to the blood test that picked it up, I was okay with taking lithium, it had some annoying quirks, but it helped. Coming off it was tough and very stressful, and I am not in a great headspace. 

I've been prescribed lamotrigine. I've had the pills sitting in their box for a week, and I just can't bring myself to take them. My lithium experience has made me really nervous about how quickly things can go south, even with a drug I thought I knew relatively well. Lamotrigine is a total unknown and I'm really anxious about it. I know I need to take it because I'm undermedicated and not doing well, but I've got such a mental block. 

Any top tips on getting past this?",5.9648076923076925,6.764263301282058,6.529897435897437,76.03176923076926,66.62820512820512,9.060512820512821,32.266666666666666,9.120678840339163,2.7649866666666663,649,26,119,11,10,212,101,156,0.163,0.7659999999999999,0.07200000000000001,-0.9388,0,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,2,2,11,10,1,3,7,1,12,4,1,3,1,25,29,9,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,9,9,0,2,3,0,0,4,3,5,2,0,11,0,15,5,15,18,2,21,0,0,0,0,3,8,0,1,8,78,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11262757826744152,0.0,0.0,0.18710395471855876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20192136544445655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14266734364471234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19206712887967015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10939073832559107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16200856996005286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0865298439383685,0.0,0.0941259125262842,0.0,0.1324617952309513,0.1825971193060436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11101188950781003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09102066223330796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15671406444605132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1668451687024066,0.16690644873302615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12280545736452085,0.0,0.1599572525730054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15810344990305908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2122013890713025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384661034642483,0.18971765394254012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4981038353233905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100308607781436,0.0,0.0,0.13148412902775156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2733084156246459,0.0,0.0,0.13285072654385058,0.0,0.29782533075864004,0.15353180675198866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,fifirosemary,2020/03/27,"In need of some objective opinions (bit of a rant sorry) So my partner believes that I may be on the bipolar spectrum but im not too positive. I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety for a little while and was previously going to therapy until I tricked myself into thinking I was better and just stopped going altogether. Ive had issues with my mental health for a little while since I was a teen which I chalked up to being a result of trouble with home life. I was in care at a young age which I was subject to sexual abuse. I have a gambling addict father who has been a major part in my emotional dysregulation and a schizophrenic mother. My father used to have terrible moods but be really loving the next which I dont think I ever really understood. 

I tend to have recurring depressive episodes and am unable to handle any amount of stress which leads to significant suicidal ideation and I alot of the time I wake up and cry. I can get into moods where I look at my partner and feel nothing towards him at all but then feel intense amounts of love the next. I can be going about my day and become irrationally irritated at someone for something they havent even done. Alot of the time memories feel distant like it wasnt me actually there and I can become so emotionally detached and numb. I also have bulimic tendencies which I have had since I was 14 (now 21F)

But I do have periods where I do I feel great and I question if I was ever down. I have a great outlook on life and tend to be more talkative. I never really notice when my mood changes but my partner says I become a bit erratic. I have tried to write a novel, do art, make music, become a youtuber and a famous singer all things I never stick too. I spend money when I shouldn’t on clothes mostly and food and now cant afford rent. I have no clue where all my money has gone tbh im in debt too. I dont have any hobbies (Im not feeling the best today). I tend to have hypnagogic hallucinations of faces/closed eyes visuals and the of period of paranoid/anxious thinking. Things like poison in the food and people harming my family. But they last less than a minute. I recently dropped out of school due to my mental health and declining grades. During an academic year I tend to miss periods of uni after id been super up for going. I realised ive missed about 60% of uni over that last couple years. 

Ive been on antidepressants before I wasn’t sleeping on them much and stopped and my Gp suggested I track my moods but I always would start but fall off. I wanted to start my antidepressants again a few weeks back but wasnt able to bc of the severity of my depression at the time. 

Ive just realised ive listened to the same song for the past 49 minutes lol. Theres probably more I could say but this has been a long post sorry. 

This is my first post lol
Idk just wanted an objective opinion x",3.7326184926184918,5.349811531468532,5.210689976689981,80.34441103341106,72.67132867132867,8.371157731157732,27.396425796425795,8.96741613852259,2.2409795959595957,2284,84,438,47,45,768,276,572,0.162,0.74,0.098,-0.988,3,0,1,0,1,0,39.0,0,0,3,5,25,26,2,1,33,2,59,17,3,4,7,81,92,41,1,7,16,3,5,2,3,3,10,4,2,3,13,27,2,2,10,3,6,7,13,12,0,1,20,11,71,10,68,63,20,82,0,5,2,2,19,30,0,9,44,316,84,5,0.07298309116163063,0.08647302874314859,0.07122096903628268,0.07956234207503897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058364551633891426,0.06072777840001092,0.0,0.0,0.09926200937348936,0.0,0.05583186497514233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05611949212593066,0.0,0.0,0.32241636079104696,0.06210323511988606,0.0822269513346071,0.07659125147522827,0.06454761322446832,0.1593572661872282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07441112550732999,0.0,0.07720643323646467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05827105960438446,0.08075440220976471,0.08016849861910724,0.04706805605876346,0.0,0.1885806884230241,0.07407630124705518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07468704144637615,0.17107127858346172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641923086026428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048204643392331034,0.1320347686330371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06880196301840931,0.0,0.18451221893923414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06207938005865361,0.17650288706182735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03813065286595023,0.0,0.16591189041260207,0.0,0.0,0.1609282313172868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15515522612322008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07320799111263797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365027872476501,0.07617538557037304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189819204402933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10310023130777382,0.07131170364648529,0.14629646137990934,0.0,0.06458773903410013,0.061287415314563574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13174017844698946,0.0,0.048716780073379096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14709958016936958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05365096954589596,0.054116037330958884,0.1125781183374046,0.0,0.15523669085102254,0.0,0.0,0.07002924433443816,0.08309173301618768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07903357557773177,0.06967061872267565,0.05059728598329933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13979525388614594,0.0,0.0786881162218452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08175776506609858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14026451111098887,0.0,0.07206199777638793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11607816683702694,0.0,0.07386278463684788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08245011920166362,0.0,0.12074473439070997,0.0,0.07303579867723199,0.0,0.06183833630216699,0.056185949207449945,0.0,0.16339719068353045,0.10331561513222168,0.0,0.0,0.12203426435523396,0.08360188434152245,0.0,0.0,0.07983165609579505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08346252528278908,0.0,0.096973445597831,0.1402938536649391,0.0,0.0,0.12767108211245634,0.0,0.06917943673236701,0.0,0.0,0.049550728162822286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.063033957865092,0.0,0.0,0.08609463618763796,0.0,0.05854263345766481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0518450939740398,0.0,0.0,0.09399743572690752
bipolarreddit,Proud_Veterinarian,2020/03/27,Antidepressant triggering mania? Anyone had this happen to them?,9.080000000000002,12.903350888888884,8.453888888888889,42.46750000000004,95.66666666666669,10.68888888888889,26.722222222222207,8.841846274778883,5.606288888888887,54,2,4,2,2,17,9,9,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.62024208400159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7844104520169046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Detrimentation,2020/03/27,"How I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfF1fNa5qrc

Hope you guys don't mind me posting content here, just wanted to share my story in the hopes of someone relating to it and finding comfort. I'll take the post down if it's not allowed",7.358043478260871,10.38652980434783,5.8254347826086965,73.77989130434786,66.17391304347827,8.078260869565218,35.413043478260875,8.841846274778883,3.4860608695652173,225,11,33,4,4,66,42,46,0.054000000000000006,0.7390000000000001,0.20800000000000002,0.7717,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,2,0,12,6,3,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,4,4,6,5,0,4,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,3,0,22,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26723814445140925,0.0,0.0,0.3017580472171063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24064619523547795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2607027250023287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5230212430463844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2658521586289333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5043262639025522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22308838280461907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19796452566557374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15529778373564626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,discrepancy00,2020/03/27,"Sedation from antipsychotics I'm currently taking 2.5mg Haldol, 600mg Lithium, and 400mg Lamictal. Symptoms are well controlled, but I am so, so tired! I also take a daily multivitamin. 

I read that sometimes psychiatrists will prescribe a stimulant like Provigil. But it's cautionary. 

I am not at all depressed. My mood is very stable. I'm just tired. I sleep 7-8 hours every night.

Any tips for dealing with the extreme sedation?",2.948146853146856,6.033664141025642,4.421608391608391,75.99157342657345,87.07692307692307,7.451748251748253,30.16783216783217,8.296473431620573,3.2725230769230773,345,18,54,9,11,114,63,78,0.139,0.715,0.146,-0.4528,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,5,4,0,0,3,0,5,4,1,2,1,9,9,6,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,6,2,4,8,1,4,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,30,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17855655774186174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15183773550980795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2504269763118059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301913890278575,0.19231033015054025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18812263216899006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2198853586827162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090830990161348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20953271150416009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22333995044733632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2234407776408144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22082916227265156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23207292162600915,0.3357568349053163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.513253943004359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18422899418861108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20075511031796733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,WorldGranola,2020/03/27,"Does being on your period make everything 10x worse? PMS always makes the depression so much more worse, to the point of suicidal ideation. And PMS during mania makes me so emotional I feel like I cant control what I say or process things logically. I hate periods I want a hysterectomy",3.515157232704404,6.476967716981138,4.775754716981132,76.55595911949688,79.37735849056604,9.571069182389936,27.701257861635213,9.725611199111238,3.5019333333333336,231,10,40,8,6,76,44,53,0.29100000000000004,0.61,0.099,-0.9315,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,1,2,3,1,0,3,0,2,2,0,4,0,9,8,4,1,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,7,1,3,7,2,4,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,1,3,23,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1873423237358623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25252417887103235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1939208344280636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970297430952648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2532627525953541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20234974852240528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11384229347579787,0.16084676483652247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2222884037684264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10999661623298666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4508668861764659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16551070317777872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21283894248632926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1790478269022585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2462768827496869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14957924624958466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13279894003649945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4588929144636166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Slaym89,2020/03/27,"I got so manic i paid my electric bill. So yeah.. long story somehow short..
I have lived 2 weeks without any electricity in my apparment because i didnt pay my bills for 6 months. Im one of those stayhome depressed people and all my momey goes to weed and the basic living.. so its normal for me to leave part of rent unpaid etc.. (im bad with cash okay??)
Well today i got weird refreshed feeling of strong euphoria (full manic mode in weirdly good way)
Like i can do it! I can do anything i want!..
Well i pulled myself for not buying any weed and paid whole gigantic bill. And after living in dark, while stealing electricity from block stairs.. the ammiunt of light (enlightment) it bringed was just astounishing.. i have been sitting around 2 hours on sofa just being quiet and thinking about ""what if.."" scenarios such as ""hey now i paid bill.. how about i do this again next month and pay all the rent i owe?"" 
This kind of power is scary thou. But i wanna believe ""normal"" people think same way.. 
Might try smaug and jourm next?",1.8808629776021104,4.489567257575762,2.904765041721564,89.56990118577076,83.49494949494951,5.261660079051382,20.72990777338603,6.7026698264267655,0.4727072463768121,799,24,154,9,23,254,133,198,0.113,0.7829999999999999,0.10400000000000001,-0.6062,4,0,0,0,0,0,43.0,0,1,0,2,15,12,0,0,3,2,13,0,0,1,2,29,24,15,0,5,6,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,3,0,7,9,0,1,3,0,14,2,3,5,2,1,8,3,21,7,23,14,7,25,0,1,0,0,2,8,0,3,13,98,28,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1841332496331225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11141054001323024,0.12052159188707713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11304104375555825,0.08252960278822143,0.0,0.0,0.15253283559570546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166071329690974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15099036132872415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06845485938626036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135547395099467,0.21655993304051332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333272177204524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2924786433941329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14098292300306875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14335345075037534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06614240338362766,0.0,0.35864301612101324,0.11981170187736714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436223746194318,0.0,0.0,0.2161264585756275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28796753691675114,0.0,0.2652976353032773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091740561412914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14660905207445296,0.0,0.18771819650891755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17349882626748664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12832940390507386,0.0,0.0,0.09191771006748073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07985373879326862,0.21492504818756375,0.10859789569723928,0.0,0.24345523014544385,0.0,0.0,0.15115281686473786,0.0,0.1305065671428216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SoberWHO,2020/03/27,"Bipolar College Grads Hi! I’m a freshman education major! I have rapid cycling bipolar disorder. Right now I’m feeling like I can’t do it... right now and all other times too really. I’m drowning. I can’t get out of bed. I tried lithium, lamictal and now I’m on Abilify (I started yesterday). Does anyone here have any advice on how I’m supposed to survive this? Right now it’s feeling pretty impossible.",0.22219409282700286,2.324047506329116,3.1931139240506323,81.55009282700425,105.58227848101265,5.650970464135021,28.051476793248945,7.0316486544052195,2.3987512236286928,319,18,55,7,15,112,53,79,0.037000000000000005,0.836,0.127,0.6792,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,7,1,0,0,1,0,5,2,0,1,1,7,14,3,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,4,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,5,1,5,14,2,13,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,8,30,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2494859687309508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17361954909189745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17851868222674244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2926073691432399,0.0,0.22342349396139544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2581848056985323,0.18239350885610756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333889329654062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12473156558308104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.259742046833448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16355811806478415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6541000129484631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18070972597295687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14887330912296562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17333872515988075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,notabucketofspam,2020/03/27,"How do you explain the difference between type 1 and type 2? I've always been told that bipolar type 1 is mostly mania and bipolar type 2 is mostly depression, but that doesn't seem totally accurate. What's the best way to explain the difference between the two, especially to someone else who's unfamiliar with the disorder?",9.372500000000002,8.689173916666668,9.713333333333336,61.04500000000003,59.83333333333334,13.333333333333336,45.0,12.45797560212912,6.057,265,15,41,8,3,89,41,60,0.10099999999999999,0.8059999999999999,0.09300000000000001,0.3094,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,5,0,5,2,0,1,1,11,9,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,1,1,5,7,4,1,0,1,0,0,5,0,0,3,0,29,5,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2311581763342309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2915419348547593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23927527718085284,0.0,0.0,0.5804996233936732,0.3183915755611869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23207260073256136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2529056036000589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23538547636297555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2654570651818037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27137765633539096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22051074050425454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,HafuriYuki,2020/03/27,"Quarantine + springtime = what to expect? Yesterday I was watching [this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6psjzHIi6As) on springtime mania as I'm very familiar with it. But I started wondering if the quarantine and the current pandemic could affect us and how. In my case, I live in Spain, where things are pretty damn bad. There's a lot of anger, confusion and fear. I'm fortunate that me and my family are healthy and I still have my job (remote), but as we're getting more sunlight I'm starting to fear what might come. Of course can't see my therapist or pdoc either.",4.829134615384613,7.643983644230772,4.6910000000000025,79.95400000000002,73.13461538461539,8.775384615384615,29.63076923076923,9.3871,3.1383030769230764,465,20,78,12,10,143,78,104,0.146,0.7959999999999999,0.057999999999999996,-0.8364,2,3,0,0,0,0,27.0,1,0,0,0,4,6,2,3,3,0,7,0,0,2,0,20,16,12,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,7,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,6,0,0,1,2,10,0,10,13,3,10,0,0,2,0,1,4,1,6,5,52,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18082633712991705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18655529389117495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17291298060514398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2041622818903211,0.4874013925035903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11314853177949477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2149116341375466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912346783899892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1841194923271603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22974582567100224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22032885777883413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17257770970479455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30657776050158164,0.0,0.17295253969732116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2514536740401579,0.14387903387816614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2605062279761096,0.0,0.0,0.17869237099823485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348601906574869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,koolandkrazy,2020/03/27,"I have to go back to work in a few days after quarantining and I’m freaking out I have asthma and I am super worried about leaving and getting the virus. I stayed home two weeks because I had a cold and my work didnt want to take any chances but I’m kind of spiraling and I just needed to tell someone I’m really scared to go back. Not being able to breathe is one of my biggest fears, especially with asthma and having had panic attacks, I’m very familiar with the feeling",2.814081632653064,4.403334642857146,4.479336734693877,84.76655612244899,75.0204081632653,6.940816326530613,27.556122448979593,7.645422480735847,1.6097306122448978,377,15,76,5,8,127,65,98,0.20600000000000002,0.7390000000000001,0.055,-0.946,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,3,4,7,1,3,4,0,9,3,1,0,0,15,20,7,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,9,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,5,0,2,3,2,8,2,14,16,1,11,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,5,49,8,2,0.20013154479119105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13609631326110486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22767852412786044,0.0,0.3077776091228156,0.0,0.12199833215086962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12906828992070676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252036277715102,0.10119252232652172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1045604720285018,0.0,0.2274787378761869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20074825715431752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2084062068281708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21191040922001897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14839500460507196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356143141956001,0.0,0.0,0.23481124706225615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12820939225432226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20036658956625286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16957080845016595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21331359839806666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15047401500491722,0.0,0.17492379130240848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19549943901017086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16512948392365806,0.1180427703473734,0.0,0.16053345348280468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2913962963263632,0.2032432983518185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lindslee33,2020/03/27,"Hypomania or something else?!!! Hi new here and have no one to go to, no therapist yet, and no one who understands what I'm dealing  with. To everyone around me I'm ridiculous and ""need to just take a deep breath and calm down"". I dont know what is going on this isnt my typical ""hypomania"" I experience. I dont know if it's due to the quarantine and my entire schedule being thrown off. Plus being stuck at home with 2 kids and becoming their teacher. A week ago it was as usual extremely happy, going a million miles an hour staying up all night completing tasked I have been trying to get done for months. I turned extremely outgoing, witty and funny but do snap at people very easily. I felt amazing then in the snap of a finger I'm angry and full of anxiety and super paranoid. I feel stuck and a ball of energy in my chest about to explode. My thought are racing so fast I can't think straight. Im shakey and uptigh. I want to cry and scream and laugh at the same time. I have never experienced this and have a feeling this is going to end terribly. This doesnt feel good anymore I feel like I have no grip on reality and need to bolt! Can this be hypomania also? What is happening to me? When will it end? What can I do to help myself? Any advice would be much appreciated!",1.6218475452196408,3.915763019379849,3.8242635658914734,84.66401808785531,81.59689922480621,7.233074935400517,22.73385012919897,8.285830014693849,1.5090067183462534,1001,34,203,22,27,343,156,258,0.14,0.6970000000000001,0.163,0.8859,0,1,1,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,1,1,8,10,1,0,10,0,27,3,3,0,2,40,53,24,0,5,4,0,7,1,0,2,0,1,1,1,13,19,0,0,10,1,0,4,10,3,0,3,7,9,21,7,32,40,4,37,0,0,0,0,6,15,0,2,18,140,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262558802555814,0.11453084888753955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10332375936312703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08786261252156431,0.0,0.0988401010543594,0.0,0.12813486514907438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11501824846468706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14269479309151736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13546710618778318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14192365790425812,0.0,0.13320283493459284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13221974095433892,0.30285039681579645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10793270192282572,0.0,0.22887138682916885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12345920284917,0.0,0.12638553031631494,0.0,0.0,0.2613160978783371,0.09230279815201163,0.12405534217552305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06750334390974035,0.0,0.2937166441028345,0.1083695215006392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11425397080365192,0.13753921824571466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08660218734305379,0.0,0.12960135296897873,0.0,0.12723913462116093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13956163683948178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14201340915403826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0631221614925032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10312876855931184,0.0,0.09497922474811968,0.19160508433078094,0.09964947971855148,0.12478526413364945,0.0,0.12124845895303504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17510287611811476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08957323675095234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09946694239878916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13771342950100546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971447334475265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15001488370330415,0.0,0.08278819917456251,0.0,0.10257291561457928,0.07533943005087919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08772049762462661,0.14053598949222956,0.0,0.13450509691190884,0.0,0.0,0.14229908075397688,0.1066061784791691,0.07620740006457889,0.0,0.10363902064744096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09178225247980423,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,needhelp99999,2020/03/27,"Really scared of getting the Lamictal rash and having to stop I don't believe I have bipolar, I was diagnosed with it once but another doctor told me it was a misdiagnosis and I had BPD and anxiety and refractory depression only. But I thought this would be the best place to ask. I recently started Lamictal for the severe anxiety and the BPD. I've been on 25 mg for 6 days, going to increase it to 50 in a week and so forth until I get to 100. This has been the only med that has made me feel a tiny bit stable besides Klonopin. I was planning suicide every day before this. I was literally waking up and having panic attacks so bad I would throw up. I feel a little okay for the first time ever. I'm terrified of having to go off it. I know 10% get the benign rash and have to stop just in case it progresses to the serious one. That's a big number... I'm just so scared. I can't go back to how it was before. 

I'm getting paranoid by pimples on my face that have faded away already. I have these tiny colorless bumps (just like 10, very far apart, a few are pink) on my upper thighs that I'm pretty sure are just acne. Told my doctor today and he told me it didn't sound like the rash at all and to keep going. I'm just so scared of having to stop. I know it happens most often in the 2-8 week phase, and I'm not even on week 2, and I'm so scared of it happening when I go up to 50 mg. I've tried dozens of SSRIs and SNRIs and SARIs that made me extremely worse and suicidal. This is my only option to feel a little sane. I would really appreciate some reassurance. I can't stop reading the bad stories.",2.748639053254436,3.7557988106508873,4.904101775147931,83.98320591715976,74.20710059171597,8.011550295857989,24.762603550295854,8.488131031819089,1.5103960710059172,1250,38,268,22,25,436,164,338,0.23600000000000002,0.6679999999999999,0.09699999999999999,-0.9954,0,0,0,0,0,1,34.0,0,0,0,4,16,17,1,5,18,1,29,10,6,3,3,48,61,25,2,3,8,0,3,2,0,3,4,1,0,0,19,16,0,5,6,1,0,7,5,10,0,3,15,5,26,7,37,42,7,46,0,1,1,0,6,20,0,4,21,171,45,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09495681247609457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09022950033486696,0.13165394607088035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08044386141763847,0.097892748839774,0.08084552855187446,0.06616609165000971,0.14369403802361005,0.0,0.0,0.14644210740481067,0.09694734916520373,0.09030273747536796,0.0,0.0939428269947505,0.0,0.21675049618771655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109885065953024,0.0,0.07411356637381432,0.08733755691173943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17614885568565153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056834314278821824,0.07783592002897588,0.07249968930300822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305263315086806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07319292807068578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17982744865486106,0.0,0.24451712165874634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521850539417725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07648398372089002,0.0,0.0,0.0945801628623638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08407803671144554,0.17248668341498574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.162842604903687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955806392539632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09163899182967747,0.05830878449990608,0.1963316015615839,0.0,0.10095953723114803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08990251286145826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08754240054263737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08607192462539986,0.0,0.11024992263042016,0.0,0.08496264967359071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3445987943470001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09721046889394012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060905669320527066,0.0,0.0,0.2877620596298659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882464888297075,0.0,0.08109982357601914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06831300735532367,0.05017565317681269,0.0,0.08156404802913095,0.2466694852667032,0.0,0.05842137725674663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07099913862188502,0.0,0.0,0.20706908263357013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08769091411678279,0.18337945210508952,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SM_2601,2020/03/27,"Anyone get seasonal bipolar? So I’m kind of worried that I’m heading into a hypo/manic episode..

Here’s a bit of background to help: My first ever manic episode which I was hospitalised for was during summer and later fell into depression in the winter. However, my second manic episode- also hospitalised for was in winter and was diagnosed with bipolar. My depressive episode lasted a lot longer this time and the change into summer did not help whatsoever.

Since my diagnosis I’ve been trying to learn more about bipolar and know that some people experience seasonal bipolar and I think I may be headed that way although it has only happened the once. 

My main concern is because I’m starting to noticing some warning signs: 
-back pain (before and during each manic episode I suffer from severe back pain.. does anyone else??) 
-Trouble sleeping (insomnia)
-Change in appetite (over eating) 

My general mood hasn’t changed really but I don’t know if that because of being in self isolation?? 

So I’m basically just asking if anyone here has seasonal bipolar and what their experience is like.",5.396672394043533,8.216399056701036,6.009209621993129,71.17596792668961,71.31958762886596,8.02245131729668,32.942726231386025,8.841846274778883,3.490240320733105,883,43,125,18,18,286,120,194,0.105,0.8590000000000001,0.036000000000000004,-0.8809,1,1,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,1,1,10,9,0,0,6,0,15,13,3,0,1,28,26,14,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,1,9,0,0,1,8,12,1,0,4,0,0,1,3,6,0,2,6,0,12,2,19,17,7,25,0,3,0,0,5,8,0,6,16,89,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10196014935334337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2674488157869591,0.1306368254386462,0.0,0.0,0.1191934714272286,0.0,0.0,0.19607627022259225,0.0,0.15544326313857385,0.0,0.10849145501654896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13919485549131894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40462811296186135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21962777768920727,0.1294078430700594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115744080369584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13046234125597958,0.10650826563022328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11532929109183156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2494351275366329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10844978133726928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06661247199396257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127461098895146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26169957737916083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17091851884311374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13276960543871044,0.14013919447737933,0.1039279326134272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062289110006756784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083942878736339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14515738185571936,0.0,0.1357812685987712,0.0,0.09696801690270254,0.2713338418209366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08839109855742172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08167851947508442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13300827874505067,0.14403651244912472,0.0,0.10546770948684596,0.0,0.1275901336136896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09024378029571704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08169560616611761,0.0,0.0,0.07434514179054091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08656281086060018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10120202234045587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12948046481399458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,baesics,2020/03/28,"I am struggling. I have not yet been diagnosed with being bipolar, however my family has a history of it and I got into it almost to a T. Recently I’ve been learning more and more about it and trying to begin therapy. 

I found out that hypersexuality can be a part of mania and I believe I may have this issue. I’m otherwise not very sexual, but get these random bursts where I am overly sexual and seek instant gratification. During these periods I am more interested in taboo or forbidden sex and the other day ended up cheating on my boyfriend with a stranger over text. I feel disgusting now. I’ve self harmed, I contemplated suicide and have a few panic attacks. I can’t eat, I don’t want to do anything but cry and be in bed. I can’t even sleep because I feel so horrid. I told my boyfriend, now ex, and he of course and rightfully so, reacted strongly. He left me and told everyone what I did. His friends hate me, he told them I was suicidal and they told him to just let me kill myself.

I have him blocked now, I told him about the things I discovered like hypersexuality and left it at that. I told him none of this was his fault. 

I am so lost, I want to admit myself because I feel so down. I can’t stop checking my phone, I have no restraint and am on the verge of really losing myself to these feelings.",3.5818181818181856,4.942607484848487,5.470121212121214,79.35518181818183,72.63636363636363,8.764848484848486,27.97272727272728,9.255337874911486,2.369880909090909,1032,39,207,23,20,356,144,264,0.268,0.6559999999999999,0.076,-0.9967,1,0,0,0,0,2,28.0,0,0,2,3,13,15,5,2,8,0,27,5,1,1,0,40,47,21,3,2,6,1,4,1,1,1,2,0,1,1,14,18,1,3,7,0,1,0,8,11,0,0,14,4,44,4,26,28,6,26,0,2,0,1,22,16,0,4,11,156,58,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11093606492462284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09116734714293824,0.0,0.0,0.12603494239819305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350680994108653,0.0,0.0,0.12481775935920456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12169309704927615,0.07144773336836202,0.0,0.0,0.11244534539107337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11336162225588335,0.0,0.0,0.09812341473045147,0.0,0.0,0.07317303489042208,0.0,0.0,0.10586066464046197,0.0,0.0,0.1044390765325428,0.0,0.2240666970484878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214710091295474,0.08559290308656113,0.0,0.05788105452510488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08860559598046734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10937812939257206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11563168512141793,0.0,0.0,0.12256817197145173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24073838528008146,0.1132860775574442,0.0,0.054124389392847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12394107194704715,0.12093588490104715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12998337068154747,0.0,0.11997032186704708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07097227737916245,0.0,0.10938770015678703,0.0,0.0,0.09461054395010073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11557384381456967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11086589732368332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09262196393421676,0.0,0.11581746546129927,0.0,0.2423635627511821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266933192484081,0.0,0.07360122198625607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6351639878427718,0.0,0.07521634650824628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09140996092751318,0.13068877548502886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,saltybutnotverysweet,2020/03/28,"Help Uhh basically i just randomly realized that i’ve been holding onto this burst of productivity and wanting to do a bunch of crap. 

like i watch cooking videos and i wanna make everything i see perfectly like i wanna do things i’ve never done and i have so much self confidence and i got accepted into a medicine program in partnership at Stanford and i’m just so excited and i’m planning out my career as a doctor for my family. 

anyway this has happened in the past before and it’s always ended in painful depression so just please help...",4.050761904761902,6.190521885714282,5.8171428571428585,74.13619047619048,73.0,9.23809523809524,30.714285714285715,9.725611199111238,3.421857142857143,438,20,75,12,9,150,72,105,0.083,0.7090000000000001,0.209,0.9195,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,2,7,8,1,0,4,0,6,4,1,1,2,22,13,11,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,5,9,1,1,2,2,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,2,9,5,14,10,2,10,0,1,2,0,3,7,1,1,5,55,14,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19477862189868891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1991902696064951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2016182576052437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23959733082718465,0.0,0.2395516416028285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2073310537258476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21038174595458806,0.0,0.2206758075748728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872202636965088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20700181431385795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31380633473769404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287255639423756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15625447753959962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1720804249225798,0.0,0.18054184858591207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2490844145164902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22346193882220652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25695655235834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18653653900178596,0.0,0.2442031485252105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15551659052877198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13807021293482802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,skadooskadoo,2020/03/28,"Probably hypomanic and under shutdown /: I live in the Bay Area so I’m almost two weeks into a “shelter in place” shutdown. And I live alone, so basically I’ve just been in my room doing nothing for two weeks. I also recently turned 21, and just finished finals at school, so I wanted to blow off steam....and a day of celebration turned into 2 weeks.....anyway I’ve essentially been wasting quarantine by drinking and smoking weed in bed. I’d say like 30% drinking and 70% smoking. 

And I mean like, I literally have not been sober really at all for two weeks. Even sleeping, pretty quickly I started sleeping in like 3 hour chunks and smoking in between, and then sleeping less and less and waking up with immediate racing thoughts, and tmi but I have a super high sex drive, talking all day on the phone, etc. Then today it finally hit me whats probably happening.....

Anyway I’m stressed to become fully hypomanic because what can I possibly do while hypomanic trapped in my bedroom? I can essentially only go to the grocery store or do outside recreation......no parties or shopping or even my own job just to be chatty with people. 

I’m sorry for the ramble I guess I’m just wondering if anyone has advice or if anyone relates. What a shitty time to be unmedicated lol",4.252112970711295,6.325160016736405,5.857110878661093,74.3542855648536,72.26359832635983,7.959916317991632,31.6152719665272,8.697196308434329,2.9133328870292883,1000,47,168,19,20,340,141,239,0.085,0.831,0.084,0.1901,1,3,2,0,1,0,42.0,0,0,0,1,12,5,0,1,8,1,13,7,4,0,2,35,28,25,0,3,12,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,3,0,4,15,2,0,3,3,2,2,1,1,0,3,4,1,15,4,28,21,6,38,0,0,0,1,3,19,0,9,20,111,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088121796123208,0.0,0.0,0.11150324445867264,0.11532740154643872,0.0,0.0890483947304607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15572023559817366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06787932904151196,0.1229798677430768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14362604415802194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21816572506806314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12418725005898125,0.14709428899814486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24396200536850005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06328407866736345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12266711331599553,0.0,0.09846847186318072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11764981947551675,0.0,0.0,0.10965958608887824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11049997661599148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632033286672177,0.0,0.19665224337493084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212952996319977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10684553581917317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08468844249587887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.077197664822195,0.0,0.11633945422150095,0.0,0.0,0.12553298817712172,0.0,0.11328532180257525,0.2401132275588441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07133513524005483,0.0,0.10994696341213923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08855181896137068,0.0,0.11269447323936364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3342981543417529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12464978421410725,0.0788157316432812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12755368436225994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08950076144408815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0884012886735992,0.0649304220761135,0.0,0.10554896108886656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24223865533498906,0.3263250533193734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06567847205871719,0.0,0.2679602971371903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120756820261624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,pokemonsunisbest,2020/03/28,Sleep Paralysis I started developing a fun new thing. Not sure if this is related to my insomnia or bipolar disorder or what. Has anyone else experienced this due to their bipolar disorder? This is driving me crazy and making me want to sleep even less. I'm on a new med rexulti but the first time it happened was before my med change. Last night was so intense compared to the first time.,3.650444015444013,6.111664932432432,4.797722007722007,79.49418918918923,75.35135135135134,8.552895752895754,30.841698841698843,9.23628265651192,3.1388942084942077,311,15,56,8,7,102,54,74,0.091,0.8370000000000001,0.07200000000000001,-0.1202,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,2,2,2,0,0,4,0,5,5,2,1,1,9,10,6,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,2,1,6,2,5,8,1,12,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,3,10,37,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12429271308199913,0.1821343506167125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15125919234911098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18804467614222145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4074527475214712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484942222894395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174076586014458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30240218149919396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15719104808568332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14489671234681056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118655023261244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3948987228871653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3433600830998904,0.0,0.16681409151507876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35577328295906824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258182160058469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1675350625739638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11809469371541237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.207304549479994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10484643118988417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lnels2278,2020/03/28,"Diagnosed as Bipolar on Tuesday. Not sure what to think or feel. I was just diagnosed as bipolar on Tuesday. Type 2. I’m not sure how to react or how to feel. I’m scared, nervous, anxious, and... honestly scared. Any advice on how to manage this? Thanks in advance.",0.5051470588235283,2.9621668431372576,2.3982107843137257,89.22319852941177,96.25490196078432,4.9029411764705895,25.98284313725491,6.6274283507984215,1.435801960784314,203,10,38,3,8,67,32,51,0.23,0.664,0.106,-0.665,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,4,7,0,3,0,0,1,4,0,4,2,15,7,8,0,0,5,0,2,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,1,2,1,4,10,6,0,7,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,2,2,23,3,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394256326123909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16661846991497214,0.0,0.0,0.2767969899540899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.497369740896713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24777369544954905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4906051277312793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4618471098239749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22557671447814925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.156995594344478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,golgigoat,2020/03/28,"Latuda max dose So I was on Latuda 40 to 60mg for a month and had to stop because I didn’t have enough food during this pandemic to keep me from getting sick off of it. After my phone appointment with my doctor, she says I am extremely unwell and that she wants to up the dose to 160 right away and is thinking of even doing 180mg. I’m not sure what to think about this, especially when access to food is so uncertain and when sick symptoms are something to be worried about right now. Personally I would like a medication I don’t HAVE to eat with, but this is the one she has chosen for me. I’m supposed to start at 80 in a week and then jump to 120 two weeks after that as my doctor is extremely worried about psychosis(I’ve been down this road quite a few times and right now there is no hospital psychiatric priority with covid 19). I’m nervous to take it because I am nervous for that sick feeling it gives me. It also wasn’t doing enough at 60mg so I’m not sure what 160mg would look like.

Has anyone else taken the max Latuda dose or over it and how did it feel?",6.574794129637178,5.046253695067269,7.026677537708928,80.79271096616391,65.86098654708519,10.082185079494497,31.035059111292306,8.841846274778883,2.1815058295964134,846,24,183,11,11,278,122,223,0.129,0.841,0.03,-0.9581,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,14,7,0,3,7,0,24,13,0,1,2,27,40,18,0,3,4,0,2,2,0,2,10,1,0,1,15,10,3,2,4,0,0,1,6,3,0,2,7,4,15,4,36,30,3,27,0,0,1,0,7,13,0,2,15,126,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10696127146658924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09352237310438552,0.1370445319852631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12566422520175402,0.0,0.0,0.16306771980686852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27380128334135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13686148939316026,0.11173247181141308,0.0,0.0,0.2764027407925617,0.0,0.08834180685872374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352578644836327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3234664310638534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06987979858008289,0.12830692054949047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11888475128790987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13068875334334695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11231783134508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13474087381098718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10675941601312024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09063368571998594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11678691853196145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422615102232506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.342669936252676,0.0,0.10636480506422297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029686752925605,0.0,0.0,0.09467021717406802,0.0,0.0,0.11182249938116587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2521189897877931,0.13901933977675726,0.1005647129941582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1714055140990264,0.0,0.0,0.07799175406974196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13065608021381164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07889028096067624,0.0,0.21457526304367885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2716629042704653,0.0,0.19002689185563654,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,euphyacine,2020/03/28,"Medication and Mood/Feelings Reposting this from r/bipolar for more opinions and insight. 

So I’m on 300mg Lamotrigine, 60mg Latuda, and 40mg Vyvanse. When I first started Latuda at 40mg I never had felt happier. I never knew that feeling before and was so happy. I would cry from the feeling of happiness. 

Unfortunately I had a psychotic episode so my doctor upped it to 60mg. It’s a completely different feeling now. I feel slightly numb. 80mg made me feel suicidal and REALLY numb, so we went back down 60mg. 

I’m going through a slight mixed episode rn due to the quarantine fucking with me. The only thing keeping me together is the Latuda or it’d be so much worse. 

I want that feeling back that I had on the 40mg, but I know going back down I’ll end up having another psychotic episode at some point. 

My question is: is this what “normal” is supposed to feel like? Am I just not on a good combination of meds, or overmedicated? Anyone that’s stable or doing well, do you feel this way or do you feel better than this and not so numb? I’m just confused on how I feel. I just don’t know if this feeling is considered normal or if I should be feeling better than this? I’m going to talk to my doctor about this next week, but I just wanted to know if anyone that’s stable feels this too or is happier.",3.150769092542678,4.663927879245286,5.005390835579514,81.65232704402517,73.98113207547169,7.9155435759209345,27.71338724168913,8.563005593585519,2.06271608265948,1028,40,204,19,21,352,131,265,0.134,0.768,0.098,-0.3307,1,1,0,0,0,0,28.0,1,2,0,3,19,12,1,1,9,0,21,7,0,2,2,59,53,25,1,9,17,0,14,1,0,2,6,0,0,0,18,8,0,1,20,0,0,4,5,5,1,1,8,14,23,7,26,40,3,29,0,0,0,1,5,11,1,13,14,139,41,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10069295192355088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13428898192976113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22151710008669345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08171212311810824,0.0,0.0,0.16985661080605766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10068275215773426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054814329191165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003280453927893,0.0,0.19657593349311506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08505164746110246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.679759731367115,0.06860189171622283,0.0922012259772292,0.0,0.0,0.08168073590137705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08877565189988541,0.0,0.0,0.16372350961244292,0.08054310733984728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2044456017744424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08535343836713248,0.0,0.0,0.1583222076484469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04691406733381094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09086331258523267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10666463493096064,0.09673735902856058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07059108306479106,0.0,0.14812428125898636,0.0,0.1021260774159307,0.0,0.18817264703749176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07303305623898038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907767967871937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10757250491131376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06151751986766929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06796858688126482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10503823349990482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07718307187306862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06379624274468615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11327872852988205,0.07622196704822032,0.07702727343457218,0.0,0.08634003661438593,0.08901822946136333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09785997890405426,0.06821500834374576,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kiwiascendent,2020/03/29,"Thoughts that I (21F) will never be mentally stable enough to achieve the life I want. I'm currently taking lamotrigine for my bipolar disorder, and am seeing a therapist every week. I thought I was doing so well, I had a break through when I finally spoke about the molestation I endured when I was about 5 years old. I finally came clean about several sexual assaults that I never spoke about. I realized how much shame I was carrying on my shoulders and I felt so relieved. Lately, I've been feeling very down for no apparent reason. I don't know what could be triggering me to feel so helpless. I procrastinate my college assignments yet I am doing well with a 3.5 GPA. I am happily engaged, we also attend couples counseling. I'm just at a loss here, what can I do to not feel like I would be better off dead? I meditate daily, hell I am doing the best I ever have yet this feeling is getting worse..",4.544483516483517,6.0246749999999984,6.0451428571428565,75.69839560439561,70.42857142857143,9.727472527472527,32.89010989010989,10.035473477838034,3.6047406593406586,715,34,128,19,13,243,114,175,0.182,0.66,0.158,-0.7564,2,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,1,0,0,4,18,13,3,1,7,0,23,3,1,3,3,25,40,9,1,3,2,0,5,1,0,2,2,2,1,0,5,5,0,0,10,0,0,2,5,6,2,0,11,8,27,7,15,23,3,21,1,2,1,0,3,4,1,0,15,100,32,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12367180425898625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16229334408001975,0.13677342778464438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17687590525347696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1234736989425008,0.17111486927517386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17723979759712352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1597925360611601,0.0,0.0,0.1398878052228838,0.130297456651933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3127783339062753,0.11048043214817484,0.14848615738896515,0.3388182511979887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08079710210207149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08499039643594908,0.0,0.17444947479758047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10923232740082532,0.07555311235888734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15584862708618374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11368394030687565,0.0,0.2385478621030605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16227687052909698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15900371356084833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232342887023381,0.0,0.0,0.174708015697616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11627591305007558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1795580362894776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455461864792885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127600645959262,0.09121528990007148,0.0,0.1240491514643573,0.0,0.2780939218499965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15759933857296946,0.10985737291302984,0.0,0.0,0.09958812452620963
bipolarreddit,NoRaccoon0,2020/03/29,"Ongoing depression I have been in a severe depressive episode for over a year now. Before that I was moderately depressed for a very long time. In the 17 years since my diagnosis, I have had constant mild to moderate depression, with 3 episodes of disabling severe depression, 1 period of mania, and 1 period of hypomania. 

I have been through an uncountable number of medication changes. Last May I took FMLA from my job, moved out of my apartment and into my mother's house, and had 21 sessions of ECT over the course of the summer. The ECT didn't work, but I attempted to return to my job anyway. I quit after 2 months. 

I am on a new antidepressant, and not at my max dosage yet, but of course I am despondent. Ketamine is enormously expensive, but he nearest clinic is 2 hours away, and all the studies show an antidepressant effect lasts an average of 8 days. I wonder if people who report longer periods of reprieve are suffering from an endogenous disease in the first place.

All I feel is sadness, and I can't stop thinking about my disease for even a fraction of a second. I see no end. The only thing that has kept me from a suicide attempt is love for my mother, but I wonder if my ongoing illness, my constant sobbing, is just as hard on her as my suicide would be. And I resent living for someone else when I am in never-ending pain. Why should I continue to live like this?",5.764732419283504,6.4908246992481216,6.837164971251661,73.91263379035827,67.04511278195488,10.018222025652367,33.6921716054843,10.056822442137396,3.503067934542237,1094,48,195,25,17,368,161,266,0.21100000000000002,0.745,0.045,-0.9926,2,0,0,0,0,2,31.0,0,0,0,6,7,12,1,0,18,0,24,5,0,1,2,30,32,16,2,4,8,2,2,1,0,3,4,0,0,0,5,10,0,2,5,1,1,2,4,10,0,2,8,3,30,2,41,20,2,43,0,8,1,1,6,16,1,5,26,143,35,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10574904695204944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957759419048868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11906817495199,0.0,0.0,0.2432637527226077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07258860820950347,0.0,0.484716913268706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09402518806512916,0.0,0.1993804917876194,0.0,0.0,0.07434145928432195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056911146505497126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09573915250165643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10082709506586204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11084391800506617,0.1298732590501139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2233867696282855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1834945551197608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05498864569937086,0.0,0.1987761026427392,0.09960755715151404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10158520448347806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133872346574526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08984025866088141,0.11962806112450315,0.0,0.0,0.0868092886049357,0.10870623748780543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08560308415154612,0.11976636439758208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07803140550611483,0.0,0.117595929224377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11971600588723486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08969169406652154,0.0,0.0,0.2543100310785876,0.0,0.09310658811897048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09536741352906937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09410094812878672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2462336154192863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07477648365632844,0.07212064423743852,0.0,0.0,0.06563167560021463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250526510848632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928695919015883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10156330324924416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2441220063111199,0.08194131804461632,0.0,0.0,0.07995578167426302,0.0,0.0,0.14496334894646862
bipolarreddit,sunsetsands36,2020/03/29,Lamotrigine Does anyone feel more tired on lamotrigine? I’m on 100 mg now and feel more lethargic than normal.....upped my dose a week ago so maybe I’m just getting used to it,2.974190476190476,4.846555942857143,4.131428571428572,86.22190476190477,75.28571428571428,6.9523809523809526,23.095238095238088,7.793537801064563,0.9542380952380952,138,4,29,2,3,45,29,35,0.16399999999999998,0.836,0.0,-0.6894,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,5,6,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,4,6,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,13,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3130953848595797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2469695140574215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3090925333101702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3571826500454885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18453530770108614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.354842421813926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3460664198203197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4059577899557564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30505616704609706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2833201654511681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Angrbodas_Babies,2020/03/29,"I can't seem to get out of this depressive streak. Holy shit what an awful year. I had a major manic episode last spring/early summer, and since then I've been really stuck in this depressive cycle. I'll start to pick up, get to feeling stable again, and then around two weeks later I get hammered back down. 

This is the longest I've stayed medicated, and the longest I've gone without at least a short hypo episode. I feel like my episodes are shorter, but also much more depressive than I'm used to. This has been a terrible year for most people, and the quarantine isn't helping, I get that. So how can you tell what's caused by life and what's caused by the bipolar disorder? How much of this is the meds, like should I have them adjusted, or would that not really help because life is just plain miserable right now?",5.597222222222222,6.001110820987655,5.660098765432099,83.33644444444444,67.33333333333334,9.196049382716053,29.162962962962965,9.120678840339163,2.1845659259259254,651,21,131,11,10,205,107,162,0.19,0.763,0.047,-0.975,0,1,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,1,0,9,8,1,1,9,1,14,5,1,6,0,25,26,13,0,2,5,0,2,2,0,2,4,0,0,0,10,7,0,0,4,0,0,1,4,6,0,1,5,2,9,2,17,19,6,22,0,4,0,0,5,8,1,3,14,83,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12113308862099866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13484329035434858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11647356525066388,0.0,0.09233667608728667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3112094682434685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3913910173806649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17360144649090625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15317883436249846,0.10821250695320613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31655404683040983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2030586285063521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12347090065386067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2139800462134954,0.14800433954688372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1682526131622437,0.15259334509047384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22270050798545651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105012466564345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19407526177153314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12935731218943464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378955411531879,0.0,0.0,0.15548509555510245,0.12530022249820222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10721353298700882,0.16145031077914976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323942809109583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14796733739609347,0.0,0.0,0.13082423817971495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12150268970139835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14601478997122105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076022377815128,0.0,0.0,0.19508758986923008
bipolarreddit,youreacomplexman,2020/03/29,"Does anyone else feel like this? Does anyone else feel this overwhelming guilt for stuff you've done when you're manic? I shoplifted, I've broken things, almost killed myself, I can't connect with anyone when manic. It feels horrible to be consistently dealing with the aftermath of something you can't control",5.907272727272726,8.77057063636364,5.219999999999999,77.23000000000002,69.9090909090909,7.309090909090909,27.363636363636363,8.238735603445708,2.2345636363636356,255,9,38,4,5,77,39,55,0.226,0.732,0.043,-0.8949,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,1,2,4,1,2,1,0,4,0,0,1,0,7,7,2,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,3,4,1,5,5,0,3,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,21,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19851789656471086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4158612662831744,0.40625938455008415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22235329024755293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20438617872089687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3469783515362835,0.20287772117157912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33122346856746915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3007221958329661,0.14162923941370684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21933332232477387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09685452555413747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526218888353438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269478573400253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317079327018826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ValhSad,2020/03/29,Bipolar dating I would like to date a girl who is bipolar so we could be bipolar together what a fun relationship that be,9.802499999999998,6.975784250000004,9.995,66.15000000000003,60.66666666666666,12.933333333333335,44.83333333333333,11.20814326018867,4.999883333333333,98,5,18,2,1,33,20,24,0.0,0.7659999999999999,0.23399999999999999,0.7003,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,5,3,0,0,0,3,5,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,14,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5016193393007741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3069390698437808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6745226437306084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44630219463672827,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,gchopeful,2020/03/29,"Vraylar and Trouble Thinking Trying to figure out what's causing this change. The biggest issue is that I feel very ""flat."" I want to participate in conversations and I have a hard time thinking of things to say. I used to love to debate and learn new things. I don't know if this is due to the Vraylar, bipolar, or something else. Working with a doctor but I would love to hear your experience.",3.33436090225564,5.612387473684212,4.1706015037594,84.49921052631579,75.57894736842105,5.9218045112781965,27.962406015037594,6.868970318607317,1.4271563909774434,312,13,58,3,7,100,55,76,0.040999999999999995,0.8270000000000001,0.131,0.8243,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,1,0,3,0,0,4,0,5,4,0,2,0,18,14,6,0,3,3,0,2,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,6,5,0,0,6,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,7,2,11,13,0,6,0,0,0,2,6,3,0,2,3,39,13,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22400608366410452,0.2306769147899513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2231920520938729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18215984501445864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21330299533269914,0.0,0.0,0.11025689860737707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19533753017046185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24576770859262506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275963568021609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198392152731038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3936125092704867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.210602199052952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1734088228012587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16787203960094435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2897366749030661,0.2794460856070752,0.0,0.0,0.12715162927505178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14804736624974535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18833247849677545,0.0,0.17992104898137767,0.12861651693519566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15874914054889822,0.0,0.0,0.15490245855934878,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Shadowsuccubus,2020/03/29,"out of sync any one else feel sooo depressed, lost , mad & sad one min and then happy, motivated, silly,positive the next min. like in one day all these feelings come and go suddenly",2.3232857142857126,5.009179542857146,3.3310714285714305,86.76517857142859,82.14285714285714,6.928571428571428,23.035714285714285,8.07648339933343,1.4834285714285715,144,5,28,3,4,46,31,35,0.247,0.561,0.191,-0.4019,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,2,1,6,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,8,5,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,4,0,3,1,2,0,2,3,4,1,10,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,7,13,1,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2959139766469752,0.0,0.18572379237393694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2352596097440139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17613300246644634,0.0,0.2352287704260124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281479021279165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2761846894457651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15521439512379626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29073008962112656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13342748273448515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2981312283727433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.290455000079139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5551980974887066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,CATastrophiCat420,2020/03/30,"What do you struggle with most? I have type 1. And I just want to know what others struggle with. I've always been interested in learning more about bipolar and hearing from others with it. And knowing what we all go through. I struggle more with my manic episodes, than I do my depressive episodes. I hate the lost of control I feel. And the not being able to sleep. My depressive episodes can be quite difficult, but I also can sleep through that. I don't like being mean or nasty to people and I have a harder time controlling it when manic. I feel quite crazy when manic and I hate that feeling. So that is my struggle. I would like to hear also other ways people handle it, cuz everyone handles it differently I believe. So if you feel comfortable sharing, I would like to know. :)",2.386964705882356,5.070957053333334,3.2698431372549064,87.33511764705881,81.8,5.662745098039216,26.15686274509804,7.048011613610866,1.3952274509803928,618,26,114,8,17,196,83,150,0.23,0.67,0.1,-0.9583,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,2,0,5,8,16,2,4,3,0,14,3,2,3,1,33,29,16,0,4,5,0,4,3,0,2,1,2,0,0,13,11,0,2,9,0,0,1,2,10,0,0,2,6,21,6,16,22,4,6,0,3,0,0,6,1,0,3,6,89,34,2,0.12177187008698613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1947618410271958,0.1013239508534978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13719519790401533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27315501354967325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.209763866543704,0.0,0.0,0.12722568641952128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11635824028696402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24628606540515804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0692057600042816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404490224055333,0.0,0.0,0.27449149539595874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2007679055708516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1784747543692717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13292838092813306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326452651717049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1688425644199516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25903874606655364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24371962455048365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5092095924900178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0710061567111605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07182420397766794,0.09665684246105054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1730064854083198,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,thatCDgirl,2020/03/30,"Olanzapine Drag I don’t know if anyone else here is on Olanzapine for sleep (I also have physiopsychological insomnia). My bpd meds are very activating so psych gave me Olanzapine to help me sleep. I’m on the same dose as when I started but it seems like the past two weeks it lingers for a long time and I wind up feeling sleepy all day. 

Anyone else experience this?",2.444542253521128,5.1301551971830985,4.158573943661973,81.05504401408452,81.53521126760563,7.493661971830987,22.959507042253517,8.472884824447931,1.6260830985915495,293,10,59,7,8,98,57,71,0.021,0.88,0.099,0.6597,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,3,0,4,4,2,0,1,8,10,7,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,7,1,7,9,2,10,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,2,8,34,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16099666294645565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.281537228834132,0.4125551617358634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2535572747698056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12983565785567186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33635641868777505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969309745509148,0.0,0.0,0.1017941565229562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349415008903667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106409847472561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09835547429652408,0.0,0.0,0.17816311717724995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2236227075485167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19218407073742064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18327545523354516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4029336141026915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14249633382679167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11739213614800068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1966617694392192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16611125156897358,0.0,0.0,0.16148789569915076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jojo2352019,2020/03/30,"I’m bipolar and I’m not ashamed So on the 21 of December 2017 I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder type 2. It was after a huge meltdown that left me with mental and physical scars. I’m healthier now, it took meds, therapy, and hard work to get into this state. I’m thankful to my family, friends, therapist, psychiatrist, and most importantly God! 

After getting diagnosed I struggled, you see my society and especially my community look down and frown upon mental health (depression, bipolar... you get the picture), so the only members of my family that know are my parents and brothers. 

I’m not ashamed of being bipolar, it doesn’t define me but it is a part of who I am.
And I’m not ashamed of who I am.

After learning about my illness I started working on myself. learning about my emotions, reality, fears, and myself. I realized that I lost myself along the way. I learned that I held on to things for years that I should have never paid attention to in the first place. I learned that I let moments pass me by, I missed out on precious memories and I let go of beautiful dreams. 

But I have decided “not anymore “ I’m going to live the way I always was meant to be.
A life filled with love, compassion, honesty, loyalty and happiness. 

To do that, to achieve it I have to be comfortable with who I am, proud of me, and I will always love me. 

So I’m not ashamed of myself, on the other hand I’m actually proud of who I used to be, who I am, and who I will be.",3.399252294268088,4.997683882352945,5.234310215134649,79.91521438242816,73.49826989619378,8.763111177975025,31.59635925981646,9.318704503766252,3.0014406800060183,1138,55,221,27,23,390,140,289,0.055,0.696,0.249,0.9967,1,0,0,0,0,0,45.0,0,2,0,7,6,18,0,6,10,0,24,12,1,1,1,41,52,18,0,1,7,2,2,0,1,3,9,0,0,0,21,20,0,1,9,1,1,5,7,9,0,1,8,4,40,9,41,34,2,30,0,3,2,2,13,13,0,1,9,164,61,8,0.0,0.0,0.12558870039044995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2141707103976995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12763181886071248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11084564886931282,0.261247397479519,0.0,0.0,0.1474967293044964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14476564227179106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2426462104269291,0.14481874388450788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10946872484477574,0.0,0.0,0.09943018582188434,0.0,0.2017149950333232,0.0,0.14628176910669705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13699925128853865,0.11528630908313015,0.0,0.0,0.13679779614957793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07072793845708196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398285460574427,0.26320069389812845,0.09090176836334378,0.0,0.0,0.11364089777971682,0.0,0.10807220041789446,0.0,0.1404868520008538,0.0,0.2323062719342484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14295220829087724,0.0,0.2593905327522369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09925826456527301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09787908311270724,0.0,0.0,0.14290164259498445,0.13936519227871216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13445989527540808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10255402436803457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09109166871827823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13454096890008088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11848595671129715,0.14717505565293065,0.14942593837325527,0.0854998827579225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14298595605890488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11115199576560653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2043057385771796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1873843952877934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08287598408667565
bipolarreddit,Genderflux-Capacitor,2020/03/30,In a bad place- TW for self harm I've started self injuring again. It's not making the pain go away. Usually the feelings don't last this long. I still want to do it.,-0.8216666666666654,1.3226468333333372,1.312444444444445,98.47700000000002,94.55555555555556,5.102222222222223,18.31111111111111,6.742157984588678,0.029117777777777576,130,4,31,2,5,43,31,36,0.184,0.71,0.105,-0.6121,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,3,0,2,2,0,1,0,4,7,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,4,7,0,10,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,6,16,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573494099249882,0.0,0.2287051402687469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13849817462643713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15567054382001672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2232748986661364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2424035657610708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828384361922029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2914617587102664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2861798178587517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5715000618557783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19387637562004267,0.0,0.21874653592575372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30167545123257505,0.0,0.1615604379166075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,CREST_BD,2020/03/30,"In honor of World Bipolar Day, ask bipolar experts and scientists anything over at r/IAMA! Hello! We’re CREST.BD, a team of professors, doctors, researchers and people living with bipolar disorder (with overlap between these groups!). Our research focuses on psychosocial issues in bipolar disorder. We’re hosting an AMA over at r/IAMA in honor of World Bipolar Day 2020, and welcome you to submit your questions. We’ll continue to answer questions over the next few days.

Here’s the link to the AMA: [https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/frv7op/we\_are\_bipolar\_disorder\_experts\_and\_scientists/](https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/frv7op/we_are_bipolar_disorder_experts_and_scientists/)

Hope to see you there. :)",15.478629032258064,20.47371507526882,9.879233870967745,44.93885080645165,48.78494623655914,8.090860215053763,38.506720430107535,8.841846274778883,4.1452591397849465,614,25,59,8,8,165,62,93,0.053,0.7879999999999999,0.159,0.8951,0,0,0,0,0,0,53.0,2,3,0,3,2,4,0,0,5,0,1,6,0,0,0,10,4,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,4,19,3,1,17,0,0,1,0,12,12,0,3,5,36,6,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17658109867694186,0.0,0.2006033816313991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41515914364762185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4918546578837466,0.2196317748696177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21312640784309134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22396582373503632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18947811643895385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22820831873723185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14876278930728815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4807575324406638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17099251897988818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,dogs_eat_cats,2020/03/30,"Seroquel, but not enough sleep? Hello! First post here :>

I was recently prescribed Seroquel because I was having a hard time sleeping during my manic episodes. I take it about an hour before I go to bed. I *do* get sleepy and I make sure I fall asleep during that window/period of sleepiness. The maximum number of hours I can get is about 6. Whenever I wake up, I feel extremely groggy, and that lasts for half of the entire day. It's seriously impeding my everyday life. 

I've been researching this online, but everyone else's experience seems to be the opposite (too much sleep), and so I was wondering if anyone else has had the same problem and what they've done in the past.

I used to have a psychiatrist, but I now have to find a new one, because I've been forced back to Korea as my college campus kicked all its students out. I *will* have a psychiatrist very soon (so I am not relying solely on reddit for advice, as some may rightfully be concerned about). I just would also like to get some sleep in the next few weeks before I can find a Korean and English bilingual psychiatrist in my (relatively) small city. (Seroquel and lamictal are ""high level drugs"" here and thus can only be prescribed by university hospitals). 

Sorry for the rant, I am slightly manic at the moment.

Please share any info/advice that you might have! Thanks so much",4.951702786377705,6.551678333333335,5.840288957688338,77.09498452012384,69.58823529411765,8.976264189886482,28.323013415892678,9.414487439383343,2.610607843137255,1065,38,190,23,19,350,161,255,0.064,0.8640000000000001,0.07200000000000001,0.4738,0,0,1,0,0,0,43.0,0,1,0,1,14,6,0,0,14,0,28,8,6,3,2,32,39,17,0,3,7,0,2,1,0,4,2,0,1,0,8,8,0,0,5,0,0,2,2,2,0,3,7,2,23,4,25,25,8,30,0,0,0,0,3,11,0,7,17,133,31,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2315248982224243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947362721723558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08056013858694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08283335520547919,0.12138120558845862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09109213266241048,0.0,0.1444301070315387,0.0,0.20160966958186685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07640000727457674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12123063894323192,0.0,0.0,0.13738157881545102,0.0,0.19792430876857148,0.0,0.0,0.12240582465910838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11319821031865213,0.0,0.1158813236422641,0.0,0.0,0.059899371461639775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21654939500268613,0.10076611369207568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185678933884963,0.0,0.06732628610493427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061212080864471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12516458441050907,0.0,0.0,0.2333279656633761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09656463797689642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08367520439011092,0.05787592619665403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07907618592434171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256724510818121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1741705439662566,0.0,0.0,0.11441405944704244,0.12598867792088414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08027482658556828,0.0900978323351857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11308807337594813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13003879587141082,0.0,0.0,0.11345654896516925,0.0,0.0,0.1133548318243004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169697160949886,0.0,0.0,0.10116830731036344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10784592110019127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4742014875888324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13261166491857754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11165168901258103,0.0,0.0890708000243372,0.0,0.0,0.1090664881847732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06907778805769388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023155669192281,0.0,0.0977458815078837,0.0,0.0,0.09502533132990353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12847004177448884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08415400780143914,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,dootdootoops,2020/03/30,"So, can I be hypomanic without the high mood? I’ve been really stable for a while.  We’ve touched my meds a little, but most recently because of weight gain exasperated by Seroquel.  ^(It made me hypomanic for a month and I spent a lot of money, oop.)

So now I’m hitting Wicca hard.  I’ve always teetered on agnostic, but just really liked Wicca and witchcraft, so I practice.  However, I’ve only ever thrown myself into Wicca when I’m hypomanic.  I’m ready to throw money at this, but I know I can’t as I just spent money on crystals and we’re saving for a house/apartment together.

So I’m freaked out because this is how I act when I’m hypomanic, but my moods just not there?  My mood feels stable/normal if not more on the low side.  Normally I can feel when my mood is doing a thing, but I’m not getting that feeling???

Like brain wtf?",1.7117124956491452,3.9073563076923072,4.136762965541248,83.11038635572575,80.59763313609467,6.816707274625827,24.14235990254089,7.928766900206844,1.5069871910894532,652,24,129,12,17,227,99,169,0.11599999999999999,0.782,0.102,-0.3165,1,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,1,14,9,0,0,8,0,8,2,1,2,1,29,23,19,0,2,13,0,6,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,5,1,0,4,0,5,2,5,2,0,0,4,6,14,3,15,17,3,20,1,1,0,0,0,10,0,3,10,80,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17738004772145113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2599010110359801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2379756400600564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1928304820139334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32336555424487234,0.15229343937662385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11137599963661972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1909644037583138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22523283200978336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11715631026726815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20829468373750465,0.21365900404025884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18123516220685665,0.0,0.20171289800578487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2367911978387405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17015556599603626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20886785259863494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621304463268978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2731328378325653,0.0,0.2104862213183892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14162509201764012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2595917262043752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20549468070440802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,shanners58,2020/03/30,"I'm not normal I've been with my bf for always a year, he knows about me being bipolar. He also suffers from depression but he is much more under control of it than I am. He takes medication, I do too but hate it. I have days where I believe I can change, take medication regularly and just do things that make me happy. Then I have days were I'm down, not wanting to do anything and even lose interest in my pets. During these days I stop taking the medication, I feel like I got this low with it then what's the point.

 I told him I don't want to take medication to be ""normal"" he said I was saying that people who are depressed aren't ""normal"" but I didn't mean that. Regardless he didn't see it that way. 

He has a good relationship with his mother, I do not. She is a narcissist and my whole life she has told me that I'm not normal. She's told me there's something wrong with me and I need to be put away. However she never did anything to help me. She'd call me stupid and that no one likes me. This hit me hard as a teen because I have a learning disability and can't retain information. I also have epilepsy. 

I've just wanted to be ok, grow up in a normal environment, in a stable house. I told him this and he told me he understands. I still know I'm not normal and I never will be.",1.5620054945054953,3.20064593772894,3.8015613553113567,88.06739697802199,78.63369963369964,6.747802197802199,21.26510989010989,7.645422480735847,0.6897571428571432,1003,27,224,15,24,346,139,273,0.135,0.7609999999999999,0.105,-0.7494,1,0,1,0,1,0,30.0,0,0,0,2,10,14,2,0,9,1,31,6,0,2,2,46,59,16,0,11,10,1,2,2,1,1,6,2,1,0,17,12,0,3,7,0,0,2,13,8,0,1,13,5,41,6,23,38,3,23,0,5,1,0,31,10,0,0,12,154,58,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13828347715496286,0.07194134214999406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14229782492617904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08123167281304655,0.0,0.0,0.052704990781800486,0.0,0.0,0.09741040090333382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08828495372501202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09146282930126387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09697183205072846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672779351298315,0.0,0.14893511323443773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057105773253604025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04371658909083252,0.06176678025590646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07251823947898195,0.06914966805242251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09203788877517438,0.07745085022651653,0.08536098940476176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057952070602343586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09976281007153258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09503190815692997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061068996855109324,0.08447962047183755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09672621563415754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057712477486321925,0.0,0.0,0.09417988862368656,0.0,0.3483959435037468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06355777962691812,0.0641087235529048,0.1333660005898106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5082725089192459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05858728601896177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059940224369956226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0817323009500005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08691581311557416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09282529097879992,0.0,0.0,0.08224291159128233,0.06875617169427976,0.0,0.0,0.06889713483435178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06656085077458747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0690467759008559,0.07228412595776047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2600275408331684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057439939456241824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41307943018127613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09000752881375365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15298839779193227,0.06862763360543066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965290944140611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945300378082746,0.0,0.05567717001195546
bipolarreddit,babybirdpigeon,2020/03/30,"when to call a doctor? I started 300mg wellbutrin today, well I felt like I was getting a cold so I took dayquil, now I feel really weird and nauseous hot/cold etc what should I do should I make myself puke I read you're not supposed to take dayquil w/wellbutrin and now I'm scared but I cant go to the hospital their only doing 1 patient at a time",-0.7509090909090901,1.4191819333333378,1.3864242424242406,97.26654545454548,96.33333333333334,3.793939393939394,20.151515151515152,5.565023196281405,-0.1492666666666662,275,10,61,2,11,91,56,75,0.094,0.851,0.055,-0.3284,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,0,5,4,0,1,4,0,6,1,0,1,0,9,15,5,0,2,2,0,2,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,1,0,2,2,2,1,0,3,3,11,2,4,10,1,9,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,7,36,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28178675940755465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28245750043019113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30776916067605753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13953403669018768,0.0,0.2649655770505549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14417809147291566,0.0,0.1568348422753683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13482047327615548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18420593002638397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2098805702963886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2760354087146829,0.0,0.17678750990232558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2762848322903969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1953264249301072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20748812508958508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609149207766228,0.0,0.26157850463008153,0.0,0.3066025247443418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24812183766132065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Don__Key,2020/03/30,"Would you call this psychosis? So basically my last manic episode I had like a 1 hour period where I thought someone was trying to communicate to me through signs. Where each separate sign had a word and I was suppose to string those words together to make a sentence. I felt very on edge where I had to be on my toes so I wouldn’t miss anything. The things was that I knew that I was crazy. That I knew that there was no way that was true but I still went along with it for the fun of it. There was a lot of back and forth in my brain. 

I’m only asking cause my mom believes I just have an overactive imagination and that I overthink things. I don’t agree with her but I wanted to get other people’s perspectives.",1.826938775510204,3.8607901632653103,2.9539795918367338,92.58566326530615,79.34013605442178,6.37687074829932,22.064625850340143,7.447530270364453,0.6529809523809522,562,17,125,8,14,180,93,147,0.036000000000000004,0.871,0.094,0.8299,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,0,10,4,0,0,7,0,15,2,2,2,1,26,26,7,0,3,3,1,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,13,7,0,0,5,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,15,1,21,3,16,8,2,13,0,1,0,0,5,6,0,1,6,90,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18105546034155692,0.0,0.2056864402786092,0.0,0.0,0.16917969399781485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2478841118865765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24561202901352905,0.22466222440444888,0.0,0.0,0.2260183351189749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2112510753022632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149499387721229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21667268444770904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1793434342402057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10748932095022204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.187050808675159,0.0,0.0,0.14686323117248706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2576815586880006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16733304247934375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15253226705199005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18641991252270412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17570607003044747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2923393856690703,0.0,0.0,0.17466913024841546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493772789166374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18153728362399327,0.12977188186587,0.17463946200202254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20395820658459465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15629395066751156,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,raleighraee,2020/03/31,Help with coping mechanisms I’m struggling bad right now. I’ve been doing so good for six years. I’ve been in lamictal 200mg for six years straight and with the help of leaving my house if I felt mood swings coming I managed to be stable. Obviously now that isn’t an option and I’m losing it. My medicine was upped today for the first time in SIX years. What are some things I can do to replace my coping mechanism with while this blows over? I’ll try anything! I am desperate,1.8715463917525736,4.183428783505157,2.9125876288659818,91.45754123711343,80.75257731958762,5.9418556701030925,22.07113402061856,7.1686216300943375,0.6856028865979379,380,12,79,5,10,121,69,97,0.11,0.757,0.133,0.3255,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,3,5,0,1,3,0,10,0,0,0,1,11,14,5,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,3,0,4,4,1,7,1,13,9,1,16,0,1,0,0,2,6,0,3,9,50,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.195810967756077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19867667970467034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20497117267269735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284674398464063,0.0,0.0,0.20239848677030425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19957953200919246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3189831196365878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27456009810840953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519526242245189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2662029992451825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2032063315580756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2487549622287072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.158082108965644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138749419423293,0.0,0.2255469255173609,0.0,0.0,0.1615511042321359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.45969222147772604
bipolarreddit,Heeeehooo621,2020/03/31,"My brain feels empty I’m not really sure what is going on with me. I spent the past two weeks drinking moderately but smoking weed heavily. I was thinking it made me hypomanic because my sleeping started to get messed up, even high out of my mind on indica I would only be able to sleep in 3 hours chunks. I have no appetite either, I’ve lost a lot of weight, etc.

I’ve been sober for the past few days since school started up again and I’m kinda experiencing something I haven’t before. It feels like my brain is empty.....I keep staring off into space, I keep finding myself standing in the middle of a room and not knowing why, I literally cannot sit down and focus on school. But it’s not racing thoughts like normal hypomania, and it’s not depressive thoughts, it’s just literally like nothing is going through my head. Or a thought will disappear halfway through. 

Has anyone else experienced this? I’m unmedicated. I’m hesitant to blame it on the smoking because I’ve smoked this heavily in the past before and never had issues with complete mind blankness like this. It’s like hypomania with every symptom besides the thought processing......anyone relate?",4.334527757750543,6.601493305936077,5.392934390771451,76.92757029560201,72.56164383561644,7.715549146839702,30.704397981254505,8.532816995589336,2.65261095890411,930,42,160,17,19,306,129,219,0.092,0.82,0.087,0.3811,0,0,3,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,1,3,9,0,0,9,0,13,8,5,1,2,39,35,8,0,2,9,0,3,5,0,2,1,0,1,0,11,10,2,2,9,1,1,3,8,3,0,1,10,6,15,6,25,22,4,32,0,2,1,0,0,17,0,3,15,95,26,2,0.10906416882614726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15252040542295264,0.11174912956956913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13296901003880618,0.0,0.18561114943089893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2435033641924257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143517059815691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07033736623929603,0.0,0.09393680879666856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068413642869022,0.0,0.0,0.0911091182457721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12163537805217375,0.07203585490099637,0.0,0.09189126613505934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11029224154021744,0.07791546400145095,0.0,0.0,0.09968267444308497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056981526754097775,0.0,0.1239673610573128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1119313022290952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11523228240320912,0.0,0.0,0.10740623698995384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11383465649385635,0.0,0.19388248889707255,0.0,0.0,0.0599388149124255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26641621922247866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11905642386025655,0.09272245616440493,0.0,0.10319915360458057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22024743962951615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08411701059145953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10685972893397848,0.10465001146558776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08294821501195666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3123422700374806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0698692992976818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2207575230202827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09021900749101182,0.0,0.2182858673290583,0.0,0.0,0.0839629255555602,0.0,0.0,0.15439236009068658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10279168839722344,0.11335943133476765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0698839155656734,0.0,0.34633906984833657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10653984529959444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08748469758308547,0.13281077557209675,0.0,0.0,0.09841344851931604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07747605633022098,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ThatFckingLoser,2020/03/31,"I don't know who to turn to rn so I'm here I have autism and bipolar type one and I just found out that the my partner cheated on me for 3 months. I broke off our relationship thinking I'd be okay because I was mostly stable for a long time, but since things have ended my emotions have been completely out of control. She was my bestfriend and the only person I was comfortable enough with to really be open about my emotions with other than my therapist and my therapist isn't taking appointments because of the pandemic. I don't know who to talk to or how to talk to them. I just want to get back to stability. I worked really hard to get there and now I'm back to square one.",3.703500000000002,4.723245207142857,4.957142857142858,84.45785714285716,71.92857142857143,8.457142857142857,26.857142857142854,8.841846274778883,1.876157142857143,539,18,113,10,10,179,84,140,0.046,0.885,0.068,0.433,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,1,0,1,2,10,4,1,0,4,1,12,1,0,2,0,22,23,9,0,1,4,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,5,10,0,1,4,0,0,0,3,2,0,2,5,2,19,2,23,16,2,12,0,1,1,0,10,5,0,2,7,83,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25181340624907805,0.0,0.1996299578983217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716792976351383,0.0,0.1836494273355864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3683731172793969,0.145025903502895,0.1691881985372425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17953352822885366,0.0,0.0,0.1710958032038118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14667975215022436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17997551600859055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14490561079568556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13069648455985167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2219102454597322,0.12453239040995505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429723041275284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20979332361895175,0.0,0.0,0.1757965294663908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354482270854151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12311283585039128,0.2632175876108671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3802317860588185,0.10878222844971323,0.10491860560647748,0.0,0.0,0.0954786796540651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17810316206976748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965786698030668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11920538039696492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,vadimuha,2020/03/31,Manic buying How do I stop myself from buying something when I have manic episode specifically because I want to buy it?,10.55090909090909,9.046383181818186,10.153636363636364,61.45045454545455,58.09090909090909,10.618181818181819,40.18181818181819,8.841846274778883,3.960218181818183,98,4,14,1,1,32,18,22,0.107,0.8290000000000001,0.063,-0.2263,0,0,1,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,3,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,2,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,11,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4298509465454712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5428564597758739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5895343022028313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4159138544936776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sunechirei,2020/03/31,"Going back on Lithum I made a post a while back about a possible manic moment I had in November, and concerns about my medicine, and I just talked to my US doctor (who has been treating me since I was 18) and we're going to try lithium again! He said that it does sound like I was hypomanic in November, so the olanzapine isn't working and he wants to try something else while I'm on break from school. I should be starting it either tonight or tomorrow night and I'm very ready to be stable again.

At least, I hope it makes me stable. Bipolar is a b\*tch.",3.8472787610619466,4.843414115044254,4.7470685840707985,86.18662057522127,71.56637168141594,7.7738938053097355,27.39933628318584,8.07648339933343,1.5735141592920363,437,15,92,6,8,142,76,113,0.0,0.878,0.122,0.8976,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,1,0,0,1,8,3,0,0,5,0,10,2,0,2,0,13,20,9,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,1,2,2,0,0,5,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,6,2,12,3,12,11,2,20,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,2,12,60,17,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33554675724747085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22332502889402725,0.19093810161783573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18226837501397872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24800294295171846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21671026980451166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10659581014505644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064550990339296,0.14564242260495575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20475499262605887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24597458919398785,0.20896413324101012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2075470922051197,0.0,0.0,0.22081826587584785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804876636650337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679720569915821,0.0,0.0,0.15443484214385078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17537153658524066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29627114438199703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2624537287320483,0.0,0.0,0.18002824511649762,0.12869314606561755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15884372255815615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,AsteroidiB612,2020/03/31,"Identity crisis!!!and existential dread Sometimes I feel like a phony. I don’t know who I am. I don’t want to be one of those people who confuse bipolar as a personality trait, but I do feel like my personality takes a hit with every swing... I don’t know what my usual mood is because it changes so imperceptibly gradual it goes almost undetected, except, according to my family and boyfriend, I become someone else. 

So who am I? Am I grouchy couch potato who likes to sit in silence and isolation because too much noise is aggravating and the world gets on my nerves all the time or am I the happy thankful girl who thinks the world is okay and that life will be just fine if I just keep on keeping on? 

Does anyone else feel like this? I’m sorry if this is stupid, I just feel like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde towards the end, when Dr Jekyll had trouble containing the evil inside him known as Mr Hyde... I feel like I never know who I’ll wake up as or even who I’ll go to sleep as. Do you feel split too?",5.313696369636965,5.320559990099014,6.163118811881187,80.85807755775579,67.91089108910893,9.10957095709571,29.704620462046204,8.841846274778883,2.0874046204620464,786,26,165,12,12,260,117,202,0.13699999999999998,0.703,0.16,0.7299,0,1,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,0,0,9,16,2,2,9,1,17,6,2,0,2,34,36,17,0,3,9,0,6,6,0,1,4,0,1,5,14,6,0,3,11,0,0,1,4,5,0,1,1,6,20,10,17,31,2,15,0,0,0,0,14,8,0,6,11,100,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249694873690056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08726328148638426,0.12787267018397566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15215422644340845,0.13783214204369318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13202218456192952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092135960283494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20850929708479832,0.0,0.11053603574358567,0.0,0.0,0.08242943055266748,0.0,0.10514964736223027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1176506293461228,0.0,0.3786167323355371,0.4457868472383209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06520301326078798,0.0,0.0709268946215413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328522551882014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2218565070947539,0.0,0.0,0.20576096673066466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08815015274960147,0.3658267778569772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09174259069345754,0.0,0.09625369605700064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08456792280392579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08652082408677984,0.21794164128848625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248904435600758,0.0,0.1057429012849602,0.0,0.12343070194450333,0.13970373426817845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938343047370251,0.0,0.0,0.11489936192479275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07996700216560455,0.0,0.0,0.07277206686584392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374499145080231,0.0,0.07361045881852855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ByePolarCoordinates,2020/03/31,"Healthy Grieving and Bipolar My mom passed away recently after a sudden illness. I’m in shock and grieving and have concerns this can be destabilizing and lead to an episode. 

To those of you that have lost a loved one, how did you take care of yourself and guard your stability?",4.059230769230768,6.682854153846158,3.896769230769234,85.64823076923078,74.76923076923076,6.467692307692308,31.55384615384615,7.554174236665415,2.145610769230769,224,11,41,3,5,68,42,52,0.218,0.631,0.151,-0.5267,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,3,0,2,1,6,0,0,3,0,5,3,0,2,0,8,10,6,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,5,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,4,0,1,2,0,4,2,7,7,0,7,0,3,0,1,5,2,0,0,3,29,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34774774025426397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37737048971187503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4040387836748689,0.0,0.33405525931987795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4334898146680225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25080852843710005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3654570631082951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2782904333901786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,fucked_from_day_one,2020/03/31,"My bipolar disorder got so much worse after I had my son. Anyone else? Diagnosed Bipolar 1 for years.  I never really took it seriously as I was pretty high functioning and my manic episodes tended to make me better at my job.

Then I had a baby.  After he was born I was hospitalized for postpartum psychosis.  He is 19 months now and I have been hospitalized 5 times since he was born for psychosis. I'm currently experiencing a psychotic depression where I more or less lay in bed all day while my mind entertains me with its outrageous delusions. 

I'm just wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience after having a baby?  Is this a ""thing"" with bipolar in women?",4.333463203463204,6.6288789841269855,6.29632034632035,70.3229220779221,72.65079365079364,9.97864357864358,29.708513708513703,10.230975488527342,3.7086920634920637,536,23,89,17,11,186,85,126,0.121,0.805,0.075,-0.6987,2,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,4,5,1,0,5,0,13,4,0,1,2,12,20,8,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,1,4,4,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,3,0,0,10,1,14,2,13,10,4,20,0,1,0,0,5,5,0,3,14,64,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694315141155996,0.3948158555904061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703964211150142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242529026342665,0.0,0.16594197055199522,0.1955507878818216,0.0,0.0,0.22081063316810454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32189355398869696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884632127311788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15409169712145568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2035610136020576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19119015518452065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12860529705232046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1945365965127916,0.0,0.15378326141492735,0.0,0.14163084804049456,0.0,0.14859502545699516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19600943745745766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12342604943756234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15937437173014407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12799797891518427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11234443529404343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21405776006282648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20893683340443306,0.0,0.0,0.19634196274740406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12406985976502423
bipolarreddit,crodicuru,2020/03/31,"Jamais vu Whenever I have an upswing I get jamais vu: a feeling of strangeness from an otherwise familiar situation. I never had a word for it, but the word is precise. I see things anew. I used to call it ""the perpetual springtime,"" as if all things are always turning over a new leaf. I mean yeah, things are always turning over a new leaf. That is only a fact in a cosmos in flux, but I get the feeling because I sometimes hover between facts and madness.

I don't like feeling different from my chums, but I do like the feeling that everything makes sense, and the sense-making of jamais vu is hotter than pussy. Maybe I am an alien after all, or maybe I am just tired of writing about these weird feelings and having no one to compare notes with.

I like jamais vu. I like the alien feelings for the challenge of trying to make familiar and tender what at first seems so far from experience that it appears threatening. I like these things. I expect to remain alone with these feelings till I die, but if you ever feel anything like me I would be glad for you say as much.",4.579489633173843,5.848310330143543,5.257397129186604,82.18644657097289,70.10047846889952,7.487208931419459,29.244338118022327,7.793537801064563,1.8942705582137165,845,32,158,10,15,273,116,209,0.187,0.745,0.067,-0.9822,1,1,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,2,0,2,4,11,1,0,16,1,14,2,0,3,7,40,33,15,1,4,8,0,8,6,0,1,2,1,0,0,14,6,0,0,10,0,0,1,3,2,0,2,1,10,22,9,28,30,3,14,0,0,1,0,5,6,0,5,13,115,36,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12420735588930648,0.0,0.0,0.1995763797049832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09868902876265936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07310588695082555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12245803956592798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244644421934138,0.12529733437754598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10848009680756687,0.0,0.0,0.1077819187864189,0.11731081725299107,0.0,0.0,0.4851062447852558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10200914847260067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12531295982288754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3515392466017896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601033143989854,0.0,0.2409639363988385,0.13063476890203835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08815954207235001,0.0,0.09249446416343113,0.2316509062392103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08126508410161579,0.09120926489062577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953701127823602,0.0,0.0,0.09556563952905864,0.1091762912608878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134802052389655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11861005972084605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31869450373191605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13783750344654094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08142200488006034,0.2608904949724772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10357771550876664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08519211828109327,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Mary_flower_29,2020/03/31,"Anyone with sexual issues because of the medications? Hi everyone! I'm new in Reddit. I discovered the bipolar disorder last year, then I started taking some medications. I'm with the same medication since December, and I had no problems untill the last week: I'm having anorgasmia. It's totally horrible, cause it feels like I'm anesthetized. The worse is that my libido didn't change, but it's like my body doesn't responds to my mind. Does anyone else with this problem? Could it be caused by the medication? How can I fix this?",3.787272727272729,6.511758888888887,5.196252525252528,75.44104545454549,76.27272727272728,8.80848484848485,28.081818181818186,9.3871,3.105734545454545,426,18,72,12,10,142,68,99,0.153,0.7959999999999999,0.05,-0.8476,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,6,0,8,6,1,3,1,16,15,5,0,3,1,0,1,2,0,0,5,0,0,0,7,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,1,7,2,8,11,3,9,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,10,44,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2074421429769961,0.15198936069859711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09042520020678056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16476958967125582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30476707268040754,0.1569214704027853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11843547191258726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1700076959699902,0.0,0.1298111990315176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12391699773703377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417428961522292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07500392775443047,0.10597238303089138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15482587410288987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418298207048865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14494047871452415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5977379461649588,0.0,0.0,0.14977865006077334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432653405111734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2838780244033197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12270636312101435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049940889800057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11153138483820453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11898744364076153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511686472249716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955245256776808
bipolarreddit,countrymouse,2020/03/31,"What are the laws in Bipolar-land? If Bipolar was a country, its population would be around 42M people - right in between Iraq and Ukraine. Let's pretend for a min - what are the laws of this mythical land? (just for fun)",1.6004651162790715,4.141477883720935,2.582604651162793,91.86413953488373,84.11627906976744,5.300465116279073,27.20465116279069,6.742157984588678,1.2143153488372105,171,8,35,2,5,54,34,43,0.045,0.955,0.0,-0.1926,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,4,0,6,1,0,0,0,7,6,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,7,2,0,6,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,1,1,24,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4722968871636621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5425174672309895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3678125989167456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4530819124806218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37688343129646695,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,CreepyYard,2020/04/01,"I'm very confused! I (22F) went from being a fairly unmotivated, sad high schooler who did everything at the absolute last minute (if at all) to a remarkably over-involved college student who is consistently a little bit of a mess, in part because she occasionally slips into periods where she sometimes can't even really move for a couple of days, but it's really not that big of a deal because she's doing so much better than she was before. My best friend has dubbed these little pockets of behavior my ""Eeyore days,"" and almost everyone in my life has come to understand and work around them. 

When the pandemic happened and college campuses (including mine) emptied, I threw myself into every opportunity available to me- if someone proposed a petition or a Facebook page or a form or a fund, I spearheaded it. I was doing several large projects by myself, simultaneously, and without any regard to my own situation. I went a week and a half rarely sleeping, eating, showering, or checking my emails and messages. I was working so hard to fix other people's problems that I almost wound up homeless myself. 

Eventually, I crashed into a full-on Eeyore week after a massive screaming match with someone over the phone about literally nothing (I don't really remember the argument but apparently I barely sounded like I was speaking English). I've living with some friends, and we all sort of assumed that it was the product of being overworked, which has been the explanation for all other previous Eeyore days. I'm significantly more functional right now (look, I'm typing this!), although time has gotten really confusing and I still find myself lapsing into hours where movement becomes difficult. One thing that I have been able to do is go through the small mountain of emails that I've gathered in the past few weeks while letting YouTube autoplay me whatever Vine compilation or reveal video it wants to. One email is from my current therapist. I've only been with her for a few months, but one of my friends found her info in my calendar and called on my behalf in the middle of my Eeyore week. My friend explained everything, and now she and my therapist think I'm bipolar, likely bipolar 2. 

I've been diagnosed with anxiety and depression before, as well as some other things (OCD, ADHD, autism, etc) that didn't wind up sticking. I (briefly) tried medication (Zoloft) at 19 after it was discovered that I've been self harming since I was 10, but it made things worse so I stopped taking it and have been somewhat opposed to medicating myself ever since. But somehow, this diagnosis feels different, which is probably why I've been ghosting my therapist and letting myself slip back into full-on Eeyore. But hey, at least I know I'm doing it! 

I still don't know if I trust this diagnosis (if it even is a real diagnosis), but I definitely know that something's up and, for what it's worth, I've been reluctantly resonating with good ol' internet mental health resources. So here I am on Reddit, asking for the opinions of total strangers on the internet! I won't take your actual advice (I'll defer to my therapist, I swear), but I would love to hear experiences because I'm super sketched out by false diagnoses. 

I'm sorry for the long post and my apologies if this isn't exactly what this page is meant for- no hard feelings if you want to delete/mute/hide (idk I'm new here) this post. Also, apologies for the flowy language- my friends have been reading Foucault to me to try to get some sort of response out of me and I think it's finally gotten to me.",7.2014545454545456,7.849746387878787,7.668939393939392,69.4684090909091,63.90909090909091,10.539393939393939,36.651515151515156,10.411451182825502,4.07449696969697,2856,133,470,65,40,941,335,660,0.092,0.8140000000000001,0.095,0.8952,4,0,1,0,0,0,90.0,1,2,1,6,22,24,0,2,29,0,46,13,1,1,6,95,83,46,1,10,21,0,4,2,5,2,10,4,1,1,38,32,1,2,16,2,3,7,9,9,1,4,26,9,64,15,76,51,21,70,0,2,1,1,35,33,0,24,30,335,102,9,0.07116926660612673,0.0,0.06945093791744858,0.0,0.08553162817603055,0.06954578364536887,0.0,0.0,0.14253148025354825,0.0,0.0,0.056914036792171725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04839754179030773,0.0,0.05444429415483798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06335573604018965,0.06653365713193232,0.0,0.0,0.05472477300345623,0.0,0.13015237306153365,0.07860086348116559,0.12111960803528656,0.0,0.0746877545083092,0.06294343280401417,0.07769840645544503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0726717784058872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061306021423646224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07874743983859407,0.0,0.1376948678232751,0.07337238883890683,0.06129798504250902,0.14447061500785133,0.0,0.07435673599715914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07282392716495377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0793725450118389,0.094013258760015,0.06437667616264972,0.05996317662096105,0.06800528413407123,0.12792469560956932,0.06961719905235929,0.0,0.0,0.0719706391865082,0.0,0.0,0.07796245284074295,0.06504742033802433,0.0,0.0,0.07803342741105221,0.2749259941844727,0.0,0.0371830043985472,0.0,0.04044713430865437,0.05969340422623549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06293474741968548,0.0,0.12750736762099835,0.0,0.0,0.07564960237736948,0.08021293588985114,0.0,0.0,0.07519423763325239,0.0,0.0,0.0700873916499904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11733830306883528,0.058012451119472425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14555079394020326,0.05026895772916965,0.06953941753048129,0.14266060395306318,0.06284376629461796,0.06298256138020929,0.05976425951132783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06423304174571375,0.06734208086359346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14339109743816564,0.07172188154882526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05680662961060112,0.07564166733964446,0.05231759979627239,0.0,0.0,0.06873572117196777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0682888307543134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14467841078222451,0.0541274342639375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07706938034003365,0.06793911794592072,0.04933980841832316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363209688126343,0.0,0.07673250657092699,0.0680993765226623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0711885260204108,0.08100620633311162,0.1823714183244333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08062090544536307,0.060778164819366036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0742450665104976,0.08040101373857762,0.0,0.1177439055589928,0.07999723754066593,0.07122066419932642,0.0,0.1206029772847434,0.05478957844917292,0.07038822446689437,0.07966816725188218,0.0,0.0,0.11367173648948455,0.059500693631528476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070208627265904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3305320156018303,0.1418450950820051,0.0912047847043434,0.0,0.0,0.041499371686113784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966385207044119,0.0,0.0,0.07408971645597046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058722098398613976,0.08395495475281803,0.0,0.2283507712298007,0.0,0.06398971776422506,0.13194924631650104,0.06421919344073683,0.0,0.0,0.0686046333271048,0.0,0.1036241474222692,0.0,0.07252756283218989,0.050556605050978684,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,perfdayforbananafish,2020/04/01,"Bipolar, PPD, and Zoloft? Hi, I have been diagnosed bipolar 2 for years and have been off meds for quite a while since it was pretty manageable. Well I’m 3 months postpartum now and just diagnosed with PPD (postpartum depression) and have been prescribed Zoloft. I know Zoloft and bipolar are definitely not the best combination. So I guess I’m just looking for anyone that has gone through this with Zoloft or any other meds that actually helped? What was your experience, other meds you might recommend instead, etc.

Thank you.",5.906693548387097,8.524340462365593,5.311491935483872,77.68723790322579,69.10752688172043,9.381182795698924,30.97983870967742,9.827888789773867,3.3361193548387096,425,18,72,11,8,129,62,93,0.035,0.825,0.14,0.8398,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,3,0,2,6,4,0,0,2,0,11,9,0,0,0,14,18,8,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,9,0,0,0,7,7,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,6,1,6,3,7,11,2,6,0,1,1,0,5,1,0,3,4,49,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.17662309320321762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1230814700385572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12655453808478373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899410234220312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15588903548288108,0.36740824047600296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2018550769187024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17704591767194278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19938423293885266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12131581591796513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994690384352967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15198856479717254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6031273784202331,0.0,0.0,0.19200500761062106,0.0,0.0,0.14446691343750914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1841349843511172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19250837116218308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14971930854537865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16663406907173642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16273447448833991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11655358018787484
bipolarreddit,hchinnis,2020/04/01,"Resources/Education for healthcare workers about COVID-19   

Hi everyone, I am a registered nurse in an ambulatory surgery center that is currently shut down. I have been looking to bring myself up to speed on the Coronavirus, management plans, safety for medical personnel etc., and I’ve come across some free courses aimed at medical professionals-

COVID-19: Tackling the Novel Coronavirus   
 https://www.futurelearn.com/courses/covid19-novel-coronavirus  
   
 

Managing COVID-19 in General Practice   
 https://www.futurelearn.com/courses/management-of-covid-19-in-general-practice

I am wondering if anyone has done these or similar courses? Has your workplace provided you with recommendations on relevant courses to do? Are you aware of any central resource that lists courses for medical personnel? What is everyone doing training wise? Thank you for your time!",14.652367149758456,18.952295608695657,11.454202898550726,35.700338164251235,49.43478260869566,13.458937198067634,49.29951690821257,12.45797560212912,8.017705314009662,725,42,71,24,9,215,87,115,0.0,0.872,0.128,0.9355,1,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,5,0,2,1,3,0,0,4,0,12,3,0,0,0,8,17,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,9,4,18,15,2,15,0,0,1,0,6,10,0,4,3,52,13,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15267545502990912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15698359535469855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193396696829817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22975311722248115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2503895648061879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42906053966926333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18853303655279574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6785148658002979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20669993875636106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13091440641932778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2434730429921489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,andjm249,2020/04/01,"Is this hypomania? I’ve recently been diagnosed with bipolar type 2 and I’m trying to get a better sense of when I am hypomanic, not sure if I’m in denial of my diagnosis or if I really can’t tell. Just got out of the hospital for suicide attempt and although I’m doing better I’m still experiencing racing thoughts, especially suicidal, and rapidly changing mood. I haven’t been able to sleep well and my appetite has been nonexistent like I don’t need food. One minute I’m adding several classes to my school schedule and the next minute I’m deciding I don’t want to finish school. Is this just me or is this likely a mixed episode?? Just looking for advice. Am meeting with my therapist tomorrow and will further discuss it with her.",3.6016783216783246,5.892321895104897,5.286013986013987,76.75671328671329,74.80419580419581,8.595804195804197,31.279720279720287,9.265573868473778,3.200283916083917,593,29,106,15,13,201,91,143,0.081,0.8320000000000001,0.08800000000000001,-0.4758,0,0,0,0,0,1,12.0,0,0,0,3,6,7,0,0,4,0,15,4,1,0,1,23,27,12,2,4,8,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,10,1,0,2,0,0,0,5,0,1,1,5,2,11,6,14,21,0,10,0,0,1,0,4,3,0,4,9,67,15,4,0.17722234884637264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17317962819828886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3134775314663962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874777462346008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17987695357793188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2142979676894532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09259136268952722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417409019421161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1731637755994466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488221384418466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314081260933569,0.0,0.0,0.1884779785418296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12009045012874005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11353317470858315,0.0,0.1749856892223228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3587169569643501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20021080986035567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17735033670723274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415299967161538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3877049705735303,0.0,0.167029966447358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549001442829518,0.0,0.0,0.20576880642198264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406947490555555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12032234168618175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10453033302231957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15934417516136332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,haku0705,2020/04/01,"Is this a seizure? I've always wondered if bipolar disorder.. of all varieties.. are they a type of long lasting seizure? Of course, it can be months between cycles, but we can use anticonvulsant meds for it. Why couldn't they be considered part of a similar family. Obviously we wouldn't label it as such, since seizures are short and intense, but what if they are much more linked than we think?",5.955675675675678,7.149693486486488,5.968486486486487,78.63191891891893,66.83783783783784,9.703783783783782,33.71891891891892,9.888512548439397,3.276587027027027,314,14,59,7,5,99,55,74,0.0,0.971,0.028999999999999998,0.2477,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,3,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,10,1,0,1,2,16,13,6,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,8,9,4,4,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,3,3,42,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2426678370540988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33424469859965045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2749322302024221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2377255190499744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25809221652041936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3239462868067958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327842600866579,0.0,0.21438895145809506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31581769242025104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2412476160189978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.186871131673348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518833163190162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2631597320759563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3162711319905663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,reddit-surfer0893,2020/04/01,I wish someone would give me pity I hate seeing people with physical ailments saying they are tired of people pitying them. If I just had one person say they feel for me and understand what I'm going through I would feel so much better.,5.691014492753624,6.555931869565223,5.78130434782609,80.92384057971016,67.26086956521739,7.872463768115942,28.3768115942029,7.793537801064563,1.8048202898550727,190,6,34,2,3,60,37,46,0.215,0.672,0.113,-0.6509999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,3,1,2,4,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,10,13,3,0,4,2,0,2,0,0,2,1,2,0,1,1,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,3,0,1,1,5,9,1,4,10,1,1,0,2,1,0,7,0,0,1,0,24,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21241708849352225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24288147233115165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23039971754919555,0.13649815596334755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23712511906172545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17655777148819152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1627501891628109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3330170594184685,0.20971334147814746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3819968703016236,0.0,0.0,0.1913900180226362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20350124037754905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2760481947154978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2500327858807881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2761917616167444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3412297795223179,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,boringbre,2020/04/02,"Mood Tracking with Sanvello? I have seen lots of posts about mood tracking apps. A lot of you guys use Daylio. I recently found Sanvello, to track moods, journal, set goals, get small health nudges, build “hope boards”, and guided meditation... It has a little wheel that asks how you are, and then you can add different emotions/feelings/moods, and a journal entry about what’s going on. It has several categories and you can search for specific moods if you don’t see the one you are/were feeling. 

Have any of you heard of this app? If you do use it, does it help? I’m typically one of those people who has a hard time believing that I can “train my brain to be better”. I have a hard time believing my medication even helps. lol 

I also noticed on the app that they’re offering free premium access during this hell-storm. So maybe this app won’t help me, but maybe it’ll help one of you!",4.145522454424189,5.597241115606939,4.673988439306361,85.25485993775014,71.3699421965318,8.560071142730104,26.024455313472657,9.057496981413335,1.8812600266785242,695,22,142,14,13,221,108,173,0.015,0.8690000000000001,0.11699999999999999,0.9285,1,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,9,0,2,6,7,0,0,7,1,15,3,1,3,0,17,27,11,0,3,3,0,3,0,0,2,2,1,0,1,14,6,0,0,2,0,1,1,2,0,0,3,3,6,17,4,14,21,2,11,0,0,2,0,18,4,0,5,4,83,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11317551539571807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09624017280667176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13230446057736234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31889485436598075,0.0,0.12516517628828394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15798594679323585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14786092138133705,0.0,0.0,0.12384731892451716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09347429574402627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0715580429924159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15517214843834304,0.0,0.0,0.07393968033112089,0.0,0.08043051467913838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401295539556804,0.0,0.0,0.25355277644341445,0.0,0.0,0.1504318305483042,0.0,0.0,0.3794382723725944,0.0,0.0,0.140563804035383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14184275346704198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406347867054804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28435680481636105,0.0,0.0,0.14256905914951867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16112433739265994,0.0,0.0,0.28769798506304256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09811390233415626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13553946244360915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.139736424087458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11277513271420077,0.0,0.0,0.15988017510389138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16504584963196314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2444600521756159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,karlynedl,2020/04/02,"animal crossing and quarantine the week I was stuck at home before animal crossing came out, I was in such a dark, dangerous place mentally. 
if you’re feeling like there’s no reason to get up in the morning, and just the idea of spending these seemingly endless days at home is scaring you, get this game. 
you play in real time, so there’s things to look forward to the next day. I truly don’t remember the last time I went to bed looking forward to the next day. Maybe when I was a kid on Christmas Eve? 
If it’s something you can get your hands on, I really recommend it. Feeling manic? Chop some trees down. Depressive state? Your villagers will cheer you up. 
I’m so thankful for this game.",2.336407563025208,4.759318985294119,3.4691596638655464,87.49264705882356,79.73529411764707,6.8268907563025225,25.890756302521005,7.957251820313856,1.7214344537815127,546,22,106,10,14,176,89,136,0.08900000000000001,0.7559999999999999,0.156,0.8637,0,1,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,6,0,0,7,7,1,1,8,0,7,1,1,1,0,15,20,7,0,2,3,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,3,1,6,4,0,0,6,3,1,6,2,3,0,0,6,5,12,4,18,13,1,30,0,1,2,0,9,14,0,4,14,64,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13841694667935595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18604678648548967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31471870635450816,0.0,0.1401041510092905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16449782637763807,0.116208758571383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25495911128010884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3263349029331329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836303286076542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13259465554088246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07947048380164723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2731972619891771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16342005158294806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16392925992948362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34599467674631945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16995154671853335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851497362745852,0.1042081265598932,0.16724793523946418,0.0,0.0,0.1842690832853605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16285723344258618,0.0,0.0,0.14808518997596554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252283801409615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14976117277396878,0.0,0.0,0.10806818857919932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18970392692255364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13048100566960508,0.0,0.0,0.15079318772606462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,annomyous1234,2020/04/02,"Lamicital... Anyone ever took lamicital at 200mg, and it cause slurred speech, confusion, and it talking slow?   Bipolar 2 wife took a dose of 100mg, then a few hrs later took another 100mg, because she forgot.... thought?",3.5875000000000017,6.229834750000002,5.125000000000004,76.13000000000002,76.5,8.0,32.5,8.841846274778883,3.2795,170,9,29,4,4,57,31,40,0.07200000000000001,0.9279999999999999,0.0,-0.3736,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,1,1,7,5,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,5,1,1,0,2,0,1,8,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,4,12,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2603670490720924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17361903330877362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513630318444457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.255075288867339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22460402345733216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1995763186798568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19712462190675165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8276203657097939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,miniminuet,2020/04/02,"Honestly, I think I just need reassurance I’m doing the right thing. Hi everyone, long time lurker, first time posting. 

I have bipolar type 1. I was diagnosed with it 8 years ago after being misdiagnosed for 15 years as major depressive disorder, anxiety, adhd, etc. I believe the bipolar 1 is the most correct diagnosis. I was hospitalized 8 years ago after a suicide attempt. That was when I received the bipolar diagnosis and that was when they suggest ECT. Prior to ECT meds did not work...at all (13 years of trying meds). As much as ECT really really sucks and the side effects are horrible, it saved my life and gave me a chance to live it for the first time. After ECT I went back and relearned all my math that I lost and then started at college. I graduated from college and now I’m in university finally trying to get my bachelors (pretty sure this is my last shot). I have not had any follow up since they put me on Seroquel (400 mg) during the ECT. About 2 years ago I started noticing an increase in frequency of episodes and they were getting more pronounced. My family doctor and I have been trying to get in to see a psychiatrist regularly for2 years, everyone keeps saying no, they have no room. I saw one just for a quick one visit and he told my family doc to start me on latuda last summer. It went terribly. I developed severe tarditive akathisia which caused my body to get so stressed I developed fibromyalgia (for those who don’t know it’s essentially severe pain all over your body). Because my doc is a gp she and many other doctors did not recognize the signs and it was my first time experiencing it so it went on for 6 months before we figured it out. I’ve had some awful side effects but this was one of the worst. Even when the akathisia went away (I know I’m lucky it did) the severe pain from the fibromyalgia stayed. That was last fall, I lost 2 school semesters and had to quit my job because of it. Cut to January and I was starting some kind of hypomanic episode that initially involved high performance and little need for sleep but soon devolved into chaos. I spent 10 months of my clothing and gifts budget on stupid shit I would never buy, I behaved recklessly and I was very angry and very unlike myself. After that came the crash in the first week of March, that was the worst switch from hypomanic to depressed I’ve ever had. I wasn’t violent but it felt violent. I don’t know if that makes sense. Since then I have been getting more and more depressed. I can’t concentrate, I can’t do any type of complex task, I’m at risk of completely losing this semester and honestly I just want to go to sleep and never wake up (note: not suicidal, just want to sleep forever). I finally called a crisis line and they managed to get me an emergency appointment with a psychiatrist (honestly, thank god for them, and I’m not even religious). He wants me to cut the seroquel from 450 (I upped it by 50mg 3 days ago as a Hail Mary effort) to 200mg and start abilify. After 10 days he wants me to go on the injection. Honestly, I’m terrified. I know I can’t stay like this, I know where this road leads and it’s not good. I want to lower the seroquel dose as I hate how sedated it makes me but I’ve had some terrible med changes in the past. I have no issues with injections but I’ve always been med compliant and I’m afraid if I have akathisia again I can’t just stop as it’s extended release for a month. I’m afraid of the side effects, I’m afraid of weight gain (I’ve lost 180lbs, had to thanks to lithium), I’m afraid it won’t work, I’m afraid of suddenly dropping my Seroquel by 250mg, I’m afraid it will make things worse and I’m most afraid that no one but my gp will be following up with me (thank god for her). I’m so scared right now. I know I’m only weeks, possibly days, away from completely losing my grasp on reality, and frankly psychosis sucks ass, but I’m still scared of the meds. I’ve always said I will take the depression over any type of mania any day, but after this episode I might have to change that stance. Also, not being medicated is not an option for me, that leads to death and I don’t want to go there again. I’m not asking what your side effects are, not because I don’t care but because we are all so different. What I’m wondering is if anyone has taken the injectable abilify? Was it like being on a roller coaster as it wears off (I’m afraid of that too)? Did it help at all? Am I doing the right thing? If this goes badly I will have no chance to complete my semester. Should I wait and try to finish my courses and risk this heading into suicidal territory? I know if I get there I won’t fail again. I hate being bipolar 😞I’m really just looking for some people’s opinions. Thanks. Sorry this was so unorganized.",3.0604285362662433,4.913854273871984,4.376902568885779,84.63789229593358,74.9916054564533,7.896099387250137,26.141087922480025,8.662718600411019,1.8954960916145245,3765,137,759,76,81,1242,375,953,0.20199999999999999,0.728,0.07,-0.9993,3,0,0,0,0,1,109.0,2,2,6,22,33,57,10,13,37,1,71,23,10,11,10,129,157,63,4,15,30,0,2,2,0,9,12,2,1,0,51,40,1,3,17,1,3,17,28,40,0,8,42,8,89,17,103,101,20,128,0,10,3,1,29,39,4,16,70,472,140,16,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05897592642116192,0.0,0.17400017873011192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0392434718918056,0.08166494209162252,0.0,0.0,0.1334846500392091,0.0,0.03754053038157465,0.0,0.0,0.034312817806427504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045876410296644965,0.0,0.09221095489783857,0.03773392667592273,0.040973708430830064,0.119657206593708,0.0,0.041757308050700895,0.055288200853319404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10901755697841163,0.0,0.0,0.05010877902779908,0.05612616924078013,0.0500329537456574,0.05041124666476632,0.10382495565415699,0.0,0.15435557920209678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12659149317418367,0.0,0.16906519998390945,0.04980782280437627,0.0,0.0512705941018804,0.05624163936790492,0.1004561073313614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054729104008689966,0.06482419602527925,0.044389124790113386,0.0,0.09378225853685196,0.0,0.0,0.0925228696607044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04711754937781357,0.10751362929479424,0.0,0.16696507302407296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1794694576501351,0.0,0.0836675485245542,0.041159906464422025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09689839038711967,0.050362813678242906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03289243950969574,0.05184806977866965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05121921643860442,0.04869714652915005,0.04361812767893943,0.0,0.05110173251182376,0.18878375532033706,0.12000255770971248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0346615446885042,0.04794894776476888,0.04918380171963214,0.04333214994332042,0.04342785218739095,0.04120876273162128,0.10979974187909863,0.1607061574196558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982693537060652,0.049752080738714836,0.0,0.0,0.27254389244602906,0.049435647328953856,0.0,0.052058448031719384,0.0,0.0,0.1175082368800696,0.0,0.036074128154869316,0.07277366587907395,0.07569588215667641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05586966742272845,0.0,0.0,0.13301190044712655,0.037322048563677934,0.10443376223287568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046845506236020934,0.03402087593754838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055322168444863484,0.04699814324713435,0.049924643283802785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04933168212326877,0.0,0.05219492533309892,0.0,0.0,0.09431180819704238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12572361778346314,0.046679436411856366,0.03902463181843401,0.09826079578103032,0.049664257354860526,0.03910463968544761,0.0,0.0,0.1663147670008464,0.05037248737298039,0.08118699548775113,0.0,0.1473246122302692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05493294200229592,0.17366977578525505,0.1046100748377435,0.0391895729704363,0.04102702829880791,0.05621268572126562,0.0,0.0,0.1610329179802563,0.0,0.04625049961292865,0.0,0.03689661158269316,0.0,0.0,0.1807184329833088,0.0,0.0,0.09780529225449013,0.03144384590055456,0.0,0.0,0.11445889401509493,0.0,0.0,0.04689112926842599,0.0,0.13326874299139133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0809803397481311,0.17366632694062534,0.0,0.07872642301715453,0.05975740665386262,0.0,0.181963776629486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05321731959374474,0.07145111374769818,0.0,0.05000933923874637,0.03485988380174242,0.0,0.0,0.18960750782373914
bipolarreddit,dontlookback76,2020/04/02,"Can't feel grief Two months ago we put one of our dogs down.  Just a couple of weeks ago we put our other dog down. That actually put me in a euphoric hypomania.   Last night my grandma passed away. I'm not sad. I want to be, I loved her very much. I'm on Spravato ketamine nasal spray,  prozac,wellbutrin,  and lithium as a mood stabilizer. Question is do you think the antidepressants and mood stabilizer could cause me not to grieve?  I feel guilty that I don't feel sad.",2.374086021505377,4.602418021505379,3.41204301075269,89.0047311827957,78.46236559139786,6.713978494623658,23.23655913978495,7.793537801064563,0.9969268817204298,368,12,79,6,9,118,66,93,0.042,0.768,0.19,0.9325,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,4,1,0,0,1,7,0,0,4,0,6,2,1,1,0,15,14,3,2,2,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,5,0,0,4,4,4,0,2,0,4,13,1,10,12,1,15,0,4,0,1,8,5,0,1,6,44,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.18581976201106928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3375867951644746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17890326877940216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19561096231057096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520326748475354,0.2106930585614489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28884203971408645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1552154684147306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718589969889652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1519892273800505,0.0,0.1399785839420791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17869368416529582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12903165249137416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5742657710908959,0.21331089218120386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12201168116819655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18600997856491305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15711416830959196,0.1123130239822098,0.0,0.15274122725096134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,WeeBabey,2020/04/02,"Does anyone else take abilify? I was recently prescribed abilify by my psychiatrist. I've been prescribed an endless amount of SSRIs but only have had bad experiences with them. So far I feel like the meds are working, but not to the complete extent I wish they would. I do realize I need to be more patient and wait a few weeks though since I've only been on them for a week and 2 days. I'm also on a low dose of 2mg at the moment. I'm just wondering what other people's experiences are like taking this medicine? It's definitely making me drowsy, but I'm slowly getting used to it.",4.465677966101693,5.314048745762714,6.0625,77.86883474576273,70.01694915254237,8.950847457627118,29.15677966101695,9.188382445141503,2.441538983050847,464,17,90,9,8,159,84,118,0.063,0.8109999999999999,0.126,0.8101,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,3,1,4,4,0,0,7,0,10,1,0,2,0,17,23,8,0,3,5,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,4,1,10,2,11,17,4,10,0,1,0,0,3,5,0,1,7,55,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14996204093061655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13112041163225222,0.1921394298431721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15657383622233267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1966142525988488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12093679385194007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16410260333047474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1566513681196837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3668668694820377,0.0,0.0,0.09481724147332216,0.13396643792097782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09797300528689942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18322848924031396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12517302991032705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20829573115785027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390458964909715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2852393177520775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300048070137079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851562970597631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15512092780595896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2819878522277359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18424035310699952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619596262587348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30083920972559913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21564214596370665,0.0,0.20336064762917344,0.1365189460544116,0.0,0.0,0.13321092832780213,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,TheEureka16,2020/04/02,This sub makes me feel seem I just found this sub. just reading others posts has made me feel so much less alone. Knowing others also deal with all the bs in life and still just keep going. Everyday is a struggle and even easy things can be impossible. Everything in my life is shit rn and this sub just made my life a little bit brighter. so thank you so much,1.6483333333333334,4.104466055555555,2.1783333333333346,95.47500000000002,82.8888888888889,5.266666666666668,18.72222222222221,6.6274283507984215,-0.07339444444444476,284,7,61,3,8,87,50,72,0.099,0.794,0.107,0.1511,0,1,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,0,10,3,1,1,3,0,5,4,1,3,1,18,16,7,0,0,4,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,6,4,0,1,5,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,3,2,6,1,3,12,5,7,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,1,2,40,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19802681793192886,0.0,0.1529035598995858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20874222977619805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1971200794062915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12628661357003254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17183934280747126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19335418044673575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2096422871195272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086640690435189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16994844433367073,0.0,0.0,0.10507919933891817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4051532638933663,0.0,0.1916338695276716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3618384664116989,0.12762831019058768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2811098177225831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831179318427751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912529784571929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1740624248637146,0.0,0.0,0.19626532182372766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15269355460304027,0.0,0.0,0.1998850468246217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1760324100452014,0.0,0.0,0.12702560571909727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kittyboXing,2020/04/02,"Said screw it & stopped meds? ECT anyone? I’ll try to keep it short and sweet. 

33 now, have been on meds since I was 19. Tried over 20 different combos at least, most ending up in insanely high dosages. Also have severe anxiety disorder and was on Xanax XR, klonopin and Propranolol daily. 

In 2016 my best friend died and sent me spiraling. I ended up so far into the rabbit hole of depression and then became suicidal. I checked into the psych ward and my life has changed drastically since. Drastically bad, drastically good. 

At 30, I underwent 16 rounds of ECT, stayed on Depakote and Latuda? I believe was my combo at the time. I ended up in a good (or so I thought) relationship, had the support so I tapered off then stopped all meds in the summer of 2019. 

I didn’t know what life was like not being on medication. It creeped me right out for weeks. I felt alert, more aware, senses heightened. Not being under a medicated fog was really great... until it wasn’t. 

Synopsis: I lost my damn mind. Manic —> depressed, hypo, hypo, depressed, then stayed hypo with a depressed body. The fluctuations were unbearable, my anxiety was debilitating. I became panicked in general, manic in the mind and depressed in the body/attitude. I was so uncomfortable and confused and completely overwhelmed yet I tried my hardest to keep my shit together until I had to surrender. That was an intense battle I had to fight with myself- surrendering. It’s a huge mind fuck to know I can SURVIVE without meds but that’s just it- I was surviving, breathing. That’s not living. 

Fast forward to March 2020 and I’m back on meds. He put me back on Lamictal and Abilify. Waking up after the first few days with that medicine head feeling pissed me off and you know, the usual suspects when it comes to side effects. I’m staying positive knowing that I’m pretty damn awesome for never giving up and I’m just gonna roll with it. 

To infinity and beyond —>",2.8488953839951634,5.640225063360879,4.181384129543776,80.85349526305184,80.73553719008265,7.177827050997784,27.03547671840355,8.25429008570747,2.299381294093933,1530,66,269,33,41,502,205,363,0.16,0.738,0.102,-0.9394,1,0,0,0,1,0,61.0,0,1,0,6,13,25,8,2,15,0,22,13,6,1,2,52,43,28,2,0,8,0,3,1,1,1,5,1,0,0,14,23,0,4,9,0,1,4,7,17,0,1,21,5,31,8,50,19,6,67,0,7,1,2,8,36,6,3,27,175,45,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06644821316249526,0.0,0.09002956574537903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12712948395113208,0.0,0.0,0.05809948309602667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277844126601468,0.06937790110355234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09361562518731538,0.08719936437330457,0.0,0.0,0.0922958840712127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0878997506122109,0.07157593819216249,0.08711981836468645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05358711982841391,0.0,0.35783277782681616,0.0,0.08623582043129951,0.08681289400800701,0.09523001562221828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22078312083146787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042013540451974384,0.0,0.07978083522740269,0.0,0.0,0.07067755621611953,0.0,0.0,0.06419625841052097,0.07681671888158183,0.0,0.07970890295146707,0.0,0.13938635429794247,0.0,0.09160863160152267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08527581320993417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08779069299004508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14771102076543352,0.0,0.0,0.18265958075017136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173799156380968,0.04059429184521266,0.0,0.07337128437976445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09070414763664683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4614794203560635,0.16741181517256046,0.0,0.0,0.25169607358857443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06408525890544657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08453389007297209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08352987060953435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05323051905376069,0.0,0.0,0.08920913544743883,0.0,0.07095965563451292,0.07903900933005502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09386970245829676,0.08529219299742488,0.1374682341324417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2656933325469003,0.0,0.1389363677780081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09088857453482192,0.09429120784834696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0659653404354211,0.04845130044066385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692409478945504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09151350772610156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06665095984100461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08009720547324291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,rainbowmoxie,2020/04/02,"Who made Lamictal be like this I just wanna talk Why is it so nasty and badly shaped. I'm only taking 100 MG but the pill is pentagon shaped or something and tastes like ass if it dissolves even the slightest in my mouth.
I fill my mouth with drink and then pop the pill in and try to swallow quickly, but it stuck to the roof of my mouth tonight and OH MY GOD I nearly threw up.
Why can't they put it like, in a capsule and save us all the nightly struggle?

I've heard of some people on higher doses having even bigger Lamictal pills, and one person even mentioned SQUARE ONES.

I'm gonna have to start taking it in some ice cream or applesauce or something it's, just so bad.

Who designed this??? Do they hate us and people with thyroid issues for some reason?? We need a fucking petition or something I swear.

Any tips and tricks on how YOU deal with taking these wretched cursed things would be appreciated!",3.313222836095761,5.104188646408844,3.849701657458564,88.95418416206263,74.13812154696133,6.1526335174953966,24.221362799263353,6.742157984588678,0.758900257826888,719,22,144,6,15,226,115,181,0.15,0.7490000000000001,0.10099999999999999,-0.8759,0,0,4,0,0,0,17.0,3,1,2,0,9,10,3,1,7,0,9,13,4,3,1,33,23,20,0,4,9,0,0,3,0,2,5,1,0,1,12,13,3,0,1,1,0,3,1,6,0,2,4,4,14,4,18,15,4,19,0,0,2,2,13,11,2,8,8,92,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09932684510695937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24391054339634305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15058301789181328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14308468749551587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2894167775498436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13503152550237207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14420551591914174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524502832708548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21407484858853526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13820694580107826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10830276944222672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13706884596596572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979501377755916,0.11108637092489526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20252134001381364,0.12753528906025025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468321742667605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15017557337177187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33733589170761025,0.0,0.0,0.10338309859067957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15269521843210693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3294602658120753,0.11739872042542708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09703678649242033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09916618718944002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3513880590200376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26359561431524386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10375791606915724,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,almond_milk1,2020/04/02,"Quetiapine (Seroquel) for Bipolar 2 and weight gain Has anyone that has taken this medicine not gained weight? I mentioned that weight gain was a serious concern of mine to the doctor and he kind of brushed it off and said it wasn’t going to be an issue because I’m on 100mg, but it seems like everything I’m reading says the opposite. I just started taking it today, but I’m really concerned. Any advice would be appreciated!!",5.0474796747967465,6.557554073170736,6.0009756097561,76.38040650406505,69.2439024390244,8.393495934959349,31.959349593495933,8.841846274778883,2.80579837398374,342,15,60,6,6,113,60,82,0.033,0.813,0.154,0.8988,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,3,1,3,0,0,4,0,7,5,0,0,0,9,16,5,0,1,4,0,3,1,0,1,2,2,0,0,7,3,3,0,1,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,4,6,3,2,7,9,0,5,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,3,35,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18996620044454912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13219920235054067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13592955124283504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11850491620224185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19897744432105727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1747148935145663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104824479750771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2029039161046393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2024385058449622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09497440561425234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19445339594280203,0.0,0.12453812291999035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849196670331027,0.1545953095552221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1769751765113761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375978785543602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14616519934650174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18426921664797893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7101833649208709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13809674239754813,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ronald0n9,2020/04/02,"My journey so far dealing with ADD/Bi-polar disorder This is my first post to Reddit and I'm not usually much of a writer/blogger etc, so bare with me!

I'm an 29 year old male adult who was diagnosed with ADD late in life at the age of 25 years. For the last 4 years I've primarily taken Ritalin (30mg p/day) which has been an absolute game changer. 

For most of my life however, I've struggled with identify and self worth issues, the negative affects of having un-diagnosed ADD, but also regular mood shifts from feeling grounded, level headed, socially likable and intelligent to aggressive, angry, rude, socially unlikable and conflict orientated all in a matter of seconds. 

I first started taking anti-depressants and seeing a psychologist when I was about 20 years told to treat my panic attacks, anxiety, mood and self worth/identity issues. 

I've seen three difference Psychologists with my current one who I have been seeing for about 3 months working out reasonably well, although I put up pretty high walls so we have made some ground but I am resistant to letting people get too close, baby steps and all that. 

I tried a bunch of meds including venlafaxine (Effexor). fluoxetine (Prozac) and sertraline (Zoloft). For me, these med did fuck all and in fact (again just my own experience and each person is obviously very different!). After swapping in and out new anti-depressants for about 3 years to try and find the right one for me, I finally gave up and decided to just get on with life and deal with these feelings in the best way I knew how, drinking, taking pills, porn, cocaine, smoking bongs, and any kind thing I could get my hands onto to  give myself a quick fix of dopamine, or feeling of happiness (I have a very additive personality and even when I'm mentally stable I still find myself seeking out these things at unnecessary times. 

I start my journey today on meds which hope to improve my mood disorder. I met with my new Psychiatrist yesterday and along with continuing my Ritalin medication, he has now prescribed me with Lithium (450mg p/day for the first week then, 900mg p/day there after) and Agomelatine (50mg p/day) for mild bi-polar disorder. 

It would be great to talk to people with similar experience to myself, particularly with ADD/Bi-polar or anyone that cant relate to what I am saying in any, shape or form.  

Take care,

J",10.934831688180203,8.166277640091117,10.721211085801064,61.63608643381423,58.47608200455581,14.493596557833465,42.8399139458365,12.838901577100673,5.4894509238167535,1880,81,322,52,18,625,253,439,0.09,0.7859999999999999,0.124,0.9554,3,0,2,0,0,0,70.0,1,0,0,5,20,17,4,2,14,0,20,15,2,4,5,71,47,32,0,3,8,0,4,0,0,1,10,1,0,6,14,40,1,1,8,2,1,4,3,6,1,7,12,8,33,8,63,31,12,65,0,0,3,2,21,25,1,6,34,207,47,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06290871579254556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10699037963735128,0.0,0.06017883848266317,0.0,0.0,0.055004697580712136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08949328291126216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08255451530707264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08020464846038172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06280794463353769,0.0,0.0,0.20293077757759725,0.16220120787924178,0.1355088388397468,0.15968751071182608,0.0,0.16437726212209292,0.2704721934229136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07706217296518363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08773274849777653,0.05195777447364538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15389977011999004,0.0,0.0,0.1193268148205216,0.0,0.0,0.08617413321352438,0.1437975553913218,0.20073832321292895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07272492225516802,0.12329832082880375,0.07546304833881763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08672891407134098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0837408128031812,0.0,0.0,0.08073342595508404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08311434561883073,0.0,0.07813252157820996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16421254158839366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08191793977750156,0.0,0.06412282462462413,0.08873803124290078,0.0,0.0,0.08044073171965754,0.1666911584493399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07443513173026448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2621386759787907,0.07924714450372203,0.07927625093502877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06278999555690007,0.0,0.05782814226567976,0.0,0.0,0.15195112459841312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08254613562878378,0.0,0.10661146222388494,0.0,0.0,0.09229693246029494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10907340824834504,0.13737523807407695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07533973661817324,0.08003102284231825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07908048448967464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08088116354647518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0671798472312878,0.0,0.06255790717862605,0.0,0.0,0.12537232541116716,0.0,0.164130399154887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603789982262877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11135959220683564,0.0,0.0628223138570773,0.0,0.0,0.08223818732623145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17743983953531847,0.0632282926822552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1045236322006691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045870444728848166,0.0,0.0745656293461137,0.07516818930984757,0.0,0.10681732620382453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08663885715996368,0.12981443619576155,0.0,0.062440956603383224,0.06310066276251204,0.0,0.0707296687313617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057269369797443515,0.0,0.0,0.05588166431071796,0.0,0.0,0.2532897882290229
bipolarreddit,darkoblood,2020/04/02,"Depressive Bipolar and Latuda For years I’ve gone through manic depressive episodes and intense mood swings from irritability to anger and everything in between that I’ve had no control over. Now that I’m 18, today I had my first psychiatrist appointment through a mental help facility because independent psychiatrist don’t take insurance. We talked about normal things like how I’ve felt and experiences I’ve gone through mentally. I’ve been diagnosed with Manic Depression and Anxiety in the past but today I got a whole new diagnosis. She diagnosed me with Depressive Bipolar and wrote me a script for 30mg of Latuda (which I thought only came in volumes of 20mg). I later found out that she is a nurse practitioner and not a technical psychiatrist. Do I fill the script and start the Latuda or should I try and get second opinions? My only concern is that I don’t have the money out of pocket to see a psychiatrist and this was the only facility near me that took my insurance, I don’t want to be left without any options.",7.143830715532285,8.076201633507857,7.792369109947642,67.54450479930193,64.07853403141361,11.392844677137873,36.859075043630014,11.20814326018867,4.537052006980802,836,40,140,24,12,278,111,191,0.09300000000000001,0.872,0.035,-0.8462,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,1,0,0,2,3,7,1,0,11,0,13,4,0,3,0,32,28,13,0,3,4,0,1,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,8,16,0,1,3,0,1,5,6,5,0,2,13,2,17,1,24,13,1,22,0,4,1,0,6,8,0,3,10,92,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09514222147079188,0.0,0.10702921885462148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08528660371788706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16001745287251876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569186919346511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4820101395972656,0.28400730162396753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12574026769792154,0.13685684696783965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13433359766079878,0.0,0.0,0.11900565309102723,0.0,0.15340187452152998,0.0,0.0,0.07309614308023539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111897189410891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09377736731906974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15201042551587635,0.0,0.0,0.06835197015068117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2819886666221874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13512399524406452,0.0,0.0,0.13708011140841425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3192189612045496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335579942086133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111488543091525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09902758566286103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10519338634640744,0.11245273165653948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092948642648763,0.0,0.0,0.11107130523704804,0.0,0.0,0.26523280487099915,0.0,0.15544290944983055,0.09498833204489496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08252134925851297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15620225903504642,0.0,0.1348662964373334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09009614961516654
bipolarreddit,ta100909097778,2020/04/02,scared i’m manic i don’t think i am but i’ve been very Up for a few days not in a bad way and not all the time but i’m definitely feeling good which i don’t think is a bad thing??? like that’s what i’m supposed to be feeling sleep has been kinda spotty but it usually is so i’m not sure that means anything. i was at work today’ and my coworker who knows about the bipolar said i seemed really up and was going a lot faster than usual but i don’t think that’s mania it’s been really nice out recently (like so nice that i can go outside in just a sweatshirt and because of the “”quarantine “” situation have been doing a lot outside) anyways i always get happy when there’s nice weather so it’s not a big deal. HOWEVER i have just started a relationship and think it would probably be a deal breaker if i went crazy and did some dumb shit in front of her. i like her a lot and i want think so work out and i’ve been obsessing over this for the last few hours. she also has mental health difficulties and know i’m bipolar but we’re only about a month in and i don’t want to subject her to this shit i don’t know what to do if i actually am getting this way. it’s weird because i’m usually very perceptive and insightful at the start of an episode and then that goes away when it gets bad but i truly don’t think i’m having an issue right now but i can’t get away from thinking about how upset she’d be if this did happen i just want it to work out and i usually do some incredibly stupid stuff and i don’t want to make her deal with that. i don’t know what’s going on i think i’m just happy and that’s where i’m supposed to be?? but i literally have no idea i’m terrible at guessing my mood and usually rely on outside perception which is why what my coworker said made me think a little. i just want to be able to go out and have an outlet for this happy feeling but now i’m stuck under the “quarantine” and i feel like i don’t know how to process this. any thoughts?,0.8745067687210835,2.7019842201405173,3.1457120009139214,91.05899411663908,81.50585480093676,6.5077740332438445,21.65585194493631,7.590005382236693,0.738598492031759,1550,48,355,25,41,531,173,427,0.109,0.7240000000000001,0.16699999999999998,0.9732,1,2,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,3,22,25,4,3,21,0,42,6,3,4,2,88,97,40,0,9,21,0,4,4,0,1,3,2,0,0,29,23,0,0,25,0,0,6,15,12,0,0,15,6,36,12,41,75,8,51,0,0,0,0,13,23,3,11,24,231,65,3,0.07253407454636612,0.0,0.07078279359120998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05800547320888965,0.060354160606139774,0.0,0.0,0.049325657990928994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05968936304797365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13629630142407384,0.0,0.1816887674876936,0.08843219721305036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046778477488135635,0.22433833769033426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467016299829175,0.051818357348917335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15158424086780756,0.0,0.16489114445241496,0.060838140373634164,0.0,0.0,0.07990446067669385,0.0,0.06414164257389174,0.2316416133607272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07710032939654743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07143145255150234,0.0,0.0,0.08188214128494928,0.0,0.07570672888221594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19931415220378085,0.05912495174925678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14174593994291884,0.0726981980805623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849976290088056,0.0,0.06863349513632341,0.04841705799601888,0.0,0.0,0.07901087127358804,0.0,0.0,0.07309728694633318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05789600628747295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05516543220309075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07820400036644487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929343709910606,0.0,0.07161864803858232,0.07787445094317873,0.0,0.0619437033431466,0.13799303005906507,0.0,0.07261926229252506,0.0,0.0,0.06603229727769024,0.0,0.0,0.14891037035837096,0.0,0.08153133884870609,0.07258645778753793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10267998258950158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08303416173029599,0.0,0.0,0.0683625068544377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04818841611157307,0.4182921555457305,0.0,0.05758395305506536,0.04229520217156209,0.0,0.06875382148323103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3994301778797872,0.1196964157671238,0.2139123823025831,0.11514834438328085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06723981379227809,0.06545072032450751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.158417010439239,0.0,0.0,0.05152612545347196,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,That-One-Mistake,2020/04/02,"How young can you be to be diagnosed with Bipolar? I was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder, my parents don’t believe it. I’m a 15 year old transmale who’s prone to self harm and suicidal ideation, and mood swings most of all. I can get super hyper then super low in a matter of seconds. I read a book once about a bipolar women and how she grew up with a voice in her head that made her do things, and I haven’t related more in a mindful way before. Anyways, I’m getting off track, I heard once you have to be 18 to be diagnosed with bipolar, is this true? 

Sorry if this doesn’t belong here.",5.314982578397212,4.935286723577239,6.228710801393727,81.70243902439027,67.9430894308943,9.304994192799072,33.01858304297329,8.841846274778883,2.588877816492451,469,19,97,7,7,156,80,123,0.11699999999999999,0.785,0.098,-0.3204,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,2,0,2,5,6,0,0,6,0,13,8,1,3,2,17,19,8,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,2,6,8,0,0,0,2,0,1,3,2,0,1,3,2,11,3,16,12,3,13,0,1,0,0,10,6,0,2,5,66,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15405656500780446,0.20397651827991775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5512727555935543,0.0,0.0,0.20749406932331466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18917782272351494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18580513068461416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17130982879833198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18280455729691514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899770180265737,0.3856155460268825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20102983621966544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18109470406274916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1787607976234964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18887016067705487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2026658504990626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19803462240350195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12027872539114552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14370565802841834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165875017595687
bipolarreddit,poliarity,2020/04/02,Quarantine causing episodes I don’t know about you guys but this whole isolation thing is really having an effect on me. While i was able to work i was happy-ish and hadn’t been having any problems with my anger. Now I’m waking up every morning fuming. I don’t understand why and I’m worried it’s going to trigger another depressive episode,2.2301865671641816,4.975621179104478,3.879235074626866,82.16721082089555,83.4776119402985,6.932089552238806,26.285447761194035,8.07648339933343,2.2384343283582093,277,12,48,6,8,92,54,67,0.319,0.6809999999999999,0.0,-0.9761,0,2,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,2,2,4,2,0,1,0,9,1,1,3,0,10,14,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,4,0,7,0,6,10,1,5,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,32,10,1,0.27578891443807185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18754591902273648,0.289188723266745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2833111846807364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2375365878880563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323640550924209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15673719563318353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2730743847650524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15156637487195793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26389274501077625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1766774405677841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18322190020368345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2871059861484876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24885659905879484,0.3079084739801745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20077761434103444,0.2800770297243435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lordhagfish45,2020/04/03,"Isolation getting the me I know I’m not the only one but isolation is starting to hit me really hard. A strong depressive state is in the works and each day I feel it getting harder to do my work. I’m in college and have to do online courses so I feel less motivated to do that work. I live alone in my apartment with my cat. While she helps, it’s not the same as a human being. I’ve been reaching out and calling my friends and going on this subreddit but I still feel so lonely. I know I’ll be ok and I just have to push through but damn I don’t like waiting to get through it all. Anyone else out there that feels similar, you aren’t alone. We just have to push day by day",0.2521465517241381,2.345160468965521,2.348512931034481,94.36621767241378,85.6896551724138,5.556034482758621,21.47629310344828,6.9077264865688965,0.4556982758620691,528,18,121,7,16,177,86,145,0.149,0.6990000000000001,0.152,0.3563,1,6,0,0,1,0,10.0,1,1,0,5,8,7,1,0,6,1,13,0,0,1,1,27,28,12,0,0,7,0,5,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,6,10,0,1,7,0,0,3,4,3,0,1,1,5,17,4,18,24,4,17,0,2,0,0,7,7,1,0,7,82,23,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3759517613306807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269067369570197,0.1859648530586325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18532845874660647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3511511372196992,0.0,0.15632287170339054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15161723274389088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3670808098557044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402239270573821,0.0,0.2844736587398329,0.0,0.10314877696088752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625854247576954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12165343552605908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19949171775442864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08867013685203007,0.0,0.16026494197188892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12298688464923148,0.13803644534493936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11627145578001223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12846432302528898,0.0,0.14494352683228084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3963953535739641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Hause16,2020/04/03,"Feeling weird/normal after a long time while in relationship I've got to write my emotions, because I don't really know what is going on, so sorry if it will be longer. I Hope someone could relate or help me. Thank you for your time

Last two years were really rough to me. I've been many times to psychologist and recognized with bipolar 2 but never took any meds. Last year I graduated to another School but it wasnt bad, but it was change of People and here are some People that care about this stuff and without telling them, they told me that they think I am bipolar or asked me if I am. 

In my new class were sometimes situations when they didn't know what is going on and wanted to help me, I normally would not tell or I was angry, but when I was deppresed I usually stayed all the time in bathroom, when hypomanic it was same for them, but I don't want talk about this now. 

So few months ago I've met one girl in School. She kinda flirted with me, even tho I am really bad at relations and flirting so almost every girl that tried it on me stopped after a while. She was ok with that and so we went out for a few times.

Once she was talking about bipolarity and stuff, because she is kinda in to it, so I said that I am bipolar, but she was Good with it even though I said that it is hard with me. After a week I went to her place and didn't feel right. Well after a while really strong deppresion came with strongest panic attack I ever felt, probably it was because I wasnt home as always, so I cried for a few hours into her arms and then got home. 

That was my last big deppresion episode. It is almost three months from this episode. We started dating 6 weeks ago, but I don't feel any big episodes, not even episodes, I Just dont feel anything, it is extremely strange. Normally it changed after week or so, you know. But now, sometimes I have bad feeling, same when I had deppresion, Hope you know what I mean, but I don't feel hypomanic, she tells me sometimes that I am acting energized but I don't think so. Probably the Best thing is that she asks me every single Day how I feel and stuff like that. 

I really don't know how to feel, I would say that I feel normal, without episodes, but at the same time I feel empty, like it isnt me or like I was acting or something, even that I know it was for a Long time. Obviously, yes I am happy, but I Just dont feel right. Can somebody relate to this? I wasn't at psychologist for a while, can it be normal already or is it really that because I am dating her or it could get back? 

Thanks for answers, it will really help me, it does Hurt a lot.",4.0844459279038725,4.57404222429907,5.0828304405874505,85.84672897196265,70.6822429906542,8.357276368491322,26.31375166889185,8.418075326091056,1.4945845126835784,2030,59,442,30,35,667,207,535,0.065,0.778,0.157,0.9946,0,0,1,0,0,0,58.0,2,4,5,2,31,23,1,1,12,2,56,5,1,2,4,100,100,54,0,14,28,0,14,3,0,4,4,3,2,2,43,21,0,1,22,0,0,8,19,6,1,3,31,17,73,17,48,61,11,75,0,1,0,0,40,18,0,18,51,314,116,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10499339363056444,0.0,0.11860448239333846,0.0,0.06535290864928983,0.0,0.049277417261406165,0.0,0.0,0.08054593108748014,0.06209939170336135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04873462938499282,0.0,0.11072908176960068,0.06737353229884603,0.0,0.04553803387589731,0.14834359582313347,0.14440463549308766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062149796303390466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06773414858628653,0.060380738059650524,0.0,0.12529796828060755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09456783679703999,0.0,0.06505254533851842,0.03819326672570203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05182553877735658,0.0,0.1388153987895263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06661673714482977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564621916997875,0.05356965591665889,0.09979411584217196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3293884422007583,0.0,0.056862371577279525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030941031291289983,0.0,0.06731441251347517,0.04967257266924184,0.09473042743635364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06304288067877717,0.05305124633212092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11908570005325053,0.0,0.11880891479890285,0.11764154347448495,0.05832170404852975,0.0,0.0633983360857053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1952810519561756,0.14482141191168724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08679857889076745,0.0,0.0,0.10481914702658016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05034839501526344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06004177507244737,0.0,0.06451007905393302,0.06578225008740195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945408114683172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04567562866596852,0.057196940753241936,0.0,0.0,0.2320997983078592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06306945763649797,0.04013033470171317,0.0,0.0,0.0694842133164784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08211410459544458,0.0,0.061874346423071214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12770258483808428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2655737410546355,0.0,0.0,0.06358222489701136,0.0,0.10115046537641596,0.1126672967214552,0.04709568185163733,0.0,0.1198715762221487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06656796754323631,0.0,0.0,0.050178576937905804,0.0455919603231062,0.1757161066726724,0.06629413883393788,0.041917610117023635,0.06312273266223525,0.0,0.04951221272422282,0.0,0.0,0.20338493618873885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952007408970071,0.15528781752640444,0.10904725333613524,0.0,0.0,0.039344440615991065,0.07589408502887718,0.058185277811052816,0.0,0.24172961950631475,0.0,0.0,0.05658912340196956,0.06579777978185597,0.0402078253415156,0.0,0.057851252413956875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06522462526030935,0.0,0.06986129615086382,0.0,0.14251285914689674,0.0,0.0532476568714566,0.10979870575763656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11417571768807165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08413916649106709,0.0,0.0,0.07627400481055957
bipolarreddit,_Bipolar_kitty,2020/04/03,"Am I the only one? I think I see shit. Man. So. Last time I spoke w/my psych this is how it went. (Going to make it short). 

Psych: So how have you been? How are the meds working? 

Me: I’m ok. I don’t like that they make me drowsy, groggy and give me a whatever feeling all day. 

Psych: Ok. The meds are working then and I’m assuming your not having any hypomanic symptoms. Have you had any new symptoms?

Me: Well the other day I thought someone was in my house. And I looked all over and I didn’t see anyone. 

Psych: So after you searched did you see anyone?

Me: No, but I still felt weird like someone was there. (My neighbor’s house was broken into across the street, my gpa almost 90 so I’m paranoid about shit like that).

Psych: Sounds like your having some delusions. Do you still think there is someone in your house?

Me: Obviously not. ( I really believed that there was someone in my house that night and I didn’t sleep good at all because of it) 

I pretty much shut my mouth when I saw the direction this conversation was going in. I figured I shouldn’t elaborate more on my “delusions” with her, but does anyone else see shit or feel like that? Sometimes out the corner of my eye I think I see someone, an animal a bug w.e. Maybe it’s nothing ? Maybe it’s a spirit? Am I the only one?",-0.4555269037423209,1.7644408816793913,1.3144088624092345,97.02065816421523,98.19847328244276,3.9301433625023283,17.077266803202384,5.805643229342017,-0.4516275553900577,989,28,216,9,41,320,130,262,0.09300000000000001,0.795,0.11199999999999999,0.5049,0,0,0,0,0,0,48.0,0,8,1,2,15,13,3,0,12,2,23,8,6,5,4,34,47,17,0,1,5,0,3,5,1,1,2,2,1,1,13,8,0,0,9,0,0,3,7,4,1,2,15,13,41,9,16,31,6,28,1,0,8,0,15,14,3,4,16,139,54,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08874534027216814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12053635609135308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18590641056024326,0.09080699509856642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054025101982285,0.0,0.0,0.09985025639649862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11431185005090423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0775565135612999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0740349860964956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08962313241748722,0.06331386369571314,0.08509409446386257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08501737162853477,0.10073549200135412,0.07433461661434572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4090463470882523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0722413701936129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164889910668456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07442285082582539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183160241790808,0.0,0.1780718596131208,0.0,0.196885245821139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06514972254387605,0.0,0.0,0.08559477461972541,0.0,0.08316875064637921,0.0,0.08503827380869672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12010946421160085,0.13480692302549674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09016369415992946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056775575284593476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3531140676148637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2729174960602561,0.0,0.0,0.08868920841256332,0.0,0.3754592402300079,0.0,0.08765259324264663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415524053513281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1842310426084192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17036235725550095,0.0,0.07035851272242089,0.05167806936143378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07968470216971292,0.08215645233027392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12904040857561588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Gabriella_123,2020/04/03,"#Rant Depending what phase I'm in mindset, negative/depressed, or positive/optimistic/content possibly manic and how I feel about myself, is how much effort I put into how I look, does anyone do the same? Hey so I haven't worn makeup in like ah maybe 5/6 years, I haven't been manic in years I think and you know it's fucking unfair! But besides that, just I look at people admire how they look all nice neat and professional or just nice and here I am sneakers/flip flops no heels or makeup try make my hair look nice, but depending on how I feel about myself and my mindset is how much effort, which means I haven't felt good enough in the last 5/6 years to try put in extra effort. Here I am comparing myself to others again :/ anyway anyone relate?",3.640315315315316,5.399088797297299,4.528108108108111,84.56531531531532,73.18918918918921,7.095495495495496,22.46846846846847,7.793537801064563,1.0509171171171166,594,15,113,8,12,192,88,148,0.08199999999999999,0.821,0.096,-0.3125,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,1,3,15,8,1,0,2,1,9,3,2,9,1,30,23,17,0,0,7,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,0,6,0,0,2,4,1,1,0,3,8,18,7,12,20,6,15,0,0,4,1,3,8,1,5,6,76,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.229577247247296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14139586056653197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14366269701924295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16962727274878298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16601443679172465,0.0,0.1576250214164969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15176874150717698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13769457927305706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09022129263753584,0.13381713026820116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08020317289547989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5514320837049069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095820218937896,0.0,0.16492672530356176,0.17882480646514373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24136167088818106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11381197386273932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18507240085866505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33006417158246903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10519088851055043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22291575798781985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31715239731375383
bipolarreddit,slrose_87,2020/04/03,"Vraylar Convo 2.0 I am newly diagnosed with Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder Depression, I have gone my whole life undiagnosed and now life makes so much more sense. However, that now means I get to play the medication cocktail game with my psychiatrist (which took me 3 months to find).  
Earlier I was prescribed Zoloft by my PCP because I thought what I was dealing with was Anxiety/Depression, OOPS. Zoloft does not play well with BiPolar, neato.   


There was a post from about a year ago where someone was asking about Vraylar and how it worked out, it seems like most people felt more anxious on it. I definitely have that, but am more depressed, or rather depressed with mania.   


I am about to get it filled, but wanted to see how people have faired on it. I had a terrible time with Zoloft, and am really worried about trying another drug. (I know that's going to be my life for a while until I find something that works)   


Also, would love any tips and tricks for feeling like a person on the days that I feel like I am the worlds biggest train wreck.",8.288071065989847,7.500126868020308,7.546807106598988,76.04356091370559,62.04568527918782,10.72263959390863,35.43604060913705,9.888512548439397,3.2786877157360412,831,31,154,14,10,258,121,197,0.14300000000000002,0.757,0.1,-0.8742,1,0,2,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,2,14,12,1,0,8,0,16,12,0,3,0,31,33,13,0,3,5,0,3,3,0,1,11,0,0,1,12,11,1,0,9,4,0,4,1,5,1,0,10,4,18,7,24,21,6,21,0,3,1,1,5,7,0,3,12,103,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11486150841518993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10362206314588876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08811627876290189,0.13587197357981934,0.0,0.1463842558389444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12113628217635568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07898846623266607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08356594783199278,0.1335874019478384,0.4464152630736803,0.13151714440617626,0.0,0.0,0.14850558386059265,0.0,0.11339303079092387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15026728737222345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310352689560075,0.18513856711379556,0.12441349966099262,0.0,0.2368606508217681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13539646269723313,0.0,0.07364115676254597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07121170649242882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2745705667186044,0.1899132003441808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11694760524775068,0.0,0.08649313872389433,0.0,0.0,0.14114649944910174,0.0,0.13053441813970582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10342650938835664,0.0,0.09525343720613302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17966368339673858,0.11314096476978402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12409820875993878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08300984998932204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10325547785258003,0.11796133191666268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10978951794806438,0.09975411124901486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028690516526535,0.07555694088395204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14396395763160422,0.08797375356913019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07642741679503688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11650459093360532,0.0,0.0,0.14466723172690074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18866607523974116,0.13159094985843914,0.0,0.09204723502857988,0.0,0.0,0.08344284285385684
bipolarreddit,callmetiddieboy,2020/04/03,"Lithium and Marijuana Hi friends,
I am starting lithium today, a little nervous but excited because I've been trying to get help for years and finally got it. 

I am currently sober to test the meds but in the future is marijuana and lithium something I can mix? I used to smoke daily and I am wondering if it will have major side effects.",6.187153846153848,6.711977523076925,7.6305769230769265,69.29817307692309,66.07692307692308,10.192307692307693,39.32692307692308,10.125756701596842,4.357384615384615,269,15,45,6,4,93,47,65,0.022000000000000002,0.848,0.13,0.7846,1,0,2,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,1,3,0,8,0,0,2,0,10,13,7,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,5,2,5,10,1,9,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,2,6,30,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18760148186336864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33712497141434816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2377668083887299,0.0,0.16078662020249934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24613570754050965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20627827006098975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30844624737419785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34184076029315696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2369209073784907,0.0,0.0,0.21782696233462656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29171091978974795,0.0,0.0,0.20894198003589448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2657971023665642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3337416374922452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19818084483582432
bipolarreddit,bijoe7,2020/04/03,"no motivation does anyone ever have periods in which you don’t feel in the mood to do anything? like every activity doesn’t sound exciting, even the simplest ones such as reading or watching a movie, living in a permanent state of anhedonia? ive been experiencing anhedonia my whole life but now it’s getting more severe, and when i try to start an activity i istantly wanna quit like it annoys me. quarantine doesn’t help and now i understand why i did a huge use of weed and alcohol...",5.0151152073732685,6.692860311827957,7.101105990783412,67.81451612903228,69.53763440860214,10.905683563748081,32.640552995391715,10.914260884657429,4.170564976958525,391,18,68,13,7,138,70,93,0.094,0.7440000000000001,0.162,0.6726,0,1,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,2,6,5,1,0,6,0,8,2,0,2,1,11,13,7,0,1,2,0,1,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,3,1,0,3,1,0,0,4,1,0,1,2,4,8,3,9,11,2,11,0,0,1,0,2,4,0,1,8,48,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2594316250629069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16974017363219873,0.0,0.1997669555007572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2124368283782833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16033760839713732,0.21958609729346665,0.20453183855358786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122744390676158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12682964247632136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16271378308418918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17146527128660433,0.23719598795376454,0.0,0.21435740709869344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16449729664008214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25820017868367184,0.2428210266929849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2742444294683198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718234746138059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16481493667117478,0.0,0.0,0.2527168635584999,0.0,0.20966266609707296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21904893044427065,0.2710276607298235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,AmNotARobot123,2020/04/03,"What advice would you give to a teen who just got diagnosed? Im guessing:
-take your meds
-trust the doctors they know better
-keep it in private 
-put up a good reputation and act as healthy and normal as you can
-stay strong, stay conscious
-stay hopeful 
-but also realistic

I can tell this will be a long ride.",1.1950000000000005,3.7673618333333367,2.286666666666669,89.355,97.33333333333334,4.4,21.0,6.2581,0.5341999999999998,250,9,46,3,10,79,52,60,0.0,0.8009999999999999,0.19899999999999998,0.8481,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,3,1,2,2,5,0,0,4,0,5,2,0,0,0,11,12,6,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,5,5,5,8,0,9,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,2,1,28,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872886932418884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15327105424940335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1695083822498194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19453165438933284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19617292678535936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18385848177073785,0.0,0.16075596659749403,0.15328863203973475,0.0,0.21113595406838154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19036239736554186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20702652848685865,0.0,0.0,0.17035690502022324,0.0,0.0,0.10533175076457342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1696137565733207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21289191659498136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18778686818031085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19267201810726334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6128546615228727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14410505194600232,0.0,0.16751996702820424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361503170778432,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,FreeSkeptic,2020/04/03,"What to do when you have too much energy? Feeling hypomanic (?) right now. I'm undiagnosed  but getting checked at the end of the month. I have so much energy that I could go run right now, and it's already 12 am. I'm so energetic it feels uncomfortable, like I have to do something NOW.",1.664210526315788,3.9852177894736895,4.055350877192982,82.9082894736842,81.63157894736842,8.010526315789475,25.28947368421053,8.841846274778883,2.10182105263158,222,9,47,6,6,77,40,57,0.053,0.7240000000000001,0.223,0.8681,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,0,7,1,0,0,2,0,7,0,0,0,0,5,13,5,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,4,12,2,11,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,7,32,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33570536756996433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2428884273737042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694414254185597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3076373279885312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15893814823724986,0.0,0.17289061850989207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486225552583842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24281901540643225,0.0,0.4472614607851293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.51959055627177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2341971629853374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Risperdoll,2020/04/03,"I'm losing my goddamn mind again VENT This is a vent I will be mentioning minor suicidal thoughts and substance abuse 

Just went on Wellbutrin and Buspar on Monday for depression and anxiety I've been dissociating since December and I was so numb and unhappy I started self medicating with old Cymbalta like a month ago from before I went off them and I was scared to go to a doctor in case I was put on heavy duty meds again but I finally went on Monday and I've been taking them since then but I'm getting worse I'm so angry and agitated and I fucking hate everyone and myself and I just want to hurt something or someone or myself I don't even care I've been throwing shit at trees just to get the feelings out and it's not working I took two muscle relaxers and 5 benadryl because I can't fucking sleep I need to sleep I'm so goddamn upset I feel like crying every minute but I have so much fucking energies I don't know what to do I know I'm not going to hurt myself or anyone else I know I won't but fuck I keep having the thoughts because I'm so upset and I feel like everything is buzzing and I know I'm mixed but I don't want to go to the hospital because of coronavirus and I hate the hospital I've never had a good experience there and  I can't go anywhere else because of lock down and I don't know what to do I need fucking xanax or weed I just wish I could calm down and stop feeling fucking insane

I'm sorry if this is hard to read I just need to vent and I'm so so alone i have no one to talk to",0.2700498575498571,2.542023891975312,2.7277777777777783,90.30269230769234,87.85802469135803,5.6687559354226025,22.196581196581203,7.116496586553881,0.8462683760683758,1207,45,258,19,39,414,151,324,0.275,0.642,0.083,-0.997,0,1,1,0,1,2,0.0,0,0,2,2,16,24,9,3,8,0,25,13,3,0,1,62,73,38,1,8,17,0,5,3,0,2,4,0,0,1,5,22,0,3,11,2,0,10,11,17,0,2,13,5,37,7,29,56,1,32,0,4,0,6,5,10,7,5,15,158,42,4,0.0,0.1016816127387453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07607346346013016,0.0,0.0,0.08888271682433246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06565138466176536,0.0,0.0,0.0600067174795295,0.0879318203760208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20925813295092666,0.0,0.07302574218881898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08749830273396071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06851957659733089,0.0,0.09426826316732397,0.0,0.0,0.0739158741515119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08783949609928449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14338170956790142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05668271312882259,0.0,0.07230630197332209,0.08200383781303602,0.07712868290034383,0.0839475574990991,0.0,0.0,0.173570883448278,0.12261837942683344,0.0,0.09401064078571647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4760303089113119,0.08967388640237206,0.0,0.19509191287605973,0.07198099825633597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07687706644784767,0.16945720893525282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837422655607908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07627996859313241,0.0,0.0,0.2358196939310298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12578064754953905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09600963300994377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09532568527039834,0.08645372523531161,0.0,0.0,0.08665283736158491,0.0,0.0684999952666776,0.0,0.06308692071637707,0.19090134915430587,0.06618898862466173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09005272017785397,0.0,0.05815325031431043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08627190948469501,0.0,0.0,0.08584233440474824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08591990091005483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08952804874017999,0.0,0.0880920837100528,0.14198091012894706,0.0,0.17176217613984476,0.0,0.07271425386246153,0.0660677440319609,0.0,0.0960674681294661,0.060743208144956824,0.0,0.0,0.0717486191323542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938721779196208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06452529080196577,0.06897815027761432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13626157535367134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09534818949857392,0.0,0.0,0.0838328009878664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012366697796298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2386655257514675,0.0,0.0,0.09868774181258526,0.0,0.0,0.0624773345698922,0.0,0.08745700536652727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,pyblius,2020/04/03,Out of refills I just found out I'm out of refills for my Latuda with a week left and I have no idea when I'm going to see my doctor again. Any advice where I can go? I'm out of state from my psychiatrist and I doubt anyone is taking in patients right now and I don't think i can afford an ER bill to get my meds. I know I can't stop these meds though I just became stable a few months ago.,0.1676685393258417,1.5575849101123609,2.5375140449438227,96.68469803370786,81.92134831460675,4.899438202247191,15.619382022471907,5.148860815047168,-1.0069224719101126,303,4,76,1,8,104,59,89,0.06,0.887,0.053,-0.1561,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,7,1,0,1,3,0,6,1,0,0,0,16,17,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,8,0,1,4,0,1,2,3,1,1,0,1,1,13,0,13,16,1,18,0,0,1,0,0,8,0,1,7,48,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2213806326704007,0.20082163092661745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540607907427607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15840802196560405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23188205274334145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2483988047037973,0.0,0.0,0.11836227312228755,0.0,0.25750553703195905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2557457507488214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12450516483889325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2461456753278448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5032887610074923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808289006734837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19347123398404809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805298724574308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18940474188405546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17033632419873085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14516317080683122,0.22258281177288067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817235911216652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Mellamellamella,2020/04/03,"I'm so sick of this - kind of negative I'm sick of having good days and making plans and waking up depressed, barely able to move, and so irritable I get angry when anyone talks to me or looks at me or touches me. I'm sick of lashing out at people.

I'm sick of going back to normal and feeling ashamed for acting normally and feeling good after being so terrible. I feel awful for being so nice and fun after being the opposite, like I don't deserve it.

I'm sick of feeling my brain declining, forgetting the words for everyday things like floor, table, car, plant, and feeling dumb for stumbling over what I'm saying. I'm sick of forgetting what I was talking about in the middle of speaking and just standing there trying to figure it out and asking people what I was saying because it feels like there is nothing in my head.

I used to be intelligent, I used to be able to have good conversations, I always won at Scrabble. I was known as the smart one in my family. I was able to give informed answers on various subjects, I used to read all the time. Now I can barely focus on anything, I can't read without forgetting what I read, I have to read the same line over and over. I can barely remember what I did the day before or even an hour earlier.

I'm sick of going to bed hoping I'll wake up happy, knowing that all the exercise and healthy eating won't make me better, because they certainly didn't prevent any of this.

I'm sick of feeling like I'm always crossing my fingers for good days, and knowing that when they do come there's nothing I can do to keep them from slipping away. All the good times, the nights I go to bed after a day full of laughter don't mean that I won't be suicidal the next day.

I'm sick of feeling like I'm waiting for my husband to leave me, like he'd be better off if he did. He left me in February and we got back together, but now I just feel like we're postponing the inevitable. Marriages involving a bipolar person have a 90% divorce rate apparently.

I'm sick of waiting for the delusions and hallucinations to get worse, and worrying that it'll turn out to be the onset of schizophrenia. I'm sick of feeling like there's more going on than I know. 

I'm sick of feeling like I stumbled into a life that a normal person should have. A good job, married to someone who is affectionate and kind. I only see other people when I'm feeling good, so in everyone's eyes I'm a healthy person, and I just feel like I'm declining every day.

I rapid cycle and I'm just so tired of not knowing who I'll be day-to-day. My sense of self is getting more and more unstable, and I feel less and less connected to reality. I don't feel real to myself, I look in the mirror and barely even recognize myself. It feels like I'm not even real and I hate when I do connect to reality because everything seems so confusing like I'm seeing everything for the first time. 

I used to be so much more than I am now, and I am just so disappointed in who I've turned out to be so far. I'm young, I'm only 24, but so much has already gone wrong, and I know there's more to come. Everytime I think I've got a handle on my issues new ones come up, or old ones come back. I wish I could give my life and the good things to someone who deserves it and can appreciate it and make sure the good things stay.

I'm not going to harm myself, I wouldn't want to go to the hospital and take up their time with everything going on. I just wanted to type this out, thank you if you read this far, sorry to be such a downer. Hope you are doing well.",5.3980284830133405,4.876449347885406,6.627459488237449,79.38973546734105,67.79945429740792,9.443170398961836,31.111336638605128,8.9110942124816,2.387538541909293,2784,97,572,42,41,947,278,733,0.127,0.716,0.157,0.9157,2,0,0,0,1,0,70.0,1,3,4,5,38,46,2,2,29,1,50,24,6,7,5,123,143,53,1,13,18,1,18,12,0,5,17,3,2,4,29,41,1,4,29,6,0,16,13,9,1,4,11,26,66,37,96,113,15,85,0,2,5,0,33,36,1,10,43,365,95,7,0.14022508149533647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051580621449215235,0.0,0.07778566733412673,0.0,0.0,0.03178595464658815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032682879125693634,0.0,0.03846443137313112,0.0,0.04369717406785258,0.0,0.04391535999742803,0.10782443209219228,0.0,0.08547990815740612,0.0,0.03977373876242147,0.0,0.0,0.08267845954149819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0521791887225285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610553217746301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037319439118432364,0.0,0.0,0.2411562054211648,0.0,0.04025855240603619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047828421866567286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09261734383342918,0.0,0.03938189300599814,0.04466369152754822,0.1260252614825577,0.0,0.04406390904038005,0.0,0.3781440773136859,0.2671382033028385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0397584608953057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07326181750450803,0.08967778374546682,0.1859506723714987,0.3528424362730756,0.07476720498453296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04975740224219364,0.0,0.046147745696118216,0.04797046285040201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09285009720412413,0.04603115302708208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048786184487071615,0.04638391876636461,0.041546165128787865,0.0,0.097348562640321,0.12844006264523886,0.0,0.0,0.04949270480005343,0.05078498711257804,0.0,0.06603008133899202,0.2740275671046615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07850250124457453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09360133076373983,0.0,0.0,0.050915407379898255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04967902332452242,0.06872104626915967,0.0,0.0,0.045143419168661963,0.049710321663051886,0.043863913291947484,0.13739080726157152,0.08969983172409128,0.0,0.04904754487723382,0.0,0.09502014427487304,0.07109832884091855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09721441552452427,0.1224391324281956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23377171398975816,0.10640456127927134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05294922736274965,0.0,0.0,0.07434174201849786,0.0,0.0,0.07449415663285346,0.04255188256920316,0.04876178065118608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792081710022731,0.0,0.0,0.05232349944583878,0.0,0.049820426444418885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05112782656807025,0.0,0.04405349327122687,0.0,0.03514393668592676,0.07513840591617964,0.0,0.043033471735683684,0.0,0.0,0.09315931331083684,0.029950190060527675,0.0,0.0,0.10902183024021968,0.05372270107869618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031734541906413165,0.10168308134741692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16147926390294312,0.0,0.0,0.05513892411502303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0420263962065314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05375064113361455,0.04505732487260066,0.0,0.0,0.04746845898198316,0.04763377926920328,0.0,0.05110470457102445,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,C-Ron,2020/04/04,"I accidentally took two Lamictal (25mg each) instead of one, while on my first week. How screwed am I? I was prescribed 25mg Lamictal and 0.5mg Xanax for Bipolar, severe anxiety, and OCD. I accidentally took two Lamictal instead of one Lamictal, one Xanax.

I know that I'm supposed to take one per day and then increase the dosage to two after a week.

Am I screwed? This isn't really meshing well with my anxiety, and now I'm afraid to take a Xanax. I'm not susceptible to seizures or anything else.",3.6311224489795935,5.423308795918372,5.201785714285716,79.58696428571429,73.28571428571428,8.981632653061224,32.65816326530612,9.516144504307137,3.1919755102040823,394,20,78,10,8,133,58,98,0.20199999999999999,0.774,0.024,-0.9358,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,5,4,2,1,3,0,4,6,0,1,0,10,12,8,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,1,0,0,3,2,3,1,8,3,0,8,1,10,9,2,12,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,1,8,49,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26489653918938505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424758568967979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111658146847589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446325878855169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14726906346296506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09515080468883146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4692846869944637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109151066955956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1955939609217512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2603528670673094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3847200717284418,0.0,0.0,0.5073850071856456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2777578897798331,0.0,0.15566970830075932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mortalmeatball,2020/04/04,"I think I’ve been in denial for a long time. Just wanna talk Hi there, a little background for anyone who might relate.

I’ve been on a long ass journey of self-discovery and self-knowledge for the past 4 years, really getting cemented over the past 2. I’m now 27. I’ve struggled with anxiety my whole life and even shyness, although I’m not bad at being extroverted and social and friendly. I’ve felt like I swing between shy/exhausted/self-conscious and fun/social/pretty confident on about a weekly basis. 

I’m not seeking to place blame on potentially having bipolar disorder, nor my adoption nor anything else, however I’ve identified with a lack of foundation that logically could be rooted in my closed adoption and never truly feeling like I fit in with or am understood by my parents. This feeling has underpinned my entire life for as long as I remember. In friend groups, schools, sports, and work, I’ve become close with people and they have with me, but I’ve never genuinely felt like I “belonged.” Always on the periphery type of feeling, not fully integrated by no fault of anyone else. Lately I’ve realized that I deliberately prevent myself from being integrated and I’m having a lot of trouble figuring out why. Putting up walls when I want to be close with people. Why do I feel scared? And like I need the distance? I have no problem opening up to people and being vulnerable in that sense. I’m not sure which goes deeper - the ability to be vulnerable, or the inability to feel like part of a group. 

My life is full of amazing people who seem to have the balance down. This balance, in my eyes, is largely about confidence in ones self. I’ve really struggled with being self confident, and I worry that my perceived lack of foundation is getting in my way. I know everyone experiences these feelings sometimes, but for me, it’s almost every day it seems like. Constantly questioning myself. I’m not a social pariah and have always had a wide group of friends/acquaintances yet I still feel deeply deeply misunderstood and afraid. I’m really tired of living in this fear. 

I have dealt with anxiety and depressive symptoms since I was 13/14. I worry sometimes that I don’t know myself and that i won’t be able to live a fulfilled and balanced life due to this feeling. 

As far as bipolar, I talked about swinging from shyness to outgoing behavior. I’m a big ‘start a project and finish it way down the road’ type of person, much to my chagrin. I have been considered flaky by some friends and have really been working to honor my commitments, especially in the past year. I know it’s human nature to some degree, but some days, like today, I feel just...icky. Unsure. Self-conscious. Like I don’t even know what I want. My relationship with the present moment is strained and painful. (Tolle, anyone?) Other days, I feel like I can move mountains. The difference is drastic, in my opinion. 

I think I’ve come a very long way and have awakened to many uncomfortable truths about myself that I want to confront healthily. I am genetically inclined to experience “manic depression” or bipolar according to my medical records. My manic side doesn’t get too far off course. I’ll post on Instagram like 3x in a day when I’m feeling confident - that’s my “high” part of the spectrum, I think. Maybe buy a bunch of stuff online or something. I’ve been working hard to observe myself and figure out what’s going on at the root of my feelings and issues. 

Can anyone here relate? I’m just in my feelings today but don’t want to distract myself. Now I have the time to really think and work on this stuff. I’m considering doing some research on medication but I have heard lots of negatives. I have no formal diagnosis and until the quarantine I was seeing a truly amazing therapist about once a month. Overall, I’m worried about how these issues are affecting my quality of life in the short and long term. 
I’ve gone back and forth on the topic of “believing” that I am bipolar. I’m just not sure if I’m in denial, or if this could be something else. 

Thanks in advance, and thanks for reading my novel :p",5.113276306434411,6.77255989304124,5.9289619623178105,76.3848969072165,69.27061855670102,8.753785993601138,31.291681478848204,9.223106411051027,2.9417114113046567,3271,139,567,66,58,1072,332,776,0.157,0.7140000000000001,0.129,-0.9570000000000001,2,1,2,0,0,0,98.0,0,0,1,6,22,36,1,7,34,0,52,16,2,4,6,129,108,51,0,13,21,1,16,10,3,2,14,1,0,4,29,44,0,1,33,3,1,7,19,15,0,1,13,19,64,21,104,82,15,101,0,2,2,1,22,52,1,19,48,369,93,10,0.05144666055337404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05151639908948406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08561548577291253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07871310901525769,0.0,0.0,0.14389080501343274,0.05271318342199964,0.0423362180958584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03955930635270719,0.0429558126336204,0.0,0.0568187946223617,0.0,0.0579627689964759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04431674266808712,0.0,0.05559556329719845,0.0,0.08215194439799921,0.0,0.0,0.1327153599235564,0.0,0.08862186669818177,0.0,0.0,0.053750810414749696,0.05896233012381081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12893125020314794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06796006818098414,0.0,0.04334603039249287,0.04915948885695176,0.0,0.1006494117227583,0.0,0.05789179614556821,0.33816870587469056,0.11026051373657776,0.0987937240899488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11924268697373233,0.0,0.08063627026958821,0.0,0.02923832278124017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04608610270185827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0543562214923071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10739389471137356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11309495677490693,0.0,0.05803407396300981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18169148903677645,0.2513423967517769,0.05156306939715426,0.09085668763028823,0.22764337828870715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08747622210497445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052158838928451225,0.051685085427032235,0.0,0.0,0.10365419608865307,0.0,0.054576776798777565,0.0,0.0,0.041064233623931336,0.054679658353805775,0.03781921503536174,0.03814704692205799,0.07935767240956397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0547890144519804,0.03486158864100642,0.0,0.054742874088058106,0.0,0.057125428242722674,0.11142343987766368,0.14733497642753,0.14266654675615045,0.04492123960500236,0.053750810414749696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049271679639641935,0.052339749191111284,0.0,0.049227506126306116,0.0,0.051718103519133314,0.057632033941162814,0.0,0.051460582750361306,0.0,0.1647902405876204,0.0,0.0,0.05523446005908695,0.058279037479869136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051507082156425514,0.05206676708613642,0.04099632763944317,0.09367021513270296,0.3220205223415434,0.0,0.0,0.042557209244872,0.0,0.0,0.1573301748102916,0.0,0.07921230550082417,0.10176412554998204,0.0,0.036414211134186816,0.0,0.04108536957428514,0.0,0.0,0.1075664397559235,0.11778823565583114,0.0,0.0,0.09697573745067273,0.05347277888945996,0.0,0.08270175397587243,0.0,0.09473034592142766,0.0,0.059733538153482986,0.0,0.13185977102998506,0.0,0.0,0.05999792298351439,0.05913036819660504,0.09753083740894768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04244888288669325,0.12137829332557094,0.12250789350699275,0.04126740788118994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09284521826652163,0.05743835924167464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.149815126438505,0.15673974321684803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06625992530270021
bipolarreddit,owls47,2020/04/04,"Anger I had my manic episode in 2017 and was diagnosed bipolar 1 with psychotic features. Initially I coped so poorly and was eating for comfort and having a lot of SI. I would say that I’ve been doing much better over the past year and have made strides in my professional life. That being said, I’m filled with such anger sometimes. I used to have frequent outbursts where I would scream and cry about how unfair this was. These happen far less frequently. But still I’m angry that this happened and took away three years of my life (in the sense that during that time I was totally miserable). I used to be such a happy bubbly popular person and to have that go away was really painful and still is. My life was soooo good before my episode and nowadays it can really be a struggle and I sometimes feel like I’m acting or performing. Even though I haven’t had SI in a few months I found myself feeling that way last night. 

Just wanted to express how I was feeling to people who might understand. Thanks for reading.",5.6453492935635765,6.626156321428574,5.58183673469388,81.89722919937206,67.41836734693878,8.479748822605966,29.362637362637358,8.617729084823388,2.16417786499215,813,28,151,12,13,254,121,196,0.12300000000000001,0.765,0.11199999999999999,-0.6335,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,2,12,13,2,2,6,0,24,7,0,5,1,31,42,16,0,3,3,0,3,1,0,3,6,3,0,1,12,12,1,0,5,1,1,4,1,6,0,1,14,6,17,7,19,22,5,25,0,1,0,0,5,9,0,3,12,107,29,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25248883433467384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11433841072740585,0.0,0.0,0.1188387609451566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14759840940356747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13638205064200815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13749337914870627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08874968114818214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20382352544990476,0.09599348263646122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14732904471079086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07636519190158111,0.11270262645083748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23764472544862025,0.1430386599630373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10952894532930366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2847271137470274,0.06564607178243438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11423600693261725,0.0,0.12714351748523656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14254463447823082,0.0,0.0,0.10725232443890084,0.0,0.09877692490608933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12609652223151147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14297845044863178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12827073829194094,0.0931547809914014,0.11732612395584913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13440570126067436,0.0,0.17216087858576656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12781601166680265,0.10685589157050568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2657894241904716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2146150554094531,0.0,0.0,0.1404720078437848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12370923426966395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13201719334617626,0.0,0.0783518421458856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14928927972842534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13988322069787068,0.0,0.23210393307981045,0.0,0.0,0.07925451753717584,0.10665612692761932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19090424637497025,0.0,0.0,0.17305889770023633
bipolarreddit,magnoliamahogany,2020/04/04,"I think I need help My mom just told me that it's not easy to live with me. She said, ""Two weeks out of the month, you're the most pleasant person to be around. Then for one week it's like a storm coming. Then you snap at everyone and everything. It's like walking on eggshells.""

I know I have major depression, but I didn't think I had anything like bipolar disorder. I take Lexapro, and two days ago I switched the time I take it to the evening. Yesterday I felt like if I had a gun, I would have killed myself. I kept googling ""ways to kill yourself"" and having crying fits. But this morning I woke up and I was fine.

I'm shocked that apparently my whole family thinks I'm unbearable to be around. I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm so worthless and that no one would want to be around me; my own mother said it's impossible to live with my behavior. I don't want to hurt anyone, but now I'm worried if I can even do my job? I work at a school, and if I'm really like this and didn't know, maybe I'm yelling at the kids too. How can I ever have a relationship with someone if I'm terrible? I don't know. I don't really know what I'm doing posting here, except maybe to get some advice.",1.7021912202380949,3.040637976562504,3.407254464285717,92.34682291666668,77.4375,7.0636904761904775,23.127976190476193,7.793537801064563,0.8298882440476194,926,28,220,14,21,309,131,256,0.17300000000000001,0.7140000000000001,0.113,-0.9705,2,0,0,1,1,0,32.0,0,1,0,1,12,15,2,0,9,0,23,1,0,1,1,45,53,18,2,9,10,2,2,6,0,2,1,3,0,2,12,15,0,1,10,0,0,2,8,7,0,4,11,5,34,8,25,37,5,25,0,3,0,0,11,10,0,6,17,138,46,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10473737568292524,0.09501070780177212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07494440822428297,0.0,0.08820196151802998,0.2862451113275277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09232812488268627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11773480527102913,0.06912376444634619,0.0,0.09231602192796813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12284028679223233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14158589472705518,0.09695259386029598,0.0,0.10241735184255993,0.0963286068606658,0.0,0.10104200350218774,0.0,0.05419462891564912,0.07657110961534869,0.10291188776799333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05599836678193552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07184208618522163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11474094848581015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10636196798021946,0.0,0.23716283354415146,0.0,0.2945231492677732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31418336455024576,0.0,0.1892880003565152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21535820254748514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12553070136868075,0.0855519485860667,0.0,0.0,0.07947437243987067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14525910145347828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09358751502109786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10265108663377608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373275470751421,0.0,0.0,0.11507375811344235,0.0,0.0,0.2039099649504336,0.0,0.0,0.10847428498458372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09081527792370073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.161175612923762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20603441284887816,0.0,0.0,0.062498904391643725,0.0,0.0,0.10241735184255993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2094032109642733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264378827223761,0.08507637978978058,0.17195047104321473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11966529320172255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07803004502568267,0.10884890385702443,0.0,0.15227856697909944,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Throwawaywifebipolar,2020/04/04,"Help please. Wife may be bipolar and these incidents are getting more frequent. How do I approach her to seek help? Do I find a psychiatrist and plan something? So my wife may be bipolar or have tendencies which need to be further evaluated, according to her previous therapist. My wife has events, from mild to extreme with the latest one this morning. I need her to get help but don't know how or what the best way to proceed is and would like some advice. Should I find a psychiatrist and bring her on or have her find one? The problem is she has said she would get help or speak with someone but hasn't and its hard to talk to her about this as she gets in horrible moods and blows up at me.",4.207608695652176,5.446771355072464,4.5847536231884085,86.77147826086956,70.95652173913044,8.128695652173914,29.017391304347825,8.548686976883017,1.9430121739130444,549,21,115,9,10,173,82,138,0.055,0.8,0.145,0.8881,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,4,4,0,0,5,0,19,2,0,2,0,29,28,16,0,6,6,3,1,1,0,5,2,2,0,0,6,8,0,0,4,0,0,2,2,1,0,2,1,3,16,2,17,19,3,12,0,0,0,0,19,5,0,7,5,83,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16403536366885338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17616356204789674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4602756640982558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35080934193901625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15037372736227295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4500644648496046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09225400499873558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08201017406101467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24893897714210855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274988214834245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18426494373261024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16062377052905571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15967769403353704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14223114760866404,0.12923038543935847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13492322279019886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19490376174320329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13324312173616198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2384924192583205,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bowlbysaur,2020/04/04,"Delusions not always about yourself? I was convinced for so long I could never possibly have had a manic episode because I never feel great about myself or like I’m really confident - but I’ve been looking back at my paranoid episodes in more detail. One in particular sticks out, I was at a theme park and having the absolute time of my life, running around like a child, screaming and laughing (Which seemed reasonable because I was having fun) but I also became completely obsessed with a man I saw - he had a camera and was taking photos. I purposefully tried to tail him and keep him in sight because I was convinced he was a pedophile and that he might try to take a child from the playground. Any time I thought he looked at me I thought “he knows you’re onto him” 

Afterwards I obsessively googled news stories from the area to see if anyone had been arrested or anything (never found anything)

I’m starting to think I may have been delusional or manic at the time - it was years ago and I never thought it was unusual until now (having recently experienced very high energy and productivity, and inability to control spending) and looking into why I felt so agitated when I was being very productive. 

Does anyone experience these types of suspicions/obsessions? Could it be to do with BP/Mania? (I’m not diagnosed but I’m going to check with my therapist what he thinks because the more I look into it the more it would explain about the big picture of my personality and moods throughout the years)",7.1690006325110724,7.854666422939073,7.474387518448242,70.70609108159395,63.9820788530466,10.292304448661183,36.48344929369597,10.194018383442646,3.919763904701666,1208,56,201,26,17,394,157,279,0.092,0.835,0.07200000000000001,-0.7692,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,1,10,11,0,2,15,0,28,2,0,2,4,50,54,22,0,4,9,0,2,2,0,3,2,1,0,4,9,17,0,2,12,0,2,2,6,3,0,1,21,11,26,7,32,26,3,35,0,0,7,0,14,15,0,7,20,143,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09852279807412123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08888213069989709,0.09248103833166164,0.0,0.0,0.07558199835073971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554294872462327,0.0,0.18292473017910085,0.09894207349718097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08546317746493823,0.0,0.27101036077970736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11653278115252448,0.0,0.12465788723091835,0.17747950736490795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112809219036002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09726320705491784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10872054301345296,0.0,0.0,0.05619794447272648,0.0,0.10671604677597736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12186408986304867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06316591970423348,0.0,0.0,0.12253708534394395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11743015315541867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09879024302265724,0.0,0.0,0.061082051559922926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07850457150574519,0.10859907232215683,0.0,0.0,0.09835929004389364,0.3733331898045261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11790663666930185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3428856299892565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07531431694408659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09704699668083552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12529860303580392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07120194398891873,0.11427494678486845,0.10974167924794444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08856769108189166,0.1011816808375016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07866857322167803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16713350246470166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12904720639699546,0.0,0.1424336780775043,0.0,0.2647086986029106,0.19442756757728968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15091949388969872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18341152794685345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10029052702209038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07895378769727747,0.0,0.0,0.14314668979454173
bipolarreddit,stardust_peaches,2020/04/04,"Legal advice A couple of weeks ago I realized I was slowly tip toeing into another manic episode (with psychotic features).

I contacted my outpatient therapist and psychiatrist and requested that they contact the on call doctor at my preferred mental health hospital. They advised me I could be directly admitted. I told them I felt I should go because I stopped taking my medication and I felt it was necessary. However, I explained that I was not a threat to myself or others.

Three beers later, I’m dancing naked in the bathroom with my bunny mask on at midnight. The door was locked and my fiancé asks me to come out. I come into the living room and I was just completely disoriented. Time felt like it was going back and forward and I felt like I was spinning and melting but being propelling into a wonderful new existence.

Then, I see lights coming from near the windows. The windows have blinds but a small crack where light can shine through because the blinds are broken. I said, “oh my god, the police are here” and my fiancé says, “just fucking relax, the police are not here. Sit down.”

And then the rest is a blur.

The next thing I remember, I wake up in my bed at home with a horrible headache and my fiancé tells me the police came and they were doing a welfare check and that I fucking exploded and screamed and told them to fucking leave. It was apparently an awful situation and now I am embarrassed.

So, I decide to go to the hospital because I don’t want to keep having the police come for no reason. The police scare me. So I take my therapist’s advice and I have a friend call hospital and make sure I can be directly admitted and they say yes.

We go to the hospital and the police are called again for no reason. The nurse at the emergency room said I needed to get naked and go through the emergency room and I said no, I don’t want to be around the virus. I was told I could be directly admitted. Nurses start laughing at me. I have a panic attack and duck and cover and run for dear life. I thought, “they’re calling the police now” so I run. I always just run because I don’t want to go to jail again.

I was chased down, cuffed, detained and hospitalized against my will after stating I was not a threat to myself or others. Can I sue the hospital for this?",3.7346245566833782,5.680830142533939,4.953534303534305,80.82524948024948,73.36651583710406,8.126794667971138,27.78305001834413,8.841846274778883,2.340031845420081,1801,70,332,37,37,595,207,442,0.12300000000000001,0.768,0.10800000000000001,-0.9134,2,0,1,0,0,0,43.0,1,0,6,0,15,17,6,3,34,2,38,12,2,3,1,78,81,35,0,8,10,0,4,2,1,2,6,6,8,0,10,40,1,2,16,3,1,16,9,10,0,1,24,16,64,7,43,48,1,57,0,0,4,3,30,24,3,4,19,243,74,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16312694452526671,0.07398890014108253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06945164412522163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08752294849576947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07430376865897663,0.0780308426127468,0.0949563278419486,0.0,0.06418135321771648,0.0,0.20352404634146776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34091858753133936,0.09546458081974196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2875994325360055,0.08751408279503092,0.0,0.0,0.13328400942928484,0.09235519809195887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08543252022091972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32056754711406665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06448678129874051,0.2314930685956405,0.0436083223012792,0.0,0.2846190130613292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08872204642411416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08372470523104804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07418974662511743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08838002779619786,0.0,0.0,0.058955561710571765,0.08155600606687227,0.0,0.07370332923686618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05571520252719149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08408472221870775,0.08411560542852599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06189009157259553,0.0,0.08061342892978135,0.08876863020696578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0979311239056472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17163697725945992,0.0,0.0,0.09455240332918646,0.0,0.2381901111498909,0.13275340785184808,0.0835655257354951,0.0,0.06651278870758745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09382096402144566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05907872413409521,0.0,0.0,0.06978256509941261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07866712832850555,0.0,0.12551434049596222,0.0,0.07295427154534842,0.0,0.0,0.19382439504833607,0.055452096311627036,0.0,0.0,0.06626386937932202,0.048670568854283836,0.0,0.0,0.23927031153172645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14769387727824038,0.0,0.06695259158458361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09051694024533194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,maikakun,2020/04/04,Dr. Patrick McKeon on BPD [I have found his YouTube posts to be informative and validating.](https://youtu.be/vHGf82yy33Q),11.634117647058822,16.689192705882355,5.772058823529411,68.81926470588239,63.11764705882353,8.105882352941178,37.911764705882355,8.841846274778883,3.9444352941176466,104,5,14,2,2,26,17,17,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,3,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,2,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,7,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6542621815047327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5695789211123132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4975146736300364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Peter779,2020/04/04,"Lamictal and Paroxetine / BP1 Anyone else taking or used to take Lamictal and Paroxetine for BP1?
I'm hoping to stop paroxetine (Paxil) or replace it with another SSRI.
I've been SSRIs for a long time, and only started on Lamictal (after BP1 diagnosis) 4 years ago.

I've talked with my doc about it.

In the past I've found it pretty much impossible to get off SSRIs.",3.0155714285714303,5.515852842857144,5.504285714285714,73.41071428571429,77.71428571428572,9.142857142857146,25.714285714285715,9.606745405546679,3.0340000000000003,289,11,49,9,7,102,49,70,0.032,0.882,0.087,0.5859,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,11,9,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,12,7,1,11,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,3,8,25,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22133493992034084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26182152336396103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17458891187607567,0.2558367043484609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2085837861813641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2737719749696165,0.0,0.0,0.1304526135430572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2479983078619277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2209676133649207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1835507307201382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18990034232915728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2383571645491257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2540242889958054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1767317237025634,0.0,0.0,0.20875185094405405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3754713066398143,0.20069120101930854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14559612878027184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21565181625324575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16079204308445622
bipolarreddit,Proto101889,2020/04/04,"Mixing Adderall with Mood Stabilizer? Similar situation? 
Long description is long...

So I have been taking Adderall XR at about 25 mg a day for almost 4 years now. I started having symptoms of depression when I was 18, I'm 30 now. It took me until I was 26 to finally get help with symptoms that seemed very much on par with either  ADD or bi polar depression. Symptoms like, being very motivated and on top of everything going on in life for a period of time before falling into these depressive slumps that would last from a few days to sometimes months. 
This was very difficult while trying to get an Electrical Engineering Degree when I was in College. It would seem like the depression episodes would cause a massive lack of caring for my schoolwork or to even get to class even once during the week. One semester it actually caused me to fail a class entirely because I never went. 
I eventually changed to another school for a fresh perspective thinking it may have been the environment. This continued at the new school but because it was smaller, I was able to be more accountable.

The severity of these episodes were different as well. Some of these got to the point where I laid in bed and began to cry over nothing, I don't cry over things, that's not in my personality outside of this.  It was alarming. Only a couple times did I reach that point. The lack of motivation to get things done suddenly would cause a massive amount of anxiety that I think made things even worse. 

Im a single guy who loves to workout and build things in the garage. I'm super introverted and would rather woodwork in my garage all weekend than go out with friends at all. I am constantly ""squirrel braining"" new ideas and projects to work on. During what I think are more of the ""normal"" periods, my brain knows what it wants to do and I can do it with a little coffee in the system. During these low periods, it's like I can't get excited about anything I was ecstatic about only a week ago. It's like there is no light in me. 

Fast forward to my final year in College and I hit a point where I reached out for help to the VA and the diagnosis was that it was ADD. The lack of focus would cause anxiety to build up about not getting things done and it would make it worse seeming like depression. They put me on Adderall XR and to be honest it really helped. I still had normal highs and lows like anyone but the lows were more like having an off day and my normal days did not become manic or anything. 

Over the past year I have been hitting more of these low periods, that are not crippling but I have to really work to stay positive and enjoy things. I came across ""r/cyclothymia""  thread and have read a few people's descriptions of themselves and I feel like I do have some ADD but cyclothymia sounds like it nails it on the head. The starting of 8 projects and then not caring about any of them, only to have motivation all come back at some later time hopefully, perfect description of me.

I was hoping maybe someone went down this road similar to me with the Adderall before realizing it probably isn't solving the root of the problem. 


Did you continue on the Adderall in a smaller dose while taking a mood stabilizer?

I'm asking all of this now because the last two weeks I noticed a large depression moving in, almost like the fricken weather. I have been less than useless with things at work, luckily we have been slow and all of my tasks have been internal tools.",5.879438072187733,6.748601533936652,6.1743870356729476,78.25751446911502,66.84313725490196,9.485692237539023,31.708197411343786,9.589985622208136,2.900637756497949,2759,108,511,55,43,885,295,663,0.10800000000000001,0.7440000000000001,0.14800000000000002,0.9874,1,0,0,0,0,0,55.0,1,1,2,10,21,39,0,1,41,0,60,10,3,10,7,97,101,32,0,18,14,0,1,10,1,8,5,1,1,2,44,33,0,0,13,3,1,11,10,15,1,2,32,3,45,22,96,56,22,110,0,12,0,2,13,47,0,14,62,359,89,16,0.055436466041529714,0.0,0.05409799405016746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049141082300855975,0.0,0.11102322591932652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03769869790566227,0.05812996823906104,0.08481748957098016,0.0,0.0,0.03876246601827489,0.0,0.09123897611830233,0.0,0.0518256123759975,0.0,0.0,0.0426272204971037,0.0,0.10138066546872472,0.06122522132093235,0.09434469902537294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12377086008485108,0.0,0.06340454870844656,0.11304234355224972,0.2277940852081045,0.05864443045886024,0.047753606814611785,0.0,0.05990712562552768,0.0,0.0,0.06133939525651672,0.12178870970143392,0.14300773780950712,0.0,0.28648408181832064,0.0,0.0,0.05791930796306177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11346150378078468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10984578896000144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049822721114161465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028030342910029232,0.039603822416798495,0.0,0.1214558776708862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042830076147586084,0.0,0.17377959270565205,0.0,0.06301164237052519,0.0,0.04433760611096167,0.0,0.0,0.0548908170898897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05689380757944967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11147368391125644,0.05857167004606535,0.0,0.11012183852673343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06258102241104888,0.059880896270186376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030466431947589342,0.090376237660813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039156415416205854,0.2708345710383094,0.055561902655796656,0.0,0.09811905592580487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05003357498662039,0.05245532456616838,0.0370042715539347,0.0,0.05569338130619099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0442488582996125,0.058920190171495995,0.040752181142059404,0.0,0.04275602016095398,0.10708176869878874,0.0,0.0,0.1629478993334249,0.05319278429660488,0.06311478401870455,0.0,0.05903802708370146,0.037565184096758325,0.12648579146224845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05292037960352239,0.03843266545116381,0.048404983863288134,0.0,0.0,0.15721613717580593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059769886604879766,0.05304521114347019,0.0,0.05572896002640001,0.0,0.0,0.05545146793654498,0.0,0.07102803935608995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11220932649139803,0.0,0.15140182990846174,0.0,0.06262742726422195,0.0,0.0,0.062312910527555415,0.0,0.0,0.0469711377788562,0.0,0.05482808242183914,0.0,0.0784764319882391,0.05908789674375928,0.04427163339096812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17285914338267167,0.08336264661981359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578066732153144,0.10656434703906516,0.0,0.0,0.09697634747119976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06159195354425651,0.0376377214969966,0.0,0.05415337208900853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372226707819645,0.03269786398060268,0.0,0.1334033675472939,0.0,0.04984404062326184,0.10278031882937012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210752225700728,0.0,0.11298898993222113,0.27566332448192393,0.0,0.0,0.10709779972443324
bipolarreddit,vloder477,2020/04/04,Seroquel 100 mg My experience with seroquel every time I take it I freak the fuck out can’t breathe and pass out and hit the floor and have severely huge headache and brain swelling really bad and feels like my brain is about to explode and can’t deal with the extreme headache and swelling of the brain.  Can anyone tell me a explanation why this happened when I take seroquel?,7.587499999999999,7.544824972222226,6.18,82.81500000000003,63.16666666666667,9.422222222222222,37.444444444444436,8.841846274778883,3.0065444444444447,306,14,60,4,4,90,49,72,0.16899999999999998,0.769,0.062,-0.8553,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,5,0,5,5,4,0,0,12,11,8,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,11,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,0,1,6,1,7,10,0,7,0,0,0,1,2,4,1,0,3,33,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14381433520433376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17173193621341767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6888115923421705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2120442426418581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17329197773440108,0.0,0.0,0.20119184452772335,0.0,0.0,0.10399661180624672,0.14693588869544905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19014532952511573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818797379183527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10048352900422307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13176213113024662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323567807403056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3092874328183892,0.0,0.1797710068047751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119932074974623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855917525884238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bzv88,2020/04/05,"Cyclothymia/bi polar possibly I was recently diagnosed with GAD, Social Anxiety Disorder and PTSD. I'm trying to find some sort of relief and I was wondering if may have cyclothymia?

I do all the right things like therapy, take medication and go to biofeedback. My brain seems to never slow down. I have tried SSRIs and buspar and I had terrible side effects. Now I'm on a low dosage Gabapentin that I have been for about two weeks. It helps from time to time. I find my brain constantly cycling from negative events in my life or past regret. I'm basically unable to focus in the present because I get so antsy. I have never been someone whos been too into social media but recently added some old college acquaintances who didnt follow me back. I found myself getting so angry and then my brain goes back to the last time I hung out with them and I start worrying about what I did or what I said stuff like that to point where I almost contact them. Which I see is crazy, but I go into weird panic almost parionoid mode. That's just one example. I guess I'm just trying to figure out things out. I've had trouble  with friend relationships. 

Ive also had several concussion playing a contact sport in my younger days. I'm starting to wonder if those head injuries in my past have caught up with me or maybe if I'm slightly bi polar who knows?

I use to party quite a bit too and would get very hyper when I drank too much. I would have trouble sleeping and would act like a fool. I hardly drink anymore. I'm also extremely sensitive to people telling what to do and often take shit personally.

Anyway, I guess I'm just wondering if anyone may have some similar feelings/experiences or have some ideas on some relief.

Thanks!!",3.732692545942598,5.853818323353296,4.658610365475943,82.1761377245509,73.85029940119759,7.7206690068139565,26.48730125954986,8.53829466247534,2.021610902333265,1376,50,253,26,29,446,185,334,0.135,0.778,0.086,-0.9505,0,0,1,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,2,2,19,17,1,1,7,0,27,12,6,2,3,64,60,26,0,8,13,0,1,3,1,5,3,1,0,1,14,19,2,0,11,3,0,5,4,9,0,2,14,3,35,8,35,41,8,47,0,2,1,1,15,18,1,25,27,167,49,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18207259159244832,0.0,0.0,0.1454062801888384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06954824096795391,0.0,0.09016132503631284,0.06356852438776922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13981306062805285,0.0,0.05541975668127454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09925351368540296,0.0,0.0,0.3044671203616003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09824471886107808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058631401729558635,0.0,0.0,0.09227484074620604,0.0,0.0,0.10419424146206603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08906018643814062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08893041613208705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16618577701262016,0.0,0.0,0.09968147622053324,0.07023920353349615,0.0,0.14249496241799586,0.0,0.10333597255798094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2003019672928511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08144024333637782,0.0,0.09330302651338522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06093710679609776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10262977715279377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04996343940954552,0.07410627674085092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06421458188829345,0.1332465846676233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09133438688165003,0.0,0.0,0.09158534197290834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06683155864135303,0.0,0.14023551076673818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09539796174926103,0.0,0.061605041337153235,0.0,0.0,0.10666688592204757,0.0,0.0,0.17357360286884216,0.06302766779253567,0.07938177606533894,0.0,0.0,0.08594222604842648,0.10249081360239734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10627250038956464,0.0,0.0,0.09669722850139607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17953135501440806,0.09760660164444984,0.0,0.07763925528037488,0.0864791375833485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07244593712888417,0.08276383406868762,0.0,0.10270587881359244,0.09332094816888167,0.0,0.0,0.09097871489610136,0.1853488285263975,0.07703033950442592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12869746156907452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040737013067793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367106115535125,0.0,0.07946202034759886,0.08370052977889622,0.10396700562923587,0.0,0.12079719287423868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15903640667116922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18517199724242736,0.0,0.08880884804122388,0.0,0.0,0.07851969287999046,0.0,0.07501279450801357,0.0,0.0,0.07292497179567649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2957740017912177,0.0,0.09232662400522153,0.0,0.1937460851604058,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hilow83,2020/04/05,"Getting taken advantage of when manic I thought I’d post about this because I rarely see it talked about. I had a pretty severe manic episode that peaked in October and took a month to come out of. Including the hypomania it lasted three. I am beginning to recover from the depression as I’m sleeping 12 hours versus 20 and I’m out of my bed now for a couple hours each day. Now that I’m kinda thinking and processing more I’m pretty beat up on myself because a few people took advantage of this. 

A lot of my delusions revolve around being called in for special military service and this time I actually met a person who was a navy seal. He convinced me that I was sick because of my medication. In the 18 years of having this diagnosis I’ve never dropped meds. Then I meet this guy and we bonded. He detached with seal team six providing support which made my own personal delusions worse. My initial psychotic manic episode was immediately after the twin towers and is a big trigger so to meet a person involved with the operation that took him out exacerbated symptoms so quickly. This guy acted like a best friend. He came to my doctors after my hospitalization because he said he’d be able to see things so we signed authorization forms allowing my doctors to speak with him. 

During the episode I ran up some big charges helping this guy out because of what he has done service wise. It also doesn’t help I become very altruistic when hypo. A long story short I paid for his root canal, got his car out of the tow yard, brought over lunch nearly every day. Bought his whole family a month worth of groceries and became the best customer at the store he now works at. 

He promised me a full time job about a month after my hospitalization only to finally say I’m a liability if I became depressed. I haven’t talked to him in about a month. I’m pretty pissed because  one I really looked up to this person. Anytime he was in the gutter I bailed him out. This would’ve been a job I believe I could handle well because it was fairly straight forward. I don’t know why he strung me along like that. I’m also disappointed because he was a friend???  

When stable I consider myself a pretty street smart person. It wasn’t only him. Neighbors that I became friends with turned in an instant after the mania and what I don’t get was I was so dam nice to them. 

I know that many people who are manic get taken advantage of and just wondering what your stories are. Hope you guys are having a good day.",4.631678121420389,6.128600969072168,5.6245790378006895,78.73265320733104,70.23711340206185,8.028064146620848,29.34851088201604,8.515128840125781,2.259225658648339,1990,77,364,32,36,656,243,485,0.057999999999999996,0.78,0.162,0.9931,3,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,2,2,1,8,20,24,1,0,32,0,28,8,2,4,1,45,65,21,0,3,3,0,0,2,4,0,5,3,3,9,28,26,1,0,5,2,4,10,6,4,1,3,27,6,50,20,60,34,11,68,0,3,3,0,52,28,1,6,32,238,78,8,0.07323692931154736,0.0,0.07146867845400806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171350918213413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06519639421796404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35715641878174065,0.08088443449129419,0.0,0.08251294000496699,0.1537152779059931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07478309320667104,0.08376353659182363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0630871297609981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058473728712094726,0.08103526929456879,0.0,0.1416952819978607,0.0,0.12615771980182394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14992220092955866,0.0,0.07494680600446423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061705271627839176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06904125903513399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08022747626797665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697480097421302,0.0,0.11478981846749535,0.0,0.0,0.0614276616039497,0.058574262691260974,0.0,0.0,0.2900642972482233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981783398986326,0.0,0.0,0.07274079572278473,0.14424724583178994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14535270339626552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08049820207691938,0.05969787219165535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0715597286428635,0.0,0.0,0.0648123778089557,0.06150057542972194,0.0,0.0,0.06226341832330137,0.0,0.06929855330945515,0.0,0.07425075133131925,0.0,0.0,0.08134971838125643,0.07377850136564491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23382807302166006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05648483479854365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049627238688132604,0.11139996984771958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10154653079049568,0.319738308973961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07014073372334767,0.2980331450447967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04691745225573025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06966509086334159,0.058240945703644575,0.0,0.0,0.11672070128820147,0.0,0.0,0.08273688405891272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07328982014602485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08310839948586621,0.0,0.07612121147409527,0.0,0.11773013923009087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04865536158654297,0.04692726712524442,0.0,0.058141941228980136,0.08541008487469512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24410676960368985,0.0,0.0796607485773017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06042813667374216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06584879485270652,0.0,0.06608493742801819,0.08176641613481568,0.0,0.0,0.0794223257601297,0.05331735678642479,0.0,0.07463468777438031,0.05202541331276833,0.0,0.0,0.04716218130958948
bipolarreddit,thebeatkonducta27,2020/04/05,Abilify and weed I am a daily smoker and starter abilify tmrw is there anything i should be concerned about,2.6273333333333326,5.632448400000005,4.1200000000000045,77.39833333333334,90.0,6.666666666666668,31.66666666666667,7.793537801064563,3.291666666666666,88,5,13,2,3,29,17,20,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,3,4,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,11,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,breadedveg,2020/04/05,"Feeling hopeless I feel like I have a big problem and I'm not certain what to do. Latuda works really well for me. I currently take 40mg and I feel good. I have MDD and mood disorder. I take Lamictal, Effexor and klonopin as needed. My problem is weight gain. I went back on Latuda in early September and have gained 70 lbs, crazy I know. It's not new weight because in October of 2018 I went off Latuda by choice and was able to lose 90 lbs with diet and exercise but last August I started feeling really unstable. I would be really happy, like euphoric for a day or two, then hopelessly unhappy and very irritated. I was really scared because I hadn't had such an unstable experience like that before where it was day by day. Anyway, this went on for a few weeks and finally I went back on Latuda. It took a couple of days back on Latuda but I felt so much better. My problem though is I can't seem to get back to the diet and exercise. I don't have huge cravings I just eat too much. I have an appt tomorrow with my psychiatrist I feel like going off the latuda. I'm worried the feelings will come back.",2.013518141051776,4.219600529147982,4.184706481858949,83.11430391357523,79.5829596412556,7.821361598043213,24.486139421117002,8.710501217029153,1.9956744394618835,870,32,171,21,22,299,123,223,0.184,0.6609999999999999,0.155,-0.7437,1,0,0,0,0,2,21.0,0,0,0,5,13,17,0,1,9,0,18,7,0,0,1,34,41,17,0,5,6,0,9,4,0,2,2,0,0,0,6,13,5,0,9,2,0,7,5,7,1,1,11,9,24,9,22,27,3,37,0,3,0,0,0,11,0,2,23,112,30,1,0.09871161816826753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3795157063342036,0.0,0.12034737245452158,0.0,0.08399631660697895,0.0,0.0,0.0873024045552687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08503131852795615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092225279782037,0.0,0.25464331004044377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11313206639437046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10100662876862918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09655890384304136,0.0,0.0,0.2994693605888511,0.14103919948584848,0.09477863349041636,0.1081337527175596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05157274632112662,0.0,0.0561000874151598,0.08279462197854015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10508035307520217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05424932381344416,0.0804631436713115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19290204208235207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11043305127623683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14512879451606678,0.07319341410139818,0.0,0.09533629593793908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28336106187541193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25294876101613634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09882755016745612,0.0,0.0,0.08986334983128894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06986859140541019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484377041001618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09698366366406258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10967223985640903,0.0,0.0,0.09642690759129097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08144742290578008,0.0,0.0,0.07918050590156364,0.2404083157283692,0.0887535995220389,0.3660266359654704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07186323367619701,0.10024643982584723,0.0,0.07012190137205229,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Raskolnikov6622,2020/04/05,"Weed-induced Psychosis Anyone wanna share stories about it? 
23M 

I used to be able to talk to God, Angels or Philosophical figures like Kant, Voltaire, Camus or Nietzche like they were actually here. 

I felt like i could see the future where i've seen myself as the King of a zombie army. 
I lived that future and thought i was that Zombie king the day i took some MDMA in a rave party  were all i could see were zombies (The Walking Dead style) dancing to techno music (in reality it was just people under the influence of drugs and alcohol). Was a great party though 

I used to believe i was Rodion Raskolnikov, Don Quichotte or even Jesus. 

One time, i spent a whole night at a rave party not being able to recognize my best friends, like they became complete strangers all of the sudden. 

One night, i thought my loved ones were all dead and couldn't believe that that was actually not thrue, that one burned my heart pretty hard. 

One day i saw the sky turned into a rain of tears and blood and thought it was the end for everyone, don't know why but i  couldn't do anything but laught and took it like it was the best thing that could ever happen. 

Oh and i used to talk to objects, a lot, like they were actual living beings too. 

That some of what i can remember rn, i've been using for 4 years so i'm sure most of it has been forgotten. 

Being a heavy user ( mostly to overcome depression or simply to feel more manic when in a manic state because in those moment it always feels like a fucking great idea to try going even higher ) , those kind of stuff happened often and made it difficult to have a normal social and love life, as well as to follow my  college studies like i should. 

I stopped weed a mounth ago, now i try to take my meds on a regular basis and to have enough sleep, it reduced psychosis a lot and stabilized my mood greatly, even if we agree with my psychiatrist that my meds are little under-dosed.

Feel free to react and/or share your stories

(Covid19 ps: hope everyone is safe during those hard times, stay safe and take care of yourself and the ones you care about)",6.048529411764704,6.15110855882353,6.1659803921568646,81.1344117647059,66.35294117647058,8.662745098039215,29.25490196078432,8.212053250817874,1.9173019607843136,1644,50,317,19,24,523,221,408,0.051,0.737,0.212,0.9969,0,0,2,0,0,0,42.0,1,2,3,4,16,31,1,0,24,0,32,9,3,7,5,68,66,26,2,10,10,0,6,8,1,1,3,0,0,0,23,16,1,3,11,2,2,6,5,3,1,6,24,10,33,28,41,32,14,36,2,1,4,3,14,11,1,13,25,209,56,1,0.14914831800395648,0.0,0.21832086520250013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06610549240797546,0.07969709652315596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06205167430096738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0521439859097455,0.0,0.06136817872848141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045459715155287,0.0,0.0,0.16803907988755326,0.15652195802517607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15206665041935455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07818958688082492,0.0,0.0,0.17862419342560062,0.0,0.0,0.09618832638005867,0.0,0.06423061387381822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08648234871376567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06605057009266818,0.07705504117830453,0.0,0.14776658608548732,0.06745659626846587,0.0,0.14251760946353076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11312080648249845,0.053275794091634784,0.07160288743171132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05761581025572862,0.06894260832534008,0.0,0.0,0.04238221312299283,0.0,0.0,0.24665482070876865,0.0,0.0,0.13189136504101429,0.0,0.13360759721631646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08837073747792047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07406896653306387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08418514831540196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07765751081978985,0.04098400750474288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05267393392299058,0.2914653376167646,0.07474289865450236,0.1317006973213506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268005663726389,0.1346121801376887,0.07056387237540211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1656701582209412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13996559286256366,0.0730668422287587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3032002808048698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05170033208967228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07586872959911897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08447798478575842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11885189915132498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07462801556774566,0.0760189637572258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07948613108852465,0.0,0.06234733613544941,0.0,0.0,0.08536957034604216,0.0,0.0,0.0702852623104443,0.0,0.11214097340177707,0.11987976837370674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04954375757370128,0.0,0.07326873258575738,0.17761065669952908,0.08696958364710823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16570926918071988,0.10126191757196462,0.0811152704853184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2576325185210389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06705112493923363,0.0,0.06729157923085903,0.0832593853289564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048023313387429385
bipolarreddit,ThatOneWhovianChick,2020/04/05,"Working out on antipsychotics? 
I just started taking geodon for mania, and I find it’s really hard to maintain a workout regiment.

I would normally do a mild to moderate cardio and pillities workout, an hour long, 3 or 4 times a week.

Since I started geodon, working out has been a chore.

Yesterday it took me 2 hours to get through my hour long playlist, my second wind lasted for like 3 minutes, and I had to take several breaks and modify to low intensity constantly.

I was sweaty, dizzy, nauseous, missing steps, and miserable.

This morning I woke up feeling like I was hit by a truck. The muscle aches alone make moving at all extremely painful.

How can I make working out work? I feel so helpless and hopeless.

I’m going to start by modifying my playlist.

I’m going to take a short burst approach with a lot of cool downs. I’ll take the 2 hour time frame into consideration. I’m thinking a 2 hour playlist with about an hour of moderate intensity and an hour of low to no intensity.

I’ll have to force my way through the pain.

Is there anything I can do to minimize damage?",4.362884615384616,6.008025673076923,5.421346153846155,79.34865384615388,71.11538461538461,8.853846153846154,32.71153846153846,9.354420925462401,3.1073500000000003,852,41,160,19,16,281,124,208,0.18,0.777,0.043,-0.9775,0,1,0,0,0,1,26.0,0,0,0,4,5,12,0,1,14,1,12,3,0,3,1,27,34,10,0,2,2,0,3,2,0,1,3,0,1,0,3,13,0,0,5,2,0,6,1,9,0,1,6,4,16,3,30,26,2,37,0,7,0,0,0,11,0,2,20,91,19,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1044942384944956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08302595956962402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10902898742897456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10202859418997556,0.07207764704672277,0.0,0.0,0.09221394901849334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05271218526644167,0.0,0.11467910523431192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09037989390035626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6955117649256469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08224088183927124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09858199248499652,0.0,0.0,0.17857343685537916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08577522516709579,0.0,0.0,0.1346931008939313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10723279754192422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09885326262663774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21471354103803425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0646343413174869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11397984644735208,0.0,0.08345934741172421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21423676634563454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3034345198656875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06464786246144645,0.0,0.0,0.1176624968392723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1120953185215282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08008379799254679,0.0809299057022299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2938038679420504,0.0,0.0,0.07167116199985266,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,velvykat5731,2020/04/05,"Bipolar disorder is greatly overdiagnosed. I know it's underdiagnosed in the general population; that is, many people that might be living with bipolar disorder do not know it because they don't even suspect a psychiatric illness. But, among those who go seeking for a diagnosis due to emotional instability, impulsivity, etc., I believe bipolar disorder is overdiagnosed. I think many fit criteria for borderline personality disorder, attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder, agitated unipolar depression, anxiety disorders... rather than bipolar. I suppose some specialists, when in doubt, prefer to diagnose someone as bipolar rather than borderline because of the stigma of borderline personality, but treatments differ. It's not only hurtful to the patients, because they do not receive adequate treatment, but to us because research starts to look heterogenous and statistics get messed up. 

I believe this is particularly true for bipolar disorder type II. Numbers I'm seeing everywhere are not reasonable. Four people with bipolar in a meeting of sixteen is not reasonable. The amount of bipolar people in the media industry, although it has always been high, is becoming ridiculous. 

I remember reading that changes were made from the DSM-IV to the DSM-5 to stop overdiagnosis by clarifying that episodes weren't only a subjective and emotional experience, but a physical one, with real changes as in appetite or sleep. I believe it wasn't enough.

Any thoughts on this?",11.29451671732523,12.811609591489365,10.790471124620064,47.59750000000002,55.21276595744681,14.54407294832827,53.38145896656536,13.484332010920856,8.503699088145897,1214,86,141,46,14,395,141,235,0.138,0.8029999999999999,0.059000000000000004,-0.9331,0,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,1,0,2,0,4,7,1,1,12,0,17,11,1,3,1,35,28,11,0,3,12,0,0,0,0,1,10,0,0,2,13,5,0,1,10,1,0,2,8,5,0,2,6,2,10,2,31,20,4,16,0,2,2,0,8,10,0,4,4,105,23,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07090983206573068,0.0,0.0,0.057952493904995614,0.0,0.06519303477933883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20779718218607995,0.09411874845949024,0.0,0.28804113030485645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18030283206246095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07339982513896867,0.0864964637250457,0.0,0.08903671819409845,0.6836861865997812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19172196540448336,0.0,0.08805499756976508,0.09504278029145198,0.05628697867429335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08336147156491902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04452391084473982,0.0,0.04843246614988722,0.0,0.0,0.09395530478801292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09003956475749228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912297278332609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09366932068412072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0752507844083347,0.0,0.0715633017080304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08063718499807522,0.0,0.17279932366301645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904049084707665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0577472491982394,0.12962723676606566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17724236650439654,0.14882156085753204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0852430199487875,0.09699896947506964,0.0,0.17524062082380687,0.0,0.0,0.09653760002276188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06790927323440671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08528150305244997,0.0,0.07220659404873024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060319125051281175,0.0,0.0,0.07124770096721557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054605508194874884,0.0,0.06765512766323216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10250911687932074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,KingAhtnamas,2020/04/05,"How do I ask my mom to take me to a physiatrist? When I was younger I was diagnosed with very high functioning autism, we couldn’t afford a therapist or any help so we kinda just ignored it I always had trouble with controlling my emotions often being extremely creative and reckless to going to a depression and regretting everything and often having suicidal thoughts, my family just passed it off since I had always pulled myself out of the depression. 
Lately I have been thinking and pondering whether I was falsely diagnosed? 
Yes I fit my conditions symptoms but I really feel that it is something else, one of the biggest symptoms of autism is missing social cues which I have always been very observant and some things about me just don’t feel like I was diagnosed right. 
Then I came across a video basically talking about bipolar disorder and it was like everything came together it was exactly how I have been feeling what I always thought was my personality and my autism now made sense, I am not one to self diagnose and I don’t want to jump to conclusions but I do feel greatly that I have been misdiagnosed, but now the question lies how do I ask my mother for help? 
I tried talking to her earlier today and she’s always been the classic just be happy type she always ignored my autism because she always believed in her words “ it’s all about your perspective if your sad just be happy”, which totally crushes my attempts to hint that something was wrong, I almost blame her if she had just worked harder to afford sessions to help me through my life maybe I wouldn’t be so confused ( we had money she just didn’t want to pay that much for help) 
I just want help I just want to have peace and be settled but every time I open my mouth I feel like one of those girls who claim they are depressed even though nothings wrong. 
I tried to hint that something wasn’t right and of course being a teenager didn’t help “it’s just your hormones” I told her after all this quarantine stuff is over that I was to see a physiatrist and she just told me that she’ll take me to a doctor to get prescribed with birth control to control my hormones, I’m honestly so confused and feel as if my life is a lie and I just want help but I don’t want to make a fool of myself. 
If anyone could suggest anyway that might help me convince my mom to let me see a physiatrist again I would really appreciate it. 

Love, your penguin daddy.",4.9698733224633145,6.401121633262264,5.388853003888123,80.99601749655085,69.34115138592749,8.588009532171078,30.6384673272294,9.007467420416297,2.598327430076508,1942,79,359,36,34,620,207,469,0.126,0.715,0.159,0.9395,2,1,3,0,0,0,20.0,3,4,1,6,30,23,0,2,14,1,52,12,1,8,4,94,84,35,1,15,24,3,6,3,0,4,10,0,0,3,24,24,0,5,12,1,2,6,9,14,0,3,28,8,74,9,42,43,5,27,0,6,2,1,44,11,0,14,13,267,98,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06710549790842889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39033093656629936,0.0,0.0,0.04557226422689517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046858205763269725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12529931441291858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04085151239441308,0.0,0.0,0.07550256893738795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15329382750348922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22548790580363026,0.05350574992050084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17315887548815068,0.2720738614653504,0.0,0.0,0.07680460184972736,0.06859234024534536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055982146098177005,0.07538246826647445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044262548370802575,0.0,0.05646273814265649,0.0,0.12045690367339955,0.0,0.06317545368654262,0.0,0.20330774235167398,0.09575056751773338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03501239192152001,0.0,0.038085973455450436,0.0,0.0,0.07388389501126713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426766952534207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3593480913858405,0.07080466360481101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07559545111407677,0.0,0.0,0.06852702631692008,0.09466886702510667,0.09821992789264336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06048334362137117,0.06341088801578795,0.044732803371609384,0.0,0.06732522950597042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07109195995934345,0.0,0.15697351073179378,0.0,0.0,0.04926348309099774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06430236999153809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13623259612361585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05851461289290414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07507175193630049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08586260950322802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11446030041668866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10680400910332613,0.0,0.06991090174000111,0.0,0.0,0.05543521609516535,0.0,0.0,0.06831300261188676,0.0,0.15477346908139525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07671574820000747,0.07330315693246191,0.0,0.0,0.13930777443088066,0.1007733627277569,0.10772768432070333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0778091809689363,0.044521559795837586,0.04294028574128739,0.06584155943620999,0.10640430278039728,0.039076784931015886,0.0,0.06352205823222458,0.1280707516431598,0.0,0.09099710516536412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11058821936759186,0.2371618829978672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048787467833336436,0.0,0.0,0.047605288999603416,0.14654001277247336,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mahoor77,2020/04/05,"dealing with a bipolar friend and ex boyfriend? hello everyone

i am in a hard situation with my ex boyfriend that has bipolar l.we met each other in the first year of collage.first we were best friends until he said he loves me and we were in relationship for almost 6 months.then suddenly he changed.i think he was in a extreme manic episode.he met a group of new friends.he started to ignore me.he was drowning in drugs and alcohol and finally he broke up with me but i didn't know that he has bipolar.he had a new friend and she was hanging out with him all the time and it was a really hard time for me.i was crying every night for almost a year.then about 4 months age he started to reach out again and we were the regular old friends and that was the best.he was that lovely creature that i fell in love with.and one night he said he always loved me and he didn't leave me for that girl and another night he said you don't talk to me like her she was kind!i know this is a part of his disorder. but lately he started to behave cold and it seems he is get bored of me again and i really don't know what to do to help him.i like him and he is my friend and i don't wanna lose him again but it seems he doesn't want me to help him.and i have social anxiety and its hard for me to talk to him.every time he ignores me i feel depressed and anxious and i cant even get out of the bed.sometimes i feel no matter what i say he just ignores me.i tried so hard to not get mad at him and accept him with love again . i'm just too tired.",2.7632516379519534,4.364461735015773,3.421782334384861,92.24592756612472,75.18296529968454,6.6434845911186615,24.810604222276147,7.321109707123232,0.9004939092453284,1218,40,267,14,26,383,151,317,0.11599999999999999,0.6890000000000001,0.195,0.9881,0,0,2,0,0,0,22.0,3,1,0,3,10,22,1,0,13,0,27,10,0,0,1,54,53,23,1,2,6,2,6,2,5,0,5,4,0,1,14,30,1,3,9,0,0,2,9,8,0,2,19,11,34,14,39,34,4,37,0,3,0,5,58,11,0,4,26,165,48,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09146680921678936,0.17140666253464334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07121550097147981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08974576055232239,0.06547406045692038,0.09668930263557353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17963721010548256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09401364485433047,0.0,0.08823676194689663,0.07371622758385965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09809047604660033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09925411132290783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05652961328049785,0.0,0.14422200571116878,0.08178234567834076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08655103449076322,0.0,0.0,0.09375671831004928,0.0,0.14560105004187393,0.0,0.0,0.3306227299635871,0.0,0.13414751623209795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30667768683261243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11473474408291412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08912601633286192,0.1411096473616176,0.0,0.09654621739001458,0.09062460701479406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08362727625012609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09575031126191576,0.0,0.0,0.38622945929192815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06831497697262137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16532152114101853,0.0,0.24095368723166555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08980948803458792,0.0,0.05799617854919436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926827199450864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10965884905247876,0.0,0.0,0.09188874438978156,0.0,0.0,0.2442394029061123,0.06806246680636355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15583095129484775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09620372618346727,0.0,0.08724548770506267,0.0,0.0,0.08464804137406927,0.0,0.1817374227331304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13758368097644375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0548408945362546,0.0,0.0,0.14971995208387007,0.09837002630385316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058108167672018235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05048161491001315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11023084742591192
bipolarreddit,2020NM,2020/04/05,"Thinking about medication and pregnancy has robbed of sleep last night. Opinions? I might get pregnant in the next two years and I’m the sort of person who like to have everything planned ahead. I think I’d want to come off medication (Risperdal and Lamictal) before trying for a baby. But I’m dreading what the experience will be like without medication. I have bipolar with psychotic symptoms (delusions, no hallucinations). I started medication 2.5 years ago and it stopped all delusions and I stopped being severely depressed/suicidal. So these 2 medications are literally lifesavers for me. 

However my main concern is having a healthy baby, physically and mentally. I’m worried about any physical abnormality and any mental and developmental effects that might not show right away, but develop in late childhood or adolescences. I have a close-knit family and if I happen to develop any psychotic symptoms during pregnancy or after anything birth, or anything that will make taking care of the baby harder my mom and sisters will help me take care of it. My younger sister and older brother still live in my family home and we also have a housekeeper there (I’m not from the US) so I can go and stay in my old room if anything bad happens and they will take care of me. This is the worst case scenario. 

I’m trying to weigh the positive and negatives of coming off medication but I really can’t risk causing any harm to the baby. I feel like it’s not a risk I’m willing to take. I saw posts about Lamictal being safe for pregnancy but I think it’s too soon to tell if the baby would develop any mental problems when he’s in adolescence or adulthood, Lamictal hasn’t been there for that long and no studies have been done on this. I already risk passing on bipolar to the baby but I’m worried the medication will cause it or other mental disorders or problems. 

Would me being in a depressed or suicidal state of mind affect the baby’s development? Same for psychotic symptoms. Not in the sense that I wouldn’t be able to care for them, but would that affect internal development? Cause I think I read that having severe stress while pregnant can cause abnormalities in the babies.

I know it’s a completely personal choice but I want to learn as much as possible. I don’t see my pdoc for 3 months and pregnancy won’t be happening for another 2 years. But since I got anxious about this last night I wanted to vent and hear what you guys have to say. Please share as much as you can. Thank you.",5.318188198905542,7.213068760171307,6.171093861527481,73.92386896264573,69.10706638115632,9.55719724006662,32.672436354984534,9.928628108626363,3.5535058767546985,2009,92,344,51,36,661,221,467,0.13699999999999998,0.763,0.1,-0.9612,1,0,0,0,0,0,41.0,2,3,2,3,13,21,0,5,21,0,40,14,1,8,1,79,78,45,1,12,23,4,1,3,0,13,12,2,2,3,20,22,1,3,8,2,0,4,13,11,0,1,5,5,38,10,53,54,6,47,0,1,2,0,21,15,0,14,28,232,58,2,0.06278662333322997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055656553256834544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06928660013651351,0.050210439995401784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2134852845582587,0.06583724903142897,0.0,0.07093101286474893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550041237086946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058990099430822784,0.0,0.05242420788423835,0.0,0.0,0.053426792003258665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2560605879892712,0.257996630138444,0.0,0.1081702329880139,0.06583057999939344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05407802667477056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07195890991782705,0.0,0.0,0.06425251471990658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05642856854706355,0.0614173654283335,0.11837928122438182,0.0,0.03174680328422889,0.04485477625462003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032803419269300686,0.0,0.03568308495857711,0.0,0.05021619834678137,0.0,0.0,0.062168628398756184,0.16656601097270224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07076508768934045,0.0,0.042084550135046,0.0,0.06298010251158223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034505886171888316,0.10235895607113556,0.0708260459126989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09202311805731052,0.0,0.055441738707506016,0.055564185870095935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04191055862105137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4427564226430766,0.2530965949939389,0.13321337053749266,0.06339659111220149,0.07353493440624029,0.05011568372525672,0.0,0.09231078494279277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06677428621360172,0.11784198543145336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06588399934135157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10964571540323548,0.0,0.0689208579507632,0.0,0.07078248394470799,0.06013222932750464,0.0,0.0,0.120156638022405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06280361428519475,0.0,0.040222718650642135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0536194332662969,0.0,0.04993044294511766,0.0,0.0,0.05003280978505787,0.0,0.0,0.14186202572949785,0.0,0.051937743640310785,0.0,0.06283196708170954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04444069515623696,0.0669221864471653,0.050141478498705185,0.10498485701093586,0.07192186489435821,0.0,0.0,0.13735675049044188,0.0,0.0,0.19577802663578867,0.18883090741961606,0.0,0.054878276225689096,0.05780548711635649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16092453207679874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08525599164212991,0.0,0.061333407743373626,0.0,0.07552457715684649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11109953156176897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0605240643473551,0.0,0.0,0.12752572746023788,0.0,0.13380544733909372,0.0,0.0,0.12129758065887962
bipolarreddit,popsjohnson,2020/04/05,"Post-Mania Embarrassment Awhile ago, I went through that silly thing where taking lithium decreased my symptoms so I thought, oh, I must be misdiagnosed, I don't have bipolar symptoms.

Then I recently went through a depressive episode which bounced back with the start of an increasingly manic episode. During this episode I got a new job, working around new people, then I started to notice I was getting increasingly energetic, sleeping less so taking more and more sleeping pills, thinking WAY too highly of myself and becoming paranoid. Then I got put back on lithium in what I would say was 'just in time' as the rational voice was getting quieter and quieter.

At this new job when I was manic, I was loud, obnoxious, taking on extra this and extra that, and that was how these new people met me.

But I'm not that person. Now, after three weeks I'm getting calmer and calmer, but many literally think I'm just a complete, stupid, immature idiot and some others miss that 'me' because I made them laugh a lot, often at my own expense.

Now it's getting harder to face them every day, either in embarrassment, or with anger when they imply I'm stupid or immature.

Obviously I have to stick with it, and will, but what should I do in the meantime? What do I tell myself in those moments? I try to be pretty open about my issues, but how do I explain in ways neurotypical laymen would understand?",8.72051878354204,7.959817193798454,8.294961240310078,70.93999105545619,61.17054263565893,10.574120453190224,38.45080500894454,9.661875296680813,3.735835062611806,1108,48,189,17,13,353,145,258,0.124,0.816,0.06,-0.9555,2,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,3,1,17,10,4,2,8,0,19,7,3,3,2,39,44,24,0,4,10,0,0,0,0,5,4,3,0,1,18,13,0,0,5,0,1,5,2,8,0,1,13,3,28,2,25,24,11,43,0,2,0,0,8,14,0,5,22,141,46,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10061159271265582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10103975724841714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17455018678139558,0.0,0.06918902165964758,0.12535269356850445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11900340778151845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07319861304213572,0.0,0.09775805500204994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09562930191170944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23719789070481698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815538835949705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11991980508480052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1184653252885522,0.22526402023799644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09649430383850263,0.0,0.10739718182335543,0.0,0.1150719756823902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43847904013647204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12922138965031565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15737429874094971,0.09910450266234762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10870237217321724,0.11547109693917412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11409963244497705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11206832684340184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09026037538427316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2271654966554607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16067287172072756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2359415369839205,0.2560153823377119,0.0,0.09920468396439257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07540487449509417,0.14545343298632474,0.0,0.0901069407011654,0.06618321723019509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0770595788408639,0.0,0.0,0.11815831419852135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801832713579042,0.09104347899104147,0.0,0.0,0.21043271928012405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08262991920714596,0.0,0.0,0.16125539441021056,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,madameink,2020/04/05,"Afraid of a full time job Anyone else feels or felt the same?
I'm not fully independent. I have almost 26 years and I still live with my father. What I do (and LOVE to do) doesnt give me enough money (I'm a photographer and a teacher). So I always think that I should just find a regular job. But I'm really afraid of becoming depressed and resentful if I do so. Does feeling this way makes sense?

I guess it has to do with certain sadness that there was a time some years ago that I could make good money but that time went away, and I put so much effort and time in developing my skills as a photographer and teacher that it kind of feel like throwing everything to the trash.",3.0001185770750998,4.508041304347831,4.266495388669302,86.8187549407115,74.36231884057972,7.6268774703557325,23.41501976284585,8.296473431620573,1.1930347826086969,532,15,114,9,11,175,86,138,0.048,0.863,0.08900000000000001,0.6503,3,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,6,10,1,2,8,0,10,1,0,3,1,31,24,15,0,3,6,1,4,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,9,9,0,0,6,0,2,3,2,5,0,0,3,4,12,5,11,19,5,15,0,2,0,1,3,3,0,5,9,73,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428941433661035,0.0,0.16141859335083472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341313788111112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11271484300097735,0.16516853020421268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15145278016679162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1780328218961985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287051457413289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13884139143438093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14106727503512806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13466198087464906,0.0,0.0,0.16656277262500568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14487623634720742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2445228096848607,0.1151613683155109,0.1547773549427416,0.0,0.14733395139636848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15463780404217015,0.0,0.13520697779018306,0.0,0.0,0.17758006036509869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31993240873389034,0.0,0.0,0.1678650756589627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0787542158422734,0.0,0.14234262266974945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14548936455012285,0.0,0.2152046083239834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11850060564281514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16205060268926033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032688980741636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12873459094958475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032905013520642,0.0,0.0,0.37598824852444107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12795311909594287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14943408779747225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2076151308501785
bipolarreddit,sorryimlurking,2020/04/05,"It’s 4am and I’m wide awake... For the 3rd day in a row 🙃

Being trapped inside this time around will be interesting, wonder what I’ll destroy",0.6015053763440861,2.389570870967745,2.90451612903226,92.64344086021508,82.2258064516129,5.423655913978496,20.010752688172047,6.42735559955562,-0.010492473118279387,111,3,26,1,3,38,30,31,0.218,0.696,0.085,-0.6369,0,1,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,2,12,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5393284834891463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3907184462890458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3532717729461195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6570106065097253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,themuffin237,2020/04/05,"Is this what’s its like to be bipolar? [I started a new account so no one know on my other account I’m asking this.]

I’m curious if this is something people struggle with. Do you have opposing conflicted feelings or wants that make you feel crazy? Like for example, you’re feeling depressed, and part of you want to go out and get fresh air, but another part of you wants to stay inside, so you feel very conflicted, and you know what to do. Or part of you began to not feel any pleasure for your s.o. because of depression. However, at the same time, another part of you feels lots of enjoyment talking to them, so you feel like you’re going crazy because you don’t know what’s happening inside of your body. If this still doesn’t make sense, I can give more examples. I’ve been dealing with this and hate it. My counselor knows I’ve been depressed, but I’m scared to bring up the other parts because I’m scared she won’t take me serious anymore.",3.9855555555555564,5.309177370370372,4.721560846560847,85.25630952380955,71.5925925925926,8.151322751322754,29.9021164021164,8.634040054169528,2.2452687830687834,749,31,150,13,14,241,106,189,0.184,0.7340000000000001,0.083,-0.9757,1,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,12,1,0,4,13,1,3,3,0,12,2,1,2,0,35,43,13,0,5,7,0,7,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,13,7,0,3,11,0,2,3,5,8,0,1,3,7,19,5,22,38,8,14,0,3,0,0,18,5,0,5,8,94,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07155338368449815,0.22066522994432086,0.0,0.0,0.10435022253774788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983667376603701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924238782099648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11687598657271266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10847746592555,0.271878162438716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37241766817725785,0.07516937343176201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05497324206669614,0.10093685937168484,0.1195981949936624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09304592676873437,0.0,0.0,0.10388322108561963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23130520848213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15421590972472218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0894545007497169,0.0,0.0,0.14047067870035684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10162238097046168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0712999700302762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5697164295750775,0.0,0.07294647852100053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106876684202704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08100369530484483,0.0,0.0,0.07447544026980167,0.11215079516529368,0.08402903406081795,0.0,0.0,0.10999905956436422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0791125392907382,0.0845720578120038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061354778674250036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08681773251376873,0.18618490322310452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Schelles,2020/04/05,"Trying meds again, third time's the charm? Thursday I have an appointment with a new psychiatrist and I'm scared.

 I've been medicated twice in the past, in 2010 upon diagnosis I was on lamictal, wellbutrin, klonopin, and something else I can never remember... maybe six months in I swung manic, decided to change my dosages (dumb) and spiraled so I quit. In 2015 I was disassociating A LOT and tried again - was given depakote which made me vomit daily and the psych said they couldn't get me in for another month so I quit them.

I finally have insurance again and made a therapy appointment, by the end I had an appointment with another therapist in the practice (she specializes in bipolar as well as trauma which are my big deals) as well as an appointment with a psychiatrist... I'm all about the therapy but unsure of the meds. I've clearly had bad experiences so I'm going in already nervous.. despite some real heavy depression I've been able to get shit done and improve my life, however, I know how helpful meds CAN be. 

I guess I just need support. I dont have many friends because I've moved a lot in recent years and have been really bad about keeping in touch. I know I'm making the right choice at least going to talk to the psychiatrist but I'm nervous.",4.518007829491083,6.3189141239669455,5.565798173118751,77.84429534580255,70.98347107438016,9.226968247063944,30.91866028708134,9.682069395223575,3.0984429752066114,1006,44,186,25,19,332,138,242,0.129,0.7909999999999999,0.08,-0.9347,1,0,1,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,2,2,12,15,2,3,17,0,19,5,1,4,3,33,39,18,0,2,3,0,1,0,1,0,4,1,0,0,2,11,0,1,4,0,0,3,3,9,2,3,13,2,22,6,29,24,5,32,0,1,0,0,8,15,2,4,14,118,24,1,0.11127670661009256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12279661281483638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333666585509317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185822803976574,0.06783324751646289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11771600082872985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11472139837121485,0.09584246434791724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11387470530946107,0.13041547140136206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09295740965761094,0.0,0.09855813338017284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088499713905848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12189819292890805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08597210749315193,0.0,0.1162749728541596,0.0,0.12648223347845147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225838377778488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07458643082843952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09890784969087726,0.0,0.0,0.12230953563123992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0785980287218866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892069533344306,0.0,0.21058542070535027,0.0742780657400246,0.11281711493290872,0.11179240839577184,0.0,0.3708100065180136,0.11209957500638586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1776400111489383,0.1182695287649238,0.0,0.08251026796935389,0.08582345612906593,0.10747173665307566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10622620768113794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2367129496007856,0.0,0.1266572536936932,0.07128670765734503,0.0,0.1098723232555542,0.0,0.12605481649169298,0.09502969943942377,0.1058496300956083,0.0,0.11140739569512448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11422394024601792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08566624523645731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12627548797249954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08944000168646186,0.0,0.0,0.2545092237395675,0.12920083302573013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0648863424879149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15109915878678526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20010224607539548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07165855070676362
bipolarreddit,virtual_girlfriend,2020/04/05,"Lithium withdrawl - only experiences please. I am being slowly taken off of Lithium, my choice (and my med lady likes the idea) and went from 750 to 450 ffor now, it's been about 2 weeks, but I also started a bunch on other meds around the time I started to taper off.  Can I get others' experiences with tapering down and off of Lithium??  I want to know if some of the things I'm feeling is due to to that, or will be attributed to that, even if it's not....",5.646451612903228,4.8001777311827984,6.762924731182796,79.70438709677421,67.38709677419354,9.160430107526883,30.42795698924732,8.238735603445708,2.0344898924731183,351,11,73,4,5,119,66,93,0.0,0.917,0.083,0.6261,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,4,0,7,0,0,1,0,16,16,8,0,3,5,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,1,7,1,18,10,2,13,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,4,7,56,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815903213818786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20214325177696651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1499796784291446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4442422383703756,0.0,0.0,0.11481501081763767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186363522821616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2563379544861911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12479346845185077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11093647446042364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5044541742523737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17269936798643767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24925813727862245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3214470981172125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15085731543076494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13240818375167446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13393363109030285,0.0,0.18214438947125808,0.0,0.0,0.21049909121896776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,emmyfitz,2020/04/05,"I hide my symptoms because SO uses them against me If I ask for help when I’m having symptoms he blows up at me, says my tone of voice was criticizing him, or that I’m being controlling, or just acting like a bitch.  My tone of voice changes when I’m stressed and panicky which is like always, so communicating when I need help or I’m just struggling mostly ends up in him yelling at me.  He’ll yell at me hat I’m yelling again, even if I’m not.  My voice gets louder in an anxious way but when I yell, I YELL and it isn’t often.   Mostly now I withdraw because I can’t explain things right.  I say I have a headache and hide in rooms apart from my family.  But I get shit on for withdrawing too.  

The lamictal memory issues are really challenging.  I feel stupid, frequently, because of it but I’m practicing all kinds of methods to improve and function better.  He talks down to me when I mess up, makes me feel even stupider.  The news overwhelms me, he talks to me about current events like I’m ignorant (I just can’t listen to the drama and negativity when I just need to feel safe and calm.  I do read the news, I try to get facts and stay objective and not debate the news.)  I do mindless things and it’s, “why did you do that?  Really, what kind of person does that?”  I just don’t answer, just say sorry I forgot.  Then he pushes for an answer and I’m like sorry I forgot.  It’s embarrassing enough.  But that answer is not good enough.  What I don’t feel safe saying is that I started an art project when I was feeling up, and walked away and paint leaked on the floor like I’m a grade schooler, and I’m embarrassed, and you’ll just make me feel stupider and I just can’t.  

But it doesn’t matter how I try to explain myself anymore.  I am so sick of feeling bad about myself because these symptoms are not my fault.  I’m not going to let him crush me anymore.  He is always cutting me down.  My daughter too.  I can’t change him.  We have a four year old together.  The BP (type 2) got much worse after pregnancy and the postpartum psychosis ripped a hole in what was a really great relationship.  I have to make it work though.  I just need to write it out, that I have the strength to get through this.  That I’m a worthy person despite this illness making me someone he apparently doesn’t like any more.",1.72966297365236,3.859919689507493,3.2520030723396367,89.82947281444933,80.15631691648822,6.20219718834373,23.00013965180151,7.34059242885,0.8778824504236096,1793,60,378,25,46,589,205,467,0.16699999999999998,0.7020000000000001,0.131,-0.9555,2,0,1,0,2,0,52.0,1,2,1,5,31,31,6,5,19,0,31,6,1,7,2,79,73,39,0,5,24,1,7,6,0,2,5,13,1,2,23,18,0,6,12,3,0,4,15,15,0,1,7,20,59,16,43,62,7,45,0,1,0,0,32,21,2,8,24,243,82,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14387127987555812,0.0,0.0,0.058790856128128136,0.0,0.0,0.09766703548168608,0.17147585772338494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08082168059421946,0.0,0.08122523423095848,0.0,0.07218446155974427,0.2108032531224539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07646045987675294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829111595551963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09696414587267416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07565541183484797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07657150401495519,0.17865766750170795,0.0,0.11420249387549278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08149998845839207,0.0,0.30599186819624263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18067204086339148,0.0,0.04913310812846668,0.07251249154075047,0.0691441871137849,0.09531449699682973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11589495441458855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902342429261476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18005453679465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08840382661322463,0.0,0.25341877335309776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308316123275761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06355274191235072,0.19231092650831608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09071765143995376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15097446863083874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08647617702099135,0.0,0.16615159706429986,0.0,0.0,0.09281793346374306,0.0,0.07383020317661237,0.0,0.2750028877797484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08874253802488791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07325116135951346,0.0,0.0,0.1935536221732254,0.061191723836387865,0.09214716235210554,0.0,0.0,0.09903136931007056,0.09037921831331898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2695726270035371,0.0,0.138974942267124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11487077330742801,0.0,0.08493941904649452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11739152768924314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07466744571106489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06862219404426963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07801018858761304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06293865470376643,0.0,0.08810277038998217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055672756929999366
bipolarreddit,confessions_of_,2020/04/06,"If you developed Bipolar /other mental illnesses as a result of taking Accutane (isotretinoin), there's new subreddit group for you. Introducing: r/AccutaneDamage. Discuss delayed post-exposure toxicity and stories. The damage to your mental and physical health can occur after you stop the drug. So many young men and women have had their mental health damaged, sometimes permanently, by taking accutane (or isotretinoin), even at a normal dose.

Although there's been a long-standing ""controversy"" about whether accutane actually causes mental health issues, there is irrefutable scientific proof that it does indeed change (sometimes permanently) key functions of the brain in multiple ways.

Keep in mind: the ""proof"" that accutane does NOT cause depression (which is, unfortunately, the current conviction of most dermatologists) is industry-funded, poorly conducted research.

If you developed mental health issues (depression, anxiety, suicidality, psychosis, brain fog/cognitive issues, memory issues, OCD, bipolar, schizophrenia, anhedonia, BPD etc), after taking accutane, there is very good reason to believe that accutane directly damaged your brain.

So: Introducing: [r/AccutaneDamage](https://www.reddit.com/r/AccutaneDamage/).

[r/AccutaneDamage](https://www.reddit.com/r/AccutaneDamage/) \--> please join, and share your story, gather support. The more public awareness the better.

Source:

This drug completely f\*\*ed up my body and life after I stopped taking it, and I am in horrific pain/disabled now with severe bodywide damage as a result of taking it years ago.

Thank you! I hope you can show support and find a new community here.

Research re: mental (sometimes permanent) and neurological damage caused by accutane use: (note: isotretinoin, or accutane, is a retinoid)

* [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27671426](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27671426) (apoptosis of hippocampal neurons)
* [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18466335](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18466335) (hint: using accutane will create a high concentration of RA, negative effect on dentritic morphology)
* [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15051884](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15051884) (suppresses hippocampal neurogenesis)
* [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15863802](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15863802) (21% decrease in brain metabolism of orbitofrontal cortex)
* [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/31666680](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/31666680) (retinoid dysregulation is involved in the aetiology of schizophrenia)
* [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25678793](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25678793) (altered retinoid signaling pathways associated with schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, or major depression)",16.182540703353958,22.25558975,10.052230543796812,38.975022793878225,52.10240963855422,12.625333767502447,46.02116574405731,11.262548206617515,8.06817264734614,2335,123,176,75,37,623,205,332,0.124,0.792,0.084,-0.9287,1,0,2,0,0,0,262.0,0,9,1,2,10,15,0,0,15,0,13,19,6,9,2,38,25,19,1,4,7,0,0,0,0,1,13,0,0,2,9,10,0,5,3,1,1,0,2,8,0,0,2,0,14,7,29,22,4,23,0,8,0,0,18,9,0,7,13,109,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.07180280425175778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06522362936222323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05628797987539931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08289869922845082,0.0,0.06507493088044869,0.0,0.08173003938534976,0.09267058019535916,0.32855542963396633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267586959149245,0.07783716632429051,0.0,0.07714651913076134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19012128646553544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0843282775369065,0.0,0.12877952091369735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1706573070833267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08206039375916138,0.04859844818682616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06725016723553202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06171484428147085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3128455139184459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07774059339642292,0.0,0.07308086884188493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30719078231722696,0.0,0.06540068209051651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051971251073063336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06511538449535202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0745978836983751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4449039027411813,0.0,0.07429414003503494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14212673522942448,0.0,0.0,0.07209211311497063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07829358625366566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08076800001543401,0.0,0.0,0.07046865119876519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07565179755528909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0831236902513247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2183154923997984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12303121558262185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08048383577622834,0.1669938851269154,0.0,0.0,0.27661246513133897,0.0,0.0,0.06774195393274772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12709781961812466,0.0,0.060710646436191965,0.0,0.058403840906707666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047382670925384236
bipolarreddit,patbaenlothmartucci,2020/04/06,"this had a title at first, but then it got longer, so now it's ""lthe stuff I've always wanted to post about on a message board but didn't because I thought nobody will respond"" 
I'm a 26 y/o guy from the US, and I'm on SSDI (social security disability insurance) for bipolar disorder and severe ADHD. Basically what this means is that I get $1300 a month and high-quality health insurance from the government, funded by taxpayers, because in their eyes I'm deemed unable to work and hold/sustain a job. And if we're being completely honest, I would agree with that; I've been fired from every job I've ever had, despite putting forth genuine effort. However, I still feel incredibly ashamed it; it's kind of my biggest existential issue right now. 

The main reason for that, I think, is because I'm pretty sure anyone who met me would be very surprised to find out that I get these benefits. I don't want to sound cocky or like I have a big ego, but I think (and I think most people that know me would agree) that I come off as an exceptionally capable/impressionable/likable person; that I'm articulate, funny (when I'm not depressed, which is most the time), tall, good looking, and very intelligent. 

(I absolutely cannot stress how much I hate saying those things, and I promise I never say them out loud to other people/make it seem like I even think them. I try really hard to be humble, and I hate people who put themselves above others.

Anyway though, I think it'd be fair to say that emotionally speaking my childhood was really rough. I was born almost 3 months premature, and my mom died during childbirth. On the other hand, my dad is a very hard/cold/judgemental/emotionally nonexistent/stern/authoritarian person (I'm very sure that he has aspergers to some degree). He loves me and has always worked very hard to provide for me, but I've never felt emotionally close to or loved for who I am by him (more on that later). I also have a stepmom, who my dad remarried when I was 4. We've gotten closer since I've grown up, but when I was a kid she was very distant and had no involvement in my parenting; she and my dad have a ""traditional"" relationship, and I think she was intimidated by my issues when they started popping up. So overall, I've always struggled with severe loneliness; feeling unliked/unwanted/misunderstood by anyone and everyone. The only exception was my grandma, whom I still tear up whenever I think about. She would always tell me how cute and special I was, buy me candy, and show me off to all of her friends. 

I was essentially reading by age 3 though, and when I went to school I got tested pretty much immediately. It put my IQ at 136, which made my dad very happy. I got A's grades without trying, had people telling me I was going to change the world, etc. And again, I guess if we're being honest I liked it; it did make
me feel good about myself.

Along with reading, at that same time (age 3-4) I fell DISGUSTINGLY in love with video games. I had no siblings or peers, so I drowned in the fantasy stuff. It was, and still is, the best. So of course it makes sense that my actual social life, upon going to school, was the complete opposite

Every kid in my class straight hated me, which to be honest I can't blame them for; I was (and on the inside still am) just the most annoying creature ever. I talked too much and too fast, was always trying to be funny (ultra cringe), hated sports, loved weird japanese cartoons, and was extremely sensitive; I'd get 0-100 worked up when people would tease me, but didn't have the heart (and genuinely didn't want) to say anything or fight back. So I'd just stew in it myself, then cry my eyes out in bed every night. It started from my first day of school, and after a few years the good grades and praise from adults didn't matter at all. I distinctly remember looking in the mirror one time in first grade, noticing that I was gaining weight, and thinking ""I'm ugly and I hate myself"". By 4th grade I had completely shut down; stopped doing all of my schoolwork, lying about homework. All I wanted to do was play video games,l. My dad, in response, locked me down to try and fix the problem; I could play video games for an hour a day, that was it. So at that point, life meant being happy for that hour and spending the rest of the day waiting for that hour, literally being unable to think or care about anything else. I gained more weight, got more awkward, and started being attracted to cool/edgy stuff (because I was the polar opposite of cool, and the biggest cupcake in the universe). Then my grandma died when I was 9, and I gradually started getting more quiet and less exited about things. 

Puberty, of course, was hell; this could be a full novel, but to sum it up I went from girl to girl, falling in love (or so I thought), not saying anything because I knew I never had a chance, becoming ""best friends"", caving and telling them how I felt, getting told I was loved like a brother, repeat. I was morbidly obese at this point, and had the worst self image ever. The one positive thing, though, was that at 12 I got into metal music. It was 100% me just trying to be cool, honestly the most pathetic thing ever, but it took hold and gave me my first actively creative outlet. I started playing bass at 16, because I thought I wasn't cool enough to be a guitarist. Now, however, I play guitar (half-lol)

(Another novel could be written about how my relationship with music, as a musician, affects my current emotional state, because it's a massive factor. it's too much to get into here though. suffice to say it's a big deal)

Anyway though, back to the important stuff. When I was 12 I started exhibiting volatile mood swings and outburts that I couldn't control, the next year I essentially got expelled from school (suspended for the 3rd time that year at the end of the year and being told I wasn't allowed to come back the following year). We moved, I started going to a public school (I had been going to a private catholic school up until then, because stepmom is catholic and we lived in a city with horrible public schools. This is why my ADHD was never noticed or addressed, because all of my teachers were middle aged women who only believed in laziness. It also should go without saying that I didn't believe in god, at all, which created lots of conflict). And then at 14, I started getting suiciadal. I was hospitalized, diagnosed with my bipolar disorder, and put on shit ton if antipsychotics.

The majority of high school, for that reason, is a complete blur. I failed every year, only passed because of summer school, and by my junior year I was barely even going anyway; I would just sleep all day. Stepmom would try to get me to get up and go, I wouldn't, she would call the police, they would threaten to take me to DH (county juvie) unless I got in the cop car with them and went to school, I'd go, sit in the bathroom for 20 minutes and then walk 4 miles right back home. I should, however, mention that I kind of had friends at this point; bad girl/first ""love""/object of obsession moved onto my street when I was 12, we became ""best friends"" (the first of many), and through her I met other ""bad kids""; all of whom I thought were WAY cooler than the kids who went to my school, who made fun of me all of the time but still went to church. 

Funnily enough though, they actually accepted me; they knew I was a complete ""poser"", that my parents weren't drug addicts, and that I forced my swear words. But I think they also knew I was an outcast, and in that sense I was genuine, I became the honorary fat joke of the group. However, I never really opened up to or connected to any of them; I never talked about how I read manga, certainly never opened up my emotions. I was more of a character to and around them, so I never felt much closeness. And then when we moved I lost pretty much all contact with them. I met some kind of similar people to them in high school, only one of whom I could call a real friend. Went to parties when I could, would drink as much as possible in a short period of time so I could be funny, was still the character around everyone. So point being, I still felt completely alone. 

The last specific event I'll talk about here is imo the absolute worst one; it's my most unpleasant memory, and I really feel like it sums me and my feelings about myself/the world in a nutshell.

Bad girl from old neighborhood and I had kept some contact through high school, I was still very much ""in love"". I had confessed that to her years earlier, so she knew, but obviously it wasn't reciprocated (again, my fault and not hers; I was repulsive. lol). We would also hang out sometimes too, and one time out of nowhere she started kissing me (first kiss). Then she told me we were going to have sex. So we did, kind of. And by that I mean it lasted for less than a minute because she had her eyes closed the entire time, intentionally. She looked so uncomfortable, so unhappy, I still get fucked up whenever I think about it. I already knew she wasn't doing it straight up out of desire, right from the start, but at that point I realized she was doing out
of pure pity. So I stopped, apologized, left, and we
pretty much stopped talking after that.

I'm gonna leave off there though. Things did a complete 180 after high school, so it's kind of lot lol. and idek if anyone is gonna read this, or want to hear more. if you do though, I'll be glad to share. and either way, if you got this far, thanks for reading. it means a lot",6.62525794783933,6.2493928748651575,6.88846754235675,78.04996002284412,65.235167206041,9.816435052985595,32.254140491147915,9.273590166951584,2.6693809632590897,7466,261,1447,118,102,2418,633,1854,0.121,0.7240000000000001,0.155,0.9972,10,1,2,0,1,0,311.0,9,2,15,19,95,91,12,5,79,5,137,31,8,15,28,272,272,145,3,34,40,9,16,5,5,17,10,12,4,13,97,96,5,9,42,22,3,33,30,29,0,11,111,37,212,61,215,118,54,259,4,4,6,11,137,106,3,30,120,993,309,35,0.0,0.0,0.04702794780749613,0.026267921661111814,0.0579168124487195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02412841069999793,0.02495592772197236,0.026590256767868636,0.07707744292690744,0.10024796179078944,0.0,0.0,0.016385934715749048,0.025266492412480752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05054492114181166,0.0,0.059486241803927274,0.042900648099886717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0741125705643504,0.060356828553321126,0.16157398565537076,0.026611860230095652,0.0,0.05429531257519745,0.0758610018712232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04920890493966048,0.0,0.024567220679579845,0.0,0.025490106086577514,0.041512706123902995,0.1768475311732578,0.0,0.02702542995079521,0.11543096310721808,0.0,0.02646804740148957,0.06215905550524543,0.024841657840019744,0.02075363218787828,0.024456676706014518,0.05001516377343415,0.0,0.0552316288483204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.023604659400992132,0.027943417440712468,0.0,0.020128905306199017,0.1355223648288135,0.021341680467134243,0.049794697151048214,0.026873128110967537,0.03183002820950988,0.08718393321615757,0.08120682672001056,0.046049039059666265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06091767017168141,0.017214006972859092,0.09254278604698328,0.0,0.022023076868342248,0.14347081480195487,0.0,0.0,0.09308157451235144,0.022276130476783302,0.1258903365897853,0.0,0.1232475183518772,0.06063110987226612,0.15417256500579415,0.0,0.026544182672357357,0.02385857855302639,0.0,0.051300742974750686,0.06475517116139283,0.1189478114882966,0.0,0.025612653039254044,0.02715765888574291,0.028553577043358987,0.0,0.12729240197750544,0.0241699995922751,0.0,0.071188373303117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05029940065817415,0.04782262311872012,0.0,0.0,0.1254600663903237,0.013242392778770965,0.03928250078745224,0.0,0.02551391766509567,0.02618010038141746,0.0,0.034039078395666784,0.058859826019814265,0.0,0.021276986675418764,0.0,0.060703078201617584,0.0,0.026303355011220355,0.06145602907241742,0.1739788244947647,0.04559995817285576,0.03216819739525015,0.024429306192668428,0.0,0.07874199947387757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028220648486400064,0.038465991857770686,0.0768298994309277,0.15941832347904022,0.0,0.14867300866800784,0.0,0.02562610104136313,0.022612226927602376,0.0,0.0,0.0548663369285102,0.02528443387219115,0.0,0.08163951122859914,0.07330360769335582,0.0,0.0,0.05351095256714216,0.0,0.0,0.08352478759490606,0.042078954954122935,0.0,0.0,0.11389135006163667,0.027164335081372518,0.023077065618638776,0.09805615196236073,0.0,0.0230563763489952,0.0,0.09689152692268688,0.0,0.0,0.12051134176761633,0.02742623611537821,0.06174541193910755,0.049548883557515126,0.0,0.051739630900185615,0.027295784961062927,0.061732910641710215,0.0,0.13413333993582655,0.0,0.3414065631898229,0.0,0.021935863734897292,0.025137119940482087,0.05444267264269243,0.024733938750893115,0.019932251497671676,0.0,0.024113149362808325,0.04912516066623506,0.0,0.0,0.023831310603940642,0.0,0.1705509424360072,0.0,0.1731860571649926,0.0604353720450692,0.027601597581595156,0.02519010724584303,0.1103354650465923,0.0,0.0,0.045419914095328036,0.0,0.018117003519094444,0.07746899708863254,0.06318223666382898,0.022184127118190355,0.0,0.0,0.08004072045068268,0.16983540402164268,0.189391598211288,0.07651732861697101,0.11240339406319937,0.0,0.0,0.0690735585894994,0.026771262294447817,0.09815658601938597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028984217654330225,0.0,0.0,0.1590521229198756,0.07106148146964564,0.03825216592220654,0.0,0.05868425853759464,0.0,0.13402199714826027,0.021742664447240767,0.0,0.0,0.04645488185191121,0.0,0.0526259739180545,0.0,0.0,0.1882862060938934,0.0,0.0,0.1241349720796836
bipolarreddit,Imnotwhoiam669,2020/04/06,"Anyone I can talk to about my symptoms? I'm diagnosed bipolar but I don't think it fits Sorry in advance, I'm kind of jumping all over the place. Really feel agitated right now.


I'm basically a big ball of confused. I was diagnosed BP II when I was in high school, but I don't think its entirely accurate. I've always struggled with mood regulation, since early childhood. I've struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts on and off for the vast majority of my life. Self harm too.


But I don't think I experience any mania. The only manic symptom I relate to is periods of  extreme irritability, but that could be depression too. My depression usually displays with anger.


I feel I go through some sort of cycles from relative ""normalcy"" and periods where I'm on edge, irritable, self destructive, suicidal. But I would rarely say I ever feel totally stable. I relate strongly to a lot of symptoms of Borderline personality disorder, and have been pretty comfortable with self identifying with that, except for the brief periods of ""normalcy"" I go through, where things feel ok and my world isn't constantly ending.


My mood seems capable of swinging as quickly as going from pissed to calm in a few minutes, or taking as long as a few weeks to get out of depression. 


I don't feel I fit cleanly into any diagnosis, and I have no idea how to get a correct one. I took a test with a professional and it said Bipolar 2, but it also said I was a social recluse with a drug problem who is incapable of holding down a job, which is absolutely inaccurate as I'm a very social person with friends and family and I've been consistently working since I was teenager, and I definitely don't have any drug problems. So I'm certainly taking those results with a grain of salt.


I'm just really lost and want a label I can identify with. Anybody well educated in mental health and bipolar, who can chat with me and maybe offer some insight? I'm not looking for a diagnosis, just some material to go to my doctors with.",5.676450635978195,6.872404188976378,7.2520341207349075,69.16922016959421,67.47769028871392,10.900908540278618,35.65122148193014,10.891193690592663,4.358876357762972,1600,80,277,48,26,553,197,381,0.23,0.677,0.09300000000000001,-0.9967,1,0,2,0,0,0,42.0,0,0,0,4,15,24,3,3,18,1,24,14,1,2,5,69,56,29,2,5,11,0,5,0,1,1,13,3,1,5,11,27,0,1,12,2,0,8,8,14,1,1,11,10,29,8,57,42,9,43,0,5,1,0,16,21,1,8,14,184,40,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07053501904463676,0.0733910376430601,0.0,0.0,0.1799409279836482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06167281182776507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09531490808927333,0.0,0.07042203159082812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3038726322056237,0.17904612210481616,0.0,0.0,0.10108700664543173,0.09027837118110853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.204572378792792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07812069425403106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07978365856817027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08627837239736684,0.08314889150958299,0.0,0.2229876271214204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06814456091554111,0.0,0.09216369357054917,0.0,0.2005086653178202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937544838699772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09319013871526886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09956919710232448,0.0,0.0,0.08752676540248455,0.0,0.0,0.09184869488288233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06229960288581601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0780558965208405,0.07406737283832836,0.0,0.09628278137943204,0.07498609219373313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08861065298913996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08888675915638795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059767882904624224,0.06708151137803825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15402897534533244,0.09215220155281692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08973303061789073,0.0,0.16879459236019467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11300877770877645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07532393157572881,0.16780038959757335,0.070141682573655,0.0,0.08926502089368657,0.0,0.08029568743056469,0.2760414201198559,0.0,0.0,0.14592302864265974,0.0,0.0,0.17982143732763076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987347939293552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844155308584283,0.0,0.19295710240021785,0.0,0.0,0.27502660479655994,0.13263368785733018,0.07089333762923845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05859741607348488,0.16954862777281604,0.0,0.07002244789517602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09799554443333204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971419200470746,0.07277579596070716,0.052023759569239936,0.0,0.07075023537851954,0.0,0.0793040911443723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06421202592432647,0.0,0.0,0.06265609155654638,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,YearZeroHS,2020/04/06,"Just diagnosed today, but I think it’s too late to salvage my marriage and the damage I’ve caused. I was just diagnosed with Bipolar today and my script for Lamictal and Wellbutrin has been called into the pharmacy. While I’m happy to know that I’ll finally be receiving treatment, I think that all my my cycles have caused too much harm on my relationship. My husband told me that he cannot take my mood swings and cycles of emotions anymore and he wants a divorce. I don’t know as though he will take the fact that I do actually have an issue that will finally be being treated as something to take seriously, and he may hold off on filing for the divorce and wait to see what comes of this or not. I know I need to concentrate on getting better but he’s been my life for more than half of my life. I can’t see myself being okay losing that. Sorry that this is a bit of a rant. I’m just feeling very lost. Extremely hurt. 

Anyone else here take Lamictal and Wellbutrin? How has it worked for you? 

Any advice you can give me would be much appreciated.",4.297857142857144,5.465226404761904,5.3223809523809535,81.83928571428571,70.66666666666667,8.266666666666667,27.809523809523807,8.648137234880735,1.9931809523809518,835,29,164,14,15,275,118,210,0.127,0.795,0.078,-0.8953,0,0,1,0,2,0,16.0,0,2,0,4,8,11,0,0,8,1,22,5,0,3,2,35,44,16,0,3,7,1,1,0,0,4,5,0,0,0,12,11,0,2,6,0,0,2,4,6,0,1,5,3,22,4,22,30,5,13,0,4,2,0,16,5,0,2,6,112,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.12248470252724344,0.0,0.0,0.12265197385746085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08535462136280754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12447732413476073,0.08776312694825486,0.12860512686907874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11100797014731577,0.13703006016777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12816502450623568,0.0,0.0,0.25787731369767725,0.0,0.10812020719042843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25479051592071955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10485182082454583,0.14118767512283306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06346424249830257,0.0,0.0,0.27499147256565826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.065576497156002,0.12040559047786333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336132350152717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13436658807135002,0.0,0.0,0.13100523016939006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20693956881505307,0.0,0.1415865815766217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17731015644829803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14041937243078675,0.13701463764507554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18453618741917235,0.0930679099726788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13475632246637087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20003868387263893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09662771186642244,0.0,0.14050395947620276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3774871564976253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16085010884735912,0.1233180196541087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2379474147522353,0.11993512610791808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10356316228125008,0.07403210069538592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09137654042010486,0.0,0.0,0.08916237730031724,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,doubleddog101,2020/04/06,caplyta? Has anyone tried this new drug Caplyta with any success? It came out a few months ago but i cant find any reviews about it.,0.08722222222221987,2.464210222222224,1.027685185185188,99.71708333333336,94.92592592592592,2.7,21.564814814814817,3.1291,-0.489362962962963,104,4,22,0,4,32,24,27,0.0,0.895,0.105,0.4039,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,5,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,3,2,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,12,4,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3015088773672313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.462606501588779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378300815924833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3890234688772141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3944482511656323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3108769417496989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2714922619941049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32850420010292425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23092912536487384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,superduperlostman,2020/04/06,"Zoloft + Lamictal I'm currently on Lamictal and want to get back on Zoloft....up until I found an article about its interaction.   


"" Lamotrigine toxicity secondary to sertraline""  
[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9627209](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9627209)",16.128749999999997,22.39472437500001,10.392500000000002,34.80250000000001,55.25,15.7,45.5,12.161744961471696,9.431662500000002,228,12,19,10,4,62,27,32,0.0,0.951,0.049,0.0772,1,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,4,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,6,3,0,5,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,11,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4948730525378787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7056519068697004,0.0,0.0,0.3362438230319618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3795999732295151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,aliya112233,2020/04/06,"Concentration tips? I can’t seem to concentrate lately (going through a hypomanic phase) and all I want to do is read my book but I can’t concentrate and it takes me a good 15 mins to read one page! 

I’m usually a very quick reader and this is so frustrating.

Any tips?!",0.5678441558441527,2.9907887454545445,2.9215584415584424,88.1109090909091,88.81818181818181,7.5064935064935066,20.584415584415584,8.418075326091056,1.465441558441558,211,7,46,6,7,72,40,55,0.11199999999999999,0.795,0.092,-0.4689,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,3,0,5,0,0,0,1,7,10,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,3,0,1,2,1,0,1,0,0,5,1,4,10,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,27,7,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20636941658216146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1724685015173423,0.254535510446904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3423263997813479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2056385381067796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6071025113559919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27626690083450683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281710205313469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3342283757857608,0.25039381627083224,0.1789939570338935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sporglorg,2020/04/06,"A discussion about online/Zoom therapy Hello everyone

I'm a psychology researcher as well as someone who sees a therapist and has recently transitioned to remote therapy sessions because of COVID-19.

As I'm sure we all know, telemental health— namely, live therapy sessions through technology/services like Zoom — has been on the rise in recent years, but is currently spiking because of COVID-19 and the need for everyone to stay indoors. 

Many therapists are adapting quickly and transitioning to remote sessions via apps like Zoom, including my own therapist. This is fantastic and is working for a lot of people, but, as I'm sure other patients and therapists on this sub are experiencing, many important parts of our usual therapy is getting left behind at the office.

For example, my therapist and I usually make use of an Oculus VR headset or actual physical objects/things for my exposure therapy. Now, we have to do things verbally or by sending links of images/videos. Additionally, my therapist usually gets a close-quarters view of my reaction and state of anxiety during our sessions, but this is significantly more difficult over video call (webcam quality, lag, etc.)

If you're a therapist, I'd really appreciate it if you could fill out my survey: [https://forms.gle/SkY9jkz7K8vBfkWs8](https://forms.gle/SkY9jkz7K8vBfkWs8). I'd love to understand this problem from your perspectives. This might turn into a research project at a later stage, but your answers from this survey won't be included there. My apologies if links aren't allowed here.

Otherwise, looking forward to discussing this with everyone and hearing your thoughts & experiences so far :).",11.921758241758239,12.14576833699634,10.903644688644693,51.620521978022005,54.274725274725284,14.979487179487181,48.80402930402929,13.816669648895859,7.539099633699635,1368,80,177,49,14,437,171,273,0.047,0.853,0.1,0.9327,2,0,0,0,0,0,56.0,4,4,0,1,7,8,0,0,12,0,17,1,0,3,3,41,33,22,0,6,9,0,0,2,0,2,0,1,0,0,11,14,0,0,6,1,0,4,2,2,1,0,2,5,16,6,37,27,6,27,0,0,3,1,18,11,0,7,13,122,27,8,0.0,0.0,0.07717053000338459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08568298866482417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06049587178481364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09641268989335844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08074937249280653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06313882855536994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881949409173095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266925678913783,0.0,0.07735527135151836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0826319195275594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08405818675834194,0.08912874269754321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043460219588312816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08592049265027725,0.0,0.0,0.07726884427871296,0.0,0.06982895980654696,0.0,0.06640716050848719,0.0,0.0,0.06723086386610172,0.07137265563120503,0.0,0.052786416545466515,0.1603491195678063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08389122810553057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05863670965197827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08563577550158041,0.0,0.05482401361423304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0756687402177413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05066057936573114,0.0,0.15616363092935626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0630164050575927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.067004103588294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08428860235136666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14906365286413634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.452173524079159,0.6427246382251632,0.05253714105761904,0.0,0.0,0.06278057069368416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08601617269490701,0.0,0.0823249168139927,0.0,0.06829960336796415,0.2612858602700633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07110228576757073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05757107547799083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05092483317875915
bipolarreddit,em20ly,2020/04/06,"I fucked up again I’m not really sure if I’m depressed or bipolar, but this community seems more uplifting than the depression subs so I’m posting here. I fucked up my back a little over 6 months ago. The pain was unbearable until recently, when I finally decided to go to the doctor and start physical therapy. Today playing with my little brother, I fucked it up again, and it feels like it did before I started therapy and now I think I’ve reversed 2 weeks of work. I don’t know what to do anymore",2.8713555555555534,4.938147780000001,4.9093333333333335,79.65522222222225,76.2,8.844444444444445,29.11111111111111,9.444778638647367,2.9933777777777766,398,18,75,11,9,137,71,100,0.257,0.693,0.05,-0.9769,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,7,9,3,0,4,0,4,6,0,0,1,14,17,9,0,1,4,1,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,5,1,0,1,2,6,0,0,2,1,9,3,11,15,1,22,0,2,0,3,1,6,3,3,15,48,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14544294513907358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16271871153752498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12616385724340168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13961608334652725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2826358086025447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16793812758252774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08296145374115599,0.11721550078606435,0.0,0.17973658419604074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4550551989775656,0.0,0.0,0.0932478327228416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09017155062250982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0801589542048064,0.32889331619986795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130963421414613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17458779711557393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15713888157629444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10511090464142876,0.0,0.16200466639529065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493680847762429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2322668296659979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1546391257055371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.375269045604428,0.0,0.0,0.1051328932568367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15552429734210735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13161139152207055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11944884761355425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Lynnabis,2020/04/06,"What’s it called when you gap out? I know there’s a medical term for “gapping out” but I can’t remember what it is. I’ll explain a bit...you’re talking to others and all of a sudden you’re staring off into space, thoughts are elsewhere or no where, and when you come to you’re unsure what you were supposed to be taking about and those around you say you looked vacant and they were trying to get your attention and couldn’t...I don’t know what it’s called? I need to describe it to my doctor because its happening a lot lately 😢",2.082201834862385,4.0331860733945,3.2756788990825685,90.99168348623851,78.1743119266055,5.827889908256882,23.74403669724771,6.742157984588678,0.7134433027522937,418,14,87,4,10,135,72,109,0.06,0.94,0.0,-0.6868,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,6,1,0,6,0,0,0,4,0,7,2,0,0,1,21,17,9,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,11,10,0,0,6,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,3,11,0,14,13,3,13,0,0,2,0,12,7,0,2,5,61,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2038925322737584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13961954398846754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2500503638026869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4677471638752482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19729610502460665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344302745439279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196629918332394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20253769936899066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2517467792785605,0.0,0.2583650345731964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19233438000784694,0.0,0.0,0.1947200636206394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307318625706973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16982890264028092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2594556009108771,0.0,0.0,0.1821403475449044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17220820142950302,0.1840922070959508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18183072500691125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15550188454217814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Sondra282,2020/04/07,"Medication mind control I’m starting to feel afraid to take my medication because it could be a way to control the population, dull people down, and make them not think for themselves. We’re living in weird times and nothing surprises me anymore. 

Currently on lamictal. Also, I was prescribed Zoloft a few days ago and I went to go pick it up and they said someone else already picked it up?!",4.043737769080239,6.653473452054797,4.803170254403135,79.20068493150687,74.75342465753424,7.4590998043052865,32.34637964774951,8.418075326091056,2.8829037181996093,314,16,54,6,7,101,59,73,0.09,0.91,0.0,-0.6551,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,2,2,1,4,0,1,3,0,3,3,0,5,0,14,12,5,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,4,0,2,2,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,3,2,6,1,10,7,1,13,0,1,0,0,3,5,0,0,5,32,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809647069842409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22528217357942,0.16325692177500964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2024597612904815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12444660395073387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4579382331193276,0.16299540651411035,0.0,0.0,0.13165844217031938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17053929109231078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10322326155386444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11602189923663166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18026624741927647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13627024162645338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4113148618007584,0.0,0.0,0.20613108184183973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19588531984252533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14153037980345973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941913070230479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17297376831928382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444968634692955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15349373897207194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130809667010227,0.0,0.0,0.1190402237994794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16204302121460962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18924705572042155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bluetsforever,2020/04/07,Can you drink coffee or alcohol ever if you’re bipolar? I’m on Lithium and Seroquel and REALLY miss coffee and the occasional beer or glass of wine.,5.309655172413795,6.489111862068968,7.1546551724137935,69.59336206896553,68.3103448275862,9.937931034482759,31.74137931034483,10.125756701596842,3.532158620689655,120,5,20,3,2,42,24,29,0.092,0.9079999999999999,0.0,-0.3871,0,0,4,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,5,0,0,1,7,3,6,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,3,1,12,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5856074578954742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5367966472729326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.49566530755082205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3510401225277363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Clinton_Dix_Lewinsky,2020/04/07,"I'm so manic right now And bored. 


But it also feels like it's about to crash. 


Oh boy.",-3.6225000000000014,-2.608744249999999,-0.6600000000000001,108.70000000000003,116.5,2.0,5.0,3.1291,-2.9819999999999998,65,0,18,0,4,22,19,20,0.215,0.6729999999999999,0.11199999999999999,-0.3182,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,4,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,9,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5190736373342681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32819725650660103,0.4637069873204179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3171105093762928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5543156813580533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,grehjeds9k,2020/04/07,"How do you get yourself to stay on your meds? I have bp1. Am on lithium and it has quite literally changed me. I'm a different person- in a good way, I experience no mood symptoms or episodes  now. I have been on it 4 months. No other med has worked like this for me

However ---- I am very poor at med 'adherance'. It's not a self destructive thing, more of a thing where when I feel better I think I am cured and no longer have a mental illness. So  I usually go off my meds when I feel better. Leading to an episode, leading to hospitalisation, leading to going back on meds - it's a vicious cycle 


How do you get used to the idea of taking this medicstion for years? Or even the rest of your life?",2.265258215962444,3.8932296338028185,3.9827464788732416,87.58473004694841,76.60563380281691,6.986854460093897,26.622065727699532,7.793537801064563,1.4174769953051642,536,21,117,8,12,180,88,142,0.11,0.789,0.10099999999999999,0.1943,2,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,4,0,7,9,7,2,0,9,0,11,3,0,6,0,15,21,9,0,0,3,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,2,9,2,0,0,4,0,1,5,4,2,0,0,1,2,16,4,17,20,2,22,0,0,0,0,6,8,0,2,8,81,25,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008812002567248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320634221414284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387873866527099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13707131821436844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08665335517387503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12833432124916766,0.0,0.0,0.13267271960945495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13708841195703506,0.0,0.14912279145476964,0.11004051611821504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14810369009512495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09266722387414776,0.06409546829171338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7286428266194426,0.0,0.1322141527176216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047189538327498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11455480356425513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13954250667140225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13686546351222548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398368900116503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363623029012494,0.09864264840063164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743208502847292,0.08406474476878363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11331074258642618,0.1444932493240068,0.10824998337903637,0.0,0.10413683889971022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09551184768622148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0844855662263134
bipolarreddit,new--beginnings,2020/04/07,"Does anyone else NOT miss going outside? Lock-down has had a lot positive effects on my mental well-being. I've taken this opportunity to improve my cooking and my baking, and developed a new interest in meditation. My house is consistently clean, and I get to spend a lot more time with my SO now that he's taking his classes online. I'm slowly settling into a sleep schedule, though I haven't accomplished that just yet. Best of all, perhaps, is that I no longer suffer from fear of missing out, because there's nothing really going on! I no longer need to feel guilty about wanting to cancel plans with my friends, because there are no plans. 

I feel so comfortable and sheltered at home, that I'm dreading the time when we're allowed and *expected* to go back outside. Of course I don't mean that I would rather have a raging pandemic endangering people's lives and destroying the economy - it just feels great to be free from the obligation of facing the world everyday.",7.795409836065573,7.644064743169402,7.860661202185793,71.2998442622951,62.77049180327869,10.817267759562842,36.3327868852459,10.355215969177356,3.820989508196721,780,33,134,16,10,253,123,183,0.161,0.664,0.175,0.7203,2,1,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,6,13,14,2,2,9,0,10,4,2,2,1,27,26,10,0,5,4,0,3,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,7,10,2,0,5,1,2,3,6,7,0,0,2,3,14,8,21,22,5,19,0,3,0,0,3,7,0,2,9,88,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12399671904664784,0.181700610938188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13635962895722165,0.0,0.21620347695734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18610208747248505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15518700823684153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14814059412418415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1995511188111764,0.26899763443513564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13700854110558774,0.0,0.092650191221084,0.0,0.3023506132969809,0.0,0.0,0.1955124064730054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17788141208445313,0.0,0.0,0.20462072081367366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1565900082156073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30152766285795946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1931697461460068,0.0,0.0,0.17871191819277066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13149161711096533,0.0,0.17127119804635124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1701576655784863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12294172455165835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11360530875820805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17746301741066475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13333381146375842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17423068625910634,0.0,0.20681086880776686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10459674705723836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15944541553157254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12597365923569673,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,CaptMcnomnom,2020/04/07,"""It's only temporary"" I get it now. I have ascended to a higher plane of thought. It is all temporary because you have to die at some point. I've cracked the magician's secret. And suicide is the ultimate cheat code. Up, up, down B my ass with a baseball bat out of this painful experience.",1.7560919540229882,4.049586448275863,3.845517241379312,84.70954022988506,81.06896551724137,8.004597701149425,30.356321839080447,8.841846274778883,2.832990804597701,226,12,46,6,6,77,45,58,0.289,0.711,0.0,-0.96,0,0,0,0,0,1,10.0,0,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,4,0,4,2,1,0,1,7,6,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,4,0,10,5,2,7,0,0,0,1,2,6,1,1,1,30,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22862097299588016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3892324279820042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36686119684671775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19594298078192368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2852349072730641,0.3990691244593356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35453413218001284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4102330141358752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2977399587772613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hyper_thymic,2020/04/07,"Depression vs Stay-At-Home I was joking with my uncle about how years of bipolar depression has prepared me for the current stay-at-home order I'm under, but it got me thinking: it's kind of weird living like a depressed person while having energy and not having the delusions that make me think everything's fine.

Not that I want to be actually depressed. I have no desire to spend 12 hours a day being my own worst enemy and living off of M&M's and diet soda.",6.8659782608695625,6.430152771739135,7.746869565217391,72.29378260869571,64.76086956521739,9.968695652173913,31.44347826086956,9.3871,2.844849565217391,373,12,65,6,5,126,67,92,0.28,0.586,0.133,-0.9588,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,2,10,0,0,4,0,7,3,0,2,0,14,13,6,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,4,2,0,2,1,1,0,3,6,0,0,2,0,8,4,10,9,2,8,0,4,0,0,1,2,0,0,6,44,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.17988962941963693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19973273577110534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11888430158258892,0.0,0.6350884318696609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1656732563797656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14743384986249847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18153815180857544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19196214933555691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09005940326165753,0.0,0.32555188364800725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1230486418887896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609589183871681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3929646573794809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.236235757409982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087287382380512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11870916745527126
bipolarreddit,BraidedMoonseed,2020/04/07,"I need to vent... I’m fucking TIRED of people judging me for being bipolar and then REFUSING TO TALK TO ME because of it! First it was my “BEST FRIEND” from HS. When she found out I had a manic episode she stopped talking to me and got married and had two kids before I confronted her about it. Now it’s my coworker who has been ignoring me since she found out, OVER A YEAR AND A HALF AGO. She goes out of her way and even breaks work protocol just to avoid talking to me. I know it’s not me, so WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE? Someone please chime in.",2.581538461538461,3.78423587179487,3.59965811965812,92.4092307692308,74.8974358974359,6.90940170940171,25.82051282051281,7.3871296695380915,1.0214205128205132,435,15,99,5,9,140,79,117,0.187,0.7290000000000001,0.085,-0.9084,0,1,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,3,6,8,3,1,4,0,7,4,0,0,0,19,15,8,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,8,9,0,4,3,0,0,0,1,6,0,3,7,0,18,2,18,7,1,14,0,0,0,2,13,5,2,0,7,71,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16038609736295492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11029501536711044,0.0,0.15396057000660085,0.0,0.18987791395861006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11950447282369896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15390143075535573,0.0,0.3967671678816588,0.13978830830410624,0.3345390976919796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14470856720282646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994359890311734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13415945140199334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25087218003177203,0.0,0.0,0.19860998906309532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14966956307672816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15330385747155542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15126800451053948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43628102980246736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20795575014398612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1767451509355291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436161128356205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13172130476951854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19782172082871208,0.0,0.1165148543045825
bipolarreddit,voiceinheadphone,2020/04/07,"Sometimes I feel like my bipolar makes me a terrible partner. I’m sure that it does. Sometimes even I step back and realize how crazy I’m acting. It’s embarrassing. When I’m manic I mean, it’s like I live in my own little world. Like my perspective is the only thing that’s real and that matters. It makes me feel like shit when I “come to”. Does anyone understand?",0.9482732732732728,3.4050300135135174,2.9247747747747748,88.73809309309307,86.7027027027027,5.991591591591593,21.735735735735737,7.3871296695380915,0.9969177177177181,287,10,58,5,9,96,46,74,0.152,0.677,0.171,-0.1477,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,5,8,1,1,2,0,1,2,1,3,1,14,11,5,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,1,0,0,1,8,3,0,0,5,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,0,2,10,5,2,11,1,9,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,7,31,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365745282536735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15019149007218804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1682536482596901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3418573104837092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290091364912292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1975225651495492,0.2790778770920537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38170021233328455,0.195765167275848,0.1724739708091783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2607595155822535,0.0,0.0,0.2127642340508038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14855210099038235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223205719555339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20049646574465327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38635929346114734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840898116198781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297640600443243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20333834756784336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,gildrop9,2020/04/07,"Does this sound like rapid mood changes, a mixed episode, or hypomanic emotional breakdown For the last 2~3 weeks I have only been sleeping 5-7 hrs average when I normally sleep 8. Its like i’m not feeling tired when I should be going to sleep so I stay up late, and I can’t sleep in. Don’t feel tired during the day. My sex drive has also been very increased. 

I was acting hyper/happy/creative for a few days, but now it has been more of agitation. I sometimes get bouts of bad anxiety. During one of those anxious times I broke down crying over something trivial (not normal at all for me) and was depressed feeling for the rest of the day and the beginning of the next, but then I went back to feeling sped up and still am days later.

I know that I have many of the hypomania markers right now. What I am wondering is, in your experience can hypomania include anxious and depressive breakdowns for a day or so in the middle of an episode that otherwise is typical manic stuff? 

Is it normal to have a one off depressed breakdown day in hypomania or did I do a rapid double mood flip, or could this be a mixed episode? I don’t know what those are like.",6.137914979757088,5.980028324561406,6.621052631578952,78.83082995951419,66.19298245614036,9.646963562753037,33.766531713900136,9.265573868473778,2.8536588394062083,910,37,180,15,13,297,130,228,0.174,0.77,0.055999999999999994,-0.9827,0,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,0,0,9,10,0,0,15,0,26,7,4,0,1,26,38,17,0,5,8,0,4,3,0,1,2,1,0,0,12,5,0,0,7,0,0,5,5,5,0,2,7,5,17,3,25,27,6,39,0,4,0,1,1,12,0,5,24,125,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08486157405277495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08117906865477054,0.23976357910472265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08159727614669683,0.08860310325768457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11225751364535977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847256374172103,0.0,0.11656433214702573,0.4106193790168522,0.0,0.27419475704908675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09286353492098327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11936712752272907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103802601707935,0.0,0.0,0.21462338892789545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05544165304587885,0.0,0.060308628184119924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166380463863884,0.08649936279577408,0.11970438300552955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555299385606433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075857889314245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11285643055220565,0.0,0.31191582712593297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14381499260328076,0.08070661527399567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09062317532394423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.424773782334854,0.0,0.0,0.08169390419209083,0.1049522377907008,0.0,0.0,0.1131063994157354,0.08474502097817042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12147835841645548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061877564867603464,0.243931323738393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0875574811181508,0.0,0.0,0.08512050354769155,0.0,0.0,0.0983713453535574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11507915303838764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,clauquick,2020/04/08,I have been feeling pretty stable during this quarantine. Bipolar hasn’t really been “showing face” ..... then I remembered my apartment lease ends during quarantine... Excuse me while I slip into my depression and avoid remote work! Stay tuned for mania—when I avoid my problems and finances (that I ruined) by practicing some good ole self-destruction!,7.270344827586207,10.236809482758623,6.634000000000004,68.16100000000002,66.24137931034483,9.467586206896552,32.289655172413795,9.888512548439397,4.053657931034483,282,12,36,7,5,87,47,58,0.16699999999999998,0.6509999999999999,0.18100000000000002,-0.3147,0,4,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,0,6,0,2,0,0,4,2,1,0,0,9,5,4,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,2,2,1,1,0,1,5,0,0,2,1,9,1,3,3,1,6,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,1,3,23,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2889660000989493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2971537697184242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16963908125093824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2814018150773287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3413245180548189,0.0,0.3210285693622622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21493014513053665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38005654761321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35000008371793595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3575987831770401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2442482846174427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,elpoochi,2020/04/08,"Drug use and epival Hey guys anyone here who used mdma and lsd? Were you on m medications when you took them? Share your experiences! Of course (drug use is strictly prohibited when on meds) my doctors forbid me to even drink.

But I took mdma once after overdosing on epival (of course you should never do that) but the experience turned out so amazing and I did not have any side effects or what soever. 

I also had weed induced psychosis which was quite scary and traumatizing but I moved past the experience and turned it into a lesson. I dont recall being on meds that time because I’m stubborn on taking my meds before. 

Just curious about your experiences! I don’t mean harm nor recommendation of their usage. Thank you.",3.962974358974361,6.5680781407407425,5.0674074074074085,77.22794871794873,75.0,7.413105413105412,23.71794871794872,8.384062270229773,1.7450854700854703,579,18,100,11,13,190,96,135,0.136,0.7659999999999999,0.09699999999999999,-0.7833,0,0,3,0,0,0,14.0,0,6,2,3,8,6,1,0,3,0,11,5,0,5,1,24,22,14,0,1,6,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,6,7,1,2,4,1,0,3,5,3,0,0,6,0,17,3,13,14,0,17,0,0,0,0,12,8,0,1,6,69,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09956128973754064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08466315082103483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08705214474284352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07589304182684019,0.0,0.10593893060628196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12742934207627493,0.0,0.0,0.14591114517299988,0.1219609911557004,0.2887571330263326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08222998949060377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4871331233015849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232729453309092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13561520684361306,0.41486881971340894,0.12541899505350812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323220488775602,0.0,0.0,0.0960208066722208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13258668518662586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11884776739746444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324193256459314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09360726915920677,0.0,0.0,0.11462135866043585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0725959921531232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2766445072096955,0.0,0.27083691988429753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32257981771247546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,gonnasayno,2020/04/08,"I wish I could start living with bipolar disorder instead of struggling with it How long were you on medication before you felt more in control of your bipolar disorder? 
I’m 27 and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 20. I haven’t been able to get anything under control but I’ve also never taken my medication for more than a few months. I would really like to finish school, I’ve managed to get credit for about 2 years worth of undergrad in the last 7 years but can’t seem to finish even 1 class now. My family has never been even the slightest supportive but now I have a great therapist whom I’ve been seeing for over a year and recently started up medication again (Latuda and Wellbutrin). I’m hoping to be back in school this fall but everything seems impossible right now.",6.748133333333335,7.1977314133333365,7.351333333333336,72.04233333333336,64.86666666666667,10.666666666666668,33.333333333333336,10.504223727775694,3.6103333333333336,632,25,110,15,9,209,96,150,0.049,0.797,0.154,0.9583,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,3,0,2,11,6,0,1,5,0,12,7,0,3,2,22,26,9,0,4,4,0,1,1,0,1,7,0,0,0,3,6,0,2,3,0,2,1,4,1,0,0,7,2,10,5,24,16,3,28,0,0,1,0,4,9,0,3,19,76,13,6,0.12320349010018862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09852578652092588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10138597473476704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947358789894565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10483709570943882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2763663807055277,0.0983679616857692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12504894903859873,0.0,0.0,0.4236056205138795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16274948650277166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11072735269514793,0.0,0.11614528563663465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11829467138347148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12873747708163988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13583228278198642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223688648603528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10042728818242884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06019100201428791,0.0,0.10879093895104153,0.109031211750932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3723436638341877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09833985036811208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19004425363901506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.078927310563846,0.0,0.12164858309414282,0.0,0.0,0.10521510737312802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24937701900361464,0.09817723040021442,0.22431966037546133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17440812883559392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12879903819833366,0.0,0.0,0.13980986053828182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14304874791448888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416779333375744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08752022448635415,0.0,0.0,0.2380170247182859
bipolarreddit,Doggostrophic,2020/04/08,"Coffee? I usually drink a lot of coffee. Like three or 4 cups a day, if I make a pot at home I'll drink the whole thing if nobody else has any.

This past weekend I got sick (not this virus going around, my Crohn's flared up) so I've slowed down on my coffee consumption. I'm down to one cup a day in the morning and that's it. I've noticed this before last time I was sick and stopped drinking coffee, but it seems coffee actually seemed to slow me down when I'm feeling hypo. I don't know if it's because I'm essentially constantly crashing because I space out the coffee all day, but it seems that my hypomanic symptoms are more intense when I don't drink it.

It just seems backwards to me so I was wondering if anyone else felt the same way.",4.062692307692308,4.389708089743594,5.244,85.251,70.66666666666667,8.034871794871796,27.779487179487177,7.908726449838941,1.5191533333333331,586,19,127,7,10,195,93,156,0.042,0.919,0.039,-0.0927,1,0,4,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,8,0,6,7,0,1,1,26,20,13,0,4,9,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,1,0,12,4,4,1,8,5,0,1,3,0,0,2,4,2,13,1,13,16,5,27,0,0,0,0,0,11,0,11,15,74,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.1289318408987651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0898473706059423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09238265095148268,0.1353744215736777,0.0,0.11761643433624028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16108047454653066,0.0,0.11242594053580818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14277675402696302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2556229379057348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5177163507650484,0.0,0.0,0.22074166000426526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06680476376004428,0.0,0.12685766999422654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0750878770232451,0.0,0.1056698917824834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13252896148947854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07261069889166223,0.10769692018808648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06454804921345972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11232524958803043,0.0,0.0,0.0881923431050368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15042157171138856,0.0,0.0,0.08952916691891782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12612523039239162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4811149837321127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11045976043959273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13732516312184442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08777586873926915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0770412977574559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14551352251504668,0.0,0.0,0.10487215370110116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14750929755529918,0.0,0.0,0.14328048160712364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,codekings,2020/04/08,"Tik Tok and the portrayal of Bipolar Not sure if any of you use the app Tik Tok because I see all the hate it gets on reddit, but I just wanted to note how there is such a horrible portrayal of people with Bipolar disorder on there. It makes me sad that many people (especially adolescents) will only know what bipolar is through that site. They act like people that are Bipolar are fucking nuts and can never control their emotions. They act like destructive behavior is the only symptom of Bipolar. They also seem to pretend like it makes us inherently angry.....",7.616474358974358,7.933900519230771,7.6219230769230775,71.2897435897436,63.03846153846154,10.394871794871797,37.52564102564102,10.125756701596842,3.989864102564102,450,21,74,9,6,145,70,104,0.212,0.711,0.077,-0.9518,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,1,1,4,1,6,8,3,0,5,0,7,7,0,5,3,18,17,6,0,2,4,0,0,3,0,1,6,0,0,0,7,3,0,1,2,1,0,2,2,4,0,0,0,1,9,4,10,16,1,6,0,1,1,1,6,3,1,2,4,51,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571960582586749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13367357558254064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11982656166758812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22046870781842604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252849605920479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22111352684271848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817247573989684,0.10269912406688653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19407106820798486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10802911293826742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2881008696320257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2624225007887498,0.19928998646845966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1516060344284591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2989989742255231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4088283226291229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15663994345672771,0.17894892112055286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18526383831917986,0.20431032592442408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2364481536468644,0.16977239498027824,0.0,0.0,0.11594141535435452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,xodevi,2020/04/08,"High frequency buzz Has anyone else experienced a constant high frequency buzz/white noise in their head while on Lamictal?

It’s hard to describe this sound, but you’ll know what I’m talking about if you have it. It’s not Tinnitus. My psychiatrist said she’s never heard anything of this side effect.",6.17625,7.810166982142861,6.095000000000002,76.3,66.67857142857143,9.885714285714286,31.857142857142854,10.125756701596842,3.3441928571428576,245,10,43,6,4,77,47,56,0.024,0.976,0.0,-0.0516,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,1,1,1,6,7,3,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,6,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,5,5,0,5,4,0,8,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,1,3,24,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1950560029956008,0.2858284895274399,0.229561117069496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3014577160793034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330361028374171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2498942440645888,0.0,0.2862944451577531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5894751816139028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15330965884452594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21515190474886528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26535577287617684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22421826842588413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,somewheresomehow_,2020/04/08,"Has anyone succeeded in taking medication as-needed? I've continuously been informed that ""it doesn't work that way"" and that medicating daily is essential to prevent episodes. I'm prescribed geodon, an antipsychotic that treats acute mania - although I struggle mostly with depressive symptoms.

I'm wondering if anyone has successfully been able to treat themselves when they feel psychosis arising? The common concern is that because mania initially feels ""good"" it's difficult for the person to decide to supplement it. However my last two manic ""swings"" I recall feeling particularly concerned for myself and was trying to make sure I was sleeping by taking cold medicine (DONT TRY THIS IT MAKES IT WORSE), THC oil, and xanax.

This being said I'm inclined to feel that because I have had this instinct but just the wrong medication, I'd be able to prevent psychosis so long as I have Geodon on hand.

Background:

I've had four episodes. I'm 21 now. The first one was when I was a 16 and was drug induced. The second I was 19 and was also drug induced. The third I had just turned 21 and was induced by a lack of sleep/stress/alcohol every night (a friend was visiting from cali). The last was due to a breakup and sleep deprivation. I recall wanting to take medicine in all but the first.",5.841820330969268,7.829301297872341,5.871028368794326,76.22361111111111,67.93617021276596,8.286052009456265,33.05555555555556,8.841846274778883,2.9906548463356977,1035,47,172,18,18,326,139,235,0.069,0.845,0.086,0.2287,1,0,3,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,1,5,7,12,0,1,13,0,25,10,3,5,2,32,42,16,0,3,5,0,5,0,1,0,7,1,0,1,14,8,0,2,10,0,0,1,2,5,0,7,16,8,12,7,20,24,3,17,0,2,0,0,6,3,0,3,12,112,26,3,0.2373549991580189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268301549176601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09490635353633424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16596413418990186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14468940443727554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022167564875572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13908914564270272,0.0,0.2752564437983783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09999091191390128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24002763858810297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20189404103095332,0.0,0.0,0.0916899417824764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09954105603104306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19347600366351975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050258525643042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584363050297517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3586652859589811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08799786218069856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11137079392059968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08041894511256675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10362461502783812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11288947897358527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3562896211496735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359446747983393,0.12406749020769957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11185213886269976,0.1233513628655953,0.26769213025907684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611484640369559,0.1290870404400705,0.11593067257354905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06999906407968792,0.09420067518291013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12870068585024072,0.08639863313571708,0.0,0.12094251097344895,0.0,0.12975521548364788,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SquadGoalss,2020/04/08,"Question about how to deal with suspected bipolar girlfriend: Hi there,

Not sure if this is the right place to give it a go but I'll try here.

I have been with a girl (on and off) for 5 months and its been great 90% of the time. However, the 10% has been hell and everyone I describe it to guesses that she might have a personality disorder. So, I've googled the symptons of bipolar and it all fits: Dysfunctional childhood / family life and abuse, depression with self-harm and struggled to leave house for a whole month at one point and the random bursts of energy and spontanous ideas at 3am etc. that I didn't understand before are explained quite neatly by mania. 

Anyway, the main problem for me is that everything will be going well in our relationship and then all of a sudden I will do something small and she will overreact massively and be quite cruel, which is something that she would never do normally. She also refuses to ever admit she is wrong and I genuinely thinks I'm trying to manipulate her when I tell her that she just went off the rails for half an hour and I don't know what to do. She doesn't realise she has a problem, has a victim complex and gets in moods where whatever I say is wrong. I really feel if I tell her that she could probably do with some therapy that that would be it for us, and I don't want that because I love her. But her behaviour is really clawing away at my mental health and self-esteem.

Thanks for any adbice",6.510039198606273,6.233033198606275,6.864858449477353,77.79359429442509,65.44599303135888,10.519947735191641,31.874782229965163,10.125756701596842,2.9635576655052267,1156,40,227,24,16,376,168,287,0.17600000000000002,0.741,0.083,-0.9823,1,0,2,0,1,0,27.0,2,0,0,2,12,16,3,1,15,0,33,5,0,2,5,55,49,25,0,9,6,0,1,0,1,6,4,1,0,2,17,20,0,1,10,0,0,3,6,9,1,2,5,2,30,6,32,34,6,28,1,1,0,1,31,15,1,7,10,169,47,0,0.0,0.13344054722768886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09006505059350367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07658790863600849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10581357761930428,0.0,0.0,0.06865429997791526,0.0,0.09583438673835074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0899207787001727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161099842043063,0.09700253988824016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290764005054723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12560508242159496,0.0,0.1018744921714664,0.0,0.1076166742226791,0.10121882782894742,0.0,0.1061715049068774,0.0,0.056945875085697976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058841181563038365,0.10803881753028877,0.12801317225743702,0.0,0.0,0.12416791433978945,0.1240675904423126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11971361810753453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11091155768784508,0.12995251090444845,0.0,0.12713833349786652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061894984073619076,0.0,0.0,0.1192521286687956,0.0,0.0,0.07954937790993408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10164719427173127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11349809738403092,0.11947583966889334,0.0,0.0,0.1797901627891184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08686226176619864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11034721374026916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07631666469481006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09833858163817796,0.11766768915033395,0.0,0.10646570322983924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12142728711570605,0.2155311461844244,0.0,0.0,0.12616420482898166,0.23957811907214566,0.0,0.0,0.1442991214819112,0.0,0.0,0.12091559599696215,0.0,0.09617993728727094,0.0,0.08956280547272437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349819499187505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1734062959912987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11773863778558875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10614640822549258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19687597739448595,0.1036886775378498,0.1287948995035359,0.0,0.0,0.07216465402693194,0.0,0.0,0.06567172566157788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15292806040638068,0.0,0.0,0.11724513735393916,0.13547232136000562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06642831604968763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10126214011042806,0.1044032036302944,0.0,0.12574022509435415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16000914531434104,0.2462724488267618,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,my-name-is-tom2,2020/04/08,"I have Bipolar Type II disorder — and I just got accepted into a Physics PhD program! I started experiencing symptoms for Bipolar II disorder in the months leading up to my 21st birthday. Months of depression, during which all I wanted to do was sleep or lie in bed watching tv - I didn’t even want to eat. I was struggling to do simple things like pick out clothes for the day or buy things at the grocery store; it was a total loss of self-confidence, and I didn’t think I would ever be able to accomplish anything. Things got dark. 

My first hypomanic episode immediately followed the first serious depressive episode. During this, I came up with extravagant philosophies for life, dreamed up how I was going to become super-successful, and truly believed I had superpowers. I felt, really I knew, that I was the smartest and most capable person in the room at any given time, and nothing could bring me down. As this continued, I got into big fights with my family, made some reckless decisions, and became quite unaware of myself.

The lack of stabilization in my mood was having a negative effect on my classes. I ended up having a pretty significant drop in my GPA with the onset of the symptoms. I started seeing a therapist, which helped, but I was still struggling. 

For years, I dreamed of pursuing a PhD in physics, and my bipolar II disorder was very close on several occasions to causing me to give up the dream entirely. I wasn’t able to get my life together in time to apply to PhD programs during my senior year of undergrad, or even during the first year after college. I didn’t think I would be able to manage the stress of a doctoral program while also managing my symptoms. 

Finally, I started taking medication (Lamictal) in conjunction with talk therapy. Since then, I’ve been doing a lot better at managing my symptoms, and my mood has been much more stable. 

This past December/January, I applied to programs, and was accepted to a great one that I’m super excited about! (Leaving out the name of the university because PhD programs are small.) 

I know it’s going to be hard, but I feel like this is what I’ve spent the last several years really working towards, and I feel proud of myself for overcoming the challenges associated with my bipolar II disorder! 

TL;DR Bipolar II disorder almost stopped me from pursuing my dream of getting a PhD in physics, but I’ve been learning how to better manage my symptoms, and am starting a doctoral program this fall — psychotherapy and medication help!",8.72720588235294,8.362085405228761,8.964610566448805,64.85449754901963,60.96078431372549,12.268736383442269,41.78295206971677,11.618504940865991,5.208887363834423,2007,104,321,53,24,665,227,459,0.095,0.774,0.132,0.9705,2,0,0,0,1,0,56.0,0,0,0,14,9,21,1,3,27,0,33,18,1,7,3,63,63,24,0,6,7,0,4,2,0,2,16,0,2,1,15,23,1,1,12,5,3,7,5,8,0,4,26,7,47,11,66,31,8,65,0,3,2,0,7,29,0,7,30,229,62,28,0.22186822000356773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07405632451186467,0.0,0.0,0.05914264512602435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0502926659292916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06085954688847736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04508293586926978,0.08167867256439391,0.0,0.08332316905444366,0.0,0.13081627377566732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08458604577195357,0.0,0.0759732594525437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0590479066971587,0.0,0.0,0.047695549067471935,0.0,0.12739651518825693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4238003364753768,0.15139434969007176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07567552617516518,0.0,0.0,0.06550312964884808,0.0,0.0,0.09769457788222548,0.06689750239617998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06971920401781599,0.0,0.07478882561860843,0.052834233567305114,0.07100942826217771,0.08101526339366387,0.0,0.188720994593602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07727799178585608,0.07094540449289494,0.08406188158877596,0.0,0.17744828358447304,0.0815368319391856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06625011525451556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09914239405802236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0406443237862459,0.06028407055325431,0.0,0.07830880324726418,0.0,0.0,0.10447472347420372,0.07226240353137947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06287480885480128,0.0,0.06997902477216934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1490059266220081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11806206430703928,0.0,0.05436622339573522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07096284697080231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050114549289694214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0705994403019287,0.0,0.0645755906169761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07523991426950807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07866138742427095,0.0,0.0,0.09475630866316663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05893341532252145,0.0,0.0771523137081783,0.1670986242173337,0.0,0.06117722810329156,0.0,0.07400948352621292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20938595742398208,0.0,0.05906141569790421,0.06183058884141236,0.08471643213320658,0.15462989086860868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.384343387346475,0.05560576320067229,0.05944309034002147,0.0,0.0,0.08457521519372821,0.08586870130523498,0.14739938676175734,0.09477613115480796,0.0,0.0,0.0862487622006949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06102150580755152,0.08724241637697899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053840902200114726,0.0,0.0,0.10507254518687983,0.0,0.0,0.19050114592929027
bipolarreddit,VashTheStampe53,2020/04/08,I have decided to quit alcohol I have had the worst couple of years including a divorce and moving far away from my son to seek stability next to my family. I have not forgiven myself for all this and I went on to drink almost every day trying to forget how shitty I must have been to lose a marriage and then my son. I have decided to quit alcohol altogether to try to get stable because I can t see myself not living close to my child. I feel like the worst parent to have left him but I have hope it will get better. I know I can be stable and I will be. I talk to my son via WhatsApp twice a week but it s not enough. I quit drinking a week ago. I raise my non alcoholic beverage to love stability and goals.,2.3539038031319883,3.757248322147653,4.695453020134226,83.51396252796422,75.84563758389261,8.18814317673378,23.154921700223714,8.841846274778883,1.5625431767337807,556,16,118,12,12,195,85,149,0.083,0.784,0.133,0.8849,1,0,5,0,1,0,8.0,0,0,0,6,1,7,0,0,6,0,16,6,0,1,2,21,24,9,0,2,5,4,1,1,0,3,3,0,0,1,3,6,5,0,4,2,0,2,3,3,0,1,3,2,24,4,18,16,4,14,0,1,1,1,10,5,0,2,8,84,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12497665027479865,0.452017334593955,0.1411783199355577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324621198193983,0.0,0.0,0.08594449138191157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12469172534291666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559996603678345,0.0,0.09092508344335733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2762275724097669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14567747069817347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11878780067795795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13291018904000176,0.0,0.07128736688179099,0.10072128719971726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14731999083445044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14003210609927574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07748288056261438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15318301041655796,0.0,0.0,0.06887922667179497,0.0,0.12449428474487655,0.0,0.0,0.15772861891563705,0.0,0.0,0.12724645673894427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498470863157896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14994149165070386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15654960609529694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4498717399313837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11234854846144916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11332017462785784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19144211468002126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2261828627673261,0.0,0.0,0.13069655123618176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09079113737202443
bipolarreddit,kokoelizabeth,2020/04/08,"URGENT: Anyone else struggling to get refills during the outbreak? My SO has been calling his psychiatrists office multiple times a day for over a week. No answer. No call back. Pharmacy has faxed a request for a medicine refill about a week ago. There’s nothing on their voicemail saying they’re closed so idk what’s going on, but he has been out of meds for a few days and was trying to taper off for about two weeks before that becuase he had been running out and has been unable to get in touch with his doctor. He’s feeling terrible. 

Has anyone else had problems like this? Has anyone had to find another way to get their refill? Is there another way to get refills? Please Help!! (:",2.2587881679389312,5.047457946564889,3.0962547709923705,87.44682490458015,84.0381679389313,5.10706106870229,22.691316793893126,6.6274283507984215,0.8400568702290077,545,19,97,6,16,172,84,131,0.099,0.767,0.133,0.7831,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,2,0,7,4,0,1,7,0,15,1,0,0,0,11,21,5,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,6,0,0,3,0,0,2,2,3,0,1,8,3,5,1,21,13,1,20,0,0,0,0,12,8,0,0,9,63,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288786576436587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3049062790132404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3049783004457465,0.2979366117638174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11179523729478956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12371540874643355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2969170364948766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18752787299949775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14881189616539914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2429078606293345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07351309328962596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328829959997107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3038391990995561,0.0,0.08262797138774168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09745124359234278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07102976638816405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16149450541383045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395047547895727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15959356331956998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13911772566872832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156192413250069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15199224615128032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08477754864219812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09870964977127304,0.0,0.14202401687004404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308061876007728,0.3498670792266897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,throwaway_polaroid,2020/04/08,"""manic depression,"" a poem by k.y. robinson manic depression  
    
    
one moment life    
is more pigmented    
than technicolor.    
glitter flows    
through my veins    
and the stars    
in my eyes dilate    
and burst    
into delusions.    
\     
    
minutes, hours,    
or days later,    
shades of blue and black    
surround me like smoke.    
the glitter morphs    
into shards of glass    
and taunts every    
breath that i take.",6.299086021505373,9.502293854838713,5.188387096774196,76.26924731182797,70.12903225806451,7.359139784946238,29.68817204301075,8.344100000000001,2.7083784946236564,297,12,42,5,6,88,52,62,0.057999999999999996,0.903,0.039,-0.29600000000000004,0,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,3,0,1,4,3,0,0,7,2,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,0,3,4,1,8,2,1,9,0,2,3,0,0,4,0,1,5,24,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3830985798538788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22802675248690404,0.0,0.6090676007405179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29790235431051765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3482003482236597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2497406191622727,0.17273898221455194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2395917051024644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26584454629651194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,RamenTheory,2020/04/09,"Seeking audio recordings about people's experiences with quarantine Hello,

I am an NYU student directing a **PSA** to help people recognize the **impact that the shelter-in-place can have on one's mental health** and to make them aware of the resources that are available to help with such.

I am seeking people with diagnosed mental health problems to **submit audio content** describing their experiences during quarantine. I would like to know how the isolation has affected your mental well-being, how coping with your mental health condition is different during quarantine, etc.

Even if you are only able to record on an iPhone, that would be totally fine.

The final PSA will be a compilation of people's audio with animation over each statement. **We fully intend to treat this issue with care and integrity and to tell your story as honestly as possible.**

Please PM me for my email if you are interested!

Thank you all for your time.",4.2094186386210914,7.55008509815951,4.956161262050833,73.35421267893662,81.45398773006136,8.012737364884607,26.166812737364893,8.704169506293173,2.9974530528775927,753,30,109,20,21,242,104,163,0.04,0.7909999999999999,0.16899999999999998,0.9663,1,4,0,0,0,0,31.0,1,7,2,0,5,8,0,0,9,0,14,4,0,5,2,25,18,9,0,5,2,0,0,1,0,3,4,3,0,0,4,11,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,3,15,7,24,13,4,5,0,0,0,0,15,3,0,2,3,80,19,1,0.13124143351289488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13380938824942654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13320729240511595,0.0,0.13711936470576114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14636889047306478,0.08668372906782852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2567586104645241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437685753827866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4185105200942917,0.0,0.0,0.17593673286601302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369819589925667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07212685959868502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06411793515353177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08760467597629025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5290419866656065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08893259190333343,0.09981502415204882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3639451406410801,0.0,0.0,0.14406368293434774,0.0,0.14795499689804786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12558032732908872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11471079759061065,0.12082947913599044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07652793529701972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180018101906292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18646029773375544,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,momsbiryani,2020/04/09,"How do you manage intrusive thoughts? I've noticed that even with everything else being managed by medication, the one symptom I still show is having intrusive thoughts. Does anyone out there have any tips or advice on how to work through them or have fewer?",7.738840579710146,9.112388826086958,6.807391304347828,73.56731884057974,62.91304347826088,9.611594202898553,37.072463768115945,9.725611199111238,3.8450376811594213,210,10,33,4,3,64,40,46,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,1,1,5,0,0,0,1,0,6,2,0,2,0,8,8,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,3,0,6,5,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,2,1,25,4,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28030611937163136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19506757153739973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20057191714969472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2510240270718699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23962604171812305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18946146229999145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25780193362235104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28897080432861155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3265801826218246,0.0,0.0,0.19437671970652812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290784693726279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2981465779187065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4554530984276353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20882993270480135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,foamyshrimp,2020/04/09,Can I drink alcohol when taking seroquel and latuda? Just wondering if its safeish,4.947142857142854,8.531718000000001,4.84,72.83000000000003,83.28571428571428,8.514285714285714,35.57142857142857,8.841846274778883,4.6632571428571445,68,4,9,2,2,21,14,14,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,3,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,7,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5451444945341211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4997063015502885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3835336350296896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5531844566426126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hemanora,2020/04/09,Paranoia Anyone get paranoia to the point they feel like it has taken them over? If so how do you deal with this? Any help would be appreciated.,2.4130952380952384,4.968523642857143,3.2214285714285715,88.59023809523809,80.42857142857143,5.161904761904762,20.047619047619047,6.42735559955562,0.08017619047619108,114,3,23,1,3,36,27,28,0.11199999999999999,0.6409999999999999,0.247,0.7059,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,1,0,5,7,3,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,1,3,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,1,16,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2999665910066252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3084309389042758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4547599844921687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2230359899567063,0.3151255682869217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304592064023017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29566344734669897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2155016685308408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4169868929148804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3133484038449131,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,chartuck59,2020/04/09,"Serious question So I’ve been to numerous psychiatrists/therapists for about 13 years now. I’ve been given different diagnoses by most of them. The most recent therapist I was hopeful to see, let me down. I came out more depressed. My first time seeing her, she doesn’t ask any questions as to why I’m there. She was just like ok let’s start therapy! She had me stare at google picture images of people because she said I have a hard time maintaining eye contact. Well to be honest, with her that day, I did. (I apologize for my grammar). The only reason I had a hard time handling eye contact with this therapist because it’s hard when you are trying to tell a stranger things about yourself that you’re not quite proud of. So after talking to google images of people for the entire 30 minute session, I felt humiliated and pissed. I figured out she is the owner. I know someone else who went to her same office and visited a different therapist. That therapist, asked questions, listened, and sat with them for over an hour. I honestly feel like the owner/therapist I saw, thought my session was a joke, she’s getting paid, and really doesn’t give a fuck about my well being. I know people get sick of their jobs, so maybe that’s why? She doesn’t care about anything about the money? Oh and to top it off she wanted to schedule with me once a week every week. I called to schedule with a different therapist and I never got a call back. There’s even more to the story, but I’m just going to leave it to that. I’ve been rambling a lot on Reddit lately lol. I guess Reddit is a way for me to release my thoughts without having to worry about anyone judging me that I know or have met in life.",3.884566874566872,5.4967680930930936,4.819414414414414,83.32167879417881,72.27327327327328,7.645599445599446,27.822707322707323,8.263242389622931,1.9301098175098181,1337,50,255,21,26,435,180,333,0.061,0.8490000000000001,0.09,0.848,4,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,1,3,4,19,15,2,0,19,2,22,7,3,1,1,40,55,13,0,2,6,0,5,2,0,0,3,2,0,0,12,14,0,0,12,1,2,4,6,4,2,1,21,13,41,11,48,30,6,33,0,1,6,1,34,9,2,9,21,172,53,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05179581182316212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05325736715651192,0.0,0.06267851544617624,0.0,0.14241073646440844,0.0,0.0,0.05856731436553935,0.0,0.09286074697266597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15554896467570925,0.08711415131242373,0.07765679293928797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04912107239998858,0.0,0.0656020694637147,0.07730736430111143,0.0,0.23873325150563876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06362731266371176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05030723544507757,0.0,0.06417353645842236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03851205604871872,0.05441334176877025,0.07313175621091783,0.0,0.0,0.06478716092715649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07041467467917534,0.07958767439848162,0.07306581890088057,0.0432871604618724,0.0,0.06091728442610012,0.0,0.0839059543777886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20469059093885408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07565049116848438,0.07500863090955932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07558346932648566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12557730084174826,0.0,0.08591909634108029,0.08064929472609196,0.0,0.15577075311598546,0.05379863064879862,0.07442218037244258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0647540095098404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07651945712156305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05874427759032685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08111480531477071,0.0,0.05792803303425088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584127212472264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2559716355435941,0.08101241692982926,0.0,0.0,0.0487941913784722,0.07831181721742586,0.07520520086154503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07245175542474981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12138963141994558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06453560331451233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0539110198711332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061219723881166435,0.06657285242041155,0.0,0.08710299703015749,0.6190459997469338,0.050601618602437684,0.0,0.0,0.12093533945446686,0.13323984444994333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05171203379462641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044924957726570965,0.060457399053063826,0.12219229674451505,0.0,0.13696560847215627,0.07060708126488194,0.1374567854418501,0.0,0.0,0.07342175958861158,0.0,0.0,0.07735074803645071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04904870980851805
bipolarreddit,fight_to_write,2020/04/09,"Yo BP peeps. Watched a very captivating Documentary on Netflix yesterday that you might like. It’s called God Knows Where I Am. It’s about a the story of women that suffers from mental illness and eventually holds up in a in abandoned barn surviving on apples and creek water. They did a good job, especially with finding a great voice over actor to read the journal she kept while struggling with the Connecticut winter and illness during the the winter. Highly recommend.",7.157499999999999,9.035135940476193,7.00809523809524,69.75357142857145,64.59523809523809,9.40952380952381,34.23809523809524,9.725611199111238,3.6756809523809526,385,17,58,8,6,122,66,84,0.149,0.6759999999999999,0.175,0.3729,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,1,1,2,6,0,1,10,0,3,3,0,0,0,11,5,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,1,0,1,4,5,1,3,2,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,2,4,3,12,2,0,12,0,2,1,0,5,8,0,1,5,38,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3030387755371269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2712454689217681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2489194088980176,0.0,0.3271936703282279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31355734233665844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2945017608223662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16309887398555606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14498847009291654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29907773884908995,0.3148296297370053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2968536649403168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3102519458536786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24486909755114875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Astinus,2020/04/09,"Prescribed Risperidal now I'm in trouble. I was prescribed resperidal and on it I was not functioning well.  I went of it and voluntariliy commited myself.  While commited I was talked into taking it again.  Now I understand it that you can't go off it without damage.  I believe It was not necessary to put me on this drug and now I'm trapped on it and ever since I cannot make appropriate decisions for my life and have lost a lot.  The prescribing nurse practitioner haphazardly prescribed the medicine did not warn me so I could way the cost benefit of taking the med.

TLDR
Prescriber didn't warn me of dangers of taking drug.",4.468235294117648,6.615768302521013,5.511504201680676,76.74305462184877,71.85714285714286,9.129747899159666,32.068067226890754,9.642632912329526,3.39871361344538,504,24,89,13,10,166,72,119,0.114,0.816,0.07,-0.7347,0,1,2,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,1,7,6,1,0,5,0,10,3,0,1,3,18,20,7,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,9,6,0,0,2,0,1,3,7,4,1,0,8,0,14,2,13,11,1,16,0,2,0,0,2,6,0,1,6,68,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287436043656717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16210174386586948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.470897226336478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18365091000277173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153857804652921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14340504018144834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2216296010394417,0.17260757799373316,0.0,0.0,0.13552310630765665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255189040111864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20409972840743254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679472806933701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4579565147017465,0.16318662496053504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21135983806633146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16115458025443408,0.0,0.0,0.1825470123454221,0.18820946190962748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957122375982372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,LittleWanderer123,2020/04/09,"Derealisation? World not real I suffer from bipolar 2, and have been mostly stable and well since starting lamotrigine about 7 years ago. With the stress of the Coronavirus lockdown, the threat of losing my job and lack of sleep from having a baby I started to teeter towards not being ok again, and self-harmed for the first time in years. 

I'm under a perinatal mental health team and they acted quickly to stop a relapse, adding quetiapine to help me sleep and sort out jumbled thoughts.

Problem is I still feel like nothing is real. Not like when you're depressed and everything feels far away,  but actually that the world isn't real at all. My husband is concerned by this thinking, but it feels rational to me.

Is this the start of psychosis/delusion? Or an anxious reaction to events? I fully believe it and am only questioning because of my husband's concern. The quetiapine is not making it go away. Has anyone else had this?",6.219689922480622,7.705481976744188,6.396511627906978,74.732015503876,66.44186046511628,8.291472868217053,33.519379844961236,8.59863814320734,2.9090333333333325,748,33,123,11,12,239,118,172,0.114,0.825,0.061,-0.8036,1,1,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,1,3,6,10,1,1,11,1,13,4,2,1,1,33,24,12,0,2,7,2,3,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,7,10,0,1,6,1,0,2,5,6,1,1,3,3,10,4,23,20,3,26,0,3,0,0,6,10,0,4,16,88,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.13258221326015746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12043391936871392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.153485966776884,0.0,0.09499822731613128,0.13920719898154885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552946045947148,0.0,0.0,0.0828205262544267,0.0,0.0,0.15307052606969804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11701818246117696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11349569523740105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12210446527524538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2060885047608156,0.0970602056836362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11556458325920538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07721379649395596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.144415496985285,0.0,0.0,0.09106577790119144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13482257918079169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13275112131634845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1519953985873065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09068928171626653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369174568416748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13036374444815832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10332956253717576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300020753030467,0.0,0.0,0.15219710698046265,0.0,0.0,0.4639238480646055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14173423047662406,0.0,0.0,0.1123868738494332,0.0,0.27192126046242604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2884925557159937,0.0,0.1084999775439672,0.11358714351070938,0.1556300484071211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08705521176971766,0.0,0.10785965849838484,0.07922252329537735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221567146747245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17498200653664206
bipolarreddit,sharkcircling,2020/04/09,"how frequently do you have episodes off medication? hi everyone, i hope you all are well in these times.

since january 2020 i have been unable to access my medications (still working on it). however i have been lucky to have not had any episodes (at least that ive recognized) in the past 2 ish months since then.

before january i had been on medications and had not had any episodes while on them, for a little over a year.

my question is to you all: during the times you have been unmedicated, how often did you have episodes?

i havent really had an episode in nearly 2 years, which i am really happy about, but it makes me 1) have doubts about my diagnosis and 2) raises the question on whether i can scale back my meds when i do get the chance to see my psychiatrist again.

i guess in the end im looking for reassurance that it is normal ish to not have an episode for a while, even when unmedicated.

thanks for reading and stay safe!",5.163688524590164,5.9391021584699475,5.832909836065575,80.40543032786887,68.39890710382514,9.597267759562843,29.457650273224047,9.725611199111238,2.4932699453551908,737,26,152,16,12,240,101,183,0.015,0.8640000000000001,0.121,0.9531,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,5,1,1,12,8,0,1,10,0,27,3,0,3,2,22,34,12,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,7,3,0,1,2,1,0,0,4,1,1,0,10,2,22,7,23,24,3,30,0,0,2,0,10,13,0,7,16,112,29,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20713032116949287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11710470603285375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12959099979172967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13488730445158906,0.0,0.0,0.10058876835895557,0.0,0.0,0.1455234689908744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07956734328044035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16776904026178807,0.0,0.0,0.16211982338701714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512623316519864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16450368269215287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15263862389468227,0.0,0.0,0.12788862625164685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016574454479819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16916433150492666,0.460260629463849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12155963919387132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14921581114590296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14538188097529342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34120832820383684,0.0,0.1523352396912795,0.0,0.19512690651387946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12135862175740625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25195838540573057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16232516916620654,0.12162220650055865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14021187849720948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17760774344531538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13693061983887242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108718652978564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.196144720161418
bipolarreddit,Pizzagay121,2020/04/09,"My friend who has Bipolar lost his friend out of anger. What do I do? My friends were playing LOL and they had a really bad fight which led to him saying REALLY bad things to him which made him unfriend him and not want to talk to him. I feel somewhat responsible because of the bipolar friend never could get under my skin when he has his outbursts. However, he was a new friend so while he dealt with his outbursts he was getting tired of it and when the bipolar person gets angry during a game...He will intentionally throw the match and all that fun stuff. So, I do understand the other friend's side. What should I do?",5.1894262295082,5.971232491803278,5.252581967213113,84.56608606557378,68.34426229508196,8.067213114754097,27.54508196721311,8.07648339933343,1.5675868852459018,492,15,99,6,8,154,76,122,0.163,0.654,0.183,0.4613,1,0,0,0,1,0,12.0,0,0,1,1,4,13,2,0,7,1,13,5,1,3,2,18,21,9,0,3,1,0,2,0,6,2,4,1,0,1,10,6,0,0,2,1,0,2,2,5,0,0,6,3,16,8,10,12,2,10,0,1,0,0,24,3,0,1,5,69,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26469878093377824,0.09662634262396844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12655749129321714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08014751645304657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7347874930553918,0.0,0.2484451012655388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17303260060593356,0.0,0.0,0.14998617755805735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12225283295020795,0.1530901324709935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384049868046475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20309137748304207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12605366788030994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1814562481471749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274044891503526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10530712913273793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18218414945730302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650147014331261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09349341889168128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,eechibby,2020/04/09,"Mindless Sex I reach complete and total euphoria during my hypomanic episodes. I lose all control and my impulses take the wheel and steer me into a stranger's bed. Sexual situations that I would never find myself in if I wasn't hypomanic ... I find it so hard to control my urges. I'm impulsive, reckless... having unprotected sex with strangers,, the true life of the freaking party.  I spend, I steal, I fuck...I act solely on my impulses and my impulses alone.. Then, when the parties over,, I have so much regret and shame about what I did when I was euphoric. Has anyone else,,, experienced these symptoms? If so,, how do you manage them?",3.8114329738058537,6.256024118644067,5.093636363636367,77.65020801232669,74.76271186440678,8.019722650231127,29.371340523882896,8.841846274778883,2.729616949152542,498,22,87,11,11,165,84,118,0.174,0.688,0.138,-0.5725,0,1,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,1,1,3,7,6,0,1,5,0,8,4,0,3,4,20,10,14,0,4,2,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,4,7,0,2,2,0,1,1,2,5,0,0,3,2,20,1,8,6,3,9,0,2,0,2,2,4,0,2,4,63,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274286843631889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15354221041977542,0.22499557772635465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23023560228538595,0.0,0.4925769978606996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18343900104460825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4014019798099177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2030071213332221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19670922204696864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15510268547632478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24566468377423045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614236815848839,0.0,0.1693610989860733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2468280014893737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22823775757482545,0.16510411157038202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15599020879286188,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,dcardona91,2020/04/09,"Starting treatment with wellbutrin xl amd seoquel xe I just started two days ago my new treatment with seroquel XR at night and wellbutrin xl at breakfast.

I was diagnosed bipolar disorder 5 years ago, and didnt take the medication until november 2018 when i started taking lithium, but it made feel dizzy and took away my appetite and sleep.

Now im taking welbutrin XL 150mg in the morning and  Seroquel XR 50mg (it will be incresed in the next days until 300mg)

i want to share my process here hiping it could help someone.

Day 1: it knock me out, i took the seroquel at 8pm and like 30 minutes after i thought i was about to pass out.

Day 3: there was no urge to sleep in days 2 and 3, i felt a little bit dizzy and sleepy but not even close to day 1, i also havent noticed any change with the wellbutrin yet.

Thats it so far, if anyone has any advice or want to share sometging related i'll be more than glad to read each comment.",4.677862129144849,4.997745612565447,5.197604712041886,86.1476461605585,69.31413612565444,7.413787085514834,32.147033158813265,6.816661863887847,1.795586038394415,736,31,152,5,12,236,121,191,0.05,0.845,0.105,0.8851,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,10,4,0,0,6,0,10,6,2,1,0,28,24,17,0,4,6,0,2,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,6,15,1,0,3,1,0,3,4,0,0,1,9,2,13,4,23,11,3,36,0,0,0,0,4,12,0,2,22,84,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12360816226894313,0.2242580341673228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10115695195931312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1720400831066826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08844732372311387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11884497835002678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13809833939260668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1338135433103514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10099491235697468,0.0,0.0,0.4894677627702153,0.0,0.0,0.12838842476810355,0.0,0.0,0.14497271870688214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08354788410680246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06395900643329559,0.0,0.12145377177617382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08478604881036722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13663488320744066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06179842368321571,0.12677990065318595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11969138059269906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12742907701234088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12216838650668076,0.1345274660657289,0.11870575183339628,0.0,0.0,0.14401389558613056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126527913192963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531700688612049,0.0,0.10717768644571833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2685986379746701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2853225200580133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10042185419023307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28107827047430417,0.0,0.0,0.12356594726446513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14921850220691502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08145778408245291
bipolarreddit,jsharp231,2020/04/09,"Struggling During Quarantine Today is the first day that I have really felt the sadness that has started to creep in. We have been in quarantine for 3 weeks and I am officially feeling the horrible dread starting to set in. It seems like no matter what I try to do nothing is fulfilling me anymore. Even my favorite things like drawing have faded into dullness. I am currently on Vraylar, venleflaxine and seroquel but it's like they aren't working today. I just need a little help. Thanks.",4.866666666666667,7.375228277777778,5.579722222222222,75.09625000000003,71.7777777777778,8.055555555555555,33.47222222222222,8.841846274778883,3.3555555555555565,395,20,62,8,8,128,69,90,0.12,0.6970000000000001,0.183,0.7237,1,2,0,0,0,0,8.0,1,0,1,2,2,8,0,2,4,0,11,0,0,0,0,11,18,3,0,1,2,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,2,2,9,4,9,16,0,16,0,2,0,0,3,6,0,1,12,46,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2236528502840778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14544018854742044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489522408804995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11402846923748708,0.0,0.21653225168842907,0.0,0.0,0.19182514632355416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15115968645673158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33052950851742896,0.2260278701583731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16721843500457226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21639020925610827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14447234246672436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2053027435260665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3192450209960467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23575994954144605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20762629706027472,0.0,0.0,0.14982386561953207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42752861131117337,0.0,0.0,0.1531116398277736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18089660719183265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16417949097242598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,djekendbdbeejjsn,2020/04/09,"How can I control my hypomania currently without medication or other medical access I currently am not taking any medication and am not in close contact with a psychiatrist. This is because I have been stable for a while or only mildly depressed and I have not wanted to continue with medication. It was working for a while, but I have recently realized that I am most likely hypomanic and have been for the past 2 months.

When I first realized it I thought I was doing a good job of ‘suppressing’ it. But thats not working out anymore. People are telling me my driving is scaring them (even though it seems normal to me), that my mood is very good, and that I am acting hyper and ‘weird’. I have also been having anger attacks over small things which I have mostly been able to manage by just walking away from whatever is doing it to me. But I have slipped up a few times and snapped at people who (mostly) don’t deserve it. 

Ok, so I can tell that I am not managing it very well. Luckily, quarantine has taken away most opportunities for me to do stupid things. What are some ways I can manage myself and cool off the hypomania? I know I need to go back to the doctor but my old one hasn’t responded and It’s pretty much impossible to find a new one at the moment. I try to sleep more but I don’t feel tired when I should.",4.641954022988505,5.655569766283528,6.0695977011494255,77.37267241379313,69.727969348659,9.171647509578543,29.44252873563219,9.444778638647367,2.6127333333333334,1043,39,200,22,18,354,144,261,0.087,0.7959999999999999,0.11599999999999999,0.778,3,1,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,1,5,10,14,3,1,10,2,36,7,1,2,0,45,45,23,0,4,14,0,1,1,0,1,6,0,0,0,20,12,0,2,7,0,0,4,9,6,1,3,8,2,31,7,28,36,8,32,0,1,0,0,6,11,0,8,17,168,51,7,0.12258436552923375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09803067282521682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08336157215688822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12157075120337582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394574126430997,0.2303440932905421,0.09425981041067126,0.0,0.07472629143967581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13748878950120713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10558173440569864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12547029246349456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08096581731137302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06198233845964641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11203988929069067,0.10427019869691408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06966751988807575,0.2056358996601834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12164606770986458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06736916143675169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059888529022109414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.493963406965469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09784567104236884,0.0,0.09011361340186017,0.0908947537790712,0.0,0.11839274409966492,0.0,0.0,0.12010665109343588,0.0,0.0,0.12863167071310894,0.0,0.16613267718184851,0.09323093384805073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11702064760773463,0.16996912849382695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12471236961814462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12103727227206967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12272833491023255,0.0,0.0,0.11159620243102604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12267289449198088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09216818706546097,0.0,0.21428827719434734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16287921095952912,0.0,0.12043851673765316,0.097318293423708,0.07147992933745037,0.14089269528720527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08322673754526394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20228987926987124,0.07230343484053663,0.09730176352455686,0.0,0.0,0.11021806640124898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11816695393689627,0.0,0.17848575615605855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,misterweasley,2020/04/09,Diagnosed... Does anyone have auditory hallucination when grieving? So my psychiatrist confirmed that I definitely have bipolar. They do not know which kind as I got hospitalized many years ago for really bad suicide ideation. She said I have alot of Bipolar II symptoms but my episodes of mania last for a week so she still needs to find out more. I am scared if I do have bipolar 1. My grandmother passed away three months ago and the first few months I heard voices (mostly whispers and chattering)here and there have not told her about it. It has since stopped though sometimes its just ringing in my ears. I take abilify and lexapro but she is tapering me off of that. A psychiatrist gave me the lexapro months ago which led me to this diagnosis.,4.6840780542986415,7.4412218308823554,4.454705882352943,81.75771493212672,73.33823529411767,8.008144796380092,30.314479638009054,8.841846274778883,2.677919230769231,603,27,109,13,13,184,95,136,0.11599999999999999,0.871,0.013000000000000001,-0.92,0,0,0,0,0,1,14.0,0,0,1,1,8,4,0,1,5,0,10,6,1,1,0,18,18,12,2,2,6,0,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,0,8,5,0,1,2,0,0,2,2,3,0,2,5,6,19,1,13,13,4,19,0,1,0,0,9,4,0,3,13,76,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4588225022193089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206396686029442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16210121685710793,0.0,0.1440585449558463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17511821007683456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15098552114215044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576927989001951,0.14675719137614382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13799106861138605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1796674382745653,0.09482008322015696,0.14063810279564146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1749222277950361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41314458157593736,0.0,0.0,0.12793165201705334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11052959227872317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16411918633635747,0.0,0.1727364669750986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14272177070628592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17064037387061884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377857429988952,0.14424601108698976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18872401142626985,0.0,0.0,0.1793287159356914,0.12972397134559596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16951361626636824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648634725155411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13839623485112956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11110613259029804
bipolarreddit,HotRocksStayHot,2020/04/09,"Bipolar getting worse over time? Medications no longer working? Hi everyone, this is my first post.

Does anyone else feel like their illness is getting worse? I used to go months or even years between episodes, and the time between episodes it always seemed like I went back to my normal self. I also seemed to respond much better to medication, and didn't get so many mixed episodes.

Now it seems like I'm never back to normal, like there's no time between episodes. It seems like I'm chronically depressed, and then have a manic/mixed episode every couple months, then back to depression. It's like I never get a break anymore, it never seems to end. And medications don't seem to help that much anymore, just keep me from becoming too suicidal or psychotic, but I'm barely able to function even with a mood stabilizer, antidepressant, and antipsychotic as well as sleeping meds.

I can't tell if this is typical for bipolar disorder, like it tends to become more chronic/severe and treatment resistant over time, or if my meds aren't working anymore (have only been on my current meds for about a year, so that doesn't seem like much time), or if it's another mental health problem that's making me feel so depressed/anxious all the time (also diagnosed with PTSD but have been dealing with this for 7 years now). I know this would be a good thing to discuss with a psychiatrist, but I have only been seeing a primary care doctor for the past few months and she doesn't seem to know a whole lot about mental illness/psych meds, so that's why I'm looking for advice here.

I'm worried that if things are already this difficult to manage and I'm only 30, what will it be like in 10, 20, 30+ years? I feel so guilty for constantly putting my boyfriend through this with no hope that it'll get easier, we've been together for over 7 years now and I know it's hard for him too. I'm worried I won't be able to work like this, if things keep getting worse. I'm trying to hold on to some hope that maybe I'll find the right medication and I'll be fine, but I'm having a hard time being optimistic right now. Feels like I'm at a very low point and the only thing keeping me going is my boyfriend and his family, because I can't stand the thought of hurting them.

Thanks in advance for any advice or thoughts shared, I appreciate anyone taking the time to read this.",6.9558441558441535,6.49936521645022,6.814169696969696,79.12325454545456,64.58441558441558,9.72966233766234,33.84796536796537,9.065960079200117,2.7484057835497846,1878,71,366,27,25,595,209,462,0.11599999999999999,0.745,0.139,0.9225,1,0,0,0,0,0,52.0,0,0,2,6,24,27,0,0,17,0,30,12,1,2,4,68,79,37,1,11,15,0,6,11,0,4,11,0,0,1,30,17,0,4,18,1,0,5,14,6,1,1,8,8,26,20,49,62,9,53,0,4,2,0,13,12,0,22,44,217,56,6,0.10977390759771118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072697920290206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0605691183676044,0.08778615424566917,0.04567034246284271,0.0,0.0,0.037325010737066136,0.05755375673976215,0.0,0.0,0.1632993288120557,0.0767564685628022,0.05623817040704199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12661403850556124,0.0,0.033458577593495666,0.12123665644376608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04854305029409825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055960907421647416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059313298108997624,0.0,0.0,0.0607313704118877,0.0,0.0,0.056586039288566425,0.09454810576062612,0.05570910274453749,0.0,0.0,0.06290520423616165,0.05617912297250008,0.04803194314603308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045851006958861865,0.0,0.04861354975479081,0.0,0.0,0.07250463066590856,0.0,0.04624462583044208,0.052446836483537485,0.0,0.0,0.051742535227766985,0.0,0.11100997203655087,0.07842250152166873,0.0,0.0,0.05016568141114621,0.046686814862293216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17205700790655715,0.0,0.062387041428472574,0.046036572752595206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09833585941470067,0.0,0.0,0.05834226525851295,0.0,0.0,0.03678956816404196,0.0,0.0,0.10903025923286412,0.0,0.0,0.058757619240654535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1463581393188435,0.0,0.0,0.09049330317000694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29496492496895466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04609121755848861,0.0,0.0,0.04666292534374495,0.0,0.0,0.03663746786491723,0.05564675630399296,0.055141322398959365,0.0,0.2438681291700703,0.22117132620777266,0.11062627975987817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13143072861048785,0.0,0.12104467924801475,0.0,0.1269966073291455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10755512223830144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16697600665956988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052395807989283616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05188591237122138,0.0,0.05256652958392416,0.0,0.0,0.05251940214048045,0.0641599117944246,0.055176548446212656,0.0,0.0,0.054901806988053865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937463172940044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04373779593982394,0.399736170629279,0.05725906321203865,0.06200663484244145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05492659250047291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0600374189428637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04126815849105825,0.0,0.047973616860616713,0.050532532763178636,0.0,0.0,0.1458578129133073,0.0,0.0,0.08714822076811579,0.2560401931944232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03726463875515182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04740470536440095,0.0,0.04528748511087105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04934996312333048,0.05088075606039857,0.0495269386839242,0.06127932379030007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11987506819809485,0.11148073171775467,0.16780348513404408,0.03899011719506991,0.0,0.0,0.1767269935349776
bipolarreddit,grey_rain,2020/04/10,"Why are there rollercoasters in my Quarantine Funhouse? My roommate’s mother moved in with us for the quarantine.  I understand this.  She and my roommate want to be together during a very difficult time.  The problem is they fight all the bloody time, and I find myself in the middle.  

*I* think ___  
Well, *I* think___  
[Eyes turn to me]: What do *YOU* think?

My mood is all over the place, and my therapist is out on maternity leave.  I did meet with her stand-in via videoconferencing, but I’m not too comfortable spilling my guts to someone I’ve literally never met in person.  I have a teleconference with my psychiatrist on Monday.  He might, whether he realizes it or not, play therapist for a minute.

But back to the happy family in my house.  My mother and I had a stormy relationship.  She had a severe mental illness herself, and that made things difficult sometimes.  However, we always respected each other.  My roommate and her mother are *terrible* to each other.  They deal low blows, and that makes me feel physically ill.  I hate seeing people hurt each other purposely.  

We live in a volatile world.  The virus, the people in my house, the absolute lack of normalcy.  It’s all getting to me.  I am *so* depressed, with that just-below-the-surface sense of panic that sparks at very least hypomania for me.  There’s also the claustrophobia of being quarantined digging at my PTSD.  It’s a veritable rollercoaster of emotions here at the Funhouse, and I’d like my ticket off the ride.

Best to us all.  We need it.",1.965886195633488,4.803232541516248,3.468063434760186,81.94516546329726,91.8158844765343,6.970225201994152,23.562747120508853,7.957251820313856,2.0686263365996207,1182,47,208,30,42,387,158,277,0.17600000000000002,0.755,0.069,-0.9843,1,3,0,0,1,0,55.0,5,1,2,1,8,18,2,1,19,0,14,4,2,2,5,44,29,14,0,4,6,3,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,14,19,0,0,7,2,0,2,3,10,1,0,5,3,40,7,33,21,10,26,0,3,2,0,24,19,0,2,6,153,54,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10268192052664704,0.1068395925414564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987321425274932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13474851732518076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323753896972415,0.11059125627589024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444334027337337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210446666848244,0.0,0.064923205853301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11735583033764195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06708401859695079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13668483574595536,0.0,0.12676901840287774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29631412648962163,0.13745550744413715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13595770521319156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06273005173054551,0.0,0.11338009004391532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12149576071338596,0.08570840347043929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293976135994456,0.13621275503531013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364695268872716,0.0,0.09520742452183713,0.09903046521005288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506504490569227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1780336300976316,0.11211445902638413,0.13415130759678148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12286204181138001,0.15009344059964452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378542013441979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10231866118967774,0.0,0.0,0.14505614024732158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10879341922318507,0.0,0.1269914853714183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.298166006757474,0.08530365911600259,0.2468217767312579,0.0,0.0,0.14974285520950553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13966299129186166,0.0,0.13366956212847958,0.3089002458507883,0.0,0.0,0.2118878990412356,0.07573400585892759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154475676709069,0.0,0.11586157807161745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,HouseOfKrazees13,2020/04/10,Any good Seroquel XR stories? Just got prescribed it. Any heads up? Thanks. UwU,0.8285714285714256,-0.3283495714285678,-0.16942857142856838,101.26442857142858,151.85714285714286,1.12,24.228571428571428,3.1291,-0.19684000000000035,62,3,11,0,5,17,13,14,0.0,0.6609999999999999,0.33899999999999997,0.7319,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6026118266527065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3716299426502487,0.3543672234356106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4547223540249946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40792355142669146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,secretblack92,2020/04/10,"Explosive anger I feel like im constantly seeing red. It can be over the tiniest thing. For example i was supposed to have a pavkage delivered today and it came damaged and missing and all i want to do is call the post office and scream in someones ear.

When i get angry I get the urge to fight someone anyone really. Ive had anger issues my entire life. Im just so frickin angry. Ive honestly thought of doing boxing to relieve all the anger.

Sometimes when I get angry and others try to calm me down it makes the anger worse.

Help",2.495887850467291,4.623722373831775,4.022252336448599,85.28291121495327,77.5981308411215,6.522990654205607,25.65327102803738,7.554174236665415,1.4936661682242989,422,16,80,6,10,140,73,107,0.292,0.596,0.111,-0.9767,0,0,0,0,1,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,4,12,5,0,6,0,10,2,1,1,2,13,20,8,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,5,6,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,8,0,0,4,5,10,4,10,15,2,10,0,2,2,0,3,4,0,0,5,50,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419935216223235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20736046915445136,0.23226167173527906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2194500147082796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10267992496142823,0.14507555355263252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31829213784715177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13611570309029142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4387078642156642,0.211955688334378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434366254312205,0.09921132081914018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355529555455719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19448801631561008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13009390885173944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16182306950228545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34412657154901943,0.0,0.200844613529117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349128281920948,0.0,0.0,0.1612174583026792,0.0,0.0,0.19248967394654434,0.0,0.0,0.13787339068363594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11977785040674585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20694896678479371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lollo67,2020/04/10,"Is there something else like Lamotrigine? Always been a little up-and-down person, very sensitive overall. I can see some resemblance from bipolar light diagnosis.

My real problems started 15 years ago, together with heavy weightlifting at that time, developed a severe posture of upper/lower crossed syndrome, from my body constantly being in fight/flight mode. Affected the stressystem heavily and I’ve not been able to come back to and stability since then. The extreme tight muscles affected the anxiety/depressions and it was shooting it through the roof. I continued a few years more but at last I had to go to psychiatric emergency. I’ve tried a lot of meds during the years. Mostly SSRI, SNRI plus a few others.

All the meds that has lifted my mood has at the same time triggered muscle tensions as if my brain see it as a threat and the fight/flight mode is on. SSRI has this effect almost immediately, at the same time it makes me more creative but make the system go overdrive (is it making perhaps light bipolar or any adhd symptoms worse?) it has really destroyed everything I cared for in life, all activity, social contacts, relationships, career etc..

Lamictal was the only medicine that has really worked to lower the tensions and also raising my mood and stable the anxiety. After some research I think it’s worked better than others because of the glutamate antagonism. After that I’ve tried Valproate/Depakote, Cymbalta, Amitriptyline with not the same success. Also I’m really sensitive to norepinephrine in the last two ones. Lyrica helps relaxing the nerves a little for a few hours but makes me feel really slow and dumb.

Are there any other medications that work on minimizing glutamate and have uplifting effect same as Lamictal?

How about newer atypical antipsychotics? Is it worth trying (don’t like the idea of playing with dopamine receptors. Rexulti, Vraylar? I tried Abilify for a few days and it really made me creative but same there, it triggered and activated the tensions. I don’t know if it would continue because I dropped it after a few days. 

I know there’s Gabapentin, Topimax, maybe Trileptal?

Anyone have an idea how to get around the tensiontriggering effect?",7.2967522321428575,9.343285825520836,7.243467261904764,67.55718750000004,64.44270833333334,10.38154761904762,35.589285714285715,10.530516587383797,4.400997321428571,1783,84,261,47,28,569,210,384,0.122,0.7879999999999999,0.08900000000000001,-0.9111,2,0,1,1,2,0,52.0,0,0,0,8,11,16,3,3,31,0,22,7,2,14,2,61,40,26,0,4,9,0,3,2,0,1,5,0,0,1,21,16,0,1,9,3,1,4,4,7,0,2,6,7,17,7,39,32,19,41,0,0,2,0,5,12,1,8,25,180,38,6,0.09820498446220413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180233072028173,0.0,0.08705279337604561,0.0,0.09833810625828254,0.0,0.0,0.15706898118788198,0.08171441410983397,0.0,0.0,0.13356551405341827,0.0,0.07512654431472326,0.0,0.0,0.06866720851559463,0.0,0.0,0.0874232568371403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0755135712195103,0.0,0.11972969404489718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08685432821340705,0.0,0.10908359900851744,0.0,0.10962924099816083,0.0,0.0,0.10012652667833637,0.0,0.0,0.08459489845059666,0.0,0.1061247002437516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12666818136492164,0.0,0.08458380921612302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08203766312980057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10952451699062764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08826030774067617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0496553908737166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05130805112024358,0.0,0.11162431160925128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06582473101278706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09671212780758362,0.0,0.0,0.22172294781207225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10794178235641556,0.1601003391627397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06936508479208242,0.09595598976572486,0.1968543876124916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08349036594628816,0.0,0.09292393079532407,0.26221035881089244,0.0,0.09866010653934487,0.0,0.21816719801703485,0.09893119015730596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06654623903656381,0.07468931596958954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08574880448956343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09396890725747788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11177877212522082,0.3145631386441621,0.0,0.0,0.10543540112294277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15651331594835285,0.0,0.0,0.11094367950480964,0.0,0.08123617796944316,0.0,0.0,0.10010761441390416,0.0,0.07560299490044965,0.0,0.0,0.06950999346062914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10207258087319906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0629257886999053,0.0,0.0,0.17179234855042874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2666989524214141,0.0,0.09593200007722376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08102939703930379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21448319491261367,0.0,0.10007926905352686,0.06976200332329603,0.0,0.0,0.18972237065030625
bipolarreddit,birdcafe,2020/04/10,"I’m so ashamed of the things I did while hypomanic TW: Sexual harassment, brief mention of assault

My first hypomanic episode happened when I was 16. It was 5 months after my mom died by suicide. Obviously that was very traumatic and definitely influenced my spiral downward.

Here’s what happened: I was on a high school choir retreat. I did some very inappropriate things to other girls. I have no idea why. I thought it was playful and funny at the time. I slapped a girl on her butt and another girl I kissed during truth or dare when she didn’t want it. I was up all night playing candy crush and that pissed people off too.

I got kicked out of choir 3 weeks later. And I spiraled into horrible, horrible depressed, worst I’ve ever experienced. Almost tried to overdose on Tylenol until I read online it is a horrible way to die. So I told my dad and he took me to a psych ward. I went to the ward again 3 months later (still depressed).

My dad had to go through so much bc of this. He had to watch his daughter be suspended from school and kicked out of the choir she loved because she literally sexually harassed
people. I don’t know how he wasn’t disgusted with me.

At the second hospitalization, I was diagnosed with bipolar II. Suddenly my actions made sense. But it didn’t make the shame go away.

In the current climate of #MeToo, there is no tolerance for sexual harassment. I support that. I have been a victim of assault twice in college. Which only makes me feel more horrible that I victimized these girls, one of whom disclosed she was sexually abused as a child. I made them feel so uncomfortable and unsafe.

I can only discuss this in the context of being bipolar. No one else understands. How you can do these things when manic/hypomanic that you would never do when stable. How you cannot possibly defend yourself. I still feel like a monster because of it sometimes. It damaged my self-image and it has taken years to try and repair it.

Anyway, I hope someone can relate. :-/ At least I didn’t spend $6k on video games & paying for characters/weapons like my friend’s brother during a manic ep.",3.47230899830221,5.877095471464024,4.5917101998171646,81.03145193940188,75.67493796526054,7.418283923207523,28.223129162857514,8.371475516178862,2.253013895781637,1677,71,304,32,38,548,226,403,0.22399999999999998,0.6970000000000001,0.079,-0.9967,1,0,0,0,1,1,54.0,0,3,1,1,19,25,9,2,16,0,32,8,2,8,5,42,56,26,3,3,2,5,3,2,1,1,4,3,0,5,25,15,0,0,7,8,2,6,10,15,0,5,25,8,45,10,44,28,6,48,0,3,1,3,30,18,2,4,25,209,70,6,0.0,0.13244654505133335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11193619151612406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12111863434024545,0.0,0.0,0.11721596456514162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10502536947248002,0.0,0.0,0.1362857845520872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1925599307904469,0.11345907866250828,0.2320296608203008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09338174102635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10111562637664344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16956505125438687,0.07985898471439795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09508397620857904,0.0,0.0,0.08636455240077487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12705959874121825,0.0,0.08940440575216865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.197701614482838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1181066325790179,0.0,0.11102739183955156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12619127667877644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061433926695237014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092246785729694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10089002162499347,0.21154669964087056,0.14923425952640607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13092084484798516,0.17845090109683262,0.0,0.08217458851955889,0.0,0.08621522247392535,0.0,0.0,0.10490233258398468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15149635966977332,0.17003454499361215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15499481895950634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12602041020782787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118149123014235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2262640912481354,0.0,0.0,0.1166157815699741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09471478117497294,0.0,0.1105578888311598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17854275059829214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12227427660734068,0.1268519094847483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22279428657413228,0.0,0.0,0.08874453498891458,0.06518253523491357,0.0,0.0,0.1068150347614218,0.12419687233357475,0.15178889522737107,0.0,0.0,0.11637177521538272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184468106017928,0.06593348976115065,0.08872946137672948,0.08966691293658016,0.0,0.0,0.10362550139673024,0.10086827026851684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07940861647299864,0.0,0.0,0.07198565718504497
bipolarreddit,Unknown3Fortune1Rye,2020/04/10,Valproic Acid & SSRI can u post ur experiences with valproate added to an ssri bipolar 2 mostly with depression episodes?,11.94714285714286,11.349554190476189,10.58095238095238,56.60571428571429,54.714285714285715,12.20952380952381,49.57142857142857,11.20814326018867,6.160485714285715,102,6,13,2,1,32,19,21,0.171,0.8290000000000001,0.0,-0.5719,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5565636704512138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44242515797154935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5024700284506471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4919560253076774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Magic_Mushrooms_Oxy,2020/04/10,"When you feel the bipolar mania coming on Two hours ago I wanted to kill myself and was about to fall asleep, not I'm giggling happy as a clam biting my feet wide awake.",14.10257142857143,5.865274685714287,12.557142857142859,67.37285714285716,59.28571428571429,14.0,40.714285714285715,3.1291,3.1955714285714283,134,2,27,0,1,43,33,35,0.253,0.747,0.0,-0.8692,0,0,0,0,0,1,2.0,0,1,0,0,2,3,1,0,2,0,1,3,2,0,0,5,5,3,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,1,0,1,1,1,4,2,5,4,0,7,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,16,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3500502970777954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3401667905816539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1996706096698504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4203727176949108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38889170303621773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4368924422242517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38575471072177897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23291910687160297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,captainbollo,2020/04/10,"Lamotrigine Does anyone who takes Lamotrigine feel... dull? Like, in a fog, sort of? I don't feel like I feel anything anymore. I miss mania. I miss FEELING. When I was manic, sure I made some bad choices, but I also had the bravery to make good choices and good changes in my life. Now I don't feel anything, and I can't even figure out what I want in life.",1.4629158512720153,3.4316372876712364,3.1867318982387483,90.78972602739726,80.23287671232877,5.267318982387477,24.127201565557733,6.1826913282559595,0.5326297455968692,274,10,59,2,7,91,48,73,0.111,0.634,0.254,0.9113,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,4,9,0,0,2,0,5,2,0,2,1,16,16,5,0,1,1,0,5,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,6,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,3,5,11,5,6,13,1,6,0,3,0,0,1,4,0,2,4,34,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16444952027712767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20393873814138005,0.1437876455778557,0.0,0.338446928397172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17170006552941824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2175389093655265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17995616908421727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13582269132682967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.519886558542595,0.1469086197588724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3449606544185006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2904979667346388,0.20092976175626787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1945806960226851,0.13726570132445587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1938124255390301,0.0,0.154615017023822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12129127375382275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mrs_melon,2020/04/11,Asking about psychiatric service dog. I’m 19 and I’m in college. I’ve met with my new psychiatrist and I am super thankful for her. I’ve just started my 6th type of drug to help me control myself and it’s not working. I’ve wanted to reach out to her and ask about a psychiatric service dog but I’m scared. I don’t want her to think that I just want a dog or I’m faking it like some think. I can’t sleep like I need to and my outbursts are unpredictable even to me. I was hoping someone has experience in this or has any input. Thank you :),-0.11188423645320356,2.069498181034483,2.289704433497537,93.40431034482759,88.74137931034483,5.038423645320199,20.354679802955662,6.5431188927421005,0.2317507389162565,423,14,95,5,14,144,70,116,0.062,0.7070000000000001,0.231,0.9477,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,3,5,8,0,1,2,0,7,2,1,1,0,22,24,8,0,5,6,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,7,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,16,6,14,22,1,5,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,4,4,56,20,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13955807570311246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3837099495281659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301740525889694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2379924999241251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13554727159462876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20074660770339986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13755605792293882,0.0,0.0,0.20383186597237207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20052231863587688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15216959806182356,0.0,0.1982047976814096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2054631386040132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2053703241586136,0.0,0.1738840322391708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14525726941194775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3778819024333399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2629960898304107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3631359620022551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494041440501805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,niamhwd8,2020/04/11,"Depressed or bipolar? I've been living with fact that I'm depressed for about a year now, and it's been hard but I've learned to cope. However, the past few months the thought won't leave my head that maybe what was diagnosed as depression is actually bipolar disorder. 

Sometimes I really feel like I'm crazy, I have episodes where I get so overwhelmed that I can't contain myself, I feel the urge to scream or punch something and I often grab at my neck or arms. I don't know I just, I've felt suicidal before and those thoughts come into my head whenever I have one of these episodes, but at any other time it's not something I would ever want to do, I've never planned anything and Everytime I come out of this episode I can't believe I'd ever think that. I feel like somebody else takes over me when this happens, which I put down to just having a depressive episode but now I'm not so sure. 

 Then other times I just talk and talk to people for the sake of hearing myself talk idk like I just feel so elated and I finish a conversation without even knowing what I talked about (granted, the low mood is more prevalent in my life). 

As well as this I get so so irritable sometimes, I get so angry at someone and I don't know why, but It makes me feel like a really bad person because they didn't deserve anything for me to be so angry. 

Of course I don't want to self diagnose myself, but I'd really like some insight from people who are going through it as it's a really unknown thing to me and I feel really out of my depth",4.602987220447287,5.039049386581475,5.4425734824281164,83.91638418530354,69.5111821086262,8.432523961661342,30.3464856230032,8.395991825355821,2.086951565495208,1210,46,250,17,20,396,158,313,0.182,0.715,0.10300000000000001,-0.9837,1,0,2,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,1,1,22,16,0,1,10,0,19,9,4,1,5,56,47,29,1,3,15,0,9,5,0,2,5,2,0,2,21,14,0,1,15,0,0,4,11,8,1,1,7,11,36,7,35,37,3,29,0,6,0,0,10,12,0,5,18,165,57,1,0.0,0.0,0.09052761230655867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06308502132816708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15267935165258628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07745691416934485,0.05655015335333076,0.0,0.07893823501688126,0.10451710601940026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15982182259638267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3196017442815465,0.18831394099625332,0.0,0.0,0.10631949120781124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07749526911844361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06127200075266804,0.1678268704783917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28143594530612737,0.1988191731257714,0.08907126344661302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14540143189653298,0.0,0.0527218580972576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0820339161120113,0.0,0.08310137982545222,0.0,0.19041225633690295,0.0,0.1045556155172232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529476307656356,0.0,0.0,0.09822729481038836,0.0,0.0,0.06552436659343876,0.2266073583378393,0.0,0.0819153244231976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061922967898120226,0.0,0.09319733419787668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07404606325033916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07154794710711214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06286159924861973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08855699165889425,0.12862648602623594,0.08100092600138495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09325687164738836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29714589804199953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09677664259518053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0786015271933929,0.1428337720127574,0.18349868515987736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10147249202898326,0.0,0.08743218800552581,0.0,0.06974954881921151,0.2982517273738993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061630546494245,0.05944161186154125,0.0,0.1472939259039189,0.10818684797120454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10943324630275918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08340904435662788,0.0,0.08370816033259547,0.0,0.0,0.08942447480913615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06589930789748134,0.0,0.0,0.0597391718649683
bipolarreddit,EveningSilverFox,2020/04/11,"Is it a good idea to apologize to someone for the things you did and said during a manic phase a year after the fact? Warning - This is gonna be a long post! About relationship stuff.

So, I am 22 years old (F) and have only recently discovered that I have BPD. I need some advice.

A year ago I was in university and talked to this guy who was in a few of my lectures and we exchanged numbers. We texted back and forth communicating via Westworld memes and it was all cool.  Then my manic phase hit and I lost it completely and called him one day at 1 am multiple times because I wanted to talk about my paranoia. Needless to say he didn't take kindly to my behavior and was super pissed off. I tried to apologize and in the process said some weird stuff to him. He responded to one of my texts with a 'Love you'. (????) Since we didn't know each other that well I tried to call him and he didn't pick up. He proceeded to block me after telling me that I caused too much drama and shouldn't try to either call or text him ever again. I did as asked and haven't reached out since. I never told him about my BPD or that the things I did and said were mostly because it was a phase and that I am not usually like that.

In the meantime, my adjustment issues caused me to drop out and join a different college for a different course (because embarrassment).  I have been thinking about the way I behaved constantly and the guilt has been eating me up inside.

Now that everything is shutdown and I'm cooped up in my house all day I maybe getting a bit of cabin fever. I have been thinking about the past more than ever and keep drafting these long apology letters to him trying to explain myself and my mental state at the time in the hope that we can be friends again. It is almost the one year anniversary of the day that we fought and I got blocked (I know that it's messed up that I even remember that) and I'm just wondering - Should I do it? Will it change anything at all?

I know that  most of this is probably in my head and the other person doesn't remember much. Most of the people I've talked to about this seem to think that not sending it is the wiser course of action. But I've just been wondering would having some closure change his opinion of me? I don't want to be the person who never apologized. I don't know why I have been so hung up on all of this. I know that people with BPD have a harder time letting things go but it's been almost a year and I still have trouble forgiving myself for the way I behaved. Some people say that  such apologies made them feel better about things that happened. I don't know what to do. Will my apology give this person the necessary closure to maybe not hate me anymore or will they have just forgotten about this whole thing by now?

So, what I'm asking is how would you feel if a person who annoyed you a lot a long time ago suddenly decided (out of the blue) to open up and apologize. Would you care at all? Can't get in touch with my therapist till like Monday so I'd like a second opinion if anyone is feeling like it. A simple yay or a nay would be alright too.",3.7838519690576646,4.802500890822785,4.6186624472573845,86.96374964838257,71.73734177215191,7.8329676511955,26.069760900140647,8.167268648758528,1.4398766807313639,2441,76,515,35,45,789,268,632,0.07,0.8490000000000001,0.081,0.8944,2,0,0,0,0,0,53.0,5,5,2,3,29,27,4,2,38,3,62,5,2,5,10,115,107,41,0,12,15,0,4,4,1,10,1,5,0,5,50,38,1,3,22,1,1,3,15,10,1,4,26,11,68,17,74,65,21,71,0,1,1,1,63,24,1,22,43,376,118,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06249374492546121,0.1133802503611792,0.0,0.12807859087812296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06342379905375244,0.0447171480154005,0.0,0.05262754436124098,0.0,0.11957410441913835,0.0,0.0,0.049175605276388284,0.0,0.11695474228929167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05656088159772875,0.06981968049855647,0.0,0.24163819967716554,0.0,0.19590827847172795,0.0,0.06520394247170078,0.13139388268642588,0.13530675142656592,0.0,0.0670530890343655,0.06911004584979022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12373241764263118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13363372009988875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0654394801548842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042240092099034086,0.11569758419209518,0.0,0.0,0.057476477207141614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970090751377324,0.045687753409514135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049409623569860735,0.0,0.06682519257513171,0.06134916562914665,0.036345738906908384,0.05364041041609895,0.05114873997381026,0.0,0.0,0.06332313303641852,0.05655307692339241,0.0,0.0,0.06313995676250214,0.06563382250991241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06351936627053544,0.0,0.07379271911380746,0.0,0.0721947061054015,0.0,0.06674990365521287,0.0,0.05684401329489201,0.0,0.0665967962603927,0.21088007345959528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06539587098896067,0.0,0.12497604868686912,0.0,0.0,0.16978812744641955,0.0,0.0,0.06981182240080998,0.0543702173510117,0.0577197224077932,0.0605135006559012,0.0,0.0,0.12849797400263122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06444918348957164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09402504552835904,0.04742004587172473,0.09864838223581714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06710750040203856,0.0,0.13000781967962652,0.04863883751183285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0610499973517219,0.1330100506605395,0.2233637898143262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061248916946640974,0.0,0.0689517241992299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06314548161141001,0.06866116360339608,0.14489166809173634,0.0,0.18250071554136094,0.10171535588339432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058220049214853686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10580451056605908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054186834230789765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051072632538242575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464208631761555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04808439955930895,0.1542080429667657,0.05589739512924753,0.0,0.0,0.07425390293267213,0.21243634352166585,0.12293473994827275,0.0,0.0,0.1491651118315698,0.0,0.0,0.061109454196813365,0.0,0.17367848189536025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07043475866442675,0.0,0.07544180613889204,0.1015252013542854,0.0,0.0,0.057501071814812024,0.0,0.05770727834010839,0.07140079900816274,0.0,0.0,0.1387077430178634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18172038129380047,0.0,0.0,0.2059169025410361
bipolarreddit,Smkabwlwme,2020/04/11,"What are some signs that you have had that helped you realize your depression was more than just depression and that you were bipolar? Hey all, new to this community and just trying to figure some things out for myself. I am really wondering what signs and symptoms you showed that made you realize that your depression was more than just depression and was bipolar disorder?

I am a 32yo male that has struggled with pretty severe depression over the last year stemming from an engagement that ended not by my choice. I dated the girl for 5 years and she had a child that I helped raise for those 5 years and between the loss of the relationship and not being able to see the kid anymore, it hit me really hard and has definitely changed me as a person. 

I show the obvious symptoms of depressive episodes like being sad, feelings of hopelessness, zero enjoyment from anything, extreme lack of motivation, fatigue, lack of concentration, etc.

What I am not sure about is do those symptoms go more into the bipolar side of things. Some examples of things that I have struggled with in the past that make me worry I could possibly be bipolar:

1. After depressive episodes I can get really focused on something that I think will make me get out of my ""funk"" and make me start to feel better. Usually these center around my career pathway and what I want to do with my life. When I was younger, I jumped around majors just about every year because I could never focus on one until I finally dropped out of college. I've worked in the restaurant industry for awhile but never felt like it was where I belonged. I just did it because I could make good money without a degree. I went back to college in my mid 20s, got an associates, and then never used it. I most recently have gotten interested in going back to school again for something completely different but I'm not sure if I am doing that and just working myself up for it because I have been laid off from my job due to COVID-19 and just want something to focus on. Basically, I'm 32 and still not sure what I want to do with my life because I can't fully commit to anything. 
2. I rarely finish things that are not work related. I have hobbies that I have done in the past and still do sometimes like reading, video games, and wood working. I will start a book and get into it and then halfway through just stop reading it and never finish it. Same with video games. Same with woodworking projects. Do half, decide all of a sudden I'm not interested anymore, never finish. And this is with A LOT of things. Including school in the past (see #1).
3. I'll have extreme flashes of anger sometimes over small, trivial things. Like a shaking rage where if someone saw me in public acting like that they would probably be scared of me.
4. I feel that I have an increased sex drive and am going down holes that I have never gone down before. I am single and have been for awhile and haven't gotten laid in forever and just feel like some days I can't get enough. (I have not randomly had sex with anyone, just more porn than normal.) I may have chalked this up to just being single and depressed before but over the last couple months I have gotten more and more into things that I just don't feel like are me. A few years ago I would have never questioned my sexuality but now I definitely do. I wonder if I am bisexual now or if my mind is just looking for something out of the ordinary because what worked before, hasn't worked recently. 
5. Last November when this really hit me hard, I quit my job. Just didn't go and called them and told them I was done. I have never done this in my life and if there is one thing I have always been able to take pride in in myself, it was that no matter what restaurant I worked in, I was always considered one of the best employees and would NEVER not show up for a shift and would definitely not just quit out of the blue like that. I then went unemployed for 3 months while I saw a therapist and tried to figure out what was wrong with me. I blew through about $30,000 in savings starting a little before I quit the job up until the end of January. Some was from just everyday expenses, rent, whatever. But a decent portion was just buying things I wanted.
6. I've had a few episodes of extreme crying. One in particular stands out. One night I was just kind of closing my eyes and my mind started running. I felt like I had this out of body experience where I sensed that I was in my old home, in my old room, I was watching TV in bed with my ex and her son was running around being goofy in the living room. It felt like I was there. Extremely vivid. I could feel everything. The color of the room, the decorations, the noises. I opened my eyes, came to, and lost it. The heartache I felt was so intense and I cried harder than I ever have before.

I feel that there are other instances to that may correlate but I don't want to write a book. I know that I have not suffered from full blown mania but possibly hypomania with swings from feeling happy and like things are going to turn around for me one day to all the way down in the hole the next day. I have become more and more worried that I am going to start making decisions that would become a huge hindrance on my life and feel like the only reason I haven't over about the past month is because of COVID-19 not allowing me to quit my job (ya know, cause layoff) or make other extremely negative life choices that I would quickly regret and put me further in a hole.

I know I need to talk to my therapist about this (I have been seeing a counselor and not a psychiatrist) but was just wanting some thoughts from people who actually live with the disorder. Am I just worried and extremely depressed and COVID-19 is just making things harder right now or could this go further than just depression? (Obvious answer is yes, it could. So, please don't just say talk to your counselor/psychiatrist.) Any advice or thoughts or things that you have found helpful would be greatly appreciated.",5.965213400095376,6.47044438197425,6.126253576537909,79.95971894372914,66.55364806866953,9.150333810205057,30.6869933237959,9.075114841892004,2.4559682880305203,4775,169,909,78,72,1521,408,1165,0.102,0.799,0.099,-0.3883,10,1,4,0,2,1,115.0,0,10,3,17,52,51,2,4,51,1,117,19,3,13,19,235,194,72,0,29,55,2,15,12,0,11,13,1,6,5,74,73,0,1,32,12,4,19,34,24,0,8,53,28,127,27,146,115,34,162,0,17,12,3,38,69,0,24,83,686,201,25,0.072049994222396,0.0,0.035155200512220666,0.0,0.0,0.03520321023941441,0.031933986315131814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0599513669977304,0.0,0.0,0.024498233385403842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0714542338576341,0.0251895156030536,0.0,0.05929100618766293,0.12827954068753442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05540199817629595,0.0,0.1317630232023123,0.07957355793808041,0.15327309587608584,0.0,0.03780601190250395,0.03186118240451688,0.0,0.040015650536285634,0.0,0.0,0.036785549886674436,0.04120299952647507,0.0,0.037007595575366835,0.03810967019949663,0.0,0.03777152406683878,0.0,0.0,0.17257817287558375,0.039860974097144515,0.07914353544621477,0.06969942858921138,0.0,0.3102827722392946,0.0,0.0,0.03763845445142144,0.08257553549762836,0.0,0.0,0.11059823896980213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06381490930975785,0.0372234521046094,0.040177394556905166,0.0,0.03258667235708644,0.030352613811569264,0.0,0.03237694449832147,0.03523935982972511,0.0,0.0,0.16393788872524698,0.07720879540312388,0.1383585868028312,0.03946362344737007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03949954989163864,0.0,0.0,0.0752862964547121,0.0,0.14331685238274625,0.030216058382461712,0.028812481135941363,0.03971768649450783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03834927930696957,0.06454264276214265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07244038856786403,0.0,0.036136009401255775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14299700353847758,0.0,0.0,0.03751449081539818,0.059395188831744515,0.08809554251382141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12722760422687654,0.21119992674767726,0.036106511211740036,0.06362146491546165,0.0,0.030251924446037876,0.0,0.0393255399256942,0.030627164277852663,0.0,0.034087723314605155,0.16832875717288226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07274995502005663,0.0,0.08626442698691351,0.0,0.0,0.02671207888687239,0.25006228778503303,0.034793166695960887,0.038312993122440624,0.03380701938862772,0.03529684833784805,0.0,0.0,0.0756043488228231,0.0,0.14646882226080624,0.027398633651608315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13755974422411352,0.02497519702674775,0.03145563792858292,0.0,0.039544628724498786,0.0,0.08122554277519052,0.0,0.03665037328233255,0.038841039951290686,0.0,0.0,0.03621507226772225,0.04035624147244464,0.15326807532921766,0.07206949197408105,0.0,0.09231414248881983,0.037039696985107735,0.07114067711854723,0.038677364918619374,0.0,0.030765150695723026,0.0,0.02864852364033265,0.03606730671986783,0.07291844071867434,0.0861217755765767,0.0,0.0,0.040697992627906375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03052386314678375,0.11093521119327047,0.0712592865995315,0.0,0.12749339187474246,0.0,0.05753921845677715,0.030118510677550836,0.0,0.07532229769216492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10185940031692677,0.11233129717070746,0.027086314461412728,0.05791105615068765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08365559654502129,0.28720088792523474,0.023083363523227277,0.0,0.05719964735012997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03442342855708466,0.0,0.048917216591173686,0.03918485201864794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03111403085090401,0.03967644474472869,0.0,0.12749086003005095,0.028594965881278658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06679106648216454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034726811660175036,0.07813514528720611,0.18358638866817867,0.1097553997841857,0.0,0.17913787038093304,0.039387679042304814,0.0,0.1159945850684288
bipolarreddit,jki851,2020/04/11,"Endless mixed episode has me considering any possible options out (mention of suicide) I apologize if the format is off, I’m on mobile. 

I’m diagnosed bp1 and I’ve been in the worst, longest mixed episode I’ve ever experienced. Now with the state of the world, my life has flipped even more upside down and I’m having an immensely hard time staying afloat. 

I have a friend who was recently kind of diagnosed (? she kind of had to beg the psych to give her the diagnosis, the psych was not convinced) with bp2 and she is so. triggering. to me right now. I know I should just be able to support her and be there for her if it’s something I know about, but also she’s expecting me to be her doctor and tell her what she’s feeling, which feels incredibly overwhelming to be put in that position. Not only that, but the way she is talking about it is like she wants this life? Even from the beginning of our friendship she told me she was jealous of my bipolar which is a bit.. off putting, but I still love her to death. It’s like she hasn’t seen how much this illness has torn me apart, she continues to go on about how exciting it is. 

I feel that I’m so close to the edge already and this is so painfully triggering to me. I found myself planning out a suicide note again last night. I’ve been trying to find help again, I promise. I moved back to the US at the end of January, and started looking for help a little bit after. Clearly, I never anticipated that this current crisis would have me kicked out of housing and I’d be forced to move states to go stay with family. All my work to find help, gone. Now that I’m back in a small town it’s been so hard to find an office that’s open or accepting patients. I even emailed my old therapist out of country, but it’s been a week and no response. It’s so discouraging! Truly drawing the connection that I don’t need/am not worth the help. But I’m still trying. 

In the meantime, I am trying whatever I can to get myself the fuck out of this space. But like I said, last night I couldn’t stop the spiral much and ended up drinking on a completely empty stomach, smoking, taking pills, and writing a suicide note. I don’t know what to do. I’m trying to sleep semi normally, I’m going on walks and bike rides, I’m cleaning my room, reaching out to my support system (to no avail), hanging out with my brothers. I still feel this way. The thing is I have some old meds in my drawer that could help, lamotragine, lithium, abilify, seroquel, even some old antidepressants from long ago. But I know I shouldn’t be medicating myself, I’m not a doctor and I’d eventually run out, but this is just something that crossed my mind. As you can see, I don’t know how to help myself. I’m trying what I can for now, but it feels like it’s not enough or I’m not meant to be better. What else can I do? Can I contact my old psychiatrist in a different state, would she be allowed to treat me if I am across the country? I feel myself slipping, any help is so appreciated.",3.3870682615858456,4.70146168039539,4.583322469737126,85.7053339660483,73.05271828665569,7.650583769070983,27.69318100422606,8.18289091462,1.7195502757682115,2348,88,490,36,46,773,256,607,0.111,0.7490000000000001,0.14,0.9458,3,0,3,0,0,3,77.0,2,1,0,3,32,22,2,1,31,0,52,16,2,6,4,92,96,38,4,12,22,1,8,4,1,4,11,1,2,0,33,27,1,2,17,2,1,13,15,6,0,0,14,13,71,16,72,68,10,89,0,2,3,2,41,34,1,8,38,332,104,5,0.06874636747264301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060939506846039534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07586332599278195,0.054976445230494136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09349977458957454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10572342625289062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06080057541525743,0.15010645625410926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07207925834069072,0.0,0.0,0.05488838048407205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13955223177013154,0.0,0.07182532209046186,0.0,0.1407296402825262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0673452681077509,0.0,0.0,0.05742876868219185,0.0,0.12177775315569235,0.0710333746616283,0.0,0.18162530941298985,0.06218502518282047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06480795698318409,0.0,0.2085613739483481,0.049112418658629885,0.0,0.0,0.18849880327361693,0.0,0.0,0.07537684356983658,0.05311327297662617,0.06355490896425127,0.03591713960277584,0.06594777991663825,0.11721043468608937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12316648418557576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32255468703975826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0793240779994512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14317752549341933,0.1889060284506777,0.11207492989128724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971151848351,0.13434401053593195,0.06890192052633981,0.0,0.0608383718912655,0.057729634461941313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06204628068144676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07636171650293506,0.06925473274401485,0.0,0.0,0.06941423376093016,0.0,0.0,0.14613301800490824,0.10107298030162898,0.05097456039890549,0.05302143667402446,0.0,0.0,0.12902761773285154,0.0673568438873126,0.0,0.0,0.2885509931151714,0.0,0.0,0.0522847102929067,0.07315098197018842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07750119999388445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382181743682235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06787874425566688,0.0,0.0,0.05870902219786689,0.06539353822622958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054781954253495184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06879601527706496,0.0,0.0,0.10584862464815087,0.0,0.0,0.048659032732748235,0.14654896146117946,0.1647028136008673,0.05747504146569458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255921040843689,0.15602512625328582,0.0,0.0,0.051688712748433056,0.05525572610839335,0.060087355289892286,0.0,0.0,0.07981983126154857,0.04567203183675002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040086559716940716,0.0,0.0,0.06569010018096623,0.0,0.2333713544192332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08269341555261897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040548388692328366,0.10913533323954233,0.05514418926959232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050048174285369035,0.0,0.0,0.09767089404584813,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,gonedeadforlife,2020/04/11,"What the hell do I do now? I have recently been diagnosed as bipolar 1, the psych gave me lamotrigine, now all the demons are under control. 

​

How do I live with this knowing what I've gone through? The pure hell. I don't know how else to describe it. I feel like I can live again at the same time, I can function.",1.9822727272727287,3.8706948030303066,3.003030303030304,93.12454545454548,78.24242424242425,6.218181818181819,26.15151515151515,7.1686216300943375,1.034351515151516,251,10,56,3,6,80,46,66,0.145,0.8170000000000001,0.038,-0.8426,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,5,3,2,0,5,0,9,2,0,3,2,10,14,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,3,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,3,1,8,1,6,11,2,8,3,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,6,39,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2920962796914762,0.3275764542834994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3023635823266795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2736240790285158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22520448066054755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13631076370396633,0.1925922667645465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2963147913987821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317060848458581,0.0,0.4760986910483802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661836166570609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15719774373851514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3275764542834994,0.0
bipolarreddit,dear_curiosity,2020/04/11,"Help Hi guys,
So my friend has just been diagnosed with bipolar II and is really struggling with it because he doesn’t know anyone with it. His family does not understand mental illness of any kind and I’m worried about him. I can’t help him like someone who understands mood disorders. So what I’m asking is if anyone (preferably someone who had been through some treatment and is feeling at least slightly better than they did before) would like to be his support system in the way that I can’t be since I don’t know what it’s like. I’m supporting him through this like a close friend would but I just can’t help him the way one of you could. Please respond to this post if you would like to communicate with him
xoxo stay healthy!",4.293253918495296,5.839003993103452,4.361943573667713,87.267868338558,71.13793103448276,7.479623824451412,28.35423197492163,8.00094639256281,1.7258965517241376,589,22,117,8,11,182,89,145,0.023,0.6940000000000001,0.28300000000000003,0.9875,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,2,1,1,5,13,0,1,3,0,19,3,0,0,0,25,30,8,0,7,6,0,1,5,2,3,3,0,0,1,10,8,0,0,6,0,0,0,6,1,0,1,4,1,15,11,15,20,2,8,0,0,0,0,22,3,0,3,5,76,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09331861314236334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19190368748837314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12828809855141934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08365189981420462,0.0,0.11676950345092847,0.0,0.0,0.12136554127355385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095640618790346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392818409121856,0.0,0.0,0.1572732680536435,0.0,0.12008769006111668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12936477532289206,0.0,0.06938575790640036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21204145123931356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358756458352446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2759397581980195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14290011041043796,0.15083200931023155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33520927730113753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13829186918409964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09298811569352708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506333069713737,0.0,0.0,0.13142489557564688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08791070375319206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11351504194507507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2325428557883093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14626501401786055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14345875983688194,0.0,0.0,0.3114456363393685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2857149074941947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21784775391061398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13936000379586855,0.0,0.2924449524100633,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,x24throwaway,2020/04/11,"What are your unusual hypomania/mania triggers and early warning signs that you’re headed towards an episode? I haven’t had a hypomanic episode in a few years, I thought my meds were working really well to control that. Lately there have started to be a few small things I’ve noticed that are making me wonder if I’m on the way to an episode. I remember noticing small changes before my last hypomanic episode but they were different and more *typical*. 

I’m just interested in the *unusual*, not textbook, experience of other people.",5.511881443298968,7.8243268247422675,6.412976804123713,70.68070231958767,69.41237113402062,9.386082474226805,37.89819587628866,9.827888789773867,4.397042268041238,430,25,68,11,8,142,70,97,0.019,0.922,0.059000000000000004,0.5494,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,1,2,3,2,0,0,7,0,8,1,1,3,0,13,14,4,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,4,0,8,2,8,9,3,12,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,2,5,48,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.180153214083542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.223965580353828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23745550852880976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22119630662521625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2070971392364871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2172798769357868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17257535250597142,0.23882287020382914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14132089082119298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351667791581559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4820761024040268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14677598801735736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13562955536707574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2398309484964001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14985241988728548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406535253073368,0.0,0.0,0.16807744789897666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1680488992760445,0.0,0.0,0.1903565163481268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295950485621222,0.15413047909922106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13633702116422544
bipolarreddit,Psychotic_Werewolf,2020/04/11,"(Serious) Mania is crippling my life.  I have bipolar 1, and if I ever start feeling happy it is almost always because I am manic. It is really fucking depressing. I want to live, but without the mania I don't feel like I could achieve happiness. This was one of the reasons why I considered suicide In my past. Therapy helps, but therapists don't live with bipolar 1 Do you guys have any advice I would be seriously grateful.",3.170277777777777,5.667488543209879,5.257515432098766,75.40256944444448,77.14814814814815,8.000617283950618,32.34722222222222,8.841846274778883,3.3908629629629616,336,18,55,8,8,116,60,81,0.14400000000000002,0.664,0.192,0.5057,0,0,0,0,0,1,11.0,0,1,0,1,1,7,1,0,2,0,13,4,0,1,1,14,18,4,1,4,4,0,2,1,0,1,3,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,1,2,11,3,5,14,0,4,0,1,0,1,3,1,1,2,4,40,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18575071900514134,0.0,0.0,0.1903445726700551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.158167528606544,0.0,0.0,0.12926561057206065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11587521010947327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15176892239002854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16372156870462795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17194448401574128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19222729654357312,0.13579811956651144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17573227632212315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882159167321841,0.0,0.4047020800746768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127411242421551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13426399923029858,0.09286685783391692,0.0,0.3357004310639813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12880780314139134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.181459455132191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12177453579533686,0.1954409924528172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13454448641517752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079242165927344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2173809367483394,0.2207055422127918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112118178787813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1715238614086919,0.0,0.0,0.18323698863723126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13503228012448465,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Wonderinguy23,2020/04/11,"I have schizo affective idk where else to post this I almost developed binge eating disorder. I got put on Latuda at 18 I’m 22 now about to be 23 in June my psychiatrist never informed me that this could cause me to gain weight then dropped me suddenly. Today I felt an overwhelming urge to Binge and I said to myself I can’t go down this road I’m in the worst situation I have ever been in my life.Everyday I wake up I’m tired from the sleep apnea i developed from my meds making me hungry all the time which made me fat.

I’m anxious cause I’m tired I think crazy shit I have harm ocd the anxiety wears me out right along with being tired. Anyways I just said to myself I can’t take these pills anymore an eating disorder will kill me I can’t go down this road I can’t handle it.",-0.1448616600790551,2.168894060606064,2.011462450592888,93.41893280632416,93.24242424242424,5.536231884057972,16.870882740447954,7.079830092131019,0.17690250329380808,620,16,136,11,23,207,99,165,0.225,0.755,0.02,-0.985,0,0,0,0,0,1,6.0,0,0,0,1,6,5,2,1,6,0,12,12,5,5,3,18,27,2,1,1,1,0,2,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,8,4,4,0,3,0,0,3,5,5,0,0,6,4,27,0,20,17,2,26,0,1,0,0,3,13,1,1,8,83,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380791350806366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10548716723635712,0.15577895377049952,0.13675202478146714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28330657843499546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110095713483047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3160728501886563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28219632205389283,0.11519125189626495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247314031692114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323981510241053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15673464730442396,0.0,0.1102850012266095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15255730573941048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09739734958622984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13047694816098415,0.0920441244279655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15316716556467613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10635097718390273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13206262527771925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13861976240863605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11775919839066598,0.2623341473988972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14154437738665712,0.0,0.15499662739495615,0.13799179935573058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10367778496781077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08835576368665336,0.0,0.0,0.08040605961034071,0.4754604499863099,0.1307056967406198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679155697917606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Ravenried,2020/04/12,"Just putting it out there How many of you, don't specifically feel depressed, but are secretly hoping you don't make it out of this pandemic?",11.956666666666665,7.929408370370375,10.673333333333336,66.63000000000001,57.88888888888889,15.244444444444447,45.51851851851853,13.023866798666859,5.526807407407406,114,5,22,3,1,36,21,27,0.0,0.8059999999999999,0.19399999999999998,0.6758,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,2,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,9,6,2,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,1,2,1,4,6,0,3,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,1,0,16,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4074705445576709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2392078264983193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4698837564800829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3157903347091473,0.4796376175205958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.475584741996043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,joifullnoyses,2020/04/12,"Anyone on mono therapy with Lamictal? Basically what the title says.

Background: I was diagnosed with Bipolar a few years ago after years of improperly being diagnosed with MDD for years. Anyway, since the diagnosis, I've always been on Lamictal and Zyprexa since my diagnosis. My current doctor wants to reduce the amount of zyprexa I'm on until I don't take it anymore, leaving me only on Lamictal.

I'm not upset about getting off of zyprexa, as I've gained 35-40 pounds in the last year alone (I was 105 lbs before gaining that weight, meaning, I gained a third of my weight in a year) but I'm terrified of only taking one medication for bipolar, even if it is the drug that literally saved me life.

Is anyone here who were able to go down to only Lamictal and how did it work for you?",4.876854066985646,6.273713407894737,6.179354066985649,75.37138755980862,69.52631578947367,9.211483253588515,30.92344497607656,9.573946990214177,3.0052026315789475,626,26,113,14,11,211,95,152,0.047,0.879,0.07400000000000001,0.2851,1,1,1,0,0,1,18.0,0,1,0,4,5,2,0,1,8,0,9,11,0,1,0,12,18,7,0,2,3,0,2,0,0,0,9,1,0,0,7,5,2,0,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,2,5,3,10,1,26,12,2,19,0,0,0,0,3,8,0,1,10,72,17,2,0.14281963470287287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266009889204402,0.0,0.0,0.14791806940397034,0.0,0.0,0.11883737711518433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14163870084459787,0.19972561861231447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12152898996900452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28991784578744645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14618194790448594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.165625434022244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943310217571929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07461736446921127,0.0,0.08116768968141595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11641706416556025,0.0,0.1512253716230324,0.0,0.0,0.10087773166902518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15557245120203833,0.0,0.14387575657552085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967782806758645,0.32586230367226354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11357590587612022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2362837553671976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21476518234743391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1633266991373198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08423872087689516,0.0,0.0,0.3478316784689908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10397439503733123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4598558111149674
bipolarreddit,heartlesschick1995,2020/04/12,Medication Question Does anyone take vraylar 4.5mg? I was on 3mg but now I’m on 4.5mg and it makes me so sleepy. I started taking it at night but it makes me feel hungover. Anyone else like this?,-1.8266666666666684,-0.5814817619047616,0.8395238095238113,97.35547619047621,116.61904761904762,2.8190476190476192,16.571428571428573,5.033348758259628,-0.7371142857142856,154,5,34,1,9,52,30,42,0.0,0.907,0.09300000000000001,0.5588,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,7,8,4,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,4,1,3,7,0,6,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,4,17,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39305737655627976,0.2879865128817221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2459637593727111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23479554029988095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421159975089652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373152135404322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3752290138483056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28314558654288396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26376248276228165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3148595362212507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19894077729892165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4226550391263058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Keyboardtyper57,2020/04/12,"How those who have bipolar... When ever you hear your thoughts, think for a second, is this me talking? Or am I the one who listens?",1.0187179487179492,3.4000906153846167,1.85923076923077,97.16910256410259,85.15384615384616,3.466666666666667,24.051282051282055,3.1291,-0.07170256410256437,100,4,21,0,3,31,25,26,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,3,1,0,1,1,5,7,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,2,4,0,1,6,0,2,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,1,2,20,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.439573991638888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5477064445062647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3292955892432929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3905921082280397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3113802518148172,0.0,0.3857938765656992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kenzieloveswater,2020/04/12,"Feeling very off and very exhausted on Latuda Since about December last year I’ve been taking Latuda. They slowly upped my dose to 60mg, but had me come back down to 40mg after experiencing some severe irritability.

There is not a day that goes by where my feet don’t drag. I am literally braindead exhausted. I also take extended release Concerta for ADD, and to combat the exhaustion of Latuda, my psychiatrist put me on Ritalin 10mg. 

However, a Ritalin boost in the morning only works occasionally. 

On top of being extremely tired, I feel the Latuda makes me feel off, or uncomfortable. To a point where I wish I could feel nothing, instead. 

Anyway, if anybody has taken Latuda and found a solution to this, or found a medication that worked better, please share your experience. Thanks :)",6.569160839160838,8.157747629370633,7.7282587412587365,65.12469580419581,65.71328671328672,11.034685314685316,32.481818181818184,11.00357731598739,4.135540419580419,633,26,101,19,10,215,103,143,0.168,0.6509999999999999,0.18100000000000002,0.2633,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,1,4,8,6,0,0,8,0,8,9,1,1,0,20,21,8,0,3,5,0,4,0,0,0,8,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,6,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,5,5,13,3,19,14,1,19,0,0,0,0,3,12,0,4,5,67,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13843904081299266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13311382411639594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15310508538841386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14912220746073895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13821728040318446,0.0,0.0,0.1116440776343359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1693385112725202,0.0,0.0,0.35012614874117026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3796206858980786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14111084964008455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11555480366167667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17439393785183435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16610735700210028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13166084332641287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1900269638661992,0.1636484933666688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17402718020631688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1955693155803684,0.0,0.14320152167983802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2603200619374444,0.0,0.0,0.1593799255861741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19896884343428264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28567402472314024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1990723229746068,0.0,0.0,0.2520578117940893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11147960942578028
bipolarreddit,junebug_vs_hurricane,2020/04/12,"Has anyone here actually been happy and stable on Lexapro? I've only heard bad things about it from bipolar people so I just wondered if I could find even 1 person to vouch for it, other than non-bipolar people. I searched the sub for posts about it and it's all horror stories and people about to start it who are afraid, some of whom never post again.

I hated it personally. I felt angry for no reason when on it.",3.111583476764196,4.939920915662653,4.246333907056801,85.73734939759039,74.78313253012048,5.7067125645438885,21.49569707401033,6.1826913282559595,0.3418516351118761,328,8,63,2,7,107,61,83,0.14300000000000002,0.753,0.10400000000000001,-0.5318,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,9,4,1,1,1,0,4,1,0,1,2,13,9,6,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,11,3,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,3,2,5,1,13,5,2,8,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,3,4,48,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.205864187191029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14750645935174636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761407848005533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16843247830713215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393355056112782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2025523791505824,0.0,0.19281142513406294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2245682885849752,0.0,0.2082769559107722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16270350671035266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16044276137387986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.438754314661918,0.3684000796691219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4040781346259687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2168995483610043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493168755012359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14015085604171473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287745190076798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,nightrider2039,2020/04/12,"Need opinions and advice on this 
So the other night I was feeling very manic I had a mental break down at 3 AM I kept going through my closet trying on all my clothes dividing them up and then putting them back in my closet and repeating the process a few other times I then proceeded to get very frustrated I felt so overwhelmed and I was hitting myself and pulling my hair and screaming over the past few days I’ve been impulsively spending my money I have had very strong violent urges I’ve also had the urges for self infliction of pain for example I would make my brother punch me in the face I would punch myself in the face and I had the urge to cut myself I also I’ve been staying up till 6 AM and sleeping for only a few hours i’ve been on Abilify for a few weeks and my dreams have been very vivid and intense I also no matter what time I go to sleep always wake up around 11 AM whereas in the past I always tend to sleep in extremely late around 2/3 o’clock but being on Abilify like I said doesn’t matter if I go to sleep at 6 AM I’m  Immediately up around 11 AM which that has never happened to me before I’ve also become somewhat anxious about going to sleep because of the dreams and sleep pattern I’ve been on I don’t know if this is medication that’s making me this way or it’s a fact of self isolation. I just found out recently that I am bipolar so this is all new to me just thought I’d share and get some opinions from people who deal with the same things I deal with",3.3227666713267148,4.471721877813508,4.594732280162173,86.20432545784989,72.98713826366559,7.337956102334687,26.383475464839925,7.7425588080867325,1.3796933035090166,1188,40,248,15,23,393,156,311,0.061,0.871,0.068,0.0203,0,1,0,0,0,1,2.0,0,0,2,1,14,9,3,1,15,0,27,13,10,2,4,46,47,26,0,5,6,1,3,1,0,2,3,2,2,2,14,18,0,1,5,2,2,6,4,6,0,0,16,6,36,3,43,27,9,50,0,1,1,0,10,22,0,7,20,174,50,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906281521264376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2966686815023952,0.15434051529695325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10477407719461126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2476848911450185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07131424498905999,0.0,0.056535749771141376,0.10242822266788544,0.07891812908809895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05981206803157259,0.19122953740748835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04689404371436801,0.0,0.08904857658923618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10168877190913786,0.0,0.0,0.0969095983254172,0.0,0.2108337183973787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08201302169912343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09133394520349934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05096955810197696,0.0,0.10461902773045174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045309928081858575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12381439167108275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09342960501005357,0.09346392047210927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06876834051521839,0.07152972351839433,0.08957252429074203,0.0,0.08703375843443945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07053582675407151,0.09868592485706916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17706887157777834,0.06429686213655664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09323311869649704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09157329778207077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08822057648059413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935039862851247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5568645733448976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09885253354858158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06161484891273253,0.0,0.0,0.07362820473432474,0.1081592922871938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06296694131978875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3060933381089373,0.0,0.07361569869094768,0.07439346912363763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13176504608590833,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,thefuturesbeensold,2020/04/13,"Struggling with rumination in my relationship First off just to give some back story, ive (f 27) been with my partner (m 28)for 2 years. He is the most amazing man who i adore, hes affectionate, loving and the most supportive person ive ever met in regards to my BP. No one can make me laugh like he does, we have an undeniable connection and i am not here to find fault with him. However like with most relationships there have been difficult times where he has done things that have deeply upset me. (This post is not to discuss these things)these events have betrayed my trust and made me feel insecure and not good enough. We have discussed these things at length and i know 100% the remorse and full responsibility he has taken. 

I am not a easy person to be with, although he spends every minute of every day trying to convince me otherwise. He has never once raised his voice or used my mental health against me, even though alot of my feelings of anger and insecurity are likely because of my bipolar brain and probably not rational responses, but he has never said this and always takes full responsibility. In October i attempted suicide and he supported me every step of the way in trying to recover. 

Despite us moving forward and having an amazing healthy relationship full of love and communication i still cannot stop myself relaying over and over in my brain anything that has ever upset me. Non stop  everyday. The best way i can describe it is when you find out something really awful (like someone dying) and that sinking feeling you get the next morning when you wake up and remember it. i feel this sensation constantly throughout the day. I know this isn't normal, and I've done some research on rumination which can be a common thing in people with mood disorders, but knowing this doesnt make it any less painful and i don't want this to ruin my relationship because i know deep down i love him and he loves me. 

I'm not sure what advice there really is but i just wanted to try and get it into words mainly. Some days i feel like my brain might actually explode, or like i just want to switch it off. I feel lost and like i am reaching the end of what i can handle.

 Thanks if you have read this far!",6.7607801418439735,7.081971347517732,7.0210931442080415,74.86120000000003,64.83924349881796,9.983130023640664,32.522836879432624,9.791249743138472,3.0206197446808525,1772,66,325,34,25,574,224,423,0.113,0.725,0.162,0.9812,1,0,1,0,0,1,37.0,3,4,0,4,15,36,1,5,13,1,38,11,4,4,5,82,71,30,2,5,15,0,6,7,1,1,3,2,0,4,24,30,0,2,13,1,1,3,13,11,0,2,9,8,50,24,40,59,14,50,0,2,0,4,38,23,0,11,30,228,74,2,0.0,0.0,0.07598965472910775,0.0,0.0,0.07609343006077803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06479387988573565,0.0,0.0,0.052954108334065775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06408017907870688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0598770402583241,0.0,0.09493736814013744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08171951089162882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2607852219432734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08414954883309649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15065866318893908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08081651876285419,0.0,0.08924549341362283,0.0,0.06814435336049014,0.15937560437734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06896949603988341,0.08046027990286868,0.0,0.05143224330262764,0.1408753154643372,0.19682589859204305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.236239747931839,0.05563017343331789,0.0,0.0,0.14234310322434876,0.06623597966002016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0813674732339827,0.07469977114760186,0.0,0.06531346174400719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08277191550506538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17118073859657318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26630262604515925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08500404371041596,0.0,0.2811220012757153,0.07368225148588628,0.10395734142297414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07847440479342943,0.08260751167914095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08276323339370638,0.0,0.0,0.12011592173302052,0.0,0.08281537515341104,0.0,0.07629583330882632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08292875498891622,0.05276656592295954,0.0,0.0828589168475829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05398508815770417,0.13598574496230925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07457770667346883,0.0,0.08395677374083106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07789083452544758,0.0,0.0997707268359989,0.0,0.0,0.3344119291796849,0.08821126038676609,0.0,0.07407197552678912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06597879652873344,0.0599479470537144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06218689241145515,0.13020521538748928,0.0,0.0814063824360922,0.0,0.0851768807032363,0.17673136592511188,0.07339132900414508,0.0,0.05854836990877895,0.0,0.0,0.0716920145900653,0.0,0.0,0.1551996290260468,0.0,0.07650664566302667,0.0,0.04540648435376159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586053703966257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936677356690776,0.06725447237227697,0.0,0.0,0.13778880924648448,0.12361878485395805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050145573578691184
bipolarreddit,rosieeposiex,2020/04/13,tapering off lithium i’m on 600 mg of lithium. any idea how long it would take to taper off safety? would like to hear from people who stopped taking it on potential side effects,1.3137142857142872,3.995832942857145,2.648571428571429,88.54142857142858,91.0,5.085714285714286,24.142857142857146,6.742157984588678,1.1953999999999998,143,6,26,2,5,46,29,35,0.05,0.812,0.139,0.5267,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,6,6,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,8,4,0,7,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,3,14,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22076787112093146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3658954243892723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3664815990417388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15860381126080658,0.0,0.0,0.2872981866289078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22506606871114296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2714154681691279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4881811587051801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4612330980182754,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Jspeo,2020/04/13,"I had to isolate for three weeks due to being covid19 positive. I’m “free” now but I feel the damage has been done. I’m depressed. I don’t want to move. I knew isolation would be bad for me. At first I relished it. I was absolved of having to deal with anything. 

Now that I’m better physically, reality has set in. My home life got turned upside down just before I got sick. Now I have to deal with that. My boyfriend had to leave the home because I was sick, and also because he had an outburst of rage that led to one of my dogs biting him. Totally not the dogs fault. Either way I have to deal with it. The anxiety of what will happen between him and the dog is overwhelming. I can’t handle another issue. I want my home life back. I want my little family back. 

There are alotta reasons to end my relationship but I’m not ready I guess. And with the world in its current state and resources limited I’m extraaaaa afraid of heart break. Even my therapist nudged me towards staying. I love him. We’ve repaired a lot of damage in the relationship. But three weeks of not seeing him has my mind swirling with the bad shit. 

I don’t want to do anything. I have to walk my (big) dogs as they are so cooped up and going crazy. My house which I hate is tiny, less than 600 square feet and no yard. Walks are dreaded and stressful. I hate my area. I hate the stress of existence. 

Nothing brings joy, everything is shrouded in shit. I don’t even want to go back to work because I hateeeee my job. I can now go to the store or whatever and I don’t care or want to. I have almost no groceries left my house is dirty I’ve got nothing but time and I don’t care. I spend hours scrolling, picking (excoriation disorder yay), smoking cigarettes and just feeling half dead inside/half being torn apart by emotions and thoughts. 

What is the point or anything?  Everything sucks now and the foreseeable future is the same.",1.4938632877216662,3.958364733509239,2.7297637602012657,91.19015647051607,83.72295514511873,5.741940234398968,23.32582683929557,7.121374137718711,0.9042603055777136,1490,55,307,21,43,478,195,379,0.266,0.647,0.087,-0.9982,2,1,1,0,0,0,47.0,0,0,1,4,15,25,7,5,15,1,37,9,4,3,1,51,70,22,1,7,13,0,2,0,0,2,4,0,4,0,9,17,0,1,5,1,3,8,11,18,0,5,12,4,47,8,42,53,5,45,0,4,2,1,12,15,3,6,17,199,56,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0851420185893901,0.0,0.0,0.06799586968347206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08915797204464466,0.065045239083624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2099093375214873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19614099139664687,0.14198758695930022,0.1554945721035893,0.0,0.07235151070160369,0.0,0.0,0.07519926007007129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17338089821146951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2629765698086046,0.07323342426104545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09744803395041668,0.0,0.0,0.08701189669180824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956436613169382,0.07530847255769414,0.0,0.0,0.1123187468586621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1528331396300205,0.0,0.0801556626479802,0.0,0.0859841697933313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07232371907827337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14496800236981805,0.0,0.2040110032355717,0.0,0.09366656273511667,0.0,0.07518888353917924,0.0,0.0,0.25183896866206823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10075712062624424,0.0,0.0,0.2558663204358356,0.0,0.08373423179398704,0.1962189315005217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08874584735649024,0.08437593999027493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0900310625154408,0.092381824110236,0.0,0.12011383101705153,0.0,0.08521915139124465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07228671122426797,0.07673997105254204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08585278973927303,0.0,0.0,0.09036999033908713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16317093984258185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05761633345087836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08037777178684577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08742167102074902,0.0,0.18257384088344306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06775531969754285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17455749565117928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09062721356377666,0.0,0.0,0.19479573384327725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987226224224211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06750175028640798,0.04957978783720866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09248469941717613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3009059179987527,0.06749028484568242,0.13640667713801602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061900494336000624,0.0,0.0,0.06040057114975096,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Cunt19999,2020/04/13,"Which medication works best for you? At 16, I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety. For a while a combination of Lexapro and Buspar really helped me. At 18, I got a DUI. At 19 I started smoking meth and having sex with a new guy damn near every day. (I stopped smoking meth after a month of starting). My psychiatrist put me on Abilify as she believed I might be bipolar. I was on Abilify for about two months and gained 60lbs. I tried to kill myself at 19 and spent 5 days in the psych unit. They put me on Latuda. After a month of Latuda I stopped taking my medication all together. Surprisingly enough I found a great boy friend, started going back to college, and even quit my horrible job of four years for a much better one. I’m 21 now. I started to see a new psychiatrist about 5 months ago. She told me I showed signs of Bipolar. I told her I didn’t want to hear it I just wanted to manage my ADHD symptoms. I currently take Vyvanse for ADHD and Gabapentin for anxiety. I’m starting to believe I have Bipolar as my symptoms gradually worsen. I’m really afraid to talk to my psychiatrist about this because I’m terrified of putting on more weight and possibly losing my Vyvanse script. I’m only 5’5” and weigh 200 lbs. My question is does anyone currently take an ADHD medication and take a medication for bipolar that has helped them and not caused significant weight gain? Sorry about the lengthy post and I hope I didn’t break any rules.",4.021487043580681,6.10283630035336,5.311930212014133,77.9809459658422,72.92226148409894,8.532921083627798,29.812868080094226,9.188382445141503,2.807308716136633,1175,51,214,27,24,391,158,283,0.127,0.78,0.09300000000000001,-0.7752,4,0,2,0,0,1,28.0,0,1,2,7,8,11,2,1,13,0,10,15,0,1,1,28,35,15,1,3,2,0,2,0,1,1,11,1,0,2,4,14,3,2,2,1,1,4,3,5,0,3,9,4,37,6,41,24,6,40,0,2,1,1,16,10,1,3,24,131,41,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3058184242703624,0.0,0.07518952182568059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05768182010366831,0.0,0.12977708639489127,0.0,0.0,0.059309464672647534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06522282733441646,0.0,0.05170666037494473,0.0,0.0,0.1911305340076117,0.08901538094974057,0.07501810284991738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08713548592934316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094062535847104,0.0,0.07305700279693635,0.08609247202321818,0.0,0.0,0.09721327878230104,0.0,0.07422824130704803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0876437265560077,0.0,0.056024083853787834,0.0,0.07146613317016512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09300286658150853,0.06553321161260607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048206256735294335,0.0,0.0678398449177118,0.09351647570943128,0.0,0.08398704498085123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09560047818197363,0.0,0.11370870151807025,0.0,0.0,0.08424731399582616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08417267587940112,0.0,0.09384289656178957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09489404147426732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3417966773077816,0.0,0.08998266192733828,0.0,0.0,0.2708162165831833,0.0,0.062353877244001835,0.0,0.0,0.16384309436688602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05747753401596775,0.06451089890914317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09562397974730784,0.08123596063491463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2558083985965341,0.09501997242220236,0.09021856198458368,0.0,0.0,0.10867819887855827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06759209514778519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09495120457403723,0.3001869881322527,0.0,0.0,0.14182986073828374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17632492306630165,0.2551021362977914,0.06817665319670832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621019754480965,0.0,0.057588521649593764,0.0,0.08285869911639662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10006034227617472,0.0,0.0,0.20658051570468225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06175137423203132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05462254101067676
bipolarreddit,squarekin,2020/04/13,"Haldol and Seroquel? Okay so i am currently on 250 mg of seroquel and 40 mg of fluoxetine a day. I told my psych I'd like to get off of the seroquel. Which she agreed to but said it had to be weaned off. So she prescribed 10 mg of haldol to take WITH the seroquel. I googled the interaction of course and it says it is not good to combine the two. She says it is safe, but now I'm having second thoughts. Suggestions?!",0.9440229885057472,3.03581903448276,2.6926436781609238,92.9750574712644,82.79310344827587,5.705747126436782,23.459770114942533,6.937597516519254,0.6760942528735631,324,12,73,4,9,107,54,87,0.035,0.86,0.105,0.6301,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,5,1,6,0,0,0,0,9,12,7,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,5,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,4,3,7,4,14,7,0,6,0,0,0,0,9,3,0,0,4,48,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2262044178237484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18325214285487346,0.0,0.0,0.2941920486443322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17135849404141146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3336431058082507,0.5578601784326045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2637199809705428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27845593264797514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3351561888180826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34263130636760936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,madcatoutofhell,2020/04/13,"I am hallucinating and I know it Long time lurker on a brand new account. 'sup. 

I am hallucinating and I know it. I will text someone I used to see before the Corona-tine and when I look away from my phone - there they are. They don't say or do anything, they don't last longer than three seconds, but there they are, with a bloom or aura around them. People, my pets - I've fed my cat and looked up to see my cat eating *and* standing two feet away, looking at me.

On one hand, I ought to be scared that I am losing my mind more than usual. On the other hand, I've been through and seen much in my life, so... what's some hallucinations more?  I have contacted my psychiatrist and we're switching up meds but my body is a finicky thing and what works for my brain doesn't inherently work for my body. Currently on round three with Vraylar, praying for a good result.

Has anyone been through this? Any advice? Anything I should absolutely not do?",1.6339893617021275,3.976776760638305,2.8260000000000005,91.544,81.92553191489361,5.4621276595744686,20.57021276595745,6.742157984588678,0.22066936170212734,733,21,158,8,20,235,117,188,0.04,0.8690000000000001,0.091,0.8862,2,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,5,3,5,3,0,1,6,0,19,9,6,2,0,24,29,14,0,2,5,0,3,0,0,3,1,1,1,0,8,11,2,0,2,0,1,0,4,2,0,5,4,10,27,1,24,21,4,19,1,1,7,0,8,11,0,3,7,110,35,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477862189400956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10284577054530232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10574783500113423,0.0,0.2489089364872161,0.13463224061563756,0.0,0.0,0.2841826893624305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12869082763030587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33597854576141273,0.0,0.16882956419788436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15475234126280654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12684971027493086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16623086968450546,0.12327765039088552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10682256786027583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13383923679697365,0.3810008376340414,0.16919457114977968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16798927288070634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15270540253795675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11117597433855478,0.0,0.0,0.1460648195428342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10248153169043454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10484810648701696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12026905950413498,0.15141377309715026,0.0,0.24103126759009014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281419021512266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10047458033431196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08818701736332826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14773574657824004,0.0,0.0,0.1306194788534456,0.1665652566891189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22020344204501624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ev0164,2020/04/13,"Anyone else had olanzapine/Zyprexa fuck up their life? Pls tell me I’m not the only one, been on it nearly two years and had enough. Hunger and weight gain has been insane and the lethargy, constant drowsiness and need to sleep 12+ hours is ruining my life. I’ve realised I’m emotionally numb and hollow, have experienced no real emotions for two years and have lost my personality. I used to be a very talkative person but now I run blank and have nothing to share more often than not. I haven’t been able to feel the feeling of love or happiness in this time, have gone from being very empathetic to being able to feel no empathy at all and this is ruining all my relationships. On top of that I’m foggy, slow, have no memory and can’t think straight, Zyprexa has made me stupider. The only reason I stayed on so long is the constant placid state is pleasant and calming, I just struggle to feel anything else. 
Has anyone else had any of these experiences with Zyprexa, and were you able to get off it as I’ve heard some horror stories??",6.269686468646867,6.5139950940594105,6.5136138613861405,78.34520627062706,65.88118811881188,9.505610561056104,31.684818481848183,9.2995712137729,2.6167610561056107,827,30,160,14,12,266,124,202,0.162,0.6990000000000001,0.14,0.2376,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,1,3,4,12,2,1,6,0,24,8,1,3,2,31,41,15,0,1,5,0,5,0,0,0,3,1,0,2,6,12,2,0,6,0,0,2,7,7,0,3,11,7,12,5,24,27,5,23,0,3,0,2,9,10,1,3,9,102,18,0,0.35039249164970576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07942630326410594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16333505146180013,0.23934567677604845,0.09611438841751543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2524332028401108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2927079653908318,0.2627629277105927,0.0,0.12068303656373597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11425036396037913,0.0,0.0,0.2362252958593003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10797740412692124,0.06102187165673431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124333107627673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11502200769414132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16499505279283164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10336210963376828,0.0,0.0,0.12749826532487352,0.0,0.10541430131669907,0.11051661591165517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0866038642503721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11207034862521706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07914500685693326,0.17765951945999126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2039661389600526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13294112205874395,0.0,0.12008727973432445,0.0,0.1253968017674722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11688184697222788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12449059163136512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12210210354620105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020861606253586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07483912014014098,0.0,0.0,0.06810555988757308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281883668809436,0.0,0.0,0.1008755370746466,0.0,0.19274033445421926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14222788618083168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504275177022082
bipolarreddit,Lysseana,2020/04/13,"I have doubts about my mental health since a long time Hey everyone, I'm new here and I search some answers here or some advices. I'm French, 21yo F and I'm wondering if I have a mood disorder since I was at least 13yo. I want also specify that I'm in 3rd year of psychology so I have a bit of knowledge. 

I did a lot of test online since I'm a kid, even if I know it's just an indication and nothing serious as a therapist diagnosis. The tests said that I had probably bipolar type 2 or a mood disorder. Personally, I'd add to this that I could have a depressive persistant disorder. 

Actually I take some antidepressants since January but I felt like my psychiatrist was not really attentive to my inner feelings and concerns. I had a moment 2 years ago where I had extra energy, I didn't sleep much and felt very motivated during few days. Also, my friends can relate my mood swings. 

So if you had to give 3 or 5 things that are for you indicative of   bipolar disorder, which ones would you choose? 

Ps: hope y'all are okay in these crazy time! And sorry if I made some mistakes in the text.",3.0929292929292918,4.763290636363639,5.106666666666668,80.21944444444446,74.45454545454545,9.434343434343434,27.222222222222207,9.861636050157227,2.6969191919191915,860,33,176,25,18,297,133,220,0.098,0.79,0.11199999999999999,0.7134,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,4,0,2,10,11,0,1,12,1,17,4,1,2,0,39,33,19,0,9,10,0,3,1,1,1,3,1,0,2,9,7,0,0,10,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,12,4,25,4,14,19,10,15,0,1,0,0,10,6,0,15,10,111,34,4,0.0,0.0,0.11704140760803182,0.0,0.0,0.11720124529826713,0.1063170926179012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19182747356785607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13094036067958628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09576009609521384,0.0,0.0,0.07734957287207055,0.0,0.10330173598863478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5498336956018642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07921739049924208,0.0,0.0,0.11460513592050645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06064385283645245,0.0,0.2303170443933631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092663184435711,0.0,0.0,0.11505469256677885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12748763677978714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11912470338180099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06591434936817456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05859525843757804,0.0,0.0,0.10614064920852502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10196631980170924,0.0,0.11348748011002292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1208684896775462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08816764332409396,0.0,0.0,0.11583609667709223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11508297965524608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08127255180039038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10472453823980138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12931258882390884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07683484250974472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11408774406027465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3968531702270768,0.0,0.12002381880826808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342598777830148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09017784923102627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392563352115611,0.07968094738776274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13987269351970458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989607521562989,0.07074206896685946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13006677895200272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08519994684712905,0.0,0.0,0.1544712510639686
bipolarreddit,bubblescum1402,2020/04/13,"rapid cycling and mixed episodes hello you guys and good morning from the us eastern timezone. is this the part where i say sorry for the mobile format? 

anyway, i'm here to vent about my illness and hopefully gain some direction, support, and see if others can relate.

official diagnosis is bipolar I rapid cycling (with psychotic features). luckily, my delusions come on only as a consequence of abusing stimulants or psychedelics while manic OR quitting weed cold turkey after longterm use. one is more severe and the other mild, respectively.

this is the way my cycle has gone for the last 3 years now:
weed > hypomania > more weed or other drugs + st*rving to somehow gain control over myself/situation > mania > depression > mixed episode > baseline. over and over like a goddamn merry-go-round. 

i'd like to state that i am on 150mg of Lamictal. i'm aware that sobering up would stop drug use from cancelling out my medication. quitting is fcking hard. if i put all the cbt/dbt shit i've learned over the years together that'd likely help a fuckton too. 

but i'm here to vent. the rapid cycling sucks either way, and i was bipolar long before the drug use, and during my periods of sobriety. so what the fuck?

TL;DR rapid cycling is the worst and feels like one big mixed episode with the constant overlapping

edit: typo + adding detail",5.532631578947368,7.420886397590365,5.728281547241597,77.33556753329108,68.55823293172689,8.133671528218139,32.78397801733249,8.6894789155246,2.9166016064257025,1079,49,179,18,19,342,156,249,0.13,0.782,0.087,-0.9032,0,0,3,0,0,0,46.0,1,1,0,5,9,13,3,0,16,0,12,9,1,5,1,33,26,18,0,4,7,0,2,4,0,1,7,1,0,1,9,13,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,5,0,2,2,5,12,8,24,22,7,27,0,1,1,1,6,11,3,8,14,105,21,2,0.0,0.15413091866182987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11069380615002528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11205777431712503,0.0,0.14057700791888572,0.1459027759457832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11204308507514056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4525762048672013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06577550994289677,0.09293363350973473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12026262967178115,0.0,0.0,0.07393100617006354,0.10911016346633076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12880582648805006,0.0,0.0,0.11653171656588253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08719406237746159,0.0,0.0,0.12920498525819987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10603764531067253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542142574193992,0.0,0.0,0.11512222592764372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13104819773554302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17629960132803088,0.09893644494068987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14087071756336653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307725979696175,0.0,0.2767254507796327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034497967239853,0.0,0.0,0.10366188834902318,0.0,0.0,0.14696041992557915,0.1335316526101039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.145620891698038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10875791877928816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14762031984536628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564777256858822,0.3370582240676108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20651279939486786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09240953021390257,0.0,0.0,0.1675425428138767
bipolarreddit,AllTheGoodDays,2020/04/13,"Crazy cocaine like energy after taking a break from weed... how’re you dealing with it in quarantine? I have to look for a job. No time to fuck about, I jumped off weed because I know sober me is the guy that gets things done like a freight train and I didn’t even touch my Adderall prescription.",2.087175141242941,4.41074859322034,2.4450000000000003,95.04738700564974,80.01694915254237,5.967231638418079,21.69774011299436,7.1686216300943375,0.5206587570621468,233,7,50,3,6,71,51,59,0.13699999999999998,0.743,0.12,-0.25,1,1,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,2,3,1,0,4,0,4,1,0,0,0,3,9,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,2,2,7,2,9,7,0,6,0,0,1,1,3,2,1,0,4,30,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19968467408118445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3377120495128004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33521958992589845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21635802513483315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3028347675898537,0.17114269851628747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3243474937741226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3250643771544751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18002484514409914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3200699825612369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27507773546120384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24629315921127504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2176240887138769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910096984354881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,foolproofapricot,2020/04/13,"Antidepressant triggered mania I was diagnosed major depression/anxiety up until a few years ago when my mental health took a turn for the worst and I tried to kill myself, after it’s been a series of bad lows for a few days, baseline anywhere from 1-2 days and then 2-4 days hypomania. (Repeat cycle.) I’ve been dx bipolar 2 rapid cycling. I never recognized hypomania because I didn’t know about bipolar at the time. I went on Lexapro and 2 weeks in on 10mg, I felt vibration in my body, and 0 hunger, I barely slept and if I did it was for 1 hour and instantly jump back awake. It was like this 4 days and calmed down but would come back while I was taking them. I have NEVER experienced such strong hypomania/mania like that. I realized for a while after stopping Lexapro, my hypomania was getting more intense and longer. It’s been waxing and waning a lot lately. Sometimes it’s very mild and only a few days, other times it’s full on for a week. 

My question is if the antidepressant triggered strong hypomania/mania in the past, if I’m currently un-medicated, will it eventually reach there organically without any drugs?",4.820697004608295,6.322835940092169,6.1214948156682025,75.33081365207373,69.78341013824885,8.927304147465438,29.69153225806452,9.354420925462401,2.722557834101384,897,35,163,19,16,302,130,217,0.11199999999999999,0.838,0.05,-0.9045,1,0,1,0,0,1,28.0,0,0,1,2,6,9,1,0,12,0,14,9,2,2,2,27,24,19,1,4,5,0,1,2,0,2,6,0,0,0,10,11,1,1,4,0,0,4,4,4,0,0,14,2,17,5,22,8,8,43,0,1,0,0,2,11,0,5,30,106,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284782564002615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09856239929406913,0.0,0.11087671111526456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2228958219164813,0.12101667149689495,0.08835249125077486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609927729939577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12485073289193918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.467363149762963,0.0,0.0,0.14710840588101115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16808136460993195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13916262923624456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07572380726197693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540616742119133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14273413949858038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16035175424790232,0.0,0.0796538023195985,0.0,0.1634956955490413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14161818108474444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12322059094258253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609927729939577,0.0,0.14606280537894847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22356930957534527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11023142067422273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13835914434839558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16236305383492827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14334679053670374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12117415279879434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10897488399882316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16902832215329028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16103077972937005,0.09840297784260507,0.1576502668654499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11958853064948208,0.0,0.0,0.2325200729261785,0.0,0.0,0.13435841801993062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397144774977694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10295936755583364,0.0,0.0,0.0933349309691531
bipolarreddit,vronhubbard,2020/04/13,"Had to hospitalize my boyfriend against his will yesterday This was the hardest thing I have ever done, and I don’t know if I did the right thing. Apologies for the long post!

Background: boyfriend is diagnosed BP1 borderline schizophrenic, and this is the first episode he has had since we have been together. It’s his fourth manic episode in 10 years, he was hospitalized the first two times but not the third time. He had been hypomanic for at least two weeks prior, but having never experienced this with him I didn’t recognize the signs. 

So 2 weeks of hypomania followed by 5 1/2 weeks of full blown psychotic/manic episode. This episode was the first time he was “aware” he was manic and having lucid moments. I was able to stay home with him due to COVID, and really thought we could manage it at home. Every time he would be lucid it would give me hope that he was improving, but no improvement would stick for more than a few hours. His doctor was very little help, and would say things like “you can up his lithium if you want to”. The only new med he added was clonazepam for sleep, and he doubled his perphenazine and lithium. We would have to argue every night to get him to take the clonazepam, and it kept getting worse. The night before last he took out his pocket knife and flipped it open 6 inches from me and said “do you have any idea how dangerous I could be”. I gave him some time to calm down then tried to give him the clonazepam and he was running away from me. I called 911 and the officers came out, they said they could commit him if I wanted. I told them no thinking that maybe the threat of hospitalization would be enough. He was on his best behavior the rest of the night and slept. When we woke up the next morning, he was fuming. Didn’t want to take his morning meds (this had never happened) and I blocked the door to get him to take them. He pushed his chest up against mine and got right in my face and asked if I wanted to continue breathing. He eventually took the pills, but was outside screaming for hours after and I finally called again. The officers took him on an involuntary hold. 

He’s been calling all day crying and wanting to come home, and he doesn’t understand that I can’t come visit because of COVID. 

I’m hoping the second opinion from a different doctor and the lack of things to stimulate him will help. I never thought he would actually hurt me but I was so worried he wasn’t going to be willing to take his meds because it kept getting harder and harder and taking more fighting to get them to take him. After 5 1/2 weeks he still thought he was god and fully delusional. I feel awful that I can’t even visit and like it was selfish of me to do this to him. It feels hopeless.",5.534544449358691,6.203463560150375,5.417616099071207,84.09007739938083,67.53383458646616,8.439274657231312,29.36886333480761,8.405096225971981,1.9265077841662976,2162,73,431,29,34,672,241,532,0.107,0.805,0.087,-0.9485,2,0,0,0,2,1,47.0,4,3,5,4,9,15,5,0,25,1,61,10,5,2,6,88,109,38,0,22,10,0,2,2,0,10,5,4,4,0,22,36,0,4,9,0,0,12,13,9,0,7,44,7,59,6,57,48,12,72,0,2,0,0,72,19,0,8,41,291,81,3,0.06550197771337575,0.0,0.06392048147437472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044543591003620125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061235507044975525,0.0,0.06154126425497005,0.0,0.0,0.07985879529339457,0.0,0.055737358585462575,0.0,0.06874028445930612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006545284165126,0.07491681257813297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11284830771718858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15689399777908375,0.0,0.0719508467822238,0.04224335678171297,0.0,0.0,0.06648312857327743,0.0,0.06843562532518771,0.0,0.1340880994921756,0.0,0.06703126500170015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06768105276025528,0.0,0.04326343851582,0.05925028890074412,0.11037648260130536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06623953609220186,0.0,0.0,0.07175421487362682,0.0,0.16714784634388974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17111039930403898,0.12567093125510195,0.037226283428180205,0.0,0.05238791529692728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05792318256833477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08780918987768781,0.0,0.1971114730539957,0.1301164869984742,0.1290125073580875,0.0,0.07012122188629494,0.07394375991027151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03599817392656456,0.053392854268907976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0640019153561236,0.06565018965578202,0.0,0.05796718904930573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06580554067728225,0.0,0.21827379262711485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15155748984417974,0.06326221824423651,0.06966209640191058,0.18440750657502955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0498172056831822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0627327882304064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0419622441971862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11187666214099426,0.12461476121477455,0.05208980173455409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054183912843265306,0.0,0.0655492824583146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06981639292700427,0.05230996401425585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29549601251250895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1740664137744221,0.04197102246479272,0.0,0.15600376098752886,0.19097364978810336,0.0,0.0,0.06258994673071773,0.2183253221096472,0.044471543204641216,0.0,0.12797182883270605,0.06818986885093918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054045991535587146,0.193173817765362,0.0,0.21016694201312644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0665204379095952,0.06675211128044123,0.3257150793682122,0.0,0.0,0.04218112608071672
bipolarreddit,iamstillhome,2020/04/14,"Explain bipolar disorder or just let it go? I told a friend of mine that I was bipolar. He responded by saying that bipolar was in his family, too. I'm not 100% sure, but it didn't sound like this was based on a medical diagnosis (and it seemed like it would be rude to ask outright). I think he had some idea about what bipolar was that was oversimplified or sugar-coated or maybe pop-culture inspired.

What made me think that wasn't what he said so much as that he seemed kind of excited about it. Bipolar does run in my family, and trust me, no one is excited about it.

Then he recommended some supplement to me that he said really helped him. I think he was genuinely trying to be helpful. I was too embarrassed for him to say much.

I've had this disorder for years, and I still don't know how to respond to this kind of thing. I don't want to minimize his family issues, whatever they are, because I don't know his story particularly well. And, short of me sharing the story of my own journey in excrutiating detail, I think people generally aren't receptive to the idea that it's different than what they thought.

If it were a one-off encounter, I'd probably let it go. It might come up again, though, so now I'm not sure what to say.

Has anyone figured out how to handle this kind of encounter gracefully?",4.125297570850203,5.3981489346153895,5.4499190283400845,80.36244939271258,71.19230769230771,9.319838056680162,28.684210526315788,9.682069395223575,2.6156538461538457,1033,39,207,25,19,346,136,260,0.095,0.7809999999999999,0.12300000000000001,0.8953,1,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,2,0,15,17,1,1,5,0,25,6,0,3,2,39,46,16,0,3,8,0,0,2,1,2,6,6,0,0,27,6,0,0,14,0,0,5,9,2,1,1,17,6,23,15,30,23,5,17,0,0,0,0,28,7,0,9,7,141,50,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07696633199716026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029043736847546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06710011649654563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09481904361870212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11500394953275407,0.2523087851353246,0.0,0.0963265390361608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31130404141430584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08504293454097099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12511523348616946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14756062494089486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24852039833274145,0.0,0.11488870541869595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3438755393675379,0.12098763349790663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22511633863798092,0.0,0.10755323720124198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10415472337789593,0.0,0.0,0.11058417371164724,0.0,0.0,0.11088802051407326,0.0,0.11677116747070775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1618341775215956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14917804400589166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07631148356906604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11867843840727164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07051625218595264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20941124804050765,0.2626058972086433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20041455395224209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08790527496417172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20748697051493026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07312830477525199,0.2821240151715305,0.10814719087580546,0.08738649677600202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10518046764201876,0.0,0.07473305147791054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06492452398520167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09896978631032534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.078193443779623,0.0,0.0,0.07088407641445303
bipolarreddit,lemonsqu33ze,2020/04/14,"a friend? hey I’m just looking for someone I can talk to that doesn’t mind some heavy stuff hahaha. I wish I could go to people I love bad sadly I feel like I only ever burden them and cause trouble. thanks :,)",-0.4219696969696969,1.8131092272727287,1.7518181818181835,95.56439393939397,93.0909090909091,3.8424242424242414,14.151515151515152,5.46131890053228,-0.9259121212121212,162,3,35,1,6,54,37,44,0.209,0.456,0.335,0.802,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,0,2,8,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,1,1,9,10,1,0,2,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,0,2,7,4,3,9,1,2,0,1,1,1,5,0,0,1,2,20,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22661384850262925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2788101700338721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21669673020495667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455035383807772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372317400728532,0.1938935060922471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20968868971927654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15424708422424502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13259594994884494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22791386653246698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449557816512755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2740441119417075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064175634308273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18815972292704064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22996261555857814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31069654784520395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2181469933561645,0.0,0.24987547601925994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3121051241716408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Nucleus_of_Confusion,2020/04/14,"Experiencing severe anhedonia; long-term Hi all.. I don't really know what to say here. I thought I'd give this a go to see if anyone could relate. I'm  a 26 yr old female and was diagnosed with BP 4 years ago, think I'm BP II.. was also diagnosed with borderline personality traits half a year or so ago. I finished my Master's in December, and that was whilst I was going through some really emotionally troubling times. Now, it's like my life isn't going anywhere. I've constantly felt lethargic and sort of brain dead for the past several months, and it's like I have no energy for life. I'm just biding away time and counting down the days, but to nothing..? I barely do anything, I feel like nothing holds my interest. I don't have a passion for anything. I don't enjoy anything. I used to be really artistic as a kid and used to read a lot of books, but having a dysfunctional family life I sort of lost all my hobbies, things that defined me... I just feel like a hollow shell, a shadow..  
I can't bring myself to look forward to the future, I feel like I'm worth nothing and even though I've made it through uni, in my head I've somehow blagged my way through.   
Everything feels worthless.",4.084683731233079,5.171231472803349,5.494614816637952,80.70922717204037,71.09205020920501,8.636081713019937,29.121585035687914,9.007467420416297,2.3280620723603245,938,36,187,18,17,316,139,239,0.121,0.8029999999999999,0.076,-0.8795,0,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,0,2,9,11,0,0,12,0,15,8,2,3,2,35,38,15,1,2,6,0,5,5,0,0,5,1,0,2,8,9,0,1,8,3,1,5,6,3,0,1,8,9,22,8,23,28,4,25,0,2,2,1,5,5,0,7,21,106,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1938720760469763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08745063852786558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07646310793130845,0.0,0.2699679507691823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10274201665072367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12207562631537695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11817320937216877,0.0,0.08731055456510448,0.0,0.0,0.0705245125915447,0.0,0.0,0.22198473773850805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12300893116368578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07222752041531165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09828064344996887,0.0,0.10308955400998293,0.0,0.22117139134240646,0.23436832010535796,0.10499733026471653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049026622042534,0.18644580078709228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11222911740237528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06009829388027321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2317206456958344,0.26712507180359096,0.0,0.0,0.09677516337371048,0.09183011696210508,0.0,0.1193731968164889,0.09296916243690978,0.0,0.10347373518454107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08728560320195597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3147853600119677,0.0,0.11474900064007228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10439110596013708,0.0,0.0954840051664124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10938394827053956,0.0,0.2101656007982088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08696297259951466,0.0,0.0,0.08714126312072241,0.0,0.0,0.24707859030984794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07265017463830836,0.07006985542350765,0.1074400989865235,0.08681514321052633,0.1275308081100671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18889410472365986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08680039731320753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408412391456933
bipolarreddit,ISDesign,2020/04/14,"Stupid question: I just changed meds. Is it possible to go in and out of mania by the days/week as you adjust to medication or is that just considered rapid cycling? I am coming off of a multi-month depression (long story with psychiatrists, no drama, just complicated). New psych, (I like her) changed my dosing, but same meds. It’s been about 4...5 weeks? This quarantine has me off. But I will go several days of thinking I can do anything and get everything accomplished while looking for new challenges, and then 16 hours later, go back to feeling really tired and slightly unmotivated. Nowhere near depressed like previously but I usually don't have quick changes. I'm one, or the other for a few months. Has anyone else experienced this with a med change? I'm absolutely feeling happier and more myself but I don't feel reliable to myself and that feels weird.",5.095384615384617,7.259464547169816,5.87811320754717,74.70378809869378,70.19496855345912,9.420609579100145,31.72762457668118,9.851270322608157,3.441934300919208,689,31,119,18,13,225,111,159,0.091,0.7709999999999999,0.138,0.8299,0,1,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,1,0,2,6,7,1,0,5,0,12,3,0,0,0,27,25,15,0,0,9,0,4,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,7,10,0,0,7,1,0,4,3,4,0,1,1,6,13,3,19,23,3,22,0,2,1,0,3,5,0,3,15,80,20,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08632023317042826,0.1264907589812367,0.1015901528175464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094926664649831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5223817193642081,0.10634262724726652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07961607284655359,0.0,0.21265737436583296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031279756845393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11095034309045332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2496833647993448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06449836875506379,0.0,0.2104811775640522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12157496428390505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12062443762797645,0.0,0.0,0.1092507863403824,0.10366825679329884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.411380711625096,0.12436450507911953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.197075787910244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2384606603208235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08365400304494236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13917313659852762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13829405172687145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07908625983658334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394651754551159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07910280424134829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14188946040597192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13596450268076662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19805086337857036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Mr_Evolved,2020/04/14,"Experience with Buspirone? So I've been relatively stable for coming on a year now, but the whole COVID-19 situation has me all out of whack (taking away coping mechanisms, among other general concerns) and has me experiencing some pretty problematic anxiety. Currently I'm on lamotrigine and bupropion, and my doctor called in an Rx for buspirone to help balance me out.

Does anyone have any experience with this? I'm worried it may make me cycle down hard the other way or just end up knocking me out, and I'm hoping someone may have insight.",7.883605442176872,8.787060897959186,8.720816326530613,61.6301360544218,62.46938775510204,11.431292517006804,37.76190476190476,11.20814326018867,4.768994557823128,440,21,67,12,6,149,74,98,0.095,0.7809999999999999,0.124,0.6381,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,4,0,7,2,0,1,1,21,14,7,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,4,10,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,6,1,16,11,3,16,0,0,0,0,2,10,0,5,4,49,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15124033041485208,0.0,0.17013618321478674,0.0,0.0,0.15550797491649815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20895309359573094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22709632289924225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19157879911969186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276368834996717,0.1946246446664635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19698130509181813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4351017757411765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19922764355347625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1490707259040103,0.0,0.0,0.22089440975324276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14845441799032022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2262618074473156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2499880818399061,0.0,0.0,0.1884396754342212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16721790034482187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17653158985180906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24830281343871285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258590468821922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14321897498564182
bipolarreddit,gingerspice-x,2020/04/14,"Finally changing medications So I spoke with my psychiatrist and he is taking me off seroquel and putting me on lithium.
I’m so scared but I’m so relieved to be trying this. I really hope it helps me.",0.7433333333333323,3.280508000000001,3.5300000000000047,81.62833333333334,94.0,6.666666666666668,26.66666666666667,7.793537801064563,2.3161666666666667,160,8,30,4,6,56,31,40,0.05,0.6809999999999999,0.26899999999999996,0.9055,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,5,7,6,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,6,2,4,5,0,4,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,1,20,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3689890645887758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3820984391862068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2337964010724733,0.0,0.0,0.3464417155289848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35138398375074953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3506450087373952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22345318725504548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3492142991302055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2622576837835276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368154578323028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,throwaway_co223,2020/04/14,"Do you ever look at your meds and think bad thoughts? As I was getting my multiple meds ready for the night I looked at what I had and what each were for and had a really bad thought...I thought to myself “if I took all these right now, I would die. And if I died I wouldn’t be a burden and no one would miss me.” I do not plan to do anything but that dark, horrible, honest thought crept into my mind. At this moment I am on 5 meds. 

1 - Blood Pressure for anxiety
2 - Bipolar Med
3 - Depression Med
4 - Sleep Aide 
5 - Oxy (I broke my foot)

And as I look at all those I just think that I could take them all and not feel anything anymore. Am I alone?",2.1256521739130463,2.8477067826087006,3.4731594202898566,94.74104347826088,75.3768115942029,6.969275362318841,23.94492753623189,7.1686216300943375,0.5820701449275365,488,14,121,5,10,160,86,138,0.25,0.7070000000000001,0.044000000000000004,-0.9779,0,1,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,2,1,1,3,8,0,1,3,0,14,4,3,0,4,30,27,12,2,6,6,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,7,9,0,0,6,0,0,1,4,7,0,1,8,4,22,1,13,14,4,12,0,3,3,0,3,7,0,2,4,80,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12171160438361502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08989976502385483,0.0,0.11654474393879675,0.0,0.0,0.1934120558281384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19624265947481026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09382732546114177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012167489229474,0.0,0.2439270498853977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063003598426618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05941984970071267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061397496472333515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2960526701813593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6526714364592588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11865811753386585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11028123052390988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07963219002256057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07528404908605467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10035840891430853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11760132215422175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08835774768618021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15059959617904498,0.0,0.37317974842987706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13056510347090802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16696063325059896,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,swinty22,2020/04/14,"Years ago I stayed up for 2 days and hallucinated a rabbit. It's so crazy to me that it took as long as it did to find out i had a mood disorder. I completely forgot about this but about 10 years before my diagnosis this happened and i brushed it off as ""of course im seeing things i stayed awake for 48 hours"" buuuuut..... nothing about that statement makes sense. 

Anyone else with weird memories of being certifiable but not realizing it? I did a lot of dumb and regrettable things im ashamed of now but this one is so innocent",2.0481558441558434,4.4509844476190485,3.97844155844156,83.54064935064937,80.71428571428571,7.627705627705628,23.831168831168828,8.575989854853784,1.7384285714285717,417,15,86,10,11,141,70,105,0.17600000000000002,0.7859999999999999,0.039,-0.9304,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,6,4,1,1,3,0,5,0,0,1,0,15,10,11,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,12,5,0,1,3,0,0,1,1,3,0,1,5,2,8,0,18,4,1,13,0,0,1,0,0,3,1,1,7,58,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17059924967932616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345686197538813,0.19719231775149104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16376455413020194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2017848195166895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12411719291851432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2205694625585896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16077099002362938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17589987222998504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1701868263556305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18952885713377815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4157676426935925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703161238666347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16361788328102622,0.0,0.0,0.1284648336270227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846652264147826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13041210980534498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533612721091593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41026165390090497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25571635761231065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21382396497911574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24786869993943675
bipolarreddit,Funny-Tangelo,2020/04/14,"Looking for help from similar situation I've been having a hard time lately with the isolation.
I'm a medical professional in primary care. I'm pretty sure my clinic is going to close. I see a minimum amount of patients with telehealth.
I'm usually high functioning. I have a kid, a good marriage, a good career.
Lately I just want to tune out. I took my evening meds (lithium, Ambien) and did not go to sleep. Instead I drank 8 beers, a few shots and had a melt down on the phone to my parents. It was bad and I felt so much shame the next day. I haven't had a binge like that in years.
Besides that, I feel aways unsteady and on the brink. I'm terrified I will fuck up. It's a balance between managing the feeling I'm going to rip my skin off and getting so fucked up my functioning us compromised.
I have a lot of memory loss with Ambien. This is disturbing. 
I'm not sure if there is a better med or coping strategy.
Any help would be great.",1.7021628289473654,3.841341140625005,3.90001096491228,85.10003289473686,80.30208333333334,7.792105263157895,25.209429824561404,8.6894789155246,2.0159541666666665,737,29,151,18,19,253,122,192,0.158,0.684,0.159,-0.4223,1,1,1,0,0,0,25.0,1,0,0,2,6,14,2,2,17,0,15,8,2,0,2,23,36,9,0,3,5,1,5,1,0,2,2,0,0,1,5,10,2,0,3,1,0,4,3,6,0,0,8,7,16,8,23,25,4,24,0,1,2,2,7,13,2,3,8,94,21,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09655310526076516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13339742107922492,0.0,0.11854962445146405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12557216065500582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447608260003669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09156709600672533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09377823473237984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14358143913935534,0.0,0.13632565851935882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2625214378109497,0.07418010098858771,0.0,0.24207612237747375,0.2381767060236665,0.0,0.15653642874931206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271886115701317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19033602280592665,0.15001251866598667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3203253414099571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06936557573196289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11922970931933835,0.0,0.0,0.12070861477383665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31542154550702856,0.1430326336034743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10437362174315416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15100021293821153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15765498659204522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14444745029997832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11314182988453793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15959450441305648,0.1420852388944329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26763403020067805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08279125456465634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15774800468324784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17078770705645072,0.0,0.1563738856407981,0.0,0.08374507550954763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10086043688466104,0.0,0.0,0.09143220415610524
bipolarreddit,galactictesticle,2020/04/14,"Does anyone else constantly question their diagnose? I constantly feel like a fraud or something because I feel like I’m not as “stereotypical “ ? 
And I know it’s in my head but it makes me weirdly nervous",3.647368421052629,6.460944526315793,4.572894736842105,79.19776315789477,77.42105263157895,8.010526315789475,33.1842105263158,8.841846274778883,3.41261052631579,164,9,28,4,4,53,31,38,0.212,0.6970000000000001,0.09,-0.6917,0,0,1,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,1,0,9,5,4,0,0,3,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,6,2,2,5,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,4,15,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17088490537487225,0.25040897812020085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14897938826782295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5282029006602652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2480532241586956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21386950736967186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.204158558417703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24714436349572286,0.34918807503047755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25081719310754863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343117163396998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2387956433024968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16313387904626486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27377551096965896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18814527208698506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,TheSniperWolf,2020/04/14,"Manic or just a good mood? Today I was able to drive myself to the grocery store and do the shopping like a grown adult woman without being anxious or sweaty, I just 'was'. I delivered a few supplies to my friend across town too for the first time and didn't panic. I drove confidently (I am learning), then I came home and prepared food for my husband and I for the first time in, jeez, I don't know. I am on 2mg Lamictal and started 2 weeks ago, I go up to 4mg on Wednesday.

Is the medication working, or was I manic? I actually got shit done. How do you tell the difference between a manic episode and just feeling good or on the level? I'm still getting used to this, was only diagnosed about a month and a half ago. Thanks guys!",3.9052000000000007,4.4917464533333336,5.285333333333334,83.88600000000002,71.13333333333333,7.866666666666667,29.666666666666664,7.908726449838941,1.8440666666666683,568,22,119,7,10,191,92,150,0.042,0.799,0.159,0.9315,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,0,3,7,8,1,1,13,0,13,4,1,2,0,21,24,13,0,0,8,1,1,1,1,0,2,0,1,3,1,8,1,0,3,1,2,5,3,2,0,3,9,1,16,5,17,14,1,26,0,0,0,0,7,8,2,4,14,82,17,2,0.16866341444793936,0.0,0.1645911625111552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2990198806800009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19054165019394464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1929060136821483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1711898153276758,0.0,0.17621736992025186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17260123166697502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08528129011345008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28693002833534403,0.20394847024112872,0.0,0.13030893561478865,0.0,0.08811967272333576,0.0,0.09585530528067517,0.2829337397148673,0.13489554023015182,0.0,0.0,0.16700329752770496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16918315666551778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092693001651236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08240042478112437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16991064576514964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346255282695099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12827612695219442,0.0,0.19789017629189865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17313057117241687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11938083285208145,0.0,0.13469482064953867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14741925836841682,0.1552826113792779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19669798663968613,0.0,0.15987319560123608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456710368179536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13529161744980972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625855127598332,0.0,0.12278897448967085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,OGKebabEater,2020/04/14,"An Island Nation of Redditors  

Hello all,

If you are interested in joining a (hopefully) newly formed island nation then this is the place to be.

the subbreddit is reddit.com/[r/theredditnation](https://www.reddit.com/r/theredditnation/)

I have prepared a plan that explains how we will go about doing such a task. More detailed elaborations for each component of the plan will be given at request.

Obviously the first question is where we would have our island. I have identified places of interest. One place of interest is the Nation of Belize. Belize is a small nation with a low GDP of 2 Billion and they are selling off most of their island. Islands with 50-100 acres can be acquired for around 500,000; give or take 50,000. From the people (Government Officials) I have contacted, they are perfectly okay with this plan.

Now here is a 5 step proposal of how this will come to fruition (I will expand on how we will finance this)

1. Acquire the island
2. Set up the initial infrastructure  

   1. Form of Government that I propose is a constitutional monarchy (for now I will be the “king”)  

      1. Country will be run as a democracy (two chamber form of parliament)
      2. Noble titles such as Duke, Earl, Count, Lord, Baron etc will be sold off to help initially finance the island.
   2. Establishment of the Government Building  

      1. For now this is where the government will convene until more infrastructure is added and the island is improved.
      2. People will be made citizens at this location
   3. Establishment of Civil Services  

      1. Waste collection, Police, Social Services
   4. Establishment of a Port  

      1. This will allow supplies to enter the island.
      2. This will allow for the island to participate with the rest of the world economically(I will expand on this later).
      3. The port will function as the entrance point and exit until the runway can be constructed.
   5. Establishment of Resident Housing  

      1. This temporary housing will be until the island can be developed and more permanent buildings can be put up.
      2. Resident Housing and the Government building will be set up near the port until island development is completed
   6. Set up a massive solar powered crypto mining operation to help finance further development of the island  

      1. A partnership with big mining companies can be brokered to have this set up
3. Make the Island a desirable location  

   1. Set up the island as a luxury city  

      1. Free housing for citizens
      2. Free healthcare for citizens
      3. Free schooling and university for citizens
   2. Build resorts and legalize gambling on the island  

      1. The revenue generated from such activities will help finance further development of the island
      2. With the revenue generated from this, the island will be able to provide for the residents a luxury city
      3. The gambling industry investments will help to finance the island as well
   3. Make the island a banking haven  

      1. Set up a bank on the island
      2. No KYC laws will be enforced on the island
      3. This will attract forgien investment into the island
   4. Allow cryptocurrency companies to conduct business without oversight and for miners to set up large scale operations using solar powered energy
   5. No income tax,sales tax, capital gains tax or corporate on the island  

      1. Commercial businesses such as casinos, resorts, and banks will just pay slightly inflated property taxes
      2. This will help attract a lot more forgien investment as well
      3. Will attract companies to set up offices here and thus bring jobs to the island.
4. Expand on the island infrastructure  

   1. Build an airport. The islands have enough space to accommodate runways for planes even up to jumbo jets
   2. Build more free luxury housing for residents
   3. Establish schools and universities
   4. Establish libraries
   5. Establish Museums
   6. Establish a healthcare system
5. Enjoy the luxury haven of an Island that we have built

Now for the question of how much this island will cost and how we will get the funding

According to my calculations (you can look at them below) it will cost us $2,600,000

* The Island itself  

   * 500,000
* The Port  

   * 200,000 to build  

      * This will benefit us later when we receive forgien investments
   * 500,000 for 250 passenger ferry  

      * We will budget around 100,000 for operating costs
* Initial Buildings  

   * 1,000,000  

      * These buildings will be permanently built but occupied until the island is built and then will be sold off to recoup the investment.
      * Buildings include
* Civil Services  

   * Around 50,000 to purchase initial equipment and medical supplies
   * Another 100,000 to purchase ATVs
   * Another 100,000 to purchase off roading vehicles
* Bitcoin mining operation  

   * We will get the money for the operation by partnering with a large company
* Water Purification  

   * 50,000
* Food Supply  

   * We will purchase MRE’s and other preserved food products for the island
   * An exact count of this cannot be made until we move further into the plan
* Further development of the island  

   * This will be financed by the forgien investments in regards to banking, gambling and tourism along with money raised from property taxes

Now in regards to how we will raise that sum

* We will sell off noble titles (this is why we will set up a constitutional monarchy)  

   * While no price has been established yet, the titles for sale can include  

      * Duke, Duchess.
      * Marquess, Marchioness.
      * Earl, Countess.
      * Viscount, Viscountess.
      * Baron, Baroness.
* A small percentage of the island (less than 25%) will be earmarked for sale immediately. The part earmarked for sale will be part of the planned downtown district/capital and developers of this land will be allowed to build whatever structures they want and won't have the problem of jumping through hoops like zoning laws.  

   * On a 60 acre island, 15 acres would be marked for sale  

      * The acres on this haven of an island will be sold for 250,000 each so the island would raise 4.5 million and the sale of said acres will help kickstart the massive infrastructure of the island and provide the island with adequate funding.
* Once the island is set up, the island will continue to profit from digital activities which will allow it to not have to charge an income tax or corporate tax  

   * Digital activities include the solar powered bitcoin mining operation  

      * We will partner with an existing bitcoin company for this
   * Solar powered web hosting
* People can become citizens for a fee of $10 which will mainly go to the printing of their ID and filing in the government archives but the island will profit a few dollars off of this

If you have made it this far, please join the subreddit

More information to come soon, thank you",4.760506082725062,8.166090813333334,5.2443769667477715,72.0889459854015,78.64444444444446,7.942449310624495,32.30056772100568,8.715349130057279,3.6868015896188164,5275,271,753,131,137,1681,407,1125,0.009000000000000001,0.9059999999999999,0.085,0.9966,8,0,0,0,0,0,189.0,17,4,6,15,31,23,0,0,104,1,114,4,0,18,4,102,139,52,0,9,10,0,0,1,2,51,1,1,0,7,36,55,3,0,4,2,59,12,7,2,2,5,9,2,38,25,160,55,23,109,1,1,1,0,51,65,0,10,22,542,74,29,0.08155445141610036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17103390634678864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21780225692431626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09007048418124937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14050387714066312,0.08550829067141125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08426754919187153,0.09095477127458552,0.05386594600198445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06937017471242415,0.19723193274736095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08521766965812487,0.07823446112045722,0.09269854832568047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3279853781409415,0.0,0.0,0.08100197190827563,0.0,0.4705144361196663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08093020897218668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03984338548744673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06848519917607537,0.0,0.0,0.06933467817918715,0.0,0.23150638150216274,0.1088764592018816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08215752983827627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08667947526036186,0.05995190556628231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0868528291087887,0.0552634069253417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17663104692072654,0.0,0.1696187638465323,0.0,0.25562113124900776,0.08952229731275657,0.07709531731649942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0780365958359627,0.0,0.08198474916380917,0.18271930039810366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07757695907816824,0.0,0.0,0.16507491763491114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08313449282447162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06131879788819895,0.0,0.0,0.07508438167783836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0796668487082584,0.0,0.19619992703763384,0.07043686109277571,0.0,0.0,0.04810292844819181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466544922378956,0.0,0.07359020741957252,0.0,0.0,0.07861558088773521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1738018271234259,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mjmiller3416,2020/04/15,"Potential issues with mood stabilizer Hey everyone! 

Brief recap for some context. I'm 29, over the years I've been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, depression, bipolar II, PTSD, and ADHD (specifically in that order, going back about 5 years). I've been on numerous medications, too long to count. My current medications are: Effexor for anxiety and depression, Lamotrigine for bipolar, Prazosin for PTSD, Trazodone for sleep issues and Adderall for ADHD. 

My question for the community is, could my mood stabilizer be negatively impacting the potency of my other medications, specifically my ADHD medicine? I have all the symptoms of someone with ADHD, I've seen multiple Psychiatrists over the years and they all agree. Despite the 4 different ADHD medications I've tried, I feel no different. No negative effects, but nothing positive either. I'm currently on 30mg of Adderall twice a day and I see zero difference when taking it, none, whatsoever. 

I've been taking Effexor for about 3 years, Lamotrigine, Trazodone and Prazosin for about 18 months, and I've tried four different ADHD medications over the last 3 months. The problem is, the only relief from any of my symptoms, seems to be the depression. I still have terrible anxiety which cripples so many aspects of my life. I still have bouts of mood swings, typically going from feeling 'okay' to angry without any time to process how I'm feeling. Every night I'm having awful nightmares and waking up at least 4-5 times throughout the night. And my concentration is awful, I'm constantly forgetting things, can't focus or multitask and have trouble listening to and follow directions especially at work. 

I guess my theory is because my mood stabilizer is meant, by definition, to stabilize me, that it's possibly causing my other medications to be less effective. Has anyone else experienced any issues similar to these or am I a lone wolf in all this? 

Sorry for the ramble, thanks for reading.",8.746258100873483,9.985795136094671,9.399568892645814,56.33975345167653,60.65680473372781,13.183657368272755,41.83488306565229,12.540900571622839,6.289319075795998,1588,87,220,57,21,536,182,338,0.153,0.8,0.048,-0.9876,5,0,0,0,0,0,52.0,0,0,1,3,10,14,0,0,14,3,21,14,2,4,3,38,41,17,0,2,5,0,3,0,0,0,12,1,0,0,10,14,0,0,8,1,0,4,7,7,0,3,5,7,20,3,45,32,8,35,0,4,2,0,4,10,0,6,20,146,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5180226368553935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14655994951911974,0.0,0.16487103906039985,0.0,0.0,0.050231841579703326,0.07360804683992253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0552401332253755,0.0,0.04379268615735096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07379894506435862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07763296696598605,0.0,0.05735798692737393,0.0,0.0,0.046330527751589454,0.0,0.18562574174486304,0.07291556987985692,0.0,0.3002279061022496,0.08233427912709057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060012675438369335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06052786852033925,0.06864571106322093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10897261364776388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0816560751253774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07913929720770177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.224945288419178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05855877242958776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05074235615165956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0635756877657294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0728339669457165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4342243681111373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146831906484466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13483298916678207,0.0,0.06893192793024737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05463716916100909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08098823060365194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06874068954912413,0.16795303824528196,0.0,0.080476669751853,0.0,0.07185893052927313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05724677223515087,0.06539997335956822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07189137136342348,0.0,0.060869366531364176,0.0,0.0,0.08041842718173585,0.0,0.0,0.11474221861536693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14933747338482706,0.10802871150398567,0.0,0.0,0.06614015021559477,0.0,0.0,0.04772696483182093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0837803683741372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09754859573520333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06925070451416873,0.0,0.052300004137162716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18504910417743495
bipolarreddit,palebluerug,2020/04/15,"I think I’m losing my mind Every night I try to sleep but I get so anxious I can’t, I age this compulsive urge to urinate every few seconds. It’s 330 am where I live and I took Xanax plus my normal medication (seroquel and lamictal) and i m so high on the medication I can barely think. But recently I can’t bring myself to do any school work or college work, but I go to one of the most prestigious universities in the country and I have one semester left so I feel like I can’t drop out or take a break otherwise it’ll be a waste. I keep snapping at my mom and I don’t want to talk to any of my friends and everything makes me so wildly angry I lkterally shakenwith anger. I can’t even think straight anymore and I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore. I started hearing voices occasionally bht im not sure if it’s due to insomnia or I’m actually hearing things. I’m sorry if this is incomprehensible I just need someone to tell me if I’m losing my mind or not.",0.7199735216240057,2.8462154368932038,3.642400706090029,85.62605472197708,83.95145631067963,6.8522506619594,24.41218005295675,8.00094639256281,1.5102601941747569,764,31,166,16,22,272,114,206,0.147,0.775,0.078,-0.9259999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,4,7,7,1,0,5,0,14,6,2,1,1,37,36,22,0,6,13,1,2,2,1,1,4,3,0,0,7,9,0,1,6,0,0,3,8,3,0,3,1,5,31,4,15,33,2,18,0,2,0,0,7,8,0,8,7,102,38,4,0.0,0.0,0.12241463238879782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1706115846505663,0.0,0.0,0.14171530055063422,0.2488122281443059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08285416191542022,0.0,0.2113828968485489,0.0,0.1127404111166076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12685587269210594,0.17923353527111455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969172354510756,0.0,0.06553898264080384,0.0,0.07129235725310927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2827675868525712,0.0,0.0,0.13253780630827022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13550036434306398,0.0,0.0,0.11149982983974084,0.0,0.0,0.06894039478809345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13629458709155934,0.0,0.0,0.12257058707606465,0.0,0.11076879275593518,0.0,0.0,0.2806780847193082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08373442266434909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25274199322669405,0.0,0.0,0.25332408492410724,0.14691775726116166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09301466837432344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11772010372067725,0.12290786713785926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1700073462079857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12386019295110848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12695538618586324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255339623607325,0.0,0.10628775918659883,0.0,0.0,0.14042358101514174,0.08878946199110542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11822889040087135,0.0,0.09431780161255487,0.10082662801865004,0.10964303334922897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08333900012148139,0.2411371363685352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13937219824151195,0.08516781300123881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07398974896134802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18264853281574936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,elst3r,2020/04/15,"Good online counciling resources? Hey everyone! 

Right when COVID hit I was trying to get in to see a councilor or therapist or something. I got a referral to a place by me but they are only seeing severe extreme cases during the pandemic. 

I am wondering what your experience has been with online resources and if you have had any luck anywhere? Please share! I am in the US.",3.6211428571428566,6.2718336857142845,4.998571428571426,77.03642857142857,76.42857142857143,8.0,28.57142857142857,8.841846274778883,2.8517142857142868,298,13,49,7,7,99,57,70,0.046,0.7829999999999999,0.171,0.8498,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,1,2,1,0,1,3,0,0,5,0,8,0,0,0,0,8,14,6,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,9,3,7,9,0,5,0,0,2,0,6,4,0,5,1,36,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679547075241507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2359997467706525,0.0,0.24159359903339506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12903673198290128,0.0,0.0,0.20715490657308724,0.1975322777811136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18783923841051167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2580412844305732,0.271109612153972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21091936735794165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3936217876304104,0.0,0.0,0.27901683117741183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19013708720316053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2867625397602888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16768304628776148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29708624398890915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26783901654493525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Emilz1991,2020/04/15,"As anyone else been prescribed SSRIs? I've switched to a new psychiatrist due to no longer being able to afford my out-of-network doctor. We just had our first session and my overall impression of him is positive. However he wants to switch me from Wellbutrin because I deal with very high levels of anxiety and he thinks that's the wrong antidepressant for me. 

Instead he is going to switch me to an SSRI with anti-anxiety properties (undetermined medication as of yet). I expressed some concern because of the known connection between SSRIs and mania. He says as long as I continue on my mood stabilizer it should be fine.

Does anyone here have experience combining a mood stabilizer with an SSRI? For general background I am Bipolar I and tend to spend a lot more time 'up' than 'down'",6.4743749999999975,7.991368798611113,7.316277777777778,68.2565,65.875,10.482222222222225,35.927777777777784,10.577609850970193,4.315666111111112,633,31,101,17,10,211,100,144,0.05,0.895,0.055,0.168,2,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,2,0,0,1,4,5,0,0,7,0,9,3,0,0,0,17,13,8,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,2,8,0,0,2,0,1,1,1,1,0,1,2,1,14,2,26,8,3,13,0,0,0,0,10,5,0,3,7,71,16,2,0.21522908609001806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3292993235018985,0.0,0.0,0.300986362639305,0.2205276332958876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2624033063926452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2218917370813526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22029608965039785,0.18834842364059126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17979628383509713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2105353454196797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18307375067833986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12231964958119265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274013463509168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1904709683253073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18298007232877944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21682066098742356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2078695925230649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17115880792174828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13791010779688725,0.0,0.0,0.12550181092555093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17758653663762464,0.1269476913692286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23531921841146025,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,amilmore,2020/04/15,Reminder - Caffeine is a drug and it is very easy to drink too much coffee when stuck at home For me it was a slow increase to the point that my sleep was getting wrecked - it can be hard to be fully self aware (now more than ever) but i have found it helpful to remind myself of this. I was basically forcing freak out juice into my body because i slowly built up an insane tolerance the last few weeks.,7.069814814814812,5.676773728395062,7.021080246913584,80.79236111111112,64.80246913580247,9.087654320987657,32.595679012345684,7.1686216300943375,2.006108641975309,316,10,64,2,4,101,66,81,0.114,0.77,0.11599999999999999,0.0378,0,0,2,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,5,0,9,4,2,0,1,6,12,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,6,3,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,5,1,7,0,11,5,4,12,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,6,47,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16307331921918708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29714641308651873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620606996936605,0.3102299169814481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419806419629097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2933139761951222,0.0,0.0,0.13976439621917575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23963892290723035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17930819014604898,0.0,0.2683371489139503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21805863552608212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1966526875770206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2528860626978897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27907419158140123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26770599340101875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22072607526372945,0.0,0.0,0.2145826311197921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Prisoner8612,2020/04/15,"Has anyone had persistent palpitations when on Aripiprazole (Abilify)? Hi all! So I've been on Aripiprazole since November 2018 and for first 6 or so months I had barely any physical side effects apart from a bit more of an appetite but then in July/August 2019 I started having palpitations, they subsided. Now they're back and I've noticed they happen after I take that day's dose in the morning and throughout the day.

I've purposely not taken my aripiprazole for two days to see if there was a correlation and low & behold I've had no palpitations.

I'm not looking for medical advice but I wondered if anyone had similar issues? How did you resolve them? Did you have to find an alternative psych med or add a cardiac med into the mix? 

Thanks for any help!",4.523597701149427,6.608170503448278,5.805258620689652,74.96352011494255,71.55172413793103,9.247126436781613,30.014367816091948,9.725611199111238,3.2156781609195404,613,26,106,16,12,205,100,145,0.038,0.875,0.087,0.8357,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,2,3,4,7,3,0,0,8,0,11,2,0,2,1,20,20,15,0,2,8,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,1,0,2,9,2,10,2,14,11,3,19,0,1,2,0,7,8,0,5,11,69,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805514611613845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20019417692907296,0.0,0.2512947997370397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2583857447743081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14207385709941706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20171691337862907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3574768774867569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16887302394486894,0.15716209532834025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16338820283325053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12384493643312187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19284798265338365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551571326742389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4104673479784266,0.1861325791654896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474786743672073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2103576236255718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14723479584592208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.152840568307694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13077851727075135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389212409954962,0.0,0.0,0.17010795777639098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18048979872258167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20037113879272173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Maceknicks,2020/04/15,"Recent diagnosis, Lithium questions Hello,

I was diagnosed with BP2 about two weeks ago. I’ve been prescribed 1200mg of lithium carbonate daily (split between am & pm). I’m experiencing some side effects, but am not noticing any mood stabilization yet. My two questions...how long did it take before you felt lithium was effecting your mood? What side effects did you experience after starting lithium. Thanks in advance for any feedback you can share.",4.930129870129871,8.457798181818188,5.036376623376622,72.66885064935067,80.16883116883116,6.716363636363638,34.972727272727276,7.908726449838941,3.5429594805194817,368,21,51,7,10,115,61,77,0.0,0.9129999999999999,0.087,0.7684,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,4,0,4,2,4,0,0,0,0,8,1,0,3,0,9,13,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,5,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,6,2,6,2,7,7,1,11,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,2,7,29,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20820787103336472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544935099109313,0.0,0.3194543247384352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19986646617889306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23839931252005295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.229758728344199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.225522633732014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20786233010744687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2674136220853281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2631205210952504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2319166918366543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16625000982407434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17660131160883866,0.0,0.0,0.21624690539141908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4588892952296128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18840740337282388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,emilankoto,2020/04/15,"Adjusting to diagnosis - it's been pretty difficult So I've just been diagnosed. I've kind of known for a while now, but I never did anything about it because I didn't want to accept it. Even though I've been dealing with it for some time, having a doctor put a label on it officially has been a lot to digest.

The whole process has been difficult because I've never actually met with my clinicians or psychiatrist in person because of the pandemic. I think it's made it difficult for me to talk about everything I want to cover in the way I want to.

My psychiatrist has been difficult and frustrating, but because of what's going on in the world I'm stuck with him for now. I've talked to three other professionals in this practice that have confirmed that I have bipolar i. He is very reluctant to agree because I was not arrested or hospitalized leading up to this diagnosis (as student of abnormal psychology, that just seems wrong, am I crazy??). Either way he's trying me on meds that he would prescribe for mild cylcothymia while his colleagues have whole heartedly agreed that I am living with bipolar. He says he will not diagnose me with bipolar until he has met me in person multiple times (even though that would only happen once a month once quarantine is eventually lifted and by then I'll have probably just adjusted to the mild medication he's prescribed me).

This has been pretty stressful. I've been trying to work on opening up to people in my life and slowly letting people close to me know what's going on. I just feel so restless and awful because I'm trying to work through this diagnosis and figuring out meds and doctors and there's so much on my mind that I want to talk about with literally anyone. Even though my therapist knows I'm dealing with bipolar she keeps talking to me about substance abuse issues which are relevant but are also the least of my worries since I don't have addiction problems in the slightest. I've just been getting more and more on edge because she's just been blowing over any bipolar symptomatic stuff that I bring up. I get more and more frustrated with each appointment. 

The practice normally has group sessions but those have ceased for the time being since they don't have the logistics down for video or group sessions. I guess I'm happy that I'm finally getting treatment but I'm angry that I put my life on hold to do it and that it's just going so badly. I feel like if I could talk to someone face to face, not even in person, I would be able to get across so much better and get what I want to get out of this.",8.107354709418841,7.13179975150301,8.156323847695392,72.13672224448901,62.50701402805612,11.350733466933873,36.994068136272546,10.53366545652748,3.823213803607216,2072,85,378,42,25,675,212,499,0.138,0.8,0.061,-0.99,0,1,0,0,1,0,33.0,0,0,1,4,27,16,2,2,15,1,44,17,3,2,2,76,78,34,0,12,20,0,2,1,0,4,14,1,0,3,32,24,1,2,11,1,0,7,8,11,0,1,17,3,40,5,74,53,13,49,0,0,0,0,27,27,0,8,14,270,72,9,0.0741815105253724,0.08789295972219803,0.0723904534612231,0.08086879607485943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059322927166098736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050445970949640144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051869436965370885,0.0,0.06104506248805324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061938462724921275,0.31654252201865635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06560751776318133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05922789995006113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15295576010492493,0.0,0.1505853433494473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15185583872492475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19598475231808105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0666695584087935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07501680125325515,0.0529952859414927,0.0,0.08126221881695701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2325406651234209,0.0,0.12647718583545015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08171929714114383,0.0,0.0655984647693861,0.07896759735384212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08790544714261385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07742622402699385,0.0,0.06593593498947338,0.0,0.07724862785378035,0.08153643634129018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07585562046329984,0.10479318938393777,0.0362413389898666,0.0,0.06550363286217878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06306646749275156,0.0,0.07019233889299469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16479787033844862,0.07473006756358988,0.0,0.0,0.0749021788590677,0.0,0.05921097396845972,0.0,0.10906389134029093,0.0,0.11442670812446044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07268213008885029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580017753738464,0.0,0.0564183815014334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10285623815009527,0.19431730102952505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15093852987747086,0.07998021498987051,0.07098168714095314,0.0,0.14914581429737814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058992114597592085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06753206111960934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12272742415433235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06285375314004757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08497466967365229,0.0,0.08492008178065345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2981214410730877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0861304512593816,0.0,0.04753251662654575,0.21864887235323208,0.0,0.12976750601774956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510931287334696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061207515099695214,0.21877088442264464,0.11776366037988545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16564201465422296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10801004631999477,0.07533492479472657,0.0,0.1580892501171319,0.08110583655087931,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Bearslittleprincess,2020/04/15,"Anyone want to help me with my data projects before I start my master's (X post from r/bipolar) I'm not sure if this is allowed but if not please remove it. I am a going into a Master's degree in statistics and want to keep my skills sharp while I'm waiting to acceptance and to have something for my resume. I'm also diagnosed bipolar and wanted to do a project with bipolar diagnosis. I didn't need any identifying information just a bunch of data points to help me make some models. This will be in the form of a survey. For each individual I wanted to know what diagnosis (bipolar 1, 2, etc), what age diagnosed, are you male, female, or gender fluid (if you're trans use the gender you I'd with), any comorbid diagnosis (ADHD, BPD, etc), and some other data points. No names will be collecting and I will be doing this via a Google survey. Just want to see if there is any interest in this project from the community. Once I have results I am willing to share them and explain what I found as this will help me prepare for. If anyone has any ideas of what to add as questions I'm welcoming suggestions as I want to get as much information as possible to create a good picture of what bipolar looks like statistically. Thanks for any help you wonderful beings will give! Be on the look out for my survey when it is complete. I know I will need at least 250 to 1000 participants. This is a lofty goal but that's why I'm reaching out. I'd love to see what this data looks like and I can't get much from other sources.

Edit: I have completed the google survey so here is the link. Please share with anyone you know is Bipolar and help me get enough people to participate in this survey. This is a non medical study as I am an individual just trying to do a project to keep my skills up to date

[https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSc9SjFMfIAOHKjZZBbi3ko-QLjsdxDq1poyH-2cGayNIL1DAA/viewform?usp=sf\_link](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSc9SjFMfIAOHKjZZBbi3ko-QLjsdxDq1poyH-2cGayNIL1DAA/viewform?usp=sf_link)",7.500499999999999,8.980032716666667,7.140555555555558,70.58500000000002,63.5,8.888888888888891,28.333333333333336,9.075114841892004,2.216500000000001,1638,48,280,26,24,515,167,360,0.018000000000000002,0.789,0.193,0.9964,1,0,1,0,0,0,70.0,0,4,1,5,8,11,0,0,17,0,32,9,0,4,1,61,69,26,0,13,13,0,1,2,0,7,8,0,0,1,20,17,0,3,12,0,0,2,5,0,0,0,2,6,29,11,50,55,11,20,0,0,5,1,22,12,0,10,7,187,49,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1159734308386272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07717047191104151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3281142359424164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2024237062933653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08211381441712333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12153751632088901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2023554035852304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1958895584606952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997095941923709,0.2152445020798977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10580652432257596,0.0,0.0,0.15125073663203392,0.09257094154260828,0.054842787789697936,0.08093905183595701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3234073027823301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10893598714884216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17154606025379093,0.0,0.0,0.15910050896808486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09428938746415397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2431053762753383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08709440452974787,0.0,0.0644140459063512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09721291337629556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14187620815842994,0.1431060471425125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027686271636818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06690047858573425,0.0,0.0,0.21185455188448174,0.18244609882404714,0.10878848481608737,0.09241967436834786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081013241071346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15379492960037322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07428989161617974,0.0,0.0,0.06830271588091266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09094946775074766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08884360942117578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06551670438328658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08334442977276628,0.0,0.0,0.34150679741115675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08707562743554634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10464939692931542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Unhappywith,2020/04/15,"I’ve got my medicine back after quitting two months ago! I’m so excited to get back on them! I quit it for the silliest reasons.. but it worked so well for me, the only medicine I’m taking right now that made me feel like a normal person with normal emotions. I’m almost .. bursting with excitement at having my medicine back! After I stopped taking it (and ran out) I had a problem with the pharmacy, and they said I wasn’t prescribed this medicine, but after fixing it, it’s finally here, and I can get back on track on my journey to being better. I know it isn’t as easy as just taking meds, but god, when I started taking them, I felt wonderful! I was able to join dance classes despite my anxiety! I was able to go outside without fear, my emotions weren’t constantly all over the place. I didn’t get extremely depressed over any minor occurrence. My emotions didn’t dominate me. I have to wait to take them at bedtime, but just having my pills right in front of me, gives me enough motivation to.. try and do things. Heck, I’m probably gonna go brush my teeth today. Maybe I’ll even clean my room! Ah, I just needed to show how excited I am.",4.154896288209606,5.137842358078604,5.141219978165938,83.69471206331879,70.83406113537117,8.170414847161572,29.596342794759828,8.472884824447931,2.127307641921397,896,35,179,14,16,294,132,229,0.051,0.7440000000000001,0.205,0.9895,1,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,0,0,4,5,15,9,0,1,6,1,15,2,1,4,1,32,42,14,0,4,8,0,2,1,0,1,1,1,2,1,9,8,0,2,6,2,0,6,6,3,2,1,12,4,32,6,29,28,2,35,0,1,0,0,7,13,1,2,17,117,41,3,0.2163012818387738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09586901773876606,0.0,0.10829724455305237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07354614446868553,0.0,0.08273494428200928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3326446685053937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09565045312458607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1168724216147791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931499885491814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3649647430680197,0.0,0.11174852255836126,0.0,0.07143247833426805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1216995387022662,0.05468421361200829,0.07726283948232986,0.10384157556792388,0.1184737407656238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16951273838186812,0.10374794956305627,0.12292900313397123,0.0,0.08649794729230388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059436763865688726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052836940253329565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023347514110232,0.0,0.0,0.10865185523767112,0.0,0.1201309812446945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08632480976455426,0.0,0.0,0.0801923298699302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21192933109138665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08225343587372136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944329680861226,0.11299440107022435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11660468290230235,0.10348555729675804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23006303828659114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11119687132893903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18472011284018786,0.10287602576190714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07654958029103598,0.0,0.0,0.09041877847373962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4065791122902368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07185048020465623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025141618690587,0.0,0.0,0.07342718598974471,0.0,0.1056474612754861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09724041455635644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10425335848166774,0.11728475667960632,0.07873495465723034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,FormalBeyond,2020/04/16,"My life is central defined and unique because of my bi-polar. I accept the cursed gift of having huge emotional depths and energy. Life is short I want to dig in and really feel it while I am here get the most bang for my buck. How far out from center of lifes rolling wheel can you stand?  

>I have done many a foolish things in maniac episodes spending $2,000 in a single weekend in a year I only made $14,000. Which ended up causing me to live in my car for 6 months traveling the States from Cali to Colorado to a minor detour to Alabama. I was helping another vagabond found in Texas get to see his daughter for the first time in 3 years and making some more risky reckless decisions while there and befriended some gutter druggies and smoked fake weed and crack for the 1st time. I ended up running thru a Walmart parking lot naked trying to get into a middle aged couples RV. Where I was promptly flashed a firearm and swift kick to the face and landing head first on asphalt , lol, talk about a moment of clarity.  
>  
>Then escorted to a mental infirmary by EMS & Sheriffs where I manged to escape in about 12 hours time but only had the foam happy face shoes and hospital gown from being butt naked on arrival. Mind you its freezing out cause this was in December and I spent the next 2 and half weeks wondering around Mobile, Alabama and eventually outlaying suburbs including Sims which is where my car was. Living of what I found on the streets what some people offered and eventually to the point of stealing food and warmer cloths. Walking at night to be safe and keep my body warm and sleeping at day with the poor mans blanket the sun.  
>  
>All this happening while missing my 1st Christmas of my youngest son conceived in a maniac attempt to save a floundering marriage of 6 years the cause of my oldest son who was the real cause of the marriage of two unbalanced individuals who went from Hello to I do in 12 days. Getting the marriage license bought by pawning my guitar and rolling up to the local Justice of the Peace, without informing any friends or family, said the state mandated vows and I do in shorts flip-flops and a short sleeve plaid button up while she sported gym shorts and a rolling stones t-shirt topped of with a facial expression of Fear and eyes screaming WTF am I doing right before stumbling over the words I do.  
>  
>Just some adventures of my life induced by bi-polar disorder but my point is its me and I accept it have matured my episodes learning to damage control and come a little closer to center of the wheel of life but I have lived a dozen different lifes and I am only 31 one of the pros of being out on the edge of the wheel you cover more area of experience and began to acquire a broader perception and can see the good in pretty much anything. Enjoy your flaws that is where your greatest gifts are.",8.04575722092116,7.248475604735884,7.489208300806662,76.29112704918033,62.533697632058285,10.320088472547491,36.547033567525375,9.424239791934726,3.3030957064793127,2293,93,419,34,28,718,305,549,0.08900000000000001,0.792,0.11900000000000001,0.9304,1,0,2,1,0,0,46.0,0,5,0,6,10,18,2,1,42,1,29,16,9,9,0,72,51,36,0,1,5,3,3,0,1,0,6,2,0,1,14,35,1,3,11,5,5,7,1,8,0,6,15,8,39,10,85,33,11,89,0,2,3,1,24,53,1,8,26,268,53,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09701701991868142,0.0,0.0608905637654661,0.09389094940633028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07368414563189576,0.07970996754293369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05458301584453026,0.0,0.07619231208348094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09945923374409647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3679307520241112,0.0,0.07713115312503614,0.0,0.0,0.10042720749560903,0.0,0.09907478416226867,0.0,0.115492341404409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09355069301337254,0.1026210917045471,0.0,0.0,0.09163094900755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10072093341522148,0.15861249027157934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0875877232863871,0.0844107497481425,0.10075787894949853,0.045274332461086406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15232609026718405,0.10827264496518883,0.1963529225594717,0.06917871511823886,0.0,0.1871247188653503,0.0,0.0,0.07510226556885265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07918030769879511,0.09531745413087496,0.0,0.0,0.09189431494280624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06001706367821503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08817928829752245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07958764948582668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3794703279716383,0.0,0.08974303529155199,0.2371975239199532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0761240727066921,0.0,0.08472532110597801,0.059768933194667626,0.09077994342556944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09023569462989832,0.0,0.09041031051901964,0.0,0.07147031800896615,0.0,0.06582251966956366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09522726451605233,0.08402762915264192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060674913582667224,0.2042985985810585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06207606088112196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692892992329024,0.0,0.0,0.09109480901205064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10191661373001057,0.05736189311326895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.076467039101204,0.0851734547316794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14270426183642304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08960509634223635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0719692069586104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0594866838783612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15663523669209206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060792075273653,0.0,0.08746799065984501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052813266301337716,0.0,0.07182393300420731,0.0,0.0,0.08300487689489543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0863137805285613,0.09710277822051523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17298330620279173
bipolarreddit,vdudx,2020/04/16,"Sigh! He’s doing it again Sorry, posted in another bipolar sub.
I don’t have bipolar myself, but my boyfriend does.

We’ve just had an incredible 3 weeks and out of nowhere, he started to isolate and hate himself and be mean and all of that.
I quickly realized he’s gone into depression and he has a different sickness that messes up his hormones, so it’s even more intense.

I’m not upset or angry or anything. It’s just that we’re long distance and we used to talk a lot every day.
Like text each other updates and stuff throughout the day, talk to each other through sad/bad times, and just hang out snd work on our own stuff together. And now, radio silence.

I just miss him and times like this make the distance so much longer.

Ugh
I want to shake him and yell and ask “Why won’t you let me love you?!?!?!”

It’s probably best for us that I’m not close enough to do that.
Lol

Not like I could, if I wanted to, I’m 5’2 and he’s 6’3 lol.

I just needed to talk to someone who understands.

I hope that you reading this are staying safe and healthy and happy.
If you’re not happy, please let the people who love you love you.
I promise you’re not a burden to them

And you’re SOOOO worth it.
❤️",0.925763027295286,3.0519086854838733,2.4993548387096785,94.13249379652606,83.11290322580646,5.105707196029776,22.038461538461537,6.297961479604792,0.2886210918114145,926,31,203,8,26,302,144,248,0.08199999999999999,0.637,0.281,0.9963,1,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,3,5,1,2,11,21,1,2,7,2,12,6,0,2,1,51,31,23,0,7,15,0,0,3,0,1,3,1,0,0,19,23,0,1,3,2,1,3,7,8,1,0,2,1,25,12,19,24,9,23,0,2,0,3,27,7,0,6,14,128,44,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13169890645470972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033552377958592,0.0,0.11741579572510688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10486785143183418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318058033263543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10027860459125466,0.0,0.0,0.16199873537362658,0.0,0.10817610214691747,0.0,0.0,0.13122163580029522,0.0,0.0,0.10991036459757413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12977478343604834,0.0,0.08295531962213169,0.0,0.10582048846637312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2673996706702133,0.0,0.1240005651948073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12474568755232453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2568619105819126,0.0,0.18408035261186248,0.0,0.0,0.11114897151374854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106777673393877,0.3400672997785931,0.0,0.08383665509267517,0.0,0.0,0.13681143459976894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09232789651598404,0.09312823117341228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08707281571602206,0.0,0.0,0.13786726750540373,0.0,0.0,0.12028675197737525,0.0,0.13541429564200666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12563051227755728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064175272721392,0.0,0.0,0.1405950259624481,0.08889786618164368,0.1338691835140696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2875559427202136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30284918561775565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14647268641658395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13075041096080306,0.15107715416940998,0.10847507115006648,0.0,0.0,0.1481601679856611,0.0,0.1007459557469624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11333132768752835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09143576537356768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,CrimsonFoxGirl,2020/04/16,"Please read, bad bad pdoc problems So this is going to be a little long. I apologize.

I had been feeling an episode coming on for about 3 days when I had my last psych appointment. I had just switched to a new psych which is worth mentioning. I told her all about the hallucinations, delusions, crazy mood swings, and anxiety but she didn't really seem to care?

The next day was bad. I was losing it big time. Moods up and down and all over the place. Like literally changing within minutes. It was so bad I can't even really remember what happened. I know I called the doctor's office and told them everything. They contacted my new psych and all she said was she refused to change my mood stabilizer as I requested but wanted me to talk to my therapist because I was ""dangerous"".

Well, of course, I'm in between therapists because I was getting a new one before the shut down and never had my first appointment. Now they won't even do virtual or phone appointments. Sooo they said they would pick a therapist for me to talk to.

Great. A total stranger. And I'm supposed to open up to them? And convince them I need a med change? All the whole being totally out of it and NOT getting hospitalized.

I was beyond angry and full of anxiety.

Anyways. They promised to call me in a few hours. Well, two days went by and no call. I finally call them and I'm pretty upset. They do finally get me an appointment with a therapist and when I talk to her, surprise surprise, she thinks I need a med change.

Well that appointment was a week ago. We've been waiting this entire time to hear from my psych. If I don't hear from her by Friday, I'm calling a walk-in mental health place to get them changed.

Meanwhile, whatever the heck was going on with me is over. I had to grin and bear it. Just ride it out and hope I don't majorly fuck up my life.

Once I'm stable again, I think I'm going to call my psychiatrist's boss and complain. Then if she doesn't really step up her game, I'm going to get a new doctor. Because she really did put me at risk.

Is that wrong of me?",1.9904110317132224,4.211886876513319,3.5099651567944257,87.83930313588851,79.75060532687651,7.225394200673241,23.632492765605626,8.25429008570747,1.4695004901671287,1612,56,334,33,41,531,196,413,0.111,0.755,0.134,0.8838,0,0,0,0,0,0,52.0,0,0,11,2,18,27,2,2,21,0,32,5,0,2,7,53,69,27,0,8,8,0,1,1,0,2,4,4,0,0,11,22,0,2,6,2,1,9,9,12,3,3,23,5,57,12,50,42,10,57,0,1,0,1,44,24,2,5,25,223,68,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059101859357844164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10200978702543076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22267768879059466,0.12193027812154734,0.0,0.05673406925409336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4084853749886537,0.0,0.06797787489908204,0.0,0.3526575645892985,0.057433145987869576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12899629207424454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13648589950803666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0880741742780372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059921664689566126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033712024783626615,0.0,0.0,0.14607468668151832,0.0,0.05671227659396205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06163839331019929,0.17417024219627988,0.0,0.1515678959811874,0.0,0.0,0.07350755079722211,0.0,0.0,0.0589589807383967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07087060220789214,0.15029131397199202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06622163277751877,0.06565977212460704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03664190310416486,0.05434763987104358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047093324943834385,0.032573207543028414,0.0668241642769012,0.0,0.059003774155278965,0.0,0.07459037053210854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14811801613302172,0.0,0.06719100665582511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09887481718995368,0.05142256075645764,0.2575739620335864,0.0709078130351541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07100489061480722,0.04517955493217662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13931881973535262,0.07318726394412073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06783071758625091,0.0,0.06379734555732229,0.0,0.06702508376747413,0.0,0.0,0.06669134471046438,0.0,0.1708504980328415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0755278539463632,0.0,0.12684315640829985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06069687003762692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1607684237464121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30965136971688423,0.0,0.08544311950239132,0.0,0.0,0.07775547710013755,0.0,0.0,0.12741839450413855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06513012801311124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03932564094645176,0.0,0.053481301167201616,0.0,0.17984191683287645,0.061806818895622936,0.0,0.07443836060646081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047362800767625265,0.07289678915178666,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,DamselWithTheDrugs,2020/04/16,"Cross posting: Can’t be in silence Any one else struggle with being in silence? I start to feel panic and I can’t think in silence. For as long as I can remember I’ve always had to have something in the background (music, tv ect) the need went away for a few months earlier this year when I started going to therapy, but lately it’s been back. Does anyone else struggle with this and if so how do you cope?",1.8597891566265048,3.9458734578313286,3.3839608433734973,89.28027861445786,79.48192771084337,5.595783132530121,24.832831325301214,6.6274283507984215,0.9128325301204816,319,12,64,3,8,105,62,83,0.091,0.909,0.0,-0.7278,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,0,4,3,0,3,3,0,9,0,0,1,0,11,16,9,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,3,1,0,3,2,3,0,1,3,1,5,0,14,11,1,17,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,1,8,44,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16463821768487974,0.0,0.0,0.1345539120452015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383507052771362,0.2027344583458512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18589919831656065,0.15214475820495693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1731516140466476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3305789997482829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10004569133796064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124503425365507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22319855843848674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1751029021484585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15793269578290628,0.0,0.0,0.1467132203593979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13407737555195082,0.0,0.0,0.23215009376354956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18949846385798455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2241406860559253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15232492905497227,0.0,0.0,0.28009749710163795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4136996190407946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2262740671250233,0.0,0.0,0.12678289149871025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18342137458370508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127417556617091
bipolarreddit,zevondhen,2020/04/16,"Has Anyone Else Ever Experienced This? (Please excuse the length and disorganized nature of this post--it's a bit difficult for me to articulate myself at the moment) I was diagnosed with bipolar type II when I was 18 (although I was 15 when I first displayed symptoms) and I have brief hypomanic episodes followed by long stretches of depressed episodes, but I also experience another aspect that I've never heard anyone ever talk about. 

I've never been able to really describe it, but I suppose it's sort of like the feeling you get smelling your favorite perfume or tasting the best food or being a kid on Christmas morning but about *everything*. All sensory information. All the time. It's this overwhelming euphoric sense that quickly peaks within a day or two and then takes a sharp dive into being overwhelming (think a wire with far too much current running through it) and this sensation can linger for *years*. It might not sound all that bad, but it's mostly because I lack the ability to fully describe it. I've experienced suicidal episodes, panic attacks, intense grief after losing a sister to suicide, and PTSD flashbacks and this... ordeal is up there with the worst mental states I've ever been in.

One vivid example I can think of is when I visited a house where the living room was entirely mustard yellow--the tablecloth was yellow, the drapery was yellow, the carpet was yellow, even the bricks in the fireplace were yellow. I felt extremely uncomfortable and it was like having to smell the mustiest, most cloying old lady perfume through a dirty dish rag (I didn't literally *smell* this, but it's the closest I can get to explaining how it felt). 

It also seems to be triggered by the transition from winter to spring and summer to fall and I suppose it might have something to do with a subconscious reaction to sensory input. It's so sensitive that one day in late February to early March I will walk outside, stop, and think ""yep, spring is coming."" 

Now I know a sense of mania/hypomania can include feelings of euphoria, but I haven't seen anyone describe anything quite like this. I'm sure with seven billion people on the planet I can't possibly be the only person with this issue but I've never read any literature, seen any media, or read any posts about anything similar. I have had psychiatrists say that they don't know what's going on in my brain or what to do about it. I don't even have the *language* to fully capture it and I feel terribly alone in a state that can be absolutely debilitating.

I just want to know if this sounds familiar to *anyone* out there because if I could find just one person who understands, it would help.",6.245922920892492,7.657926056795134,6.628083164300205,73.36861561866127,66.32251521298174,9.207707910750509,33.36409736308316,9.478462496947786,3.3164182555780943,2138,93,351,42,34,692,260,493,0.126,0.7859999999999999,0.08800000000000001,-0.9739,2,1,1,0,0,1,63.0,0,2,1,4,24,16,1,3,29,1,43,7,1,2,10,75,68,34,3,6,17,1,6,3,0,4,3,4,2,3,34,20,3,1,16,2,0,8,9,11,0,7,18,25,29,5,53,40,10,59,0,5,7,0,16,18,0,13,33,255,63,3,0.09114686217986254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944006607629548,0.0,0.14578022550956354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18594897552417225,0.09557543223690096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549280212250568,0.09339073154111092,0.1500122027161094,0.0,0.0,0.1036927141178497,0.0,0.0,0.07610382271320852,0.11112456238051137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956530085432442,0.0,0.0995087666700745,0.0,0.0,0.10175004226988127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07851495107321707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07277335276294318,0.0,0.0,0.11756437142847664,0.0,0.07850465883671012,0.09251214648618432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07614150764137394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12040328568653767,0.2473426652940755,0.0,0.0,0.08191692254365956,0.08915912092351384,0.0,0.0,0.13825977652475674,0.0,0.17503056285878535,0.0,0.08330658076775929,0.07752947440779495,0.11021514754523024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09524094708194858,0.0,0.05180086225707908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06109382042576586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10517124134359264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09513364341754407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15027579527303112,0.0,0.10281763061675522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335892585657132,0.0,0.0804843491927445,0.08066210480469492,0.0,0.10197002431485427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09185459910652548,0.1933848339072828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06700343119457594,0.0,0.2108942374167811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09564329930522164,0.0,0.18529041813722627,0.06932129592269773,0.0,0.1069412040795238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06318975777528353,0.1591718487141808,0.0,0.10005188378447764,0.0,0.10275439204009726,0.17458699729696064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106545804294945,0.0,0.0,0.09694590741731517,0.18234305563045827,0.0,0.0583910138612142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07248364317259756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08297668009181032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07016930753884743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07620285806868601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19939974698081947,0.0,0.08590483892571438,0.0947364893150917,0.06853109699229906,0.0732603952383978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17520968680760254,0.0,0.0,0.05314846832072702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08903724019265556,0.094887097995978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05376078084745181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06474811576134189,0.0,0.0,0.058695590876569725
bipolarreddit,therealbigtunaa,2020/04/16,Just got diagnosed Hey all new to this but I just got diagnosed with Bipolar 1. Any tips on how to deal with this?,-0.963750000000001,1.0724301250000003,1.0083333333333364,98.52000000000002,101.91666666666666,5.7333333333333325,18.5,7.1686216300943375,0.5007000000000001,89,3,21,2,4,29,18,24,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,1,7,2,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,13,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22496621013006268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34105674864221697,0.0,0.6715425108633191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5291675186226742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31950413431351216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Yun-Harlaa,2020/04/17,"Strategies for countering weight gain on antipsychotics? Hey all. I’ve been on Abilify for about 2 years, and while it’s been an absolute lifesaver from a mental health standpoint, I’ve also gained almost 40 pounds because of the increased appetite side effect. (I know Abilify is supposed to be low-risk for weight gain, but I guess I’m just one of the lucky few.)

I’ve tried a lot of diet changes, from calorie counting to intermittent fasting, but I still feel hungry enough to eat a full meal just an hour after I’ve eaten my last meal. And I frankly don’t have the discipline to just deal with being hungry; I get lightheaded and horrifically irritable when I don’t eat, even though I know I don’t really need to. It’s weird and frustrating.

Going off the Abilify is not an option. So I’m wondering if anyone else has had this experience on an antipsychotic, and if there’s any tips you could give me? Either ways to feel less hungry or even meds that worked for you that I could bring up with my doctor. 

Thanks!

Edit: currently taking Abilify, Wellbutrin, and Lamictal, have tried Topamax but it really had a negative effect on my mental acuity so I stopped.",5.757028657616898,6.934273963800905,6.280886877828058,76.27342684766221,67.28054298642532,9.6942383107089,30.117948717948718,9.888512548439397,2.9514902564102568,930,34,167,21,15,302,134,221,0.111,0.81,0.079,-0.9013,1,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,2,0,6,13,4,1,0,12,0,16,10,0,2,1,37,32,18,0,5,11,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,8,8,2,7,0,0,3,5,2,0,1,5,4,16,2,25,23,8,22,0,0,0,0,5,8,0,9,10,110,22,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14292650784037986,0.0,0.0,0.11414354935953168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970633522340806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09980225051826758,0.14624685259094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08700872787649888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15099261583091536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2279214140085325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14715148246543727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14609330027242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2921030379644822,0.11923512815806653,0.0,0.0,0.1474813708465523,0.0,0.18854763510994174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396202877916103,0.0,0.0,0.14434021323105614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07457211501969976,0.13692252455586187,0.08111846798479973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15723652005133862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15171853218779074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.140563279274927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15688467664557448,0.1163464665492452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12134651456147272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15854421507770866,0.0,0.2876826381731141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10583473024817468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967195924073039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828768627438668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11398677897467112,0.11933120093479115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107317472240982,0.0,0.0,0.13140939359467585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14023447339327888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19381271088423974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11329483239839395,0.0,0.34762074644150165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15478787816169162,0.10391134290231953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09191538908639013
bipolarreddit,theverbtotrust,2020/04/17,"Abilify and Nausea? Hi everyone. I just started taking Abilify (10mg) 4 days ago. I notice that shortly after taking it I feel nauseated and have an upset stomach. Is this common? If so, does this side affect dissipate after time? Any feedback is appreciated. ✌️🙏🤘",1.3827999999999996,4.043008380000003,5.255500000000001,68.51525000000001,95.2,7.300000000000002,26.25,8.07648339933343,3.0586,209,10,31,6,8,78,42,50,0.055999999999999994,0.861,0.083,0.3049,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,3,1,1,1,0,6,7,4,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,2,7,0,9,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,7,18,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3134597117147461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404713617250624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2280534034247617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30945220233137544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3378957417108913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17879913905946254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4025947552867996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25029159509381443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.531751234481253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2061966383196097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,woodythesnake,2020/04/17,"Anyone here had struggle with being able to tell between PTSD and bipolar? I’m going through hypomania (or mania I don’t really know I’m really new to this) for the first time for more than a few days (high doses of zoloft caused me to have very short very intense manic episodes). I have an history of depression in my family but I don’t think bipolar.

Apparently I would have been diagnosed w bipolar if I didn’t already have ptsd. Rn nobody apparently knows which one it is. I guess I just wanna know if it’s something anyone has experienced before or if it can be comorbid.

Honestly I’m really lost rn and have no filter.",3.2689578713968963,5.407208756097564,5.271722099039174,77.1830155210643,75.26016260162599,8.700369549150036,26.62897265336289,9.339509955726095,2.623949593495935,499,19,91,13,11,172,85,123,0.087,0.866,0.047,-0.5805,2,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,2,4,0,1,3,0,16,6,0,1,0,18,26,8,0,5,7,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,4,0,0,1,4,3,0,2,4,1,9,1,13,19,2,8,0,2,0,0,1,3,0,6,4,61,14,0,0.17330489307220512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19124625900434436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24235762155111384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14746969949593186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17803186421504974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11176731887548497,0.0,0.14926725045694286,0.17590081842894806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1633764294479745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14741305351437206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09849316454576228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19091487828544174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18310613462967665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28573151075393965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18918276303513426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1673789456602788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11743588071161183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40516829167832985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3330706566823901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13341857359799866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18117590276552487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1514761152674767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11104677773579172,0.0,0.0,0.1010554768314348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28598937348249176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12311082367819848,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,euphie_x,2020/04/17,"Acid and bipolar meds Looking for experiences with people who have had acid on any of the following meds:
- Lithium 
- Lamotrigine
- Sertraline or other SSRIs
- Latuda or other antipsychotics 

I'm considering trying it for the first time. From what I've read, I'm unlikely to experience hallucinations while on SSRIs but I'm curious about other experiences.",9.016016949152544,10.994582762711868,9.962500000000002,49.90781779661018,60.35593220338983,13.357627118644073,38.478813559322035,12.602617957971056,6.22577627118644,289,14,37,11,4,99,44,59,0.0,0.948,0.052000000000000005,0.4497,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,5,7,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,9,6,0,6,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,2,3,25,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1615456764233248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6971236820459461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20206432464572466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1994865311657224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5277405298338887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16469085888844662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376194774390337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13852034260795448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16128438158474942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kingbroot,2020/04/17,"really intense mood swings I (17m) have had symptoms of bipolar 2 since age 13 and was diagnosed at age 15-16. I’ve been on lithium for a couple years now and my stability is way better with than without it. Usually the bad emotion I experience in mood swings is being really depressed but sometimes, especially more recently it’s switched to really intense anger. These periods of anger don’t last that long (maybe a couple hours max) but they’re so intense and damaging to my best friend (17f) and my life that i consider them much worse than the depression. I have a complicated history with her (we dated for 10 months prior to very close friendship), so naturally there are topics that will cause us to argue. I don’t have a problem with that as a concept, but I do have a problem that sometimes this ‘triggers’ me to get into this very angry mindset where it doesn’t feel like it’s myself anymore. It’s like my actions are on some kind of autopilot and even if I try to fight it, irrational thoughts will always prevail and have the final say. I know I hurt her feelings when I’m like this and I want to take responsibility for my actions and prevent that from ever happening again but it’s so hard when I don’t feel like I’m in control during these times. My mind moves so fast and I’ll believe anything that fuels my anger it seems. I try to tell myself what’s true (for example I’ll genuinely believe that she doesn’t put effort into our friendship even though I’m trying to tell myself that’s not true and there are many real examples of how she does logically). Sometimes when I’m making a point in an argument, I’ll say ‘am I wrong about that?’ not to sound condescending but because I genuinely don’t know if anything I said is real in those moments. Im seeing a new therapist again (which has never helped me before tbh) but I really don’t know how much that will help.

I’m posting this because I want to know from other people who may have similar mood swings to this: how do you get yourself to take control when it seems impossible? How do you properly apologize to someone for being an irrational prick meaningfully if you don’t know how you can prevent it from happening again? 

I’m really scared that I’ll lose my best friend someday because of this. She’s patient with me and there are so many good and healthy aspects to our relationship itself, but this brings out the worst of it. I know my behaviour is very toxic and I want it to stop, but I don’t know how to control myself when it doesn’t feel like I’m the one in control.",5.695062280421594,6.0770001683168315,6.488770360907058,77.55616416480359,67.11881188118812,9.605237943149154,32.329926541041196,9.536714749202195,2.9045637176620893,2035,81,389,39,31,673,225,505,0.16699999999999998,0.701,0.132,-0.9827,0,0,0,0,1,0,39.0,4,4,1,9,29,34,6,1,15,0,39,5,1,13,4,82,73,42,0,8,14,0,5,5,2,4,4,4,0,0,39,22,0,7,16,0,0,5,14,17,0,1,5,10,50,14,51,62,7,50,0,5,1,0,28,14,1,7,34,257,89,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05989059544467104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07138180206864153,0.0,0.0,0.11846180805943053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06009775388674363,0.13162945754806954,0.0,0.06124709034917888,0.16218676878285807,0.1510707546878789,0.06365777066768237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07394016336835824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3229131172320917,0.0,0.15928227116308927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12398729781316314,0.07305509779729015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062987521447227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08096439050408019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09508020454653132,0.0651072797422682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07040727673052583,0.0,0.0,0.14557485157845007,0.20568141420067707,0.0,0.07884723985548991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11121843921587712,0.0,0.07520998017722318,0.0,0.0,0.06037085788502819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12729797342782853,0.0,0.06447721712073302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09648927617695996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07088280549049733,0.0,0.07705282276122921,0.0,0.07774746651242317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07495292618841858,0.2768965783072764,0.05867082783254229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05083945441601054,0.175821531187495,0.0,0.0,0.06369734330964072,0.0,0.0805238055937468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0480451787240291,0.1459466774229745,0.07231052919664695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07267620978332609,0.0,0.05745132159244105,0.07650011602355954,0.10582269257809844,0.0,0.05551306765131546,0.06951579505787356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04877344987319175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04989976029525822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06804149081278972,0.0,0.06893402999556081,0.0,0.0,0.13774445721096182,0.0,0.07235672348447998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16385107312047706,0.2305514135244377,0.0,0.07106856317601859,0.07727631682842656,0.0,0.0,0.06846657011257529,0.11447793272138145,0.07206149196298542,0.0,0.057356317054219084,0.13105023954680234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059540083879200234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060985843382077874,0.0,0.21356115727452765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060175960239688624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07481161939010388,0.1082354303318572,0.0,0.12582206852310987,0.0,0.0,0.08357079646824672,0.0,0.0,0.07071699630140313,0.057141665162600434,0.041970343337852815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14660289043545469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08657941881344429,0.0,0.07927245098445708,0.17816558645395256,0.12736162498583267,0.0571319594235329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06938321951196091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07335066989805211,0.0,0.07869550501213858,0.0,0.04635080143122504
bipolarreddit,finessethaplug,2020/04/17,"Have any of you felt this way? i am not diagnosed, and I'm in no way self diagnosing, but this may get deleted anyways. I want to describe my experiences with mental health, and see if any of you can relate, my dad won't take me to a psychiatrist so I thought maybe if others with a labeled issue can relate he'll take me. 

I am a female, and I have identified this way most of my life, but when I hit 13, it changed. I was going through a very tough time and discovered a video about a transgender girl. I began researching, and somehow concluded that this was me. It felt so real, I identified myself as a boy for months. I changed my entire wardrobe, cut my hair, and went by a male name. 

Once I started back in therapy, I began to change my mind, some days (weeks, or a month or two) I may feel feminine. I felt wrong for trying to be a boy because I was a girl, and I'd dress feminine and wear make up. For a good three years it was constantly back and forth. I told everyone I was genderfluid, and I just couldn't decide. 

But later on I started keeping track of when I felt one way vs the other, and I noticed a pattern. When I was sad/anxious or felt more depressed, I'd dress masculine. When I had a good week and felt motivated and happy, I would be much more confident and dress in a feminine way.

I'm not saying this is being bipolar, but years later (I dress feminine all the time now) and I still can't identify why I did those things. My thinking is when I was depressed a dressed like a boy, and dressing feminine could be mania. 

Has anyone that's diagnosed had this issue or dealt with their feelings this way? Or was I just a confused middle school kid.",4.325398063474985,4.8360202218934925,5.553297471759013,82.6125067240452,70.15384615384616,8.98569123184508,29.860677783754703,9.095868883498916,2.3262260355029585,1297,49,271,24,22,434,172,338,0.073,0.843,0.084,0.6406,0,0,0,0,0,0,45.0,0,2,1,2,16,10,1,1,20,0,31,8,2,3,1,64,59,35,0,6,16,1,9,1,0,5,6,1,0,8,16,19,0,1,13,1,0,2,6,6,0,3,22,11,43,4,23,25,6,39,0,2,1,0,16,6,0,13,26,187,59,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174534472907198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0603838529215083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13280867175665664,0.0,0.05264332417053443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2740674441474328,0.0,0.0,0.0933228309317761,0.0,0.06895021439739138,0.0,0.0,0.055694071440499225,0.0,0.14876085414444531,0.26295609968790906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08251922267187499,0.0,0.08447515841663411,0.0,0.0,0.08733087842350727,0.0,0.4975060668644088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04511873832515571,0.0,0.04907951087852135,0.14486678140115514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09193020135080228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09179501950627664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802716203391632,0.0,0.07675937958039919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060997544075522214,0.04219038823775252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05764495194724947,0.0,0.08675869445223147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08702903001339228,0.0,0.08719744065751135,0.0,0.137861020000573,0.0,0.06348341488780995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09831969497403586,0.0,0.09196895632278736,0.05851873692449325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09829484963296936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06867572466167203,0.0,0.08739938609792855,0.06881652287013068,0.0,0.09009072241488393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12224994469517175,0.0,0.06896598885155575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12986164993386354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09875844117931576,0.0,0.05737273279582785,0.05533502310585499,0.0,0.06855898198244209,0.1007126412752866,0.0,0.0,0.08251922267187499,0.0,0.058631735094042924,0.0,0.08435968067368932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07125478520112884,0.05093646540757591,0.4112840218002516,0.1385431174822902,0.0,0.0,0.08005517054168351,0.07792509053997722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06134658214957149,0.09441943448574257,0.0,0.11122405170211856
bipolarreddit,enimicmic,2020/04/17,"I'm losing my mind When this outbreak started, I was allowed to work from home for two weeks. After that, there was just too much work I had to physically be in the office for piling up. I have a very important audit coming up for work in a week, and I feel like I have nothing done that I need to do, so I am super stressed about that.

On Friday last week, I had a zoom appointment with my psychiatrist. I've been a patient of hers for about a year and a half? She talks a bit about my life and stuff before going into the mental health questions. I was honest and told her I haven't been doing well recently, and she said she thinks I'm in a mixed episode. She upped my dose of seroquel.

Over the past two weeks, I have been jumping from constant irritability to apathy to overwhelming sadness (usually over nothing) to complete rage. It does not take much for me to fly off the handle or completely break down depending where I am at mood wise at the moment. I have been sleeping around 2 hours a night and honestly don't feel tired, so I feel like I'm elevating to a level I won't be able to control. 

I'm very fortunate to have a boyfriend who loves me as much as he does. He told me he knows who I am as a person when I am stable, so he doesn't let the things I say when I am unstable affect him as much. He said he understands it's not words from my heart and that it is us as a team against my mental health. He's been dealing with some mental health issues as well, so he supports me when I need it and vice versa. I sent him a bouquet of sunflowers set to be delivered some time tomorrow, and I am excited for him to get them :)

In other stress-inducing news, for some reason, I have always been the only one who is able to convince my younger brother to do homework. With this ""distance learning"" thing, I was called in to help him after he was already three weeks behind. I went over Tuesday night and had to teach myself geometry again so that I could help him. I told him he needed to do his English homework on his own because 1. It's only answering a few questions on the book they're reading 2. I never had to read Animal Farm in school so I really don't want to add reading an entire book onto what I already have going on. I asked him to finish the English assignments he was late on on Wednesday morning, and then he called to let me know he read chapter two (not even an assignment just the prerequisite for the actual assignments) and he was going to go to the creek with his friends. I told him he shouldn't be hanging out with other people and if he wasn't going to do any work on his own, I wasn't going to go over there to help him. So I didn't. Wednesday night, I came home and was actually able to de-stress a bit and it was nice. He called today (Thursday) while I was at work and told me he did x,y,z assignments or whatever and I believed him and said I would come over after work. I could have *easily* spent four or five more hours at the office finishing what I needed to get done, but I left to go help him. I got to my parent's house and went up to his room and he tried to play off some already completed assignments as what he did for the past two days, but I wrote his missing assignments down Tuesday and they have not changed. I decided to stay and help anyway. I got him almost caught up in geometry, English (yes I ended up reading chapters one and two to help), and biology. Then he said he would work on geography. *Here's where I completely lost my shit.* His teacher assigns one state every day of the week. He has to do two a week and can do any of the others during the week for extra credit. He opened it, the teacher put in six headings and gave a link to copy and paste from. It'll say ""how it got it's name"" then he says ""first and last sentence"" and the kids just have to find that specific header on that page and copy and paste what he tells them to. It took him ten minutes max. He has 15 of these. Six are required. NINE can be put in for extra credit. How many has he done? Two. Counting the one he did in front of me. I lost it and basically told him to go fuck himself for wasting my time. I told him I was there to help him understand things, not to babysit and watch him do his work. Then I said I didn't care if he fails.

Did I overreact? Maybe. Am I pissed at him for not being able to do simple tasks? Definitely.

tl;dr: it has been a very rocky two weeks, too much is happening, and my mental health is tanking. Only thing holding me together right now is my boyfriend and the fact he's getting the flowers I sent tomorrow.",3.5549998393264564,4.400751983032876,4.760427552299242,86.38094725087568,72.11770943796394,7.878460104759152,26.37695620039205,8.150884317080207,1.4617594202898545,3572,114,769,51,66,1181,360,943,0.055,0.873,0.071,0.8039,4,0,0,0,0,0,103.0,1,0,3,17,34,31,4,2,43,1,90,14,5,7,2,110,157,67,0,12,16,2,3,2,1,5,7,8,5,2,38,48,0,3,16,9,4,23,17,12,2,21,60,12,113,18,129,82,18,135,0,7,1,2,114,50,3,13,60,532,151,33,0.1619458094547871,0.0,0.07901787453200433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040541333786315116,0.0,0.13403342082826192,0.0,0.03368797166867279,0.0,0.0,0.055064351893845016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036041526230049255,0.037849367690724785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.024680165579244788,0.0,0.034450988993387416,0.04561436759163714,0.0,0.0,0.08840144016385633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12402358356022995,0.04630571579009294,0.041278636465392864,0.0,0.042829298288784935,0.06975098759167356,0.16979710006538185,0.04375147192945052,0.045408998958806686,0.06465027559959921,0.0,0.0,0.05222082482789592,0.04173975463281378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07085993459371784,0.12429509209225695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03585897977851667,0.0,0.0,0.02674091994939552,0.0,0.0341115822827867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0614135003905997,0.05784705931640133,0.0,0.0,0.037003883986491286,0.0344377556980467,0.0,0.0,0.031279732665204715,0.03742907282023578,0.0634575010300013,0.0,0.2070844550005476,0.0,0.09714214338917486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035802036116654806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0415507804669426,0.17214082252297966,0.0,0.047976640985648536,0.18996050921118185,0.0,0.08122242556867695,0.0,0.07974200040692328,0.046715930212559306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04225733755714817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04450059081377363,0.06600372466245462,0.0456704817319879,0.0,0.043988648954917366,0.08280028116590131,0.02859677863112205,0.03955927115040247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04529398416153546,0.08839149071761451,0.0,0.036540603954872165,0.0,0.0,0.041046908096816784,0.04067408314839403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632032858695352,0.0,0.04087977549712367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14881100459115795,0.120080765702824,0.03122564797350051,0.0,0.0,0.11398137874749155,0.0,0.07769568593725118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10973867167705473,0.09237531423602084,0.0,0.0,0.04495541410127714,0.0,0.15459559967489134,0.02806820834922583,0.03535120856871361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0814001341173856,0.0907081848144881,0.0,0.20248704286345934,0.0,0.02593665809904649,0.041626816038999495,0.039975487387144085,0.0,0.0,0.03457520910437963,0.19255943751089089,0.0965893557804644,0.0,0.04097445126059416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04155876154538093,0.0,0.0,0.04051569119539929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028656519365651282,0.04315317132580393,0.0,0.0,0.1391312831795125,0.0,0.04634730165757029,0.0,0.0459435463561561,0.0,0.0,0.03044077357633491,0.032541476810381005,0.03538694387849406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075895998169011,0.02594208390336102,0.0,0.0,0.04721595191339382,0.046533221194328726,0.038376422884165685,0.2708057816961825,0.044981938265842535,0.0274876435544193,0.0,0.3163950483817227,0.08429564948407718,0.048700217228128916,0.0,0.04459010739570567,0.10021668985305232,0.02387995857191869,0.0,0.292282109828977,0.0,0.07280436580485072,0.07506269391511226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2357969560967333,0.0,0.0,0.057520828292207615,0.0,0.0,0.02607194792173875
bipolarreddit,nationwideisonyours,2020/04/17,"Friend in mania keeps texting me Pictures, memes, emoji's, concepts that make no sense multiple times a day.  I think this lockdown and resulting stress has hit her pretty hard. She's always been a 'go-getter' type, but she's crossed the proverbial line.

I care about her, but I am 3000 miles away, and there is little I can do except let her know I am worried about her.  She is taking risks (recently she texted me that she stood in a hot zone city grocery store and handed out gloves.)   She's in a high-risk group to begin with. 

I texted her a few days ago and told her for my own mental health, I am signing off texting for awhile and will get with her in the future.  Experiencing her like this is very disturbing though. I'd like to help, and I'd like to be able to use my phone notifications again and get shit done rather than attend to multiple texts a day.  Advice?",5.787745664739887,5.66847682080925,5.753531791907518,84.62578901734108,66.91907514450868,8.538497109826592,27.12658959537573,7.908726449838941,1.3720686705202307,682,17,143,7,10,214,111,173,0.111,0.768,0.121,0.433,0,1,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,0,6,9,1,3,8,0,14,3,2,3,0,21,27,10,0,1,4,0,3,3,1,1,1,0,0,0,4,10,0,1,2,0,1,2,1,4,0,0,4,4,25,5,20,19,2,20,0,0,0,0,19,9,1,0,12,87,29,1,0.17558703850428248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17158162185836898,0.1556473153183777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14610248201994647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16496980264663144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17902268801779028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33971734164598144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17968650290754265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356581103859273,0.0,0.18347396106146086,0.0,0.09979016038687397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572914976906659,0.0,0.0,0.1866408111099649,0.0,0.0,0.117692290693499,0.18551734657714514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560698275596944,0.0,0.0,0.09649804436419046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17954964325645625,0.0,0.2573488733078821,0.17598434095142326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11720571165730766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17695043630011276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17863514283866233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1733710175448184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18023757177110195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20113435935997834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13201960087865838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11250908437967316,0.17251337382636908,0.0,0.1023862141854065,0.0,0.0,0.1677809399080682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15165082501402705,0.0,0.14487769572831413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17831716079877538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,curiousjess95,2020/04/17,"Considering taking Lamictal and Gabapentin for Mood disorder. But anxious and unsure how I feel about taking a new psych medication. I was told I suffer from an Anxiety disorder/ptsd and depression from trauma. 
They left it at you may have a mood disorder and I would try these two drugs (Lamictal)/ (Gabapentin)
I have taken Prozac in the past and apparently if you do have some type of mood disorder or bipolar in general any antidepressant can negatively affect you. Long story short I took the Prozac first prescribed to me to try for severe days and the first couple days the anxiety just kept getting worse and worse and then on the fifth day I experienced extreme anxiety and panic attacks I couldn’t eat or sleep and was so shaky I couldn’t think and kept pacing and my thoughts were racing... 
Gosh that drug made me feel psychotic and bipolar. I thought I had permanently damaged myself. An it took weeks to recover from it.  Furthermore, I already have pretty bad anxiety and panic attacks and have them frequently but mainly at night. I Have had  panic attacks and anxiety since I was about nine years old. Anyways In the First week of taking it I had what seemed to be a psychotic break or a bad side effect from the medication and when I woke up from a dream I started to hear ringing noises and the sounds in the room were really loud and amplified and also in the middle of the night I could still hear the voices from my dreams still when my eyes were open. Only when I completely woke up they weren’t so loud or noticeable. To note I don’t hear voices or see things normally that aren’t there. I’ve never experienced anything like that prior. I felt more anxious and stressed then I have ever felt in my life. It was one of the worst experiences I’ve ever been through.  I’m not entirely sure but I felt like I was dissociating from Reality (maybe hallucinating) which keep in mind I’ve struggled with PTSD and depersonalization/derealization so I wasn’t sure if maybe the overload of serotonin caused me to have these terrible side effects. That’s was another theory besides the fact if I am bipolar antidepressants are a huge NO NO... 
So now I’m super afraid to take the Lamictal and gabapentin that I was prescribed even though I took depakote and it didn’t effect me negatively in the past which was for mood disorders(which also didn’t help at all) I took that for a few months. 
Lamictal is a new drug and my anxiety is stressing me out. I’m worried about the laundry list of side effects and about one of the side effects called (Stevens Johnson syndrome) in particular. Or what if it causes me to have another psychotic episode or worse side effect.. 😟
I don’t like to feel so vulnerable and out of control of my mind and body. But I also want to try it for the sake of it actually working. 
Please give me advice or share your experience 😭",4.983395712528555,6.825306677121773,5.705956773853455,77.13851168511687,69.86715867158671,9.147144614303286,30.247935336496223,9.606745405546679,2.9380636443507284,2297,94,418,54,42,747,241,542,0.19399999999999998,0.757,0.048,-0.9969,3,0,3,0,0,0,43.0,0,4,3,12,26,30,3,8,30,0,43,15,3,12,7,94,80,59,0,10,18,0,6,3,0,2,11,9,1,0,22,32,1,4,16,2,0,4,15,19,0,7,35,19,52,7,56,39,6,65,0,3,2,0,15,28,0,16,35,290,74,3,0.0,0.0,0.060395339911990566,0.0,0.0,0.0604778188553816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06829673293064907,0.1484793165174735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042087062824187504,0.1297933223777431,0.2840723322404893,0.1398353053138554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05092988263831753,0.0,0.0,0.2112251269504322,0.0,0.0,0.10335049253149338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06874541407033885,0.0,0.0,0.06319622010071847,0.0,0.0,0.12715537283440018,0.0,0.0,0.06489008743436579,0.0,0.06941446966077465,0.049413824319713986,0.06847968564375635,0.0,0.1197410516789292,0.0,0.05330543767404389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21279259378965545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21531692620856416,0.0633285304236105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040877509284280834,0.11196540625178662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210798450406992,0.0,0.0,0.09387975197366656,0.0,0.17827121786991765,0.0,0.0,0.15792983348448944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032334771234746734,0.05937016145013735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20926229394473692,0.0,0.041483306662712785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055010336525068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0672432515209056,0.0,0.04371446779715744,0.09070842421222576,0.0,0.0,0.05477036476608742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058561453395659165,0.0,0.0,0.12435288050482135,0.0,0.0,0.1246945589190615,0.0,0.0,0.1249817437534166,0.0,0.0493997029768672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04773308911435957,0.11954675829464473,0.0,0.11615842877514865,0.0606386856603269,0.0,0.07046174079479997,0.06494274359766228,0.0,0.08387601434080154,0.04706984367612303,0.0,0.21784239712596226,0.0,0.0,0.11816128751326273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0679362159427691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062963991672252,0.0,0.0,0.14469130404320033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039648074346483236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04931801302023029,0.05634198421565208,0.0,0.0699176526569277,0.0,0.05119573192267934,0.0,0.061934314381597314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04380579047547178,0.0,0.09885025846344757,0.0,0.14178869763810525,0.06470046686960408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11666046589102905,0.0,0.186133163233294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04111671245538853,0.03965636850265519,0.060806235885880175,0.09826688780671873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05913818264010591,0.2750465732019052,0.12605696513715228,0.0,0.060457164301936775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036504100460235424,0.0,0.0992882375755802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04505637932562629,0.06285191171870418,0.18921242570308897,0.04396460923939513,0.0,0.0,0.03985488514407872
bipolarreddit,Angela533x,2020/04/17,"I don't know what to do!!! So my 21 year old son has moved back home,he has adhd and his behaviour is out of control,my 10 year old son and my daughter have had enough of him,my mental health has got worse and I'm thinking of ending it all,I know I can't because my kids need me but tonight he has kicked off called me a weirdo and a mong and told me my bipolar tablets must of worn off even though I did nothing wrong,I didn't name call or shout I just said I'm not arguing with you,I don't know what to do anymore,I want to tell him to go but he's my son and I don't want to give up on him",1.8115027977617901,1.6573703741007222,3.4218225419664283,98.03802557953638,75.47482014388491,6.753317346123103,23.358113509192645,5.82211442006289,0.02443341326938464,458,11,127,2,9,153,81,139,0.07400000000000001,0.877,0.048,-0.6492,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,5,1,1,0,2,0,16,2,0,0,1,22,31,11,0,4,5,4,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,1,3,8,0,0,4,0,0,2,6,1,0,0,7,2,16,0,15,23,1,14,0,0,0,0,18,5,0,1,7,68,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20573456943075685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13163291581320724,0.0,0.10435454503098003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3496039385414736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920017680369031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15162165375459066,0.17688284532883225,0.0,0.1130679827114198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16421901691059532,0.09729001936655507,0.0,0.13691458895284778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18196471532945352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717154052171332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2822411518920161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725171230090818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819456286874173,0.0,0.12693364669348134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16425939142949345,0.0,0.3592657742068608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16283887908571587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14962575581675133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10969028364896363,0.1681912266248335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16357735902729234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20194209833234686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17445507854045905,0.0,0.1871670773662328,0.0,0.22047876905108726
bipolarreddit,drsdn,2020/04/17,"Could lamotrigine or low dose lithium be for me? Treatment resistant depressed with irritability and impulsivity issues that aren't clearly cyclic I will not focus on diagnosing since it's so complex. I just wanna know if you feel I could benefit from lamotrigine.
I have severe depression that manifests itself as extreme fatigue and a socially avoidant behavior, brain fog and apathy. I don't have so many negative thoughts anymore, but some days i am highly irritable and snap at people. I usually attribute it to feeling so bad in my body and not being able to think straight. I have a somewhat impulsive tendency as in making risky financial choices, some drug abuse, riding a bike on the fast lane(not so much chasing adrenaline, I just don't seem to wanna acknowledge the risks of my behaviors, I act as if there were no risks in my life)
I can't tell if these symptoms are cyclical, or not, I feel it's more like part of my personality, like BPD or something)

I tried several antidepressants with no success, so maybe lamotrigine or low dose lithium will help?",8.403504474799814,8.804643321243526,8.616457842675462,64.5372444653792,61.383419689119165,12.199528968440886,41.379651436646256,11.741389052700956,5.301294300518135,863,46,139,25,11,284,126,193,0.228,0.6709999999999999,0.10099999999999999,-0.9733,0,1,2,0,1,0,20.0,0,1,0,1,8,13,0,3,5,0,16,9,2,2,1,40,24,21,0,7,13,0,3,2,0,2,7,0,0,1,7,7,0,1,9,1,0,2,10,9,0,0,2,3,19,4,20,16,6,15,0,5,0,0,5,10,0,11,5,100,26,1,0.15443452065053653,0.18297965365118754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15315754669172402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12894637400896095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17154193767220954,0.19450487252266446,0.1723999996084631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2466067965762741,0.0,0.0,0.09959748977046906,0.0,0.2660284526823745,0.15674778763917335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17909501423929775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23426020163718286,0.1103280524102196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10351420385207316,0.16316855011084488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16118951621105215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08487317373790375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10908166910684566,0.1508978120018014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10308624173793922,0.1565723644831526,0.15515023340387196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11352714214183544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16723753633035698,0.0,0.10706545149949714,0.1348462666148981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14059138744529154,0.0,0.3489341005929524,0.0,0.12774983136442575,0.0,0.0,0.15742654540544332,0.0,0.11889123898481445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16051659887775335,0.0,0.0,0.1349825780256057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989554050402292,0.0,0.12260375889317175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10485090217353747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1700878061518298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,emomachine,2020/04/18,"Weed and bipolar disorder - posted this to r/leaves “Hey guys,
I had a BIG weed problem from 17-23. Smoking every single day, only breaks when I had to - either around family or when my dealers were out. I realized I was ill but couldn’t help but lighting up. Weed calmed me sometimes and other times it made me forget my problems.

Case in point;
So little did I know I have had bipolar disorder all this time. Symptoms started when I was in my early teens for real. I knew I was prone to arguments, swinged between energetic and depressed to the point of suicidal ideations. Alcohol made me buzzed, anxious and feel relief - all at the same time. But I HAD to have weed. Drinking without winding down on weed was unthinkable for me. I knew I had a problem when I started experimenting with MDMA and would do 400-500 mg in one roll. DANGEROUS! 

So weed “helped” but made my hypomanic phases unproductive - and my depressions worse. When it started affecting my productivity in school I knew I had a problem. So I quit weed thinking it would solve everything. It didn’t. I kept on relapsing aswell. 

I had NO serious idea of what bipolar disorder is. I knew I was a bit more emotional and sensitive than almost all my friends though - and gravitated more towards addictive behavior than most of them. I even heard about an acquaintance having bipolar disorder and brushed it off like “surely she’s just a bitch, self centered and can’t cope with life” “Everybody has their ups and downs”

BOY WAS I WRONG. No wonder I thought it was normal. We were in the same boat!

Now I’m on meds and absolutely capable of controlling my substance abuse. Weed isn’t good for my mental health, but some here and there is no biggie. Point is I don’t need it as a crutch to survive. Bipolar is dangerous (25% attempt suicide) and should not be taken lightly. There are good meds to cope. You ABSOLUTELY need them for the sake of your own good and not least for those around you. In my opinion. I lead a destructive lifestyle, and I had a feeling I wouldn’t make it to 30 from when I was around 18. That is fucked when I think about it now after gaining stability. 

I’m not saying I think everyone with a drug problem has bipolar disorder, far from it. But statistics show a lot of people go undiagnosed and self medicate. If you have a drug problem - go see a healthcare professional and let them help you evaluate the possibility. I was a long time lurker at r/leaves and hoped everything would sort itself out if I quit. When it didn’t I was devastated. I hope I can help someone with this post. Please don’t brush this off - think about it and read up. If you find it hard to quit - seek help. Even if you don’t have underlying mental illness. But be warned.

Thank you for your attention! Keep on fighting the good fight!! And feel free to ask me anything.”",3.3146732026143764,5.686448685185188,4.294596949891069,83.13127450980393,76.03703703703705,7.716775599128541,27.99564270152505,8.613243077465945,2.2757603485838778,2230,94,423,47,51,721,262,540,0.212,0.6559999999999999,0.132,-0.9951,0,0,4,0,4,1,69.0,1,9,4,8,26,30,7,0,20,0,52,18,0,7,4,107,89,46,2,21,18,0,4,1,1,5,16,2,0,4,22,31,2,3,18,3,1,3,16,17,0,1,34,11,65,14,64,46,15,60,0,2,1,1,31,33,2,14,22,297,87,4,0.0,0.07623573887453668,0.0,0.07014318826157474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06876292344697596,0.06443005564037893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07268908986989164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05294867140813378,0.17183629571285364,0.060151865725979886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0702457119253622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07216596140893143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04149580607019331,0.0,0.1108367801949816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3687123205141674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06303148340301779,0.14923452380455327,0.0,0.0,0.07237702984255764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08499567228328586,0.0,0.0542116141527438,0.061482336853635675,0.11565438373671705,0.06293963972719188,0.060656699122991764,0.0,0.0976010130325912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0588081861520931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04971111524494562,0.05948391478895095,0.0,0.0,0.07313503260794503,0.21587087140711786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06370952329951735,0.0,0.0,0.05763854255751096,0.0,0.0,0.06839342553204303,0.0,0.0,0.2156382323718808,0.0,0.0,0.1278139078512068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07263522965736102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057190868736172434,0.0,0.0,0.035361139784811375,0.0,0.0,0.13625954524773584,0.0,0.0657949088537244,0.04544724769170602,0.03143465943606457,0.06448842483102678,0.0,0.05694138483486976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054701977982231816,0.0,0.1826482406242551,0.04294934245351762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429407707956468,0.06481863774824591,0.12968488955852098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09541879475834912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06304231769884615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0436003706693573,0.04893562594161901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04460722074903252,0.0,0.0,0.07062911179691915,0.1824743315090311,0.07253687955199133,0.1232453011773129,0.0,0.0,0.3694044243945345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20530957761817645,0.0643602477753324,0.0732362334548682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051168005473172684,0.0,0.06511838481853831,0.051272909550072014,0.0,0.13424722055185165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05451747587991483,0.0,0.06363670973965889,0.0,0.13662657081684976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14076123796052542,0.0,0.060642361171833574,0.06687684271389335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059238238370932825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16491316424178756,0.06321650937920366,0.05108102437353058,0.1500752996893408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06202419752590928,0.06977706062441412,0.0,0.0,0.06557084653055432,0.13712191316453246,0.07034879011967195,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Adolf_H8,2020/04/18,"Since we don't have insane asylums anymore, what do we do with all the people who are too mentally ill to fit into society, but haven't actually committed any crime to warrant them going to jail? Sometimes I feel like I should be in some sort of long term institution, honestly... surely it's less cruel than being thrown out homeless on the street?",9.480454545454542,7.710053409090911,9.438484848484851,66.57772727272727,60.36363636363636,12.436363636363636,38.66666666666667,11.20814326018867,4.345975757575758,279,11,48,6,3,92,57,66,0.18100000000000002,0.684,0.135,-0.6718,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,2,0,1,0,1,4,1,0,2,0,9,1,0,0,3,13,11,1,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,1,5,3,10,8,4,9,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,2,3,34,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.3336167584295901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324839878654335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33904414607686645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17286023823067884,0.2442326945405945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19429315485787546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670208909718153,0.0,0.0,0.3025450569182181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3445255362747036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23701029013637676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2827992052758303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33811913823499234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3222093502923057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,emilylinhla,2020/04/18,"Experiences on Seroquel and Strattera? Does the Seroquel “cancel out” the helpful parts of Strattera, or do they work well together? Strattera is really putting me on edge with racing thoughts so I’m on 250 mg Seroquel that’s taming it into something I can control, which is great. My question is, will my Seroquel dose effect the attentative benefits of Strattera too?",5.907864583333333,8.895317390625003,5.716875000000003,73.07395833333338,70.40625,7.3916666666666675,38.79166666666666,8.344100000000001,3.9220604166666657,299,18,42,5,6,93,49,64,0.028999999999999998,0.7979999999999999,0.17300000000000001,0.879,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,3,3,3,0,0,3,0,6,1,0,2,0,10,8,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,5,3,8,6,1,6,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,2,0,31,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3373233338498862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26319352905380505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29419699661147325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3315844594084791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20159035098831746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32568934883019873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3023427651555738,0.3369154574058335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926719412341992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2315365979207564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2387666027271149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.270415688026921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2189538890032591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,CrowHardly,2020/04/18,"Having trouble finding the right anti-psychotic. Need help. My doctor originally prescribed me Vraylar which I felt started working wonderfully but then the akathisia started and made my life a living hell. So now trying Seroquel it’s only doing the same thing.

Since all of these medicines to treat myself cause these. Just what am I supposed to do to help myself?",4.998772321428568,8.249270796875003,4.569464285714286,78.58625000000002,75.40625,5.5321428571428575,31.017857142857146,6.868970318607317,2.2008732142857137,297,14,43,3,7,90,54,64,0.114,0.73,0.157,0.2846,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,3,3,1,0,4,0,4,2,0,3,1,12,10,4,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,7,1,4,8,2,6,1,0,0,0,2,1,1,1,5,33,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26537061705632864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.264406267979008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24803221463101616,0.0,0.23610408815100065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3462991910206664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824623692264824,0.0,0.0,0.2281054353863716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2444330691957553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1915444855808196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19646756849740346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2206078751408867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21368885432258086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36568709256998905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17161944654629988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17538550869971192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28014210861693145,0.1880634520970985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,wordvomiter246,2020/04/18,"Seroquel Hi guys. So my dose of Seroquel was recently upped from 100mg to 200mg two weeks ago. I take it in the evenings and literally about an hour after taking it I’m sleepy, lightheaded, spacey and have a slight headache. Do these side effects ease with time? I’m loving how well I sleep but currently going to bed every night at 7pm is getting a bit boring. TIA xx",1.5950999999999986,3.93543936,2.855583333333332,91.287375,82.06666666666666,5.883333333333333,22.708333333333336,7.1686216300943375,0.7942333333333341,292,10,61,4,8,94,65,75,0.039,0.8109999999999999,0.15,0.81,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,5,3,0,0,4,0,4,3,1,2,0,6,11,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,1,0,3,2,10,10,1,13,0,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,8,32,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23401244144825264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2882102278404993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743638252271576,0.0,0.22242413434665986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13792460693057845,0.0,0.1500323922508918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2613929836069324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2599783449583791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2382625389754453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24773803893917434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26065965229816257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2641820442946945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39697734660497497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15393550414384638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578812313823175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2117579716433248,0.0,0.2373599662800307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,workworkinprogress,2020/04/18,"Studying Abroad while Bipolar Has anyone attempted to study abroad?

I really want to but I just realized Hey! What if I have an episode in a foreign country? How will I see my psychiatrist and get medication refills? 

To attempt would be really complicated.
 
What is are this community’s thoughts/suggestions?",4.099481132075471,7.46833769811321,5.2503537735849095,69.22005896226415,87.11320754716982,9.44245283018868,34.926886792452834,9.188382445141503,4.906473584905662,250,15,37,9,8,82,45,53,0.0,0.946,0.054000000000000006,0.3712,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,0,7,2,0,1,0,8,10,5,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,4,7,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,1,27,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.315688480719539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2358820324427728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.45482316511298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5784651013235399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3597747162890101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.266297273190618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3207216561902501,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,georgiaokeefe123,2020/04/19,"Starting a new job with recent diagnosis Hi everyone, 
I was recently ( about a month ago) diagnosed with bipolar w/ mixed episodes. A hypomanic episode was triggered by a recent move to a new city where I only know my boyfriend. I just graduated college and I am starting a very high stress job in July. With this diagnosis and seeing how my last two large stressful events played out (last summer I had a very large episode triggered by stress which ended in almost involuntary hospitalization) I am very very nervous about continuing into this position in the fall. The job involves 14 hour days, 5 days a week, along with a coach constantly with you teaching you how to do your job on the job. It includes extra work after work hours and on weekends that is unpaid. I can’t even see how I would have time for a weekly therapy appointment at this point. It is a prestigious government service program though, so I would really like to be able to do it, but I’m just not sure it’s possible. How do those in time demanding and stressful jobs handle it with having bipolar?",7.8432590909090925,7.767057135000003,7.843909090909094,71.20945454545455,62.65,11.072727272727272,37.18181818181819,10.637119530657019,4.015049999999999,857,38,150,19,11,277,123,200,0.092,0.888,0.02,-0.9114,6,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,3,0,2,12,8,0,5,14,0,16,3,0,6,1,28,22,11,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,0,11,13,0,0,1,3,0,2,2,5,0,1,3,2,14,3,26,16,1,40,0,0,2,0,5,12,0,1,27,99,25,14,0.0918732131845309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08144006017560602,0.0,0.0919977519461589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09928230489554317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11850124404546013,0.0,0.0,0.0932493774663542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08137239746709754,0.0,0.0,0.060681390831472816,0.0,0.0,0.08778879233787501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09706909391888208,0.0,0.0,0.18095321707454412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.547019926897759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05049111527412295,0.1497778617996225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04488461126671229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0733323222423112,0.09764668599985643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17746344358369526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06987371859237783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08684988250622326,0.10357324366161696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0588563329140852,0.0,0.2721411430581023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14642211208612346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13005666632168825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4209618211827782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08658941615160326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050650261064341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902649654880199,0.0,0.10714401886541837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08974677958128767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3032200904739645,0.0,0.0,0.14739029981968008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13376958680605294,0.0,0.0,0.13052818935005975,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ZelTheWise,2020/04/19,"I can’t find any info my symptom ? Hi, I’ve been on Lamictal for a little over a month and I’m taking 100mg in the morning. I was recently prescribed Seroquel 2 50mg for sleep after a hypomanic episode. After starting this medicine I’ve been getting this spasm/twitch that almost feels like it’s in my brain. That is the main spasm along with little spasms on my arm/ leg that are sparse and not that noticeable. Today I feel a slight pressure where the spasm was happening. 

Has anyone else had this problem ?",3.2952555555555563,5.467334370000002,3.9653333333333336,86.42322222222224,75.3,6.4444444444444455,26.11111111111111,7.3871296695380915,1.3778777777777782,407,15,77,5,9,129,71,100,0.064,0.9109999999999999,0.025,-0.5367,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,7,0,9,5,4,0,0,11,16,2,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,8,4,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,5,2,6,1,11,11,1,14,0,0,0,0,1,8,0,1,7,46,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2211708469636526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15020015633991368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15443844958875907,0.22630889638351845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.246565578758066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18450975036758552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.223358477679168,0.15779060416216284,0.0,0.0,0.20187249895067888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11539621367645447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1953158890301902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079066311892368,0.4427424250210116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1762974798518503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2514636036154833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21134414315238895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21808390542355371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22103095532661152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15633394531461664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22957000111632656,0.16606783855689003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20936030367089933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,silverlinin,2020/04/19,NAC supplements Is there anyone taking NAC supplements? if you do how are you finding it? If you don't I encourage you to take it. There are so many studies on its benefit for bipolar and other health problems. My psychiatrist has been telling me to take it.,3.2712244897959195,5.899459387755108,4.366693877551022,81.21044897959185,77.57142857142857,8.001632653061224,30.20816326530613,8.841846274778883,2.9158048979591844,206,10,37,5,5,67,36,49,0.109,0.8340000000000001,0.057,-0.4141,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,4,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,1,0,6,10,5,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,7,2,4,9,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,2,0,30,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2184068466628804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2854880765844114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33202023023910565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31668034757041363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2988828752781094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7045593836491858,0.0,0.27301324768394136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,burtspears2,2020/04/19,"A decade later and I""m still a mess...waiting on my gun to come in 33F high school social studies teacher here who was diagnosed bipolar in my early 20's.  

I have tried and tried and tried...and I just can't keep living for others...because this life of mine is not worth living.  Even my best days just aren't enough.  I don't find joy in anything and I never want to do anything.  My lows are so prolonged and intense...but my highs are fleeting.  

And when I say I've tried, I really have...been trying different medication combinations for about 13 years now...gone to years and years of therapy...tried EMDR...tried travelling...changing careers...inpatient hospitalizations...ECT treatments that left me with cognitive and memory deficits...smoking weed and then not smoking weed...yoga...diet...running.  But it never really gets better and if it does temporarily, it always comes back.  And I know I'll have to deal with this for the rest of my life.  That's just not okay with me.  

I'm just living for the sake of others at this point.  I force myself to put on an exhausting show for my friends and family so they think I'm okay.  I can't tell anyone about my intense suicidal ideations and intentions because they will force me into another inpatient hospitalization.  And, I swear I will end my life before I'm hospitalized ever again...one of the most traumatic experiences of my life that was ultimately a total waste of time and money...I have no idea how that was supposed to help.    

So, I've decided I want to commit suicide by shooting myself in the head in my car at a hospital.  Not only do I not want to leave a traumatizing mess/scene for my family, I'm hopeful that if I call 911 beforehand, they can find my body fast enough to preserve my organs so I can at least do something positive in death.  I'm wasting this body and I think others could do so much better with the healthy parts of me.  The idea of donating my organs brings me some peace.  

During one of my intense depressive states, I ordered a gun online and am impatiently waiting for it to come in to the local gun shop.  One of the reasons I have not committed suicide already is because I'm so depressed that the thought of having to go do something like purchase a gun just seems insurmountable.  I don't want to have to shower, get ready, interact with people, etc.  So, ordering somewhat eliminated that.  I'll still have to go in and pick it up...which means I'll have to put myself together enough and put on my ""normal girl"" persona so I don't seem suicidal, but I'll do it.  

And then I'll build up the courage to follow through with it.  I'll wait until I'm drowning in a depressive state and decide it's time.  It's equal parts scary and freeing...but, I'll finally be free of this terrible mental illness.  It's the only way out.  I'm just exhausted and hopeless.  I just want everyone I leave behind to know that I tried soo, soo hard for so long.  I think it's rational and reasonable that I get to take control and let go of this life.  

Thanks for listening.",3.614018332756832,5.490565852542376,4.825918367346941,81.90916464891046,73.52542372881356,8.070563818747837,27.634036665513662,8.783252456381064,2.207580421999308,2383,92,456,48,49,786,264,590,0.14300000000000002,0.7909999999999999,0.065,-0.9855,2,0,2,5,0,5,105.0,0,0,3,4,26,20,0,0,20,2,35,14,3,6,6,94,75,43,6,10,17,0,1,1,1,2,11,2,1,1,29,36,0,4,17,2,5,12,15,8,0,2,4,3,54,13,72,66,15,63,0,5,0,0,14,24,0,8,23,291,83,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07464321487689161,0.0,0.05628249639140367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07092719106831417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04729596311235879,0.0,0.11132509595406434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05201153732744702,0.0,0.12369946256914092,0.0,0.05755726948392453,0.0,0.07098476098323482,0.11964543752778566,0.0,0.15026717952859545,0.0,0.0,0.06906873629189916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07155491135212826,0.17479946905244506,0.0,0.0,0.07586481742422396,0.054005609760729316,0.0,0.0,0.043622667666651606,0.06973461069738453,0.1747765552321829,0.06865390546915122,0.0,0.07067015425754462,0.0,0.0,0.05919284859727422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05990959977743576,0.20967283119658425,0.07543728116326766,0.044676056645887176,0.06118490240314301,0.0,0.06463360522262006,0.0,0.06616560194622298,0.1275312990967051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07409710088353462,0.12364478261980605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05225905133643253,0.0,0.10601845097280836,0.0,0.11532533734310653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060592797800414974,0.0,0.06941889154654576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04533814781701349,0.1429322656934118,0.0,0.06718249569532042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.152716275899022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0601221785214865,0.0,0.0,0.07434713987902793,0.0,0.0,0.1432435087222145,0.07349183858315085,0.06916721748286023,0.23888319931244265,0.033045838402903226,0.0,0.1791839810586393,0.059859907358557486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07368057202149203,0.0,0.06814090774170706,0.06816593499868627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049723710951060485,0.0,0.10433738407718283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06627354266260728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09167020284579508,0.1028876288798829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14649661322873675,0.0,0.046893557459189904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06394234241124595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2039928138051962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08666475264357561,0.13909184836315291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05379061426462908,0.0,0.06845601830515287,0.0,0.12315513946091144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06895119433187649,0.0,0.1041462594823104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1080359303660364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2959518701003925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05085740233374829,0.0,0.05912096936949876,0.062274485793620674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13002432364019476,0.0,0.0536991749611836,0.07888369383940923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3214652547392508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1994812414605419,0.0536900539427668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13067521511127564
bipolarreddit,SheAManicManicOhoh,2020/04/19,"Im not giving up, they are NOT gonna win But, I am gonna take the time to mourn and do everything and nothing that I want to, to process these feelings and frankly: mourn the fact that I am never gonna get help or general understanding and Im gonna have to do this alone. 

It’s been 11 years since my first signs of psychological problems and cyclothimia. I have been knocking on every professionals door for at least the last 3/5 years. 

They cant diagnose me right. I have been diagnosed with borderline but thats just not right.

I found out friday for me to get help is AGAIN gonna take at least half a year and man im done waiting. Fuck them fuck my government fuck capitalism. I no longer feel like a citizen of my country because of how they have failed me. I need to mourn this loss, I need to mourn the fact that I will never ever get good help or medication or a diagnose and that I will have to do this myself. 

I have also decided that: fuck people with small ass problems crying about it ALL day and then judge me for dealing with my shit by going on an drinking binge or whatever. 

What I have read in this sub and what we go through on a daily: we are the strongest humans ever! And so creative and still uplifting and educating and trying. Were beautiful",4.116345486111111,5.132944679687501,5.0754166666666665,84.00569444444444,70.953125,8.657638888888886,27.503472222222207,8.998388855275968,1.979244618055556,1002,34,210,19,18,328,138,256,0.262,0.679,0.06,-0.9953,0,1,1,0,0,0,20.0,2,0,4,4,9,16,5,0,10,0,23,11,2,1,7,50,48,23,4,5,10,0,2,1,0,7,4,0,1,3,15,19,1,1,5,2,0,2,7,13,0,2,6,2,28,3,28,35,3,27,0,6,0,5,14,11,6,4,15,143,43,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11302528824538866,0.0,0.08727085104875723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06652435265118814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198736717053424,0.07037952309178093,0.11250776044640844,0.0,0.3322925476885185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11167740498076822,0.0,0.1069053998895178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1974278274064525,0.09194634136403404,0.0,0.09807859084716956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11035834543357363,0.07796216280320913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09282552814390096,0.0,0.1196549042072278,0.0,0.403553992651383,0.17104703626595846,0.10468699556639978,0.1240416611631094,0.09153267774422907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21944168423693766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3536358789830977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08895513771247998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053315179271862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10993652718695587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16183633733311045,0.1683348526071413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10471273367615344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07565668003788407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2088444566574811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091590686739405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18639205608755116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11201990115968084,0.09027308044815373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08715098895420358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16410366047706554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06363431042961963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07409179194900294,0.0,0.0,0.11360769633481713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0643674281776311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2108275309920632
bipolarreddit,octo87,2020/04/19,Tired vent Been on an increased dose of seroquel. I sleep almost all day besides work. When I’m not sleeping I’m suicidal. I’m tired of living like this.  This illness has taken everything from me. I just want off this ride.,0.6599025974025956,3.14516570454546,1.8796103896103915,92.78227272727275,96.5,4.3324675324675335,22.19480519480519,6.1826913282559595,0.5921077922077926,177,7,34,2,7,56,34,44,0.17,0.64,0.19,-0.0026,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,0,2,6,2,0,1,5,7,1,1,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,0,3,1,5,5,2,6,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,3,18,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2619863160696396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687307772221908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23513766697337546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12782001413323407,0.0,0.2310255501476626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5236412168995177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2861825728082133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6014142139384175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15431713241423745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19047096536655606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ZealousidealSundae2,2020/04/19,Coming of weed & cocaine & experiencing 1 episode of mania I’ve only had 1 episode of mania now I’m constantly feeling flat/depressed/no motivation. My episode was December & now I’m on a mood stabiliser & an anti depressant does this make me bipolar as I just feel depressed,4.205555555555557,6.721215111111111,5.8849629629629625,72.10633333333334,73.81481481481481,8.764444444444445,36.725925925925935,9.3871,4.142241481481482,232,14,38,6,5,79,39,54,0.157,0.768,0.075,-0.6486,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,2,0,6,8,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,3,3,0,5,6,0,5,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,16,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8423369550543621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16742016173459093,0.0,0.21002938480055067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3347964304812336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17008191740067852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19654408772479184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297338890543201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14781621100682873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,idiotinbcn,2020/04/19,"Abilify definitely makes me hungry ALL THE TIME! ​

For the first few weeks it killed my appetite and made me hate protein. I've now worked up to my standard dose and now am permanently hungry. Even while I am eating and after eating. It's unbearable. 

Heard a lot about low carb curbing medication hunger. Anyone managed Abilify hunger successfully? Please halp.",4.721718750000001,8.154460234375005,4.861250000000002,74.45875000000002,79.46875,7.575,28.3125,8.472884824447931,2.91431875,301,13,45,7,8,94,51,64,0.195,0.695,0.11,-0.75,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,3,4,4,2,0,3,0,2,6,0,2,1,9,6,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,3,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,2,1,5,1,5,4,3,9,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,7,28,7,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2556712755228767,0.2867269996947092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16499434188533105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4829084340421166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15585466664053935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20071429645369135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329695894091781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2610636775139602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20061159148394397,0.0,0.22327866733494192,0.15751050072792186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2377129777778893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590220508530735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375948632190583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892793303654065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717875453464953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2867269996947092,0.0
bipolarreddit,jessjoyvin,2020/04/19,"Just diagnosed bipolar and confused if I actually am bipolar Hey all,
So I've recently been diagnosed as bipolar, and I don't really have much information to go on. I spoke to my psychiatrist about ""a voice that's not mine"" that I keep having (not an auditory hallucination) just feels like someone else is commenting on what I should do, (usually involving some form of self-harm or intrusive thoughts). 

So my psychiatrist originally put me on rexulti, which was working to an extent, and the voice came back less, but when it was there, it has come back with a vengeance. In the span of 20 minutes one night in particular, it told me several different ways I should essentially kill myself. After that episode, I've now been switched to resperidone and upped my wellbutrin. Fourth day on it now, and I genuinely feel like I'm on an up, but it also makes me wonder, am I actually bipolar, or am I losing my mind.
I'm also a bit nervous because my psychiatrist said if this course of treatment doesn't work with the intrusive thoughts, that the hospital may be the best course of treatment for now, which with the whole covid thing, I would really like to avoid going to ""ground zero"".

Does this relate to anyone here? Have you had similar experiences with bipolar?
What is something you wish you knew about bipolar when you were first diagnosed?
I'm really new to this whole world, and I don't know really anything besides ""I don't talk about the voice to my friends""

Sorry for the long-ish post.",9.356730769230767,7.814867607142857,9.161428571428576,67.742032967033,60.42857142857143,13.18681318681319,40.10989010989012,12.09199376347754,4.8121236263736265,1190,52,217,32,13,388,155,280,0.066,0.855,0.078,0.6591,1,1,1,0,0,1,40.0,0,4,0,5,18,10,1,3,14,0,25,9,0,2,1,43,45,19,1,6,10,0,2,3,1,4,9,5,0,0,17,12,0,2,8,0,0,5,6,5,0,3,13,7,27,5,33,27,10,34,0,1,0,0,13,12,0,8,18,156,44,2,0.0,0.0,0.22381419000858205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18341248407472216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08018402610797476,0.0,0.09436845993861293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17635731223285456,0.0,0.06990533852133783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12034523780446554,0.0,0.12519633591164228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13115863130600428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987830973851752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0739564413726525,0.0,0.0,0.3491807452239641,0.0,0.1198118638704882,0.0,0.0,0.10035361593237087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09579696429254513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11217499348310048,0.0,0.0,0.11596711863758236,0.1638489114261722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975432260475438,0.0,0.0,0.08859828325693894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13034586536786652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019291714344109,0.1268718459944011,0.0,0.06302285240445239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1680744948335289,0.0,0.0,0.10148452549865294,0.0,0.12829295191013618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07654702554239969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11578992594790227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08429995024339358,0.0,0.0,0.1107546580367685,0.0,0.10761552417315716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0777073290678992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10982777242062117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11528091075579125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2938571637543324,0.0,0.11322857496158213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090830012582851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11963192954234755,0.1295510781089658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971644821618267,0.08828307787642184,0.0,0.12837023413666884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09217211064122682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07618554434355908,0.0,0.0,0.1820796433232632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10957769643703168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262992560641887,0.0,0.0,0.09102435818587727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25606299980620545,0.13187157702363714,0.0,0.12436107602045827,0.16697078049696346,0.0,0.0,0.08146243915754071,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Faith2040,2020/04/20,"Any one else treat the different aspects of this illness (depression, anxiety , (hypo)mania as separate “entities”? It started out as a “let’s pretend” that the thoughts and feelings you experience in the height of either of these symptoms are not really your thoughts and feelings. It’s a coping mechanism I know; I write especially when I feel most overwhelmed and it helps sometimes. The only thing is that I notice if I’m alone and not writing, the thoughts spill outside of my head in a verbal way so for eg. I might “respond”  out loud with a “No you’re not” “Shut up”  “we’re not gonna do that” etc 
Am I making any sense??",4.575228758169935,6.172653731092439,5.432212885154061,79.6665452847806,70.51260504201679,8.650233426704013,33.390289449112984,9.150863307647796,3.0770160597572365,490,24,91,10,9,160,83,119,0.09699999999999999,0.843,0.06,-0.4891,1,1,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,2,0,0,2,3,0,1,9,0,6,3,1,1,0,25,17,9,0,1,6,0,3,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,9,7,0,0,7,1,0,0,5,2,0,1,3,4,9,1,13,11,3,10,0,2,0,0,6,7,0,3,2,62,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19928644725170702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2617009273932897,0.0,0.14719882192908754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657288669997821,0.0,0.0,0.2010352803940502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16074008829600014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21459631905647447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882211872811922,0.0,0.0,0.29187613136121543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19747581526205749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12897336017866615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10574759790113517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1967598784356492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128440141452781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20412450606949295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21906854119013627,0.0,0.0,0.13038704334592865,0.14634214073997187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12326754505507682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903057773095646,0.0,0.1361940608746723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19999540499098706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12783360323679385,0.0,0.0,0.45827388415944503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527320148392558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,HelloSunflower21,2020/04/20,"I've had enough - content warning suicidal ideation. I was diagnosed 6 years ago, and it's been like slipping in and out a a nightmare this whole time. I've done everything I'm supposed to do. I've gone on meds. I stayed on them. My moods got bad again, so I went to my doctor. He changed my meds. Then he changed them again. And again. And again, more times than I can count. They're not working. 

Today he called me because I sent him a message that I was feeling suicidal. I didn't have the energy to explain everything that happened so I handed the phone to my boyfriend. He told him about how I was threatening to overdose on my lorazepam, and my doctor said I needed to be hospitalized. 

Here's the thing: I've tried that before too. And being locked up and herded like an animal, while simultaneously being cut off from my entire support system, was traumatizing and horrible. It didn't help me at all. Instead it made everything so, so much worse. 

So my doctor called my mom (I'm 26 so she's not usually involved, but I signed a release several months ago in case he ever needed to contact her). She agreed with me that the hospital would spin me into a deeper depression, and asked if I could just come home and stay with her. She apparently managed to convince him because I'm at her house now. I drove myself here, and talked to my therapist via telehealth. My doctor is prescribing an old medication that I took for years until it just seemed to stop working. My hopes for that aren't high, but at least it probably won't make things worse. 

Here's the latest problem: my insurance has changed since I turned 26, so I can't even get the prescription filled because my new insurance doesn't want to cover it. 

This pandemic has ruined my mental health more than anything else. Starting grad school was a close second, but it wasn't this bad. Also, I just had emergency spine surgery less than 3 weeks ago, and I'm still in so much pain with very limited mobility. 

So basically everything is terrible and I've just had enough pain and suffering. I was supposed to be successful. I'm a medical student, and I'm good with patients. But I can't help anyone if I can't get better, and I've tried and tried to no avail. And yes, in case anyone is wondering, I have tried lithium. Twice. It did nothing for me.",3.277256097560972,5.381272997782708,4.296385254988916,84.34165105321509,75.11973392461199,7.7029046563192916,27.23952328159645,8.548686976883017,2.051399512195122,1826,72,355,36,40,592,226,451,0.17600000000000002,0.764,0.06,-0.9947,1,0,0,0,0,0,59.0,0,0,2,5,29,19,1,0,15,1,36,12,2,3,2,57,68,38,2,9,12,1,2,2,0,2,10,1,1,0,19,26,0,2,4,0,0,7,12,10,0,2,24,3,53,8,40,37,10,52,0,3,0,0,31,16,0,5,28,232,72,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20972237212362266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06306686254065616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11028594870233213,0.0,0.06489768372252427,0.0,0.07372643455232598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316949348677615,0.1442228013308126,0.0,0.06710676400299047,0.0,0.0,0.0697480805830627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16105626371382287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2502803864264252,0.06793365299597623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0629658380521867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06792474782296319,0.08004447524197965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3228792564482181,0.0,0.08070442151279555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06588007364197454,0.0,0.0,0.16297350826528054,0.0,0.05208839155855247,0.07133626808444214,0.0,0.0,0.2835085911415681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03987559716694519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08240552100758157,0.0,0.0,0.06614670002528501,0.06307409532242328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0697384562448424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08382788048949433,0.0,0.0,0.1057206644154228,0.08332328746918265,0.07910620716046578,0.07832893957933437,0.0,0.09099752998545613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07705713974510034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0746222548320481,0.05264179003008173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17519844572955032,0.15889272912952962,0.07947554416697328,0.0,0.0,0.09236361204082716,0.06294784385321482,0.0,0.11594703383480273,0.11695210849918578,0.0,0.0761665579023137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07567135534544954,0.0,0.08275364905127737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16783198350805506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08502785458673122,0.07546141971869166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07501695078810203,0.0,0.0,0.07981375604121271,0.0,0.07179408399374303,0.0,0.08909295434615395,0.0,0.06523644363871915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05581977000970857,0.16811532955975098,0.06298024339863786,0.06593315599868756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17252705419441094,0.08949301058889195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06338724281738845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09156623905174248,0.10478639503607264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091971517648937,0.0,0.07475308050694801,0.07535715525122708,0.0876199030507477,0.21417171035162968,0.08578050185119884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08685665930943134,0.06507038889769387,0.046515551254407365,0.0,0.06325929204771988,0.0,0.0,0.07310696489666811,0.0,0.0880479324621485,0.0,0.0,0.08552376275101396,0.11482667949274394,0.0,0.1607366510391569,0.05602214569518767,0.0,0.0,0.1015706142205788
bipolarreddit,emlhiggins,2020/04/20,I know this sounds awful.. but I want to trigger a manic episode. Today I got diagnosed with bipolar and it explains a lot but I still think that it might be BPD not bipolar. I haven’t experienced a manic episode like ever and I can only remember one time that could be considered a manic episode that lasted for about a month but it was a long time ago and it’s fuzzy I can’t really remember it. I have been suffering so much lately and I desperately need help. I can’t cope with life anymore or anything I’m so anxious and scared and yet so depressed at the same time! All of this is ruining my life by being absolutely crippled by this. I need to be happy I really want to be happy even if it’s for a few weeks I want to have energy and not struggle to get out of bed I need to get things done but I’ve been burying my head in the sand! I know this sounds crazy please don’t get upset with me but I need this and I will things in place to help cope with the comedown. I’ll try drinking caffeine I heard that helps and I’ve experienced something traumatic in my life so maybe that will trigger it. I don’t know what to do things have gotten out of control I can’t sleep and I can barely eat and when I do I binge! I’m being put on Aripiprazole I don’t know when. Please please help me I am on the edge I want to hurt myself but I can’t and I want to die but I’m terrified :( xx,0.04735521235521389,2.233667905405412,2.2988262548262557,93.64424324324324,87.85135135135134,5.545019305019308,19.605791505791508,6.9916214562510826,0.31332482625482605,1084,33,246,16,35,366,133,296,0.179,0.67,0.151,-0.951,0,0,2,0,0,4,15.0,0,0,0,1,11,10,0,3,11,1,31,10,2,3,2,55,55,27,1,11,11,0,1,1,0,3,6,3,1,0,21,18,2,1,8,1,0,1,10,7,0,1,7,6,34,3,30,38,5,25,0,4,0,0,6,9,0,4,16,166,55,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08876779333276902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11312934636477558,0.09931166440095014,0.0,0.0,0.08240643262981037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12612243432705905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11231517767784922,0.07995339423225334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08625016848524522,0.1016396776904899,0.10392918847225767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10247767089434304,0.0,0.09809877287704488,0.0,0.10246790303757422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06614132097714995,0.09058208294608792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15695656514345224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0800908582361241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21320112474455785,0.0,0.0,0.10277221250861514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.268486094110154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10720160956220473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2201366195520993,0.08162721302872611,0.11296193239173725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21219487414040544,0.04892319441014638,0.0,0.0,0.08862047466826488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08513518363026737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10060377855586933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10623238642236286,0.0,0.0,0.0799305453775601,0.0,0.073614194561907,0.2970092458510185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0678572457560704,0.07616074691037765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10462466267562273,0.3297699255642931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10066804747984667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12830409960839126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2268774959983895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10025729946097407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10021200994719584,0.0,0.0,0.07709242594515305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07997168599774858,0.0,0.0,0.1046877469180722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19958508164900368,0.06416547005545868,0.0,0.0,0.17517677607886772,0.0,0.0949207173403106,0.0,0.0,0.0679882763449741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2953249192277733,0.0,0.08032601919397382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,laundryisdrying,2020/04/20,"Energy lulls and rushes within same hypomania Hi all, 

So usually in hypo/mania I experience an ever increasing level of feeling sped up, racing and fast thoughts/movements/plans/etc. Currently I've been wading in and out of stability to hypo for a few months now (diagnosed as hypomanic in February by a psych) where I'll spend a week or two of hypo build up and then I do things to sedate, relax, come back down to normal. Since lockdown the past 3 weeks I've been leaning more towards a mild hypo on most days but experiencing weird things in terms of energy/motivation. I'll have some nights where I only sleep 2-4 hours and am not too tired in the evening but I also have days where I am sleeping fine and even feel tired but I feel stoned like my usual hypo way of where I feel like the only drunk person at a party trying to fake being sober. Like now I can sit with my eyes shut in calm but be in complete bliss in my mind as if I have taken MDMA or am stoned. I am motivated and have started new activities but will also happily sit giggling and smiling to myself for hours which is not typical for my previous hypo/mania as I usually want to get up and do things. Long post sorry just trying to understand if this even is hypomania then as I'm not running around like a duracell bunny but the bliss/motivation/disinhibition is all there but I am also cool, calm and collected! Has anyone experienced this before or am I just in a really good mood and should stop thinking anything of it?   
THANKS!",5.422243954480798,6.097517547297298,6.910113798008535,73.26831436699861,67.78378378378378,9.880227596017072,28.754623044096732,9.93914555978268,2.7622662162162164,1198,39,221,27,19,412,169,296,0.043,0.7340000000000001,0.223,0.9955,1,1,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,1,20,15,0,0,12,1,23,7,3,1,3,50,36,33,0,5,17,0,4,4,0,2,3,0,0,1,7,15,1,1,7,2,1,4,3,2,0,1,3,8,18,12,41,29,9,59,0,0,1,0,2,25,0,7,30,156,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26768944512957144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07801874398165916,0.0,0.09182014265509496,0.09932910978419464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08579748773066521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09494564814087184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09611556763477096,0.11698862782460714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14391865675284926,0.0,0.0,0.11325050007786185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12444025955804013,0.2210909512901812,0.10092973949580587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10914583019212963,0.0,0.0,0.22567110628974504,0.07971217518448295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058295506561025674,0.0,0.0,0.09358730672813606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21976599609776715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21804776867661974,0.0,0.0,0.09874404662990732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11266314535042035,0.0,0.08906142208626752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10776384935462176,0.0,0.1047094843754992,0.1093238876533294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.169721960358219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10651493498253907,0.0,0.09742661990818023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10686199327309873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07148046792778093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09229943532082144,0.0,0.22331948503196586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12490373604448295,0.07897630471959584,0.0,0.0,0.09328517509784316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10272710066564604,0.0,0.0,0.22238471056215728,0.07149542124326998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564876640973134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15150985265709122,0.0,0.10899662758205274,0.11615784204711313,0.0,0.0,0.3686660474248478,0.0,0.06581228029834434,0.08856634472102802,0.17900414581563825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,veggievandam,2020/04/20,"Getting on SSI due to frequent episodes, comorbidities, and inability to maintain a job Has anyone had success getting on SSI due to the frequency of their episodes and the inability to maintain a job due to them? I have worked jobs but never been able to keep them. I also have fibromyalgia and OCD which I was hospitalized for in July last year. The fibromyalgia was diagnosed at the end of last year after years of trying to find help. It's been bad lately because I'm having a depresive/ OCD episode /flair up and that is making everything so much worse. 

​

Everything is falling apart yet again. Every time I come out of an episode I do well for a few months and it all falls apart again. It's like I can't actually get it together, I just try and try and try and nothing comes from it. I need help. When I am not working things get better and as soon as I go back to work it all falls apart. 

​

Please give me your SSI stories",3.958558558558561,5.79637602702703,4.528108108108111,84.56531531531532,72.51351351351352,7.744144144144144,28.54954954954956,8.447377352677275,2.0341063063063065,755,30,148,13,15,240,112,185,0.078,0.807,0.115,0.8038,3,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,3,5,10,5,0,0,9,0,14,1,0,1,3,22,26,15,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,9,12,0,1,1,0,0,6,3,1,1,0,5,0,15,4,24,21,4,36,0,0,0,0,7,9,0,0,22,97,24,7,0.11454346830782085,0.0,0.11177790197448613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09160037022234906,0.0,0.2482156001115366,0.27836570280275585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0800914563091211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08807685678236925,0.09563901155316286,0.06982463512641221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013043894420486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19733811115073333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11625920921137205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10145151461811776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09650781226861818,0.0,0.2058885670191929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10469065490345487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393769383341041,0.10988053211478553,0.06509769269459759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15355214466809114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3410001538452225,0.10181149758645147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18673642916787492,0.1292100214135237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0559601528011341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07645865454007854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09142750359487133,0.0,0.08420262874662943,0.08493253037523225,0.08834298413982454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10990754709577777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12573433144401824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07609759065929354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06679121750446194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31106998460112195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10298833412626357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25016702740265084,0.0,0.11672957992793558,0.0,0.0,0.27836570280275585,0.22128671440533365
bipolarreddit,slejla,2020/04/20,"What’s everyone’s current drug cocktail? For right now I’m taking 100g Lamictal, once a day. 200g of Trazadone and I was recently prescribed Lexapro today but I don’t remember the dosage. I know that overcoming this illness is one part meds and two parts my own effort but I really hope I’m getting closer to helping myself.",1.9251562500000008,4.663298703125005,3.570625000000004,83.711875,85.40625,6.95,28.3125,8.07648339933343,2.5097875000000007,263,13,47,6,8,87,54,64,0.069,0.813,0.11800000000000001,0.4408,1,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,0,3,2,0,0,0,7,9,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,6,1,3,8,3,7,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,5,27,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15193086260021002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2732002589973032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22510864006469544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12308184077541408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15790560905564668,0.0,0.0,0.2339860230608498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12946967365678094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2616784280679519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2508870783758393,0.15963641998612926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5102245691605533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15091982368879908,0.0,0.232608745710512,0.0,0.26686841495744223,0.2011856902346323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17712830093789186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22330413399319168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23012932475451645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Jelenybeany,2020/04/20,"Lamictal Twice a Day Hi! I'd been taking 200mg of Lamictal once a day in the morning for over a year. Everything was fine. My new psychiatrist added 50mg for me to take later in the day. 

So a total of 250mg a day split in to doses of 200mg and 50mg

Has anyone else done this? It seems everything I've read has people splitting the dose in half through the day, not taking a different amount. 

I've never taken Lamictal at night. Any weird side effects at night? I knew a lot of people who took Zoloft at night because it made them sleepy, but when I took it at night I had heart palpitations and couldn't sleep. This didn't happen in the morning.

Thanks!",1.6364309954751128,3.63661236029412,3.240000000000002,90.46653846153849,79.80882352941177,6.537556561085973,20.75565610859729,7.61054688173877,0.6546104072398187,515,14,112,8,13,170,82,136,0.011000000000000001,0.937,0.051,0.7044,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,1,2,3,0,0,12,0,8,5,2,2,2,12,19,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,3,1,0,2,4,1,0,2,10,0,6,2,19,8,3,27,0,0,0,0,3,11,0,2,14,62,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913345267701011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09391177114606676,0.13761514274509293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08187334150899267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4330900264108396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14032401322973656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13744443880229495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11219769103405842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2414160121258289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187687465176992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15915646510798387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11418446022701675,0.0,0.12708614652453154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10358715512524624,0.12971618667418638,0.0,0.5041584948256129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430343901697566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18622549353188306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13434505338528074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12226960306357355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13440570368391014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30295029943913193,0.0,0.0,0.12365341296033965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29844383187387397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08649040417282755
bipolarreddit,CorazonSincero,2020/04/20,Hallucinations Y’all ever have hallucinations after not sleeping for a while?,12.330000000000005,16.78854927272728,12.3,26.470000000000034,56.27272727272727,11.672727272727276,38.27272727272727,11.20814326018867,6.236018181818182,66,3,6,2,1,22,10,11,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,1,2,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,8,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6705634760133273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7418521582073639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bicentennial-man,2020/04/20,"Bipolar Disorder as a teenager? Hello, Bipolar Reddit. I've been recently experiencing cycles of mania and depression, and many symptoms common with Bipolar Disorder. However, I've heard that BPD can't be diagnosed in teens.  Have any of you experienced the effects of BPD as a teenager?",5.866530612244903,9.139377285714293,7.497306122448977,58.76555102040818,72.06122448979592,10.450612244897961,40.41224489795919,10.355215969177356,5.957845714285713,233,15,29,8,5,80,37,49,0.187,0.813,0.0,-0.8577,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,3,0,4,5,0,1,0,4,5,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,3,1,0,7,2,0,3,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,18,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16533839545634535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6124335897382943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.209409612900322,0.2467743070452098,0.0,0.0,0.5573016767511418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2464981313592961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2400639511718132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2527076972116197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bipolarbear222,2020/04/20,Modafinil Why wouldn’t my doctor want me to swap it with my vyvance? I have bipolar depression and ADHD at the moment. I really want to try it and my vyvance hasn’t been working.,3.148333333333333,4.926334944444445,4.495555555555558,84.20500000000001,74.55555555555556,7.022222222222222,28.66666666666667,7.793537801064563,1.9155666666666664,142,6,27,2,3,47,27,36,0.105,0.8220000000000001,0.07400000000000001,-0.4767,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,0,0,6,6,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,6,0,4,4,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,19,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4594893258932386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3293023928859276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3913334799517733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449319680189696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2595786475758561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4510191888943881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3449955827189667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2783425889387166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mrguy12343,2020/04/20,"Time manic/depressed to 'normal' Hi everyone, I was just wondering how much of your time is spent manic, depressed or just euthmic? I've recently started using emoods to try and track mine. Just curious about everyone else :)",4.087692307692308,7.392963410256415,5.000717948717952,73.1026153846154,81.56410256410257,9.273846153846154,30.87692307692308,9.3871,4.2191600000000005,179,9,26,6,5,58,31,39,0.077,0.7979999999999999,0.124,0.25,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,5,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,9,6,3,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,3,0,4,4,1,4,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,2,4,16,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4597808554503503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22297025448800348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5100906284704783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19621061583637492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2615165354872032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2635428414766858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18892128737082434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3112764082091994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18121534373486234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23052578165868204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2894540654128157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bigcat7777777,2020/04/20,"I triggered mixed episode for the first time. Will i have mixed episode all the time for the rest of my life? Can this be reversible? I have been bipolar 2 for many years but i only had pleasurable hypomania or depression.  Hypomania for me was a pure pleasure ride. All my thoughts was positive though sometime can be over confident.

Recently I took taurine 1000mg before bed.  I took it for one month. 

Then for the first time of my life i have mixed episode now. I feel like brain is hot, manic, racing thought, quick in speech, no need for sleep  while i also have most depressive thought. Lost all hope and suicidal thought.  

For those of u have mixed episode.  Does this uncommon?  Do u sometimes still can experience the pure pleasurable hypomania???

Or u always have mixed episode instead of the pleasurable hypomania??? 

I am so worried now that i cannot turn back. This change is permanent and not reversible.  

Please kindly help me.

All your answers are appreciated!",3.4337523809523813,6.486467651428577,3.4382857142857155,85.25438095238097,81.05714285714284,7.219047619047619,29.47619047619048,8.269060116576782,2.5242761904761903,769,37,140,17,21,234,103,175,0.14400000000000002,0.648,0.207,0.9471,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,1,0,3,9,10,0,0,7,0,22,5,2,1,6,22,33,10,1,2,4,0,2,1,0,1,3,1,1,0,6,2,0,0,6,0,0,3,3,3,0,3,11,3,17,7,14,19,6,20,0,3,0,0,2,2,0,4,16,93,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10967591141144216,0.11411677563793204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10545710152058467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11670146900293164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1531007183326095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14508268623653509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23624795414781866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200177223087236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13415547703742384,0.0,0.0,0.06934533106892575,0.09797740205686876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23331328339500104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09192632832583017,0.0,0.0,0.13621730164105136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142816851255923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19374108973441392,0.06700279427135439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14971147586045455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13904490445386908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10946893293662573,0.0,0.0,0.10169230380589517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09293393720569842,0.10430600287479172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505455421561877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354155058678672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13724542657047634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27128255545217794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10952527710106386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15001588115870798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13474562309488186,0.4355156287576047,0.2399134731541004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3047493513309937,0.0,0.14917588005580926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13927880724496372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0883177729039608